The Hellsing Files

by ToMakeMeTame

There's nothing better than watching your favorite Hellsing characters be bruised and abused- especially at the hands of their co-workers. Watch as Alucard films the madness from behind a conveniently placed rock... and narrowly dodges a silver ashtray.

21. Pizza

The Hellsing Files

-Pizza

"Akai-sama, Kei found pizza."

Akai stared with distaste at the moldy, green, wiggling pizza slice. "Is that from back when Pip ordered pizza?"

Kei nodded happily. "Mm-hmm!"

Akai grinned. "Oh, I have just the use for this..."

xXx

Shay was sitting serenely outside on the grounds, face turned upwards to the moon. Her eyes were closed, and she seemed perfectly calm.

Akai, grinning a grin that would make Alucard proud, walked up to her. "Hey, Shay..."

Shay's blood-red eyes opened, showing a distinctive pissed-off look. "What, Kiddy?"

A piece of green, moldy, wiggly pizza hit her square in the face. Akai cackled madly. "Take that, SLUT!"

The offending pizza slid slowly down Shay's face. She twitched, then pulled the thing off her face. "Kiddy-kat? You are SO FUCKIN' DEAD!"

Akai took one look at her face and bolted, cackling hysterically.

(143)

Moral- Don't keep pizza for more that two weeks or it gets scary AND IT REALLY DOES MOVE!!!! Oo

AN- Most of this chapter was written by my amazing co-authoress, KRISH-un. And it is dedicated to Spastic Dhampir, who has made me laugh hysterically on more than one occasion with their review for EVERY chapter...