It seemed like a year ago when in reality it was just yesterday. Yesterday, very late yesterday he had become a father and now, now he was driving Cora and their baby Mary back home. Home to the grand house that would no longer house just the two of them but three.
She had Cora's tuffs of hair already for which Robert was relieved. A daughter born into this family certainly needed Cora's looks. But it appeared she had Robert's ability to time things wrong. Nothing could have been worse than the phone in his office blaring loudly through the strict meeting. Every share holder, every senior manager sat at the long length of table. The three or four people closest to him could probably hear Cora's words from the other end—the baby was coming.
He'd been a nervous wreck driving her to the hospital but now, driving her home, despite the nagging thoughts that told him he shouldn't be so relaxed (that meeting still needed to be completed before the financial year could truly get off to a good start) but he didn't care. All he could focus on was glancing in the rearview mirror with a childish look on his face admiring Cora watching over their baby.
"You both alright in the back?"
"Robert you know we're alright. You've spent more time looking in the rearview mirror than at the road. Focus." Any other husband might have taken offence at such remarks but the raise of her eyebrows and the twinkle in her eye means Robert knows differently. Not that she didn't have a fair point, he should focus on the road.
Home appears soon enough and he takes the car around the back, it would save parking on the road and Cora negotiating the steps outside the front. He parks right by the back door and rushes to unlock the door. He's happy to find Cora stays put while he does all this—she had a habit of being stubborn and disregarding his cautions. The only conclusion would be that she was feeling more tired and no doubt aching more than she was letting on.
"I'll come back for Mary, let's get you inside." He takes her hand and helps her to the pristine white door with the arch of trellis wrapped across it beginning to show the first signs of spring—a soft pink rose bearing its head. She doesn't grumble about his help as he helps her right through to the lounge, further proof of her less than calm state of mind.
Arriving back at the car and Mary, he is faced with the complicated system of how the car seat fitted—it had taken him some time to get it in place—but it appeared that taking it out without waking his sleeping daughter was to prove far more of a problem.
The fastening clicks out from the plug alright but as he tries to weave the belt back through the various slots he'd pushed it through he finds himself battling with the plastic framework of the carrier. He doesn't think he can get the belt more twisted—it appears to have looped itself through the same slot twice—when he jumps back, somewhat startled by the cry of little Mary.
"Sshh my little one. Mummy will hear you and then Dada will be in trouble." He gives up on going about the process sensibly and instead takes his baby daughter carefully from within, he could sort the car seat later. He places his hand easily behind her head, goodness his splayed hand was almost as big as it, as he lifts her right out, removing from her legs the dangling straps. He cushions her in the crook of his arm as he had watched Cora do.
He slams the car door shut and watches her little eyes widen and then soften as she tries to take in his form. He was well aware she couldn't make out his face, she probably couldn't actually see him, she was far too young but it was always nice to think she could.
"Shall we try and find your mummy?" Mary only cries more in response. "Alright then little one. It can't be that bad. It can't. It definitely can't when your mummy and daddy love you so much already." He's unsurprised when Cora hurries out the living room at the sound of them. "What did I tell you Mary? Here's mummy panicking again." Cora rolls her eyes as she takes Mary easily from his arms, not struggling like he had when he'd taken her from the nurses arms, to hold her in the right place. A mother's instinct he supposed.
"I'm sorry she woke. It was the wretched car seat."
"Robert. The stopping of the motion of the car would have woken her a little and she's due a feed. Don't panic." She pats his shoulder gently, before leaning up to place a kiss on the back of his head, just below the end of his hairline.
He goes back to the car, Cora would need the carrier later to rest Mary in, most of the items they had purchased had been left in boxes, only the truly essential had been opened which mean the bouncer they were going to have in the sitting room for resting Mary in was not ready yet.
Strangely enough without the pressure of trying not to wake a sleeping baby he wiggles the carrier free easily enough and locks the car.
Entering the living space his finds himself somewhat diverted. Cora was sat on he settee, her back to him, Mary clutched against her chest as she fed. Robert finds himself blushing profusely. The image of them kissing on their wedding day hanging uncomfortably over the fireplace beneath the reflection of his red cheeks in the gilded mirror. She'd protested when he'd first suggested having that photograph placed there but she'd eventually given in, what did it matter what visitors made of it anyway?
"Do you want anything to eat? Or drink?" He places the carrier behind the sofa by his feet not trusting himself to walk around and face her. He was a grown man, he shouldn't be so easily overcome by the sight of his wife nursing his baby.
"I would." Her eyes catch his in the mirror before she drops them to look at Mary, stroking her rounded cheek. "But first, Mary and I would like very much for you to come and sit with us." He hesitates slightly but he's fully aware she's not going to let him go. He steps awkwardly around the arm of the chair, focusing with rather more concentration than was necessary on the edge of the rug and remaining upright.
He finds his seat beside her but refrains from wrapping his arm around the back of the cushions as he usually would, instead keeping his hands firmly in his lap and gaze trained on her neck and above, certainly not lower.
"She's got such a pretty face hasn't she Robert?"
"Yes. Yes. It's like yours." He touches the edge of her cheek, feeling the soft curve of her cheek bone beneath the layer of smooth white skin. It was tinged with pink these days, the coming of Spring and motherhood having a good effect on her.
"Robert, you can't know that unless you look." He feels a stupid anger balling itself in his fingers.
"I looked in the hospital and in the car on the way home."
"Um, but a natural reaction to me saying Mary's face is beautiful would be for you to look at it again. Instead you kept your eyes focused on my ear." She takes one of her hands from beneath Mary, the one nearest him that hadn't been supporting Mary's head, and pushes her hand in his lap. Her fingers catching on the treads of his trousers as she searches out his fingers. "So tell me, what's so fascinating about my ear?"
He growls softly, her eyes and words piercing through the firm barrier he was trying to keep in place.
"Your ear isn't...I mean...it was you breast feeding. It...it's beautiful but I find it a little odd." He searches her eyes for some kind of understanding but instead they drop from his, her hand also moving straight back to Mary whom she proceeds to shift into a new position.
"What's odd?" She takes his hand again, he looks down at it, turning it in the light and watching how the two rings shine.
"It's such a motherly gesture and yet, stupidly, foolishly I've only ever through of your breasts as something that bring you...well..." He falls short, pushing away the images of how he touched her and the ways she responded to those touches.
She smiles into a laugh, a short puff of air from her nose the only giveaway that she was trying to hide her amusement.
"Robert, that won't change. I'll still like you doing that, when we can again."
"I'm not worried about that. Just, in my mind, everything will sit strangely. Touching you there when Mary-" He breaks off again, stupidly embarrassed. "This is all silly. This is a ridiculous conversation to be be having less than a day after our daughter is born."
"Robert, there's nothing wrong with your thoughts or feelings. You have concerns. They are different from many other father's perhaps but they are yours and I will respect them." He twists his fingers over her rings. Rubbing the cold metal beneath his thumb and warming it.
"I have other more sensible worries too." She raises her hand from his and pats his cheek.
"Of course you do." She laughs her soft gentle laugh, the one that sounds like honey and he finds himself smiling. "Now, why don't you kiss me? I don't believe I've had more than one soft peck on the lips since I gave birth."
It was true, the arrival of his dear mother had rather put a stop to any hope of time alone just the three of them immediately after the birth.
Willingness with a smattering of fragility was always the emotions that Robert seemed to find when he kissed Cora. She was easily willing, her lips and tongue perfectly ready to set their own pace and usurp his example but at the flicker of something new there was hesitation.
He pours all he words of love he hadn't been able to find in the last few minutes into his lips, in the touch of his palm on her cheek and ear, the slide of his tongue over the round lips and the eventual pressing of it between the seam of them. He senses her hesitation as she lets her lips be parted, unsure if she should let herself be taken in.
"You're a wonderful mother already Cora." He pulls his mouth away, breathing his words onto her bottom lip, her top still pressed awkwardly to his. He shifts properly away, for the first time dropping his gaze from her face to Mary. His embarrassment at the warm stirring he felt from her kisses finally forcing his eyes to the star of the show.
Little Mary blinks up at him from where she is cuddled against Cora. She squirms as she stops feeding. Robert doesn't see Cora adjusting one of her blankets to cover herself, he forgets all about his earlier anxieties and gets utterly lost in his baby's eyes.
"And you're a beautiful little girl whom we both love so very much already." Cora shifts awkwardly by his side and he contemplates reaching for Mary, but she seemed so much more content in her mother's arms than she was when she was in his.
"Robert, could you take her? I need to-" She gestures somewhat wildly at her bare skin. He lifts Mary gently, trying not to disturb her. "Don't look panicking Robert. She can't hurt you. And you've already got the hang of holding onto her I can see that."
"It doesn't feel like I have." He felt all the time as if one of her bones was lying wrongly, or his finger was jabbing somewhere it shouldn't.
"Have more faith." She leans over and kisses his cheek. "Isn't that what you always say to me when I question how I ever deserved you?"
"Um, but that's because everybody else is sat around questioning how I could ever, the dull boring Robert Crawley, ended up with a woman like you."
"Well then, have some faith in yourself." He kisses her forehead but turns his attention back to his little girl.
Her nose is like a tiny button, perfectly formed but miniature. Everything about Mary was in miniature; the soft curls and the brown eyes, everything was small but perfectly detailed. Her fingers and nails, all ready to be of use but at the minute just thin and baby soft. The new chapter of his life was quite easily the most fragile and Mary was the littlest person he'd ever felt the urge to fight for whatever the circumstances.
"You get some more sleep, I'll go." She murmurs her agreement beneath a hearty yawn and he pats her stomach gently.
They'd had rather a bad week, Edward had a bout of cold and he was awake every night crying. Clarkson said it would pass but that it was likely his ears being a little infected was causing his distress. Cora had stayed up with him most of the last week usually saying that him getting work was important. But tonight was Friday and it was only fair that he took a turn. Cora had been up already to feed him and she still had some recovery to do and she needed her rest.
He grabs his dressing gown from the back of the door and heads down the hall. The nursery was still where it had always been, the teddy bear wallpaper lined the walls and the rocking horse he had enjoyed as a young boy stood over by the window.
Edward had his arms and legs wide, kicking and punching his mouth wide open and his cheeks and forehead red, glistening with sweat and tears.
"Come to Dada come on." He lifts him from the crib right out in front of him, careful to keep his head firmly. He continues to cry though which was strange, he had liked in the week being more vertical as he rested in someone's lap. "Now then, I think you need a change. We can't have you smelling bad can we Edward." He tucks him easily under his arm as he grabs the sudocream that Cora had left on the mantelpiece from its place, everything else would be in the bathroom.
Edward has stopped screaming with is a start but he still whimpers softly, his little eyes creased with tears.
Entering the bathroom, Robert is rather overwhelmed by how Sybil seemed to emanate from every surface. It shouldn't be surprising he supposed when she was the sole user of the bathroom but it still took him by surprise. Tucked away in the corner is the changing mat and nappies of Edward. He lays him down and tickles his podgy tummy as he unfastens his little one piece.
The doctor had said he was growing very well considering his early delivery and was very happy with his weight.
"You're podgy aren't you Edward, um, just like your Dada." He gurgles softly, his tears slowing as Robert rubs the teddy bear over his nose.
Changing him was something Robert had panicked about when Cora had first handed him Edward a week after they were home and asked him to change him. But he'd found the knack of it easily enough, unlike Sybil, who was the last baby he had done this with Edward was far less of a fidget. The teddy bear falls from his tummy as he kicks his legs against Robert's grasp. Robert puts it back, Edward was able to move his head towards it but that was the extent of his ability and probably would be for another month if he remembered what the girls had done.
The doctor had been particularly pleased that Edward was able to hold his head up for a short amount of time and that his eyes were clearly following things, it put his development right where it was supposed to be.
Changing complete he lifts Edward back into his arms at which point he immediately screws up his face and whinges softly.
"No more crying Edward. We can't have you crying." He rocks him continuously as they descend the stairs, if he was going to cry again Robert would rather he didn't wake Cora.
Entering the cool living room, moonlight trying to peak its way between the curtains, Robert chooses to settle himself on the settee, first putting the television on one of those music channels in the hope it would sooth Edward.
The glow of the screen fills the room and Robert shifts so he faces away from it, looking at the wall opposite the television; family pictures, book and games strewn over the surface.
He lies back on the settee, resting his head on the arm rest, Edward stretched across his chest. He wafts the teddy about again but Edward's eyes were already closing to the gentle sways of classical music. The crescendoes changing instantaneously to soft timpani before sweeping back into a trumpet section.
Robert found it all rather stress free as well, which was what he needed after the last few months. Edward on his chest, moonlight trying to spy on them, Cora asleep upstairs, all was perfect. His eyes fall shut and he has to force them open, he couldn't risk falling asleep and Edward falling off of him.
He swings his legs of the settee, sitting up with Edward cradled once more across his chest. But the scrunch and wrinkle of the tiny nose told Robert that he much preferred the previous position.
"Almost as fussy as your Mama aren't you." He rearranges the cushions on the settee, laying two between the back of the sofa and himself. They were fluffy ones—Cora always said cushions should be homely and soft—he wriggles to the edge of the settee placing Edward on the cushions he'd laid down. Edward looks up at him, his eyes wide with wonder and then they close, Robert tracing his hands over his tummy as he seemed to like.
His own eyes shut for longer and longer periods as the violins and cellos fill his ears. His arm feasts awkwardly over the top of the arm of the chair, above his little Edward's head. A last line of protection.
"Shall I tell you what this is Edward? A camp out. Like a sleepover." He barely gets the words out, his eyes falling shut as his hand rises and falls on the tiny tummy as Edward breathes deeply.
He knows that some hours have passed when he opens his eyes to the light streaming in through the curtains, the calming music from what he thought was moments before no longer humming in the background.
He blinks his eyes against the brightness, he and Cora had thick curtains in their room for this very reason, and stretches out his arm. That's when his eyes fly open. Cushions. Definitely cushions but no Edward.
He looks to the floor first, nothing, before he jumps from the settee jarring his muscles, they clearly hadn't enjoyed the 'camp out.'
"Look Edward, I think Dada has woken up." That was Sybil, sat on the stool in the corner of the room, rubbing circles on Edward's back. Cora had clearly left Sybil to wind him while she sorted breakfast or something. She seemed to have developed a very good technique, supporting his head with her forearm and that same hand holding the little cloth Cora used to daub his mouth while the other hand rubs his back.
"You're very good at that."
"Well he's a very good brother to sit in his sister's lap, aren't you Edward." Robert just watches them, not quite feeling ready to try going up the stairs to change while his legs still protested at the very thought of it.
"Sybil, there's been something I've been meaning to speak to you about."
"Oh?" She stands up, repositioning Edward so his chin rests on her right shoulder, that hand protecting his head as the other rubs perfect circles.
"Mum said you've got a boyfriend."
"Is that a problem?"
"No. No, of course not. Just don't rush into anything. I know your sisters are older and no doubt they've told you things but it doesn't mean-"
"I know Dad. I'm fifteen. Legally too young and all that if my boyfriend is older. I'm not running off to get married. Chill." Her eyes roll just like her mother and he can't help but smile.
"Sorry. You're right, I know you are. Who is the lucky lad in question anyway, your mum never gave a name."
"Tom Branson, Timothy's son." Robert knows who he is alright. He had been a constant in the house for years, since he was little in fact. He was now sixteen, sitting his exams in the summer but to think he had come to Sybil's birthday party back in December, and slept over in this house had him sorting back through his mind to that initial conversation with Cora—when had she first mentioned this?
"How long have you been going out, or whatever it is you kids say these days?"
"Since before Christmas."
"So he was your boyfriend when he slept over for your birthday?"
"Yes but Dad-" He quietly leaves the room, in search of Cora. Not that he's calm inside. Oh no, his blood was racing for his heart and then into his face, reddening his ears and his cheeks. Fist closing with the stirring of adrenaline.
He wasn't angry with Sybil not really, but Cora had known about this for some while, she had said so when she'd finally told him a week ago which meant she'd let Tom sleep over, in Sybil's room no less when's he was underage.
"You're awake. I must say you and Edward looked rather...is something the matter Robert?"
"Tom Branson is the name you wouldn't tell me and added to that you allowed Sybil to have him sleepover in this house? In her room?" Her hands immediately fly to her waist, her eyebrows raised in what Robert knows full well is mock exasperation.
"She is fifteen. And you said it yourself. Tom. This is Tom, Robert, not some random boy. Besides I think it's cute." He growls internally, of course he should have known that his wife found first love all so sweet. So innocent and charming. Why he had no idea, maybe because her first love had been so wrong and dark—she wanted the fairy story to exist somewhere.
"I'm going to pretend the hormones are still confusing you because she is underage Cora. She is-"
"Our baby girl who we are going to have to let go of one day. And there is no way anything happened between them Robert. Don't blow everything out of control!" She half throws the bowl of cereal she has made herself onto the table in an angry huff as she falls down into the chair. He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, forcing himself to reassess his own boiling feelings. Maybe he was taking it too far, but he still sees Sybil as his baby even though he has another little one. "And as for hormones, I'm well aware we haven't had sex in months but there's not much I can do about it." She brushes passed him to the sink to fill the kettle, her teeth crunching at cereal.
"Cora, I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to say that."
"Yes, it was when you're the one ranting and raving like a child." She shoves the kettle on the at mad and flicks the switch. Her hand curls up over her eyes as his scratches at his head. She swivels slowly, leaning back against the work surface. "You knew what, let's not argue. We're both short of sleep and uptight. But Sybil is not your problem. We need to get Edith content, the doctor booked her in for counselling yesterday, he's not happy with her levels of depression."
"Why didn't you say?" It was true things with Edith's psychological state had been getting progressively worse. Clarkson had her down as borderline depressed on her last check up and had prescribed something he hoped might help. But clearly that wasn't the case.
"Edith didn't want me to and I feel responsible. With Edward I haven't been able to give the time she needed from me." Robert sees it before it happens. His arms are firmly around her waist before her he sniffs even once. Her forehead lands on his chest and she sobs softly.
"It's not your fault Cora."
"I know it's not. But, you know, timing is all wrong for Edith, what a surprise." She laughs a sad laugh and he kisses her head just as Sybil appears in the doorway holding Edward. Cora takes him and nods her head in Sybil's direction as she leaves the room with her head low.
He does as he's bade, when hadn't he in the last twenty five and a bit years? Following Sybil he catches up to her in the hall and grabs her hand. When she swivels to look at him he can't find the words he wants to say that match what she wants to hear so he just leans forward and plants a kiss on her forehead. She breathes a warm smile, which is all he needs to know he is forgiven.
It had to be drizzling. Today couldn't have been as sunny like the rest of the week. The only day she was truly going out for herself for an afternoon of gossip England had to be itself. It couldn't seem to put on its veil of disguise just for half an hour while she at least made it to the destination.
Driving in the city was something she tried to avoid, there was no use of it after all when the tube service went everywhere anyone might want to go. But, with a young baby and a pushchair, on her own, it really wasn't suitable. Far too many escalators and stairways, plus the pushchair was without fail an obstacle on the train. Whereas to drive was far easier, she only had I get to the office as it was, where she could park for free. Robert had offered her Branson and the company car a week ago but a meeting across the city had come up and Robert had received a great amount to stick in the past for arriving by tube or driving himself and she was well aware today's meeting involved Robert giving a speech about the establishment to a room of businessmen one of which he was hoping to join the team in Gary's position.
She pulls up in the car park just as Edward begins to whimper in the car seat beside her. She couldn't believe he was just over two months old, and certainly her body didn't feel like it was that long ago she'd had her operation.
Clarkson had finally given her the all clear to resume intercourse with Robert yesterday but she hadn't told him so yet. In truth she was far too worn out, and Edward had only just finished recovering from his cold and she had a lot of sleep to catch up on.
Added to that she'd been babysitting Marigold most of the last few days do that Edith could escape with her friends and days with the magazine. The doctor had said it would give her a better appreciation for Marigold when she was at home. Rosamund had been helping her that much was true, but two babies on a lack of sleep was tricky.
Throwing her coat on she braves the winter showers, pulling the new pushchair from the boot she is suddenly reminded that she'd never put the things up before and no doubt it was harder than Robert had made it look. It was a rather special pram as it came with one set of framework that could be made up into two pushchairs. One would allow Edward to lie on his back looking at her, the other was for when he was bigger, sat forwards, legs swinging.
She moves the small bag of supplies that she had filled for Edward—having not been a mother with a young baby in so long she had forgotten how much there was to cart about—and it was overflowing. She pulls the pram towards her and a small piece of paper falls from beneath onto the concrete that was doused in a fair amount of rainwater.
She lunges for it, having recognised a swirl of Robert's handwriting.
Flipping it over she finds a rather smudged diagram (due to the puddle) of the pushchair and a few bullet points in Robert's swirling hand of how to assemble it. She smiles to herself, it was just like him to foresee a situation she hadn't thought of until she's arrived at the destination.
His diagram and instructions are easy enough to follow, certainly easier than an instruction manual that took five minutes to find the English section. And it was signed with his swirly name and a kiss.
She wheels the pram around to the passenger door lifting Edward from his carrier. He squirms and cries as the rains hits his face, his nose and eyes crinkling up. She loads him into the soft bedding, his muslim and test bear following. He quietens as she strokes his cheek softly.
"There's a good boy. And you've got to be good because we are going to meet Phyllis and if you're naughty she won't want to be your god mummy anymore will she?" He lifts his head, and turns it the way he thinks his teddy has fallen. Cora never thought much about what he was doing and whether the girls had reached similar milestones at the right times what she odd knew was Edward was doing excessively well. She could still remember the little milestones charts she had when Mary had been born, checking almost daily that nothing Mary was or wasn't doing was cause for concern and indeed she knew that a baby should be able to life their head for short moments during their second month—she had committed that one to memory when Sybil had shown an inability to do it.
The cafe was a little French patisserie two streets from the establishment. It was hidden down a little alley but she and Robert had frequented it for lunch back when they'd dated in the beginning. It was an easy, private way to spend time together out of the office without having to hurtle across London. She'd given the directions to Phyllis a month ago and she had since visited a few times and agreed it was beautiful.
Cora did have a horrid feeling that this meeting was going to be more than just another little outing for Phyllis and her to become closer and discuss the christening. Something about the way she had kept at the plan suggested she had some news to share as well.
Cora finds herself slipping through the door to the chime of the bell at exactly half past one, which pleases her no end as one thing she hated was people being late. Looking up to the bright eyes of the waitress, Daisy, she spies Phyllis already craning her neck around from the window seat.
"Mrs Crawley, how lovely to see you it's been a while." Daisy was the daughter of the couple who had run the cafe for as long as Cora had been visiting, she had practically watched this girl grow up and take on the responsibility.
"Yes. Well, lots has been happening."
"Of course." She peers over it look at Edward. "Congratulations. And if it's not impertinent to say so I think he should be rather pleased he got his mother's looks." Phyllis laughs from the corner.
Finally finding herself seated Cora breathes a sigh of relief while Phyllis' fingers dance immediately over Edward's cheek. It's then that Cora spots it, the little diamond glistening softly in the dim light of the afternoon.
"Oh my Phyllis, has he proposed?" She look up suddenly, a warm smile spreading over her face. She only nods and Cora takes her hand, admiring the cut of the beautiful stone. "Oh that's such lovely news. When are you thinking of having the wedding?"
"This summer. July probably. But I wanted to talk to you. I was wondering if you might help me organise it. And I've found this place in Yorkshire just a village or two away from where Joe grew up in Locksley. He says he'd visited the place a few times so I looked it up and they do weddings." Cora feels herself closing her eyes and raising her eyebrows. She doesn't need the next few words, of the print out Phyllis pulls from her pocket to knew the destination in question is Downton. "But I thought you would know, managing one yourself, if big places like this do small weddings. Like really small weddings." Cora can't resist biting her lips as she hides her giggles.
"I know a little about this particular place as it happens. And I'm confident they will do a small event."
"Really?"
"Yes. Better still I can give you the telephone number of the gentleman you need to contact." She reaches for a phone, Phyllis still seemingly oblivious. "Tell me how much detail did you take in when you visited the website?"
"This and that, an Earl and Countess like yourself own it."
"So you didn't visit the shop part when you can purchase a book on the house?"
"No, why do you ask?"
"The book you'd have found would have had this picture on the front." She turns her phone to face Phyllis. A picture of Downton full on the screen. Her and Robert stood in the foreground. Phyllis rubs her hands over her eyes, shaking her head with embarrassment.
"How on earth did I not realise. I mean-"
"Robert and I don't exclaim over it. The Abbey is like a second home to us. We adore it. But it has to be profitable so we open it and do the weddings and things. And the title we have we try our very best to bury hence you didn't notice it was the same one." Their sandwiches and coffee appear and Edward starts murmuring from his seat. Phyllis takes the opportunity to play with him and his teddy and he wiggles his toes and follows the bear with his eyes. They discuss the christening and Phyllis stands by her word to be a godmother. Cora knows she can get on with the preparations now that Phyllis had agreed, there was always so much to do, even for that simple occasion and if she had a wedding to help with, one at Downton none the less, she had yet more on her plate. Carson always sent through forms, cheques and details of all upcoming weddings for her to sort through and verify anyway. She and Robert were even occasionally asked to attend them by people who seemed to know far too much about their lives or had visited the house a lot as young children and thus felt the Earl and Countess were a part of their life.
"There was something else Cora, if you don't mind." She lifts Edward from playful slummer to sit on her lap. Holding his hands she bounces him on her lap.
"Of course not." She kisses the top of Edward's head as he bobs. She keeps her eyes away from Phyllis' sensing the tone of voice she'd heard her use at the house when she'd said she could have no children. It seemed as though this might be to do with that again.
"Only Robert thought you might be interested in helping me with my trust. I happened across some information on the Internet a while ago. And I believe we share a somewhat similar past. When I said I couldn't have children it was because I was attacked in my early twenties." Edward stops bouncing and he falls back against her tummy as he lets go of him, a short gasp rushing through her lips. She finds Phyllis' soft eyes. The gaze that looked so sweetly at her son. The woman who seemed to love him despite the fact there was no reason for her to love him.
"You're right that I am...I was. But I don't remember, I don't know if Robert said-"
"He said nothing. He didn't want to tell without your permission." Cora would not be too busy at any other time, with any other person, to smile over the sensible nature of her husband and how respectful he is but at this moment all she can think about is how the woman before her has had the ability of conceiving her own children taken from her. A woman who clearly so wanted children and would clearly be an excellent mother.
"Phyllis. I don't know what, I mean, my experience was bad enough but-"
"I'm not a victim Cora. I was once but I've got past that. I run a charity group in London, we tour schools talking about our experiences and offering help to those who need it. I want to expand. Have representatives travelling across the country. I want you to join me. A different experience is valued and as I pointed out to Robert-"
"My title and connections help." She nods meekly. But Cora was thinking about everything. She'd been craving a purpose for a while now, this seemed like the perfect deal.
"You don't have to-" Cora flips out of the way she is staring, like a dazed animal across the cafe.
"That wasn't what I was thinking about. I will help. I'll do the talks and be patroness. But I also know someone else who will willingly patron. Someone far more in the limelight who could add real force to a really important issue." Phyllis grins from ear to ear and even goes to the trouble of squeezing her arm. Cora smiles but taps her nose when Phyllis asks who—Cora knew with all the conversations and letters that would will have to be written and signed the lady she had in mind was a good six months away from giving the all clear, if she even wanted to.
Cora spies her coffee still steaming in the mug, her salad looking a little limp on her plate so she leans over Edward.
"Why don't you sit on Phyllis while mama has some food?" She passes him over and Phyllis rests him slightly more traditionally in the crook of her elbow leaving one hand free. "Now, we need to get back to the important topic of the day. Which is how Joe proposed and what dresses and things you're thinking about."
Phyllis laughs bouncing Edward on her knee. Cooing softly at him. He gurgles back as she pulls some funny faces and Cora finds herself welling up. She closes her eyes to try and dissipate the tears; lifting the steaming mug of coffee to her mouth to hide the begins of them. This was what the lady she had in mind for patron needed to see. She needed to see Phyllis had a backbone made of steel. She could stand up from one of biggest crimes on earth, tarnished for the rest of her life, and still be desperate for the greater good.
"Phyllis." She cuts her of halfway through her description of the dinner out and something or other. "I want you to come with me, to meet the lady I have in mind for patron."
"I will if you tell me whom."
"Her Royal Highness the Countess of Wessex.* Her husband, Prince Edward is a friend of Robert's." Phyllis takes her eyebrows and shakes her head. "You can't back down now. You said you'd come if I said whom, I've told you whom and now you're coming. They're due for a trip to visit Edward anyway so it shouldn't be too hard. Now back to the proposal." Phyllis continues shaking her head but Cora lifts the cream bum she'd ordered for dessert to her mouth, grinning widely. Edward, Phyllis. A possible 'job' for the next few months. A wedding and a christening. It was looking up in the world.
*The Countess of Wessex is another lady of the world whom I rather admire. For those of you not so familiar with the British Royal family she is the wife of the Queen's youngest son, Edward and in my opinion gets very little credit for doing an awful lot! Edward is a similar age to Robert in this story so I thought it believable they might have gone to school together and would very likely know each other due to Robert's standing in business and society in this story. Neither of the Royal couple will actaully make an appearance in this story—they are real people and one can never do a real person credit but Sophie may well be mentioned a few more times as this plot develops.
Thanks for all the reviews this week! Following my disclosure that there was only going to be 26 chapters last week I now have 31 planned and I think I might be taking it to at least 35! Credit for my sudden brainwaves has to go to zaibi12 and granthamfan who both offered me support in very different ways this week!