Chapter Twenty-One: Insanity
Continuing training like Harry want to didn't go just as he had hoped it would though since he didn't have the added help from Dobby that he had in his past run through life. He was also lacking a trainer like he wanted and had when Tonks was helping him learn. The one advantage Harry found from having his memory warehouse was that his mind was photographic in a way that once he read something he could store it away in his warehouse and access the whole thing just as if he was looking at the page right in front of him. So while he waited for the goblins to finish warding his island home he reread all his first year books to ensure that he had an exact copy of them in his mind warehouse that he could access and recite any page from memory word for word. He also used that time to start his physical training as he didn't want to stay the way he currently was, a malnourished waste of a kid, and so he ate right and worked out the best he could daily.
Once the goblins were done warding his island Harry was free to start practicing with his wand, but he still found that his training was lacking and though he was getting better using the wand there was still a lot more that he could be learning if he could properly get trained. Harry even went to Diagon Alley to purchase all the school books he could that he would need for all his years at Hogwarts, so that he could secure them into his memory warehouse as well for instant recall. He spent a bit of time practicing spells from those books as well, but he found that it was all redundant as he already knew all there was to learn at Hogwarts.
"This is insane" Harry said to himself as he walked along his beautiful shoreline alone "redoing all seven years at Hogwarts is pointless!"
To say the time he spent alone on the island was taking a toll on him would have been an understatement, but he knew he was right. What was the point in learning all he already knew when there was so much more that he could have been learning? The more time Harry spent alone on the island the more he finished he had someone to talk to about his situation. He would have loved to been spending his time with Tonks and Hermione at least then he could talk to them about it, but he knew he couldn't risk Dumbledore finding out about him. Though the more he thought about it the more he wanted to tell someone.
The days went by through August and he was slowly shaping his body into something better than what he had the other times around, and his mind was as sharp as a tact with his incredible memory skills. He even got a book on Occlumency to aid him in bettering his skills with it, so that his mind would be fully protected from the likes of Severus Snape and Albus "know it all" Dumbledore.
Harry practiced his Occlumency every day while he was on the island to build up his protections around his memory warehouse to ensure that no one would be able to gain access without his permission. He even devised a nice alternate way of protecting it in that he made a fake little shack like the shrieking shack outside the warehouse, which he concealed the warehouse so all anyone who entered would see was the shabby old shack. The idea behind it was that if he allowed them access to it then people would think that he didn't have a well protected mind and that they would also be able to have easy access to the memories contained within it. Which was true in that they could access the memories there since Harry placed a copy of mundane memories there as well as a few copies of old memories of the time he did actually spend his summer with the Dursleys prior to going to Hogwarts for the first time. That way it would appear that he had done just that instead of having spent the month preparing for a war only he truly knew was coming.
Along with his mental training he kept up his physical training as well, but he wanted to also work on his weapon training. Sure he had learned well how to use a rifle and a hand gun but he missed how they felt when he had them near him.
He changed his skeletal structure to appear taller so that he could look old enough to get the weapons he wanted. The problem he found was that while changing it was a pain in more ways than one also moving that way was a bigger hassle.
As Harry went to practice walking around his kitchen in his new form he constantly kept tripping over himself and found that he was extremely clumsy. "Damn it" he cussed as he fell for the tenth time "why is it so bloody hard to maneuver in this body?"
After spending some time in his memory warehouse a memory of his training with Tonks came to into focus and the thought of her made him long for her more. Sure his eleven year old self didn't think of women like that, but he wasn't eleven and found that his heart and mind demanded that he get her and Hermione as he loved them both greatly.
"Harry" Tonks said as she looked into his now sky blue eyes "cosmetic changes like your eyes, hair, and basic features are simple enough to change. The problems begin when you change your skeletal structure or your overall mass."
"How's that" Harry asked as he changed his hair color to match he now purple hair.
She laughed at his antics with his hair as she continued "when you change your skeleton or your mass to something you are not use to you will find that it is harder to control and that you will become clumsier than you normally would. Small changes aren't too bad, but if you try to change majorly then things get a lot more complicated and also it is harder to hold the unknown form."
"So no changing into a seven foot tall basketball player then I suppose" Harry said with a laugh as he looked into her violet eyes before changing his to match.
Upon his realization of what he was doing wrong he started to morph his body into what it was like when he was seventeen, when he finished he did look exactly like he did in his seventh year at Hogwarts his first time around through his timelines. He found that he had no problems maneuvering in the form as it was his original form at one point and he already had full memories of how it felt to appear that way. All he had to was morph his facial features to appear a tad older and also he found that while he couldn't remove the curse scar altogether, he could relocate it to a spot that no one could readily see without him being completely naked. This was great since he knew the scar would have been a dead giveaway about who he was to any magical person, though he wasn't too concerned with them since he was headed instead to muggle London to acquire his weapons.
After he conjured the same paperwork that he had the last time around he went to get his guns and again had to wait the week to get through the process, but he didn't care as soon he would be ready to continue his training, which was exactly what he had wanted.
That was how Harry spent the rest of August leading up to the start of school, he worked a bit on his mental training, his physical training, magical practice, and his practice at using muggle weapons. By time he was ready to go to Hogwarts he was nothing like he had been the first times through, in fact he wasn't even sure why he wanted to attend seeing as he already knew everything there was there to learn from the school.
He showed up at Kings Cross station an hour before anyone really needed to be there because he didn't really feel like having the same experience that he did the first times around. He didn't need to encounter the traitorous Weasleys this time, though he had to admit that he didn't have a problem with Fred and George, but he couldn't stand Percy, Ron, or an extent Ginny after he learned that the family conspired with Dumbledore to get him to marry her.
Harry secured himself away in the back compartment on the train after securing all his belongings then sat down with a book about offensive magic to read on his ride to the school. It would be considered way to advanced for a normal first year to be reading, but then Harry wasn't a normal first year student.
Just before the train was ready to leave the station the door to the compartment slide open and one of the women that Harry could only dream about walked in with her bubblegum pink hair spiky as usual.
"Sorry" she said as she saw she disturbed Harry's reading "but would you mind if I sat in here, the rest of the train is full and I usually hide out back here away from everyone?"
"Not at all" Harry said as he marked his page and sat the book down and felt a bit funny about playing dumb but he knew it was for the best. "I'm Harry Potter and you would be?"
"Nymphadora Tonks, but please just call me Tonks" she said with a grin "I really hate my first name."
"Nice to meet you Tonks" Harry said with a charming smile as he picked up his book once more to continue reading.
"No offense, but isn't that book a bit advanced for a first year?"
"Yeah" Harry said again with a grin "probably even beyond seventh too."
Tonks just grinned as she figured he said it just to get back at her for her comment, but she knew he was right it was well beyond anything Hogwarts students would be needing to know while in school. "I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised that you're reading it though" she said with a half way grin.
"Why's that" Harry asked a bit curious though he figured it probably had something to do with his boy who lived stories, even though Tonks never struck him as the fan girl type in all the times he had known her.
"Because you have always been doing things that shouldn't be possible for someone your age."
"If you're talking about you know who" Harry said trying to not scare her off too quickly "then I know nothing about what happened or how he was defeated."
Tonks was a bit shocked by the statement and then had an expression of more kindness "I wasn't talking about that Harry, see my mom and your mom were good friends in school."
Harry was a bit shocked now since Tonks never once told him before about her mom knowing his mom, though he doubted that many older people didn't know his parents, which hurt a bit since he never got the privilege to know them.
"Sorry" Tonks said as she saw his hurt expression as he thought about his mom.
"For what" Harry asked unsure why she would be apologizing.
"For bringing up your parent like that" Tonks said in a sad tone "I lost my dad, so I know it hurts to lose someone like that, but to not even really remember then has to be a lot worse."
"Yeah it is, but I am sure you had a point to saying it since you were explaining your earlier comment."
"Oh yeah I did" Tonks said as she smiled again making Harry smile too. "I was six almost seven and my mom took me over to your parents' house while she went to talk to your mom. You were about one at the time and I went into your room while your dad was trying to lay you down for a nap. He had just taken a toy dragon off of you and was about to set it on the dresser, and you were throwing a fit wanting it back. He told you no because it was nap time, and just as he turned the toy dragon seemed to come to life. It blew fire out of its mouth and lit your dad's hair on fire and as he was trying to put it out you were laughing. Then you levitated the toy over to you, sat down, and continued to play with it like nothing had even happened."
"No way, you got to be making that up" Harry said with a half way grin thinking about a one year old doing way advanced magic for his age.
"Nope, I swear to Merlin its true" Tonks said with a grin "that's something I will never forget, because you looked so cute playing with that dragon while your dad was fussing with his flaming hair, so tell me you still like dragons?"
Harry thought about his experience with dragons and wasn't too sure how he felt about them, though deep down he did seem to find that they were interesting. "They are an interesting creature I'll give them that much, how about you, you like them?"
"Sure" Tonks said as her hair changed purple "especially the violet Romanian that is a dragon that is magnificent to look at."
They spent the rest of the train ride talking about random things and the whole time Harry couldn't stop thinking about the time he had spent with Tonks on his island and how much he loved her. He still loved Hermione as well, but being there with Tonks in that compartment he knew he had to find a way to get her back, but he still couldn't figure out a way to tell her anything without fear of Dumbledore finding out about his looping in time.
Harry had to once again say goodbye to the woman he loved and was once again forced to be sorted like he had before as his start of term began. He didn't like the idea of school any more now than he did when he got on the train hours before, but he did like that he at least got to spend some time with Tonks, even if he could truly be with her like he wanted to.
Once again as he lay on his bed in Gryffindor tower he thought about the sorting hat and all that it had to say to him.
'Most impressive' the hat said as it looked around Harry's mind 'you are no mere first year Mr. Potter.'
'No' Harry thought in reply 'you could say that again.'
'How is it someone as young as you has so impressive of shielding when normal adult wizards don't even have this kind of security?'
'Like ya said I am no normal firsty.'
'I sense a great deal of power in you Mr. Potter the likes of which I haven't seen since the founders themselves.'
'Bull' Harry thought back 'Dumbledore and Riddle have more power than I do.'
'Knowledge and experience maybe, but not pure power Mr. Potter' the hat said as it scanned the contents of the small shack. 'Though I can tell from the shack all I would need to know, I also know that you have concealed your other memories inside a protected warehouse, what can you be hiding in there?'
Harry grinned to himself 'you swear not to reveal anything you learn to Dumbledore?'
'I am sworn to keep what I find secret from all, so yes I swear he will learn nothing of what you hide.'
Harry grinned again as he revealed his warehouse and allowed the hat to have access to all of it for he had to share his secrets with someone even if it was just the simple sorting hat.
'Wow this is impressive Mr. Potter' the hat said as it examined all inside 'question though is how do you remain sane? All that you have done and have done to you would cause a normal wizard to go completely insane.'
'That is a good question' Harry mused as he had wondered that too 'I guess it is my belief in the light and good of people that helps me.'
'I see' the hat said and then took on an unfamiliar stern tone 'the light and good people are only half of what makes this world whole and light alone will not be enough for you to defeat Voldemort or bring an end to your endless time loop.'
'You know about that, how do I stop it?'
'That is for you to uncover and yes I know all about it, but I will tell you this the knowledge you seek will not be found within these walls. You will need to see beyond the light and seek out the knowledge and experience that you need before it can end. Now on to the house you shall be in, since I doubt you will be here long I will once again put you in Gryffindor!'
'What did the hat mean by I wouldn't be here long' Harry mused as he reviewed what the hat had told him and the coldness of the tone that was used in the end.
Harry figured out what the hat meant later that night in that he need to find a way to escape the school and seek learning outside it, but he didn't know how he would pull that off. Then as if Hogwarts herself wanted him to know the answer a book appeared on his bed before him that outlined all the laws and bylaws of the school. The book opened to a page and as Harry read it he knew that it was his only way of escape, but he also knew that Dumbledore would never allow it to happen.
The next morning Harry awoke early so he could shower and prepare for his meeting he decided to have with Dumbledore. As the others in his dorm slept Harry happily pulled his pistol out of his trunk from its hidden spot, and smiled brightly glad that he had packed it as he knew he would be needing it sooner than later. An eerie glint shined in his emerald eyes like the twinkle that appeared in Dumbledore's, and he knew that no matter what happened this day would be fun.
He went down to breakfast once he was sure he had hidden his pistol in its holster below his robes and stopped by the head table to speak with Dumbledore.
"Headmaster" Harry said in a timid first year tone "may I have a private meeting with you?"
Dumbledore smiled as he thought 'already Harry asks for my guidance, this is a promising start as I want him to look to me for guidance as I mold him into a finely tuned weapon' "Sure Mr. Potter can it wait until after breakfast?"
"Of course headmaster" Harry said with a smile "whenever you have a free moment will be fine."
"Then I will see you in my office following breakfast Mr. Potter" Dumbledore said with a kind smile, while inside he was bursting with pride at how well his plans were shaping up to be 'maybe putting him with those abusive muggles was a good choice in the end, as he does seem to need me sooner than I could have hoped for.'
Harry went to eat breakfast with a hidden smile as he knew that soon he would confront the one person that was solely responsible for all the hell he suffered that wasn't named Voldemort. Sure old Voldy was evil and was responsible for a lot of hardships that Harry faced, but deep down he knew that Dumbledore was just as much at fault if not even more so. At least Voldemort killed people he targeted as enemies, while Dumbledore used them and those around them to torture and break the will of his victims.
Harry made his way to Dumbledore's office following breakfast and made his way in while Dumbledore say down at his desk. "So Mr. Potter what is it that is troubling you this fine day?"
'You' was the thought that came to mind, but Harry didn't say it out loud since he had other plans. "Well sir it is simple, I don't belong at this school."
Dumbledore misunderstood the meaning behind the statement as he looked at Harry and smiled. "I assure you Mr. Potter you deserve to be here, you are a wizard after all and though you may not yet know it you will probably be a great one at that."
"You misunderstand me sir" Harry said as he stood up "I don't belong here because frankly there isn't a damn thing I can learn here that I don't already know."
Dumbledore was floored by the arrogance of the boy before him and had not expected such from him. "I assure you Mr. Potter that you do not know all there is not know, and you will learn a great deal within the walls of this fine institution."
"That's where you are wrong Albus, can I call ya Albus" Harry said with a smirk "even the sorting hat told me that I couldn't learn in this school, so according to the sixth bylaw of the six charter in the regulations of this school I humbly ask that you allow me to test out of here at once."
"First off" Dumbledore said clearly becoming enraged "it is headmaster or sir, and secondly I will not allow you, a mere first year, to dictate the regulations to me, and furthermore I will not allow you to leave this school until you have finished your seventh year."
"Ah I had hoped you would say that" Harry said with a grin as he slide his wand into his hand behind his back and cast a quiet silencing charm on the room so no one in the castle would hear a thing.
"Mr. Potter" Dumbledore said sternly "you will now go to your classes like a good kid you should be or I will make you go to them."
"I don't think so Albus" Harry said with a smirk to irritate the headmaster more as he started to go for his pistol.
Dumbledore believed that Harry was going for his wand and quickly pulled his out "that wouldn't be advised Mr. Potter."
Harry stared at the Elder Wand and smiled as he drew his pistol and fire hitting Dumbledore's wand arm thus making him drop the wand, which Harry then summoned to himself with a silent summoning charm. "I think it would be wise for you to take a seat Albus as we have just begun our conversation and it wouldn't do well for you to bleed out before it was finished."
Harry felt the power of the Elder Wand in his hand, and while his means to his arm (pardon the pun) Dumbledore hadn't been the way one normally would in a duel the fact remained that he was now the rightful master of the Elder Wand.
He aimed the wand at Dumbledore's injured wand arm and cast a light healing charm, as he wasn't too versed in many healing spells, so that the bleeding would stop. He truly didn't want the headmaster to bleed out while they had yet to have their conversation.
Dumbledore sat down in shock as he didn't expect any of this from a first year let alone Harry Potter the boy who lived "Harry please we can work this out" he stammered trying to calm the boy before him as he was still pointing the muggle device and the Elder Wand at him.
"At one time I would have considered you a grandfather figure in my life, a mentor that was wiser and far greater than I would have ever hoped to be" Harry said as a single tear rolled down his face. "At one time I would have even considered you a great friend, but now all I see is an old fool hell bent on making my life a living hell. Sure Voldemort killed my parents, but you sir have done far worse than that to me."
"Harry please forgive me for whatever it is I have done" Dumbledore said in his best polite grandfather tone that he could "I can help you Harry, but you have to give me a chance to do it."
"I did give you a chance" Harry spat as he pointed the gun at him in his steady hand "what you fail to realize is that all this has been done before. I have lived this life a few times now and all you ever have done is cause me pain, endless pain for the sole purpose of controlling and using me, but this time around I won't allow it. This time around your services will no longer be required because as of now I am the judge, jury and executioner and frankly Albus Dumbledore you have been found guilty."
"Harry please I don't know what you're talking about" Dumbledore pleaded as he wondered why no one was coming to his aid after the loud bang from the muggle device.
"Alas it is with a heavy heart that I am unable to explain the degrees of manipulation you have pulled and all the ill you have done to me, but I assure you that it all will end here and now."
Dumbledore was shocked by the statements he heard and therefore didn't even think about using wandless magic to try and get his wand back.
Harry flicked the wand and summoned the papers he needed to test of the school and lowered them down in front of Dumbledore "you will sign these papers for me to test out of this school now."
"Never" Dumbledore said as he stared at the boy and wondered how he could perform the magic he was when he thought the boy didn't know anything of the magical world.
"That's too bad sir, for you that is, as I said before your services will no longer be needed, and as such I am hereby terminating you as headmaster of this school" Harry said as he pulled the trigger.
As if in slow motion the bullet left the gun and struck a very shocked Dumbledore right between the eyes splattering his brain matter all over the back wall behind him. It had ended his life as quickly as the killing curse would have, only a lot more mess was involved than what would have been from using the killing curse.
Harry's eyes widened as he now knew that McGonagall would no doubt feel the loss of the headmaster as she would become the headmistress of the school. The problem now was what he was going to do since Dumbledore was dead, there was a mess in the office, and he was effectively stuck there holding the smoking gun.
"Oh damn" was all he could say as he looked at the mess before him.