21
~ The Best of Both Worlds ~
It was going to be a busy day in the Gold and Hopper households. First, little Adriana would have her christening. Almost the entire town wanted to be there for the blessed event. She would wear the beautiful gown her father originally made for Regina and Archie and Marie would stand as godparents for their niece. They were bringing a guest of their own, Mary Poppins herself. The nanny would work for both families but she would spend the first month or so with the Hoppers as Archie and Marie were taking Gisella and Pongo with them on their trip.
Mary had already been working in the Hopper household in the three weeks prior to the wedding but she was nervous about meeting the Golds, especially Rumple whom she feared would have issues with how she cleaned.
It wasn't that she couldn't clean properly but she read how people with OCD could sometimes be...difficult to handle.
Most people would think it would be Baelfire she was nervous about, him being a teenager and a former gang member but he'd changed since the curse was broken and he was no longer in the gang.
"Mary, I'm sure it will be fine. Rumple's not as difficult as everyone says," Archie said soothingly.
"I hope so...and I would like to ask him to give me a bit of a mage's refresher course. I'm somewhat out of practice."
Since she was a nurture mage, her powers were more directed at caring for her charges than anything else but when the curse struck she was working as a janitor in the town hall. Once the curse broke she wanted to work with a family again and was pleased when Doctor Hopper asked her if she would be interested in working for him and his then fiancée. Now she was hoping the Golds would accept her offer to work for them as well.
The family would depart for Greece after the christening ceremony and Marie was under orders from her sister to update them on how the trip was going either through their Facebook or their phones. Rumple was going to cast several spells before they left, one for protection and another called the magician's eyes and ears...giving them all the ability to speak and read the language of any country they were in.
Now that the baby was born, Rumple's powers were returning to full strength and he no longer had to worry about tiring himself out with even a simple spell. However, he WAS having to cope with post-partum symptoms along with Belle and there were rumors flying around that the Concerned Men of Storybrooke were plotting another intervention.
He would be ready for them this time having at last discovered something that counteracted the dreaded squid ink.
It was Elmira Gulch who provided him with the answer. She brought her new dog Precious over to meet Rumple the day she adopted him and while they were talking, he mentioned being neutralized with the squid ink.
"Where was your olive oil?" she asked.
"Olive oil? Why would I need that?"
The former witch grinned. "Because, my pretty, THAT is the only thing that can counteract the squid ink and it is only found in this land. I found that out doing one of my experiments."
Though she didn't use her powers any longer Elmira still experimented with potions and simple spells to see how they worked in this land.
Rumple smirked. "And I have PLENTY of it."
"Just takes a drop dear. Put it on your skin, anywhere will do and if someone attacks you with the ink, they'll need to run because it won't work."
"If I use extra virgin olive oil...what will that do...anything?"
Elmira cackled. "The same but...knowing you...it has to be the finest quality."
"Of course."
Now Rumple made certain he had a drop of olive oil on his neck every day because it was just a matter of time before the motley crew of stupid made their move.
He was hoping it wasn't today, the day of his daughter's christening because unlike the Godfather, the Rumfather did NOT do favors on special days. You interrupted a special day with his family and you would be hanging by your underwear from a flagpole or become a ceiling fan.
When he walked into his daughter's nursery Belle already had Adriana dressed in her christening gown with a white silk bow around her head.
"There's Papa, sweetheart," Belle said softly. The baby smiled and held out her arms to him.
"There's my precious girl," Rumple crooned, picking her up and cradling her against him. "Are you ready for your big day?"
Adriana cooed and grabbed his nose.
"Oh no...she has my nose again...Belle, have you seen my nose?"
"No, darling I haven't," his wife chuckled.
He walked around the room still holding his daughter in one arm. "Did she put it in here?" He opened a music box on the little girl's dresser and a ballerina danced as Twinkle Twinkle Little Star played.
"No, no...not here...maybe here?" He opened the toy box. The bears on the shelf above it were laughing and clapping.
The baby patted his nose. "Ahhh, there it is..."
Unbeknownst to him, Belle snapped another picture to add to her scrapbook.
"I think...someone's tummy needs a tickling..." she murmured.
"Uh oh...here comes Mommy..."
Belle took her daughter from her husband's arms and set her down in the crib, blowing raspberries on her tummy. Several bears fell off the shelf as they laughed hysterically.
"It's okay my little snippet, Papa will take care of this..."
He crept up behind his wife and pulled her down to the floor. "Rumple don't you...oh my God you are going to make me pee myself...stop that!" Belle was laughing as she found herself the victim of the raspberry raid as they called it.
Bae, who was going down the hall to the bathroom, heard his mother laughing and went into the nursery to see what was going on. Adriana was in her crib cooing and clapping while her father had Belle on the floor blowing raspberries on her belly.
"Bae...make him stop before he makes me pee!" she pleaded.
Bae picked up his sister. "Riana...we have the strangest parents but we love them, right?"
She cooed.
The couple got back on their feet and straightened their clothes. They heard a car door close outside and Major barking.
"That has to be Papa," Belle said.
"Major, sit," Rumple commanded the dog once they got downstairs and opened the door. "Hi, Moe."
"Hello Rum...now where are those grandkids of mine?"
"Right here," Bae said and hugged him then handed him Adriana.
Moe sat down on the sofa and held his granddaughter in his arms, thankful every day that Belle at last had the child she'd always wanted.
A few minutes later the Hoppers arrived. Archie introduced Mary to the Golds.
"I...would like to offer my services to your family as well...if that's all right with you," the nanny said nervously.
"That would be wonderful, Mary, especially when my maternity leave is over," Belle said softly.
"You can work out a schedule with Rumple and Belle and we'll stick with the one you already have." Archie said. "She doesn't work weekends though."
"Well everyone deserves a day off, dearie and weekends are family time for all of us." Rumple smiled at the nurture mage. "And despite what you've heard from gossips Mary, I'm not that difficult to get along with."
"That's good sir. I was also going to ask if you would consider helping me brush up on my magic."
"Not at all. And speaking of that..."
Rumple waved his hand in front of Archie and Marie and the cricket and rose diamonds in their wedding rings began to glow as did the eyes of the golden cricket on Gisella's bracelet and the bone charm on Pongo's collar. "There are three protections in this spell...the first is that if anyone tries to attack you...they'll find themselves on their asses faster than they can blink. The second is if you get lost or separated, your rings, Sella's bracelet, and Pongo's collar will guide you back to each other by glowing brighter the closer you get to each other. The third summons me if any of these happen so I can help you if need be."
"Thank you, Rumple," Archie said softly.
"You're going to be in another country, in a land we still don't know everything about...and you're family so I'm not taking chances."
He waved his hand again. "This spell is called the magician's eye and ear...no matter where you go you'll be able to read and speak the language like a native."
"Even me?" asked Gisella.
"Even you, dearie," Rumple winked at his niece.
"Neat!"
"Well, we'd better head over to the chapel before the minister cancels on us," Rumple quipped.
Moe drove the Golds to the chapel while the Hoppers took their own vehicle which was already packed since their flight was due to leave an hour after the christening was over.
When they pulled into the chapel parking lot the proud parents were stunned by the large crowd waiting for them.
"Holy crap, Papa...this a christening or a Hollywood premiere?" Bae asked.
Rumple stared at all the people. He had never expected this. Oh he'd sent invitations out to several people and expected close friends and so forth, but not almost the whole town!
"It's as if she's their baby too..." Belle whispered.
"Or a symbol of something greater," Rumple added, getting out of the car.
"There she is...!" exclaimed Snow coming forward with David.
Snow snapped a picture of the baby in her little gown and the child wasn't in the least bit frightened by the attention...she seemed to like it.
"Yep...we got Miss Hollywood here," Bae joked.
Andi came up and kissed him on the cheek. "And her big brother . . .the hero of Storybrooke Prep." She was referring to the incident at the dance when she and Bae had saved two little children from a fire by climbing out the second story window with them on their backs. They had been written up in the Mirror as heroes and even gone on the local TV after a week or so to do an interview about that situation. And their selfless actions had forever changed the way the citizens of Storybrooke viewed the former Scorpions.
"Awww..." Bae was blushing.
Adriana reached out for her brother's hand as if to declare. "Yep, that's my big brother...a hero!"
Andi grinned at Adriana and said, "Hey sweetling! You're like the town celebrity today. Which is only fitting, since you're the first true love baby born in Storybrooke since the curse broke."
Adriana burbled and waved her hand at Andi.
"She looks beautiful, Rumple," Regina said softly from where she stood with Roland, Robin, and Jason. The former queen's relationship with the former outlaw was going well...they'd already been out on a dozen dates but the boys wanted them to hurry up and get married so they could be brothers.
Gisella winked at her scheming companion, pleased by the progress of Mission: Replace Bad Daddy and Mommy.
"Here comes Mr. and Mrs. Gold and Rumplette!" cheered all the former Scorpions as the couple and the baby passed them, clapping loudly.
"Now I feel like we're at a royal ball!" Belle giggled.
"I feel like we should be waving or something as we go up a red carpet, dearie."
It seemed that everyone wanted a picture of the baby and her parents. Everywhere they looked a cell phone or a digital camera snapped a picture.
Luckily Adriana seemed perfectly content to be photographed and smiled at and didn't cry or become nervous.
As they passed two members of the Furious Women of Storybrooke, the ladies were blushing.
"Oh my is it me or does Mr. Gold look extra handsome today?"
"He looks like he just stepped off the cover of GQ . . .only better than all those models."
"That suit fits him to a T! Just lovely!" sighed another.
"Now why can't I find a man like that...?"
"Because all the good ones are taken, dead, or gay."
"Sure you don't want to wave, darling?" Belle teased.
"Oh my God...he looked at me...Andrea, did you see that...?"
Behind them Marie snickered.
"Oh, stop!" Archie admonished gently.
"I can't help it...they're acting like he's a celebrity..." Marie chuckled.
"On second thought darling, you wave and we may have to call Amed..." Belle teased her spouse.
"I think I'd better keep my eyes straight ahead, so I don't cause a sensation."
"You mean an incident," Bae laughed. "The Gold Whammy! Woman Passes Out After Gold Stares At Her From Sudden Palpatations."
Now Archie was laughing.
"I think I wouldn't mind having both of them...that suit sets off Doctor Hopper's eyes perfectly."
Now Marie wanted a broom.
Belle giggled.
"Mine..." she said through gritted teeth.
"Well...Rumple...maybe they'll leave you alone a bit now...but I think my sister is ready to to play Broom Baseball…"
"No one would dare to make advances towards us, Belle. They know it wouldn't get them anything except a sore backside. Or worse."
"It'll be worse...if they touch...right Marie?"
"Right. Otherwise your fingers will be cut off," she growled. "With a dull paring knife."
They saw Dr. Jo, with her husband Andy and four children, her three boys, Drew, Joe, and Robbie, and her daughter Mary. Andy came and shook Rumple's hand. "Hello. I'm Andy, Jo's husband. The other man here who's gone through pregnancy symptoms four times with my wife."
"Pleased to meet you. Thank you for that pamphlet, by the way and you're a braver man than I am," Rumple said.
"It's the price of the bond, but I'd pay it over and over because my kids are worth it. Sometimes," he teased.
"That's not what you said yesterday, Dad," Drew reminded him.
"That was yesterday and you were annoying the hell out of me. It changes depending on which one of you is making me want to strangle you that day," his father retorted.
Rumple laughed. "You remind me of me and Bae."
"She's gotten much bigger since I last saw her, right, Adriana?" Dr. Jo said, for the baby was now a month old and growing rapidly.
Adriana smiled at her.
"Aww! She's so cute!" exclaimed Mary. "Like a little angel!"
Bae smirked. "She can be a little imp . . .especially when she wants something right NOW." He knew three of the doctor's kids from school, Joe was a year younger, Mary two and Robbie three years younger. Drew was in high school.
After meeting the doctor's family, Rumple and Belle continued up to the baptismal font and the altar where the minister waited. Reverend Morris had been a cleric in their land and also in this one, so because of that this ceremony would be binding in both worlds.
Reverend Morris, a lean man with a shock of blond hair and a prominent Adam's apple below a kind yet homely face, addressed the gathering. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the christening of the first True Love baby born in Storybrooke since the curse broke-Miss Adriana Isabella Gold!"
Applause followed this statement. Morris beckoned both the parents and the baby and the godparents forward. Belle and Rumple with Adriana stood on one side of the font and Archie and Marie on the other.
Our daughter will have the best of both worlds, Belle thought. They wanted this christening to have elements from their world and this one.
The little bundle she held in her arms did not understand yet how truly special she was...and what she represented but someday she would. There were so many couples in attendance that day longing for a child of their own, one standing as godparents to this child. They hoped their time away from it all would make that dream a reality.
"Do you Rumplestiltskin and Belle Gold dedicate your child, Adriana Isabella Gold to the God of this realm and those of our realm from this day forward?"
"We do." they replied.
"Do you renounce the dark lords and all their works?"
"We do renounce them."
"Do you, Rumplestilskin and Belle Gold accept the teachings of God of this realm and those of the gods in ours and will guide Adriana in peace, love, justice and mercy for all the days of her life?"
"We do."
"Should there come a time when Rumplestiltskin and Belle cannot guide Adriana, do you Archibald and Marie Hopper agree to stand as godparents in their stead?"
"We do," answered the godparents proudly.
"Belle, bring your child forward so she may receive the blessings."
Belle handed her daughter to the kindly reverend. He smiled down at her and stroked her cheek. "A true miracle you are, Adriana Gold," he murmured and dipped a ladle into the sacred water. Adriana, thinking she was going to have bathtime, started waving her arms and legs enthusiastically. She loved bathtime with Mama and Papa. Mama would make silly faces at her while Papa made sounds of different animals she liked.
He gently poured the water over her head. She clapped her hands and blew bubbles.
"Adriana Isabella Gold, I bless and baptize you in the names of the God of this realm and those of our realm. With this water you are joined in a sacred trust. May you know peace. And you are now dedicated." He kissed her small forehead and handed her to Belle. "And may the God of this realm and ours bless all of you and bring you peace! Rumplestiltskin and Belle invite all of you back to their home for refreshment and to show your fellowship and love towards Adriana."
A banquet fit for a king awaited their guests back at the mansion, all the food prepared by Rumple and Archie. It took them nearly two days to get everything done.
Their wives teased them, claiming their husbands may as well have been married to their kitchens too for spending as much time in them as they did with their families.
"Everything on those tables is a labor of love, dearie," Rumple said softly.
Little Adriana was already showing signs that she'd inherited her father's love of cooking for she insisted on being near him while he cooked.
As soon as the smells from her father's kitchen reached her small nose, she began to wail and if no one took her to Papa right away the little sprite would have a very big temper tantrum
Rumple remembered well an incident over the weekend when both families got together for Sunday dinner. It was now tradition. Belle was with Marie and the children in the family room while the men were in the kitchen. Adriana was playing peek-a-boo with her mother when the scent of garlic drifted into the room. She started crying.
"Adriana, sweetie...what's wrong? Do you need to be changed? Are you hungry?" Belle asked worriedly. She changed the baby and attempted to feed her but she continued to cry.
Then the young mother became terrified. What if her daughter was ill?
She felt the baby's forehead. She didn't have a fever and her color was normal.
"Sometimes babies just want to throw fits, Belle. Gisella did that a lot," Marie said. "And tired herself out."
"But...I hate seeing her cry...and not knowing what's wrong..."
The young mother dashed into the kitchen with her daughter in her arms. Suddenly she quieted down.
"Belle, dearie, what's the matter?" Rumple asked.
"Nothing...now. She was fussing and all of a sudden...she stopped. I guess she just wanted Papa..."
Rumple held out his hands for his daughter. "Did you miss Papa?"
As he gazed down at his daughter's small face he could see her sniffing the air. "Oh...is that what it is now, lass? Ye wanted to smell Papa's cookin?"
The baby cooed.
Belle laughed. "Why am I not surprised? I guess I should make sure she's near the kitchen from now on."
Rumple smiled. "Maybe we need to buy ye a chef's hat and an apron, right, Adriana, a stor?" he crooned, caling her "my treasure" in Gaelic.
"I'll add that to our Christmas list," Archie joked.
"I'm not losing my daughter to this kitchen yet, Rumplestiltskin. Bad enough I rarely see you when you're in it."
"Then perhaps you need to come in here while I'm cooking, dearie. You can be the taste tester," he suggested.
"And need I remind you kitchens and I do not get along?"
"You don't have to cook anything, Belle, just sit here and watch me and taste things. The kitchen isn't going to blow up because you're in it."
"Ummm...not sure about that."
"The kitchen's still standing, Belle. And so is the stove, so you're safe," he teased.
"Well I suppose I could taste test for you..." Belle purred.
"At least HE doesn't have to worry about you throwing his cooking out on the road."
"Neither do you, Archie," Belle pointed out.
"Until I was taught how to bake, I did."
Rumple requested that the guests of the christening bring containers with them to take some of the food home and what was left over would be sent to the homeless shelter.
Now that all of Storybrooke knew the Gold baby was in fact a girl, all of the christening gifts brought to the house were fit for a princess.
Everyone filed into the Victorian and filled plates and went outside into the backyard where there was a tent set up and tables and chairs all over the yard and on the patio. Old rock and roll bands were playing on Rumple's Bose, though Bae had threatened to change the station halfway through to some more current tunes.
Whereupon Rumple said, "Play any of that death metal garbage, dearie, and you'll be grounded for a week."
"And if a song from MY band comes on you can forget about having any of my chili for a year!" Archie threatened.
Bae held up his hands. "Okay! Okay! Will you old geezers chill out? My friends and I will go upstairs and listen to my stuff on my earbuds."
"Uh oh..." Gisella muttered.
Even she knew better than to call her father that.
Rumple's eyes narrowed into his Dark One squint. "Excuse me? WHAT did you just call me, young man?"
"My butt would be reaaaallly sore if i called you that, right, Daddy?" Gisella.
"Yes it would because your mother and I taught you to respect your elders."
"Umm . . sorry, sir . . .Uncle Archie," Bae apologized quickly. "That . .. umm . . .didn't come out right . . ."
Rumple crossed his arms over his chest. "Baelfire, I ought to tan your behind for that . . .but instead I'll do something worse. After this celebration is over . . YOU'RE on clean up duty . . .in the kitchen, in the yard . . ."
"I got my face slapped if I talked like that," Archie muttered.
"AND you get Adriana tonight when she wakes up at 3AM and 6AM," Rumple continued. "Because you know how us "old geezers" need our rest," he snapped. "And you make breakfast for your mama and me tomorrow . . .in bed."
"Holy shi...Papa that's a bit harsh!"
"Would you like me to add some more things?"
"Ummm...no..." Bae glanced down at his shoes.
"I didn't think so. Next time watch your mouth," his father said.
"Okay..."
"Now go and have a good time with your friends . . .I'll call you when everyone's gone home."
Bae made like the former Dark One and vanished, thinking ruefully he'd have taken a couple of whacks over Rumple's chores, and was reminded again why nobody crossed Mr. Gold. It was going to be a great party but the weekend would suck.
Belle was holding court with her daughter, sister and the other ladies.
"Back in our world I'd be willing to bet there'd be at least whole villages of boys asking for her hand," Snow joked.
"IF they survived Rumple's tests first," replied Belle.
"Tests?" Emma frowned.
"Oh yes...tests of will and intelligence...he doesn't care how brawny a boy is..if he has no brains, he's not fit."
Marie giggled. "Archie plans on setting up some kind of obstacle course when Sella's a teenager and keep a gun with blanks in it to scare the crap outta them."
"Jeff says he's gonna have a corn maze . . .like in all the horror movies, and him and Henry are gonna hide in it with those black suits and night vison goggles and machetes or something and make them run through it . . .while being hunted," Emma coughed. "I told him I don't wanna know about it so then I don't have to arrest them for scaring some kid to death."
"M'never gonna git a boyfriend..." Gisella muttered.
"Can I be your boyfriend?" asked Roland.
Marie nearly choked on her soda. Belle dropped the piece of cake she was holding.
Adriana squealed with laughter.
"Huh?!" the little girl asked, dazed.
"Yeah...can we be boyfriend n girlfriend, Sella?"
"I hope her father didn't hear that..." Belle whispered to Marie.
"See...even Adriana thinks it's a good idea," Roland said pointing at the excited baby. "Don'cha?"
Adriana clapped her hands and grinned.
Gisella was blushing. "Ummmm...okay..."
"Yay!" Roland exclaimed. "HEY DADDY I GOTTA GIRLFRIEND NOW!" he shouted.
Bae and Bobby started laughing. "Uh . . .isn't he a little young?" Bobby asked.
"Little kid romances . . .they never last," Bae said loftily, then he started snickering into his napkin.
"No m'not...an' Sella's really pretty!" Roland snapped.
"I'm gonna marry her when I grow up!" he declared.
"Oh gods...Archie and Rumple are going to have a fit..." Belle murmured.
"You got a long way to go before then, small fry," Bobby chuckled. "And you might just change your mind."
"Nuh uh. Don'cha know nothing bout true love?"
The older boy goggled. "Sure I do . . . I've already got mine. Is that what you think this is?"
"Uh huh..."
"I think you need to go out on a couple of dates first, buddy," Bae advised. "Then you'll know for sure."
"Kay...where you wanna go on your date, Sella?"
Her father and uncle overheard THAT and nearly passed out.
"D...D...Did I just hear what I thought I did?' Archie sputtered.
"Well, I heard it too and I'm not going deaf yet!" Rumple coughed.
"W...What...the...hell!?"
Suddenly two of Adriana's bear gifts started dancing.
She cooed and pointed at Roland and Gisella first then the dancing bears, laughing.
Rumple slapped a hand to his forehead. "Kids these days . . .first you have the teenager sassing you and now your five-year-old's planning her first date! And my baby's encouraging it! Calgon, take me away!"
"That's it, Rumple..you have to commit me! I've officially gone insane!" Archie moaned.
"You can't do that to me, Hopper! Otherwise I'M gonna join you!"
Both men started singing They're Coming To Take Me Away, unaware that their wives and a few others were filming it with their cameras.
"They're coming to take me away ho ho hee hee ha haaa
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away ha haaa..."
"Oh no you don't!" Belle exclaimed, grabbing a broom that was set aside for Bae to sweep the patio. She chased her husband and swatted his backside with it.
"Owww! Dearie, what was that for?"
"Had to smack some sense into you." she said with a grin. The broom was snatched out of her hands as Marie now chased her husband with it.
"Ahhh...dammit, Marie not again!" complained Archie.
She swung the broom out and smacked his bottom. From her place in Andi's arms Adriana was still laughing and so were all of the toys.
"Oh I'm glad to see we've amused you, minx!" Rumple teased his daughter.
David rubbed his own backside sympathetically. "I HATE THAT BROOM!"
None of the guests were surprised the child was magical but they had to admit the way she demonstrated her abilities was both cute and amusing.
The next thing they all saw was the infamous broom hopping up and down like a rabbit.
Moe laughed. "Now you KNOW she's a Bordreaux!"
"Still hate that broom," grouched David.
"That because your butt's been blistered with it more than anyone else's for being an idiot," retorted Jeff.
"Oh, so you want to talk idiots? Whose bone headed idea was it to have the manhood intervention, huh?" David challenged.
Jeff made a slashing motion with his hand, not wanting their plans for a second one to be foiled before they hand a chance to put them in action, All of the men were still smarting from their last failure. They suspected someone tipped the women off to where they were going and once they found out whom; a little payback was in order.
Emma frowned at her boyfriend. "You know, maybe I should have given you a night in jail AND a beat down with Belle's broom, Jeff. Maybe then you'd have learned to mind your own business."
"Yeah well it had to be done and it would've worked had someone not opened their big mouth!"
"It never would have worked, Jefferson," Rumple put in. "I know my own mind and I wasn't going to change it for a few of you yahoos who feel threatened by showing a little empathy for your wives and girlfriends. That whole show with Marie was staged, dearie! And if you're thinking about doing it again . . .better think twice because you might not like the outcome a second time!"
"Yeah well who tipped her off?"
"Oh my God...Archie, we need to get going or we'll miss our flight!" Marie exclaimed, looking at her watch.
"Damn...I didn't realize it was that late!"
He grinned at his wife when none of the men involved in the intervention were looking. Only Rumple and Belle knew they were the ones who set the men up.
"Have a nice flight, dearies, and call if you need anything when you get there," Rumple said, hugging them goodbye. "Some airlines are notorious for losing luggage."
"We will...and hopefully won't have to summon you," Archie said referring to the spell on their rings.
"M'gonna miss ya, Uncle Rumple!" said Gisella.
He knelt and hugged her. "Me too, little minx! Have a good time and keep a food diary, so you can tell me what dishes you liked and I can cook them for you when you get home."
"Yeah and I don't wanna get any roadkill there either."
"Well, if you do, just send it back!" he laughed.
"She and her father are notorious for that," Marie said with a laugh.
"Yes, well when I ask for a well done steak and I find blood in it, I'm not eating it," Archie grumbled.
"And make sure you don't eat anything questionable," Rumple cautioned. "Because I don't want to get a phone call that you've got food poisoning or something."
"We won't."
Belle hugged her sister. "Have a wonderful time...and let me know how things are going...details..." she added with a wink.
"Not too many sister dear...after all…there are some things a woman likes to keep to herself...right?"
"Oh yes," Belle said dreamily, smiling at her husband.
Adriana waved her little hands and made smooching noises. Bae picked her up out of her seat and said, "Say bye bye, Rumplette, and have a good trip!"
Archie, Marie and Gisella took turns giving the baby a kiss and a hug. "We'll bring you some surprises back...how would you like that?" Archie asked her.
The bear and the rag doll sitting on the table grinned and bounced up and down.
"That means yes, Daddy. See ya later, Riana!"
The baby cooed at her and the rag doll waved goodbye.
"It's too bad you couldn't tweet me some food," Bae said, for he was perpetually hungry nowadays.
Marie laughed and hugged her nephew. "With your papa's cooking you don't need it."
"Maybe they oughta get you a shirt, Fire," Andi suggested. "One of those ones that says, My aunt and Uncle went to Rome and all they brought me back was this lousy T-shirt!" She smirked.
Archie smirked. "I just might do that!"
"I ALWAYS need food, Aunt Marie," Bae disagreed.
"We're gonna go to Rome, right Daddy?" asked Gisella.
"We certainly are, Princess."
"You'd better get moving or you won't go anywhere," Rumple encouraged.
The family said their final goodbyes and raced outside to their car to get to the airport.
Meanwhile Andi looked at her boyfriend, who despite his voracious appetite was still slender yet muscular. Bae was eating a meatball parm sub. "I don't know where the hell you put it all, Bae. If I ate like that, I'd be an elephant."
"That's the Stiltskin metabolism," Belle sighed enviously.
"And lately I'm always starving," Bae replied, also eating some potato salad.
"Maybe I ought to get you checked for tapeworm," Rumple joked, and ruffled his hair.
She glanced down at her own tummy. Many women told her that the extra pounds she now carried wouldn't come off right away and she wasn't overly concerned about it...Rumple still found her attractive.
Still she did want to fit back into her old clothes again.
Rumple had lost all the weight he'd gained in the month after the baby was born, and now fit easily back into his old clothes and shoes.
"I'm going to have to start going to the gym...or something…" Belle said softly.
Rumple patted her arm. "Don't stress over it, sweetheart. If you like we can go for longer walks with Major and Adriana in the stroller. And maybe you just need to eat more protein and vegetables."
"I suppose so...ooh I hate when I get in these moods...and today of all days!"
"Why don't I make you some chamomile tea?" Rumple suggested, sensing one of her post-partum depression moods hovering and wanting to head it off.
"Yes..."
Belle heard so many horror stories of what some mothers did while having post-partum depression and it terrified her.
"Be right back," and he vanished from the table, reappearing inside and beside the stove, where he began boiling the water for the tea. Rumple could have magicked up a cup but he preferred doing things the old fashioned way when it came to cooking, unless he was abnormally stressed for time.
Belle sat down. She couldn't have asked for a better husband. There were times after the baby was born when she was difficult but he was patient with her and she loved him all the more for it. When she was having her doubts about her skills as a mother he was right there encouraging her.
He measured some loose tea into a tea ball and placed it in her special cup that said Sometimes the best book has the dustiest jacket with a bunch of books piled on top of each other. He had bought it for her as a welcome home gift.
When the kettle boiled he poured it into the cup and let it steep. Then he went and measured out two teaspoonfuls of honey and stirred it in. Then he took some light cream and beat it rapidly, whipping it to a froth than added it to the tea and stirred gently. He called it Stiltskin Sleepy Time Tea and they both loved it, as it helped calm their nerves down, especially after a long night with the baby fussing.
When she was at her lowest point she would stop and think about how lucky she was. She'd been told she would never have a child...now she had one and one who considered her his mother though she hadn't given birth to him. She had her Rumple even after so many years of being apart.
It was the stuff that dreams were made of.
Rumple reappeared with the mug of tea in his hand and said, imitating a proper English butler, "Your tea is served, madam." Then he set the tea in front of her, his brown eyes twinkling merrily.
One day while she was in the park with Adriana she overheard Merri Blue asking another woman how she could be happy with an old man when there were so many younger ones out there. She just ignored them but while she was driving home Carly Simon's The Stuff That Dreams are Made Of came on the radio and she realized just how well that song fit.
Let them have their young, gorgeous boy toys...they would just leave for the next sweet young thing. She and Rumple were bonded...and nothing would ever part them again.
What if the Prince on the horse in your fairytale
Is right here in disguise
And what if the stars you've been reaching so high for
Are shining in his eyes…
And when she looked at her husband now...that was what she was seeing, what she always saw.
Rumple sat down next to her and ate a piece of the christening cake while playing with Adriana's foot.
"Did I ever tell you that I don't always have to be outside to see the stars..." she whispered to him.
"I seem to remember you saying that to me . . on our second date right here," he murmured and fed her a piece of cake. "How's that? Did I add enough bananas to the filling?" It was a devil's food cake with banana cream filling and whipped cream on top.
"Just perfect...and I don't have to be outside to see stars...because they're right here..." she said caressing his cheek.
His eyes sparkled even more. "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" he quoted softly. "Thou art more temperate and more sweet."
"Except when I chase you with the broom," she teased.
"YOU said it, dearie. And also when you're woken up for the tenth time in the middle of the night by Miss Demanding Imp over here," he poked his daughter playfully in the tummy, making her giggle.
"Well she IS like her father...especially when it came to me cleaning your castle..."
He shrugged. "I cannae help it, dearie," he purred in his sexy accent. "I grew up with dirt and fleas thanks to my dear old dad . . .and once I was grown I vowed never again would I ever live like a filthy slob . . .if i could help it. So I dinna . . .even if it meant washing and sweeping the floor ten times . . ."
"At least now I know how to clean properly...my father used to scold Marie and me when he gave us cleaning punishments and we cut corners."
Rumple smirked. "I learned how to clean from my aunt Lotte . . .she was neat as a pin and you could eat off of her floor. . . and she taught me that you do a job once and do it well or else you do it over till you learn how."
"I'm dreading what our castle will look like...and what if none of them remember us...you don't look the same and in way…neither do I."
"Oh, never fear. They wont forget us . . .and how I look now is my true appearance . . and they'll know me by my voice and you and Bae don't look all that much different." Rumple soothed. "I'll have to speak to Jeff again . . .once he's done getting his ears chewed off by Emma . . .about going and speaking to an old acquaintance of mine that I just recalled. A fellow by the name of Paul . . . with a big blue ox . . .who's a relative of Anton of the beanstalk. It's said he can build anything with his two hands . . . and perhaps he can build a bridge from one realm to the other . . .like Bifrost in the Norse myths."
"Paul…as in Bunyan? Why didn't you tell me? I know you forgot but before...in the castle..."
"I . . . well, I was kind of busy and umm . . .it never crossed my mind. I met him long before you came into the picture, dearie. Bae was out walking one day and met him on the path to the castle, a jealous rival had cursed his ox, Babe, and the poor beast was in terrible pain, his joints all twisted, and Bae brought him to me to take the curse off . . .which I did . . . and asked him to owe me a favor at an unspecified date. My Sight indicated there would come a time when I would need his skills . . .and now that time has come . . .if he can do so . .. "
"Your Sight is rarely wrong, darling...look at my sister...you Saw she would be happy...and now she is."
Rumple gestured with a hand, then said, "If it's possible, the bridge would serve as an anchor for the portal in both worlds, enabling it to remain open for those who wish to cross . . .so long as they pay a toll first. At least that's my theory."
"It's perfect and doesn't risk anything we don't want getting here."
"And the toll would be paid to Paul on one end and to someone else here . . .but I'm not sure who."
"What about one of the dwarves...I don't think some of them want to go back...Grumpy I doubt would."
"Yes, that would work."
The couple was then approached by some of the guests getting ready to leave. There were some that stayed behind, including the Charmings, the Hoods, Regina, Ruby, and Granny. All of them wanted to go back to the Forest to visit.
Rumple told them of his plan, and gave Jeff a signed contract from when he'd made the deal with Paul to show the giant lumberjack to prove his sincerity and to remind him of the favor still owed. "And if that's not enough, you can always come and get me and I'll speak with him directly."
"I think once I tell him you're asking he'll work with us," Jeff said.
"I hope so, dearie. He originally came from this land, you know, so he has ties to it that'll help when he goes to build the bridge."
"I'm excited about this. What do you say babygirl...do you want to go see Papa's castle? You'll meet the people from Beauty and The Beast..."
Adriana made a burbling noise and wriggled, making her toy jump up and down.
"Do you want to wait for Archie and Marie to get back before we leave, Rumple?"
"Yes . . .and it'll give me time to go through some things in my shop and for Adriana to grow some more . .. perhaps get a few vaccinations before we leave."
"That would be wise since back there those things couldn't always be treated." The Hoppers had already been vaccinated prior to their trip.
"I'm curious to see how Gabby handles seeing Major...and Misty..."
"Yes, hopefully they should get along."
"If not...there will be fur and stuffing flying all over the castle…"
"And dogs in the doghouse . . ." Rumple said.
"And little Tobias and Wesley..."
"At least we don't have to worry about that crazy bitch Cora anymore," Jeff said.
"No, thank the gods . .. though there will always be some magician out there or warlord with evil intentions that we need to fight. Evil never dies . . it just assumes different forms," Rumple replied.
"Then we'll need protection spells too," Emma spoke up.
"That's a given," Gold replied. "I'll teach you how to cast them, since that's part of any apprentice's training in magical arts."
"Will I be able to even with my bracelet on, Rumple?' Regina asked.
"Yes, since a protection spell doesn't violate the bracelet's enchantment to harm none."
"Good because I want to make certain Robin, Roland, Henry, and Jason are safe."
While the adults were having their pow-wow, Bae was cleaning up the mess on the tables and in the yard slowly. His friends offered to help, but Bae told them they could only fold up the chairs and tables, anything else he had to do. "Or else Papa will have my ass," he muttered, casting a glance in his father's direction. Though he appeared engrossed in the conversation, Baelfire knew Rumple was aware of what else was going on around him, as always.
"Dang, Bae...must have eyes in the back of his head like my mom and my idiot brother tried to say he didn't do something...even if she watched..." said Becky.
"Papa has eyes like Argus the hundred eyed giant and he can spot someone trying to break a deal with him in a New York minute," Bae replied. "And I made a deal with him to clean up after this party . . .among other things."
"In lieu of what? Getting your ass grounded?" asked Kat knowingly. "What'd you do?"
Bae sighed, knowing it was better to tell them before they'd found out on their own. "My usual. I was a smartass to him . . . I ran my mouth off and he nailed me for it."
"Not smart mate. Not at all," said Ewan. "My da woulda walloped the arse off ye."
"I know . . .my Uncle Archie said the same thing," Bae sighed. "But Papa promised me a long time ago once I was a teenager, no more spankings . . .said he had other methods of keeping me in line that were worse than a sore butt. And this sucks . . ." he went on to detail the rest of his punishment.
"And your Papa will be going over it with a glove," Becky teased.
"Yeah, you ain't kidding. And if he doesn't like it . . .he makes me do it over again . . ."
"So does my mum," Ewan said.
"Parents!" Bae sighed.
"Baelfire...less talk, more work..." Belle teased her son
"Okay, Mama . . ." He went to grab some more pans of food and bring them inside to put into containers and throw out the trash that had accumulated beside the pails because they were full. His papa was an evil genius, he thought ruefully, though he couldn't deny the effectiveness of Rumple's punishment.
Adriana watched him, scowling. She wanted to play with her big brother...and he'd take forever if he had to do all that himself. She clapped her hands and several bears marched over to him.
Belle nearly dropped her teacup when she saw a stuffed animal army marching over to her son.
"What the...?"
Bae almost fell over. "Hey! Adriana, what the heck?"
One of the bears grabbed a trashbag while another jumped onto a table and grabbed a spoon, putting macaroni salad into as container.
Another scraped food off a pan into a trashbag.
The baby giggled waved her arms and legs excitedly.
"Papa, it wasn't me," Bae groaned. "She did it herself."
The baby smirked at her father.
Belle giggled beside him.
Rumple rolled his eyes. Then he said, softly but firmly, "Now dinna give me that look, Adriana, dearie. No helping your brother, 'tis his job because he's in trouble with me." He waved a hand and all the stuffed animals were returned to the table.
Adriana wailed loudly.
All the animals began crying and wore unhappy faces.
Rumple winced. Then he picked up his screaming infant and hugged her to him, walking a little ways away with her to the bench swing and sitting down on it. He pushed it with his foot and said, "Hey now, little imp, quit having a fit. None o' that now, treasure. When I hand out a punishment, 'tis done, an' ye must mind what I say . . .yer brother knows that .. .and so will you too."
He knew the baby didn't understand what he said, but would understand the tone, and hopefully the rocking motion would soothe her. "I know ye think if ye make me deaf I'm gonna change my mind, but I'm no gonna do it . . .but if ye want to scream about it . . .go ahead . . ."
She loved being in the swing but she was still upset she couldn't help Bae. She stopped crying but gave him a Look.
'She's a stubborn one...just like someone else I know..." Belle said softly.
Rumple shook his head. "None o' that, little lass!"
Not wanting her papa to be mad, she smiled and reached for his nose.
He allowed her to grab it, saying, "No! Not again! You stole my nose!" in a high squeaky voice.
She laughed and tried to hide her hand behind her back.
"Where is it?" He pretended to search for it, muttering, "I canna breathe wid out it!"
She brought her hand around and patted his nose, cooing, then holding her hands out to grab his face so he could give her kisses.
Belle snapped a picture with her phone.
Rumple kissed her little face, naming each part of her as he did so. "Papa kisses Adriana's nose, Papa kisses Adriana's forehead . . .eyes . .. cheeks . .. and her wee mouth . . ." Then he went and blew a raspberry on her tummy.
She carded her little fingers through his hair as she laughed. The stuffed animals started laughing too.
Rumple began singing, "A wee bitty baby ran through the town, upstairs, downstairs, in her nightgown . . ."
As he did so he pretended to nibble her hands and toes.
Belle tickled her under her chin.
Their miracle squealed happily and all the stuffed animals fell over, prostrate with laughter.
"I love when she does that," Regina said, smiling. She wondered if she ever had a baby with Robin whether the baby would also have magic.
If she even could have a child. She'd failed so many times with Graham...
Maybe I'm meant to mother someone else's children...not my own as my punishment. But she didn't consider it a punishment to have raised Henry and now she would be raising Jason...and if things worked out well with Robin...Roland too.
And if that's how it was meant to be, she could live with that. After all being a mother didn't necessarily mean bearing a child.
"So Gold...any ideas on how Paul's gonna help us?" demanded Emma when she and Jeff approached them.
Rumple looked up at the sheriff and put his baby on his shoulder and told her what he had told Belle about the bridge being an anchor for a portal bean. "That's what I think we should try and do, but if Paul has another idea, he's welcome to try it."
"Where are we going to find a bean?I doubt Anton would have one here."
Rumple thought for a moment. "Well, there were rumors floating around before the curse was cast that a pirate named Smee had access to a bean . . .or so he claimed. But I'm not sure if he was taken here when the curse was cast or is still in our old land. Otherwise the only other thing we can do is find a beanstalk and climb it . . .or look for the ashes of the wardrobe tree that your parents sent you through."
"I'd prefer finding this pirate."
"Then you and Jeff be my guest, dearie, and do so," Rumple said. "Me, the less I have to do with those scum the better. There's no love lost between us since my ex-wife up and left us with one when Bae was a little boy."
"Guess we better start down at The Rabbit Hole or Blackbeard's."
"That would be a good idea," the sorcerer agreed. He patted Adriana gently on the back, and then said to his wife, "Why don't you take our bitty imp and put her down for a nap, Belle?"
"Let's go, my angel.." Belle said softly, cradling her precious bundle in her arms.
The baby nuzzled her and made a soft little sigh as she snuggled against her mother.
She lay the baby down in her crib and settled into the rocking chair beside it to read a book.
Major came and lay down beside the crib, wanting to be near the baby, his head on his huge paws, content yet watchful.
Two months later:
Emma and Jeff had managed to locate Smee, finding him working down at the docks for the cannery while engaged in a few shady deals on the side .. . mainly extorting people out of their family heirlooms. It was also discovered that he had been the fence for the Black Dogs, and had known sketchily about the raid going down at the Scorpions hideout. Emma wanted to toss him in the clink for that, but Jeff persuaded her to make a deal with him-in exchange for giving them a magical bean, he wouldn't go to jail for that little misdeed . . . though Emma never agreed not to prosecute him for other infractions. Smee agreed and the bean was theirs.
All of the people wanting to travel back to the Enchanted Forest gathered at the Gold house. Because there were so many of them, they would have to toss the bean in an open field so that the portal was large enough to fit everyone.
Rumple, Belle, and Bae found all their old clothing in the basement of the shop and had it delivered to all of the travelers two days before the portal opened as well as magic bags created by Mary Poppins so that could carry anything they wanted with them.
Belle was wearing her old blue work dress and she made her husband wear a pair of his leather pants or threatened to exile him to the sofa for a week.
"Okay, dearie, and here's a pair for you too, Bae," Rumple said, and handed his son a pair.
Andi was grinning. She'd been looking forward to this for a long time.
"Papa, are you sure?" Bae looked hesitant.
"He's sure...now get in them..." Andi ordered.
If he didn't oblige her she was going to borrow Belle's broom.
Bae shook his head and muttered something about obsessions with women and leather, then took them into the bathroom to change. He also had his old blue tunic and his soft shawl that his papa had made for him.
Andi was wearing an ice blue gown that had been made for her by her mother and her butterfly necklace as well as a gold bracelet of a scorpion.
Bae examined himself in the bathroom mirror before walking out, wondering if the leather made his legs look too spindly. He'd grown an inch and a half since the curse broke and nearly rivaled his father in height.
Not that it mattered any, he thought. Rumplestiltskin could cut him down to knee high with one well-placed Look.
"Bae! What're ya waiting for? Christmas?" shouted Gisella impatiently.
"Oh keep your skirt on!" he yelled back.
Belle laughed. "Come on out and lets have a look!"
He tugged his tunic down and adjusted his belt before he went out to show them his new clothing, praying he didn't look like a cheap imitation of his father.
Andi's mouth dropped open and she could've sworn her body temperature went up over a thousand degrees. This was the boy she'd first fallen in love with.
Not that she didn't love him less in his modern clothes. He could've worn a toga and she still would've thought he was the handsomest boy she'd ever seen.
"Do I look okay?"
"Umm...ummm...yes..." she croaked.
She needed a bucket of ice water.
And she wanted to kiss him breathless, not giving a damn if half the town saw it.
Bae was relieved that he didn't look like a poser . . .because not everyone looked good in leather pants. Though these were comfortably soft and not too tight. Then again, his papa had made them, and he knew Bae's measurements to a T.
"Oh the heck with it!" Andi exclaimed and threw her arms around him and kissing him.
"A Stiltskin in leather...irresistible," Belle murmured, giving her husband heated looks.
"Hey, now we have to set an example here," he began, smirking.
"I've got one to set," she said and kissed him.
He wound his arms around her and kissed her back.
"Soooo...when are you going to indulge ME, Hopper?" Marie demanded of her husband.
"I am not wearing them, Marie...not in this lifetime or the next...And besides...I think I indulged you enough on our honeymoon..." Archie murmured.
.
"Oh will you all get a room!" chuckled Regina.
"We will...once we get back to our castle..." Belle whispered.
"Well if you can come up for air, I'd like to see this place," Emma said.
"Sorry, dearie. I . .. err . . .have that effect on her in these," Rumple coughed, amused.
"So I gathered."
She was busy admiring a certain Hatter in his own leather pants.
"All right, now is everyone ready?" Rumple called out.
"We're ready, Rumple," Archie called back.
"Then let's get going," he said, and led the way to the glowing portal. David and Jeff along with a few other hearty adventurers still in the forest, had gone with Paul's help and cleared the land of ogres. The queen's castles were still standing and so were a lot of other residences
Grumpy stood beside the portal, ready to take tolls. He held a glowing crystal ball, which would capture a single happy memory of each person's time in Fairy Tale Land, to be retrieved once they returned to Storybrooke.
"We're going home, sweetheart," Belle said to her daughter.
As her hand touched the crystal ball she recalled the night Rumple proposed to her. It would be her return toll.
The globe glowed as it gently absorbed the memory. "Go ahead, Belle."
The young mother stepped through the portal with Adriana in her arms.
Since Emma and Henry had no memories of the Enchanted Forest, Grumpy allowed them to place any happy thought into the globe instead.
Emma made the day she was reunited with her son her fondest memory while Henry made his the day she and Regina broke the first curse together.
Bae made his the day he had met Andi down at the village.
Andi made hers the day she met Bae and had lunch with him at the market.
Marie's was the day her daughter was born. As she placed one hand on the crystal ball the other caressed her abdomen. She was planning on telling her sister her good news soon.
Rumple paused before putting his hand upon the globe. He had many memories he could choose, but the one he picked was the day when Belle recovered from the poisoning by Zelena and he and Bae were beside her bed for that was the day he first realized, even if it was only to himself, that he loved his chatelaine and that she loved them as her family.
Next it was Gisella's turn. Hers was the night she was told she would meet her new daddy in a new land and there he was...right beside her.
When Archie placed his hand on the globe he recalled the day he first met Marie, chasing him around the castle with the infamous Bordreaux broom.
Regina was one of the last people to pass through. When she placed her hand on the globe she recalled having a secret picnic in the woods with Daniel.
"We're home, darling!" Belle said to her daughter when they came out of the portal in the Dark Castle gardens. As she feared, the castle itself was in disrepair after so many years of neglect. The weeds were overgown and some of the beautiful statuary was broken and that was just on the outside. She dreaded finding out what it looked like inside.
Pongo looked up at the castle and started barking.
"Easy Pongo..." Gisella soothed.
Major growled.
Bae stroked him. "It's okay, boy. Nothing's gonna hurt you." He looked uneasily at Rumple and Belle. "What's with him?"
"The curse lingers a bit," Rumple said, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. He concentrated and the lingering darkness was dispersed.
"But...how?" Archie asked, confused. "The second or the first?"
"Most likely it's the first one, "Belle said.
She grabbed Rumple's hand, fearful of being parted again.
"It's all right. It's not active, it's just . . .when a Great Magic is worked, it leaves an aura . . .and it can be felt by us sensitives . . .or animals."
"Thank God Regina burned that damned book with the curse in it," Archie grumbled.
Adriana began whimpering a bit.
'Shhh...it's okay sweetie...Papa won't let anything hurt you..." Belle murmured.
Emma frowned. "Is that why I feel like somebody just walked over my grave, Gold?"
"That's why," he assured her. He reached out and caressed Adriana's face. "Shhh, babydoll. It's okay, the bad thing is gone away now."
Regina breathed a sigh of relief. She could feel the dark magic calling to her, tempting her but even without the bracelet she now had the strength to resist it because she had so many people believing in her.
Rumple went to the great double doors and touched them in a certain pattern. Then he whispered, "I have returned."
The doors shimmered with light and then opened, the spell warding them broken at last by the return of the master of the castle.
Rumple entered the foyer, and at the first touch of his boot upon the floor, the enchanted sleep was broken.
Gabby raced out of the family room, barking. "The Master! It's the master..."
The hassock skidded to a halt when it saw Major and Pongo.
The shepherd cocked his head in puzzlement. "Whuff?"
Pongo was equally confused. "Whuff?"
The two dogs approached the hassock and sniffed it.
Gabby wagged his tassel and yipped, "Master! Oh, master! You've come home and you brought FRIENDS for me to play with!" He began barking happily and sniffing the two dogs.
"That's not all we brought, honey," Belle said softly. "We have a few additions to the family."
"Where? Where?" Gabby was running in circles and had he been a real dog he probably would have peed on the floor from excitement. "Everyboody! The Master's hoome! Whoo hoo!"
"He hasn't changed a bit!" Bae laughed and went to pet the hassock.
"Oooh Daddy...lookit...he's just like the thingie in Beauty and the Beast," Gisella exclaimed.
Belle kneeled down holding Adriana. "Here's one of the new additions to the family, Gabby...meet Adriana."
"Ohh! Hello! Hello! Belle, why's she so tiny?" Gabby wagged his tail and licked the baby.
"She was just born a few months ago."
Suddenly a familiar candlestick and a mantel clock slid down the bannister and Lumiere cried, "Mon Dieu! 'Tis a baby, Cogsworth! Master, is that-?"
"Lumiere! Cogsworth!" Belle exclaimed.
"Milady Belle! Master Rumple! You've returned!" Cogsworth cried and ran to hug Belle.
"Lumiere, meet my daughter, Adriana Isabella Gold!" Rumple announced proudly.
Lumiere hopped over to see Adriana. "Oh, she's beautiful! Looks just like her papa!"
"How wonderful!" Cogsworth cried, smiling.
Gisella approached them. "You're like the clock in Beauty and the Beast!"
Cogsworth looked up at her. "And who are you, young miss?"
"M'Gisella Hopper. And there's my mommy and daddy..an our doggie Pongo," she said, pointing back at her parents and their dog.
"Hello again, Cogsworth. It's nice to see you again, said Marie.
"Lady Marie! How lovely to see you again!" the clock came and shook her hand and Gisella's hand. "Welcome back!"
"And this is Archie...my husband but...he didn't look like this when he was here before."
"No...I was a cricket." Archie said.
"You . . .were Jiminy Cricket!" Cogsworth cried. "And now you're a man again!" He shook Archie's hand too.
"Yes I am."
"It's Belle, Bae, and the Master!" yelled Tobias as he and Wesley hopped into the room.
"Master! When did you get back?" cried Tobias.
"Was it an awfully long time?" asked Wesley.
Tobias rolled his eyes. "Of course, you noddle head! You act like he was gone just last night!"
"Well, it feels like last night, you pudding brain!" Wesley shoved his brother. "Outta the way! I get to say hi first!"
Tobias shoved him back. "No me!"
"Me!"
"No, me!"
"Lads!"
Rumple gave both of them a Look.
Both shakers froze and looked at the ground. "Sorry, Master." They chorused.
"Well, I see they haven't changed," Belle chuckled.
Adriana laughed and tried to reach for them.
"Did you think they would?" Rumple chuckled. He knelt and picked up the two shakers. "I missed you too, lads. Now there's some people I'd like you to meet. Say hello to my baby girl, Adriana." He went and showed them to her.
"Hi! I'm Wesley!" said the salt shaker, and he took Adriana's finger in his small hand.
Adriana burbled at him.
"An' I'm Tobias," said his brother. "But you call me Toby. Pleased to meetcha!" He took her other hand.
The baby giggled at him.
"Wow! Now we gots one of everything in the castle!" Wesley cried.
"'Cept a king. We don't got that," Tobias reminded him.
"The Master's better than any old king!" Wesley declared.
"Daddy, how come you didn't tell me they got salt n pepper shakers that can talk too?" Gisella demanded of her father.
"It would've ruined the surprise, Princess."
Tobias looked at Gisella. "Hey! You're a princess? Then is he a king?"
"If he's her daddy then he is!" Wesley rolled his eyes. "Duh! Jarhead!"
"Nah my daddy's not a king but he useta be a cricket."
"Shut up, salt for brains! B'fore I tip you over and spill 'em all out!" Tobias snapped.
"You're funny," Gisella said and laughed.
Tobias grinned. "That's cause I got all the brains in the family. How'd your daddy become a man if he was a cricket? Was he enchanted like us?"
"Uh-huh. The mean blue fairy made him one...then we when we got to the new land he was a man. An then that meanie Zelena turned him back into a cricket an' mommy kissed him so he's never gonna be a cricket again."
"Cool!" Wesley said. "That's as good a story as the ones the Master tells us!"
"She's my papa's niece, boys," Bae told them. "And she's gonna be staying here too."
"Yippee!" Tobias shouted and spun about. Pepper flew all over.
Rumple and Adriana sneezed.
"You idiot! You got all the brains in the family my butt!" Wesley snapped.
"I forgot how crazy they are," Marie said with a laugh.
"They're like little kids too..."
"They are, Gisella," her father answered.
"More n'you!" Tobias stuck his tongue out at Wesey. "Mama said so!"
"Mama died when you were born!"
"Well, she woulda said it, so there!"
"Lads, enough! Or would you like five minutes in the corner?" Rumple asked sternly.
"Ooh you better quit cause the corner sucks," Gisella advised.
"No!" yelped Wesley.
"We'll be good!" Tobias said. They gave Rumple their best innocent-little-boy smiles.
"I'm actually curious about how the kitchen is going to act with another cook in the family," Belle said to her husband.
"Oh I doubt they'll let me near it," Archie laughed.
"If I say so, it will," Rumple said firmly. "Toby, Wes, why don't you show Gisella around here while I introduce Archie to my kitchen? Gabby, Bae, you can show everyone else to a guest room and make sure if there's any enchanted furniture you introduce them properly."
"Okay, Papa." Bae said.
Rumple set Wesley and Tobias down and Tobias hopped over to Gisella and said, "Yay! I'm a page! Follow me!"
"Yeah a blank page," his brother muttered. "Let's show Gisella the family room."
"What's in there...more stuff like you guys?"
"Uh huh. There's Misty the sofa . . ." Tobias told her.
"Oooh I wanna see!"
"This way!" yodled Wes.
"C'mon Pongo, Major!" Gisella called back to the dogs.
The dogs and Gabby followed.
"Mom, I wanna see too," Henry said to Regina.
"Me too!" Jason cried.
"And me!" Roland added.
"Go ahead...but don't touch anything you shouldn't," Regina said to the younger boys.
"We won't!" Roland promised. "We don't want Mister Rumple to put us in the corner."
"Wonder if Misty's a dog like Gabby, Major, and Pongo," Gisella mused.
"Nope! You'll see!" said Wesley. As he approached the family room door, it swung open. "Hey, Misty! We got guests again in the castle! And not mean ol' butthead ones like snotty Zelena either!"
"Rowl? Rowllllll!" the sofa screeched when it saw the two dogs.
"Oooh, it's a kitty!" Gisella exclaimed.
She hopped onto the sofa and petted it. "Major an Pongo won't hurt you, kitty..."
Misty arched her arm up and purred.
"I wanna pet the kitty!" cried Jason.
Gisella moved over so the two younger boys could join her.
Sensing the cat was friendly, the dogs lay down on the floor in front of her.
Henry went and stroked the cat sofa marveling at how soft it was. "Like a cat's fur!"
"You got any more like her here, Wesley?" Roland asked.
"Uh, no. She's the only cat," the salt shaker answered. "But we got more enchanted stuff in the kitchen and upstairs. Master's study gots a bookcase and Belle's room has Cosette the armoire."
"And Mrs. Potts and Chip!" said Tobias. "He's a sugar bowl kid, like us. And his mama's the teapot!"
"I wanna see!" Gisella cried.
"C'mon!" Tobias ran over to the door. "They're on the tea cart in the alcove by the dining room!"
Henry was fascinated by everything in the castle, and asked many questions as they went through it, wanting to know everyone's story.
When Rumple walked into the kitchen, it gave a rousing cheer, like a crowd celebrating the return of a hero.
"I've got a lot to live up to, don't I?" Archie asked him.
"Uh . . . it kind of worships me," Rumple admitted awkwardly.
"Master, have you come to cook?" cried Ormand the meat cleaver.
"I have all the food ready!" sang Adelaide the pantry.
"I'm ready for some stew," said Ocras the cauldron.
"Hmmm...wonder how they'd react to my chili..."
Rumple clapped his hands. "Everyone, listen up! This is my brother-in-law, Archie. He'll be living here in the castle now and while he's here, he's going to cook like I do."
Archie prepared to duck flying objects.
"Nobody cooks like you, Master!" Ormand said loyally.
"Umm .. . well . . .he's almost as good and that's really a matter of opinion. So . . .as long as he's here, you will all be gracious and polite . . .or else you'll go into storage with that harpy Chantal!"
"I'm not going into storage!" protested Adelaide.
"You know how to cook boy...prove it!" demanded Ocras.
"Go on," Rumple urged. "Show them. You can ask for any of the spices you need and they'll come to you off the rack. Anything else. Adelaide will give to you."
Archie rolled up his sleeves. "All right...you're in the mood for stew? Let's try my beef one..."
"Ocras will give you water," Rumple said pointing to the cauldron. "Just say "Fill yourself" and name the liquid. His name means hungry."
He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. he'd written down the spices that were used in the Ramen noodle packets and managed to replicate it while he was in Rome.
"All right Ocras...I'll need you to fill yourself with water."
The cauldron obeyed, and pure water filled it.
"Adelaide, I will need the flour, please."
The pantry popped open her drawer and flour appeared on the counter.
He started calling out the other ingredients...onions, beef, carrots, eggs, potatoes.
They all appeared on the counter next to him in the order he'd asked for them.
He grabbed a bowl and mixed the flour, eggs and some oil in it then used a rolling pin to flatten it out.
Then using a knife, he started cutting the flour into small square shaped pieces.
Once the noodles were made he placed them on a tray and set them aside while he chopped up the carrots, potatoes, onions and beef.
"Is there anything else you need?" the pantry asked him.
"Tobias and Wesley," Archie answered.
Then he started calling out the order for the spices he would use in his roast beef seasoning.
He set the spice aside and placed the beef cubes in the cauldron to cook first.
Rumple summoned the shakers to him. "Lads, we need you to season some stew."
"You're not cooking?"
"No, Archie is," Rumple explained. "He's my brother, so you're to listen to him while he's in the kitchen like you do me, understand?"
"Kay! What you need us to do, Archie?"
"I'll need you to season the spices in this bowl and the beef in the cauldron...about three shakes each…understand?"
The two obeyed and shook three times into each object.
"How you know how to cook if you were a cricket before?" Tobias asked.
"I had to before I became one...my parents didn't know how..."
"Our papa didn't either. Everything he tried to make tasted like sawdust," Wesley told him. "He was a carpenter. But Toby and I didn't wanna work with wood . . .so when he died we went an' 'prenticed ourselves to the head cook here . . .ole Huff n'Puff."
"My parents didn't want to do much of anything...except run cons..."
"His real name was Phillippe," said Tobias. "But he was like a dragon so's that's why everybody called him that. He was a pain in my butt. Usta pull my ear when I forgot to give him something. An' once he beat Wes with his shoe."
"Well I don't beat anyone...you can ask my daughter."
"And you know I don't either." Rumple put in. After hearing that he was glad the stove had flown away.
While they were talking, Archie kept an eye on the beef and once it was cooked, he added the noodles one at time.
Tobias nodded. "And we know you'd never let anyone hurt us either, Master."
Once the noodles were cooked, Archie added the vegetables and his seasoning.
"What do you think so far?' he asked the kitchen.
He hadn't made any of them fly away or burned the place down.
The kitchen clapped. "You're a good under chef!" the utensils cheered.
"At lease you won't throw my mistakes out on the road and yell get your roadkill."
Tobias giggled. "Who does that?"
"My daughter." Archie chuckled. "Though while we were in Greece I was tempted to do it a few times when we went out to dinner."
"I can just imagine," Rumple chuckled.
"You know I cannot stand blood in my steak...well in this one place outside Athens they made my steak like that...and I sent it back."
"How many time?"
"Twice! We ummm...actually got thrown out of the place because Gisella DID take it off my plate the second time and threw it out on the road because we were outside."
Rumple started laughing. "I would have paid good money to see that!"
"Marie recorded it she just never got around to showing it to you. And one night in Rome Marie and I just felt like staying in and umm...we ordered chicken parmesan and when we got it...part of it was still frozen!"
"Oh gods! I would have had a fit."
"Oh I did..cursed the lot of them out in Italian."
"Good for you," Rumple approved.
"So our planned night in ended up having to go out to eat anyway."
"Well, here we can eat home every night, unless Maurice, Snow or Regina invites us to their castles."
"We ended up checking out of a hotel in Athens and another in Rome and finding ones with kitchens."
"The best meals are ones you make yourself." Rumple stated.
While the men were in the kitchen, the women were upstairs helping Belle set up the nursery and getting settled in their rooms.
"I'm so glad to be back Cosette," Belle said softly.
"Belle!" the armoire ran and hugged her. "How glad I am that you've returned."
"And I'm married to Rumple, his curse is broken...and we have a baby..."
Cosette squealed. "You see? I told you he loved you . . .and can I see your little one?"
"You certainly can...Adriana…this is Cosette..." Belle held the baby up.
"Oh, how precious!" The armoire said. She reached out and tickled Adriana under the chin. "And aren't you the apple of your mama and papa's eye?"
"Oh yes...especially her papa, aren't you sweetheart."
Adriana gurgled and all of her toys clapped their hands.
"Oh my! We have a little sorceress, don't we?"
"Yes. Rumple's had to rein in some of her powers..."
"Ah . . .well . . .your papa knows best, doesn't he, sweet thing?" Cosette cooed. "This one's gonna break a lot of hearts when she's older. Or her papa will when they come a'courtin' her!"
"Belle...I think I'll lie down a bit," Marie said softly.
"Go ahead, Marie...and Rumple already wants them to run a gauntlet...him, Bae and Archie...he was the cricket who stayed here for a short time."
"Can't say I blame him." Cosette giggled. "Mine used to say he was polishing up his crossbow . . and it just might go off on accident if any boys startled him while he was doing it on the porch!"
"In Rumple's case it wouldn't be an accident..."
"No, the Master's always been overprotective of his children. Why, he wouldn't let Bae out of the castle for months after Rasputin cursed him. Oh, the arguments that boy had with him! But the Master wouldn't budge. Not till he knew Bae was safe from anyone who dared to harm him."
"Oh I have so much to tell you about our life in the new land..."
"And I'd love to hear it, honey," Cosette said. "So let's put your little one down for a nap and then you can talk some with me."
"Okay sweetheart...sleepytime..." Belle said to her daughter.
Adriana yawned and closed her eyes when Belle rocked her and soon she was fast asleep. Belle put her down her in crib and then she talked with her old friend for an hour while her family and guests all settled down in the former Dark Castle, returned at last to the Enchanted Forest where it had all began.