A/N: HEYYYY! I am back! Back with style! XD THis one is kind of sad... Leave a review and tell me what you think!

Prompt: Gems And Jewels

I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
Till I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

And I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone
But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist deep in thought because when I think of you
I don't feel so alone

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh, darling I wish you were here

~Vanilla Twilight by Owl City

The sky was dark, the stars above veiled by wisps of black cloud. Clouds that seemed to descend to the earth in shrouds and oppress the already mourning night. The lamentations had stopped, leaving the realm silent and the streets darkened. In fact, it was a few hours till the candles would burn, lighting the valley in a fiery glow. A dedication to their beloved Lady, a friend and ruler.

Elrond stood wilted on his balcony, leaning thoughtfully on the balustrade with a frown creasing his features. The half elf's silver eyes hopelessly studied the pools of water below and solemnly -almost to the point of numbness- he was silent. He didn't trust his voice to form words, not in the state he was in. So he secluded himself and stayed there. Stayed where he could be safe, where no pressure was found, and any thought of joy had passed to a distant memory. An untouchable relic that brought nothing but heartbreak. A wall formed, keeping it in; holding back emotions, thoughts, worries.

And where there was once peace, discord built, warring within him. What emotion or expression wished to be expelled, was blocked by his will. An unconscious protection against the horrors that seemed to follow him. The uncanny survival instinct that got him through an uneasy childhood. Like a dam it held up, keeping what was inside from pouring out. All hurt, all memories, restrained for the sole purpose of strength. For the sole purpose of the fear of breaking down. And like a dam, the walls would soon break. He wasn't sure when, and he wasn't sure how long he could hold the facade; or what the point of it was.

It had only been a few days after Celebrian sailed, and he failed to vent. To let anyone in or to express his feelings. It wasn't fear of weakness, but rather the fear of what would happen when he broke down. What would happen to him? What would happen to his sons? His daughter? What would happen if he decided to join Celebrian in Valinor? Despite his worries, that was all he really wanted. That was what his heart yearned for, to leave this life, this painful heartbreak, joining his beloved where they would never be parted.

Yet, he couldn't, and was brought back to his original dilemma. Coping with grief. But how could he do that? After all the promises, the pain, the losses? He hadn't been able to save her, not emotionally. He had failed at his one job, and no matter the odds, that was on him. That was his fault. The thought brought new tears to his eyes, and he blinked them away angrily.

Failure! His mind screamed at him. Useless! You're useless! You're nothing! These were the things he felt capable of expressing. What else could he express? What good things could he say about himself? The Lord of Imladris fingered a golden wedding band that rested in his hand, unable to look at it. The jewel bestowed to him on his wedding day. The day he received the most gorgeous gem in the world. Celebrian. Her name brought tears to his eyes. No. He wasn't able to cry. He couldn't. Yet, he wasn't able to keep his mind from wandering.

"Will you be my wife?" He had asked, kneeling to one knee on the garden floor. He had watched as realization flashed across Celebrian's eyes, and her expression changed. She had grinned like a child and ran to him. The elf Lord had been shocked when she wrapped her arms around his neck, saying yes more times than he cared to count. He had promised to be there for her, and to love her and keep her from harm. That had been when he cried, the very first time his tears had been of joy. They had spent the rest of the night in the garden together, stargazing and laughing. With the gorgeous jewel that changed his life.

It had been one of the best days in his life. The day he had been accepted, to love her and to keep her safe. And I failed. Hot tears formed in his eyes once more, streaming unbidden down his cheeks. He was powerless to stop it, just like everything else. They came more heavily each time the elf thought of it. Each time he reminded himself of his uselessness. What good was being the best Healer in Middle Earth, if his loved ones died? It was another reason to leave, by boat or the grip of death, he didn't care.

Useless!

A knock on the balcony door made Elrond flinch, but he didn't care to look back. He knew who it was. Spirit heavy, Arwen slipped in beside him, wordlessly leaning on the railing. She didn't speak, and was likely in his same predicament. A situation he would rather not have had her or his sons go through. The choice to fade, and stay alive. The hardest decision they would ever make, and one he had already considered. But it seemed everyone around him was cursed to his fate. To his choices.

"Adar...?" Arwen asked timidly, voice cracking. Her eyes were red from crying, and her hair was severely disheveled, implying the look of misery. Elrond turned, standing a little straighter. He unconsciously attempted to make himself look stronger. It did little to hide the obvious pain. His only daughter, he and Celebrian's pride and joy, flung herself at him, waiting for no permission or invitation. The girl shook, breathing heavily in a failed attempt to pull herself together. Elrond lurched backwards, not expecting the action. But any shock, any mask or facade quickly melted. It all disappeared as he watched his little girl break.

"Adar, I want Naneth," She sobbed, burying her face into his robes, unaware of how childish her words sounded. Elrond clapped a hand to his mouth, stifling the sob that begged to come out. She had been mourning alone. She had been left to deal with grief on her own, condemning her to a world of pain. Valar only knew where Elladan and Elrohir were. The thought prodded at his failures, and once again he felt like slapping himself. What kind of father was he? Focusing so much on his woes, he had left his children to suffer on their own. Broken. The elf Lord wrapped his arms around Arwen and he pulled her into an embrace, caught between anger and mourning. She sobbed again, frame shuddering violently as her arms constricted around Elrond's chest. "A-Ada, please don't go. Don't l-leave us." The words were muffled and incoherent. Yet, he heard them loud and clear. A pang of regret swamped him and he held her tightly, closing his eyes. Would the pain ever end? The pain that followed him everywhere. Would he be able to endure, endure something he should long ago have let in? The elf Lord felt his stomach lurched, and a knot tied in his throat. There was another question, one more pressing. What would he not do for his children?

"I won't." He said shakily. "I swear to the Valar, I won't."

Because in the end, the pain was worth it.

A/N: Not sure how well this turned out. I was really tired when I wrote it... *shrugs* The next one will be more funny and enjoyable. Review replies below.

Review replies:

LadyLindariel: Hahaha! Most likely! XD Good thinking. I am sure you and Elladan could get it done together. XD

ShadowTravel: Haha! Really? Well that's awesome! I like German... math is okay. XD And the only way to get better at writing is to practice. Yeah, she's more like a sister (really old) sister figure. I have her as a young recruit in Beneath The Storm... not sure why! XD I don't think it's the same universe.

nyx thranduillion: HAHAHA! YASSSS! AWe thanks! XD

Lord Illyren: Awe thanks! XD I know I could've done better... but... *shrugs* XD

SSD~