sorry for the mix up between chapters. here's the right chapter twenty one :)
"Come on, Reid" Morgan said as he opened the door of the front passenger seat of his SUV for him to get out. Once Reid was standing Morgan carefully guided him, with one hand on his back, up to JJ's front door- she'd know what to do.
Reid could distantly hear Henry excitedly saying something just before the door slowly opened. JJ was standing in front of him, Henry clinging to her leg like he had at Christmas…
"Spence?" JJ asked as Morgan hurried him inside, he was looking worse by the second. He'd gone a ghostly pale colour and his eyes looked vacant of any sign of life.
"I didn't know what else to do" Morgan hurriedly said as he kept a hand on Reid's back to stop him from collapsing. JJ quickly nodded, took Reid's arm and guided him back into the spare room as Morgan and Henry stood helplessly.
"What happened to him?" JJ asked quietly as she came down the corridor and Henry hurried towards her, he was obviously worried about Reid despite his young age.
"I found him at the cemetery… with a gun" He said quietly, the last sentence a whisper so Reid and Henry wouldn't hear.
"Oh my god" JJ gasped as Henry clung to her fingers on the hand that hung close to him.
"I didn't know what to do… He just kept saying sorry" Morgan said, his eyes distant as he remembered Reid, the closest he had to a brother, with a gun to his head. "Shit!" He almost shouted despite Henry being in the room. He reached inside his pocket, pulled out his phone and quickly called Garcia.
"Hey Morgan" Garcia answered in a voice that told Morgan she was trying to put on her disguise of happiness despite everything that had happened- or rather because of everything that had happened. "What's up?" She sighed.
"Garcia, I need you to get down to Prentiss' grave" He said in a rush of word as he paced the floor and ran his hand over his head.
"Why? What's wrong?" She asked as she grabbed her car keys off of the kitchen counter top.
"Reid left his gun there…" Morgan could just about hear Garcia shutting her front door and the faintest little clicks of her shoes on the ground outside.
"Why'd he do that?" Garcia asked worriedly.
"I'll explain when you get here" Morgan sighed. "Oh, and they'll be a photo frame there… it'll be somewhere near the gun. Bring that too"
"Alright, I'll call you on my way over" She said as he heard her slam her car door behind her. "Bye" She finally said before the line went dead.
"Yeah" He said quietly even though he knew Garcia couldn't hear him anymore, he really needed her right now. Despite the image he built for himself he was a mess, Prentiss was his partner and he hadn't been there for her when he needed her most. Now he'd let his best friend slip into a place so dark there wasn't a way out. He needed Garcia- his little ray of sunshine even in the darkest depths of his mind.
"I'm gonna get Will to take Henry out for the day… Reid needs us" JJ said quietly as she absentmindedly stroked her son's soft blonde hair. Morgan nodded so JJ took Henry's arm and led him into what Morgan presumed was JJ and Will's bedroom.
Shortly after she came back out without Henry and there was a small amount of noise coming from the room. "He's going to take him to the zoo…" She said and gave that smile she used to try to hide her pain when really it only highlighted it. "I don't know how I couldn't have seen it" She said quietly, leant against the counter top and pushed the hair out her face.
"None of us could have… But we got to him in time" Morgan replied with his eyes fixed to the floor.
"But I was with him last night… I should have seen how bad he was and stopped him from leaving. I should have talked it through with him and made sure he was alright instead of just telling him to try and get some sleep…" JJ explained and rubbed her eyes.
"JJ there was no way-" Morgan began but he was cut off.
"Mommy!" Henry shouted as he jumped out of the bedroom with Will behind him. "Zoo, Mommy! We goin' zoo" He slurred out in his broken language with a big grin.
"That sounds awesome" She said as she grabbed him off the floor and swung him into the air with her best attempt at a smile which little Henry wasn't at an age yet to see past.
"You come too?" He asked with that innocent face and a little hand on her cheek.
"No, buddy, Mommy and Uncle Morgan are gonna do boring grown up stuff" Will said, exaggerating certain words to make Henry giggle. JJ passed their son over to him and gave him a thankful smile; Will replied with a little nod to his wife and Morgan then carried Henry out of the house with his car keys.
"You know this isn't fault, right?" Morgan said seriously and looked JJ dead in the eye.
"Yeah…" JJ sighed even though she knew she could have stopped this all. She could stop anymore pain and suffering happening, she was just choosing not to.
Morgan gave her a warm but sad smile as his eyes flickered over to the door that led to the spare room Reid was in. Morgan heard a buzzing and looked behind him to see his phone vibrating. He quickly answered and heard Garcia's familiar voice. "Morgan, what's up with Reid?" She asked concern even more obvious than before.
"I tell you when you get here" Morgan repeated to her with a little sigh as he thought about telling her what Reid had done- what he'd tried to do.
"Morgan, Reid wouldn't just leave his gun there… or that picture frame. Just tell me he's ok?" She pleaded into the phone as she hurried across town with the gun and photo frame on the passenger seat next to her.
"Garcia I…" He paused for a moment as he realised he was about to say he was fine. Physically, yes. Mentally? He was a wreck, worse than Morgan had ever seen him. "He's in a bad place but he's not hurt, I promise" He replied, hoping his words would comfort her.
"What does that mean?" She asked slightly indignantly.
"It means I need you here to help him get better, not on the other side of town asking me about him" He said, letting his anger slip out at the wrong person.
"I'll be there in 5" Garcia quietly replied and hung up without saying goodbye. Morgan rushed to say sorry, to explain he just needed her right now, not just for Reid but for himself. He hadn't meant to upset her; he just needed to get his anger out. The only person he wanted that anger directed at was Doyle. He didn't want him in jail, he wanted him in a shallow grave where no one would find him, he thought bitterly.
Morgan ran his hand over his head and clenched his eyes closed for a moment before opening them again. He walked up to the door of the room Reid was in and paused there for a moment and listened but he couldn't hear anything so he walked back to JJ.
"What are we going to do?" She asked her voice slightly hopeless. "We can't just send him back to his apartment"
"I know…" He sighed and looked over to the door again. "Could he stay here for a while until he gets his head together?"
"You think he'll stay?" JJ said with the smallest laugh as she thought about him sneaking out that morning. "He only slept four hours here before he got up and left, locked the door behind him and dropped the keys through the letterbox. You really think I can make him stay?"
"Well, what do you want me to do? Drop him off at his apartment with all the damn memories of Prentiss and hope I get there in time when I get the next message, hope I wake up early like today and get to stop him putting a bullet in his head?" Morgan argued, trying hard not to yell.
"That's not fair" She said, her eyes fixed on the floor as the shame inside built.
"No, JJ, It's not. But is any of this fair? Is the message he left on my phone fair? Is seeing your best friend standing next to the grave of your partner with a gun to his head fair? What if I slept in? Is it fair that I'd have to live with the guilt of my best friend's death all because I was fucking tired?" Morgan retorted, his whole body shaking as he thought back to Reid's hand on the gun, seeing him so ready to end it all.
"Morgan I-" JJ began to apologize but there was an urgent knock at the door which she quickly answered.
"Where is he?" Garcia blurted out as she stormed inside, dropping the photo frame and gun on the kitchen counter.
"He's in there" JJ said and pointed towards the door. "He-" JJ tried to explain but she couldn't she already felt tears prickling at her eyes.
"Let's just sit down for a minute" Morgan sighed and gently guided the shaken Garcia out to the living room and sat her down with JJ close behind.
"What happened?" Garcia said, tears threatening her eyes.
"He tried to commit suicide" Morgan said quietly.
"Oh my god" Garcia gasped as a silent tear slipped down her cheek. "Is he alright? I've gotta see him" She blurted out and tried to get up but JJ stopped her from moving.
"He's fine. He just…" JJ said then realised she was lying, he wasn't fine. He was a mess and Garcia would already know that. "He's a wreck, Garcia. He hasn't said a word since he got here… He's freezing cold and the only thing he really looks like he cares about is the purple sweater he's carrying" She said with a sigh.
"Have you checked your phone for messages?" Morgan asked, hoping against hope he hadn't sent her one too.
"Yeah… He didn't send me anything" Garcia whispered, almost as if she knew what he was thinking.
"What about you, JJ?" Morgan asked as he turned his head towards her.
"No…" She said, looked round then remembered putting it in the dining room so quickly went to get it.
"I need to see him, Morgan" Garcia whispered making eye contact with him as an extra plead.
"In a minute, Garcia. I promise" He whispered back.
In the dining room JJ was checking her messages when she came across the voicemail. She paused for a moment before hitting play and pushing the phone to her ear. "Hey JJ, It's me" Reid said quietly down the line. "I'm sorry JJ… I'm sorry I'm just not strong enough…" His voice switching to a whisper as his voice struggled with the tears.
"Oh god" JJ whispered back into the phone as the first tear escaped from her eye.
"I really want to be but I'm not. I… I want to be there for Henry when he graduates high school and get him into college and be there for whatever he needs" Reid whispered., breaking JJ's heart a little more with every word.
"He's still got Garcia, though" He said with the tiniest of laughs.
"No, Reid" She begged, forgetting he was only a few steps away in the spare room. "He needs you"
"She'll get him into Yale, JJ" Reid promised across the line. JJ felt a few more tears slip onto her cheeks but she quickly wiped them away.
"By time I even got to that age I'd already have driven myself crazy and be institutionalised like my mom… I'm losing my mind over Emily… And calling those guys to take my mom was the hardest thing I've ever done. I don't want you to have to do the same for me" He continued, his voice crackling even more as he said Emily's name.
"You won't go crazy, Reid. Please don't do this" She pleaded with him, another tear slipping onto her cheek.
"I'm sorry, JJ. Tell Henry I love him and now I'm his own little angel" Reid finally concluded in a whisper.
"No, Reid. Please… I'm sorry… Don't go" She begged the recording but the line went dead. She burst out crying and dropped the phone onto the floor, shielding her face from the tears that began flooding out of her eyes.
Morgan and Garcia heard the phone drop and raced into the kitchen only to find JJ in a heap on the floor, tears streaming down her face. JJ had forgotten it was just a recording, she'd forgotten Morgan had stopped it from happening. To her those were Reid's last words because of her lying to him. She gasped for air through the tears as she tried to beg Reid to not leave her. She struggled for air as her lungs grew tired but she forced out a whimpered "I'm sorry"
What do you guys think? Do you like focusing on some of the other team or do you want more on Reid? Any feedback would be great; it only helps the next chapter to be even better :)