A/N: Because I enjoy writing drunk Max... Here's another chapter.

"Faaanggg," I sighed from the back of his bulky black SUV. "Why do we have to leave the partaaaayyyyy?"

"Because you just shamed your entire family and will probably be going viral in a few hours," he informed me bluntly, drumming his fingers against the wheel.

"Oh," I giggled. "But that's good... If I'm viral, I'll be famous, right? And then I'll be in mooovies and super riiiiccchhhhh, and I can be like, 'Jeb..." I moved my hands around wildly, trying to build the effect. "'Jeb, eff you!'" I declared triumphantly. After a pause, I spoke again. "Fang?"

"Yes?" He sounded irritated, like I was a bothersome mosquito by his ear and he wanted nothing more than to smack me.

"Do you think I'm pretty?" He paused, and I could see the gears turning in his head. In fact, I was surprised there was no smoke streaming out of his ears.

"You're gorgeous, Max," he murmured.

"Then... Why did you kiss Lissa? She's a bitch. God, I hate her. I feel like I already said she's a bitch. Did I? Well, even if I did. Lissa's a bitch."

"That she is," Fang agreed, seemingly relieved at having found a way out of answering my question. I, however, didn't let him off so easy.

Snickering to myself, I hoisted myself into an upright position, leaning forward to rest my head on Fang's seat.

"Youuuu didn't answer my questionnn," I sang, nudging him with my fist. "Why did you kiss bitchy Lissa if you think I'm sooo gorgeousssss?" He struggled for a moment under my surprisingly steady gaze.

"Max... Dammit, Max, I kissed Lissa, and you kissed Sam, just... Just get over it already, okay?" I leaned back into my own seat, considering this.

"What if I don't want to?"

"What?"

"I saiidddd, 'What if I don't want to?'" He spared a quick glance over his shoulder to check if I was serious. He came nose-to-nose with my smirking face.

"You're... You're just gonna have to," he commanded. I crossed my arms stubbornly.

"Boo you. You're noooo funnnn. I'm fun. I think you'd be moreeeee fun if you just realized that... I loooovveee you more than I'll everrrrrr love Sam or you'll evverrrrrrr love Lisssssaaaa!" In true Fang fashion, he ignored this and remained silent for a while more.

"Shit," I groaned loudly. "Shit! Wait, Fanggyyy?"

"What is it, Max?" he said through gritted teeth.

"Did you hear everything I said?"

"Unfortunately, yes." I bit my lip, studying him.

"Oh. So you know I think you're hootttt?"

"The cat's out of the bag," he confirmed.

"Oooh, nooooo!" I exclaimed suddenly, putting both my hands on my cheeks like a toddler. "I didn't break up with Sam! Poor Sam. Am I cheating on Sam if I think you're hot? Where is Sam? Poor Sam. He's so stupid. I don't want to date him. I should break up with him." Decidedly, I searched my pockets for my phone. When I didn't find it, I wasted no time looking for a solution.

"Fanggg, if you really think that I'm gorgeousss, will you give me your phone?"

"No."

"Pleaseee? I need to break up with Sam! Because thennnn I can think whoever I want is hot when they're hot because Sam isn't my boyfriend so I don't have to think he's hot even if he is, just a little bit! Not as hot as youuu, Fangy. Does that make sense? I hope that makes sense. You know what? I think I might be a little, teensy, tinsy drunk right now."

"No, really?" he said sarcastically.

"Yeah, I know. Who would have guessed?" I agreed, mistaking him for earnest. I continued running my hands over my pockets, still searching for my phone. "Oh! Here, I found my phone!" I held it up so Fang could see, and got to work.

"Sam," I read aloud as I typed. "I am very sorry-well, not really because he's sooo stupid, and it's like, 'Dude, go back to kindergartennnn!'-I am very sorry to do this, because..." I searched for the keys on my phone. "How do you spell 'because?' Wait, there's a song about that. B-E-C-A-U-S-E, BECAUSE, BECAUSE, B-E-C-A-U-S-E, I CAN SPELL BECAUSE!" I put a hand to my head, groaning. "Ugh, sooo many letterrrssss. 'Bc' will work for hic! These purposes... Because you are very nice, but Fang is verryy nice, has a brain, and is HOTTER... than you." I stuck my tongue out. "Looveee, Max... Or, I guess, not so looveee, because I'm breaking up with him, right? Oh! I didn't tell him I'm breaking up with him... P... S... I think... That... We... Should... See... Other people. Done! Why does 'should' have a 'l' in it? Oh well! Se-" Just as I was going to press the send button, Fang snatched the device away from me.

"Maximum, I swear to God, if you send this text, you will regret it in the morning," he hissed.

"Ha, ha... That's soooo considerate of yoouuuuuuu!" I groped the air for my phone. "But I don't think I will." Fang sighed, grumbling curse words to himself just as we reached my house. My heart raced in fear.

"Noooo!" I begged. "Fanggggg...Please don't make me go insideeee!" He rolled his eyes.

"Jesus, Max. I can't just drive around with you all night. Your dad will be pissed, but he'll get over it in the morning. So just go inside and deal with it," he commanded.

"No," I pouted. "I won't goooo!" Fang, being a great deal stronger than me, ignored this and picked me up once again.

"Come... On," he grunted.

"You're so meeeannnnn," I complained. "At least you're not as mean as Jeb. I call my dad Jeb. Did I tell you that? And you're nicer than hiiimmm. Because you almooostttt hit me. Remember, on my biirthdaaaay? With your carrrrrr? Jeb doesn't almost hit me. He hits me sooooo harddddddd... It reallllyyyyy hurtttssss, too." Fang tightened his grip on me. "Ouchie! That huuuurtssss. I'm all damaged and stuff, remember? I have bruuuisesssss, silly." I rolled up my shirt, exposing an entire stomach of black and blue skin. I pointed at it. "Seeeeee?" Pausing, I looked up at him to confirm that he, indeed, saw the bruises.

"Faaanggg! Why aren't you moving?" I giggled in a whiny tone. "You can just put me on the couch inside. I haaaatteee nightssss here. It's soooo scarrryyyyyy... You know what he did on my birthday this year? When you almost ran me overrrr?" Fang's head moved back and forth almost imperceptibly, and I noticed that my skin was almost turning blue from how tightly he was holding me. "He did it againnn a few other times, too... He got soooo badddd when you guys started hating me... That's why I go to all the parties, Faaangg! I don't wanna be heeree. I can't tellllll you what he did... He has a gunnnn, you knowwww... He hatttessss me, and that's a direct hic! Quote from him. He wants to kiilllll me. He'll probablyyyy kill you if he sees you... But I don't waanntttt you dead. Maybe... Maybe you should leave, Fang... I hear dying's noooo fun. But you're no fun either, remember? I hope... I hope he doesn't do that..." I snapped my fingers obnoxiously, conjuring up words in my head. "That thinggg again... That I can't tell you about? It hurts soooo goddammmnnn much, Fang. It hurts more than allll the hits and knivessss combiiiinedddd! That means a lot, you know. You wouldn't know though... Your family is sooo nice. You're sooo lucky. I wish I were you."

"Max. What. The fuck. Does that. Mean." I stretched comfortably in his arms.

"You're silly. Why are you still here? Rememberrr? I tooollddd you. Jeb won't wanna find you hereeee... He'll killlll you if he knows that yooou know... Did that make sense?" I sighed sadly.

"Godddd, Faannngggg... Sometimes... Sometimes I hoooooppeee he kills me soooner rather than laaaattterrrr, you know? So, so much less paiinnn like that." I then proceeded to giggle as if this was the most hilarious thing I'd ever heard. "Fang? Faaaanggg? Why are we walking back to youurrrr carrrr? I don't live in your carrrr! Remember? I live in... Theeeeeerrrrre!" I flailed my arm towards the house. "Fang?"

Once again, he loaded me into his back seat, back stiff a board. He seemed to take greater care to be gentle this time when buckling me in, which I loathed. Sympathy-even the warranted kind-was despicable to me. I was a big girl; I could handle my own problems. Besides, what good would 'sorry' ever do me?

"Faaaaanggg?" I repeated. "Did you heeaaarrrr me?" He didn't seem to notice that I spoke, instead just hopping into the driver's seat. As realization began to sink in, I flailed wildly in the back. "Noo, nooo, please Fang! Don't tell, please don't telllll! I'm too oooolllldddd to be a foster kid, Faaaangg! Please!" If you tell anyone, I'll deny it, but there might have been some tears shed on my part.

"Go to sleep, Max," he murmured. "We'll talk in the morning."

"Noo, Fangggg. Fang, Fang, Fang. He'll killl meeee," I muttered drowsily. "I caaan'ttt leave."

"Please, Max, just go to sleep," he begged hoarsely, keeping his eyes trained on the road.

And so I did.

A/N: Oooh... Drama! Happy New Year's, everybody! Review!