A/N: I am sincerely sorry.

"do you remember the way that you touched me before

all the trembling sweetness i loved and adored

your face-saving promises whispered like prayers

i don't need them

i need the darkness — the sweetness — the sadness — the weakness

oh i need this"

- "My Skin"
by Natalie Merchant

I held her hand as they cut off Diane's life support, whispered the words that I'd always wanted to say but had never gotten the chance to until it was too late. You were my queen. You were my princess. You were my goddess. I could have stolen away any maiden, spirit, or goddess and I chose you. I chose you and loved you and cursed you and killed you…I am sorry…I am sorry…

And then the doctor eased the tube out, her aura faded as it came with me, (her life flickered before her eyes, as they all say it does) and she was gone from the world.

To the mortals it would seem as if Mr. Thanem was simply sitting there with his head bowed as he held a lifeless hand, but in reality, I was standing in the cold November air with a beautiful spirit in my arms. She gripped my cloak, knowing what was happening, and lay her head on my chest. Her spectral hair glowed white as the wind ruffled the nonexistent locks and I caught glimpses of her life as it continued to flash by.

Terror. Fire. Tears. War. Hate. Loss. Love. Life. Me.

She didn't deserve such a life.

"Can you see your name?" I asked her, like I have asked any of my clients who were calm enough to answer. I didn't expect a positive reply — no one ever sees their name.

* * * A RULE WITH ONE KNOWN EXCEPTION * * *

But none of them ever really see me either.

She looked up at the sky. There was no moon and the heavens were black, oh so thickly velvet black, sprinkled here and there with diamonds of stars.

"Yes," she whispered. Her eyes were stars, too. "Yes, I can see it."

We flew — she and I, together, we flew. I did not bother with shadow travel. I wanted to fly with her, my beautiful Diane, take her for one last ride. I had never shown her what it was like to fly and now I felt guilty. We hadn't had enough. Greedy as I sound, I wanted more of Diane even as she wanted less of me — and yet, when I left, we hated ourselves and most of all, each other.

"So this is it," she said softly as I set her down and led her, hands locked, through the doors of DOA. "This is what it feels like to die."

I took her hands and pressed a gold drachma into her palm. My voice was barely a whisper and my head was down. "I'm sorry."

She accepted the coin and closed her fist, her head down. Then she looked up at me and, with a touch of her gentle fingers, lifted my chin so we were eye to eye.

"Hey," she said with a weak smile. "I almost forgot."

I didn't see her fist coming until it was too late. It collided with my jaw and I stumbled, very ungracefully, backwards. Pain shot up all the way into my brain and for a dizzying moment, I couldn't think.

And then, before I knew it, Diane's lips were on mine and mine on hers, her arms around my neck and pulling me down for a long, lusty, last kiss. Small gasps as our lips separated and the silent, burning passion as we pressed them together again. Tongues touching, hands caressing the other's face, my fingers threading through her hair and hers threading through mine. It was a beautiful thing — I didn't want to let her go and at the same time, knew I had to.

But it so happened that I didn't have to face the pain of letting her go; she did it for me, breaking the connection and pulling her lips away slowly, gently, softly, our foreheads brushing and threads of my hair mingling with hers. My jaw still hurt from her punch and my entire body tingled from the kiss. Her eyes were still so bold and blue and beautiful as they met mine — no dead woman's eyes should have been so hauntingly alive.

"I hate you," I said.

She just smiled and gently touched my cheek, exactly where she had hit me. "I never break my promises, Thanatos."

Then she turned and strode to Charon's desk with all the grace of a queen, leaving me behind breathless and motionless. Charon gave her a knowing look, nodded once, and led her towards the elevator doors, which opened on their own and let the two in. Diane turned, met my eyes for a final time, and called eight last words —

"Take care of our child. I love you!"

And then the doors closed between us, cutting off a love that was never enough.

"I love you too," I whispered back, my words echoing in the silence of my sorrow.