Imperfect
Five years later
"Where's mommy?" asked Greg when he saw Katie sitting in the living room alone watching cartoons and eating a bag of Oreo's. Katie stopped in mid bite.
"Mommy said I could have the cookies," protested Katie. Greg squatted down next to her and took a cookie. He somehow doubted his daughter's claim about being allowed to have the whole bag of cookies in the living room in front of the TV.
"Because..." prompted Greg.
"She said she had to go upstairs and do something very important and if I left her alone I could have them all and watch Dora," she finished the cookie in her hand and went for another one and Greg took the bag away.
"Why don't go outside and play. I'll go see what she's doing."
"But," pouted Katie.
"No buts." Katie smiled at him.
"You look very nice." Greg had just come from court and was still in his suit and tie.
"Just because it works on your mom, it's not gonna work on me."
"Really?" asked Katie.
"Really, go outside." Katie groaned and Greg watched her go out back and to her sandbox. Greg headed upstairs to see what Jenna was doing that was so important for her to hand Katie free rein of the house. He looked into the bedroom and didn't see her. The bathroom door was shut and he knocked on the door.
"Jen." He didn't hear anything and he opened the door and found her sitting on the floor next to the bathtub with her head in her hands and she was trying not to cry.
"Hey, hey what's up?" asked Greg sitting on the floor next to Jenna. She just shook her head and wouldn't answer him. Greg touched her shoulder and she started crying.
"I can't…I can't do this again Greg. It hurts too much." He looked down and saw the pregnancy test on the floor; positive. He leaned over and wrapped an arm around her and let her cry. He sighed he knew how it hurt to be here, he just never realized how much it hurt her until last year.
"Oh honey. It's gonna be alright." She wiped her eyes and looked at him and he hated to see the look of hurt and loss in her eyes
"You said that the last three times and it's gotten us where? Two miscarriages and a stillborn. I don't know what to do?"
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He didn't know either; they had starting trying for another baby after the wedding and started on fertility drugs that December. They could get pregnant; getting the baby to term was another issue. Jenna had two miscarriages in two years and after last year when Jenna had gotten pregnant for the third time since Katie and they almost made it to term when she went into another early labor and the baby, another girl had been stillborn. It hurt to explain to Katie that the baby they had named Brianna, was with Nanny Clarissa, it hurt even more to see Jenna become a ghost of herself. She wouldn't talk to him or anyone else. She dropped weight and had no interest in her work or anything else.
"Is mommy gonna be ok?" asked Katie one morning while Greg was trying to get her ready for preschool, Jenna was sleeping and hadn't been out of bed for almost a week. Greg was going to call in a shrink tomorrow morning and see if anything could be done. He had tried and he didn't know what to do anymore to reach her, it was like she was just quitting on him.
"I…I don't know honey." He sat down next to Katie at the table. "She's just very sad."
"Oh…cause of Brianna?"
"Yeah, she really misses her and it just makes her really sad." Greg was determined not to let the four year old see him cry and he kissed her forehead. "Come on, we're gonna be late. Go upstairs and get dressed. I left your clothes on the bed."
"Kay." She headed upstairs and Greg threw the dishes in the dishwasher and got Katie's lunch around and she still wasn't back yet. He headed upstairs and heard Katie in his bedroom. He peeked in and saw Katie on the bed talking to the lump he assumed was Jenna.
"Mommy…you need to get up. Mommy." Katie sighed and put her head on the lump. "Mommy there's something you need to know, when you're in bed, daddy lets me drink beer and wear my kitty ears and drive Uncle Nick's truck. He also not very at picking things that match or making sandwiches…he cuts them into rectangles mommy! Rectangles!" He thought he heard the starts of a laugh and he saw Katie disappear under the blankets and Jenna talking.
"Hi Katie-monster."
"Hi mommy."
"Daddy cuts them into rectangles huh?" He hadn't heard her talk in weeks and he wasn't going to interrupt.
"Yeah and looked what he's making me wear!"
"Did you tell him that the plaid skirt and the monkey shirt don't match?"
"Daddy's a boy and they don't understand." He heard her start to laugh again and Katie spoke up. "He also can't do hair…will you put my hair up." He heard her sigh.
"Yeah go get me the brush and ties." Katie crawled out from under the blankets and went into the bathroom. Jenna sat up in the bed and looked at Greg.
"The monkey shirt with the plaid skirt?"
"They both had blue in them," said Greg defending himself. Katie got back on the bed and Jenna started brushing her hair, she divided it into sections and gave Katie two braided pig-tails. Jenna kissed the top of her daughter's head.
"Go put on the white shirt with the blue sleeves and that will match."
"I can't reach it, it's in the closet," said Katie. Jenna got out of bed and went into Katie's room and found the shirt. Katie put it on and smiled.
"Thank you mommy." She hugged her and Jenna bent down and hugged her tighter. "Oh don't break me."
"I love you pumpkin." Katie went to walk downstairs and Greg stopped her and looked at Jenna.
"How about we play hooky today?"
"What's that?" asked Katie.
"We stay home and be lazy and we don't go to work or school just for today," said Greg.
"Can we mommy…please?" Jenna looked at Greg and gave him a hint of smile.
"What did you have breakfast?"
"Frozen waffles," said Katie and Jenna looked at him horrified.
"You gave my baby frozen waffles!"
"And frozen pizza, soup in can, spaghetti from a box," rattled off Katie. Jenna shook her head.
"Go get the mixing bowls and flour and I'll make you some real food." Katie ran down the stairs and Jenna looked at Greg. "Frozen waffles and rectangle sandwiches?"
"I'd tried…and failed epically according to her." Jenna hugged him and he held her close, she hadn't let him near her in weeks either.
"I'm sorry," said Jenna.
"Don't scared me like this anymore, please." Jenna went to answer and was interrupted.
"Can we put chocolate chips in the waffles!?" called Katie.
"We'll talk later." She went downstairs and she made them waffles with chocolate chips while Greg called Katie's school and told them she was sick and he called Catherine and told her he wouldn't be in tonight.
"Jenna's functioning," said Greg.
"Really?"
"She's out of bed and making homemade chicken nuggets and fries."
"Wow. What did you do?"
"I dressed Katie in plaids and solids."
"Oh Greg. I'll call in Nick for you and explain what's going on. And Greg."
"Yeah."
"She's gonna be alright."
Greg hung up and looked in on Jenna and Katie rolling the chicken in spices and smiled at her. They spent the day just hanging around the house and watching movies with Katie. They put Katie to bed later on that night and Jenna looked at Greg and hugged him again.
"I'm sorry for everything," said Jenna and Greg looked her in the eyes.
"I was scared out of my mind for you, please don't do this again."
"I just…I know how much you want kids and I can't give you that and it hurts and I was just scared that you weren't going to stay and…" he kissed her and just held her.
"I would rather have you and I almost lost you. Ok, don't think that I would give you up for anything." Jenna nodded and they went to bed. When Greg got up the next morning, Jenna was out of bed, dressed, getting Katie ready for school and getting ready for work. She's back. When she came home that night they talked some more and agreed, no more fertility treatments, no more trying. In the future they decided that they would start looking into adoption or see if they could get a surrogate, that it would be easier on both of them this way.
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"I know I've told you that before and I also told you I would support any decision you made. If you wanna keep this and see what happens I'll support it, if you wanna call Minhi and have him end it now I'll understand that," said Greg. He just wanted her to be ok; he couldn't stand seeing her sink back into that depression she had been in. She looked at test on the floor and sighed.
"I don't wanna tell anyone until we're sure this one is going to be ok. Not your parents, not Katie, no one. I'm going to make an appointment with Minhi for tomorrow morning to see what he thinks. If this doesn't work this time…we'll just cross that bridge when we get there." Jenna looked at the test on the floor and picked it up. "Here's hoping."
"Here's hoping," said Greg.
They didn't tell anyone for months; even though people started guessing when Jenna started putting on weight and was starting to show and that he was calling and checking up on her all the time when he was on shift.
"Greg…Jenna's pregnant again isn't she?" asked Archie one night when they were looking over tapes from a robbery at a nearby gas station.
"Well we…she…yeah."
"I thought you guys were gonna stop trying the 'old fashioned' way."
"Well we weren't trying and here we are."
"How's she doing so far?" asked Archie.
"Ok." Archie gave him a look and Greg caved. "She taking care of herself but she really isn't 'excited' about it yet and we're almost four months in to it."
"Well do you blame her for holding back the happy dance? I mean you guys have been trying for what four years now and it's kind of been one let down after another for you guys, especially for her."
"Not really, I just keep hoping this isn't going to end up like Brianna once was enough. Dealing with the miscarriages was easier than actually seeing a baby," said Greg.
"How do you feel about number four?" asked Archie.
"Scared out of my mind…we're seeing the doctor after shift for the ultrasound."
"I still won't be able to clear up the picture so don't even bring it in." Greg grinned.
"You tried to clear up Mandy's didn't you?"
"She made me sleep on the sofa when I couldn't."
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Five months later
"So they made mommy go to sleep so she wouldn't feel anything and they took the babies out of her and now you have a little sister and a little brother," said Greg. He was walking down the hall with Katie to the room where Jenna was recovering.
"Really?"
"Really."
"Is that why mommy got so big because there was two of them in there?" Greg almost started laughing from the dead serious tone coming from the five year.
"Yes honey."
"Oh…why couldn't they both be girls?"
"Because," said Greg. He really didn't have any clue how to explain 'why' to her. He thought explaining how the baby got to be there was hard enough. Katie looked up at him and wrinkled her forehead.
"Not gonna tell me are you?"
"I'll tell you when your older."
"When?"
"When you're thirteen," said Greg. She made a face at him and just held his hand. Greg poked his head into Jenna's room. "Hello." Jenna sat up in the bed and Catherine looked at him from her chair and smiled at Katie.
"Hello sweetie."
"Hi Aunt Cat, hi mommy." She let go of Greg's hand and jumped in the bed. "Where are they? I got them a present," she pointed at the gift bag he was holding.
"The nurse had to get them from the baby room and they'll be here in minute. You have to wait a minute," said Jenna. "I see Daddy got you dressed alright...but really honey…skulls?"
"Aunt Julia and Uncle Danny did it," said Katie proudly of her shirt with skulls and crossbones.
"Why am I not surprised?" asked Jenna. Catherine just laughed.
"Well I'm gonna go meet Grissom, Sara and Emily at the airport. You be a good girl, you're a big sister now, kay."
"Kay."
"See you later Greggo," said Catherine and she headed out. Katie put her head on Jenna and Greg took Catherine's seat.
"So how are they?" asked Greg. Jenna played with Katie's hair.
"Since you left an hour ago, ok. So what did you get me?" Greg shook his head and pulled a bag of Skittles and a can of Pepsi out the bag.
"For mommy." He than pulled out a little pink bear and a little blue bear. "For them."
"I picked them out," said Katie.
"Thank you sweetie," Jenna kissed Katie on the top of her head.
"Well I think this is the place," said a nurse peeking in. "I think I have something you guys want." She pushed two little beds and put them next to the bed. She looked at Katie who was staring at them with her mouth open. "Here you are sweetie; I'll come back and get them when you want some sleep." She left the room and Katie crawled over Jenna to peek at them.
"They're so little."
"Well you were littler," said Jenna.
"Uncle Nick said I had to be in box when I was born."
"Because you were so little they didn't want you getting sick so it was a special box," said Greg looking at Katie and recalling how worried he was about her.
"Can I hold one them please? I won't drop it, I practiced with my baby at home," pleaded Katie. Greg looked at Jenna and she smiled at him and nodded.
"You have to sit very still," said Greg. Katie nodded and took up her spot next to Jenna and he picked up one of the twins.
"Ok now you have to hold the baby's head carefully…remember we talked about the soft spot on the head?" She nodded gravely and Greg put the baby in her arms.
"Katie-monster say hello to your new sister Melissa," said Jenna.
"She got your tan," pouted Katie looking at her mother than back at the baby.
"Well Toby didn't so don't feel bad," said Jenna. "She has your daddy's big ears though so it's ok."
"My ears are not big," said Greg picking up Toby to stop his fussing.
"They are a little bit," said Katie quietly holding the baby. Greg just looked at her with his mouth open.
"Oh I'm hurt…well you just remember where you got that curly hair Miss Sunshine."
Toby was sleeping again and Greg put him back in the bed. Toby was a splitting image of him, curly light brown hair, brown eyes and both them were fair skinned and it was freaky to see his mom pull out baby pictures of him and compare them with Toby, if not for the age of the photo you couldn't tell them apart. Melissa had Jenna's dark complexion along with the dark brown hair.
"My arm hurts now," said Katie. Jenna took Melissa back from her and held her for a minute before handing her to Greg.
"They should wake up in a little bit for dinner. So tell me about your day Katie-Monster."
"I went shopping with Aunt Julia and Uncle Danny…
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Katie was sleeping in the chair on the other side of the room, Toby and Melissa had been taken back to the nursery to sleep and it was just them. Greg pulled up his chair next to Jenna's bedside and took her hand.
"Hey."
"Hi," said Jenna she leaned back in the bed and looked at her left hand. "I miss wearing ring, damn fat fingers." She fiddled with the chain it was on now; she had stepped out of the kitchen and was more focused on the business end of things and could wear her ring like a normal person. He squeezed her hand.
"Oh don't worry I take it and have it resized for you. So how you feeling?"
"A little sore, a lot tired, relived." She smiled at him and yawned. "You gonna take Katie home and go to bed?"
"I think we're gonna stay here with you. Is that ok?" She shrugged and settled in to the bed.
"I hate hospital beds."
"You get to come home tomorrow and sleep in your bed," said Greg stroking her head.
"Sleep…with twins. You are a funny man."
"Than I suggest you sleep now while we have nurses on call to take care of them." Jenna yawned again and Greg watched her fall asleep. He leaned back in the chair and noticed that Katie was curled up and Jenna was trying to do the same thing in her bed. He toyed with her hair and kissed her forehead.
"Night baby." He leaned back in his chair and soon dozed off.
"Was it worth it?" asked Jenna before wheeling her in to surgery for the C-section.
"Was 'what' worth it?" asked Greg. Jenna shrugged.
"This, being with me despite me driving you crazy and well everything?"
"Duh," said Greg. Jenna took a deep breath and watched the doctors around her prepping. He felt her hand tighten in his.
"I'm scared."
"Nothing is going to happen I promise," said Greg. The doctor Minhi came up to Jenna and gave her a shot.
"Now we're going to ask you to breath into the mask and count backwards from ten. Can you do that?" She nodded and the mask went on.
"Ten, nine, eigh…"
"She's out." Minhi and the other doctors started the C-section and Greg just held her hand and watched her to make sure she was ok.
You were worth it baby, every imperfect, happy moment was worth it because it was you.
Fin
Notes-I plan on posting a preview of my Nick and Tatum story here and I may pick up what happened with Greg and Jenna before I'll hold your hand 1 and 2 and maybe some one shots about Greg the dad.
I hope everyone who read liked the story and will keep reading.
Thanks for the adds, reviews, and just for reading.