HA… I can tell you right now, you guys are so gonna kill me…
Anyways, hope ya'll enjoy. The muse is feeling funky… not bad… just… odd. You'll see.
Oh, and before I forget…
WARNING ( HERMIT HIDEAWAY, PAY ATTENTION) beware ingesting any liquids while reading. Choking and computer damage may occur, and that's not good. We will now bring you back to your regular scheduled reading.
:D
Usual Disclaimers STILL Apply
I heard Lula's car before I saw her parked at the curb on the corner. Not that that was unusual, but it brought a smile to my face. I could count on Lula for a good dose of happy, including lots of unhealthy food and straight up, non-judgmental, advice for my problems. Of course, that meant I was going to have to come clean about everything, while trying to avoid measurement specifics, but it would be worth it. If I didn't share this problem with someone soon I was going to explode. I scurried into the passenger seat and yelled for pedal to the metal, checking for stealth men in black tailing me. I guess my hide & seek with the cameras in the garage had worked, at least for the next few minutes - thank god the Rangeman vehicles were large and bulky because that made them perfect hiding tools.
"Girlfriend, Batman is going to send your white ass to a third world country without donuts if you keep sneaking away from lockdown like this."
"I know, I know… I just couldn't help it!" I yelled over the pounding bass. "I was going crazy!" Lula grunted in assent, as if she understood.
"Uh-huh, just don't let Batman ship me off with ya – I need my donuts and Tank lovin'." Lula commented between songs. I snorted, but it was cut off by the start of the next song on Lula's CD. With the volume too loud to talk, I found myself actually listening to the lyrics. Oddly enough – and against my will, the bass thumping rap song brought tears shot to my eyes.
DMX
Baby I am what I am, I'm gon' be who I be
Everything from chasing a cat to pissing on a tree
Let me see what I gotta to see
Do what I gotta to do
Dog for life but keep it true
Every once in a while I'll break out the backyard to roam
And get reckless
But I still know that home is home
And when I get there I'mma sit there
Take a shit there put my dick there
Do I handle my business?
Shit yeah
I'mma run till I bust my gun and empty the clip
Never come home, I gotta go just gimme the whip
I ain't got time for the lip
Just open the fence
Let me go I'll come back
I ain't got time to convince
Ever since I was a pup
I've been stuck with the street shit
Keep the heat shit
Fuck it nigga gotta eat
I past on a weak shit
If it's out there I want it
All at one time
So when it's my time I've done it
My thoughts instantly were on Ranger, and the MerryMen, who I had grown to love over the years. The men who were at this very moment risking their lives for the safety of others. I'd always made things difficult for all of them, like now, when all they were doing was saving the world one scumbag at a time. I bit my lip, staring blindly out the window at the passing scenery as I continued to listen.
Aaliyah
I know you'll kill for me
You'll die you me
I know you like to rip and run the streets
But I get nervous sometimes
Ooh baby I can't help to think
You might not make it home to eat
I barely sleep
Could you pick up a phone and call me at home?
And let me know you ain't in some heat
And don't go crying, you're grown
You know I'm looking out for you
Cause you be looking out for me, me, me
Chorus
Yo you can go with your dogs
If you make this promise to me
You make it back in one piece
So you can go with your dogs
If you make this promise to me
You make it back in one piece
'Fore you go betting it all
If you make this promise to me
You make it back in one piece
I know you up in it all
If you make this promise to me
You make it back in one piece
Aaliyah(DMX)
And oh boy I know you got to do what you do, ooh-ooh
You're making moves, I'm makin' moves yo we cool
(What? What? What?)
Lay on your paws I got your back if you fall, hey-hey
Nothing's to big, nothing's to small just go ball, yeah
I didn't even try to pretend I didn't have tears streaming down my face at this point, not caring if Lula noticed or not. They started in earnest at the words 'kill for me' and 'die for me' – and there was no stopping them now. Unbelievably enough, this song I hadn't even known existed – sung by two people I didn't even know the names of, represented everything I was feeling. I felt like that one thing was what had been missing from my sort-of relationship with Ranger, was the fact that I never did get those promises to come home safely to me. Ranger never hid the fact that he was risking his life every single day, and I understood that, to a point. I craved to hear the words that, no matter what, he would protect himself enough to make it back in one piece.
DMX
Uh dog tags around my neck the streets are mine
I might leave the heat behind
Cause in the streets I'm fine
That's why niggas sleep till nine
Out by ten back by ten
Sleep till nine do it again
If you love something let it go
If it comes back to you it yours
If it doesn't fuck it you'll never know
You got me I got you, uh
Dog with a dog, ride till we die
If it's on then it's on
That was so Ranger, I thought through a tear blurred smile. The streets were definitely his… and his philosophy was easily recognizable as 'if you love something, let it go… if it comes back to you, it's yours'. I guess the real question was where we went from here. The problem with that one, I realized, was all me. I was running away again, but it was going to stop right here and now.
An idea began to spark in my mind, and I gnawed my lip, considering.
"Uhhh… white girl?" Lula's timid voice brought me back to the present, and I blinked to find us parked in the mall parking lot, with the car off. I hastily swiped at the tears on my face, sniffing pathetically.
"What song was that Lula?" I asked, my throat clogged with emotion.
"Aaliyah & DMX – Come Back In One Piece… why?" I don't shock Lula often, but I had to say she looked pretty damn confused at the moment. I shook my head, dismissing the question and flipped down the passenger seat visor in a vain attempt to fix the mess I had made of my face. I hate crying.
"Steph… girlfriend, what's wrong?" The genuine concern in Lula's voice almost had me crying again. Damnit, hadn't I heard your emotions went out of whack when you were pregnant? I didn't want to be a bawling mess of ugly red splotchy tears for nine months!
"PREGNANT?!"
Oh Shit. I said that out loud, I realized, as Lula and I shared a wide eyed stare.
"You had better start explainin' your skinny ass." Lula threatened, rhino mode brewing.
And I did. The entire thing spewed out of my mouth like… well if I wanted to get realistic, like morning sickness. Gross thought, but probably something in my future.
I told her about my epiphanies, I told her about informing Ranger about our relationship status and our ensuing date, I told her about the numerous bouts of sex with the least amount of details she would allow, I told her about forgetting my birth control, I told her about the stalker and Joe and Batman being jealous and the fact that he hadn't once mentioned the baby. By the time I had gotten to the shootout call in the midst of our talk Lula was frozen with her mouth hanging open in shock. Literally. I didn't think I had ever seen Lula so still.
And you know what she said when she regained the function of her mouth?
"You ran away with the BatBaby when there is a stalker loose on your skinny white BatGirl ass?!"
I smiled.
"Girl, you done gone nuts."
"Nope, I obviously needed this." I grinned at a blinking Lula.
"Take me back to Haywood if you would… because if you let it go, and it comes back to you, it's yours."
For once, Lula was speechless, but she did as I asked and put the car into reverse in a daze.
We were half way back to Haywood when Lula processed all the gossip I had just shared and found her tongue.
"Ha! This makes the present I had gotten for you that much better!" She burst out, taking her left hand off the wheel and digging around her backseat.
"What is this for?" I asked when she had thrown a plastic bag in my lap.
"I bought it for you after I found out about your date with Batman this past weekend." She grinned, bouncing (well, as much as the spandex would allow) in her seat with excitement. "Open it!"
I shook my head, and reached into the bag, pulling out a white small t-shirt. My first thought upon seeing the white cotton was that it was the most tame thing I would have ever pictured Lula buying for me… almost too tame. Of course, that was until I unfolded it and looked at the silk screened picture on the front.
"Oh God." I squeezed my eyes shut, wondering if it would be different when I opened them back up. It didn't.
"Lula! I can't wear this!"
"Why not? It's hot – I bet Batman would get a kick out of it – if he don't ship you off to a third world nowhere."
She was right, Ranger would probably laugh out loud at the sight of the Batman logo with boobs and the words Batgirl above it. It didn't mean I could wear it in public – I'd never hear the end of it!
( ( GO TO MY PROFILE PAGE FOR A LINK TO A PICTURE OF THIS IMAGE ) )
"Thanks Lula… I'll be sure to show Ranger and hopefully improve his mood." I grinned as I stuffed the shirt back into the bag, watching the RangeMan building approach.
"Ya know, if Batman don't mention marriage or that baby soon – you call me and we'll work on a plan. Lula will get you married with the Wizard whipped into shape in no time!"
"I appreciate it Lula, and I might have to take you up on it – I have a feeling things are going to be pretty hard for a while from here on out."
"Ya know what Jackie always said to me?" Lula inquired, pulling up to the curb. "Life is a dick… when it gets hard, fuck it." I blinked for a moment and then burst into laughter.
"I'll remember that."
"Yea, I'd remember that too if I had Batman in my bed."
I grinned as I opened the passenger side door, feeling ten million times better than I had when I escaped. I had good friends, a Batbaby, a man who loved me… even if we did need to work on some things, and the resolve that I was going to try and work on those things with him. Life was looking up… as long as I didn't get crated and shipped.
"Thanks Lula, for everything." I said as I slid from the seat, flashing her my brightest smile.
I waved from the sidewalk at her retreating car, and turned to the garage entrance of the RangeMan building with a deep breath. I couldn't tell if any new cars had arrived, but I hoped Ranger wasn't pissed and waiting upstairs for me. I had plans and that wasn't a part of them.
Ranger would lecture me I'm sure, because I was embarrassingly unaware of my surroundings, which is why I didn't hear or feel the person who suddenly appeared behind me, wrapping me tightly in a band of muscle.
I was right, wasn't I ?
HA!