Disclaimer: Divergent belongs to Veronica Roth

Chapter 21

I roll over on my uncovered mattress and sigh, gazing at the ceiling. I spent all day in my unused apartment alone and not talking with anyone. Even when it was lunch time, I couldn't bring myself to get up and get something to eat. I'm sure Christina would have brought me something back if I asked, but I don't even think she knows that I'm back. So I laid here. And stared at the ceiling. I never thought a plain white ceiling could be so interesting.

The only things left in my bare apartment are the mattress, an empty dresser, a nightstand, and an alarm clock. And, well, myself. Presently. I turn my head over to the clock and see that it's 5:00. I'm starving, seeing as I didn't eat breakfast or lunch, so I guess I should get up.

But I'm reluctant. I am not in the mood to see Tobias, even though I plan on talking to him later. Much, much, later. Hopefully.

While here, I've had plenty of time to think about the matter regarding Evelyn. And while, I can kind of see why Tobias kept the things he did from me, it doesn't prevent it from hurting. I still wish he would have said something. Like telling me that she was alive, for starters. Still, though, he kept it from me. Why? As far as I know, he never hesitated to tell me things in the past. But that's the thing. As far as I know. Has he been keeping other things from me? I don't even want to think about that. I guess I just need to confront him and sort things out. Because as much as I wish it didn't, it hurt to be away from him knowing that we were causing each other pain.

Just one more reason to talk.

I sigh, and swing my legs over the side of the bed. Once I'm standing, I head over to the little bathroom and look in the mirror to see what damage has been done today. Leftover mascara residue is left streaked on my face, probably from all the crying I've been doing today. Shaking my head at myself in the mirror, I grab an old towel and turn on the sink.

While I was my washing my face, I hear a knock at the door. Groaning, I turn off the faucet and dry my face with my sleeve. More than likely it's Tobias wanting to talk. But he's going to have to wait until I'm ready, especially because he's technically the cause of this mess.

I walk to the door anyway and use the little peep-hole in my door.

It's not Tobias; it's Christina, looking worried. I swing open the door, and her face lights up and she tackles me to the ground in a bone-crushing hug.

I laugh for the first time that day, and hug her back. After a while, she rolls off of me and laughs too. I nudge the door closed with my foot, and look over at her.

"Tris!" she yells, sitting up. "No one knew where you and Four were! We thought you guys, like, ran away together or something. Or, you know, died."

I shove her playfully. "No, we didn't die." Maybe I shouldn't tell Christina about what really happened. I'll just tell her we were visiting my brother if she asks. Which she will.

"Then where the heck were you?!" Chris is yelling, and while she's not mad, you can tell that she is serious and is demanding an answer.

"We were visiting my brother, Caleb," I reply, acting nonchalant about the whole matter.

"You could have at least told someone where you were going! We wouldn't have worried so much." Christina's eyes look desperate.

"I know, we should have. I'm sorry." I'm sincere when I tell her this. If I knew I was going to be kidnapped by Jeanine, believe me when I say I would have told someone.

Her eyes soften, and she hugs me again. "Okay. Now what happened, though? When I saw Four today, he looked a mess, and asked me if I had seen you. I was so shocked and happy to see him back safe, I just stared at him and hugged him. Kinda awkward, but I wasn't thinking."

I force a laugh, and she smiles, embarrassed.

"Seriously, Tris," she says while getting up and sitting on my bare mattress, where I join her. "Four said you were with him all the time while you guys were, you know, missing, but that you needed some space and were hiding away in your apartment. Honestly, I didn't even know you still had your apartment, 'cause you spend so much time in his. I was gonna come and see you right away, but he told me to give you some time. I hope I gave you enough, but what happened? Did Caleb suddenly change his mind about you and Four?" Christina wiggles her eyebrows.

Okay, so maybe I hadn't thought this through. Huh. What on this Earth should I tell her? I know..."No. I'm just kind of upset with my brother, is all. He did some stuff that pissed me off."

Sensing my reluctance to tell her exactly what happened, Christina backs off. "Oh. Well I hope it all works out. Now, come on. You need to eat," she all but demands and pulls me up to my feet.

"Wait!" Crap. Why did I do that? I can't tell her I don't want to see Four. But maybe I can make it seem like I'm not the complete mess that I pretty much am.

Chris turns to me, eyebrows raised.

"I-uh-can you like give me a five-minute makeover before we leave?"

She grins widely, and without responding, drags me to her room.

When inside, she pushes me on the dark purple and black bedspread, and goes digging through her closet. She throws a low-cut black shirt with leather accents on the bed, and goes to her dresser for her smallest pair of dark skinny jeans. After this, she goes to the bathroom only to return a few seconds later with her makeup bags. Yes, bags. Christina digs through it, and pulls out eyeliner and dark eyeshadows.

"Pick one," she commands while holding out a black sparkly eyeshadow, a plain black, or a deep, deep blue. I shrug, not really caring.

She rolls her eyes, and settles on the plain black. After this, she puts on the rest of my makeup consisting of the eyeliner and mascara, and sets to work on my hair. Christina keeps it simple; just brushing it through. Then I grab the clothes I borrowed from her and change in the bathroom.

When I walk out her mouth drops. "Awesome! Now, shoes!"

Great. Now see what I got myself into? She's gonna make me wear heels.

But I'm pleasantly surprised. After fishing in her closet for a while, she pulls out black flats with a sequenced flower on the top. Not really my thing, but it's better than heels, so I accept.

"Okay, now look in the mirror really quick."

I sigh. "I'm sure it looks fine, Christina. I'm really hungry though. Can we head to the cafeteria?

"No, you have to just take one look," she commands, and steers me over to the full length mirror I didn't even know she had on the inside of her bathroom closet door.

I do look good. Significantly better than I did fifteen minutes ago.

I turn around and hug Christina. "Thanks, Christina."

She smiles. "No problem. Now lets go to the cafeteria before it closes at six."

I nod and we walk in silence to the cafeteria.

When I get there, almost all of the tables are filled up. Except our usual table, which has two reserved seats, courtesy of Uriah's and Zeke's feet. I smirk.

It's Uriah who notices me first. "TRIS!" He screams my name and people form other tables look over to see what the problem is. I blush. Uriah leaps up and meets me halfway and wraps his arms around me.

"Where were you?"

"Oh, just visiting family."

His facial expression changes, and he now looks like a father scolding a child. "Now, Trissy, you know you're not supposed to be visiting on non-visiting days."

I roll my eyes at him. "I know, Uriah."

"Don't roll your eyes at me, missy. Trissy. Hey, that rhymes!" Uriah attracts the attention of the rest of our table, as we were now at it.

The whole table rolls their eyes. I can't help but notice Tobias isn't here. He's probably in his room sulking. As he should be.

I get a lot of questions from the group, which was to be expected. I stuff myself with food, famished. All in all, dinner was okay.

I give Christina one last hug before I leave, and go to Tobias's apartment. I think I'm ready to talk. Well, I'm not really, but I just want to get this over with. Maybe I can sleep in my own bed tonight, instead of asking Christina for sheets.

I take a deep breath and knock. A short time later, I hear locks being undone, and the door opens.

Tobias stands in front of me, with his eyebrows raised, as if expecting something.

I sigh and say, "Can we talk?"

He opens the door even wider, allowing me to pass through. His room looks the same since I last saw it. All I want to do right now is curl up in his bed and fall asleep wrapped in his arms breathing in his scent. But I can't. So instead I turn toward him, and look up into his eyes.

"Look, I'm sorry I exploded at you earlier. I was just pretty upset. Which I still kinda am." I shift on my feet, slightly awkwardly.

Tobias sighs, and looks at the ground. "I know." He shakes his head. "I should have told you everything sooner. I-I-I don't know why I didn't in the first place. I was scared I guess." His eyes finally meet mine, and when he speaks, his voice comes out in a whisper. "I promise I'll trust you to tell you everything from now on. And I mean everything."

I nod. I still haven't quite forgiven him yet, but I have to get over it. We have to stop a war. My personal problems should not be a priority right now.

I walk toward him and stop right before him. I raise my eyes to meet his, and that's all it takes. He crushes me to him and buries his face in my hair.

"I was a mess today, Tris. You didn't come out of your room. I was so worried I did something I couldn't take back."

I shake my head, still wrapped around him. "I'll always end up forgiving you in the end. I couldn't live without having you around." I say it and I'm sure of it.

"It's still not an excuse for me to not trust you. I really was afraid you would freak out, though. But I realize now I should have just told you anyway."

I nod and pull back just enough to look into his eyes. Oh, God. Who am I kidding? Of course I forgive him already. I lean in and press my lips to his roughly.

He kisses me back and pushes me back so the backs of my knees are against the bed. I spin us around, and he sits down on the bed, with me in between his legs. We are the same height now.

Tobias deepens the kiss, and puts one of his hands on my waist, playing with the hem of my shirt. His other arm is wrapped around my neck. I slide my hands up his back feeling his muscles.

He does the same to me, and he massages my mid-back.

Some time later he pulls away, and looks in my eyes. His are glazed over. "I'll tell you everything from now on. I promise."

I nod and smile.

Once we are safely in bed and wrapped around each other, Tobias kisses my head and says, "I love you, Tris."

I smile in his chest. "I love you, too."

A/N: Okay so I thought I would update again today to make up for my missed week. And I really couldn't stand leaving Tobias and Tris all messed up. It was really bursting my bubble.

So thank you for reading and all the support!