Bella
Positive. I was pregnant.
And, not just a little bit by what the doctor thought. If I thought about when I was on the antibiotics, and the only time we were together during that time, it was really easy to figure out when it happened. Halloween. Before then I was sick and after that Edward was afraid to touch me for weeks.
Well, it wasn't our most romantic bout of loving making, that's for sure. It certainly wouldn't be a story we would be telling the kids when they were older. I snorted at the thought of it as I drove home from the doctor's office.
"Hey, kids! You were conceived on Halloween. We were hammered beyond all reason after hours of body shots and your father plowed into me like a..."
I could just imagine the round of ewwwing now. Comical, almost. I wasn't really in a laughing mood though.
I wandered mindlessly into the house, barely feeling my feet. A baby? Was I ready for a baby? Both my head and my heart screamed yes and no at the exact same time. I had never been more confused in my life.
I went to the kitchen and went to the fridge. The first thing I saw was a half drank bottle of white wine. I sighed heavily. I grabbed the bottle and drained it down the sink. I never needed a drink more in my life and I couldn't have one. I didn't want the temptation there.
Instead, I poured myself a glass of juice and downed one each of the iron and prenatal vitamins that I had picked up from the pharmacy on my way home. The vitamin was a horse pill and the iron made my stomach flip. I hoped that I got used to them.
I wandered back to the living room and sat down heavily on the couch. A baby. What a world. I was going to be a mommy. I was married. And, I was going to be a mommy. And I wasn't even twenty yet.
It all hit me like a ton of bricks.
I was too stressed and scared to think right then. I glanced at the clock. 5:30. Edward would be home soon. And, we were supposed to be celebrating that night. I had to tell him. I wasn't sure if it would make things better or worse. Would he be happy and it would add to the joy or would he angry? I had been on birth control after all. We hadn't been planning on starting our family yet and that part of it was my responsibility. And I failed.
Would we be celebrating two things or would he use that pretty brand new Volvo of his to run for his life?
I wasn't sure and it scared the hell out of me.
Edward
She... kissed... me. She kissed me! Irina, my friend. Had I ever given her the impression that I would want this? I asked her to dinner, but with my wife and myself. My wife. Bella. Oh, god...
It took a few seconds for everything to click together. As soon as her warm little hand touched my neck, trying to pull me in closer, I snapped out of my shocked filled haze. I pushed her back sharply while still trying not to hurt her.
"What?" Irina asked, her pale skin flushed and glowing, even in the darkness. She was still so close to me. Too close.
"I'm married!" I sighed the words, stating the obvious. I was having trouble finding my voice, still too surprised.
"I know."
"And, you know I love her. I love Bella." I stated firmly. I didn't want to hurt my friend. Was she confused in some way? I tried to think of how. I had gushed to her about my wedding, my honeymoon, my lovely little wife. I did all the time.
Irina turned her face away. "I realize that."
"Then why?" I demanded, feeling more than a little angry. The heat began to crawl up the back of my neck. I was actually beginning to sweat. Why would she put us both in such an awkward position?
"You said you would miss me!" She shouted suddenly.
"Yes! Because you were my friend! Nothing more, Irina!" I shouted back.
"Tell me you don't find me attractive then!"
It was my turn to turn my face away. I was embarrassed and angry at myself. I would not admit to her that I did find her attractive. That wasn't the damn point. "I love Bella."
"You do then!" She said with bright satisfaction in her voice. Irina had to know how she looked. Even I noticed how the other students looked at her.
"Irina, you're a beautiful woman! Of course, I do. That does not mean I would do anything to ruin my relationship with my wife. She is my world."
Her too warm hand slid up my thigh. "She would never have to know. We could-"
"No! We couldn't! We never could. And, I would know." I said, picking her hand up and moving it away from my lap.
"But! Ugh! You want me! I know you do!" She said desperately, her voice cracking.
"You're going to make me say it, aren't you?" I said, looking straight ahead. I felt so guilty. I didn't want to hurt her, but Bella came first. She was my friend, I didn't want to be cruel to her.
I never ever meant to lead her along. I would never do that. She knew of my devotion and love for Bella. I tried to tell myself that I had nothing to feel guilty about. It didn't quite work though. We had just gotten back to good after all that nonsense at Halloween.
"You want me!" She growled through her tears. "You do!"
Yes, she was going to make me say it.
"Irina, I don't. I don't want you in any way. Let me make this perfectly clear. I love Bella. She is the only one I will ever want. She is my everything and the simple fact that I would very literally die without her should be apparent to you now," I said in a rather cold tone. I hated it. I hated hurting her, even if it would end up hurting me in the end even more if I didn't.
"Edward!" She whined, touching my knee. It made me snap. How dare she touch me again? Why wasn't she listening to me?
"Get out. Get the hell out of my car!" I growled loudly, my tone final.
She sobbed, practically running from the car after slamming the door hard behind her.
I sucked in a deep breath and only one thought came to mind. I had to get home. I had to get to my wife. I had to tell her.
Bella
I tried to get myself in a more cheerful mood. Edward deserved a good night. He deserved to have it unmarred by my freak out. He worked so hard for it. I would be pregnant the next day. Hell, I would be pregnant for the next seven months at least. One day of not telling him wouldn't hurt.
I heard the door crash open loudly, scaring me. I was glad I set my glass of juice down because otherwise, I would have been wearing it. The door slammed shut and I heard Edward call for me frantically.
"Bella? Bella! Where are you?"
"Living room!" I called. "What's the matter? Are you okay?"
He came rushing into the room, his eyes glassy and frantic with his bottom lip trembling. He dropped to his knees in front of me and took my face in his hand. He laid heavy wet kisses on my lips. "Bella, I'm sorry," he began to ramble.
Had the doctor called him for some reason? Why would she? Unless something was wrong? But, why would she call him and not me first? My mind began to race with questions. He didn't even know I was going to the doctor!
"Please, don't hate me," he whispered, pulling me out of my panic.
"What? Why would I hate you?" I asked, totally confused. This was not the direction I thought it was going.
"Something happened. I didn't mean for it to."
"Edward, what the hell is the matter?" I sighed, exasperated with his cryptic pleading. I wished more than ever I could have that half bottle of wine I put down the sink.
Edward
I didn't know where to start. I looked into her deep brown eyes and saw that she was starting to get angry. I needed to get it out before I made matters worse.
"Irina kissed me."
"She what?!" Bella seethed, jumping off the couch to her feet.
"I didn't mean for it to happen! I swear it," I said, jumping to my feet as well to follow her wherever she went.. "She just kissed me! I didn't want her to."
Bella's hand shot up, shutting me up. "When?"
"What?" I asked stupidly.
"When did it happen?" Bella growled. She literally growled. It was rather scary honestly. "When did Irina kiss you?"
"Just now. Less than thirty minutes ago. I swear."
She sighed heavily, her voice strained, "Edward, I believe you."
I grabbed her hand, squeezing it tightly. "I love you. Only you."
"Sweetheart, I know," she said as she pulled her hand out of my grip. It literally broke my heart. I wanted to crumple to the floor.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, my throat constricting tightly as tears began to well up in my eyes.
"I need to be alone for a little while. I need time to think. I'm going for a drive," Bella said as she grabbed her purse from the coffee table beside her glass of juice.
"Please, don't go," I whisper as she walked out of the door. But, it was too late, she was gone.
Bella
When it rain, it pours, I thought to myself.
That bitch! I was literally seething. I had never been so angry in my life. I wouldn't be surprised if steam was coming out of my ears at that point literally. How could she do that? Anyone who knew Edward knew he was married. He bragged about it constantly. He was so proud of our marriage. Of us, of me.
No, I wasn't mad at Edward. But, I needed time. It was just too much at once. I climbed into my truck and brought it to life. I had no idea where I was going. But, apparently, my truck did.
Only ten minutes later I was parked in front of the music building at Centenary. Yes, it knows exactly where to go.
I didn't think as I stepped out of the truck. I just walked. I had never met Irina in person. I knew what she looked like in passing, though. I hoped she was still here. I needed to have a few words with her.
I moved towards the room I knew his lessons were in. I simply barged in, no knocking or anything. At the piano was a tiny blond, her back turned away from me.
She was alone. Good.
"Irina?" I called, continuing to walk towards her.
She turned slowly, her eyes alarmed with this random woman bursting in through her door and shouting her name. "Yes?"
I took the last few steps quickly. I let my clinched fist go the rest of the way, connecting with her pretty little nose. She shrieked as she fell off the bench and then onto the floor. Irina brought her hand up to her face, trying to stop the blood flow.
"Stay the hell away from my husband!" I growled at her.
"You're Bella?" She asked with wide frightened blue eyes.
"Oh? Do do this to a lot of husbands? Do you have trouble keeping track?" I snapped. I fought the urge to kick her while she was down.
"No! I just-"
"You just what?" I demanded.
"I didn't think he'd tell you!" She tried to defend herself pathetically.
"Really? Then you must not know him very well. What give you the right to force yourself on him?"
"I thought he cared for me!" She shouted at me.
"He did! He cared for you as a friend. You took advantage of that!" I hissed at her, my fists tightly clenched at my sides as my anger surged through me.
"I thought t-that-" She sobbed brokenly, not getting the words out.
"Why? Why did you like him so much, huh? Because he's a good man?" Irina nodded her head, still crying very loudly. I hated her theatrics even more. "If he did that with you then he wouldn't be."
She shook her head. "I don't care. He's the only one that understands me!"
"But, do you understand him?"
"I'm the only one." She sobbed again. "He… he tells me-"
"No. No, if you did you'd understand how much you upset him. You hurt him, Irina. You'd know that he'd blame himself for this right now, even if he did nothing. Even though he came to me right away and told me everything. He's going to be the one suffering because of this, not you and not me."
"But, he said he would miss me!"
"Did he ever say that he wanted you?" I demanded harshly. "Did he say he wanted you to kiss him? That he wanted to be with you in any way at all? Before or after?"
"N-n-no... But, but-but..."
"Did he kiss you back?" I asked her finally.
Irina hung her head in defeat. She shook her head slowly and tried to continue, but I would not let her. "But-"
"No! No buts." I growled out furiously. "Stay away from my husband. I love him and I will not allow you to hurt him. He doesn't want you. He never did and never will. Do you understand me?"
I turned and began to walk away. I couldn't care less about her answer because it didn't matter. She didn't matter.
I heard her cry hard behind me, "I didn't hurt him."
"Then I was right. You never really knew him at all."
Edward
I was a wreck. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if she would come back. I prayed that she would. I was nothing without Bella.
I watched as she drove away. I considered following her but like she said, she needed her space. The more I pushed the worse it would be in the end. I could not afford to make any more mistakes with her. I had made so many. Too many. Especially recently.
I flopped back onto the couch, kicking off my shoes hard. I rubbed my hands over my face roughly, just trying to think. I took my glass off and threw them on the coffee table.
"Shit! Shit, shit, shit shit shit..." I muttered to myself.
Could things never go right?
I stared blankly at the ceiling for I don't know how long. I felt completely useless. I felt like a complete idiot, too.
When I heard the tell-tale sound of her truck, I leaped from the couch and ran towards the door. My socks caused me to slide, slip, and fall. I was scrambling to get to my feet as the front door opened.
"I'm sorry," I started before she could say anything.
"Edward! Edward, are you okay?" She asked, stepping into the house. Bella shut the door behind her, locking it securely before hurrying over to me with concern written all over her puffy tear-stained face.
I nodded and grabbed her up in my arms. "Bella...I...I..."
"Edward," she sighed softly, resting her head on my shoulder as she pressed herself against me.
"I would never ever hurt you on purpose and I promise-" I stuttered, burying my face in her neck as I spoke.
"Edward! Shut up. Geez." She pulled on my hair, forcing me to look at her. Bella had a small smile on her face. "I know."
"But-"
"Shut. Up! I know. I love you and I trust you completely. I'm sorry I had to leave. I just needed a few minutes to myself to clear my head. It's been a really long day already. I needed to be alone but I'm not mad at you. I never was. I swear."
I looked into her eyes and saw that she was being completely sincere with me. I didn't know how, and I didn't know why, but I did not care. I lowered my lips to hers and kissed her softly. I needed to forget the memory of Irina's lips on mine. I needed to kiss my wife.
Bella smiled slightly with she pulled away, playing with my hair at the back of my neck with nails. "I love you, Edward."
"I love you," I sighed, kissing her forehead.
She started to tug me towards the living room. I let her do whatever she wanted with me. Bella pushed me down on the couch and sat on my lap, hugging my neck tightly. We sat there for a long while, just holding and kissing each other lovingly.
"You okay?" She asked softly after a while.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I breathed out softly. "You scared me to death," I admitted to her weakly.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled as she looked down at her feet.
"It's okay. Where did you go anyway? Did you just drive around?"
"I went and punched that bitch in the face."
Well, that wasn't the answer I was expecting.
I snorted, thinking that she was joking at first. Bella shook her head, her lips pushed together tightly. Finally, I said, "you didn't!"
"I wasn't planning to! I just ended up in front of the school and in the music room..." She trailed off. I started to laugh despite myself, rubbing my hand roughly over my face. I didn't know what else to think or do. "What?" Bella finally asked.
"Well," I began, "at least we have bail money."
She slapped my shoulder but laughed as well a little. Bella buried her face in my neck and sighed, "wouldn't that just be a perfect way to end today."
Well, that was a stressful day…
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