Explanation for my illness

Hey, I knew a couple of people were curious and the fact is that for six months last month I had an eating disorder after painfully ending a relationship with another author on this site. I wanted to punish myself for hurting her because I saw the whole thing as my fault. I ended up getting extremely sick and over the past two months I've been trying to gain more weight but the disorder weakened my immune system making the bug hurt even more.

So, because I love writing this at least as much as you like reading it against everyone's suggestions I've put up the next chapter because I wanted to.

Please read, and I do have to apologize because I brought this on myself

Myst

THANK YOU REVIEWERS CH. 19:

95Elizabeth, Ambuu, AnonymousSparkle, babyC.jelly.beany.bug, BandGeek99, Bleeding from the heart, Konoha Lotus, kouga's older woman, Kyki- The Late Night Writer, Kyonkichi-san, Lily Lorelei, luna-moonkitty, Mercyfyre, Mii-chan loves youu, mit-chan007, monkeysatemyhomework0.o, nami4027, Princess-goth, Purple Hime, raccu, raion, Rinny87, rockangel160, Sagesther, UltimateShipper2008, Vejhed, x-BlueEyedBeauty-x,

THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO HAVE RECENTLY ADDED THIS STORY TO ALERTS

AngelEtty, Bleeding from the heart, Jen4s, Kyki - The Late Night Writer, Lady Ayami, MiakaMemo, spidersilkx9

THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO HAVE RECENTLY ADDED THIS STORY TO FAVORITES

Bleeding from the heart, Lady Ayami, lilmisstwilightgirl, monkeysatemyhomework0.o

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket

Story Recommendation:

I have recently fallen in love with Sohma Mad House written by rockangel160. Since she's a reviewer an easy way to get to her profile and read the story is to find her on the reviews.

Why I love it

It is the most sadistic thing ever written, it's so cold and bitter that you can't help but to feel sorry for everyone and it's extremely creative as well. It's going to stay on my favorites list for a very long time. If you've been enjoying these few chapters with Haru I have the feeling you'll like this fic

CHAPTER TWENTY: NUMBERS FOUR TO TWELVE

The cold wind cut against her skin as Tohru tightened her hold on her protectors hands. She wore a long black coat, white blouse and black skirt, she was doing her best at walking in high heels although they did hurt. She would be seeing Akito soon and it scared her, what about her baby? Was her child going to be safe? The stars brightly twinkled above them and Tohru began humming Silent Night'.

"What are you singing that for?" Kyo asked drawing a hand through his orange hair, "Akito'll have a fit if he hears you singing...so stop it..." he stopped himself from saying anything cruel and instead let himself smile, "Stop it or I'll flick you."

Yuki looked at the two of them and heard Tohru's small giggles, he had to keep strong about this since Tohru had already agreed to their date. He had to be comfortable about that, what he didn't feel comfortable about was Tohru's reaction to how Haru was being treated. He had been too cowardly to say anything and it was too late now wasn't it?

As they approached the main house they saw a figure sitting down and blinked, someone was out here waiting for them? As they drew nearer Tohru clapped her hands together noticing that the figure was none other than Rin wearing Haru's white coat! "Isuzu-chan it's so nice to see you,"

Rin shot her a sharp look before shaking her head, it wasn't Tohru's fault, "Thanks, how's..." she gestured to Tohru's stomach, "That...thing..."

"Don't you dare call it a thing!" Kyo snapped at her as Rin looked away, "I bet you'll never have one, is that it?" he was mad at Rin for her random accusations.

"She's pregnant as well baka neko..." Yuki whispered before Rin got the chance to and the horse stood back baffled, she had always finished her own insults before and protected herself so it was a surprise that the rat was helping her.

"Anyway, we should get in...I want a chance to see Haru before Akito comes in," she took Tohru's arm and started to drag her to Akito's part as Yuki stood still. Haru, for two days he had been able to push Haru out of his mind and he didn't want to come here, he didn't want to see him and after hearing what Shigure and Hatori had said last week didn't want to.

He had started to subconsciously merged Akito, Haru and Kureno into one single entity that he had to hate. Very soon it would just be one "god" and his wooden puppets. Kyo looked at him as the rat started to slink away and frowned, that asshole was leaving Tohru on her own to get hurt by Akito! That was just not right! He felt an outburst try to leave him but instead refused to leave the girl's side. Inner Zodiac members were just too loyal to their god!

"Isu—zu--saaaaaa" the riceball slipped through the gate before falling over, she froze as she felt someone in front of her take her shoulders and hold her up. Rin smiled at this but Kyo was still unsure over what was happening. "Umm...aah! I was...I was..."

"Honda-san?" came the dull voice before there was the sound of a zap and the man's voice carried his pain, "Are you alright? Did you hurt..."

"I'm..I'm sorry," Tohru tried trying to back away but ended up touching something soft and warm resulting in...

A puff of smoke

As the lights turned on Tohru clung to Kyo's arm and viewed a rather round cow on the ground, she wanted to scream but stopped herself. That wouldn't be good right now but she was absolutely sickened by the state that he was in. Standing behind her Kyo felt the exact same.

A million thoughts ran through his mind each of them trying to say the same thing, that Hatsuharu Sohma deserved this pain, but no one did! No one! On each leg of the cow were these black bands sewn into his skin, there was even one worn over the forehead and all of a sudden there was another zap and Tohru could swear she could see the veins in his body.

As Tohru managed to get to her feet she moved over to see that the cow had parts sliced out of him were blood had turned black to cover it, there were scars and cuts and these huge marks that she wasn't sure where they came from. In random places on the ox's body you could see the pink flesh of the body. Of the black bands there were different numbers running from 4 to 12. The lowest numbers were on the legs, the highest on the stomach and forehead.

There was another shock and Haru seemed to shake until he was prompted back into his normal form by force, there was now this shaking boy with the worst scars imaginable and Tohru reached forward before feeling the shock run through her and screamed slightly. "Tohru!" Kyo snapped as the brunette started to cry at seeing this state, the tears wouldn't stop and as Kyo took her hand he saw a small burn mark. "What the hell did you do that for pathetic ox!"

Haru felt the tears down his own face as he reached towards Tohru, "Ho—Honda-san," he choked afraid before there was a bright burst of light coming from his forehead and Haru seemed to sob endlessly, he couldn't help it. "Mama," he whispered, "Please, please stop it...please..."

"Hatsuharu-san?" Tohru's brown eyes seemed to take him in but she was unable to comprehend this, those bands? Why didn't Haru-kun take them off, they were just velcro right? "Oh my gosh! I...I..."tears were in her eyes again and she couldn't grasp what she was standing long enough to understand it. This seemed like too much pain, it seemed so deadly, "I'm sorry Hatsuharu-san, if there's anything that I could--please let me help you..."

"It's..." Haru looked back at his clothes as Rin rushed to retrieve them now helping him put them on, they were so tight on him due to this quick weight gain. The poor ox looked down defeated, he couldn't even dress himself right now, he was so weak. "Okay...A--Master has probably been...waiting...for you."

"Master?" Rin blinked with wide eyes, did that mean Akito? That just wasn't right

"Damn ox deserves it..." Kyo thought aloud trying to convince himself of this unaware that everyone else had heard that. He took a step back noting his cousin sink deeper into depression, one pregnant girl holding her boyfriend like child whilst glaring and a girl who could do nothing but cry and apologize for everything going on.

"What the hell did you say!?" Rin snapped at him, her eyes narrowing to slits and she felt a shock on her own body as the shock collar sewn onto the cow's neck turned on and small cuts appeared on the teen's arms and legs, blood spilling out and small black strands of hair drifting to the floor. "Haru"

"I want Yuki" the cow whimpered, "I thought he was coming too...I want to see Yuki..."

Kyo felt his hand form a fist, now he knew what was going on with the rat, seeing Haru like this would make anyone pity him. This kid was useless, defenseless and...and it made Kyo sick to see someone this fat. He didn't want Haru to exist, as bad as it sounded he was in the cat's place. With Haru under his control Akito would let his cat be free right?

"Hatsuharu-san, Yuki-kun was...he was really near me...I, I don't know where he is right now but he's coming. Yuki-kun wouldn't let you down, and I, I'm so sorry. Oh god, it's my fault you're in here isn't it...I...I...I'm so sorry," she felt herself about to be sick and yet...

Rin stood up, putting her hand on Tohru's shoulder, "Can you watch him for me?"

"I..." the brunette spoke up before nodding, "I'll do my best Isuzu-san"

Rin nodded her head in appreciation before dashing out towards the centre of the estate where she had last seen Yuki and saw him standing there. "What the hell are you doing!?" she snapped starting to smell beef, she wasn't imagining it either, she was starting to smell beef and it made her...hungry.

"Rin?" he blinked looking at her before she slammed him against the wall, he could have blocked but he wasn't aware of what she would do, he didn't think that she would come and tackle him. "What are...are you okay?"

"Can't you smell that!!" she screamed at him, "He's in the worst pain of his life and he wants to see you! You could at least..."

"I don't want to see him," Yuki spoke delicately not wanting those deadly memories to catch him again, "It's hard to watch."

"You think!? You think that it's fucking hard to watch!! He's going through hell right in front of my eyes! Yet, when he's in pain does he ask for me? No, he asks for you because I'm good enough to be with him, to run to him! You wanna show some backbone any time soon!?" With a deep breath she looked into Yuki's eyes trying to dig up any soul that he carried. "Why don't you be a little girl and run to Hatori, bet he'd make you forget..."

"You don't..." the rat froze, "Haru's never going to be released, I know that now..."

"Damnit!" Rin cursed, "You really are stupid, it surprises me that he likes you so much. Of course Akito thinks he won't be released, and of course you'd believe that New Years is the last day of the year. It's no fucking surprise, what is a surprise is the fact that you're denying help to...I can't handle crap like you. I'm only here to get what he wants. I don't give crap about your personal life but he does!"

Yuki looked at the floor trying to force himself to put some strength into his words, to tell her about what he heard Hatori and Shigure say about him. He took another breath in before feeling a warm slap against his face as Rin hit him. "Where is he?"

Rin pulled on his hand to get to Haru but froze as they found a sixth person there, Akito!

The air almost choked them as Akito stood there with the cow bowed down next to him as still as a statue, his breathing balanced enough that he didn't interrupt the conversation. Kyo had his hand protectively in Tohru's as she took a step forward.

"A-Akito-san, I, I came but, but Hatsuharu-san..." Haru's eye widened as he shook his head, she couldn't be saying this right? Akito laughed running his hand around the poor seventeen year old's face. He touched his cheek and laughed softly.

"What about Haru? Are you sad that I have him? And...I thought that after he got this fat," Akito laughed as Rin frowned standing next to Yuki. She really wanted to kill "god" for humiliating her precious boyfriend.

"He isn't fat," Tohru spoke up as Akito laughed bitterly, he brought out a remote control that had numbers running from four to twelve. She blinked at the contraption as Haru flinched, scared of it. "Akito-san, I'm sorry...I...I..." she started crying.

"Do you want to know why your precious Hatsuharu is here?" Akito asked even though the two had had very little time one-on-one since they met one another.

"I..." Tohru paused before nodding, "I mean, if, if that's alright...I'd like to help him Akito-san..." Kyo held her arm tighter.

"Because of you," the god laughed pointing to Tohru, "He is going through this pain because of you!"

The brunette shivered a little not understanding this but Hatsuharu-san seemed to be in so much pain! It wasn't fair! "If I've..If I've upse--"

"You know what it's his fault not yours Tohru," Kyo snapped holding her back from the situation before she blamed herself. "It's because he's just the stupid ox..."

Akito frowned before looking to her ox she selected number twelve on high power and the band on his head reacted causing him to scream. His eye bloodshot and he felt it to run for a long time before being dropped back down. His mind was going to get fried at this rate and he'd become no more than a dumb animal.

"So would you like to take his place?" the god smiled coldly, "Afterall it's your fault isn't it? Your fault that he's here..."

"It's not Hon-nnn" Haru yelled as number twelve was hit again, "Stop it! I wanna go home! I wanna go home!!" he whimpered drawn into memories of his past.

"What if I were to..." Yuki asked stepping forward.

Hey, can you guys believe I spent six hours on just one chapter but I did my best to get it done.

I got given some painkillers and medicine but I have to go in to get some more treatment so this may not be a quick thing. Sorry everyone but I'll try as hard as I can to update quickly.

Thank you for wishing me so many good wishes

Fay Fay (Please call me Myst -, I dislike my real name being used on me)