A/N: Things are about to get a whole lot more angsty. It's gonna suck. But hey, it's fun, so here we go!
I'm absolutely thrilled for tonight. Unfortunately, I ate all the ice cream while watching Semper Fidelis last week, so I have no yummy snack to mindlessly eat while I watch with a wide open jaw, shocked and close to tears or jumping up in down. I suppose cookies will have to do. Anyone have something they'll be munching on tonight?
Is anyone going to the live chat with Cote de Pablo and Pauley Perrette today? It's at 1 PM PDT at . I'll be there as AutumnGray!
Dang. I'm excited.
Just thought I'd get that out.
Here's your chapter.
Oh, and thanks for the reviews.
You're fabulous.
Really.
This be the truth.
'K, later.
Ziva looked out her window. It was four-thirty in the morning, and the sky was just beginning to show signs of light, though it was still dark as night. Her long silk robe was wrapped around her and her brown curls were cascading about her shoulders. She leaned up against the tall window and looked out over the DC skyline. It was familiar. It was calm. It was so unlike that of the skyline in Tel Aviv, yet there was something about it that beckoned her like nothing else. It was a quiet morning. Few cars passed the streets, wet with rain which had paused momentarily.
So much had happened in the past months. So much had changed. And now, she didn't know where to go from here. She had ruined everything. She hadn't meant to. She was protecting him from the truth he didn't need to know… Just like he had for her. Everything she had done—putting her life on the line, keeping the truth from him—it was all because he meant so much to her. He meant everything to her.
Her heart was not one easy to win. She had kept up that barrier around it for so long. It had become impenetrable. Unfortunately, she hadn't.
"That's it," McGee said. All three team members were sitting at their respective desks. "You have to stop getting into trouble. I'm sick of doing paperwork and I think we'll be doing it for the rest of our lives unless you two get your act together," He said, closing yet another file only to open another.
Tony spread his hands a little and put on his most charming grin. "Sorry, McGoo, I was just doing my job," He said, a hint of mocking in his voice. McGee smirked. He didn't seem to mind the teasing as much this time—Tony was alive. He was actually missing it, and now that he was back, he didn't care… At least for now.
Tony turned back to his desk, avoiding even looking Ziva. He wasn't sure what to say. Heck, he wasn't even sure what he felt. He didn't know what he wanted to do. But he was pretty sure Gibbs would keep them on paperwork and cold cases until he and Ziva worked it out. For the past two hours, he'd been sitting at his desk, idly trying to figure out how to do that, typing now and then to be convincing for the other two.
Ziva was hard at work, like always. She was always focused, always concentrating at the task at hand. Tony smiled, remembering when she had butchered that idiom on an undercover operation with her. Those days were perfect. Those days were so long ago…
He knew it was childish, avoiding this apology. He knew he owed her one. He knew Gibbs was right. He just wasn't sure if he could suck up his pride and tell her so. And there were so many things that needed to be said, he didn't know where to start. Tony felt like his heart was about to burst. He couldn't go on with this for much longer. He was a ticking time bomb. And she was the trigger.
He swallowed. "How's your tea?" He asked, gesturing to the cup on her desk. Never mind that she had gotten her tea three hours ago and it had been long finished.
Ziva closed her eyes as her head was bent down, hovering over the paper in front of her. She didn't say a word. She couldn't.
"Hey, did ya hear me?" Tony tried again, his grin fading. Still no answer. "Listen, I--"
"I cannot talk right now,"
"Oh yes you can," Gibbs said, striding into the squadroom. Both of you. Come with me," The two looked at him, confused. "Now!" The stood and followed him into the elevator. He walked in and shut it off. "I can't afford to have my agents fighting. You need to fix this. Partners don't turn on each other. They stick together. Espciallly my agents. You work this out before I relocate the both of you," He turned on the elevator and the doors opened to the squadroom. "No one leaves this elevator until you work this out, got it?" Ziva and Tony nodded in turn, allowing the doors to slide shut.
Tony turned off the elevator, but only in submission to Gibbs. "Great," He said sarcastically. "Do you think…?"
"No, we cannot fake it. Gibbs would know," Ziva said.
"Yeah, you're right. Gibbs always knows…" Tony said. "So…" Ziva just stood there, not making eye contact. "Come on, don't do this to me,"
"Do what?"
"Well I guess the better term would be, 'Don't not do this to me.' You haven't looked me in the eye for a week,"
Ziva looked up at him, finally making contact. "There. Happy?"
"No, I'm not," He said.
She sighed. "What do you want me to do? This was your decision,"
"My decision? What, to lose my partner?" Tony said, his voice raising slowly.
"You didn't lose me. You chose not to deal with the issues at hand. You were the one who walked away,"
"You didn't give me a chance!"
"I gave you every chance. But you did not take it. You gave up," She said confidently.
"I gave up because I was tired of fighting!" Tony defended.
"And I agreed. We could have ended it right there and then but you walked away," Ziva said. Her eyes bore into his.
"I didn't think you wanted that," He said quietly.
Ziva took the slightest step forward. "We are partners. We do not just give up on each other," She said, sure of what she was saying.
"It wasn't entirely my fault," Tony said.
"I know," She said softly. Regretfully.
"I never meant to hurt you,"
"I never meant to hurt you," Ziva said in turn. "I was only doing what I thought was right. I couldn't let you die. Not again," She said.
"I never died in the first place,"
"You have died twice before, Anthony DiNozzo. First I watch your car get blown up. Then I see your apartment burnt to the crisp, and you lying on the bed… Enough was enough," She said, unable to finish her sentence.
Tony stood there silently, listening to her, really listening. "Ziva, I--"
"I do not want to hear it. I do not want to hear any more excuses. We have both exhausted every lie in the novel,"
"Book," He corrected.
"Whatever," She said dryly. "I want this to end,"
"How?" He asked.
She looked at him, unsure for the first time of what to say. "I do not know, Tony,"
"Well, please tell me it has something to do with a pizza," He said, sitting down on the floor of the elevator.
"There you go again! Hiding behind your jokes, your humor. You cannot do that forever, Tony!" She said, throwing her hands up in the air in frustration.
"I know," He said seriously. "But it's better than just killing people when I get frustrated!"
"What is that supposed to mean?" She asked, her eyes burning like fire.
"You don't have control of your temper. You're nothing but a killing machine," He said coldly.
Ziva stared at him. He had hit her right where it hurts. Her mouth was open as she stood there, stunned. "Who are you?" She pulled the emergency switch and pressed the ground floor button. The tiny room was icy as it slid down to the lobby. She began to walk out when she turned to him once more. "You are not the man I thought I knew,"