It's a helluva long way home, why don't you let me take you...

It's no good to go alone...I never would've offered...

But, you seem so real to me, and after all the bullshit I've heard

It's refreshing to see that I don't have to pretend...she doesn't expect it from me

- Sara Mclachlan

Lauren watched Arizona unbeknownst, much as a lioness watches the gazelle before pouncing on it... watching her as she calmly talked with the patients and soothed their parents...took in her excellent way of charming them, the curve of her smile...she noticed how the dimple in her left cheek was deeper than the other.. . And when they held eye contact..before Arizona would blush and look away...she felt herself finding more and more reasons to stay in Seattle.

Arizona discreetly wiped her hands on her lab coat, hoping Lauren wouldn't see that her palms were sweaty at the thought they were about to have to say goodbye and she had no idea what to say. She felt like she wanted to say I hope I see you again, or Come back another time, but Arizona also knew that having Lauren around was like testing the Grim Reaper, and those who cheat death should run as fast as their legs can carry them... ha ..an expression anyway?

Her adrenaline was pumping at the knowledge that Lauren was watching her, as she always did, whenever Arizona looked up she was faced with those absorbing green irises. But, Arizona feigned ignorance hoping that the elephant in the room would simply stay silent.

They moved through motions in the final minutes of post-op rounds before standing stock still in front of the nurses' station, casually charting...stalling...Arizona sneaking glances at her suitor's profile, strands of her blonde hair falling along the angle of her jaw, the smell of her perfume...she noticed their hands were only an inch apart on the countertop...it was if she could hear the seconds ticking away from the clock above.

Arizona prayed that Lauren would simply turn to her and say something extremely eloquent and professional, shake her hand and that she would never see her again...well she wanted to believe that she never wanted to see her again...for the sake of her life as she knew it...but the twisting of her stomach, she had felt those butterflies before..

-x0x0x0x0x0x0x0-

Luckily, partly due to her awesomeness as a surgeon and shear luck of the break, Callie was able to repair the fracture for the little boy in record time. She had scrubbed in.. did her part, while Karev had worked on a few stubborn bleeders internally. What was more surprising was that her wife had not been sighted on the PEDS floor during her short stay on the third level. Normally, she would peek in any surgeries for progress if she wasn't actively performing the repairs herself, Arizona ran a tight ship to say the least.

As, she scrubbed out... first, she would find Murphy...the girl had been hovering around the PEDS floor when Karev had unceremoniously dragged her into OR3 and she had graciously granted her time to watch Sofia for Callie. Then, she guessed she would just page Arizona herself from the nurses station. She shook off hands on her scrub pants and headed towards there.

-oxoxox-

Lauren felt as if the weighted moments that stretched before her and Arizona were crushing her, like she couldn't breathe. She had lost sleep replaying this goodbye in her mind's eye many times, dreaming of all the things they could be.. sometimes...the ending was surreal, sometimes bittersweet... could there be secret feelings revealed, a stolen kiss...a reason to stay...she had no idea if Arizona had the courage to truly live for the moment, to do as you want without the fears of what others expect or need from you interfering...could Arizona be truly honest with herself?

Calming herself, Arizona turned and offered weakly.."Well... I guess this is it...", she shrugged her shoulders, unsure of what you say when you're screaming inside, but can't be heard...

"yeah, I can't believe it's already time for me to leave...seems like I just got here...and we were just starting to get to know each other"..Lauren said, holding her amazing blue eyes with her own longing stare.

"yeah, I wish you could stay longer too", which is all the more reason you should go...Arizona was on fire inside, her heart pounding in her ears...

"I thought I might just leave in the morning...Lauren offered thinking... just give me a reason to stay...

"Oh really, well I know we'll be sad to see you go around here, the kids...they really like you...I really like you...all the words left unsaid.

"I loved working with them too.. Lauren left thinking...but how can I go when everything inside of me is saying stay?

She turned to walk towards the attendings lounge to retrieve her purse and belongings. She glanced sidelong to Arizona , as a silent question, to see her lean off the counter and move to walk along with her.

"So, if I have one more night in Seattle, what's one thing I should do?" Lauren smirked devilishly

The duo passed by Kepner in the halls, April smiling broadly at them, Lauren noticed that Arizona moved slightly away putting distance between when seeing a co worker. She knew she had to have some straight honesty from Arizona, and she would never know how Arizona really felt with all the hospital's prying eyes.

She searched quickly around and spotted an on-call room near the attendings lounge. She quickly grabbed Arizona's arm after Kepner had vanished from their sight, and ushered her inside, Arizona looked apprehensive with widened eyes but didn't pull away.

"wha...what are you doing...why did we stop?" Arizona said, her voice high and questioning once they were inside with the door closed behind them.

"I just had to know and I couldn't leave here without any regrets..." She left the statement open-eneded of what she needed to know because they could both feel the tension coiling between them like a tightly wound spring...

Arizona could see it all unfolding in her mind...Lauren's eyes shining, adamant, lustful, looking for the smallest yes...just one barely perceptible shake of her head and there they'd be...together on that bed just a few feet away, clothes and commitments forgotten... naked and sweating...kissing and grinding... the excitement building and rolling until it reached the unforgettable precipice that she had no doubt Lauren could bring her to over and over...her beautiful green eyes had been promising that for days without ever saying a word...

"Lauren...I..." Arizona faltered unable to make the words fall out of her mouth

"Don't think of what we both know you promised to do...just tell me that you haven't thought of this, fantasized about what if...that you don't want me too and I'll walk out that door", Lauren urged pulling their bodies close together, wrapping her arms around the small of Arizona's back. Arizona laid her cheek on Lauren's shoulder as they shared a what could seem a chaste hug, but inevitably could lead to disaster...

Again, Arizona felt as if she couldn't breathe...the seconds passed by...her life teetering dangerously like a high wire circus act...she couldn't imagine saying yes to another woman just days ago...how did things get so out of control...she knew when they pulled away from this hug in a few more seconds Lauren would most likely try to kiss her, and she knew if she allowed that to happen that all would be lost...those lips would lead to her straight to hell...

Lauren pulled away slowly, not wanting to scare her away much like you would try to coax a wild animal, she intended to feel the swell of Arizona's lower lip meet hers just once...Arizona raised her head ...their eyes meeting and holding...Lauren leaned in.. so close that Arizona could feel her breath ghost across her face..was she really going to?

Arizona leaned in at the same time...placing her forehead against Lauren's effectively stopping her from capturing her lips momentarily...they stood face to face..breathing shallow sharing the same space...

"I wish that I could give you what we both think we want...but...I'm just...Callie.." Arizona trailed off, knowing that giving Lauren an explanation would only serve to break her heart more...

"I'm not sure that I have the strength to say no, so please don't make me"... Arizona felt her eyes well up almost threatening to drop tears, so she slammed them shut.

Lauren felt her insides crumble and wasn't sure if she had enough to strength to walk away...but instead she simply placed a kiss to the cheek of her love at first sight... pausing to breath her in..knowing she'd take the would be of this moment with her forever.

Lauren turned and focused on the door handle..she only had to make it to there and then she could start trying to forget Arizona a little bit each day..she wouldn't turn back..couldn't turn back or she'd be breaking Arizona's request.

Arizona never opened her eyes, but she heard Lauren walk out of her life with the click of the on-call room door. She immediately doubled over, breathing heavily while burying her face in her hands. Her victory over temptation was small, but a victory nonetheless.