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"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival."
― C.S. Lewis
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Chapter XX: Better with friends
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They were between low bricks buildings nestled among trees. The moonlight lit the narrow alleyway while the rest of the corners were blanketed in darkness. This is pretty sketchy, Neru thought to herself.
Her eyes went back to Sasuke. He was in shock. She did not blame him. The revelation was too much to take.
"Men don't cry." Inabi said. Sasuke quickly rubbed his tears with his sleeve as he made no sound.
Uchihas taught boys to be afraid of weakness and vulnerability. They despised the notion of fear. They demanded them to mask their real self to become-what they called-a hard man. She disapproved. They'd forgotten that Sasuke was still human and humans cried all the time.
"He has been through a lot. Let's give him some time," Neru said, a little too nicely. It was difficult for her to be straightforward with Inabi. He could be really mean if he wanted it too.
"I believe that you guys have a lot of explaining to do." Sasuke said in a blunt manner, his voice very quiet. He'd finally regained his composure, but the arrogance and self-assurance were no longer there.
"Of course." Shisui's face hardened. "Let's go somewhere else first. We can't talk about that here."
"Hn." Sasuke nodded. "My house."
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His house was the same as back then. The interior had art covering the walls. It was big and looked luxurious, which was more grandiose than any accommodation she could ever afford. However she wouldn't ever want to live here. She felt as though all the light had been sucked out of this place.
"Come in and make yourself at home." Sasuke said, uncharacteristically nice.
A faint memory stirred, something about her mother and Itachi. She immediately tried to think about something else. Neru stared uncomfortably at his back as he opened and closed the kitchen drawers. Sasuke shook a box of chrysanthemum tea, slightly flustered.
The box was empty. "I don't usually have many guests over..."
"We can see that…" She muttered.
"We don't need anything. Come sit with us." Shisui said.
Sasuke took a seat next to the blind man. He folded his fingers together and observed them one after the other. He examined them like this was the first time he actually saw them. She could feel his eyes on her.
She carefully didn't meet his eyes.
"I want to know everything." Sasuke said. "Every little detail."
They held nothing back: the coup d'état, the escape, Paramnesia. He listened with intense attention, leaning back on his chair. He was visibly angry and frustrated.
"But what happened to you?" Sasuke stared hard at Shisui.
Shisui offered a bland surface. His expression gave nothing away.
Sasuke bit his lower lip. "The rumors were true? Did…Itachi really try to kill you?"
Shisui exhaled slowly and leaned back in his chair. "Itachi would have never done that."
She noticed how Sasuke's eyes just lit up a shade brighter.
"Have you ever heard about Danzo?" Shisui asked.
"No." Sasuke frowned. "Should I?"
"He's a very dangerous man, with a thirst for power and control. If you ever meet him, make sure you are not in his bad side."
"Fine, but what does he have to do with anything?"
"He was the one who ordered Itachi to kill everyone." Shisui said. "I tried to stop him. I wanted to end the conflict, but I couldn't. Danzo took my right eye…before I could change your father's mind. I thought that the only way to protect the village and the Uchiha name was to give Itachi the ultimate power. How wrong was I?" The expression on Shisui's face was bordering on guilt and sadness. "I would have never thought in a million years that Itachi would have done this…killing his own...family-"
"What's the ultimate power?!" Sasuke insisted in outrage.
"I entrusted Itachi my left eye. But my goal was also to awaken Itachi's Mangekyō Sharingan."
Confusion washed over Sasuke's face.
"The heavenly eyes that see the truth of all of creation without obstruction. It's an advanced form of the Sharingan." Neru clarified. "Only a few Uchihas were able to activate it. You have to kill your friend, your kin to obtain that power…You didn't know that?"
Sasuke blinked in confusion.
"Oh…" she muttered.
If I remember correctly, he was supposed to know about the underground bunker at the Nakano Shrine, because…Itachi told him about it. How come he has no idea?
The only explanation possible is that…he didn't meet Itachi that night. I want to ask him about that but I don't think it's the right time or thing to ask him.
The silence grew more uncomfortable by the second.
"Wait." Sasuke pressed his lips tightly. "So he had to kill Shisui to obtain the Mangekyō…but that's not the case."
Oddly enough, he was the one to spot the issue first.
Her eyes widened. "You are right. It makes no sense! Shisui, you are still alive!"
Inabi and Shisui frowned, they were in deep concentration.
"Perhaps…" Shisui said. "It's the trauma suffered from witnessing the death of a friend..."
"I don't know about that, but it makes more senses." Inabi said. "It's a similar process as awakening the Sharingan. Stressful. Traumatic."
Neru spaced out while they went on the facts.
Then…what about that stone tablet? The information is not credible. Who the hell wrote that nonsense?
So...Anzen, did he really kill Akane?
Shit.
I don't know what to think.
She looked up, biting her inner cheek.
"I almost drowned myself but Anzen saved me."
"Anzen?"
"Her father." Inabi pointed at her. Sasuke gazed back with an air of interest.
First of all, she didn't understand people who gave their eyes away as a gift. Plus, seriously Shisui, was it really really necessary to commit suicide? You could still do something.
"He's our leader now." Inabi added as he rose to his feet. "Let's call it a night. You have a lot to think..."
"Stay." Sasuke said. "There's enough room for everyone."
"We can't." Shisui said.
"Stay." Sasuke ordered, sternly. Something in his tone got to her.
"My point," Shisui continued. "Someone may still be monitoring all ours actions. We cannot stay too close to you for too long."
Sasuke glared. His glare faltered as uncertainty began to grip. He moved fast to stand between them and the exit.
"I swear we will come back for you." Inabi assured him. Sasuke stiffened. He did not move away.
"Sasuke." She said. "Our mission is to bring you back with us. We came here just for you...Uh...yah, we forgot to ask you this. Are you are willing to come with us to Paramnesia?"
She had been looking forward to say that line for a long time.
"There is nothing holding me back here." Sasuke said without hesitation.
Her features quickly softened into a smile.
"If you refuse, we plan to kidnap you anyway." Shisui ruffled Sasuke's hair and pinched his cheeks like one of those old ladies with their grandsons. Sasuke gave him a hefty shove.
"Cut it out." Sasuke glared half-heartedly, pushing the hair off his face.
"Why can't we just go now? Konoha's defense is weak because of the invasion and the Hokage's demise" Sasuke said.
"No! We absolutely cannot." She said. She couldn't believe that she was against this. She first wanted to get out of here as soon as possible, but now she needed to stay a little longer.
"Why?" He asked incredulously.
Orochimaru would send the Sound Four to take Sasuke. She needed to stay.
It was her turn to have her answers.
"It's complicated."
"Lady Neru, you must understand that we cannot delayed this any longer." Inabi cast her a look.
They asked her more questions, but she refused to answer them. She hoped that they would eventually stop probing.
"Does this have anything to do with your revenge?" Shisui was catching on. She took a deep breath and glanced around. Everyone was at rapt attention. "Do you really think I have forgotten about that?"
"Can't we just drop it?"
"Absolutely not, Lady Neru. I want to know what it's going on too."
Even if she wanted to tell them, she didn't know how. She had absolutely no idea what had happened that day. They also respected her father. What if they reported back to Anzen?
She cannot tell them too much.
"Look, I don't think that Orochimaru has given up on Sasuke that easily. He might send people to take him away. The people responsible for my mother's death could be the ones coming here."
"It's only a possibility." Shisui pointed out.
"I-"She didn't know how to convince them. "Please, please just a little longer."
There was a long silence.
Shisui sighed in resignation. "I suppose we are in no hurry. But don't ever think we are over with you."
She feel scolded like a child.
"But you only have two weeks. After that, we are going no matter what." Inabi said.
Are they angry? I knew I was being a nuisance, but….I can't miss this opportunity.
"Right." She nodded, feeling a rush of relief and muttered quickly. "Sorry."
"Stop apologizing." Shisui said. He then squeezed Sasuke's shoulder. "We'll come to get you when it's the right time, okay? Don't worry, Orochimaru is not going to get you. I won't let that happen."
When they went out the door, she could still sense Sasuke watching them from the window.
"I want to look around a little bit." She said.
Inabi nodded to her before he sprinted away.
"You are not mad at me?" She asked and Shisui halted in his tracks.
"No, I am just frustrated." He said. "You are not telling me anything and I'm afraid that you might be careless like last time."
"It won't happen again." She assured him.
"I've been through all this before. I know that you have lost everything you held dear, but revenge will solve nothing. It will not bring you any joy nor satisfaction. In the end, you will only be left with emptiness, Neru."
She frowned in annoyance. "No, it will bring me something. Closure."
"You don't understand." His voice held disappointment.
"'Cause I'm just a kid." She retorted. He was being unfair. When he was at her age, he was taken seriously.
"You might be more mature than other kids, but you are still a kid." Shisui reminded her.
I'm a freaking grown up woman. I even have the right to murder people.
He let out a sigh. "Promise me that you won't get reckless when the time comes."
"We already had this conversation."
"Just promise me. Do you pinky swear?" He held up his little finger.
He's treating me like a kid again.
She entwined their pinkies together. "I fucking pinky swear. Happy?"
"Hn." He smiled a small, warm smile and suddenly poked her forehead. "Language."
"Old habits die hard."
Before he faded into the darkness of the night, he said. "When you are ready to talk, you know that I am always ready to listen."
She signed tiredly. Why was he such a smooth talker? There was no way she could keep that meaningless, childish promise. She looked around the compound. To take her mind off, she began to compare the Before with the After.
The After was like something you could only see in a horror movie. All the houses were vacant. Half of the compound was burned down to the ground. Her old house was no longer the same. There was nothing but dust. On the window of the police station, she could see the line of a human body. That was the shape of someone who was slaughtered there and stayed with time.
Her gaze swept over a huge stone gate that she'd never seen before. She decided to venture in. There was a gigantic headstone with hundreds of names and an enormous spot on the ground with yellowish grass.
It was a memorial, a mass grave.
Two hundred bodies piled up together underneath her feet.
Her eyes darted on the memorial stone as she noted her own name.
A shiver ran through her body and it's definitely not from the cold rain.
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When Sasuke saw her the next day, he did not hesitate to follow her into Konoha library. She pretended to not see him; They sat in relative silence, treating each other like strangers.
She was really uncomfortable being with him.
The boy wore a complete black jumpsuit with small belts on his left arm and many black bands wrapped around his legs. His spiky hair looked black, but out in the sunlight she could also see that it had blue tint. He had an angular face with prominent cheekbones and beautiful healthy skin.
Sasuke definitively had looks and brains.
There was no wonder why he was so popular with girls or even boys.
Pushing back her chair, she headed to the newspapers section to search for her mother's articles. She was already at Konoha, so she felt the need to gather every information she could to understand her mother's death.
The truth might not be too far.
She marched in a straight line, looking at the piles of old smelly papers, not forgetting that Sasuke was nearby observing her. She stopped at the label "Konoha Press" and immediately took the articles out of the shelf.
Reading Akane's works felt like invading her thoughts. Not every article was neutral, sometimes she could detect a little bit of bias. Neru didn't learn anything useful for her personal investigation, but it didn't mean that she didn't learn anything new. She had always thought that the Uchiha clan didn't like her at a very young age, because her mother was an outsider. (Uchihas had to marry someone within the clan)
But she was half right.
According to Akane, they didn't want to get involve with people from the Hidden Cloud village. Konoha, not too long time ago, had a war with the Hidden Cloud. Therefore, she could conclude that they had associated her mother and her, due to their darker color of skin, with that village.
Sighing, she rubbed her temples and took a deep breath.
"What are you doing?" Sasuke nudged her, stopping their-I ignore you, you ignore me-act.
"Do you know when everything started…?" She asked in a clear attempt to change the subject. He raised an eyebrow and she muttered so quietly she thought he might not hear her. "...about the coup d'état…"
Sasuke shook his head slowly deep in thought.
She led him to the far end of the library and took out a book titled Chakra Monsters. As she flipped through the pages, they saw the drawings of the seven tailed beasts. She pointed with the tip of her finger at the orange, black and white drawing of the Nine Tails fox destroying the village and he leaned in a little to get a better look.
"It all started on the night of October 10."
She looked around and noted that they were alone. To be safe, she casted one of the few genjutsu she was able to do.
"Back then, the Nine-tailed Demon fox attacked the village-"She explained.
"-Then the Fourth Hokage gave his life to kill it." Sasuke cut her off, his eyes observant and alert. His mannerisms simmered with barely concealed impatience.
"No." She said. "That's what this book want you to believe, that's what Konoha want you to believe. No mortal could kill a tailed beast, something with a thousand times more chakra than a normal human. The only way for the Fourth to stop the destruction was to seal it on a new vessel."
She saw his eyes widened. "That vessel was his own newborn baby."
"The Uzumaki clan have always been the carrier of the Nine-Tails for hundreds of years and…that tradition is still alive even now."
She was basically saying that Uzumaki Naruto was the present jinchūriki (He was the only Uzumaki left in Konoha).
"I have my suspicions. He is not doing a good job hiding it." Sasuke regarded her with a stare so direct she didn't know where to look. "So…what does that have to do with us?"
Oh right.
"I didn't realize that our conversation went in another direction..." She grimaced shyly.
My bad.
"The thing is that, during the attack, the Nine-Tailed eyes were red with tomoe."
"The sharingan." Sasuke frowned.
"Yes. The only people with the sharingan are us. So everyone thought that we manipulated the tailed beast and planned the attack on Konoha."
"We didn't!"
"I know." The words poured easily out. "But that was the beginning of a spiral of fear and hatred. We lost Konoha's trust and Konoha lost ours-"
Thump!
Their head jerked around so fast that she felt dizzy. Her heart was thudding. Her eyes followed two hands picking up an enormous book that had just fallen on the floor. The girl clumsily clutched tightly the fallen object around her arms. She laughed a little nervously to herself, looking at them.
Sasuke and Neru both looked at each other.
"She didn't hear us, right?" Sasuke asked.
"Impossible. Genjutsu." Neru closed the book and place it back on the shelf.
"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura beamed with a timid smile. "What are you doing here?"
Sasuke just shrugged his shoulders.
"Oh silly me, we are in a library. You must be reading a book." Sakura tucked shyly her pink hair behind her ear. Sasuke apparently didn't need to make eye contact to say. "Go away, I'm busy."
Ouch!
Sakura visibly flinched and Neru flinched too. She felt bad for Sakura. He could have said it more nicely.
Feeling out of place, she carefully stepped around them and buried her head in a comic book. She was really obsessed with comic books and movies lately. People might call her otaku, because she took notes and collected things, but she didn't care about their opinions.
That book could be her next life.
She cocked her head to get a better look at Sakura and Sasuke.
"Why is she with you?" Sakura frowned and maybe caught her staring at them.
"No, she's not."
"But I saw you two talking together..."
"Well apparently…she's a self-proclaimed fangirl of mine." He lied, stupidly, ridiculously amused.
Is that really the only thing you can think of, Sasuke?!
It made her cringe. She grimaced, watching a subtle smirk playing on his lips. Not funny. She still had a little pride.
Sasuke shoved his hands in his pocket and walked away from them. Sakura crossed her arm and looked hard at her with a scary face, muttering not really to herself. "How dare she follow Sasuke-kun? I make her go away! Shannaro!"
Give me a break! I don't want to deal with you!
Her looks were remarkable, smooth features on an adorable face. Haruno Sakura had fair skin and her eyes were large and green with glints of gold. Sakura was coming to her now. Neru ducked down and pretended to be preoccupied.
"Hey." Sakura placed a hand on the table and the other on her hips. "I'm his teammate. I'm warning you, you can't be a creep and spy on Sasuke-kun."
Uh…Aren't you one too?
Neru cleared her throat. "I didn't know that's the impression I gave…" She was working hard for something to say. Lying should be her forte. "He's just really amazing and…all…So I kind of want to …uh…look at him."
Her pride.
She had swallowed her pride.
It was damn embarrassing. She might be on the verge of bashing her head on a wall.
Sakura somehow took it pretty…well. What the hell? She had a smile on her face. "I know right?! Sasuke-kun is so dreamy~."
"Yop, so dreamy." Neru parroted in a monotone voice.
"I understand. I am his number one fangirl, after all. "
Why are you looking so proud?
"But don't spy on him anymore. That's creepy."
"Duly noted..."
Satisfied, Sakura went away, maybe to search for Sasuke.
Neru picked up her comic book and flipped a page. Sasuke glided in front of her, silent and unnoticed, as though he was there for a while now. She caught the amusement that made his strong mouth twitch.
He was eavesdropping on us.
"I can't believe you have the nerve to make fun of me." She kicked his leg under the table.
I think he is opening up to me.
"You know you should be nicer to her."
Sasuke stayed silent and glared at her.
"Can't hurt to try." She shrugged. "And by the way, you could have just say to her that we were friends."
"I don't have friends." He said.
She sweatdropped. This guy, he was saying something super depressing while looking cool.
"We are not…friends?"
Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "You are trying too hard."
"Don't act all cool by yourself, okay?" She shot him a dirty look. "This is going to sound cheesy, but friends are precious asset in life."
For a brief moment, the corner of his lip curved up slightly. The barest quick of his lips. She could have easily miss it. Once again, satisfaction stirred within her.
"Let's get along." Sasuke nodded with an impassive expression. "Let's start over again. At first, I was-"
"Rude, mean, arrogant-" She suggested as she counted her fingers.
"-Yeah. I get it. So how about we introduce ourselves?"
"We already did."
"How about your likes, dislikes…your dream for the future and things like that."
How forced. For him, it must have felt like an obligation to know her better. She was not his blood relative, but they were kind of related.
"Uh… okay."
"I can start." Sasuke said. "There are a lot of things I dislike and I don't really like…"
"Wow! You are really telling me something I don't already know." She said with sarcasm.
"You are annoying."
"You're an ass."
Everything was so straightforward. His thoughts were as direct as the projection of a kunai. She realized that he said whatever he had in mind even though it hurt the other person. In other words, he did not give any shit about feelings. She didn't usually like those type of people, but she knew that they would not feel too offended if she did the same to them.
If he was mean to her, she wouldn't go easy on him.
He groaned in solidarity. "So I was saying-My dreams? I can't really call it a dream, but I have an ambition-"
To kill Itachi?
"To have my brother back and…To make him ask for redemption."
Sasuke looked at her for the longest time. His eyes flashed. "Do you hate him? I suppose everyone hate him now."
"Yes, I do." She said, disgust near tangible in her voice. "You?"
"I do, but he's still my brother." Sasuke answered with more sincerity than she was prepared for. "I want to understand him…I really do."
There's no way we can understand crazy.
"-I will make sure he pays for his sins..."
"How?" She asked. "What will you make him do?"
He folded his fingers together in order to give his words some dramatics weight. "…I'll make him beg on his knees and say sorry?"
She snorted.
"It's your turn." Sasuke lifted his chin.
"Right, it seems that I dislike a lot of people. I even made a list and no, you are not in it."
"Hn." He visibly relaxed.
"I like to read comic books and watch movies. I can't wait to see this new movie coming out soon, The Adventures of Princess Fuun!" She said enthusiastically.
He didn't look like he cared. "Your dream?"
"A dream, I don't have that anymore. I am just trying to survive, day by day. Actually I have a big dream…I want to die of old age."
"Sad." Sasuke commented.
"I think I forgot something." Neru frowned heavily, leaning back on her chair. Her heart was beating fast for no reason.
Sasuke signed. "I think you don't. You have talked enough about yourself."
"No…It's something else."
There was something she had forgotten and…unknowingly, that something was just around the corner.
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A few feet from them, there was the lean man with friendly eyes. Kakashi had his hands in his pockets as he leaned on the wall of a teahouse. He was currently talking with two people she'd already met in the Chunin Exams. They stopped speaking as soon as they saw Sasuke.
Neru slowed down and walked a good distance behind him.
The woman was a beauty. She was beautiful in the classical way with midnight black curls and piercing eyes of red. With her head held high, Yūhi Kurenai radiated confidence.
She could feel a gaze burning into the back of her head.
Asuma.
Maybe he was still angry that she had beaten Shikamaru.
Sarutobi Asuma was a tall man with black spiky hair and a beard. He had dark brows, which sloped downwards in a serious expression.
"Kakashi, it's very different of you to arrive first." Sasuke said.
"Well…For some occasions..." Kakashi answered nonchalant.
She stared at the ground to avoid everyone's eyes. Someone bumped into her lightly, which made her look up. In a brief moment, she saw red clouds. Black cloaks with red clouds.
She kept her expression neutral despite the sudden increase of her blood pressure. Her heart was beating hard at the sight of him. She froze, her feet felt heavy as if rocks were attached to her sandals.
For a moment, she stood, wondering what she should, could do.
Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
If she blinked, would he go away?
The man with pronounced cheekbones and brooding dark eyes was sitting in the teahouse with another huge man. He seemed to be looking straight at her. Unsure, she glanced quickly behind and looked back. Why was he still looking at her? Why was she looking at him?! She couldn't help it. She had, she thought, a healthy fear of dying.
Itachi then tilted his head like he acknowledged her.
"Fuck." She swore.
Frankly, everything had been said.
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Next chapter: Dance with the Devil
AN: I am touched by the positive feedbacks! I am glad that many of u think that the main character is likeable and the story is unique.
There will be no bashing. Sakura might be portrayed as an obsessive fangirl before Shippuden and Sasuke, a cold jerk, but with time, they will be deep and complex characters.
Thank you for sticking with me for this long. I have never written so many words before. The struggle is real. The longest essay for my English class was only 500 words.
Good thing I am getting better.
See u guys/girls later!
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