Wow, long time no update, sorry guys! I'm back at school and things have been absolutely crazy, please forgive me. (:

The apologies don't end there! This chapter is a bit short, though it's necessary and Wendy has not read it yet. Sorry, sorry, sorry!!

Anyway, huge thanks to all my wonderful reviewers! This is for you guys! Also, Dare to Imagine: it will get funny again, promise. (: But Lily has to get through this bit first. Thanks for your reviews!

Even when you're not sure where you're headed, it helps to know you aren't going alone.

Chapter Twenty-One: Horror Within

Lily felt numb. The news of her parents' deaths had not fully sunk in and she felt trapped in a state of frozen disbelief.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

The steady chant inside her head was all that kept the young witch from losing it completely. She was not going to cry. Not here, not while James was watching.

He still had his strong arms wrapped around her, rocking the two of them gently back and forth. Lily pushed away from him softly and he took both her hands in his.

"Are you ready?" James whispered.

Lily could only nod, not trusting her mouth to speak coherently around the lump fighting its way out of her throat. He pulled her off the seat and she followed him to Dumbledore's desk where the apple Portkey sat waiting for them.

"You sure?" James asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Lily nodded again and, together, they reached out and took hold of the Portkey.

They spun through light and color until their feet hit the ground and James grabbed her around the waist to keep her from falling, not that she would have noticed if she had.

Lily slowly raised her eyes to see her house, expecting to find it in shambles, but there was nothing about the calm, almost cheery, exterior to suggest the turmoil that lay within. Even the weather seemed to whole heartedly disagree with the situation. The sky was an inky black and thousands of stars glistened overhead, twinkling and winking mockingly down at her. She felt as though the street should be in the midst of a gale, with clouds and rain and wind.

James released her once she was steady and grasped her hand instead, entwining his large, calloused fingers with her smaller, more delicate ones.

"Are you positive about this?"

"Yes," Lily murmured. She took a few deep, steadying breaths and lead him to the door.

"Stupify!" a gruff voice yelled from inside.

Lily and James were blasted backwards into the yard and landed on the grass with a painful thump.

- Step CLUNK Step CLUNK Step CLUNK -

A grizzled old wizard limped over the door frame and peered down at Lily and James through mismatched eyes.

"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" he bellowed, causing both teenagers to jump. "If I hadn't been expecting you, well, never you mind. To business! Evans, what was the password to Dumbledore's office?"

"Gumdrops," Lily answered. She would have been confused at the man's strange appearance and behavior, but the numb feeling was overriding any other emotion.

He nodded. "Potter, what sits on the perch beside Dumbledore's desk?"

"A phoenix," James told him as he helped Lily to her feet. "Why? And who are you?"

"Had to make sure you weren't Death Eaters in disguise," he growled as though it were obvious. "Alastor Moody, Auror."

James and Lily merely nodded and followed him back into the house.

"You two know Hagrid," Moody continued.

The huge gamekeeper let out a grief stricken howl when he saw Lily and James and pulled them into a bone crushing hug.

"Ah, Lil' this is righ' terrible! Yer parents gon' like tha'," he wailed.

"Hagrid, air," they gasped together, faces turning somewhat blue.

"Righ', sorry."

Once back on their feet, Hagrid handed them a few cardboard boxes and blew his nose loudly on an old spotted handkerchief.

"Them is fer yer stuff, Lil'."

James nodded and took them from the giant. "Thanks, Hagrid."

"Where are they?" Lily whispered suddenly.

Moody studied her for a minute with both piercing eyes. "Through here," he growled and led them into the small living room. Mr. and Mrs. Evans lay side-by-side on a blanket on the floor. They looked so peaceful, they might have been asleep.

Lily's walk was shaky as she made her way to her parents and knelt beside them. She reached out a trembling hand and lightly touched her mother's pale, cold cheek and jerked away as the horrible truth finally began sinking in. She stood up hastily and stalked past the three men watching her from the doorway. Working hard to keep her breathing even, Lily all but ran up the stairs and let herself into her bedroom. Only once she had collapsed onto her bed did she allow the tears to freely fall.

- - - - - - -

James stood on the threshold of Lily's bedroom, watching as her small, fragile body racked with sobs. She was in so much pain and here he was doing nothing. Disgusted with himself, James entered the room and cautiously approached Lily.

"Go away," she choked out when he sat down beside her. "I don't want you. This is my problem."

Without thinking about it, James reached out and once more wrapped Lily in his arms. He felt her stiffen and push against his chest with what he guessed was all her strength, but James held on, refusing to let her go. Tears of anger and sadness and pain flowed together down her beautiful face as she tried to break free.

"I don't care if you want me or not, I'm yours either way," James murmured in her ear. "I'm not leaving you."

At that, Lily seemed to lose all resolve. She stopped pushing and collapsed against his chest and cried.

James did not try to shush her, he knew Lily needed to let it out. Instead, he just stroked her hair and rubbed her back for he did not know what to do other than simply show her he was there.

They sat together for a moment, nothing but Lily's sobs breaking the silence. Finally, she took a deep breath and pulled away, studying James's face.

How anyone could cry like that and still look so beautiful, James did not know, but Lily had managed it. He reached up a hand and gently wiped away the remaining tears, Lily flinched slightly at the touch.

"Let's get your stuff," he told her sadly.

She nodded and took one of the boxes to her closet.

"W-will you get the pictures, pl-please?" she asked, her voice hoarse and broken.

"Of course, love."

James began taking the memories off the yellow walls, sighing sadly when he found ones containing Snape and almost smiling when Alice or Vanessa smiled up at him. Lily was so blessed to have to two of them for friends, James wished they were here, they would know what to do.

Once everything in the room was packed neatly away, Moody 'step CLUNK-ed' his way inside.

"I'm going to send this stuff up to the school," he told them gruffly, pulling out his wand. "It'll be there when you get back."

"What about Snuffles?" Lily asked. "Is he -?"

"He's all right."

"You can send him to my place if you like," James said, wanting to be of as much help as he could. "My dad would look after him, he's always wanted a dog."

"Oh, James, I couldn't ask him -"

"Seriously, Lily, he would be thrilled. And Sirius would like that too."

James's best friend had grown quite fond of the shaggy brown dog during their brief stay with Lily over the summer, though he mercilessly taunted the animal's unfortunate name.

Lily looked up at him through red puffy eyes, searching his face for something unknown to James. What she found, he was not sure of, but she nodded and whispered, "thank you."

"I'll have Hagrid take him," Moody growled. "He can explain what happened."

Lily nodded again. "Thank you, sir."

Suddenly, they heard the front door bang open and angry steps rush into the hallway.

"WHERE IS SHE?" Petunia shrieked, the sound reverberating through the tiny little house.

Lily closed her eyes, a pained expression on her face before she squared her shoulders and left the bedroom. "I'm here, Tuney."

"You BITCH!" Petunia screamed when Lily reached the bottom of the stairs. She lunged at her little sister and slapped her across the face with all her might.

"Oi!" James yelled, surprised and furious. He ran to stand in front of Lily before Petunia could strike again.

"MOVE!" Petunia bellowed, a crazed look in her eyes. "THIS IS ALL HER FAULT!"

James felt his jaw drop. "How could you say that?"

"No, James." Lily's voice was soft, almost imperceptible. "She's right."

"What?" James asked, spinning around to face her.

"Tuney's right," Lily whispered. "I'm a Muggleborn, James. That's who the Death Eaters are after. Since they couldn't get to me at Hogwarts they must have come here. This would be just as good in their eyes."

James opened his mouth, about to reassure her in some way that this was not at all her fault when Petunia interrupted.

"See? Even she admits it!"

"That's enough, lass," Moody growled from the staircase.

Petunia looked the grizzled man up and down with a fearful expression before deciding not to argue. Instead, she stalked past Lily and James and stormed up to her bedroom, giving the Auror wide berth.

Lily watched her sister go. James could almost see her heart breaking as he looked into her emerald eyes.

"Come on, darling, let's go," he whispered in her ear. James could feel his own heart being torn in two for Lily.

Lily did not object as he took her hand, waved to Moody and Hagrid, and led her out the door to the Portkey.

They spun to a stop back in Dumbledore's office where the headmaster was waiting for them. He crossed the room slowly and placed a gentle hand on Lily's shoulder.

"I am sorry, Lily," he told her softly, the twinkle in his blue eyes long gone.

Lily merely stared up him.

Dumbledore sighed and spoke slowly, age and wisdom resonating in his voice. "Not even death can separate us from those we love, for love is more powerful than any evil thing in this world. Remember that."

The redheaded witch nodded. "Thank you, professor," she whispered.

Dumbledore nodded and James took Lily's hand once more. He led her from the office and through the corridors of the quiet castle.

"Bubble and squeak," he told the fat lady.

She grumbled something about the lateness of the hour, but swung forward to admit them nonetheless. The common room was deserted save for a cat prowling in a dark corner. James and Lily sat together on one of the couches in front of the smoldering embers of a fire.

James did now know what to say. He merely sat there in silence, rubbing his thumb across the back of Lily's small hand in a slow, calming rhythm, hoping to show her he was there, even if that did not mean much to her. Either way, wanted or not, he would always be there.

_______________________________________

Yuck, not at all my favorite. Too short, and it's just not very good in my opinion. Better next time, I promise.

And it does get happier! There is like one or two more sad chapters before things resume their upbeat and funny rhythm.

Please leave me a review!

Later, dudes!

Love Always,

Kayla

A true friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out.