It felt as though I'd never had more fun in my entire life. If I could remember my entire life, I could have judged that, though. But of course, I couldn't, so I just wanted to pretend that that was the truth of the situation. Phoenix had taken me on the Ferry boat for two hours, finally when we'd both gotten too sea sick, we walked and walked all over Seattle. We got some funnel cake to share, and as of now we were laying under some trees. Clouds were rolling in, and it was looking like rain, but neither of us seemed to mind. We were just happy with each others presence.
"I love Seattle." He suddenly said, plopping some of the fried goodness into his mouth.
"Really?" I asked. "How come?"
"I've been raised in a lot of different places." He turned on his side to face me. "All over the country. This place...it has a lot of memories for me. My mom died here. My brother died here...they were burred here. I've experienced a lot of happy and sad in this place, and no where else feels quite like home. How about you?"
I shrugged. "I wouldn't know."
"Ah, right." He nodded. "Why don't you try and know?"
"Are you stupid?" I raised a brow. "If I had the ability to remember I would."
"No, I'm not stupid." He responded. "Because that isn't what I meant."
"Then what did you mean exactly?" I asked.
"Why don't you explore? Leave Washington, go to Los Angela's, go to New York. Fly down to Texas. Do something fun. Make new expiriences. New memories."
"I can't." I mumbled. "I told you. I'm tethered to my sister."
"You're not tethered to her, you feel like you have to be, because the old you hung on so tightly to whatever she could anchor herself down to. You needed that then, you don't now. You can't sit there and tell me you enjoy being smothered."
He was right. I hated it. I couldn't understand how past me enjoyed it.
"I can't go alone." I rolled my eyes. "That would be stupid. I'd be kidnapped and probably thrown in a ditch, never to be seen again."
"Who says you'd have to go alone?" A smirk found its way to his lips.
"Oh and who'd accompany me?" I scoffed.
"Me?"
"Oh please." I muttered, stuffing my face with the funnel cake.
"Yes please." He joked. "We could leave Seattle for a year. One year. We travel America, and we see if we like somewhere better. Somewhere nicer. Somewhere with less pain. You died here, Royal, and you came back to life as this wonderful human being and you deserve experiences. You deserve not to be smothered. You deserve to make a new life for yourself."
"Didn't you just say nothing can compare to Seattle for you?"
"For me." He said. "Nothing can compare for me, but you're not me. All of your suffering has been here. Why can't you find a little good? What if that little good is all the way across the country?"
I chewed on my bottom lip. "We barely know each other, Nix."
"But it feels like forever." He mumbled.
It did. It did feel like forever. When I was around him I felt complete, and that wasn't something I'd felt since I'd awoken from my anesthetic slumber. What if he was right, though? What if the complete puzzle piece was somewhere no where near here? What if Amelia couldn't offer what I needed? What I needed now, anyways. I'm not the same Royal I was three weeks ago. I'm different. I'm new. It's the new me, and she has to get used to that...but then I wondered. What if my puzzle piece was sitting right across from me?
"I get if it takes awhile to answer." He nodded in understanding. "But you tell me. You tell me if you want me to come pick you up, and we can start driving. Nothing ties me down here. Don't let your sister tie you down, Roy."
"Okay." I responded. "Okay."
Suddenly, I felt a drop of rain, and when I looked up, and entire sheet of rain fell on us and I gasped. "Oh Jesus."
He laughed, taking my hand. "What's he gotta do with this?"
I laughed as well and we ran off together. I felt so free with him, like I could be me. Whoever that was...I needed to make me. I needed to be me. I needed to try and understand me. Maybe time away from the old me would do me some good.
When we arrived back at Amelia's house, Phoenix gave me his phone number, and left me with a kiss to the cheek. When I entered through the front door, I was soaking wet, and freezing, but his kiss made me feel like a thousand degrees. Amelia was standing in front of the door, worry laced in her face. "Royal, for Christs sake. You've been out for hours, you didn't answer your phone."
"That was on purpose." I raised my eyebrows at her, throwing my boots to the ground, I continued forwards toward my room.
"Excuse me? Come back here." She began to stomp after me.
"Can't you leave me alone!?" I turned towards her. "I needed time to myself. To whoever that is. I feel like all you do is smother me, and I can't handle it. I can't handle you hovering my old memories above my head. I don't remember them. I don't remember me. I don't remember you! All you are is a stranger. You're nothing. You are NOTHING to me, Amelia!"
That's when I felt my cheek heat up for a second time, but it was a different kind of heat. A stinging pain. She'd slapped me. I looked towards her and she looked shocked with herself, and I felt the intense urge to cry and crawl into a corner but I didn't. Instead I stared directly into her face. "That's why I needed to leave." I made my way to my room and slammed the door shut behind me. I took out my phone, and began to text Phoenix.
"Tonight. At ten PM, come to my window. I need to find me."