Chapter 21
Diana flies east, away from Metropolis, without looking back. Tears sting her eyes and her heart aches but she can't go back no matter how much she may want to. It'll only end up causing her more pain. It will only cause Kal more pain. She has made the only decision she could. The only problem is that if she made the right choice why does it hurt so much?
Diana can't remember the last time, if ever, she has felt this bad. Her heart just aches and aches and it won't seem to stop. She doesn't know what to do now. She only knows that she needs the comfort only 2 certain people can bring her. She needs her mother. She needs her sister. She needs her family. She needs to go home.
Hippolyta sits at her desk and looks over some application from the Senate to make some minor change to the law and she can't help but feel that it is meaningless trivial rubbish. The world outside Themyscira's shores has been invaded by beings who resemble demi-gods if Donna is to be believed and all she and her fellow Amazons seem to do is sit here in the belief that they are safe in the presumed knowledge that they are hidden and protected by the Gods. Hippolyta's personal view is that they are part of the world whether they like it or not and what effects those beyond Themyscira's shores will effect them too. Maybe not immediately but eventually. It is why she has fought so hard to try and maintain a link to the outside world and why she thought it important for Diana to continue and try to teach the people's of the world how to live in peace. Unfortunately it has been the Senate's policy for some time now to slowly lessen those very links with the outside world in preparation for a complete withdrawal. May within the Senate feel that Diana has failed in her mission and that Man's world is spiralling downwards to its own self-destruction and if they aren't careful Themyscira will be sucked down with it. An alien invasion hasn't changed their mind any. If anything it has only reinforced and hardened this isolationist attitude that many Amazons possess. Part of her wants to scream at them for their short-sightedness but if she did that they would simply accuse of her of letting her concerns over Diana get in the way of seeing logic which is not true. Hippolyta just isn't sure they are as safe as they think they are.
Of course Hippolyta is concerned about her daughter. She had been so concerned that she had been prepared to go out into the world and retrieve Diana herself. Alien demi-gods be damned but Donna had persuaded Hippolyta to let her do it and did she?
No she did not. Worse Donna 'borrowed' Hippolyta's sword to give to Diana and let her stay out there to battle these aliens alone. Upon Donna's return she and her daughter exchanged a few cross words. Hippolyta had barely spoken to her youngest daughter since then.
Hippolyta tosses the document in her hand down. She can't concentrate on such things right now. She stands up and heads to her window which looks out onto the palace courtyard below but she looks upward into the sky. She silently prayed for her daughter's safe return as she had done often since Diana's message about the invasion. Unfortunately the Gods had been unusually quiet and not answered her prayers. It is then she notices a spot in the sky. A spot that gets bigger as it approaches. It takes on a human shape. A familiar human shape. Oh thank the Gods!
Hippolyta rushes from her office past the guards who doing their duty follow their Queen. Hippolyta reaches the courtyard in record time just as Diana lands. Hippolyta barely has time to absorb her daughter's appearance before Diana is flinging her arms around Hippolyta.
Hippolyta quickly realises that her daughter is crying . Her natural mothering instincts kick in and she pulls her daughter tightly into her arms and attempts to comfort and soothe her. What has caused this Hippolyta can learn later. All that matters right now is that her daughter has suffered some sort of trauma and she needs her mother.
It is some time before Diana's sobbing eases. Hippolyta pulls back and for the first time looks into her daughter's face with its red blood-shot eyes. She tries to judge what has happened to her. Apart from being upset there is something else about Diana that is different but Hippolyta can't quite place it but right here in the middle of the courtyard is not the place to find out. She silently guides Diana inside to her own private quarters. On the way they pass Donna.
Donna was just walking the halls in sullen silence. She and her mother had had a major falling out over her decision to leave Diana in Man's World and not force her to come home. Like anyone can force her sister to do anything. Not even the Gods themselves could force her sister to do something she did not believe in. On top of that her mother was furious that Donna had taken her sword and given it to Diana. Better that than nothing Donna had told her mother. Not surprisingly her mother did not take that comment well. It ended with Donna completely blowing her top and accusing her mother of...well she would rather not dwell on it. Lets just say it was less than complimentary. Bottom line is that after their argument she and her mother had not really been talking to each other.
Well anyway she is walking the halls when she spots her mother and sister and from what she can tell Diana looks...devastated. She rushes over. "Diana! What's happened? Are you ok?" she says rapidly but all she gets from Diana is a look which plainly shows deep emotional pain all too evident in her gaze.
Without any more words all 3 head to Hippolyta's private quarters. Hippolyta guides her daughter to a divan where Diana curls her legs under her and retreats into a ball. Hippolyta bends down and brushes some of Diana's dark curls away from her face. "Diana?" she says gently hoping to get Diana to respond. She doesn't. Just stares blankly ahead.
Hippolyta stands up straight and wonders what to do.
"Mother," Donna says. "Could you leave us?" she requests.
Hippolyta looks at Donna with a mixture of puzzlement, surprise and a little bit of anger at her daughter's attempt to shoo her away.
Donna looks at her mother pleadingly. "Please," she says hoping to silently get across her feeling that she can get through to Diana better if their mother leaves them.
Hippolyta looks at Donna, then at Diana curled up, tears threatening to fall every moment and then back at Donna. "You have an hour," Hippolyta tells Donna.
"Thank you," Donna tells her mother.
Hippolyta bends down and gives Diana a small kiss of love on her forehead and then heads off leaving the two sisters alone.
Donna takes a moment before speaking. "So. Here we are. All alone." Diana says nothing. "You know the last time I saw you like this was because I broke that toy horse of yours when we were children. You cried for hours and didn't talk to me for a month. After 4 weeks of silence I decided that I had to make you talk to me so I bugged you endlessly for days until you eventually relented. We talked. We made up and everything was ok. Remember that?"
Silence. For several minutes. Donna thinks what next to say to try and get Diana to open up when a croaky whispery voice breaks the silence. "I hit you."
Donna leans down. "What?" she asks since the voice was so quiet she didn't quite catch what was said.
"I said I hit you," Diana repeats. "We didn't just talk and make up. I hit you, we fought and then we made up."
Donna grins as she remembers it. Yep that as exactly what happened. "Ah. Good times," she says a little wistfully. "Remember how long mother grounded us for for fighting."
"I believe that technically you are still grounded," Diana jests as she sits up. It is a rather feeble attempt at humour but it is better than nothing. She can't believe though how emotional she was upon her arrival. She just saw her mother and she couldn't hold it in. She knows that there are going to be stories flying all around about the crying princess but at the moment Diana couldn't care less about any gossip that may fly around.
Donna moves and sits down next to her sister. "So are you going to tell me what happened? Last time we talked you were about to storm this military base."
"Storm is not the exact phrase I would use," Diana points out to her sister. There was no storming. There was infiltrating but that was where it all began.
"So what happened?" Donna asks.
Diana takes a breath. She needs to tell someone. She knows she does and she isn't sure her mother would react as well as Donna to what she has to say and, maybe she thinks to herself, she might find it easier to tell Donna than her mother considering how raw her emotions are at this precise moment.
Donna sits quietly as she listens to her sister spill everything. What happened at the base including the death of the Kryptonian woman and then how the Kryptonians stormed the League's underground hideout to arrest everyone in response.
Donna interrupts her sister. "They caught you?" she says in surprise because her sister was perhaps the best fighter she had ever seen.
Diana closes her eyes at the memory that comes back. "I was just about to leave when I heard screaming," she explains.
"Who was screaming?" Donna asks.
"Oliver," Diana answers. "It was Oliver. They were his death screams."
"Oliver's dead?"
Diana nods. "And Dinah," she sadly and regretfully tells Donna.
A needle of pain strikes Donna's heart hard. She was closer to Dinah than Oliver but to hear that they are both dead brings her great sorrow. "What happened?"
Diana takes another deep breath and tells her sister how she found Oliver and Dinah and of her meeting with Kara.
"Fun?" Donna says repeating what Diana told her that Kara said when explaining why she killed Oliver and Dinah.
Diana isn't sure what to say exactly to explain that buts he gives it a try. "Kara...she is...I'm not sure how to describe her but there was an insanity lurking behind her eyes that I have rarely seen. I think she has seen and done terrible things and it has had a lasting impact on her psyche."
"Okay," Donna says slowly while mentally noting that she will probably try to avoid any meeting with this Kara. "So what happened next? I'm guessing you fought her."
Diana nods in confirmation. "I did." She pauses for a moment. "I lost."
"What?!" Donna says in...well total shock really. Like she thought earlier her sister is one of the best fighters ever. "How?"
Diana shrugs one shoulder almost lazily. "She was stronger and faster," she answers simply.
"Strength and speed are not everything," Donna argues using what both she and Diana had been taught as they were growing up since they themselves are stronger and faster than their amazon sisters. However to make sure that neither of them grew too arrogant or complacent their teachers took great pleasure in knocking both her and Diana on their bottoms many times.
"True," Diana says in agreement with her sister, "but Kara is a most skilled warrior." Diana then reluctantly admits how her fight with Kara ended. "She nearly killed me."
Cold fear and shock freezes Donna's heart. She throws her arms around Diana. "I almost lost you," she whispers with fear all too evident in her voice.
Diana gently pats her sister on her back. "It's fine Donna. I survived. Well I was saved I guess I should say."
Donna pulls back. "Saved?"
"By Kal."
"Kal?"
"The Kryptonian commander. You know that one I told you I dreamt about," she reminds Donna.
"Oh yes. I remember. Before you explain why he did that I have one question."
Diana has an ominous feeling about the way Donna said that but asks her sister to go ahead anyway.
"Is he as hot in real life as in the picture you drew?" Donna asks with a cheeky grin plastered across her face.
Diana rolls her eyes. Only her sister would ask a question like that.
"Well is he?" Diana asks impatient for the answer.
"I suppose so," Diana answers though she isn't sure she is the best judge of what qualifies for the definition of 'hot'.
Donna tries to read her sister. "You're holding out on me," she decides of her sister.
Diana takes yet another breath. "Donna can we just get on with this. It is not exactly easy this for me."
Remembering how upset Diana was Donna takes her sister's remarks as a small chastisement and refocuses her energies. "Sorry," Donna apologises. "Continue."
Diana does move on explaining how Kal had her injuries treated and of how they discovered that they had both been having dreams about the other and that is why he saved her so he could get answers as to why he was dreaming about her. Donna raises an interested eyebrow at that but says nothing more while Diana continues her story of how she and Kal discovered that their dreams came from Kal's God for some mysterious purpose that Diana hasn't worked out yet or maybe has just been too upset to even try. Beyond that she simply mentions how she and Kal spent many hours talking and learning about each other.
Donna interrupts once more. "Alone in his quarters?"
"What?"
Donna clarifies. "You and he were alone in his quarters you said."
Diana's mind flashes to what she and Kal did in those quarters alone and without her permission her face twitches into a new expression. Probably utter satisfaction. She quickly shoves the images aside, puts her 'poker' face back on and responds to her sister. "Um, we were. I was under guard as a prisoner."
Donna notes the slight hesitation and stares at her sister with more interest. It takes her a few moments to decipher the look she caught on Diana's face. "OH. MY. GODS!"
"Donna," Diana begins to say to stop her jumping to conclusions.
"You slept with him!"
Too late. "Shh," Diana implores her sister while she looks at the door and prays that her mother isn't eavesdropping on the two of them. Since Hippolyta doesn't come barging in Diana takes it that their mother isn't there and says a silent thanks to her Gods.
"Was it good?" Donna asks as her next question due to her being unable to restrain her curiosity.
"Donna I am not discussing that with you," Diana says in her most authoritative voice.
"Why not? It is important as to why you're here isn't it?"
Sometimes it still surprises Diana how intuitive her sister is. "Yes it is important," she admits. "I..." she hesitates for a moment wondering if she should tell Donna before deciding she needs to tell someone. "It was beyond description Donna. I've never known pleasure like it."
Donna can see a twinkle in her sister's eyes that she had never seen before and can tell she is thinking back on 'it'. Unfortunately and as much as Donna would like to get more details(she definitely will get them later) their mother only gave her an hour so Donna knows she must move the conversation on. "Why?"
Diana's brow crinkles into a frown. "Why what?"
"Why did you sleep with him? I mean I thought they were evil conquerors."
Diana shakes her head and feels the need to correct her sister. "Not evil Donna. Misguided."
"And you got this from talking with 'Kal'?"
Diana nods. "We talked about everything. Our upbringing, our cultures and I could see that underneath Kal's exterior was a good person struggling to get out. It would take too long to explain everything in detail but Kal had been raised to believe certain things and I showed him the error of those beliefs."
Donna looks at her sister with new admiration. Wow. She talked round the leader of an occupying army bent on galactic domination. That is no small achievement. Of course that still leaves her original question. "Why did you sleep with him?"
Diana sighs, gathers her courage and looks her sister in the eye. "Because."
"Because?"
"Because I love him."
Ok now that Donna had not expected her sister to say.
Diana looks away from Donna and at the suddenly much more interesting floor. She speaks in a soft voice. "It just happened Donna. I can't explain how. We talked. I found he was kind, gentle, he even had a sense of humour albeit a poor one. I knew I was attracted to him and then it was more than that. I...I can't explain it better Donna. I wish I could."
Donna places her hand on Diana's shoulder supportively. "Hey that's alright. I think you just stumbled on the definition of love as in it is something that can never be really explained. Tell me this though. Does he love you back?"
"Yes," Diana answers without hesitation.
"How can you be so sure?" Donna asks curiously at how swift and sure Diana's response was.
"Because."
Donna rolls her eyes. Again with the because. "Because?"
Diana once more raises her eyes to meet her sister's. "Because he killed his father to save me."
Donna's eyebrows rise markedly. "Ok. I'm going to need more than that."
Diana thought she would so with another deep breath she tells the part she hadn't gotten to yet. How she found out that Kal was the adopted son of the leader of Kryptonian race. How said leader showed up and ordered her execution along with the rest of the League and at the public execution how Kal killed Zod to save her.
Donna listens respectfully quiet and thanking every God she can think of that her sister is safe and sound. If she knew that Diana was going to be put to death she would never have left her in the outside world. "So I'll thank Kal later for saving your life but I don't get it. If he killed this Zod and all his loyal troops are dead why are you here?"
"Because I couldn't stay," Diana answers. "It would hurt too much."
"What would hurt too much?" Donna asks with some puzzlement.
Diana gets to her feet and walks around to the other side of the room with her back to Donna. "Kal...Kal is leaving Donna. I should have known he would have to but it never occurred to me. I couldn't stay there and watch him leave knowing I would never see him again so I kissed him goodbye and flew here. Better to get it over with now than prolong the pain."
Donna stands up and wraps her arms around Diana from behind. "You don't mean that."
Diana closes her eyes as tears threaten to fall once more. "It was for the best," she says sounding more like she is trying to convince herself than Donna.
Donna holds in what would have been a sigh of pure exasperation at her sister. At her older, supposedly wiser sister but when it came to matters concerning Diana's own heart she had never seemed very wise at all. "Diana. It is ok to be upset," Donna tells her sister.
For a few moments Diana simply stands there unmoving. "It's not fair," she whispers.
"I know."
"I love him."
"I know."
"But we can't be together. He will leave and I will stay."
"I know."
Diana finally turns around to face her sister, pain etched across her face. Donna can only conclude from Diana's expression that whatever love her sister is feeling must run very deep. A stray tear runs down Diana's face which she wipes away. "I think I need to be alone for awhile," she decides.
"You sure?" Donna asks with sisterly concern.
Diana nods. "I need to gather myself back together Donna. The world out there. There is so much to do. There is...some things happened I haven't told you yet. Lots of people died and I have to help."
Donna isn't sure she can take anymore revelations but she asks anyway. "What happened?"
"General Zod...he destroyed Gotham."
"What do you mean he destroyed Gotham?"
"He wiped it from the face of the planet Donna."
"Gods," Donna utters in horror.
"I just...I just need to pull myself together enough to go help with the rebuild. The Kryptonians will be be gone in a few days. I will stay here that long."
"So you don't have to see him right?"
Diana nods.
Donna lets out a sigh. "Fine but I think the Senate will need to know about what has happened. Not the personal stuff obviously but they're still debating whether to withdraw from the World Assembly and cut all links to the outside world and I think if you tell them what has happened they be willing to lend aid. Maybe even rethink this whole withdraw idea."
Diana debated it for a good few seconds. Donna's words made sense and if she was going to help she couldn't afford to have the Senate order her back home because they had decided to have nothing more to do with the world. On the plus side she could bring them what the good news about Lex Luthor's demise. She knows that the Senate had hated him with a passion. Of course so had she. Yes Donna is correct. She needs to pull herself together and inform the Senate of what has transpired. "You make a good point Donna."
"Of course I do," Donna replies making the effort to sound offended that anything to the contrary could be suggested.
It is at this point that their mother reappears in the doorway. Guess their hour was up and from the expression on Hippolyta's face it is obvious she wants the story now. Diana looks at Donna with a silent plea. Donna gets the message. She makes her way over to their mother. "Mother. You better sit down," Donna tells her.
Hippolyta does so. "I take it this is a long story."
"There's that and I think it will be better if you do because there are some parts of this you aren't going to like," Donna informs her mother. Mostly the part where Diana slept with a near demi-god alien because while their mother has become more open minded that Themyscira takes its rightful place amongst the nations of the world she has not entirely lost her mistrust in men and certainly has not softened her stance that her daughters should have nothing to do with them in a personal relationship capacity.
Hippolyta's face remains steadfastly neutral but inside she is wondering just what has happened that she won't like.
Diana comes to stand next to her sister. Donna begins. That was what the silent plea was about. That she tell their mother the story that Diana told her. "Ok I'll start from the part you already know. What happened after I left Diana in Metropolis. It goes like this..."
Diana soon leaves her sister to it so she can be by herself liked she wanted. As she does so she silently promises to make this up to Donna some day. She just isn't ready to retell the story all over again so soon. Especially to her mother. Her pain and emotions are too raw. She flies off to a secluded beach where she knows no-one will find her and sits herself down. As she does so Diana can't stop her thoughts straying back to Kal and what they shared together. Funny she only met him because they were trying to find a way to drive the Kryptonians away and in a way she succeeded. They are leaving. The invasion of Earth is over. They will take their ships and their troops and leave. Kal will leave. He will leave and take a piece of her heart with him because for however long she lives from this day to her last she knows that her heart will never be whole again. That a part of it will always belong to him.
Diana can guess how her mother will take the revelation of her relationship with Kal. That is to say not well. Since she is in no rush and is not feeling up to an argument with her mother Diana makes no effort to return to the palace in any hurry. When she feels up to it she will go back and she and her mother will talk.
Several hours go by and the sun sets. It is dark now and Diana has simply sat there and thought over everything that has happened to her over the last few weeks. This is the first time she has really tried to absorb everything that has happened to her. This is the first opportunity she has really had away from any distractions. Not that she considers what she and Kal shared a distraction. It was wonderful. She can close her eyes and it is almost as if she can still feel him. The way his skin moved against hers. The feel of his body next to hers. The feel of him moving within her so deeply as they made love and so much more besides. The way he would hold her afterwards. The way he would gently stroke her skin and speak to her softly. She could never understand what he was saying as he would slip into his native language but she has a pretty good guess what he was saying.
Diana looks up at the stars. She wonders briefly if a few of those pin pricks of light were actually the Kryptonian ships in orbit where he, no doubt, was by now. Getting ready to leave. Once more unbidden tears threaten to fall. She can't remember ever crying this much. Then again she can't remember ever hurting this much. The ache in her heart just won't stop. Gods. She really is in love. She can remember her friends in the League talking about past relationships where they were hurt by it ending and they would describe it as almost physically hurting. Diana had never really understood that. Not until right now.
Diana closes her eyes takes a deep breath into her lungs. She'll find a way to live with it. She has little choice but to find a way.
"Diana!"
Her eyes fly open at the sound of that voice and out to sea floating a few feet above the waves, making sure he does not touch Themyscira, her keen eyes spot J'onn. Diana gets to her feet and floats out over to him. "J'onn. What are you doing here?" she asks with some puzzlement.
"I'm sorry Diana. I know this is not a good time," J'onn says with great sympathy. It had not needed a telepath to figure out why she left suddenly the way she had. Although that helps.
"It's alright," Diana tells J'onn. "If it is important you know I'll be there. So what is it?"
"We need you to come back. You're the only one he'll see."
"The only one who will see?"
"Commander Kal-El."
Diana's heart froze. No. Absolutely not. "I'm sorry J'onn," she begins to say meaning that is the one thing she won't do.
J'onn looks at her sadly. He wishes he didn't have to do this. "If there was any other way Diana I wouldn't be asking but he won't see anyone but you and we need his help."
"What for?" Diana asks.
J'onn answers in four words. "To find Lois Lane."