Hello
I suppose this entire affair originated somewhere around this time. Given all the trouble I've been in, I can source this trouble to a single event sometime in the beginning of December. Haruhi was in a dangerous mood, the worst of moods, which was impatience. She had this frantic energy at rest like she was a object in motion. Koizumi didn't say anything to me, and neither did Nagato. This state of hers can't be natural, I'm sure of it!
On that fateful day I was whittling away a lunch hour with my two slightly interesting friends, Taniguchi and Kunikida. I haven't done much with them ever since the brigade was formed, so they were always interrogating me on what I was doing. The lethal combination of the two, their information-gathering skills were testing my will to its limit. Taniguchi would say something ridiculous , but then Kunikida would support him by giving a rational conclusion. Why do you have to sound so reasonable! It just makes me look more weird.
"Ah, there aren't many pretty girls around here." Taniguchi said out loud. "I've ranked every girl in this school and all of the A-grades either have boyfriends or are in that harem of yours, Kyon."
You are being ridiculous. I have no interest in a harem of any sort. Who puts these ideas in your head?
"The way I see it, you are one of those humble Casanovas, the ones who stick to the shadows. Unlike me, you prefer a indirect approach. You've won the girl before I've even made a move! That's brilliant!"
Life isn't a dating game, Taniguchi. Perhaps if you behaved with more manner then you would hold on to a girl for more then three weeks.
"Hey! I broke up with her, not the other away around. Isn't it a little too convenient that every B+ to A- converges on your location? I caught you with, oh, I don't remember her name. But you were in a empty classroom with a girl last year. What base did you go to?"
If this is a game we are playing, I might as well be playing American football. I don't get your metaphor.
"You went all the way? You got a touchdown? Seriously, Kyon, you might as well be one of those losers in harem animes that get all the girls. And in a classroom, too. So daring. Did Suzumiya like it?"
I picked at my curry. I give up. Whatever you say must be true. I can't say anything to the contrary.
"I've been thinking recently." Taniguchi started.
Oh, really?
"I've been thinking that the reason I'm so unlucky in love is because my pool of selection is too small. I shouldn't limit myself to a single high school! My grading system for woman is incomplete!"
I think that isn't the only thing...
"So we will go to South High and pick up some chicks. Huh? Whattya thing?" Taniguchi beamed at me. His lust was beyond human recognition.
"I can't come." I said. "I have to go to do some brigade activities."
"Nonsense! She'll have you look for a impossibility and waste the entire afternoon. Come with us, Kyon. It's been a long time."
"Come on, Kyon." Kunikida said. "You know how he is. Let's go to the arcade after he finishes offending all of the girls at another high school. Do you remember last year when we went to East High?"
Oh yeah. That was hilarious. I guess that Haruhi would have to suffer me not being there today.
"Oh, you wound me. Can you have a little confidence in me? I've learned from last time." Taniguchi grumbled into his soba. "So you are coming, right? Great. I was thinking that Suzumiya had you whipped."
During school my paranoia increased exponentially. If I bumped into any of the brigade members they would find a reason to lead to the Brigade room. I intentionally avoided places that Haruhi would frequent and chose less-used routes in the school. I tried to look inconspicuous as I crept to my companions at the exit to the school.
We walked slowly, chatting about the latest Final Fantasy and listening to Kunikida's many, many complaints. When I was younger we used to rush home and play these sorts of things, but now that I'm in high school I find that I have less and less patience and less and less time to play. It's a loss that I'm not sure I have the capacity to appreciate.
The thing about the weird structure of schools in this area is that after World War Two everything was bombed to ashes and the infrastructure was completely destroyed. The engineer that rebuilt this place sectored the area in the miniature western style, for accessibility and convenience. In other cities you can be hopelessly lost without a local because none of the streets have names to outsiders. The same engineer built it so that every sector of the city would have its own school and its own hospital. At first these changes were viewed as unnecessary and expensive but it proved to be/ far-sighted. In reality all of the schools in this area originate from a single school in the middle of the city, Central High.
South High was directly opposite from our school. I remember stories my teachers would tell that the schools were so far apart is because that delinquents used to walk from Central and get into fights every day with the outlying schools. I enjoyed the walk, but Taniguchi was impatient. He would charge ahead while me and Kunikida would keep a steady pace.
"So, Kyon, what are you going to do after you graduate?" He smiled. "I'm going to try for Tokyo university."
Good luck with that. Honestly, I don't know.
"I suppose that you don't have to worry about that... Did you parents talk to you? Mine did. They said that no matter what happens I will get a job at their company. But I don't want to be a lazy son, Kyon. I want to be recognized for my skill, not my connections." He pumped his fist. He looked serious.
My parents are actually kind of lax. But I agree with you.
"You don't want to follow Suzumiya for the rest of your life, do you?" He laughed. "I'll bet that she'll find a reason to keep you around even when you finish University. You'll be a househusband!"
Don't even think about it. That is a future that will never come to pass.
"Yah, yah, I was just joking. If this is a uncomfortable topic then we should not speak of it in public. What do you think Taniguchi would be?"
I think he would be some sort of host, but he would drive away all of the girls. He'll be a assistant to some big-shot, I think.
"Optimistic, huh? Well, I guess that it's just conjecture at this point in our lives. Think of all the things we can do once we leave home!"
After a half hour we marched to the front gate of South High. School was still in session and the gate was shut. Taniguchi looked a little disappointed, but he was still optimistic. I was content to enjoy the good weather while it lasted. I dislike winter for several reasons. One is that unlike summer you can't remove layers in order to feel more comfortable. The unpleasant cold combined with the anaemic snow means that we have a grey winter, a winter that is ugly to behold.
The bell rang and students started to filter out from the building. Taniguchi perked up and we moved out of the way as the gates opened. The students were dressed in a fashion in between the fall and the winter, which gave a mix-and-match effect. There was even a guy that was wearing shorts, insane as it is. Aren't you supposed to stop wearing those when you turn ten? I can't get modern couture...
Taniguchi took out his cell phone and attached a lens to the camera. He started to take pictures of girls.
"Taniguchi, don't you have to ask for permission to take pictures?" And what was up with that extension?
"It's a compliment, don't you think? Their beauty need to be captured in digital form."
That's a little scary, what you just said.
"I'm devoted." He grinned. Kunikida watched helplessly as he took pictures of the departing schoolgirls.
"I'm trying to find the legendary omniappeal XS grade woman. Only then can I die happy knowing that I saw such a vision of beauty." He twisted the cell phone. "The angle is perfect!"
"I've never asked, but how do you grade a woman?" Kunikida said. "It seemed rather arbitrary of you to do so."
"This system has been carefully devised over the last six years to judge the quality of schoolgirls." He whispered. "Using letter grades, I can give a general overview of a woman's suitability. Imagine a extremely normal girl, dead average in everything. This girl is purely hypothetical and would get a C grade. This doesn't happen in real life because most girls have qualities that either up or down this statistic. The many, infinite combinations of common traits is what makes the task so interesting."
I didn't understand a word you just said.
"I have written a exhaustive list on each quality and the effects it has on the six axises that define a girl, blood type, ability, amiability, looks, marks, and wealth. The mythic XS woman has a perfect score for all of this. It varies. One man's XS is another's man's B-."
I didn't need to know. But thanks for telling me.
"My pleasure. Oh! There's a hive coming in."
Hive?
"A hive has a dominant girl with a bunch of submissive girls that follow. They may even have a couple token males to serve them. Sound familiar?"
I don't know what you are talking about.
"I can't tell who is the queen in that formation... but my first impression is that they are a group of at least B+ girls. They are given a wide berth out of respect."
How do you know that? Not like I am interested...
"That girl has really long black hair." Kunikida whispered behind me. "She looks foreign."
"I agree," Taniguchi said. "Take a look, Kyon. Recognize anyone?"
I looked into the crowd. I didn't see anyone.
"The hive is moving towards us. Ah! One of them has really orange hair, or a shade of blond." Taniguchi said. "By the looks of it she doesn't have any roots. She must be either fastidious with her hair or a natural. That brunette in the center must be the queen. Even if she looks tranquil and quiet she must have a degree of respect from her peers. Look!" He snapped a picture.
I tried to look where they were talking about. His finger pointed straight at... Sasaki?
I have cut off desire
"Damn, Kyon, you scooped me again." He put down his cellphone. "How do you know the cream of the crop of our youth? Maybe I should join your brigade if you get to know so many hot woman."
You don't know what you say. Never say that again.
"You know the girl with the long black hair? Can you introduce me?" Kunikida asked me, his eyes pleading. "I'll promise that I'll do your homework for the next two weeks, just let her know that I exist!"
That girl? Suou, I think her name is? If you known that she's a inhuman interface from beyond the stars you would sing a different tune.
"First name basis? Kyon, I have to agree with Taniguchi. How much of your woman-attracting magic have you been keeping from us." Kunikida for once looked enthusiastic. It was the same kind of look that I had seen when he would talk about his hobbies.
"Well, if it isn't Kyon." Sasaki looked a little happy to see me. "You came all the way just to greet me? I would be flattered, but I'm not like that. It's good to see you."
"He's just wishy-washy, Sasaki." Fujiwara spoke up. "If you knew what I knew... This guy's a gigolo."
"I doubt that he has the same desire as his friend over here." She pointed to Taniguchi. "We share the same attitude for love. Don't we?"
You could say that. But I don't think we are that similar.
"Sure." She shrugged. "Variety is the spice of life. Are you here to accept their proposal?"
I'm here with my friends. You are as well. Let's keep that sort of talk out of this.
She smiled.
"Sasaki? The weird girl? It's been so long!" Taniguchi started to talk to Sasaki, saying nothing with a lot of words. Kunikida shyed away from the others and only my hand stopped him from running away.
"I really despise your indecisiveness, you." Fujiwara had a scowl on his face. "You should commit to a side. I don't think we even need you."
I ignored him.
"So, who's this friend of yours?" Tachibana spoke up.
"This is Kunikida." I said. "He's a little shy, actually."
Suou stared at him. Kunikida blushed. He walked behind me and used me as a shield.
Fujiwara sighed in exasperation. "Are all of your friends this childish?"
"You know better. Stop that." Tachibana scolded him, and he became quiet. "Suou, say hello."
I suddenly realized that in a way, I was reminded of the SOS brigade by the way they acted. That fact creeped me out even more then the coincidence that had just happened.
"Hello," she said, hesitantly. She spoke like a human being! That was astounding! Her companions looked equally shocked.
"Heh, she's a little shy, too." Tachibana laughed a insincere laugh. "You'll have to forgive her."
Fujiwara gave up any pretension of politeness. "Suou, too? Guess that her stupidity is contagious. I'm off."
Taniguchi's conversation came to a natural end. Sasaki and the rest started to follow Fujiwara out of school.
"Kyon?" I heard her say. "We really aren't that bad. Come visit us another time." She smiled, and she walked away.
A little while past and eventually everyone left the school. Only the teachers were left and a scattered bunch of club members.
"Oh my goodness! I didn't take pictures of all the girls!" Taniguchi started to weep. "I was so absorbed into talking with the A+ girl that I totally forgot!"
"Don't be so sad, Taniguchi." Kunikida said. "You can always pick up a yearbook later. But did you hear that? She spoke to me!"
I don't think that's much of a victory. But for you, I guess it's worth celebrating for.
"Aha! This is where Kyon's been hiding." I turned around. The entire brigade was here and Haruhi was staring a hole into my skull. "What are you doing here?"