The Spellbook Chapter 21: Adult Human Ninja Griffins, a family guy fanfic

Chapter 21: Adult Human Ninja Griffins

(A/N: I created a forum named 'Family Guy Fanfics', to talk about any FG fanfic from this web. I suggest you to go there and, if you have a FG fanfic, you may open a thread to talk about it. Thanks to Bhaalspawn, who was the only one who noticed this)

It was a quiet night at Quahog. Well, it would be a quiet night if there weren't for two people: Peter and Meg Griffin. Peter and Meg were at the roof of a apartment buildings, clanking at each other carefully. Peter was dressed totally in black, except for his head, which only wore a headband there, like a ninja, and he was holding a sword. Meg, in front of him, was also dressed as a ninja and holding a sword, but she was wearing a pink sleeveless shirt, pink tight shirts that went down to her knees, and a black headband. Both were in battle stances, looking at each other.

Meg then rushed towards Peter, and attacked him with her sword, but Peter parried the attack. Peter then countered back with more deadly swings, but Meg's fencing skills was nice enough to avoid the swipes. But, unluckily for Meg, Peter hurt her hand badly, making Meg to drop her sword. Peter waste no time and tried to impale his daughter, but Meg jumped in the nick of time and landed on Peter's blade, holding perfect balance. Before Peter could do something, Meg grabbed her dad with her legs in a headlock, and punched his fat face several times. Peter then began to run in circles, until he finally could keep off Meg from his face, and after lifting her daughter over his head, Peter threw Meg against a wall.

But Meg could gain balance again, and avoided a very painful hit against the wall landing with her legs, and stretched it again to be propulsed against Peter. She took advantage of her position, and set her legs to dropkick her dad, but her feet were stuck between Peter's massive fat.

"What the hell is this?" asked Meg in shock.

"You suck as a ninja, Meg" said Peter. "And you'll still suck as a falling body!" said Peter before lifting Meg again and throwing her out of the building.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" screamed Meg while she fell to her almost unavoidable doom…

48 hours earlier

"So, here we are" said Peter as he stopped the station wagon, and he and the rest of the family stepped out of the car.

The Griffins and the Kennedys decided to spend the Friday afternoon altogether, and they were now in the local multiscreen movie complex, deciding what movie they should watch.

"Hey, how about this?" asked Lois as he pointed to a banner showing a movie. Its title was 'The winter Road'. It seemed to be a romantic chick flick movie that Lois usually likes.

"Pff, come on Lois" laughed Peter. "Watching that is even worse idea than let Jesus to be the designated driver" said Peter.

Cutaway

Jesus is with some friends drinking at chatting as a bar. When one of his friends notices that he's drinking too, he reprimanded him.

"Hey, Jesus! You're our designated driver! You can't drink booze!" complained the man.

"Don't worry, dude, it's only water" said Jesus as he showed him a glass of water.

"Oh, okay then" said the man, as he resumed his conversation with other friends.

Jesus then hides the glass of water, and turned it into whine.

(A/N: This flashback is not mine. I saw it in a Cyanide&Hapiness comics)

End Cutaway

"But I though that you liked chick flicks after watching 'Autumn Piano'" said Lois, confused.

"No, I didn't" said Peter.

"Peter, you even make your own chick flick after that!" said Lois, annoyed. "Why are you saying that you don't like chick flicks anymore?"

"Because we're in a cartoon, and cartoons tends to ignore continuity" explained Peter.

"Touché" said Lois.

"Hey, we could watch this!" said Rosie as he pointed to a banner showing a crappy Disney movie called 'The little Sugar in the land of Broccoli'.

"Yes! I'm with Rosie!" said Chris excited, as he bumped up and down.

"No, we should go to watch this one!" said Stewie, pointing to a banner that showed an horror/gore movie.

"Stewie, I don't think that's a movie suitable for you" said Lois, as he picked her baby.

"Not suitable for me!?" asked Stewie, angered. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Hey, didn't you decided what movie are you going to watch yet?" asked a familiar voice. Then everybody turned back and saw Joe with his wife Bonnie.

"Hi Joe" saluted Meg. "Yes, we don't know what to watch"

"Would you recommend us a movie?" asked Brian.

"Sure!" said Joe, cheered. "We came here to watch 'Ninjas in the sunset'. It's a freaking awesome movie!"

"Yes, we already watched it nineteen times, but Joe seems to never get tired of watch it one time after another…" said Bonnie with disdain. His voice proved how tired she was of that movie. "Joe, I told you a thousand times, why don't you download it?"

"Two reasons, Bonnie." Said Joe. "First of all, I'm a cop, and downloading movies from the internet is illegal, although I don't give a crap about it. And second, and most important, INTERNET SUCKS!!!" foamed Joe.

"That's because you don't know to use it properly " stated Bonnie.

Flashback

Joe is typing something in some random forum. After that, he got misspelled hate posts of internet trolls insulting him in many ways.

"WHAT?" yelled Joe after reading the posts. "NOBODY CALLS ME THAT!!!"

Joe then pulled out his gun and shot several times to the screen

End Flashback

"Why don't you ask Kevin to help you?" suggested Lois. "Teenagers knows a lot about computers"

"Kevin? Who the hell is Kevin?" asked Joe.

"Kevin. Your elder son" said Lois, a bit confused.

"I don't know what you are talking about" said Joe.

"Yes, I remember that you had a son named Kevin" said Meg. "I even hang out with him some time ago, but he suddenly disappeared for no reason some years ago"

"I told you. Continuity is ignored" whispered Peter to Lois.

"Well, we're going to…wait, YOU!" shouted Bonnie after noticing Life, who was standing in the line for buying popcorns.

"Crap, it's her!" said Life as she ran away.

"COME HERE, YOU WENCH!!" shouted Bonnie before chasing Life. "COME HERE AND MAKE ME TO GIVE BIRTH!!"

"Well, I must get her before she get hurt" said Joe before wheeling away. "Remember, 'Ninjas in the sunset' you won't regret!"

"Okay, let's go to see that movie"

They decided to follow Joe's advice and go to watch 'Ninjas in the sunset', a movie about ninjas, as somebody could expect, because it's not one of that movies with a promising title but then you discover that the movie has nothing to do with the title and it's a complete waste of time.

Some moments later, they are now watching the movie. Rosie can't hear well because she is behind two teenagers which are making it rather than watching the movie. She then decides that she must do something.

"Hey, Stewie, wanna see my new power?" asked Rosie.

"Sure!" said Stewie, pretty interested.

"Then look carefully at those jerks" said Rosie pointing to the couple.

"Oh Lisa, I love you so much" said the boy.

"Me too Josh" said the girl as they continued to make it. "Oh Josh!" groaned the girl.

Rosie's eyes began to glow its trademark blue shine.

"Oh Mandy!" shouted Rosie in a perfectly imitated voice of the male teen.

"Mandy!?" asked the female teen, upset. "Who is Mandy!?"

"Mandy? What are you talking about? I don't know of anybody with that name!" stammered the boy.

"You liar! You're cheating me with another girl named Mandy!" shouted the girl.

"But…!"

"We're over!!" cried the girl before pouring the coke over his now ex boyfriend and running away from the cinema.

"Shit…" muttered the teen boy as he walked away, covered in coke.

Rosie and Stewie then began to snort really loud at the sight of that scene.

"Rose Mary!" called Matt, angrily. "Don't use your powers that way!"

"Hey, they deserved it!" replied Rosie. "Besides, I did them a favor. He was gay."

"Anyway, gay or not, what you did was wrong" reprimanded Matt.

"Geez. Dad, you're more buzz killer than Buzz Killington" said Rosie.

"Buzz killer? Me?" said Matt.

Flashback

Matt returns to the Griffin house after a hard day working at the pizzeria.

"Matt!" greeted Meg as she hugged him.

"Hi, honey" said Matt.

"How was your day?" asked Meg

"It was fine, but, I'm so tired from work…" said Matt.

"Oh, don't' worry, I know a perfect way to remedy that" said Meg in a seductive tone, before going both to the sofa and began to make it out.

"MOM!" shouted Rosie, teleporting between her parents. "It's feeding time!" said Rosie as she pulled up Meg's shirt, removed her bra and began to suckle Meg's breasts.

"Rosie, your mother and I were just to-bah, nevermind" said Matt.

End Flashback

"Be quiet, please!" complained Meg. "We're causing a scene!"

"Shut up, Meg" said Peter.

"No, everybody shut up!" said Lois. "And Meg is right; we're making a scene, just like that time at my grandma's funeral"

Flashback

Peter and Lois are in Newport celebrating one of Lois' grandma's funerals. Everybody was in silence as the priest was talking about death, the afterlife, to rejoice for the people which are now in the heaven and other stuff like that.

"Hey sir, can you go faster?" asked Peter, and everybody glared at him coldly, especially carter.

"Peter!" called Lois.

"Hey, I only said what everybody else is thinking" replied Peter, but when he noticed the scything glare of Lois, he decided to shut up. But not for too long. "Hey, Lois, I took Meg's magic book. Look at this" said peter before casting a spell.

Everybody watched in horror how Lois' grandma came again to life as a zombie, and attacked one of Lois' relatives. The rest of the assistants fled in horror.

"Hehehehehehehe, poor bastard, he's going to die" laughed Peter.

End flashback

Half an hour later, the movie has ended and they're now in the car back to home.

"It was a good movie after all" commented Brian. "Although ninjas a bit overused"

"Yes, but it was worth for it" said Matt.

"Worth for it?" asked Peter. "It was freaking sweet!! I must thank Joe when I see him. That movie made my day"

The very next day, Rosie was sat alone in the couch watching TV when she's approached by Stewie.

"Hi, Rose, what are you doing?" asked Stewie.

"Watching TV, but there's nothing worth to watch" sighed Rosie. "Do you want to play something?"

"Oh, sure I do, my little red haired friend!" said Stewie, who smiled with an evil grin. "In fact, this night I though in a cool game we could play using your new power"

"A game that implies imitating voices?" asked Rosie a bit confused.

"Here it goes…" said Stewie before whispering to his niece the plan.

"But…isn't that a bit cruel?" asked Rosie.

"I'll pay you" said Stewie.

"Deal!" said Rosie happily.

Moments later, Stewie and Rosie are in the upper floor, where Stewie is setting up something.

"Okay, it's ready" said Stewie. "Oh, I can't wait to see it in action. Rosie, your turn. And remember, make it sound real"

"Okay" said Rosie before her eyes began to glow. Then she looked to a paper. "Brian, come here!" said Rosie in Lois' voice, in a very provocative tone. "Come upstairs, I have something special for you!"

Brian then walked from the kitchen gasping, excited, and rushed upstairs, but when he arrived at the upper floor, he tripped with a rope who was conveniently placed and fell to the floor. However, when the dog hit the floor, a plank pushed by a spring pushed him backwards, and fell downstairs rolling. Stewie and Rosie burst in laughs at the sight of this.

"Wha…what the hell!?" asked Brian as he stood up and wiped out the blood from his face.

"God, watching that was just priceless!" laughed Stewie.

"Did you do this?" asked the dog, pissed. "How could you imitate Lois' voice?" asked again. But the answer popped instantly in his mind. "Rosie! Why did you help him?"

"Because it was funny" stated Rosie. "And for this" said as she showed the dog a $10 bill.

"You…you're going to regret of this…" said Brian in an injured voice.

"Oh, really? And what are you going to do?" mocked Stewie. "Because this is not like the last time I beat you. With Rosie at my side, I'm untouchable, MWAHAHAHAHA!!"

"Just wait and see…" said the dog as he walked away.

"Wow, look at that expression" said Rosie. "If I wouldn't have powers, I'd be scared"

"Yes, I guess that me too, but what's going to do? Go to the internet and cry?" laughed Stewie.

Meanwhile, Peter is in the Drunken Clam talking with his friends about his night out.

"So, did you like 'Ninjas in the Sunset'?" asked Joe.

"Sure I did!" said Peter, still excited about the movie. "The action, the plot, the characters, the bestiality…I'm not sure how that came up exactly, but I've never watched such an awesome movie!!"

"Then we should watch it too if it's that good" said Cleveland.

"I'll wait until it releases on DVD, or maybe I'll download it" said Quagmire. "I have very bad experiences in cinemas…"

"You? Bad experiences?" asked Peter.

"Well, cinemas are usually dark, and you see nothing but the movie…you can't ever see if the girl at your side is beautiful or ugly…or it is a girl at all" explained Quagmire.

"Ohhhhh…" said the rest in realization.

"Anyway, after watching that movie, I want to be a ninja too!" said Peter.

"Peter, you can't be a ninja only because you want to" said Joe. "Ninjas were assassins trained since they were kids in martial arts, stealth and weapon mastery. And you suck on that"

"Oh, really?" asked Peter. "You won't think the same after THIS!!" shouted Peter and threw a smoke bomb. But, when the smoke faded, Peter was still there, lying on the floor, fighting for breath. "Call and ambulance…" said Peter before fainting.

Hours later, after the lunch, the entire family was in the couch watching TV.

"Hey, did you know where's Peter?" asked Lois, a bit worried. "It's too odd that he didn't come back by lunch time"

"Who knows, mother" said Stewie, who was sit on Lois' lap. "Maybe he tripped over something!" said Stewie, before he and Rosie laughed and high five.

"Piss off!" muttered Brian.

"Don't worry mom" said Chris. "I'm sure that dad's okay. What's the worse thing that may happen?"

Suddenly, Peter burst in the house through the window, breaking it into pieces. He was dressed as a ninja.

"Haha! Everybody fear Peter the fat ninja!" shouted Peter in a theatrical way.

"Does that answer your question?" said Meg dryly.

"Peter, why the hell are you dressed like that?" asked Lois, annoyed.

"Lois, last night I realize of something…when I watched that movie, I realized that the world needs ninjas…and that I can be one of them!" shouted Peter as he threw randomly some shurikens to the floor.

"Does he do this every time he watches a movie?" asked Matt, confused.

"Oh, sure he does" said Brian. "Like that time after watching Hancock…"

Flashback

Peter is in the Clam, dressed as Hancock carrying some beers to his friends' table, when he walks over a very huge, muscular guy, dropping the beers.

"Sorry sir!" said the muscular man. "It was my fault"

"Of course it was your fault!" said Peter in a very overbearing manner. "Look what you've done, you idiot!!"

"Hey, I said I'm sorry, what else do you want?" asked the man, pissed.

"And do you think that you can fix everything with a 'sorry', bitch?" asked Peter.

"Hey, Jim, is there anything wrong?" asked another man, presumed to be the huge man's friend.

"No, it's just this asshole" said Jim.

"Okay, call me asshole again and I'm going to stick your head in your ass" said Peter.

The two guys began to crunch their knuckles.

End Flashback

"Or that time after watching Mission Impossible…"

Flashback

Lois walks to the kitchen when she sees a recorder on the table. She switched it on.

"Lois, I'm on the Clam and I'll be late for dinner. This message will explode in 2 seconds" said the recording.

"What the…?" tried to say Lois, but she was interrupted when the recorded exploded.

End Flashback

"But worst of all was what happened after watching Broke Back Mountain" said Brian.

Flashback

Quagmire knocked the door of the Griffin house, and he saw Peter opening the door.

"Hello, Quagmire" said Peter, who was dressed as a cowboy.

"Hi, Peter, nice cowboy costume!" said Quagmire. "Well, you called me saying that you have something important to tell me"

"Yes, I have, but, don't stay out there, get in!" offered Peter, and Quagmire entered in the house.

"So, what do you want?" asked Quagmire.

"Hey, what's the rush? Sit on the couch" said Peter, and Quagmire sat on the couch. "Beer?"

"Sure!" replied Quagmire.

Peter then brought two beers and gave one to Quagmire. He then sat on the couch, very close to his friend. Then he yawned and stretched his arms, placing his hand on Quagmire's shoulder.

"P-peter, what are you doing?" asked Quagmire a bit scared.

But Peter only smiled and whistled the 'Cowboy Gay Sex' tune…

End Flashback

"But don't worry, you'll get used to it" said Brian.

"Oh, and by the way, Meg, I need you to use the spellbook to give me ninja skill" said Peter.

"No way!" replied Meg in a very forceful way.

"And why not?" asked Peter.

"Two reasons: First, every time you ask me something like this, something disastrous happen!" shouted Meg.

"Come on Meg, if you do me this favor, I…" was about to say Peter, but he was interrupted.

"…going to buy me a car?" asked Meg.

"Yes! Did you developed mind reading powers?" asked Peter.

"That's the second point! You're always promising me a car, but you never buy it!" said Meg. "You owe me more than 20 cars already!"

"That's not my fault" said Peter. "We are in a cartoon, and cartoons tend to ignore continuity. Just like those times I say that I'm going to treat you with more respect, but in the next episode I'm treating you like crap again, and nobody finds that odd"

"Well, this time is going to be different!" said Meg. "If you want to use magic for some wacky schemes of yours, you have to buy me a car first!"

"Meg, if you want a car so bad, why don't you use the spellbook for that?" asked Lois. "You could also use the spellbook for become popular, become more intelligent and get higher grades on school, being rich, and end with the hunger in the world and much more things. I mean, we only used the spellbook for stupid things like cursing Connie, shrinking Peter, getting trapped in a 2-D shoot'em up, summon ghosts of people that hate us, prevent Peter from lying, create a blizzard, or flood the whole town. I mean, why don't you use the spellbook for doing something useful?"

"Because of the same reason of why Rosie doesn't use her powers to enslave us" said Meg.

"Touché" said Lois.

"But I maybe use the book for getting a car, so forget about of being a ninja!"

"That's your final answer?" said Peter. "Well, if you don't do it, I'll be annoying you so much that you'll wish that…you'll wish that I wouldn't be annoying you so much! Could you live with that, couldn't you? Huh? Because I'm really going to annoy you until you use that damn book to turn me into a ninja. I'm going to be REALLY annoying. Could you live with that?""

"Okay…" sighed Meg. "I know that I'm going to regret on this…" sighed Meg as she walked upstairs. Moments later, she went down again with a black headband.

"Hey, what's that?" asked Peter.

"Anyone who wears this headband will be a true ninja, I mean, he will be skilled at in martial arts, stealth and weapon mastery, basically things that you suck at" explained Meg"

"Sweet!" said Peter as he took the headband and wrapped it around his forehead. Suddenly, he felt s shiver running through his body.

"Peter, are you okay?" asked Lois.

"I've ever felt better!" shouted Peter. "I can feel the power of the ninjas running through my veins! Now, let's do some ninja stuff!" said Peter as he jumped through the window again.

"I have a bad feeling about this…" said Lois.

"Just like anytime does this kind of stupid stuff" pointed Chris.

"Yeah, I guess that I should get used to it…" said Lois nonchalantly.

Moments later, Stewie, who is holding a notebook, and Rosie are in the living room. He's helping Rosie to find other powers of hers, in order to use them for their twisted purposes.

"Okay, now we are going to test your ability in levitation" said Stewie. "You can levitate small objects, but try to levitate something bigger…like the couch"

"The couch?" asked Rosie. "But it's too heavy!"

"It's heavy because you think that it's heavy! Remember when we watched Matrix! There's no couch!" encouraged Stewie.

"Okay…" said Rosie, before breathing out heavily. She then looked at the couch, and tried to lift it.

At the beginning, the couch didn't seem to move an inch, but it slowly began to float in the air. When the couch was about ten inches from the floor, Rosie suddenly dropped it down, making a loud noise.

"Excellent" said Stewie, who was taking notes. "She can lift such a heavy object. This will be good…" though the evil baby. "See? It wasn't that hard"

"Stewie, from your point of view, this may be easy, but it was pretty exhausting" said Rosie, breathless.

"Okay, this is your next trial" said Stewie, and he blew up a balloon. "Pop this balloon"

"That's all?" asked Rosie. She then scratched it with her small fingernails, and popped it.

"Um, Rose Mary, you didn't understand me" said Stewie. "I wanted you to pop it using your powers" said Stewie before blowing up another balloon.

"Oh, okay" said Rosie, and without even making any effort, popped it.

"Perfect!" said Stewie. "Now we go to your next trial, when you must combine what you learned in this past two trials" Stewie then leaded Rosie to the kitchen, when Lois was doing some housework. "I want you to pop Lois' head like you did with the balloon"

"What? You want me to make grandma's head to explode?" asked Rosie, confused. "Why?"

"Because it's full of…full of…damn, what kind of candies the kids usually eat today…oh, screw it, because it's full chocolate!" said Stewie.

"I love chocolate!" said Rosie, excited.

"Well, you know what to do" said Stewie.

Rosie's eyes, focused on Lois, began to glow. Lois suddenly took her hands to her head.

"Uh…what's happening?" asked Lois, who was suffering a bad headache.

"It's working! Keep it!" said Stewie.

"Stewie…I can't do it…it's not like popping a balloon" complained Rosie.

"Come on, you're almost done with it! Keep it a bit longer!" said Stewie, excited.

"Crap!" said Rosie, as her eyes stopped from glowing.

"What happened?" asked Stewie, displeased.

"I soiled myself" said Rosie. Stewie then slowly stepped backwards.

Later that night, in Newport, Carter Pewterschmidt is in one of the many Country Club parties with other wealthy people, when somebody threw two smoke bombs, filling the whole place with smoke. When the smoke faded, there stood Peter with some ninja minions.

"Haha! Everybody fear Peter the Fat Ninja!" shouted Peter. "Oh, and this is a robbery"

"Peter?" asked Carter in shock. "What the hell are you doing here? And why are you dressed like catwoman?"

"I'm dressed like a ninja, you idiot!" shouted Peter, as he threw some shurikens, nailing Carter by her clothes to a wall. "Everybody, now give us all your valuables, or things will get worse than that time I volunteer at a school to teach Fire Security!"

Flashback

Peter is in a elemental school classroom dressed as a firefighter.

"Okay kids, now we will learn what to do when some small fire is set on our house. The most common place for this to happen is the kitchen. I mean your mother could be a sucker in the kitchen and burn that delicious turkey for Thanksgiving dinner, just like this." Said Peter. He then set on fire a casserole with some food. "What we should do? First, look for something to put out the flames"

Peter then turned back and began to search something in his firefighting backpack, but he farted very loudly, making the fire bigger and spreading it over the clasroom.

"Crap!" said Peter. "Don't worry, if the fire get worse, you must do this" said Peter. "Fire! Fire! Every man for himself!" shouted Peter in panic.

End Flashback

Meanwhile, back at the Griffin house, everybody is in the kitchen having dinner while watching TV, when the program that they were watching is cut to show the news.

"Hello, I'm Tom Tucker with a special report" said Tom Tucker. "Just ten minutes ago, a fat guy dressed as a ninja burst in the Newport Country Club and mugged all the presents"

"A fat guy?" asked Meg in horror. "Dressed as a ninja? Oh, why I'm not surprised!"

"The Newport Country Club?" said Lois in horror. "Oh my god, I hope that he hasn't hurt daddy!" said Lois, worried.

"We have a special report that the Quahog Local Bank is being held up by this unknown fat ninja and his minions" said Diane. "We now go to our Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa who is in front of the banks door, Tricia?"

"Thank you, Diane. As you can see, I'm in front of the bank, where the band of ninja thieves are- hey, wait a minute, they are trying to escape!" said Tricia, and the camera then focused on Peter and his minions, who were carrying bags of money.

"Okay, fat ninja, this is enough already!" yelled Joe with a megaphone. "Give up and we won't use the force against you!"

"Shut up! I don't accept orders from cop, and I also don't accept orders from handicapped people, much less from a handicapped cop!" shouted Peter.

"What? Are you discriminate against me for being handicapped? Oh, YOU'RE GOING DOWN!!" yelled Joe, as he pulled out his gun and shot several times at Peter.

Peter pullet out his sword, and parried all the deadly shots with it, surprising everybody.

"That was nice, but useless!" laughed Peter. "And now it's our turn! Come on, boys!"

"Yes, Master!" said one of the henchman ninjas, and they threw shurikens to the police cars' wheels, letting the air out. And seconds later, for no reason, the police cars exploded.

"I wonder when policemen will stop buying cars that explode when the wheels are burst. Come on guys, let's get out of here!" shouted Peter as he and his minions jumped to a nearby car's roof began to jump from car to car, collapsing the traffic. And one of the collapsed car was a yellow Volkswagen Beetle, with Death and Life inside it.

"You maniac!" shouted Death. "Fine! I have two deaths and I'm going to be late"

"I know what it feels." Replied Life. "I forget about the day that Bonnie Swanson would give birth, and well, now it's a bit awkward when we see each other"

"It seems that we're going to be here for a while. Wanna go back and…?" asked Death in a very seductive tone.

"For the last time, NO!" shouted Life.

"Come on, you had sex with me the last weekend!" said Death.

"I said I was drunk, okay?" shouted Life. "Now let it go"

"No!" shouted Death.

"Okay…how about five minutes of pity sex in exchange of cleaning the house for a whole month?" asked Life.

"Deal!" said Death, and both jumped to the back seat.

"Hey, it's that in the roof a camera?" asked Life.

"Well, my mom's always asking a proof that I'm not gay" explained Death.

Back at the Griffin house, Lois, Matt and Meg are talking about Peter.

"God, I shouldn't do that" said Meg. "Now dad is causing chaos everywhere!"

"And, with his new ninja skills, police is unable to stop him" commented Matt.

"I called dad and told me that he's okay" said Lois. "But Peter could hurt somebody if he keeps with this crap!"

"I guess that there's only one thing I can do to stop him…" said Meg as she pulled out another magic headband. "Become a ninja too!"

Meanwhile, upstairs, Stewie is in his room playing with his toys, when, suddenly, Rupert began to float in the air.

"Rupert? What the deuce?" asked Stewie in shock.

"Stewie…" whispered a suave and soft male voice.

"Rupert…are you talking to me?" asked Stewie, excited.

"Stewie…come to me…" said Rupert as he flew out of the room and went downstairs.

Stewie, almost hypnotized, followed the flying teddy bear downstairs, but he couldn't see that there was a conveniently placed rope tied between the wall and the handrail, making him trip and fall downstairs rolling. He could hear the voices of Brian and Rosie laughing their asses off.

"What the hell…?" asked Stewie, trying to recover from the fall.

"Do you though that I forgot about it, don't you?" teased Brian.

"You damn vengeful dog!" shouted Stewie, outraged. "But how could you make Rupert to fly and that voice…"

"Oh, that was me" said Rosie in that male voice.

"Rosie, you traitor! Why did you do it?" asked Stewie.

"Because it was funny" said Rosie "And for this" said Rosie as he showed a $50 bill.

"I can believe you sold yourself like a street whore!" said Stewie.

"Oh, come on Stewie, don't be mad at me" said Rosie. "Besides, you deserved it after what you did to Brian"

"I though that I could trust in you!" cried Stewie. "But this is what you get when you trust in a woman"

"Oh, don't say that!" said Rosie. "How can I make up for it?"

"There's nothing you can to for making me to forgive you for this betrayal!" shouted he thought about it better. "Well…would you do that voice again whenever I play with Rupert?" asked Stewie.

"Um…sure" said Rosie.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Quahog, Peter and his ninjas were in a building's roof, jumping from roof to roof in order to find more people to mug.

"This is a great night for a ninja thief" said Peter. "Don't you think it too, guys?"

"Sure!"

"Totally!"

"A perfect night!"

"But your reign of terror ends right here!" shouted a female voice.

"Who said that?" said Peter as he looked angrily to his minions.

"It was her, Master!" said one of the minions, pointing at Meg.

"Meg?" asked Peter.

"Dad, you went too far, and I came here to stop you!" said Meg in a challenging tone.

"You? Stop me?" laughed Peter. "Nobody stops Peter the Fat Ninja! Come on guys, teach her a lesson!"

The henchmen ninjas dashed towards Meg and prepared to attack. Meg stood there in a battle stance. The first ninja charged against her, but she quickly put him out of action. Another one attacked her in a backstabbing move, but Meg was able to dodge it, and knock him out with a powerful kick. She then dispatched the last minion ninja slamming his head against a wall.

"Whoa, you beat my minions!" said Peter, impressed. "But here comes the true challenge!"

"Challenge or not, I will win!" shouted Meg.

"What the hell is this?" asked Meg in shock.

"You suck as a ninja, Meg" said Peter. "And you'll still suck as a falling body!" said Peter before lifting Meg again and throwing her out of the building.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" screamed Meg while she fell to her almost unavoidable doom.

But Meg's new enhanced perception saved her, when she saw a clothesline, and could grab it, breaking her fall. Using the clothesline as a balancing point, Meg performed two somersaults, landing on the clothesline, and pulled out another sword. Peter then jumped to the clothesline too, and there, in a perfect balance, they resumed their swordfight. In a missed swing, Peter cut the clothesline, and both fell to the floor. But, fortunately for both, they both landed on some trash containers.

They got out of the containers, and began to wipe the trash out of their suits. After they were done, they resumed again the fight. Meg rushed towards Peter, jumped on the wall and used it for perform a somersault jump over her dad, and swiped one last slash to his head. Aparently, Meg's attack had no effect.

"Haha, you failed!" mocked Peter.

"I don't think so" said Meg, self confident.

Then, peter's headband fell from his forehead to the ground. Suddenly, Peter turned back to his usual appearance, and fainted.

"God, it's finally over" sighed Meg, removing her headband too.

Later that night, after Peter and Meg's fight, everybody is sitting in the living room.

"Well, Peter's ninja days are over" said Meg with relief.

"It was a luck that all the people Peter mugged dropped the charges against him if he gave back all the things he stole and an apologize" commented Lois.

"Now there's only one question left" said Matt. "How much time will pass until Peter becomes obsessed with another movie?"

The answer came quickly when Peter walked in the living room dressed as a pokemon trainer.

"Well, I'm ready for my pokemon adventure!" said Peter excited.

"Lois, seriously, why are you still married to him?" asked Brian dryly.

"Shut up!" said Peter before tossing a pokeball, trapping the dog inside it.

End Chapter