Chapter 20: Of Monsters and Scars
L sat in a corner stuffing sugar cubes in his mouth as his eyes stayed fixated on one part in the carpet. It's not that there was anything particularly interesting about the spot, he just didn't know what else to do. The team couldn't do much else but track recent deaths and try to find other leads - none of which ever went anywhere. He found himself sending them home frequently out of a lack of work. The investigation had gone a little stale since surveillance ceased – and L couldn't wait to get to To-Ho to confront Light head on – he was sure that Light was KIRA and that the team would find themselves quite busy once they met.
Even though he wanted to solve this case, it wasn't what was on his mind. The most recent events had his thoughts so twisted and convoluted that even he was having a hard time putting the pieces together.
Suddenly he heard a click from the other side of the door, his head popped up just in time to see Watari entering as he removed his hat, he held his breath until he saw Mishca following closely behind. He let a small sigh of relief escape his lips as he watched. He stood up in anticipation but Mishca walked right passed him to her room and shut the door. He stared at the closed door with sad eyes. "Give her time, Ryuzaki." Watari spoke quietly as he moved near him. L slowly looked at Watari. "Time? No, I need answers" he spat and he stormed into her room.
As he entered Mishca was just taking off a sweatshirt that revealed a spaghetti strap top underneath. Her back was towards him and he could see the top part of the angel wing scars.
"What were you thinking, just leaving like that?" The anger in his voice was easy to spot.
"What were you thinking, letting Watari go to something like that by himself?"
"Don't speak of things you know nothing about" he snapped.
She turned to face him, eyes boring into his.
"Assuming I know nothing is a rather large risk, don't you think?"
"Then enlighten me"
"You are not the only orphan he has ever cared about, he was close to his heart as well. You should have supported him."
He swallowed, "I don't see how anyone could care for that thing"
"Thing? Was he not human?" She nagged him, although her efforts to irritate him didn't work.
"… He was a… monster"
She stared towards the floor, she couldn't help but agree, not that she could tell L that though.
"Monster?" she asked as her gaze went back to him, "What made him a monster?"
"He abused his gift… used it selfishly… he felt righteous in his acts, even though they hurt people. That's someone I'd never want to turn into."
"A monster, or B?"
"They're one in the same."
He bit his thumb,
"I understand" she said, thinking that this was part of the reason Watari told her L would be displeased if he found out that she actually knew B – she couldn't help but wonder how he would react if he actually did find out.
"You couldn't possibly understand my reasoning for not going. It's not so simple."
"No… I've learned it never is with you." She said as she sat on the bed.
"We're digressing; you were gone before the funeral as well, where did you go?" He said as he reached in his pocket and brought out her watch, flinging it to the bed. She looked at the watch and then back to him, "If I didn't wear that, I obviously didn't want to be found. Why do my whereabouts concern you?"
"You could have been hurt, or killed by KIRA, and I would've never known until you showed on our list of victims"
"I obviously must not be speaking clearly, why does any of this concern you? Where I am, whether or not I'm still alive, none of this is pertinent to the investigation." She went cold in an attempt to stop him from going any further, but it didn't work.
"I'm not asking these questions because they effect the investigation."
"Then what do they affect?"
He looked away, "Me."
She was quiet for a moment,
"It was wrong of me to come back – I should go."
He whipped his head around to face her, "I'd prefer if you stayed"
"That's why I shouldn't be here. You shouldn't have a preference, no one is supposed to be distracting you from this case –"
He cut her off, "Has it ever come to your attention that I may welcome that distraction?"
"Welcoming distraction is welcoming death, and I won't allow it. I'm no good for you, just stay away"
"Stop saying that."
"Then start listening."
They glared at each other.
"Why may I ask, are you so concerned for my safety then?"
"Without you this case would be lost and KIRA would win."
"Is that all?" She watched as his face changed expressions.
"Yes." She had to lie to push him away, it was the only way.
"I see…" he bit his thumb and looked to the ground, not happy with her answer. "You'll be a distraction no matter where you are, at least stay and help with the case."
She sighed. "Ok."
He turned to leave and walked towards the door, before he opened it he asked one more question, "First right?"
"What?"
"Your back. I'm assuming you still won't tell me how or why it happened?"
"I told you, don't concern yourself with my scars."
At that he nodded his head and closed the door behind him.
On the other side of the door he found Watari sitting at the computer, he turned in the chair when he heard L shuffling towards him. "Did you manage to get the answers you were looking for?"
L shoved his hands in his pockets and looked past Watari and out the window. "I got answers – none of which were satisfactory."
Watari nodded his head,
"Mishca said I should have supported you – forgive me if I came across crass, you know my feelings towards him – it appears I may have let that cloud my decision"
Watari smiled, shook his head and let out a small chuckle.
"What do you find so amusing?"
"She really has a way with you, doesn't she?"
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing… she is just good for you, you have grown since her arrival."
He let out a harsh breath, "Good for me? She says otherwise."
"Is that so?"
He slumped over to the chair and plopped in it, maneuvering himself into his usual sitting position. "Mmm. Yes, I'm not quite sure what to do about it…"
"The answer will come to you in time"
"… what do you know of the scar on her back?"
"Nothing I'm afraid, I did not dare to ask."
He bit down on his finger, "it's not a perfect representation of wings, but still, the outline is quite intricate… a lot of effort has to be put into something like that… and how deep did they have cut to make such a scar?"
"Quite deep, I'm sure."
He bit down harder on his finger, "The scar wasn't wanted, I'm certain of that… it's evident from the shaky lines of the wings, she didn't stay still for it… meaning she wasn't numbed or medicated… and probably struggled…"
"I can't imagine how excruciating that had to be. Who would put her through something like that?"
L's gaze fell to Mishca's door, "A monster"