A/N This week has been crazy busy. I have been swamped with essay and reports with stupidly close deadlines.
I have been writing this chapter for days and found it quite a struggle. Although some aspects of my story are similar to the books, i have altered and changed a few things.
Thank you all for your patience!
The anger radiating off of Christian is palpable, I'm sure if this was a cartoon there would be steam billowing from his ears. Those striking grey eyes blaze and his chest is heaving at a 100 mph. The hold he has around me is becoming painful.
" Christian your hurting me baby" I whisper and the hold immediately relaxes.
" Explain" He commands at Taylor
" Witness reports state that a woman matching Ms Lincoln's description was spotted lingering around the vancinity before the attack took place. She was described as looking edgy and solely focus on the bar. I got a phone call at lunchtime from an acquaintance who provided me with these details and it instantly rang a bell so I acquire some of the tapes and ordered Barney to search her records. This is when it was discovered that she had applied and attained a gun license and purchased a weapon alongside some ammunition. We have had surveillance tracking her since this afternoon and we saw two unidentified subjects entering her home. We believe one of these suspects is the shooter. I contacted the police with every piece of information in our possession but protocol prevented them from acting immediately, they have to verify the evidence before making any arrests. During this time, the group had managed to exit Lincoln's property and unfortunately the tail we had on them was lost. They haven't been seen since."
The only thing keeping Christian from charging out the room right now is me.
" That fucking bitch!" He screams and leaps up. Christian paces the room frantically " Why would she resort to this? We agreed to part ways months ago!" He seems to have forgotten Taylor and I are in the room
" I am going to kill her." This one comment sends shockwaves through my battered body, he is deadly serious. If anything happens to Christian because of that woman I would never forgive myself. She would have won regardless if her attentions weren't successful. My life without Christian doesn't bear thinking about. I see the determination surge through his muscular body and he heads straight for the door on a mission. A murderous mission. It takes all of Taylor's immense strength to hold him back. I cry out for Christian to stop but pain prevents me from putting any power behind it
" Fucking let me go Taylor" Christian shouts in a rage
" I can't let you do this Christian" It's always strange when Taylor refers to Christian by his first name. " Elena will get what's coming to her"
" I don't give a shit. I will find that bitch and make her pay"
" You ending up in prison for the rest of your life won't solve the situation and that is what will happen if i let go. People rely on you Mr Grey" Taylor looks pointedly at me. As if a ton of bricks suddenly hits, Christian remembers that I am sitting on the bed watching this show play out. He looks at me and his eyes soften. I see his dilemma play out in front of me
" Search high and low for her and don't stop until she has been found. Do not let her out of your sight when you do. I want the names of the other pricks as well" Christian barks and Taylor goes off to follow his bosses requests. Once Taylor vacates the room, Christian slams his fists into the wall making me jump and a huge fist shape hole appears. An anguished scream erupts from deep within his soul and it breaks my heart, I cover my mouth in an effort to hold in the sob.
The enormity of the information we have just received begins to set in. This woman I have never met organised my murder and the possible deaths of many others in that bar. What in the world would drive someone to these lengths? there is something connecting Elena and Christian, something strong enough to drive a person to mastermind such an inhumane act. Our relationship has past by at lightening speed and we really haven't had the time to discuss each others backgrounds. It is then when it dawns on me; before the shooting Christian agreed to tell me whatever it was he was keeping from me, with all the drama and my lingering head injury it had slipped my mind. This attack was callous and steeped in jealously, Elena wanted to hurt Christian badly.
Is my love for Christian enough to put my own life at risk? I am caught up in issues way bigger and more dangerous than I could ever imagine.
Christian is standing by the wall resting his forehead upon it. His back to me, the hard muscles rippling with tension.
" Don't do anything stupid" my voice is timid. His head snaps around
" Stupid! Ana she nearly killed you and its all because of me." Through all this anger i see the guilt eating him up inside
" Tell me why. Before the shooting you promised to let me in, now is that time Christian." I hear rather than see the large gulp. It takes him a few minutes but his admission knocks me for six
" Elena and I had a... relationship, if you could call it that" My mouth drops open
" When?"
" I was young"
" How young?" He avoids eye contact
" 15" A gasp escapes my lips
" Oh my god Christian" She abused him. Why hasn't this woman been locked up before?
" Ana it's not what you think. She helped me"
" How the fuck did she help you?"
" She taught me control and a way to channel my anger. You want to know why I am the way I am? it is because of what she introduced me to. I was out of control as a teenager, dead set on ruining my life and inflicting nothing but anguish on my parents. I was part of this immaculate family which was full of love that I don't deserve. My whore of a mother didn't give two shits about me and I was falling into the abyss. Elena took me away from all the shit, she carried some of my burdens. My scars are a constant reminder everyday of that life the Grey's rescued me from and until you Ana I couldn't tolerate touch. That has been one of the most surprising aspects to emerge from our short relationship. I crave your touch and for a while there I thought I had lost it. If you had died Ana, a piece of me would have died alongside you.
My poor troubled boy. Fifty Shades of fucked up but I love him so.
" When did you and Elena finish?" I feel the distain of the words as they leave my mouth
" It properly finished about 2 months before I met you" Shock. Anger. Disgust. Confusion. Hate . Yes those are my emotions right now and by the looks of Christian's ashamed expression all of these are being displayed across my face. A part of me, the hopelessly in love with this man part, desperately wished he had told me they had ended this illicit affair years ago, the infatuation that clearly exists between the pair would be extinct and everyone had moved on. This is not the case. A mere 2 months ago my boyfriend was fucking this monster, it's not nearly enough time to have washed away feelings which have been culminating for such a long time. Christian is a 27 year old man for fuck sake, this has been going on for over 10 years.
" What do you mean by completely?" I snarl. I am just a rebound for him?
" We broke up officially when I was 22. Since then we have had sex sporadically" My stomach feels like its received another 3 bullets.
" This is the reason I am lying here with my stomach tarnished forever. This is woman is pining for your dick."
" She can pine all she likes. It's yours" This isn't a flirty, sexual statement. He means it wholeheartedly but there is something not right, he isn't telling me the whole truth.
" What else?"
" What do you mean?"
" Don't bullshit me Christian. How did she teach you control?" His mouth sets in a hard firm line. His clenched fist firmly stuck on the sheets
" I am not going to unveil that here"
" The fuck you aren't!" I shout, immediately regretting raising my voice as pain flashes through me and my face contorts
" Okay Okay Ana just calm down. " He waits until the pain subsides" Remember when I tied you up the the last time we had sex and spanked you" I nod, unsure of where this is heading " well to put it lightly that was me going easy. Elena and I participate in a different sexual lifestyle to most." Realisation dawns.
" I was a dominant Ana" Was? I am speechless" Say something" his voice is hoarse. Words continue to fail me.
" Do you expect me to do that?"
" No. No. No. Baby what we have satisfies me more than I can possible express. I'm not going to sit here, lie and tell you those urges have disappeared because they haven't. We have experimented before and you enjoyed it baby" He is right when he tied me up and spanked me I was so aroused. I can't actually remember a time when I had been that wet.
" A little spanking and a loose knot is not that same as a full on BDSM scene and you know it. I can't do that Christian. Whips, belts, canes all terrify me"
" I understand that baby. I would never use anything that you aren't comfortable with."
" You want me to be a submissive?"
" No" he defiantly exclaims " In the past my submissive's have had to abide by a strict set of rules, again which exercise my need for control. I love that you challenge me, I am over the moon that you let yourself go completely when we have sex. It is a pleasure to watch you with no inhibitions. " I blush. It's not that I am prudish when it comes to discussing sex it's just I have never given the way I act during much thought. I suppose I do lose myself in the moment.
" How many submissive's have you had?"
" 12"
" 12! "I choke. " What do you look for in a submissive?"
"Please don't do this!"
" Answer the fucking question Christian"
He sighs audibly " At first I was looking for someone like Elena. Blonde hair and so on and then about 4 years ago i contracted a Brunette and something inside clicked. Flynn and I have discussed it and length and he has come up with some interesting theories on the matter"
" Flynn knows about this?!"
" Yes"
" I feel like a fool. We have been so wrapped up in each other..." Christian cuts me off
" That's a good thing baby. It's demonstrates our connection"
" But 12 submissive's Christian!"
" I know Ana."
" The puzzle is finally piecing together. Elena had nothing to worry about with these other women, they were your play-things and were definitely not a threat to her, a means to get your sexual gratification. But our relationship is unlike anything she has had to deal with. As much as I love you Christian, is risking my life worth it? Elena can clearly attend to your needs"
" Ana. I don't want her" Panic seizes him and he cups my face, wiping away tears I hadn't realised I'd shed " what I felt for the bitch wasn't even in the same realm as how i feel about you. Baby you are the one for me. The only person I have ever loved, ever let touch me, ever saw a future with. She may have given me control but you can give me a life" The sincerity glows from his grey orbs
" I want to believe you Christian but this is a lot to handle."
"Baby do you love me?"
" Of course I do but love isn't always enough"
" At the moment it is working for us. Anastasia a few days ago I was facing a life without you and I was destroyed but by some miracle you survived and I get the opportunity to shower you with my love and devotion. I will take you anyway I get can you. Ana I am a desperate man for you." His words go some way to quelling my doubts
" Christian I'm not going to give up on us but allow me some time."
" I promise. Just don't run" I nod and he seems to relax. Shifting on the bed to make room beside me, he gladly accepts my silent gesture" I am surprise at how well you have taken all of this"
" Honestly that makes two of us. Don't get me wrong I am very apprehensive about of all of it Christian and the Elena thing disturbs and terrifies me. What are you going to do about her?"
" Ana if you only knew what is going on in my head you would run for the hills. Elena is finished. She tried to take the most precious thing away from me so I am going to destroy her world"
"Please let the police handle this." Christian doesn't answer instead he pulls me carefully into his side, lifts my chin and lowers his lips to mine
" You beguile me. Baby you are so strong and brave."
" Be gentle with me" I whisper my plea
" In everything" Christian replies and once again I am lost in his kiss.
This morning I am leaving the hospital and it has been chaotic so far. Christian and Taylor have spent most of the time discussing and devising an exit strategy to rival the FBI. Mia dropped by briefly to deliver some clothes, that girl certainly knows her fashion and I was particularly grateful to have a female around. The absence of Kate rears its ugly head at times like this. Mia didn't display any hostility towards me which I found extremely surprising. Grace came in with the release papers and to give me one last check up.
In about 20 minutes I am due to leave and I find myself alone in the room for the first time since I awoke. I spend the time assembling something resembling confidence and calming the erratic nerves stirring inside. It was no use. The terror of leaving my sanctuary is gripped me tight especially in light of all the revaluations revealed in the early hours
Christian comes bounding through the door, excited about finally getting me home. This is soon evaporates when his eyes find me weeping on the bed
" Baby what's wrong?" His face etched with concern
" I can't do this Christian! Please don't make me do this!"
" Do what baby?"
" Leave here. This room. I know as soon as my foot takes a step out of the hospital they will come" Christian bundles me in his arms as best as he can without hurting me and kisses my hair
" Nobody is getting anywhere near you. I promise."
" You can't control this Christian. These people didn't finish the job they set out to achieve. I am a walking target!"
" Is this what you needed to talk to Flynn about?" I give him a slight nod. All of those concerns I voiced to Flynn last night are coming back with a vengeance. I had somehow managed to quell them somewhat last night as i toss and turned. I pondered Flynn's words for a long time, dissecting and over analysing them but now I am faced with the reality and its a whole different ball game.
"Ana we will do this at your own pace. We have all the time in the world and I will be with you every step of the way."
" Talk me through what's going to happen" Maybe if I know all the details it will put my mind at rest a little
" Sure baby. Well as hospital policy dictates you will be transported out of here in a wheelchair but as you can't walk properly yet that is really a moot point. Sawyer will be shadowing us the whole way and security have swept the route and made sure its clear of any lurking paparazzi or other potential threats" I know he is referencing Elena and her mob "I will take you to a secure back exit where Taylor and Ryan are waiting with the SUV. It's then a matter of driving to Escala. Taylor will be with us, Ryan and Sawyer again shadowing us in two cars" Wow this sounds like an operation fit for the president! " I take your safety deadly serious Ana. Trust me no matter what it costs I will do everything in my power to protect you." He seems to have mellowed a tad since last night but you can see the simmering volcano fit burst within. Blowing out a deep breath I swing my legs off of the hospital bed
" Place the wheelchair outside the door please"
Christian is completely befuddled by my request " What for Ana?"
" I need to walk out of this room." Being wheeled out isn't facing the problem head on, by walking I am in absolute control. This is the first steps, literally, in beating Elena
Rather reluctantly Christian places the chair where I asked and then steadies me by holding onto my waist as i stand. The time when I can support myself physically cannot come soon enough.
" If at any point this becomes too painful you have to tell me and I will carry you. Understand?" I nod and tentatively take my first step. I am doing remarkable well up until I reach the door, I clench the doorframe in terror. From this vantage point I am confronted with a crowd of people. Groups upon groups of people, any one of them could at some point rush at me or gun me down. My breathing becomes erratic and the shooting pains coming from my stomach are gaining in strength. Christian is whispering words of encouragement into my ear. I swivel my head to look at him
"You can do this baby" He mouths at me and places a tender kiss on my forehead
Elena will not win. Elena will not win. Christian will protect me
I close my eyes and shut the world out. Concentrating on the feel of Christian's hands on my body. I begin my journey once again by opening my eyes and focusing on the wheelchair. With a few more painful steps I reach my goal and Christian eases me into it. He bends down so he is aligned with my face
" I am so proud of you baby. We are going to beat this"
And for the first time since I woke up I feel hope ignite within me.
A/N You have no idea how I pleased I am to finally finish this. Review and tell me what you think!