A/N: Decided to be nice and post the next chapter before I leave. Don't know how much will get written this coming week, but after I'll have a week of work recuperating from an operation, so should get plenty of writing done then.
Warnings: Suicide attempt and lots of angst.
-MWM-
"Sam, are you sure about this? Maybe it should just be you visiting him…" Jess trailed off. She'd been bugging Sam to introduce her to his brother for the past three years, wanting to know more about the man who had done so much for his family.
However, Sam had been unable to reach Dean for the last four weeks, so had decided that the pair of them should drive all the way down to physically check on him. Jess wasn't sure that Dean would want to meet her like this, but Sam had insisted.
"It'll be fine, we just–" Sam halted as they both heard it. Smashing glass, and screaming. Sam started running, recognising the voice as Dean, suddenly fearing for his brother. Jess was running behind him, not knowing but willing to follow him.
"Dean!" Sam shouted, banging on the apartment door. "Dean, open up!"
It was quite behind the door now, and somehow that just made Sam feel worse.
"Dean, it's Sammy! Open the door!"
Nothing. Sam fumbled with his keys, trying to find the right one, before remembering that the key for this apartment was on his other keychain. Growling, he threw himself at the door, needing to get to his brother.
After a few hits, the door gave way, and Sam was met with an image taken straight from his nightmares.
The apartment was a mess, broken bottles against the walls, broken and overturned furniture all over the room. Curled up against the opposite wall was Dean, naked and covered in cuts and bruises, slowly bleeding from gashes in his wrists.
"Dean!" Sam was by his side in seconds, ignoring the glass as he tried to stop the flow. "Jess, call–"
"I need an ambulance, and police. My friend's cut his wrists, his apartment's been trashed." Sam shot Jess a grateful look, she was already calling for help, allowing him to focus on Dean.
"Dean, please, look at me," he pleaded, but Dean's vacant stare wasn't connecting. He let out a sob, not knowing what to do or how to help. "Please don't die," he whispered. "You can't leave, please. I'm sorry."
-MWM-
Sam hated hospitals.
He'd avoided them after his dad died, and now he was sitting next to Dean's bed, waiting for him to wake up. The cops had already interviewed him and Jess, confirming that there had been a fight. It had taken hours for the doctors to get all of the glass shards out of Dean's skin, stitching up several bad cuts. They had done a further check, and Sam was slightly relieved to know that although he was heavily bruised in places, Dean didn't appear to have been sexually assaulted. It had been at the front of his mind, finding him naked and broken like that.
Jess had been a saint, sitting next to him without crowding him, dealing with the doctors and their technical terminology, and shooing people away as soon as Sam started to get upset again. He reached out and held her hand, fingers brushing against the engagement ring on her finger. She was perfect, and he couldn't do this without her.
Dean had been back from surgery only a few minutes when Crowley showed up, intimidating the doctors into giving Dean the best room and treatment possible. Sam was fairly sure he'd never forget the way Jess had stood up to Crowley, keeping him out of the room until Sam recognised who it was.
"Sammy," Crowley nodded. "Perfect timing in getting back."
"Coincidence," Sam muttered, not taking his eyes from his brother. "Dean hasn't returned my calls in weeks, I wanted him to meet Jess so we drove down for a visit."
"You're Jess, I take it?" Crowley turned to the woman who'd stood up to him, and she nodded, eyes still suspicious. "Charmed, I'm sure." He then looked back at Dean, who was heavily sedated and fast asleep. "Since you haven't spoken to him, I'll wager you don't have any idea what set him off either."
"Not a clue," Sam shrugged. "If I'd come down sooner…"
"Sam, stop," Jess interrupted then. "Maybe you could have done something, maybe he just would have tried after you'd gone. Focus on what's happening now."
"I like her," Crowley smiled a little. "When's the wedding?"
"How did you–"
"He knows everything that happens in mine and Dean's lives," Sam sighed. Then he lifted his head and looked at Crowley. "Do you know why he tried this?"
"Not really," Crowley admitted as he took a seat. "About three weeks ago, he stopped talking to everyone. Crawled inside a bottle and refused to come out except to work. I was about to insist he go see a shrink, now I'm not letting him come back to work until he does. Idiotic little shit that he is."
Sam could hear the worry and affection in Crowley's words, and didn't take issue with him.
-MWM-
It had been four days, and Dean still wasn't responding. He was awake, but seemed unable to reconnect with the world. He sometimes twitched when Sam was near, his eyes sometimes swam into focus, but that was it.
Sam was about ready to pull his hair out. He wanted his big brother back.
"Sammy?"
Sam turned at the voice, confused, then his eyes widened. Standing in the doorway were two figures straight out of their past – Castiel and Gabriel.
"Guys…" Sam was across the room in seconds, pulling both of them into a hug. "My god, how did you… where have you… I don't…"
"Mmmmph mmm hmm," Gabriel exaggeratedly mumbled from where he was being crushed in Sam's giant arms. Sam gave a final squeeze before letting them both go, looking from one to the other in shock.
"Air! How wonderful to breathe again," Gabriel was taking deep breaths in an attempt to hide how anxious he was. Even if Dean was unresponsive and tied down, he was still a wary about being in the same room.
"Sammy," Castiel looked up at the younger man. "I think you doubled in height."
"Yeah," Sam grinned a little, still blind-sided from seeing them again. "How did you guys know we were here? We haven't seen you in, what… ten years?"
Gabriel and Castiel looked at each other briefly. So Dean hadn't told Sam anything about them.
"Uh, Sammy…" Gabriel paused, then decided to keep going. "When's the last time you and Dean had a long conversation?"
"A few weeks ago," Sam shrugged, looking down guiltily. "We haven't been close for a couple of years now. It's kinda difficult studying and keeping up with Dean, especially since he works… nights." The brothers could tell that Sam had been going to say something else, but had thought better of it.
"I met up with Dean about three weeks ago," Gabriel decided to fill him in. "While he was working. We… we fought. He was angry, and did something stupid, that really hurt me."
"You know about his job?" Sam winced, and Gabriel nodded. Sam sighed, the guilt coming back full force. "He… he started out cleaning there when we first got here. Then he became a bouncer. When I got accepted to Stanford… he took out a loan from his boss to pay the fees, and became a prostitute to pay it off."
"Ouch," Gabriel frowned in sympathy. So that was how Dean had gone downhill.
"Yeah. He was doing okay though, until… I think until he saw you," Sam was putting the dates together in his head, slightly confused. "I guess everything must have caught up with him, seeing someone from our past. And yeah, he never really got over you guys not being there when Dad died."
"But you did?" Castiel joined the conversation then. He'd been watching Dean, who looked like he was still asleep.
"I was pretty young," Sam shrugged. "And I wasn't as close to either of you. I had Dean to take care of me. It hurt when he said that you guys weren't talking to him, but I got over it."
"Good to know," Castiel nodded. It made sense, though it still hurt a little – if Dean had reacted to their reappearance the way Sam did, this all would have been much different.
For one, Cas would probably have to choose between his current lover and his first boyfriend.
"So if Dean was a dick to you," Sam looked at Gabriel, "how'd you know he was here?"
"We didn't," Gabriel looked uncomfortable. "But a few days ago, Cas came down to have it out with him over what Dean had said to me. Apparently they got in an actual fight that ended with some broken furniture and Cas walking out again."
"How many days ago?" Sam's eyes were wide, and Castiel winced. He'd already put the pieces together.
"Four days," Cas said softly. "He must have decided to kill himself shortly after I left."
Sam backed away and sat down heavily. This was too much to wrap his brain around. There was more to both sides of the story, he was sure, but for now the basics were doing his head in.
"We came back today to try sorting it out," Gabriel continued. "I couldn't leave things as they were between us. Figured that he'd had some time to calm down, maybe we could talk. But when we got to the apartment…"
"One of his neighbours said that he was in hospital," Castiel took over. "Said that there'd been a break-in and he'd been assaulted, then tried to kill himself. Guess that wasn't entirely correct, I might have assaulted him but I didn't break in."
"It looked like the truth," Sam whispered. "I found him. He was lying naked on the floor, surrounded by broken glass… he'd used a shard to slit his wrists… the room was a mess."
Castiel winced, guilt flooding through him. Gabriel saw the look on his face and moved behind him, gently scratching at Castiel's hairline with his fingers in a soothing gesture.
Sam watched the two brothers interacting. Something wasn't right, he just couldn't put his finger on it. Then one part of it fell into place – Gabriel was refusing to look at Dean, and Cas was staying between the two at all times, as though protecting Gabriel. It didn't make sense, but then nothing about the entire situation made sense.
The three men were silent for a while after that, the situation robbing them all of any outside thoughts.