Hi everyone! I am so, so sorry for not updating in forever! I know you all probably hate me and you have every right. There's nothing else I can really say except that I'm really sorry and I'm going to try a lot harder to stay up to date with updating this story. I just haven't really had time to write and the inspiration. Needless to say it's been a struggle to come up with this chapter. I hope you all enjoy and can't wait to get your opinion! Thanks again to everyone who reads, you guys are great. And everyone who reviews, you all awesome and the best.
Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or it's characters…if I did the show wouldn't be ending this season!
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Spied asks walking back stage. Ignoring the stage crew working around them.
"It doesn't matter what I want." Jude says fiddling with her hands.
"Jude." Speid says resting his hand over hers, stopping her fiddling. "Say the word and we're gone."
Shrugging his hands off hers she stares straight in his eyes, expecting to see sarcasm, but is surprised with the sincerity staring back at him. Jude sighs and looks down at their feet. "I can't keep running Spied, sooner or later I have to grow up."
Shrugging his shoulders, Spied picks up his guitar. "I know, but admit the idea has it's perks." With and encouraging smile he walks to set up with Wally and Kyle.
Staring after him, Jude mentally kicks herself. Why couldn't she have loved him. Not only was Spied fun and loving, but he was also available, both emotionally and physically.
"I know that look."
Turning around Jude sees Kwest standing in the door way with his arms crossed over his chest. "What look?" Jude asks clearing her throat and clasping her hands in front of her.
"That 'why can't it be him?' look." When Jude just looks at him confused, Kwest elaborates. "You're asking yourself why couldn't it have been Spiederman."
"How do you know?" Jude asks crossing her arms over her chest, not even bothering to deny what he said.
"I dealt with that same look for over a year." Kwest says before stopping one of the stage crew to ask them some questions about the prep for the performance. Looking back at Jude, Kwest walks towards her to keep their conversation more private. "From the moment he met you Tommy had that look on his face. I'm going to tell you the same thing
I told him when he asked me what to do…"
"Jude it's almost time." Sadie says walking backstage, interrupting whatever Kwest was about to say. Sighing Jude grabs her water bottle before turning to follow Sadie. "You don't have to do this you know." Sadie says resting a hand on her shoulder, stopping her from continuing onto the stage.
Looking over her shoulder Jude shrugs off Sadie's hand. "Yea I do." Looking forward she takes a deep, calming breath. "It's time to stop running." Looking back at Kwest, Jude nods her head before continuing on to the stage.
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Taking a mini break for water Jude picks up her water bottle and takes a long sip before setting it down on the floor. They had started the set with 24 Hours, Kwest thought stating with the an older song first and going from there would be a good transition since they were finishing the set with a song from her third album. When looking over songs from her second album Jude had wanted to keep everything upbeat, which automatically nixed White Lines and There's Us. She had decided on My Sweet Time, since it was the second most popular song from the album. "How is everyone?" Jude asks the crowd, which consists of reporters and members of Jude's fan club. "Now this last song I'm doing is actually from my third album. Something that only my manager and producer have heard. But since this is a special concert I think it deserves a brand new song that's never been heard before." When her fans start to cheer Jude smiles before turning back to Spied. "You guys know what to do right?" Jude asks. They had gotten the music yesterday and hadn't had a lot of time to practice.
"We got your back." Spied says pressing a few buttons on the amp.
Smiling, Jude turns back to the crowd and waits for the beat to pick up.
i never promised you a ray of light why do you put me on a pedestal? one thing is clear
i never promised there'd be sunshine everyday
i'll give you everything i have
the good, the bad
im so up high that i cant see the ground below
so help me down, you've got it wrong
i don't belong there
i wear a halo, i wear a halo when you look at me
but standing from here
you wouldn't say so,
you wouldn't say so if you were me
She had never been perfect and people used to treat her accordingly, but that was before Instant Star and all the fame. After the contest she had been made infallible by the press, her manager, her family, and most importantly Tommy.
i always said that i would make mistakes one thing is clear like you think that you know me i wear a, i wear a
im only human and thats my saving grace
i'll fall as hard as i try
so dont be blinded
see me as i really am
i have flaws and sometimes i even say
so pull me from that pedestal
i dont belong there
i wear a halo,
i wear a halo when you look at me
but standing from here,
you wouldnt say so,
you wouldnt say so if you were me
but in your eyes
i am something worthy
only in your mind
only in your mind
i wear a halo
Maybe now they wouldn't look at her as being perfect. Maybe now she would be able to make mistakes.
one thing is clear
i wear a halo
i wear a halo when you look at me
but standing from here, you wouldnt say so
you wouldnt say so if you were me
Taking a deep breath Jude looks behind her at SME and notices how quiet they are. After the press had released the pictures all they guys had said was next time she parties hard they wanted to go with. That was why she loved them, they hadn't judged her and even given her a hard time about it. They accepted what she did and moved on. Turning for one final look at the press and her fans, Jude walks backstage where Darius and Portia were waiting with Sadie and Kwest.
"Jude we have a few moments as the stage crew set up for the press conference." Portia says looking down at the clipboard. "Here are some key points that we came up with in PR." Handing the clipboard to Jude, Portia turns to Darius. "Just some things that Jude or you should say to the press…"
"I don't need this." Jude says handing the clipboard back to a confused Portia. "I was there, it's my body in the pictures." Looking straight at Darius, Jude doesn't break eye contact. "I know what I want to say and key points are not it."
"This is your show." Darius simply says shrugging his shoulders.
"Darius! This is serious." Portia says.
"I'm not doing it Portia." Jude says annoyed that Portia wouldn't listen to her, or even bother acknowledging what she had said.
Nodding her head in anger Portia looks at Darius for his support. When he says nothing she sighs in frustration and drops the clipboard. "Fine! But don't blame me when this gets out of control." Walking to the stage to check on the stage crew Portia huffs with every step.
"Jude it wouldn't be stupid to bring this with you. It might come in handy with the press." Sadie says picking up the clipboard.
"Besides it will put Portia in a better mood." Kwest says smirking at Jude.
Looking at his watch Darius sighs. "It's show time." He says turning to look at Jude. "Any question you're uncomfortable with just say no comment and move on. If the reporter doesn't accept no comment we will have them removed. The ball is in your court, whenever you're ready to be done…"
"I get it Darius." Jude says smiling. "This is all on me."
"Just don't want you to feel pressured." Darius says walking with Jude towards the stage. "You've been known to do some crazy things when being pressured." He says before taking a seat at one end of the table. Jude sitting at the other.
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After getting everything taken care of with Meredith, Tommy was on the first flight out of Ryder. He wasn't able to land in Toronto until 6 the next morning due to bad weather. Once landed he went to his apartment to shower, change clothes, and call G-Major. Talking to one of the new interns who wouldn't recognize his voice, Tommy found out about the press conference and performance Jude was making at 9. Deciding it would be better to wait until after the press conference to talk to Jude, Tommy had to come up with something to do with the next couple of hours. Something that didn't include hunting down the bastard that had done this to Jude.I hope you all liked the chapter and I would just like to say again how sorry I am for not updating in forever! You guys deserve better. Thanks for everyone who is still reading, I hope you weren't too disappointed. And everyone who reviews…you guys rock! And this chapter is in credit to you. Thanks and I'm so sorry!