Give Your Heart A Break
Cat's p o v
My phone vibrated while I was in class carefully pulling it out while my math teacher went on and on about fractions being the sum of life. I smiled it was an email.
Dear Cat thank you so much for writing to me I am always happy
To help first of all don't stress it's easier to lose when you have a game plan
Just grab a marker washable and stand naked in someplace private in front of a mirror
Target the areas you need to work on circle them with the marker take pictures of each spot
Upload them here describe why you feel you need work we will be happy to help you map out a plan
To help you work on these trouble spots no one is mean here we all are here to encourage and support each other.
Second don't get lazy it's easy in today's life style to lack motivation but exercise is easy to do when you have the right goal even simple things you would never think about.
Stand as much as possible as it burns 40 more calories an hour than sitting.
Always take the stairs when you have the option.
Jiggle your legs around if you absolutely have to sit down.
Walk on the spot whenever you're on your computer/laptop. I'm doing it now!
Always take showers, never baths.
When in the shower, keep moving. Walk on the spot, wash your hair, dance, etc.
Walk/cycle/ rollerblade to places whenever you can. It beats taking the car!
Wear ankle weights under your clothes at all the times.
Carry extra, unneeded things in your bag to make it heavier. Books are great for this.
Cook/bake for your family as you'll burn calories doing so.
Do crunches while watching TV, and other exercises during the ads.
Go shopping! You'll burn calories without realizing.
Walk up and down the stairs for no particular reason. Except to burn calories...
Play an instrument. You'll get better at it and burn calories at the same time.
Do things with your hands. Write, type, brush your hair, read, etc.
Masturbate! After all, it does burn calories.
Sit up straight as it burns 10% more calories than slouching.
Chew sugar free gum; it burns about 10 cals an hour.
Suck in your stomach at all times. Plus, it'll help get you that flat stomach everyone wants.
Third grab a journal and instead of eating away your feelings write them down here it does wonders.
Why didn't I think of that it was perfect! I sent her a thank you message and turned back to class feeling encouraged and happy as I lifted my legs up and down slowly one at a time burn as much calories as you can Cat that's all I could think about.
"HigherCatrina No! No! No! You are not listening!
I said Higher! Stop!
Mrs. Z was clapping as she screamed and ranted I stopped posing into fifth position breathing in deep sweat pouring down my body but I was still freezing what gives with that?
Catrina are you even listening? Sloppy Sloppy you can't even hold correct pile
Arch your back eyes straight ahead we do not slouch in ballet young lady!
She was in my face now tiny spits flew out landing on my eye lids her breath smelled like moldy wash cloths I fought the urge to gag.
Suddenly she snapped my back up pain radiated through out it but I held strong than she yanked my chin up my neck burned as she hit my stomach I heard the bounce of her hand against my blubber and felt sick.
A Beautiful dancer is long and lean thin and small
You must dance as if you are walking on air nothing should be lighter than your feet on the clouds your legs twirling in the air..
Now listen to me!
Hour after hour we went over and over the routine I was dizzy and sweating so bad I felt like I would drop but I never quit. I pushed myself and pushed my self till my toes bleed my legs burned my back ached and my brain went numb.
It was dark by the time I got out but I didn't care I went for a long run I had to burn those calories Mrs. Z was right the lighter the dancer the smoother the dance.
The air was cold but it felt great against my sweaty body my feet pounded the pavement I wouldn't stop! I couldn't!
To be the best you must strive through the drive
No sacrifice is too great your fat move it Catrina!
Use this as fuel for your song Mr. Anthony always says the most beautiful songs come from the deepest pain.
Does anyone care about the pain I struggle through?
Does anyone see through my lies?
Can anyone hear me cry?
Run Run Run the voices in my head calling to me
Dancing With Ana she's my silent partner
Laughter tears heartache pain triumph and joy she shares it all with me
Silently killing me does anyone even care I am here
My chest pounded my body burned I refused to quit I had to keep going mile after mile after mile. Maybe if I just ran hard enough long enough my stomach would run away I could melt the pounds away.
"Where were you Cat!
Sam threw open the door I was just coming up the sidewalk jogging in place doing jumping jacks I have to do 250 every night. Sam's interrupting me pissed me off if I messed up I would have to restart and I was so tired. Breathing deep I tried to keep count but Sam was in my face as six screaming kids ran wildly through the apartment.
Cat you were suppose to be home hours ago! We took on extra kids! Did you forget again?
Sam's face was beat red she was breathing heavy her hair was a mess covered in pasta the coffee table was flipped over the place was trashed.
I stared blankly at her as I kept jumping some kid cried Sam whipped her head back and screamed at him to shut his pussy butt up or she'd shut him up.
I'm sorry but dance is really demanding this year I was there so late rehearsing we have to stay late Sam it's apart of being a student at a prestigious school like Hollywood Arts.
It's part of the commitment we make as students as professionals
What about the commitment you made to me?
Or did you forget about that?
Leave me alone Sam!
She went to grab me but I slipped past her running into the bathroom locking the door and continued my jogging and jumping for another hour before reliving myself than slipping naked and stepping onto the scale.
82
The number glared back at me laughing at me mocking me.
Standing in front of the mirror I stood watching myself grabbing the marker starting to do what she said it started on my sides went over my stomach down my thighs legs hips...till my whole body was covered and I was glowing in bright red.
Ugly
Using my cell I snapped pictures from every angel I would lose this ugly fat if it killed me.
300 push ups...600 stomach crunches... by the time I was done I had such bad stomach cramps I barely made it to the toilet before I vomited.
Wash my mouth out and use the shower rod as beam to do some pull-ups ..530..
Sam was asleep when I came out seeing the room so messy gave me a headache I worked all night to clean it up vacuuming all over not one spot of dirt could be missed.
It was like a demon was chasing me I wouldn't stop till everything was in it's place polished dusted and shiny.
I couldn't shake it the thought of going to bed and laying there while the dirt grim and swamp like conditions lay feet away from me was enough to make me feel like I was drowning and choking I had to clean I didn't want to but it was like someone was choking all the will to say NO out of me. He had me by the throat.
It was a living hell.