Chapter 21
Author's Note: Back from my Xmas/New Year break! Hope I still have some keen readers left =)
The darkness hit Loki like a tonne of bricks. His breath caught in his throat as his calm exterior was stripped from him with such ease, the darkness laughing at him, tugging at his soul, tearing at his wounds while he screamed silently back in agony.
The Darkness.
It was always what he had most feared.
For the darkness contained everything.
In the darkness was himself.
And in the darkness was everything that hated.
And everything that hurt.
In the darkness there was no comfort, no forgiveness, no rules, no understanding.
Here there was both silence and deafening noise, both freezing cold and scorching heat.
Unbearable misery, overwhelming joy, suffocating rage.
There was temptation twisting through his mind and recklessness pouring through his veins.
In the darkness, there was Loki and his imagination.
And in the darkness, there were no rules, no boundaries, no morals.
In the darkness he was free and that was what he feared the most. Because he is so very broken and the things that his mind conjures in such darkness are so very far from okay and there is nothing he can do but hide from them behind the small light that his magic provides.
He recalls distantly a memory of sitting in his mother's lap, hearing the childish fairy tales she wove for his ears, the messages they held, the morals. He had been taught right and wrong. But his mind had always pushed, tested, asking him silently what if…?
Even back then, his dreams were wrong, he was plagued by nightmares of horrendous things that left him feeling… good. And that frightened him more than he could have ever have imagined. That determined his personality and how he would be treated in Asgard for the rest of his life.
For he had known, even then, that he was wrong.