Thanks to CosmicGunslinger for editing.
Lara jogged along the road, embracing the tightness in her chest and the burn in her muscles. She had attracted the attention of two biters who were shambling just behind her. They had followed her, growling and screeching as she just kept ahead of them.
There was a car up ahead which had crashed into a tree. Its front bonnet was crumpled like a can, but the back was fine.
Lara sprinted ahead of the biters and slipped into the back seat. She slammed the door shut and the biters started scratching at the windows.
Lara took her large backpack off and put it on the floor. The driver had long turned and was pinned against the seat and the front. As she watched, he twisted around and tried to reach her with half an arm.
There was a bag next to him, flung onto the dashboard. Lara took out her knife and plunged the metal into its skull. She let the head drop, knife and all, and reached around it to grab the bag.
The biters outside were still banging on the window. Lara opened the bag, which was stained with dry blood, and looked inside. There was a bag of crushed chips, a Pride and Prejudice book, and an army canteen half full of liquid.
Lara opened the canteen and sniffed the contents. It wasn't water, but instead the strong fumes of alcohol wafted into her nose.
Whiskey. Perfect.
Lara dropped the bag and moved to the other side of the car, putting her feet up on the seats. She took a swig of whiskey and coughed at the hot track it made down her throat. Even so, she took another sip, craving the sweet numbness that she had heard people talk about so much.
The biters were still growling and scratching outside the window, but Lara was remembering the first time she had tried whiskey.
She was ten, and her parents were out at a conference. She was stuck with two men, watching football in a dingy bar.
Lara tugged on the cargos of one of the men, curious about the drink he was holding.
"Haha okay! But don't tell your daddy, alright?"
Roth lifted her onto his lap and handed her his glass of bronze liquid…
Lara shook her head and snapped out of the past.
She ran a hand over her face and took a deep draught from the bottle until she was coughing from the burning in her throat.
I need you to promise me you'll stay strong, Lara.
Lara sniffed and stared past the biters, her hand going to the pendant at her throat. She couldn't think about that. The promise she had madeShe made a promise.
But she found herself thinking anyways. Thinking of Roth, of Reyes, of Alisha - his daughter…
She had killed him.
Lara might as well have shot him herself. He had died for her, protecting her from Mathias.
If only she hadn't been so stupid.
If only she had controlled herself - wasn't such an impulsive killer.
Then maybe Roth would be alive.
Maybe she wouldn't be alone.
She felt tears spring into her eyes again. Before her tongue could protest she drank from the canteen. It burnt, and it didn't taste nice, but it made her forget about the well of sadness inside of her.
Lara took a deep breath and closed her eyes, leaning back against the door. She wished that Sam was here, maybe holding her in a hug or stroking her hair.
She snorted. That wasn't going to happen, though. Sam thought she was insane, unstable and a murderer. She blamed her for everything that went wrong, and rightly so. But Lara thought she was different. She wanted to believe she was different. And when they almost kissed, Lara knew that she would do anything for her.
But Lara was a fool, wasn't she? Sam had played her like a fiddle. Had they even been about to kiss? Or was that part of her delusion as well?
Sam had promised. She had promised, and after Lara had allowed herself to believe her she had instantly broken that promise.
Lara could feel the prickle of tears in her eyes and she dug her nails into her palm until they went away. Why would she do that to her? Why would she lie to her like that?
She sunk down in her seat until she was lying down.
Stay strong, Lara, promise me.
She was being stupid. All this self-pity. She needed to pull herself together and find somewhere she could go. Somewhere she could start anew.
Swansea maybe. Past where Mathias would look. A place where she could forget about her sins.
Lara rubbed her eyes again and swished the canteen. Still about a quarter left, but it was already taking effect. Already her mind had started to disconnect from her body, her eyelids tugging close. She hadn't eaten since breakfast, so the effect was twice as potent.
Lara took another sip so she could ignore the biters outside and lay back. She would let herself drift, just for an hour, until she could get up again.
"Help…!"
Lara sat up and looked around. Did someone just call for help? Or was the whiskey getting to her?
"Help! Someone! Please!"
Lara looked out the back window. It was blurry, but she could see three people running down the road. The biters at her window turned and started shambling towards the new target. Lara opened the door so she could get a clearer look outside.
There was a girl with dark skin being chased by two biters.
With a start, Lara realised that was Alisha.
"Alisha!" Lara scrambled out the door, reaching for her pistol. Holy shit, she was alive! The biters were already a few metres in front of her, heading for Alisha.
As soon as Lara stood up she stumbled, falling to one knee. Her head spun and it took a lot of effort to focus and get up again. "Alisha, hold on!" She shot at the biters in front of her.
She didn't know if Alisha heard her but she darted to the side of the road and started climbing a tree.
Lara shot at the biters, her shots going off-centre too many times. She managed to kill one but the other got way too close before she managed to shoot it.
The gunfire had attracted the biters chasing Alisha. Good. If she could at least save her that might make up for the things she's done.
Click. Click.
"Fuck!" She had forgotten to reload.
Lara dropped the gun and went for her axe. She ran to the side of the nearest biter and swung at it, smashing it through the skull. The point lodged in its head and Lara wasn't able to jerk it back out. She was forced to drop it.
Her heart jumped into her throat as the last one lunged at her. Lara put her arm up to shield herself just as the biter bit her arm. Her leather jacket was thick enough that it couldn't hurt her.
She reached down to get her knife but found that it was missing from its usual place. Where was it? Where the fuck did it go?
Its teeth were tight around her arm. She tried to buck it off so she could gain some ground but it was much stronger than her.
There was a squelch and the biter went limp on top of her. Alisha pulled her knife back out and Lara leaned back, taking a ragged breath.
"Lara!" Alisha exclaimed. She helped push the biter off her. "Are you okay?!" Lara staggered to her knees and Alisha hugged her tightly.
"I'm fine," Lara said, hugging her back. "Thank you."
"Crap, I didn't think anyone was going to come," she said, letting go. "I'm so glad to see you. You saved my life. Thank you so much!"
Lara smiled and rubbed her shoulder. Alisha was alive. Reyes would be happy once she found out. "It's okay," she said, looking around. "What happened to you?"
Alisha helped her up. "Chen and I escaped to the boulders as soon as we saw Dmitri drag Mary out of her cabin. We waited there, and I thought my mom would come, but then Brent came towards us and tried to get us to go back. I didn't trust him, so when he turned his back I ran.
"I headed towards Bath, hoping I would find my mom there. But then I ran into these biters who started chasing me…and the rest you know."
Lara nodded. "I'm glad you're safe." Alisha had good instincts, like Roth. They would serve her well.
"Where are the others?" Alisha asked as Lara picked up her weapons again. "Is my mum with you?"
Lara paused. She didn't know where Reyes was and didn't know how to explain the falling out she had with the group. "Umm…"she began, "No she isn't…"
Alisha's expression fell. "She's not…she made it out right?"
"What? Yes, she did!" She said quickly. "Umm, the last time I saw her she was fine. She was looking for you."
Alisha sighed in relief and nodded. "Where is she now?"
Lara shook her head. "I don't know. We separated a few hours ago. I think she was heading towards the orchard."
She pressed her lips in a line. "Why aren't you with them, Lara? Did something happen?"
Lara looked away. "We had…a disagreement, Alisha. After that I decided to head my own way whilst your mum would keep looking for you."
"Oh." Alisha looked down at the biters on the ground. "I guess you don't want to meet up with them again then."
Lara looked at her. Alisha was giving her an out. She didn't even know what had happened between them but she was giving her an out.
She didn't want to go back; back to face Reyes' wrath, Jonah's disappointment and Sam's…Sam's condemnation. But she owed it to Alisha. She owed it to Roth, to save his daughter.
Lara bowed her head at the thought. "I'll help you find your mum," she said. She owed that much to Roth at least.
Alisha looked up at her skeptically, but there was some relief in her voice. "Are you sure?" she asked.
"It's okay, Alisha." She walked back over to the car and retrieved her bag. Her knife was still lodged in the biter's head and grabbed it, cursing herself for her carelessness. Now that adrenaline had sobered her up, she could think of a hundred ways she could have handled the situation better.
"Here, take this." She gave Alisha the driver's bag and transferred a few cans of food and a bottle of water to it so her own bag wasn't so heavy. She also pulled out a new clip for the pistol she had wasted and then two more.
Lara took out one of Roth's Remington's and looked down at it. Roth had had these since the start of the apocalypse, she remembered. They had served him well, protected him through tough battles. As much as she wanted to keep both of them, she knew that if Roth knew, he would want Alisha to have one.
"Here," she said, handing the gun to Alisha. "This was Roth's. I think he'd like you to have it."
Alisha took the gun and looked at it, confused. "Why would Roth want me to have it?" she asked slowly.
Lara stared at her. Of course she didn't know. Reyes hadn't told anyone, even her own daughter. She wondered why in the world she would do that.
Lara sighed. "I'll tell you about it on the way back."
Lara told Alisha about what happened at the resort. It was hard admitting her involvement, but Alisha deserved to know the truth, especially what happened to Roth. She told her about what she did to Alex and Vladimir, and how Roth had tried to protect her after that.
She had then told her about her parentage. Alisha was less shocked than she thought she would be.
"I thought he might be," she had said quietly. "The way mom would talk about him sometimes, I got the feeling."
She then became quiet. Lara left her alone, letting her think. It was a lot to digest for a fourteen year old. Lara was waiting for her to connect the dots, to realise that she had killed her father. She expected her to yell at her, scowl, scream about what a terrible person she was, but it never came.
It was only when they had made camp for the night that she spoke again. "I wish my mom had told me," Alisha said. "I would have liked to know Roth as my dad. We hung out, and he taught me things like how to defend myself, but we never did in a father-daughter way."
You weren't his real daughter…
Lara remained silent and looked at the ground between her feet. Roth had taught her so much and she owed her life to him. Ever since her father died, Roth had been there for her. If he hadn't been around, she wouldn't have been able to hunt, to make a fire, to cook, to shoot a gun or to survive.
But Alisha didn't have that opportunity. Lara had stolen Roth's time when she wasn't even related to him. It was wrong.
"I'm sorry," Lara murmured, her voice cracking. "You should have been able to. It's my fault. I'm so sorry."
Alisha watched her quietly. "How are you feeling Lara?"
Lara shook her head and wiped her nose. "You just lost your father. I should be asking you how you're feeling."
"Well…you were pretty much his daughter too. He loved you."
You weren't his real daughter…
Lara snorted, but it came out as a sniff. "I wasn't his real one."
"Does it matter? He loved you. And you loved him."
When Alisha put it that way - when it came out of her mouth, she realised that it didn't.
Alisha was so nice to her - Lara didn't understand it. The girl was always years more perceptive and mature beyond her biological age but still, Lara didn't deserve this.
Everyone around you dies. "You're mum blames me for his death," Lara mumbled. She looked up at her, into blue eyes that reminded her so much of her late mentor. "I don't understand why you don't."
Alisha looked down. "I am angry at you a little, Lara," she admitted quietly. "I know it wasn't your fault, but I still wish you hadn't done that - been so brash. It's not your fault that my mom didn't tell me, though.
"And besides, you lost him too. I know you're beating yourself up, but you have the right to grieve just like everyone else."
Lara closed her eyes and took a shaky breath. She rested her chin on her knees and hugged her legs. "I miss him," she whispered. "I wish he was still here."
Alisha walked around the campfire and sat next to her. She hugged her and rested her head on her shoulder. "So do I," she muttered.
Lara felt tears prickle her eyes. She didn't deserve such warmth, especially from Alisha.
Everyone in her life always seemed to die. She didn't know why it kept happening to her, but she was so tired of it. Lara was glad for this small moment with someone whose kindness she didn't deserve.
Her dad's eyes glimmered in the low light. It had been such a horrible day, but Lara felt secure in his arms.
"I need you to promise me you'll stay strong, Lara."
Lara cleared her throat and pushed Alisha away gently. "Umm, you should get some sleep," she said. "We need to wake up early tomorrow if we're to catch up with your mum."
Alisha curled up next to her and yawned. "Okay. Make sure you wake me up for my watch."
Lara didn't think she would do that. She doubted she would sleep anyways, and she felt better watching over Alisha. "Okay. Good night."