Chapter 21 – So This Is What It Feels Like

Hey everyone so I know I said that I would update under a month and I know that it has been over a month and I can do nothing but apologize, I do have a valid excuse I moved house….yep I moved house so that kinda got in the way.

Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter….if it can be called that but I do have bad news for you.

Now before you all panic no I am not stopping this story or taking a long break…..the news is that this chapter is really short too, purely because I am still struggling to get back into writing this story but as I have just said and as I have said before I will not discontinue this story, so please have no fear.

I cannot tell you when I will have the next chapter up…..all I can say is be on the look out.

This chapter has not been checked by my beta, purely because I thought that since it is so short that there really is no point in wasting his time but I will say that when I start writing the longer chapters (ones that are over a thousand words) I will be giving them to him to beta for me.

Enough said enjoy this (short) chapter : )

Previously - "Come in." The muffled voice of Phoebe sounded through the door, taking a deep breath Parker placed her hand on the door knob and turned the handle before giving it a little push letting the door swing open.

No words were spoken by the Phoenix and whitelighter after that….they didn't need to….they understood each other perfectly.

"Hi." Parker mumbled as she stepped slowly into the room before shutting the bedroom door behind her with a soft nearly inaudible click but Parker heard it and barely suppressed the desire that coursed through her to run out of the room and never look back at the sound. "Hey." Phoebe replied quietly as she sat up straight on her bed so her back was against the headboard, the firestarter right in her line of sight now. An awkward silence settled over them for a few minutes before Phoebe decided to help Parker along, "Did you want something?" The empath asked and watched as her daughter's body seemed to snap tight at her question before Parker let out a deep breath, "I…..I was…..I was wondering if we…..if we could talk?" Parker answered with a slight stutter, daring herself to look up at the older woman only to see Phoebe staring at her with barely concealed happiness. "Sure honey….do you want to sit down?" Phoebe asked after a couple of seconds hesitation and saw her daughter's eyes widen before she slowly nodded and walked forward the couple of spaces needed so she was now at the bottom of the bed before slowly almost like she was in slow motion sat down on the edge of the bed, her body twisted so she was facing Phoebe. "I just wanted to….actually I don't know…..Billie asked me to come and talk to you….but I don't know what to say." Parker said with honesty ringing in her words. "Say whatever's in your head." Phoebe replied gently as she moved ever so slightly closer towards the firestarter who didn't notice.

Parker took a deep breath before doing exactly that. "I don't know what you know about me…..know about my world and to be honest with you I don't want to know…..I…I know you're a different Phoebe to the one I know…..to the one wh…' Parker gulped she couldn't say the words, 'But I just can't change how I feel…..how I act towards you as quick as lightning…..it's not a switch that I can just flip on and off whenever I please…..I…..I don't know if I'll ever be able to change how I am towards you….how I am around you…..I guess….I guess I can just say that I…..I will try…my….my head knows that you're not my Phoebe…..but….but my…..my heart…is having…..having a hard time believing that…I….I am sorry for acting like a jerk towards you…it's…..it's just seeing you…being here with you….with all of you…..it's…..it's…hard." The last word left Parker's lips barely above a whisper, it was said with so much pain and anger that Phoebe felt her daughter's emotionless wall crack a little before a flood of boxed up emotions started to leak through. The charmed one didn't think she just reacted as soon as she felt the firestarters emotions she almost sprang forward and encased Parker tightly in her arms and was shocked and relieved when all the spiky haired witch did was melt into them and Phoebe didn't need to be a mother or an empath to know that Parker had been waiting for something like this since forever.

Slowly tears slid down from Parker's eyes, as soon as she felt Phoebe's arms wrap around her she didn't give herself time to think, she just let herself fall into them and be embraced, her head falling almost subconsciously onto Phoebe's chest. Phoebe for her part just held her daughter tightly as she started to rock her slowly from side to side, one of her hands coming up and her fingers running through Parker's hair softly making the spiky haired witch close her eyes and relax further into Phoebe's embrace as the charmed one let her head fall onto her daughter's, her nose burying itself in Parker's hair as she breathed in deeply.

Neither said anything, they knew the words would come later….they knew they had time later.

Right now all both of them wanted was to just to enjoy the quiet.

Right now all Parker wanted to do was forget about everything….even if it was just for a little while and let Phoebe hold her…something (although she would never tell anyone) she had been wanting for over eighteen years.

'So this is what being content feels like.' Was the only thought that could sound through Parker's head as the firestarters arms slowly and a little shakily snaked their way around Phoebe's body.

Said it was short didn't i….what did you think? If you would like leave us a review and let us know but if you don't….it doesn't matter I mean there isn't really much to review in this chapter is there.

So like I said I don't know when I will be posting the next chapter, just keep an eye out.

I will say that we will soon be getting to the good part and when I say the good part I mean action….action….a little mystery of course…..and more action!

Basically fighting.

Everyone loves a good fight scene or two do they not?

I do have a question for you…..who do you think the mysterious person is, I mean the master the one who is causing all of this…..i would love to know your ideas on who it is : )

Anyway until next time!