Chapter 21 – Whole again

RJ grunted as he crashed on the ground and he immediately rolled to one side, before the wolf crashed on him again.

He was fighting his animal spirit in the mind world, and while the spirit was unable to physically kill or maim him while there, its attacks still hurt, and hard as he may try, he had been unable to reason with the creature. Still, he didn't want to fight it or to be violent against it, but the wolf didn't seem to share that initiative.

"Please, just let me-" The wolf launched at him again, making him jump over it and interrupting him mid-sentence. "I'm trying to apologize here!" He yelled, exasperated.

The wolf didn't seem interested in apologies and hit him hard on the back, sending him face-first to the ground. RJ turned around and pressed his forearms against the wolf's neck to keep it from tearing his throat out, assuming it would hurt very much, permanent or not.

"Listen to me!" RJ yelled at the wolf who kept pushing hard against his forearms, trying to reach something to bite. "Please! Listen to me!" The wolf growled and snapped its jaws so close to RJ's face, he could feel the animal's hot breath in his eyes. "This isn't you!" RJ yelled and pushed hard, forcing the wolf to move back enough so he could stand up. "It's me! It's all me!"

The wolf howled and launched at him again, RJ moved to the side, panting in exhaustion. He became aware he missed Flit's cheering voice, as he had heard it the last time he had fought his animal spirit. He felt like he had been struggling for years.

He needed a new plan, since apologizing to the wolf was obviously not going to work. He needed to find a way to make the wolf tame again, to make it fight by his side, not against him. He needed a way to join with it again, but he had never done it alone and he had no idea of what to do.

He noticed he hadn't been attacked in a couple of seconds and swallowing hard, turned around, looking for the animal.

He found it sitting behind him, just looking at him. It wasn't growling or snapping its jaws and RJ got temporarily worried that it was waiting for the right time to tear him to shreds.

"Hey, buddy," he whispered, taking a step towards the animal. He could have sworn the animal looked smaller. "Listen, I know I've been blaming you for a lot lately and I'm honestly sorry because that wasn't fair."

The wolf just sat there, looking at him, its eyes turning less yellow. It cocked its head to the side as if it were listening to something and RJ closed his eyes, listening intently, trying to understand what was making the animal so tame, so suddenly.

He could hear very soft whispering but he couldn't make out anything about the voice or what it was saying. It sounded very far away.

He opened his eyes and took another step towards the wolf. The animal was salt-and-pepper again, and the size of a normal wolf. Its head was still cocked, listening peacefully. RJ walked all the way to it and the wolf looked up at him, straightening its head. RJ extended a hand and the wolf whimpered.

"Hey, buddy," RJ whispered in turn. He also felt calmer and more relaxed. He felt a way he hadn't felt in a long time: loved and cared for. He sat in front of the wolf and the animal stood up. RJ took in a sharp breath, but the animal spirit was without a doubt no longer the monster it had been a couple of minutes ago. He extended his hand and the wolf stepped to him, resting its snout on his shoulder. "Hey," RJ whispered happily. With tears of joy forming in his eyes, he ran his hand over the animal's back. "Welcome back, buddy," he cooed. He rested his head against the wolf's head and closed his eyes. "I missed you so much."

He stayed there, holding his animal spirit quietly, feeling loved and at peace for the first time in what felt like forever. He felt protected instead of attacked and he felt whole again.

"It's great to have you back," he told the wolf. "But our battle is not over, buddy. We have an enemy to defeat out there and we have to give it everything we've got." The wolf howled softly. "I know, we have suffered so much. But we have new friends and they need our help," he buried his face in the wolf's fur and kept petting the animal. "What do you say? One more time?"

The wolf lifted his head from RJ's shoulder and howled loudly before turning into a ball of purple energy and entering RJ's chest, making him take a deep breath and wake up from the slumber he had fallen into after Mao's visit.

He opened his eyes to the moonlit room and looked at the ceiling, panting. He was covered in sweat and felt very lightheaded.

"Are you awake?" He heard a voice ask in a whisper. He turned his head to find Jen sitting on the bed next to him, running her hand over his sweaty forehead.

"Yes," he choked. She kissed his forehead and brushed his hair away from his face. "Weren't you mad at me?"

She smiled sheepishly and said: "Let me get you some water."

Before she could get up to do so, he took her hand and pulled her to him, kissing her deeply on the lips. She smiled at him but still said nothing and left the room to get the water.

While she was gone, RJ sat up slowly -he still felt lightheaded- took off his shirt and let it fall on the floor next to the bed. It was drenched in sweat, as were his pants, which was weird because it was supposed to be winter. He assumed he had been having cold sweats in his sleep and judging by the slight headache he had, his sleep had been uneasy for quite a while.

His hand went to his neck and he found the silver ring hanging from the cord there. He closed his eyes and whispered into it: "Stand down. It's under control."

Afterwards, he undid the knot behind his neck and took off the necklace completely, setting it on the bedside table.

Jen came back with the water as he was taking off his pants.

"Nightmares?" She asked, ignoring his actions.

"Not exactly," he said with a small smile. He pulled the covers back and got under them, sitting against the headboard. He looked at Jen and smiled at her, unsure whether to invite her to join him.

She approached the bed from the other side, set the glass of water on the bedside table, took off her shoes and pants, pulled the covers back and slid under them, sitting next to him. RJ smiled brightly when she handed him the glass of water.

"Thank you," he said and kissed her lips lightly. He drank the water in one single gulp and set the glass on his bedside table. "How long have you been here?"

"After what happened with Bridge, I was worried about you. I went to check that Bridge was fine and when I was sure he was, I came here to check in on you. You were asleep but you were tossing and turning, whimpering and sweating. It was obvious you weren't exactly resting well. I tried to wake you but I guess you were too exhausted or too deeply asleep. So I started-"

"Whispering to me," he finished, taking off her hairband, letting her brown hair fall down her back.

"Yes," she admitted, blushing slightly. " I didn't know what else to do, so I caressed your hair and your face and kept telling you everything was going to be fine and you were going to be alright and I guess it worked because you stopped tossing and turning."

"I was fighting my animal spirit," he told her, taking her hand in his. "It was a lost battle until something made it calm down."

"What?"

"You," he told her, kissing her hand. "I have never been able to regain control over my animal spirit by myself, I've always needed help. Your caresses, your whispers, your caring, your love... You gave me back my animal spirit." He kissed her forehead and hugged her.

"So Billy was wrong, it wasn't under your control after all?" She asked, still hugging him tightly.

"No, Billy was right," he said, pressing his forehead against hers. "But my pain was too big, my anger too strong, my wounds were too deep. There was no way I could have gotten over them by myself."

"How did I help?" She asked, moving back from him to look at his face. "I don't understand."

"I wasn't lying when I said I love you, Jen." He kissed her tenderly on the lips. "It wasn't pillow talk, I was being honest. I love you." He kissed her again to emphasize the point. "And no matter what you say, you love me too, or you wouldn't have erased all that pain and anger from the wolf."

She smirked and looked at his chest. Her hand touched his neck. "You took off the ring."

"I don't need it anymore."

"Why not?"

"I've got you," he said, pulling her close and kissing her passionately.

They broke the kiss and she caressed his hair, with a sad look on her eyes. "RJ, I can't stay here with you forever, you know that."

"I don't need you to," he said with a smile. "Just now is fine."

He settled down more comfortably on the bed, lying down to sleep, and pulled her to him. With a little smile, she took off her shirt and bra and then lay down next to him, pressing her skin against his. They both let out sighs of pleasure.

"I know it's very selfish, considering what's at stake here, but I wish we had more time to be together," she whispered, kissing his chest.

"Maybe in another occasion," he said, caressing her hair. "Tell me about you," he requested out of nowhere after a few seconds of silence, his hand running up and down her back.

"What do you mean?"

"Tell me your last name, the city you live in, your rank at the Time Force, you know," he kissed her hair. "Tell me everything I need to know to find you again."

"RJ, I don't travel back in time often-"

"I know. Still, tell me."

"What for?"

"So I can find you again," he insisted and squeezed against his body.

"What? Like in another life or something?" She asked, looking up at him.

"Or something," he said with a smile.

"I don't see the point of pretending this is ever going to be more than it is."

"Humor me," he insisted.

She surrendered: "My full name is Jennifer Scotts, I'm a sergeant in the Time Force and I live in Millenium City."

"What year were you born?"

"2981," she answered, relaxing under his tender caresses and soft voice.

"When did you meet Alex?"

"2997, when I was at the Time Force Academy."

"And when did you become a Power Ranger?"

"The year 3000."

He closed his eyes and recited everything she had just told him.

"What was the point of that?" She asked with a chuckle after he opened his eyes.

"Like I said, so I can find you again."

"What about you?"

"I don't matter," he said with a shrug.

"I want to know more about you too," she told him. "Where are you from?"

"Earth."

"That's not fair," she said, raising her upper body to have a better look at his face. "Why don't you tell me about you?"

He sighed. "I'm Dutch, my father is a sailor and wanted me to be a sailor too but my interests were elsewhere. I ended up at the Pai Zhua academy by accident and opened a pizza parlor because I thought it made the best cover for the whole Power Rangers thing."

"What does the 'J' stand for?"

"It doesn't matter," he told her, pulling her to him. "Because you don't have to find me," he kissed her deeply and while he kissed her, he gently pushed her onto her back and positioned himself on top of her. "I will find you."

"Why would you even bother?" She asked from under him.

"Because I love you," he told her and kissed her again. "I want a lifetime with you, even if it can't be this one."

"Have you always been this good at walking that thin line between romantic and cheesy?" She asked, laughing.

"Not really," he said, laughing with her. "But I practice as much as I can."

They laughed for a little while, looking into each other eyes.

"Is your wolf spirit really alright?" She asked, her hand on his chest.

"It's perfect."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because I'm perfect," he told her, kissing her jaw and neck. "As long as I can kiss you and you can kiss me, I will be perfect."

"I almost feel sorry for Venjix," she whispered, as his kisses moved lower down her chest.

He stopped kissing her and looked up at her eyes, a smirk on his gorgeous face. "Me too."