~~Chapter Twenty One~~

Edward's P.O.V

We sat on a train, my glare focused on the window. The trees flew by in blurs, the sky blending in as well.

"Ed, don't you think you're being a bit irrational? Erika is-"

"No, Al, I am not being irrational. I am being a father." I glared to my brother, seeing the weakness I hated causing so much. Al looked hurt, as if I had slapped him back somehow. I hated myself for that; I hated the fact that I could hurt Al so much. He was my only brother, and I was determined to keep our bond solid and strong.

"Ed, that's not what I meant, you know that. All I meant was that rushing into the fire is probably not the best thing, and you know that. You know that if you run in and yank Erika out, she will hate you for the rest of her life if it's at the wrong moment. You know that." Al gave me a scolding look, his eyes sharp. I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

"I know that Al, but all I want is my child back. I just want my daughter safe and at home." Before I could say anything more, Al was glaring to me full throttle now.

"You were the one who asked her to do this! You were the one who trained her, who told her she could do this, who gave her the determination to do this! You were the one who wanted to use his daughter as a tool of revenge! You were the one who got his ass beaten by Envy, someone who should be dead, and immediately sent his daughter into the danger!" Al hopped seats, grabbing me by the collar and shoving his face into mine. "It was all you. So stop eating away with all of this Father crap! You were the one who had his head full of revenge, the one who didn't stop to think the situation through. So stop letting this eat away at your "life". Suck it up, deal with the fact that you did this, and grow up! You have been through worse, always remember that."

Al held me for a few more seconds, his glare fixed on my eyes. I stared back, shocked at his words. He leaned back then, leaning his head against the back of the seat. He rubbed his temples, stress straining his face.

"Ed, I love Erika like she was my own daughter. But the only way you can earn a child's trust is by letting them make mistakes. You let them make them, and then they will realize that they were wrong, and they will come running." He looked over to me, his head rolling sideways limply. "Ed, Erika will come through. I promise."

I took Al's hand, squeezing it lightly. "Thank you Al. you have no idea how much I needed to be yelled at." I gave him a small smile, but my mind was going elsewhere.

He was right; I did throw her into this. I had trained her; I had begged her to do this. I was using her for my own pitiful, selfish revenge. I was using my own daughterfor some hopeless mission. This was all my doing, this was all my fault. I was responsible for anything that happened to my daughter. Envy was going to kill her, either that, or she would be stuck doing this for the next half of her life. If I couldn't stop Envy, I knew my daughter couldn't.

"And Ed, before you say anything, this was not all your fault. I am just as responsible for training her as you are. We share the blame together." What was I going to say, he asks?

"I wasn't thinking that. I was thinking I needed to have a little chat with God."

Erika's P.O.V

I sat outside of Eclipse's tent, waiting for him to be done snooping in his fathers' old stuff. He said that he wanted to do some research, learn what he could about his father's past. I tried to convince him that asking some of the people around the refuge might be a better idea, but he shook that idea off. He said he wanted to hear it as if from his father himself.

I had a feeling this was more about regret and guilt than actual interest. He probably regretted never asking his father about his life. From what I gathered while Scar was still alive, they did not exactly have the best of relationships. This was more of a personal thing than a research thing, and I knew that. I understood that he needed this, that he needed to reassure himself. I got the message, so I stayed out of the tent.

'Erika, I need you to help me with something." Eclipse poked his head out, beckoning me inside. I got up off the ground, going inside to sit next to him.

"What can I help you with?" I crouched over him slightly, looking at all the journals he had spread out. The scrawled words that I managed to read before he snatched some of them up.

"There are some terms in here… I don't understand what a Philosophers' Stone is, or Human Transmutation, or for that matter, the Truth, gates, any of that." He handed me a list of the words, but I was to shocked to say anything. I didn't take the paper; instead I snatched all the journals away from him.

"Eclipse, you don't need to read any more. You have enough information as is. Any other questions, you can come to me." I grabbed the list, making sure I did not miss on paper. As if in a trance, I then walked out of the tent, stuffing the papers and journals into my suitcase.

Was my dad's past coming back? Was I going to relive all that he did?