I have an exam tomorrow and I am so nervous. I thought I wouldn't be able to get this chapter in on time because of it but I'd hate to disappoint my faithful readers so I hope you enjoy reading it.
Anyone who has read Kay knows that this chapter was coming very soon and now it is finally here. For those who haven't… it's really sad but necessary.
As always, please, please, please review :). Special thanks to Tam Lin's rose and Espaol!
Espaol: Thank you so much for reviewing and I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far. It will be updated every Monday and though sometimes it may be a couple of days late, you'll definitely get one chapter a week.
CHAPTER 20: REZA
Winter 1851, Ashraf – Erik's POV
It had been a month since he had awoken from his poison-induced coma and Erik found himself sitting with a cup of tea in his hands, Selena sipping her own drink across from him and Ayesha pawing lazily at the silks of her mistress' robes.
He tried his best to ignore the way her pink lips grasped the edge of the cup and beautiful eyes looked up at him periodically, much as he had ignored her presence in his bed when he'd first awoken. She was most likely merely looking after him and had accidentally fallen asleep. Either way he would not question her, it would lead to far too much awkwardness that he was unwilling to endure. Better to just forget… or try to.
It was impossible. He could still feel the pressure of her head on his shoulder and her soft hair tickling his nose. The startled look on her face when she realised the compromising position they were in. The parted lips, the wide eyes, the red cheeks. She looked so beautiful in that moment.
Then there was his dream. It haunted him, brimming to the forefront of his memory every time he looked into Selena's mesmerising orbs. Her declaration of love, her kiss… his first kiss. The pressure of her lips on his, so soft and innocent. He looked at her sipping her tea and was met with the sudden urge to kiss her delectable lips; to make the dream a reality. But no. It was sinful; sinful to dream of tainting such purity with his awful lips. He could never allow himself to have such dreams again. She deserved to have a pretty, rich husband with an untainted past. She deserved a large manor with a large garden. Fancy parties, beautiful children. She deserved to live, not merely survive.
"Erik, are you alright?" Selena disrupted his plaguing thoughts with her heavenly voice. He'd heard her sing. Her sweet little voice. Clearly not the voice of a world-renowned soprano but it was hers.
"Yes, my dear. I was just deep in thought," he replied, instantly cursing his endearment. He had gained a nasty habit of calling her 'my dear' and though she had voiced no protest, her gentle blush indicated her discomfort. She wasn't his and he would do well to remember it.
Selena smiled prettily at him. "You've been deep in thought quite a lot recently."
"Yes. It appears that the realisation of one's own mortality tends to make one far more pensive," Erik declared, beaming at the giggle that escaped her pretty lips.
The daroga suddenly appeared from inside the house and looked at Erik with concern. "A messenger has arrived from Tehran."
Erik sighed and rose making his way to the main entrance, Selena and the daroga following quietly.
The messenger did not even have time to open his mouth before Erik threw a large bag of coins at him, watching as the man comically dove to catch it, looking inside in marvel. "You never survived the trip here. Leave Persia and make a better life for yourself. If you betray me there will be no hovel you can crawl into where I will not find you. I will strip the skin from your bones and leave you in agony for the wolves to find." The dazed man nodded quickly and ran back to his horse, riding off into the distance.
"This will not buy you much time. The Khanum will send another messenger," the daroga commented from beside him.
"Two months are all I need," Erik murmured sadly.
"Two months?" Nadir questioned, raising his eyebrows. "Surely it will take longer that to complete the palace."
Erik looked towards Reza, who was in the garden, enjoying the sun's warmth. Though he had become to blind to see more than flashes of movement, he made a point to always declare that he could still feel and hear. In the garden, with the sounds of insects, birds and the wind, the boy felt more alive than anywhere else. Even at night he insisted upon falling asleep with the window open, so he could listen to the 'sounds of the night', as he so called them. "I wasn't talking about the palace."
The daroga followed Erik, looking at his son and letting out a choking sob. "Surely he has more time?"
Erik looked at him sadly. "More time of agony as he slowly loses the ability to swallow and breathe. Time is cruel, Nadir. I… I have a poison. It's painless, he'll just fall asleep. It is far more kind. I can make these last months the happiest in memory. Let me paint him a rainbow."
Overcome with emotion, the daroga nodded and swiftly made his way over to his son. From a distance, Erik could see that they were talking, Reza smiling as his father told him some particularly amusing joke.
"Poor boy," Selena murmured behind him, picking up Ayesha, who had begun shedding the fabric of her clothes in an attempt to climb into Selena's arms. "He doesn't deserve this."
"No, no he doesn't," Erik agreed. "Would you be willing to help me paint him that rainbow, my dear?"
"Of course."
The pair made their way back into the house, already starting their plans.
The next two months flew by quickly. They were a kaleidoscope of colour, laughter and music, a combination that could only have been created by the talented mind of a master magician. Music swirled about them, filling the estate with sound beyond their wildest imaginings. Reza's laughter echoed throughout the day and at night a gentle smile tugged at his young lips. Only in the moments when he visibly deteriorated did it create a moment where the magic came to a screeching halt, but even in those moments Erik's skilful hand pulled at invisible strings, reviving the happiness and allowing it to stomp on the misery that Reza's imminent demise created. Several times a messenger came, and Erik would hand them a purse of money and a promise of severe punishment should they betray him to the Khanum.
But time is a cruel mistress. She passed quickly, far too quickly. One morning, as they all sat together eating their morning meal Reza let out a shuddering gasp. He struggled to breathe for several seconds. Eventually, his muscles gave in to his demands and with one final wheeze his breathing returned to normal. The poor boy could not see the agonised look in his father's eyes or the sadness that lurked in Selena and Erik's. It was time.
That afternoon, after Reza had departed to his room, Selena, Erik, Nadir and Ayesha lounged in the parlour. The magic was gone, and the room was filled with a gloomy darkness.
Slowly Erik reached into his pocket and retrieved a small vial, placing it in the daroga's trembling hands.
"No," Nadir shook his head. "There has to be more time. I'll let nature take its course, he'll have more time."
"More time would be cruel for him, you know that Nadir." Erik retorted, though there was no malice in his words, only sad acceptance.
Tears began pouring down the older man's face. "I can't. He's my son, Erik, my only child. He's the only thing I have left. You must understand… I just cannot do it."
Erik looked at the haggard man for a long time before letting out a loud sigh. "Stay here."
He stood and, picking up a Quran, headed to Reza's room, ignoring Ayesha, who had decided to follow him. The boy was awake, listening to a pair of singing birds fly past his window from his bed.
"Hello Reza," Erik greeted him.
"Uncle Erik!" Reza exclaimed, his happiness only adding to the guilt that gnawed at Erik's heart. Ayesha jumped onto Reza's lap and the boy giggled. The two had become close, their playful natures making them a highly compatible pair.
"I thought I might read to you," Erik stated, taking a chair and sitting beside the boy.
"Oh, yes please," the boy responded, clapping his hands in excitement before returning his hands to the tiger cub's fur. His speech had become so slurred it was sometimes hard to grasp his words. "What will you read?"
"The Quran," Erik replied simply, opening the book.
Reza's brow furrowed. "No, that's boring. I want a story full of adventure!"
"Not today, Reza," Erik told him sternly though he smiled at the boy's enthusiasm. "I'll tell you a story tomorrow."
"Will it have lots of adventures?" the boy asked excitedly.
Erik laughed sadly. "More than you can count."
"And magic?" Reza continued.
"Of course."
"Alright, then I guess you can read the Quran today." Reza decided, though he slumped slightly.
Erik sat on the edge of the bed and began to read. He was well aware of the power his voice possessed. He spoke slowly and calmly, lulling the boy into a tired slumber. As his eyes began to droop Erik picked up Ayesha, who mewed in displeasure, took out the vial and put it at the boy's lips. The boy swallowed instinctively.
At that moment Nadir and Selena's slipped into the room. Nadir immediately ran to his son's bedside and Erik stood with the cub, allowing the father to have the last moments with his son.
Erik stood beside Selena and waited, watching the young boy take his last breath, a small smile on his face as his father spoke to him in hushed tones. Nadir let out an anguished wail, picking up his frail son and holding him desperately to his chest as if that might awaken the boy. Erik looked to Selena and saw her crying, though she did not utter a sound.
Overcome with emotion, Erik strode out of the child's chamber, pausing only to give Ayesha to Selena and locked himself in his own rooms. He took off his mask and looked into the mirror. He had asked for Nadir to remove the looking glass many times, but the blasted man insisted that it was a guest room and, therefore, had to have a mirror. His skull-like face looked back at him mockingly. The face of a monster.
He let out a strangled cry and punched the mirror, the glass shattering and piercing his hand, leaving it covered in blood. He ignored it and began rampaging across the room, shattering lamps, overturning tables, shredding paper. Anything, anything to forget. How he longed for the sweet release of opium but here there was none.
Selena chose that moment to enter the room and screeched to a halt as she saw its state of disarray. She stared at him and he expected her to run in disgust. He could only imagine how he looked – unmasked, tears streaking down his face, blood pouring down his hand, his clothes haggard. Instead she approached him slowly as one might approach an injured animal. She didn't speak. There was no need for words. She led him to the bed and bade him sit before leaving the room for a few minutes. Erik had half a mind to continue his rampage but, becoming suddenly too exhausted he merely slumped on the bed.
Finally, Selena returned with several bandages and two basins, one filled with water. She picked up his injured hand a took out some tweezers from inside a pocket and began slowly picking out the shards of glass, placing them carefully in the empty basin. She then began washing his injuries with the warm water, pausing when he let out a quiet gasp of pain. He nodded for her to continue and she did, diligently making sure every wound was clean before beginning to bandage his hand.
How very kind his sweet Selena was. How very loyal. How he wished to hold her, taking comfort in her warm embrace but he would not dare to ask her for such a thing.
It turns out he didn't need to ask. Selena left the room, swiftly with her supplies, returning soon after empty-handed. She looked at him from the doorway for a few seconds, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. Her eyes were puffy, her lip was quivering, her cheeks were still stained with old tear-tracks but, God, she was beautiful.
She approached him once again, her eyes gleaming with gentle determination and Erik felt himself tense under her scrutiny. She sat beside him, their legs brushing softly and tenderly placed his head on her petite shoulder, resting her own head atop his. Soon he was weeping once again, this time into the material of her shirt. She held him tightly, rocking him slowly to and fro.
The next day they watched lugubriously as Reza was lowered to the ground, his final resting place. Erik did not speak to Nadir, certain that the man would not be willing to face his son's murderer. Selena, for some odd reason, had not come to her senses and stood beside him, her hand tucked in the crook of his elbow. she still steadfastly refused to look at him in contempt, despite having spoken several times to Nadir since the previous day.
He killed a child and she didn't hate him. Perhaps she had hit her head somewhere.
For a week Erik lurked about the estate, quiet as a phantom, avoiding Nadir and Selena as best he could, unwilling to think of the unbearable guilt that weighed upon his heart like lead. Selena, bless her, tried her best to find him, tempting him with sweet platitudes but he would shy away, retiring to his room wherein he would weep silently. Only Ayesha could find him, her keen feline instinct far more adept at hunting. She would comfort him as best she could, filling his hands and face with wet licks and his ears with gentle purrs. The tender beast would refuse to depart until she was certain he was adequately soothed.
Then, another messenger came. Erik did not protest when the man ordered his return to Tehran. That very afternoon he departed with Selena and Ayesha, Nadir being bound to remain in his estate to indulge ancient connections who were came to offer condolences.
He only looked back once as Ashraf melted in the horizon, determined to never return.