Embarrassment 21: Confessions
After Keitaro had said his peace, Anju decided to cut their meeting short. She couldn't even remember why she had wanted to see him in the first place. For some reason, being near Keitaro just didn't seem right. She could sense that there was more going on with him than even he wanted to tell her. He didn't seem too bothered that she was leaving anyways.
"Anju," he said, not looking at her. "Don't tell anybody what's happening."
Anju didn't reply, but walked out onto the balcony and flew off on a cloud of bats. After a few minutes, Keitaro went over to the door and slid it closed. He had been hoping that Anju would help him out on this one, but as far as he could tell, all he had done was piss her off. Of course she wouldn't do anything that would make Kanon sad. However, now Keitaro would have to make the choice on if he would stay with her or not. It wasn't an easy decision. As much as he loved her, he knew that the only way she would be safe is if he left.
There is nothing you can do, Keitaro, the voice whispered in his ear. No matter what you do, you will end up hurting her. When that happens, you'll be all alone.
"Just leave me alone," Keitaro muttered, taking a seat at his table. "You don't know me. Just get out of my head."
Of course I know you, Keitaro, the voice continued, laughing at his pain. I know you simply because I am you. I am your desire and lust for blood.
"You're just a figment of my imagination," Keitaro muttered, trying to shut out of the voice. "You aren't real."
Just you wait. Soon you'll be unable to control your killing instinct. When that happens, I'll be the one to take over. Hehehe."
Keitaro didn't know what to believe anymore. All he knew was that he was starting to run short on time. He was starting to require blood daily, the headaches weren't going away, and the voice was getting stronger each day, creating dark images within his head. All of his hard work had been for nothing. He tried so hard to refuse his need for blood, and learned to cope with the headaches. But now it was as if all of it had gone to waste. How long would it be before he snapped and actually attacked somebody? When that time comes, there would be no turning back. He had killed many feral half-vampires before. He knew the look in their face. It was the same features that he saw in the mirror. When a half-vampire goes completely feral, they lose touch with reality. All that matters is their hunger and they will kill to get it.
"Why does it have to end this way?" Keitaro asked nobody in particular. "What the hell did I do wrong?"
It was a long time before Keitaro could force himself to fall asleep. By the time he did, the morning sun was high in the sky. He had finally come to a conclusion though, and decided to tell Kanon the full truth. What he did after that, he would leave in the hands of fate.
Anju may have kept her mouth shut about Keitaro's problem, but Kanon knew that there was something wrong with her boyfriend. Her blood never lied to her, and she knew that Keitaro had a lot of anger built up in him. However, it wasn't the same as last time. She had never had such a strong reaction to him like she did the night before. Also, it seemed so sudden and violent, but quickly went away. It was almost as if for one moment, Keitaro had a sudden buildup of rage. He had said that everything was going to be okay, but she knew better. Why didn't she question him then and there? Was it possible that she just didn't want to believe the truth? She really couldn't say.
Even when her alarm awoke her at noon the next day, she was thinking about what had happened the night before. She decided the best way would be just to talk to him about it.
But first, Kanon thought, as she brushed her hair back, getting ready for work, I have to deal with Great Grandma.
After Kanon had tied her hair back into a ponytail and finished getting dressed, she headed down the staircase and went into the kitchen to make breakfast. She was startled when she ran right into her Great Grandma, who was looking through the fridge at all the "human food."
"Grandma," Kanon said, slightly startled. She hadn't expected somebody else in the house to be awake. "What are you doing up now?"
"I was hungry," Elda teased, continued to rummage through the fridge. She pulled out a loaf of bread and smelled it. Making a nasty face, she tossed it back into the fridge and closed the door. "Human food is so disgusting. It's no wonder they only live eighty years or so."
"I talked with Keitaro," Kanon said quickly, changing the subject. Elda gave her a suspicious look. "He's coming over tomorrow."
Elda's reaction wasn't exactly what she had expected. In fact, she acted like she hadn't even heard her granddaughter and left the room. But once she out of Kanon's sight, she gave a slight smile.
The rest of the day seemed to run quite smoothly for Kanon. Other than the large group of people that showed up at the bakery to buy Hina's famous nikuman, the day was quite interesting. The bakery ended up staying open longer than usual, and Kanon ended up having to stay late. Not only that but later in the day, Nariko showed up at the bakery to tell her that she was going to be busy with a school project tonight and couldn't hang out. Kanon was slightly disappointed but it didn't seem to bother her because, Keitaro showed up around closing time to walk her home.
"Oh, Keitaro," Manager Hina said, surprised to see him. "I haven't seen you around here in a while."
"I just got back yesterday," Keitaro said. He gave a look around the bakery. "Is Kanon here?"
"She just went into the back to clean up," Hina replied. She then reached behind the counter and pulled out a plate of chocolate chip cookies. "Would you like some? We didn't sell many of these today, so we have a lot of leftovers."
"I'm fine," Keitaro said politely. "I'll just wait for her outside."
By the time Kanon had finished cleaning and changed over into her normal clothing, Keitaro had been waiting outside for about fifteen minutes. She was glad to see that he looked better tonight than he did the night before. Smiling, she went out the door to meet him.
"Sorry for making you wait," she said, opening the bakery door and hugging him.
"Don't worry about it," Keitaro said. He let go of her and stared down at the ground. "Kanon, there's something I need to talk to you about."
"Not here," she quickly said.
She grabbed his arm and led him away from the bakery. He expected her to bring him to the park, like she usually did. Instead, she brought him to her old school. As it was night, the school would be empty. Even in the park, there was a chance that somebody might pass by. But at the school, nobody would ever pay any attention to them.
"We should be okay here," Kanon said, looking around.
Her eagerness to talk with him actually caught him by surprise. His initial thought was that Anju may have spilled the beans and told Kanon what was happening to Keitaro. "Did you know I was going to talk to you?"
Kanon shook her head and gave him a look of deep concern. He could feel her eyes searching his with much pain. Tears would definitely be flowing before the night was up.
"Keitaro, can I ask you something?" she said softly. "Do you think we're always be together?"
It was like a shotgun to the face. He was ready for her to ask anything but this, and the way that she asked it…. There was so much fear.
"W-why do you a-ask?" he stuttered.
Kanon was silent at first and averted her eyes from him. "Because… because of everything that's happening. My family doesn't want us to be together…"
"Don't worry about them, Kanon," he quickly said. "Your family is just looking out for you and don't want to see you in harm's way."
But she continued on as if she hadn't heard him. "… and now I get the feeling like you're not telling me the truth."
"I… um…. Wait."
She still ignored his comments for the moment. She wanted to finish what she had to say. "Keitaro, please… tell me the truth… what's going to happen next?"
Keitaro was silent. All last night, he had been practicing for this moment. But now, staring her in the face, he couldn't find the right words to say. It was so hard to just come out and say that he was going feral. But when he saw the tears slowly coming down her cheek, he gave a slight shudder and grabbed hold of her hands. What he said next wasn't exactly what he had planned, but he decided to let his heart do the talking.
"I really don't know what's going to happen next," he said honestly, holding her hands close to him. Kanon remained silent but starred up into his eyes suddenly feeling safer, mentally. Keitaro just cleared his mind of all thoughts and continued. "But you are right, Kanon. I was lying when I told you everything would be alright."
She knew deep down that that would be his answer, and it only made her want to cry more.
"However," he continued, "no matter what happens I would never dream of leaving you. I love you, Kanon Usui. I know you hear me say it a thousand times, but it's true. Your family may not trust me… hell, your aunt wants to kill me half the time…"
She laughed, which made him smile.
"But don't ever think that I would want anything to change."
"But what about us being half-vampires?" Kanon asked.
"What about it?" Keitaro continued in his gentle tone. "Right now, there are no problems. So let's not worry about it until it becomes a problem."
"I guess you're right," Kanon said. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm feeling just as good as I did yesterday," he said.
Once again, Keitaro had completely dodged telling her the truth just so that he could see her smile again. But it was different this time. Keitaro now knew that no matter what happened, he would never leave Kanon to her pain. There was no way that he would ever allow himself to go feral if it meant Kanon would have to be alone. It's too bad his will isn't as strong as his desire…
And so, after a long break we finally start the second half of the story. I've had some time to think and now, thanks to some help from some of you, especially Osuahiru-sama and LexiGirl, I know exactly how I plan to continue the story. Thank you for all the reviews and I hope to see more for future chapters.