AN: A couple of you felt very strongly about the last chapt, what happened, their reactions to Eric abandoning Sookie at the club. Yea that was pretty messed up. Everyone knows what Glögg is right?

Thank you for all your reviews and comments. And as always thanks for reading.

Sookie lay on her side, she felt Eric rolling onto his side behind her. His arm wrapped around her and she felt his warm breath on the back of her neck. She hugged her pillow and she felt his finger lightly graze along the outside shell of her ear. She stared out into space as she felt Eric draw little circles on her stomach. She felt him lightly kiss her back. She closed her eyes and breathed in and out slowly. She rolled over and faced Eric. She looked into his eyes. She tried to find something, anything in there for her to hold onto.

Her fingers reached out and lightly grazed his jawline and then over his soft lips. Her fingers touched his eyebrow and slowly traced his cheekbone. He was beautiful. There was no denying it. And now she realized HE was the pretty one in this pseudo relationship or whatever it was. Of course he would be the pretty one, something she had to accept. People would look at them and wonder why was he even with her. After all look at him, he could do so much better. Sookie mentally sighed. She couldn't fight with herself anymore. Go big or go home. Go home, her mind kept telling her. Go home, get out of his bed, get out of his apartment, and get out of Shreveport. Her mind was yelling, screaming at her to leave. But her heart was his.

She held onto his gaze searching for something. Anything. Her thumb lightly ran over his lips and she closed the distance between them. She kissed him and felt his arms wrap around her. She felt him turn her onto her back, and kiss her neck slowly making his way down. She reached down and grabbed his blonde hair to stop him from going further.

"Stop, please, my girl bits really can't handle anymore"

"Did I give you too much of a tongue lashing?"

"Get up here"

Eric was showing her how sorry he was, even if he couldn't say it. He paid a lot of attention to her girl parts, a bit too much. She couldn't handle anymore of his tongue on her girly bits, it was driving her insane. She felt him push inside her, and her eyes widened. She held onto him and her back arched up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and clung onto him, she wanted to feel closer to him. Eric noticed a change in her, and he wrapped his arms around her and held her closer, tighter to him.

"Eric...Eric..." Sookie gasped out

She felt herself go, she let herself go. She released her tight grip on him and Eric slowed down. He loosened his grip on her, and let her gently onto the bed. He pushed her hair out of her face and watched her as her breathing became a normal pace.

"What?" She asked him

"Are you done?" he asked

"Are you?"

"Not even close"

"What do you mean you're still with him?" Tara yelled at Sookie

"I'm still with him" Sookie answered back as she drank her soda.

"Are you brain dead or just retarded?" Tara said as she wiped the counter of the bar at Merlotte's.

"Tara!"

"He left you there, alone, with no ride back. Why would you stay with someone like that? He obviously doesn't care about you. He made that very clear. What the hell happened?"

Sookie sighed and looked down at the wooden panels at the bar. Her fingers traced the outside of the coaster her soda sat on.

"Don't tell me you had sex with him" Tara said

"Fine I won't"

"Sookie, I care about you, I'm worried about you"

"Don't be. He spent all week being nice to me. Taking me to the mall, to the movies, watching chick flicks, watching me as I tried on shoes, he's trying ok?"

"He's groveling, I'll give him that. Did he even say he was sorry?"

"Oh, he didn't have to say it" Sookie smiled from ear to ear.

Tara looked at her and then threw her hands up in the air.

Eric pulled into the driveway as Sookie was putting her shoes on. Gran noticed Sookie wasn't her usual excited self. She was usually singing or humming to herself when Eric was coming to get her. She'd put on several dresses and she'd hear her upstairs running about. But this time Sookie was quiet. Too quiet. Sookie stood up and picked up her bag.

"Sookie? Something wrong?" Gran asked

"No, everything's fine" Sookie answered

"You don't seem fine, did you two have a fight?"

"No, you don't have to worry about me Gran, I'm ok"

"But you're not happy. Last time you ran down the stairs with no shoes on and practically tried to climb him. Now you're putting on your sneakers and walking out. What happened? Did he do something to you?"

"No Gran, it's not him. It's me." Sookie kissed her Gran on the cheek and walked out.

Gran watched as Sookie walked over to Eric and there was a second or two of them just staring at each other, before Eric walked up to her and hugged her. Gran knew there was something wrong, there was sadness in her, but she couldn't figure out from what.

Eric drove off while Sookie looked out the window. Eric reached over and placed his hand on her knee.

"Pam brought us back some Glögg" Eric said as she squeezed her knee lightly

"What the hell is that?"

"You'd like it, you guys have eggnog, we have Glögg"

"Ugh, I hate eggnog, always makes me want to throw up"

"Just try it ok?"

"Ok, where we going?"

"You want a milkshake?"

"Not that diner where the waitress was practically trying to mount you. I swear it was like I wasn't even there"

"Ok, no diner then"

"I didn't say that. I just don't want her trying to mount you while I'm trying to eat my bacon cheeseburger. You screaming 'help me oh help me' while I'm trying to eat. It's very distracting"

Eric just laughed.

"Help me, I'm just a helpless football player at LSU. I'm blonde everywhere." Sookie imitated a damsel in distress.

"You know you do have a future in acting"

"Right, I might as well be a foot model"

"You know they make good money, plus you have high arches, those are always in demand"

"How do you know?"

Sookie was twirling around Eric's apartment holding a glass of Glögg. Eric was watching her from the couch. She stopped spinning and sat next to him.

"This stuff is pretty good" Sookie said

"Yeah, apparently it's a bit strong for you"

"Not! I'm fine"

"Why are you wearing sneakers?" Eric asked as he looked down at her feet.

Sookie was wearing her red converse low tops. She had a good reason for wearing them. And this is when Drunk Sookie came out. Drunk Sookie got up twirled a bit.

"Cause, I wanted comfy shoes to walk in when you ditch me on the side of the road. I might have to run too. Gotta be prepared"

Eric got up and walked towards her. He took the glass out of her hands. He leaned down merely inches away from her face.

"You're cut off"

"You're no fun. You used to be fun. What happened to you" Sookie said as she walked towards him

Eric turned around and just glared at her.

"Oh, it's your angry face. Not to be confused with your constipated face" Sookie just mimicked his face.

"You're drunk"

"So? Not the first time. I thought you liked Drunk Sookie. You said she was more fun."

"Drunk Sookie is really unattractive right now"

"Screw you then! Oh wait I did, "Sookie laughs a little to herself, "Then there's Eric's sex face. You know you do that thing with your mouth right before-"

"What the hell is wrong with you tonight?"

"YOU! You're what's wrong! And you don't even know it!" Sookie threw her arms around in the air.

"Sookie, please," Eric walked up to her and lifted her chin to look into her eyes

"I don't feel good" Sookie said as she fell down.

Eric caught her before she hit the floor, and rushed her to the bathroom. Sookie saw the toliet and her head went in and she proceeded to throw up. Eric pulled her blonde hair back and held it for her while she continued to vomit. His hand started rubbing her back as she threw up her bacon cheeseburger, and fries, and onion rings. Eric lifted her up and tried to splash her face with water, but Sookie was gone. He carried her back to his room and put her on the bed. He took her shoes off and took her clothes off. He put one of his shirts on her and pulled the blanket over her. He put a trash basket next to her and then rolled her onto her side facing it. He went back to the bathroom, flushed the toilet and cleaned up.

Sookie started to move in the bed. She opened her eyes slowly and quickly shut them. The brightness of the room was blinding her and she pulled the sheets over her head.

"Sookie?" Eric asked

"Why is the room spinning?"

"Drink this"

"No more drinking"

"It's the hangover remedy I made in Sweden. I put a straw in it for you"

Sookie moved the sheets down and covered her eyes with her hands. The room was blinding. Eric moved the glass down and moved the straw to her mouth. She took a few long gulps and then it was gone. Eric took the straw out of her mouth and pulled the sheet over her head. He went to the kitchen to wash out the glass and came back into the room. He sat down on the bed and rubbed her back slowly.

"You ok now?"

"What the hell was in that stuff last night?"

"It's Glögg, it's just goodness in a bottle. I know you can't handle it now."

"Ugh, why is the room still spinning? My eyes are closed and it's still spinning"

"Do you even remember what happened last night?"

"Not really, I remember parts, the waitress eye fucking you, and you giving me that stuff to drink, and then I was dancing, and then..." Sookie was trying to remember, but she only got bits and pieces. But she did remember making an offering to the porcelain god. She remembered throwing up as it was the worst feeling her body experienced. She remembered Eric was there holding her hair back. Now she was mortified. She didn't want him to see her like that. Ever. Hell she wouldn't want anyone to see her like that.

"Oh my god. I must have been so attractive last night throwing up" Sookie said as she hid under the sheets

"Not that bad. I mean you made it to the bathroom. Plus I held your hair back so you don't have vomit in your hair"

"Oh god. This is just embarrassing"

"Why? Is this the first time you've thrown up?"

"Yes, and you got to witness it, oh god! Let me die now"

"It's not that bad, so you threw up, it happens"

"To you?"

"No, I can handle my booze, lightweight, oh cmon don't worry about it" Eric leaned down and hugged her from behind, "I've seen you without make up, I've seen you without clothes on, I've seen you very, very intimately, and now I've seen you throw up. You're still pretty"

"How can you say that?"

"Even though you smell like vomit right now, I'd still do you"

"That's so romantic"

"If you showered it would help, a lot"

"Is that all you think about?"

"With you? Yes, all the time" Eric moved closer to her and tickled her, and she squirmed and got out of bed.

"Ok, I'm showering" Sookie walked to the bathroom

Sookie walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around herself. Her wet hair was flowing freely onto her back. She saw that the shirt she wore was gone and she looked for another shirt. She felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist.

"You smell like me" Eric said as he nuzzled her neck

"Stop it Eric"

"Cmon, I made breakfast, er, lunch" Eric took her hand and led her to the kitchen where he made her deformed looking pancakes.

Sookie smiled a little at how hideous his pancakes looked. She never realized how hard it must have been to make them round like circles, but she just laughed internally. But there was at least bacon. Sookie sat down on the seat next to the counter. She looked over at Eric who was eating his deformed pancakes happily. She smiled to herself and started to eat. He was trying, in his own weird little way he was trying.

"Do you want some syrup?" Eric asked

"Sure"

Eric got up and went to the fridge and took out the syrup. He opened it for her and she poured it on her pancakes but she spilled some onto her leg.

"Oh crap" Sookie put the bottle down on the counter and reached for a napkin.

"Let me" Eric said grabbing her hand.

Eric walked around the counter and crouched down onto his toes, just at the right level of her legs. His head moved quickly as well as his tongue as he licked it off her leg. His hands on her thighs were slowly massaging them open. Sookie already knew what was going to happen. She pushed her plate of pancakes to the side.

Amelia walked into the dorm room and looked around. She was excited that this would be their last year in the room. She set down her bag by her bed.

"Amelia!" Tara screamed out

Amelia turned around and the two girls hugged each other.

"How was New York?" Tara asked

"Great! How was your summer?"

"Wasn't that bad. Worked a lot but got to spend a lot of quality time with my cousin"

"How is Lafayette?"

"He's trying to be a DJ at night, and a line order cook during the day, and somewhere in there he's also doing road work. He's working hard that's for sure"

"Have you seen Sookie yet?"

"I saw a few times during the summer, she's been otherwise occupied with mr tall blonde and asshole"

"Did something happen?"

"Yeah, his dumbass left Sookie alone in Monroe, with no ride home, with no way of getting home. If Lafayette wasn't there she'd be stranded there."

"Why would he do that?"

"No idea, and after that she took him back, I mean that girl must be brain dead"

"Did they even talk?"

"Doesn't look like it. She was all messed up after he did that to her. But she took him back, and spent the rest of the summer with him. But something's off. She's not the same. When you see her you'll know"

"We gotta help her"

"Don't I know it"

Sookie leaned against Eric's corvette wearing his football jersey. Pam glared at her.

"Feels like we've had this conversation before" Pam said

"Him and his precious car" Sookie stood up and got off the car, "What is taking him so long?"

"He always takes that long. After the game he likes to take long showers with the other guys, slowly, exploring each other's bodies"

"Pam, this is your brother"

"I know, I'd rather him be gay"

Quinn was carrying his gear out and walked into the parking lot where he saw the two girls. He saw Sookie walking around the car. He started to imagine her the way she was in Eric's picture he had on the phone. He walked up to her and smiled.

"Hi" Quinn said to Sookie

Sookie looked up from where she was looking at. She was daydreaming and Quinn startled her.

"Hi" Sookie responded

"Still here"

"Waiting for Eric, he takes forever"

"He likes to shave his legs"

"Didn't you try to help him?"

Quinn's gaze lowered and rested on her breasts.

"Hey! I'm up here!" Sookie yelled, "If you haven't noticed I'm wearing his number"

"You're wearing it, doesn't mean you're keeping it on"

"Fuck off juice head. She's underage unless you're into that kind of shit" Pam yelled

"Apparently Eric is. You are definitely Eric's sister" Quinn yelled at her

"I can kick your ass just the same" Pam yelled

"When you get tired of the barbie twins, give me a call" Quinn said as he invaded Sookie's personal space.

Before Sookie could respond, a hand appeared on Quinn's shoulder. Quinn turned around and Sookie backed away.

"Quinn, seriously," Eric said

"Just saying hi" Quinn said

"She's mine"

"Whatever" Quinn said as he walked off, "If she was really yours, you wouldn't make her wait like that for you. Just saying."

Sookie was sitting in her dorm room filling out applications and forms for college. She written about a dozen essays on random things, some personal essays some not so. She applied to all the local state schools and LSU for obvious reasons. She wanted to be near Eric. And she couldn't get any closer to him if they went to the same school. She applied to a few northern states and to the University of Hawaii. If she got in on a full scholarship she'd go to Hawaii no questions asked. She sealed the envelopes and heard her phone go off. She looked over and saw it was Eric. She saw that Eric sent her a picture. She laughed.

Sookie lay in Eric's bed on her side. She felt him behind her, his arm around her waist holding her close. She stared out into space. Eric kissed her bare shoulder and sensed something wrong. She seemed elsewhere.

"Sookie?" Eric asked as his fingers grazed along her arm

"Hmm?" Sookie responded

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah"

"Are we ok?"

"No, we're not"

Eric stopped and turned her onto her back to make her look at him. His eyes filled with concerned, he held onto her shoulders.

"Tell me what to do" Eric said

"There's nothing to do"

"Sookie..."

"I used to feel safe with you," Sookie reached up and her fingers ran along his jawline, "that day when you came to get me at the house, after he showed up. You made me feel safe, I believed you."

Eric smiled and grabbed her hand that was lingering on his face and kissed it.

"But I don't feel it anymore," Sookie took her hand away, "I don't feel safe with you anymore"

Eric looked at her with an unreadable expression. He knew he screwed up, he knew he hurt her, he knew all this, but to hear her say it, he realized things wouldn't be the same with her. He had hit a wall. He couldn't say it to her. He could tell her he was sorry for hurting her, that he abandoned her that night, and that he was too much of a coward or asshole to call her to find out how she got back. He could never really tell her how he felt. It was that damn wall. He couldn't get over it, or around it. It was always there blocking him. Blocking him from everything and everyone. Hell, even Pam couldn't get through it. But at least he thought Sookie knew how he felt. She had let him off the hook at Christmas when she told him that she knew.

But here she was telling him that he had failed her in not so many words. Eric kissed her hard, pushing her into the pillow. It was forceful. Sookie tried to push him off. He felt her hands on his chest, trying to push him. He stopped and got off her and walked out of the room. Sookie sat up on the bed wondering what just happened. She wasn't in the mood to deal with any stupid guy moments. She pulled the sheet around her and went outside.

She found Eric in the kitchen, trying to make grilled cheese. She walked closer to him. She noticed he used mayo on the outside of his sandwich. She watched him as he flipped his grilled cheese. She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around her and rested her head on his back. Eric froze for a second, feeling her warm body press up against his.

"Do you want one?" Eric asked

"Sure, but why do you make yours with mayo and not butter?"

"My mom used to make it with mayo. I guess it stuck"

"I've never had it with mayo before. You got any soup?"

"Yeah," Eric reached over to the cupboard, while Sookie kept her arms around him, and opened it and pulled out a can of tomato soup.

"You got any goldfish?" Sookie asked

"No" Eric said as he put the can on the counter

"Then how do you have grilled cheese and soup without them then?"

"You know I could make your grilled cheese with the iron instead"

"Ew, why would you do that?"

"I used to do that as a kid, since I wasn't allowed near the stove"

"You're quite resourceful aren't you?"

Eric turned around.

"Can you handle making soup?" Eric handed her the can

"I think I can handle it" Sookie took the can from him, "But goldfish would have been better"

Sookie watched Eric make another grilled cheese and smothered the mayo outside of the sandwich. She wondered what Eric was like as a kid, she could almost picture him trying to make grilled cheese with an iron and sharing it with Pam. Like Pam would ever eat that.

Eric handed Sookie her plate with grilled cheese. Sookie picked it up and realized it was incredibly greasy. She took a bite and realized the mayo made it even more salty and greasy.

"Oh my god, this is SO greasy!" Sookie said as she put it down, "No wonder you like it"

"I like a lot of things, like you" Eric looked at her

Sookie got up to get a napkin to wipe her hands. When she turned around Eric was standing right behind her.

"Things won't be the same between us will they?" Eric asked

"No"

"Can we try?"

"Now there's a we?"

"It's always been we, or us, or whatever."

"No there's just you"

"I can't change the past, I can't change what happened. I know I hurt you, and I know you're mad, but you have to know that I do care."

Eric pulled her towards him but she pressed her hand against his chest to stop him.

"Sookie, I just, I can't...I do care, I just...I'm..." Eric tried to say the words but they wouldn't' come out.

Sookie's hand rest on top of Eric's heart. She could feel it beating, starting to race as he stumbled with his words. She looked into his eyes and saw they were struggling, that he was still struggling. She sighed.

"I know Eric, I know. You big football player" She leaned into his chest and held onto him, "Don't ever do it again"

Eric held onto her and finally let go of that breath he was holding. He relaxed against her. And for a moment, Sookie felt safe again.

AN: Were you amused? Yeah I don't know when you're suppose to apply for college in high school, it's been ages for me and I can't remember, so I probably screwed that up, so don't hold it against me ok? The college stuff comes in later, really ok?

That brings up the mayo vs butter on the grilled cheese. don't go ew on me. i already had this debate with someone. but which one do you choose?