Chapter 21 – Job Interview
More than one of the five researchers assembled in Room 1-138 felt nervous. Not because of any imminent danger (far more threatening items had come through) but because of the sheer weirdness of it. Considering they worked for an organization where "paranormal" generally rated as "just a typical day at the office," that was really saying something. Armed with a battery of questions, they would now direct them at a child-sized talking panda that seemed to have stepped out of "World of Warcraft."
"You know" said one "I feel like this is what would happen if Phil Coulson finally saw something that fazed him."
Chuckles all around. The similarities between comic-book/television S.H.I.E.L.D. and real-world SPEAR were hard to pass up. Still, there had been no alien incursions in recent memory, or, as SPEAR officially dubbed them, "Offworld Contact Events."
"Do you think she's an OCE?"
Dr. Laura Kraft, PhD (Archeology), couldn't resist the opportunity.
"May, just because you want to test your judo or whatever on an alien doesn't mean…"
"First off, it's karate" corrected Dr. May Linda, herself a PhD holder in several fields with names too long for those unversed to pronounce or understand. "Second, it's still possible."
"I'd bet the chances of that are less than Jóse not killing another ship load of characters in his latest work" sniped Dr. Bruce Wane, PhD in materials science.
"And you said you don't read that stuff" jibed Dr. James Arbat. "Liar!"
"I win" grinned Dr. Jóse Fedón. "Pay up!"
Kraft reluctantly handed Fedón ten dollars while Wane turned slightly red.
"If you're quite finished, I'm here with your interviewee."
Li Li gave Bokat-Anne a nasty look. She hadn't minded Duran Bowder, even though he couldn't answer all her questions. Even though Vizsla hadn't done anything else unpleasant since the kidnapping, being kidnapped didn't tend to create a groundswell of goodwill. Handed off from the usually-kind Bowder to the all-business Bokat-Anne, Li Li found herself handcuffed and dragged off to who-knew-where.
It appeared Bowder had been dead-on, a panel of very official-looking persons sat before her.
She had heard stories about people seeking advanced education being forced to sit in front of panels like this for some reason. She wouldn't be defending anything, she didn't think.
"State your name, please."
She read the name panels in front of each questioner.
"Are you all the stuffy types that want to be called 'doctor' all the time?"
"If you put twenty years of your life into your education from start to finish, you'd be 'stuffy' about it too" replied Dr. Kraft.
Li Li silently conceded they might have a point. After all, she recalled her uncle Chen being very proud of his title of Brewmaster.
"So whaddaya wanna know? Not that there's much to tell…"
The pandaren sat down at a large table. She could see her name, the whole name (not just "Li Li" which is what the other Heroes tended to call her) on a placard.
"Li Li Stormstout, surely you understand the importance of observing the formalities of such occasions" scolded Dr. Fedón, though she could see a small smile playing at the edges of his lips.
"What's the big deal?" she blurted. "Does your world not have…" She stopped, remembering her conversations with Bowder.
"Well, we do" said Wane. "But not openly. The fact that you, a being that in this world is considered a work of fiction, are sitting here speaking to us means that we have encountered a new form of, I'm sure you've heard the term, functional supernatural phenomena."
"We did speak with Bowder after you were brought here. He may have told you a little more than he was supposed to…" hinted Arbat.
"This is where you tell me everything else, right?" She grinned.
"Dr. Arbat, must you?" sighed Linda. "I keep forgetting telling stories was your craft in undergrad."
"Undergrad!" barked Kraft. "So long ago, and so much less stressful than what follows. And we all thought it was hard…"
"If we are to gain your trust" continued Arbat, ignoring Dr. Linda's jibe, "I propose we are more open with you than we ordinarily would be. Especially since we are asking you to work for us."
A short conversation followed, conducted in whispers that even Li Li's pandaren ears could not pick up. For an "interrogation" it seemed more like the reverse—with her asking questions and them answering. She learned that an institution called the "Catholic Church" had at one point zealously suppressed belief in the supernatural. In fact, some acts it dubbed "miracles" were actually FSPs, while others were mere rumor—how better to hide a needle than in a stack of needles?
"Yes, some of what you call 'flying machines' tended to disappear in the Bermuda Triangle—there's a reason, though even we aren't quite sure why other than it's a FSP" laughed Dr. James-Johnson Arbat. "Great fodder for films!"
In the end, Li Li felt quite confident she'd be able to take SPEAR's message to the other Heroes successfully. Her curiosity ended up being an unexpected asset—after all, when you study FSPs day in and day out, it became easy to lose track of what might interest the uninformed.
"And…what about them?" she asked. "They're kinda…small."
"We'll see to it they are scaled up."
Her interview done, Li Li found herself taken away, though this time Vizsla did not see fit to slap handcuffs on her.
A world away, instead of Heroes of the Storm, the possessor-of-printed-Heroes arranged a visit to a company called "Nexus Forge."