This angsty one shot doesn't have a HEA. But the sequel that follows leaves a much sweeter look at where this couple might end up.
The song used in this is Keith Urban's stupid boy which doesn't really fit this couple (the guy in that song is more cruel than Derek) but the end works okay for what I wanted in this fic.
Premise- A way the writers could have teased Morgan and Garcia fans in the second half of this season. It twists the events in episode thirteen (the one with the teen suicides that aired recently) that was titled Risky Business, by changing where Derek and Penelope were sitting on the jet on the way home.
Miss Your Touch
May 2010
Derek loved that Penelope was coming along on more cases lately. Not only did that mean more time seeing his baby girl but it also meant cuddle time on the way home.
They didn't talk about it. There were no jokes made or even mention of it between the lines. It was just something that started after the Wyoming case where Emily explained the legend concerning her star puzzle. Her story, Reid's response to it and then Emily's response to him made everyone smile and laugh. It cut the tension on the quiet plane.
A little while later JJ mentioned wanting to take a nap so Hotch lowered the lights. Derek laid his own head back and closed his eyes. He listened as Penelope tried to get comfortable next to him, but it didn't seem to be working so well for her.
Wearing an indulgent grin he patted his shoulder and said "Right here, baby girl."
Soon her head rested there and she let out a happy sigh. It wasn't long before they were both asleep.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
About once a month after that Hotch ordered Penelope to accompany the team to the location of their latest case. Whenever they were coming back on the jet Derek made sure he sat next to her. They didn't always grab the same seats on the jet but they made sure they didn't sit in single seats anymore.
As if, by silent agreement, they had decided that the jet was a place where they could be closer than they were on solid ground.
The time she was playing cards with Reid, on the couch, Derek sat behind her with Penelope between his legs. He said he was her helper and he would joke with her, whispering things in her ear that had nothing to do with the game but that he told Reid was their team strategy. The way she laughed and teased him felt so good and right.
After a bad case for him, with an unsub who was a teenage boy that had been molested and turned his rage and pain on the world, it was Derek's head that ended up on Penelope's shoulder, and their fingers intertwined. The team was all subdued during that ride and everyone was dealing with their pain and memories in their own way. Derek was glad to have Penelope there to comfort him. She was the one who reached for his hand, as he brooded away in his own mind, and then he lay his head down....needing her and knowing that when the jet landed she would go off to be with Lynch. Derek's pride wasn't stronger than his pain, for once, and he just took his chance to rest against her.
She was a port in the storm for him when he needed it desperately. His solace, then and now, and always.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
The sun was just coming up as the pilot told them to prepare for landing.
It was nearly five am on a late Spring day. Everyone was exhausted after a tense and tiring case dealing with child predators who were using online games to lure children into sexual relationships. It was a network of pedophiles. A parent found out about it and turned into their unsub- killing off every pedophile he could track down.
Derek struggled with who he was trying to protect by taking that guy off the street. Overall he felt lousy about the whole thing and needed his time on the plane with Penelope more than ever. After about an hour into the flight, from Portland, everyone was ready to try and sleep. It was after midnight and they weren't in any mood for chatting considering the day they had.
Draping his arm around Penelope's shoulder, Derek silently pulled her against his chest before he titled his seat back and closed his eyes. Her contented sigh told him she was just where she wanted to be.
He woke up a few hours later but didn't move away from her. Across from him Reid was reading a book. He gave Derek a small smile. Rossi was engrossed in his blackberry.
Back on the couch JJ was curled up with a blanket on her, sleeping peacefully. Being a mom she knew how to grab sleep when she could. So when she got home she could spend time with her little boy.
Hotch sat in a single seat, staring out the window, and Emily was asleep in a different single seat across the aisle.
Since they were about to land it was time to get seat belts on. Hotch woke Emily and then JJ. Derek turned to Penelope and tried to put her seat belt on without waking her, but her eyes fluttered open. His face was very near hers.
She blinked and gave him a sleepy smile. Her hand went down to cover his, on her lap, and she took over buckling the seat belt. He shifted back into his own seat as she moved fully into hers. Knowing her very well he wasn't surprised when she took her purse out from under the seat and started to fix her make up.
Derek just watched her for a long moment and then his eyes drifted away. It felt too intimate. Soon she would be back in her home, laying in bed next to her boyfriend, and Derek would be back in his, laying in bed next to his dog.
But on the jet it felt like they were two different people. Not who they used to be exactly. Not all they could be either. Just two people who needed to feel the touch of each other.
That jet was an in between common ground for them. Something they had needed to find for a while now. Their cuddling was a reaction to the way they couldn't touch when they were back at Quantico- wouldn't want Lynch to get the wrong idea, after all.
But Lynch, and his techie friends, were not around on the jet so Derek and Penelope could sneak in some stolen moment. Each one was precious to him. He needed this more than ever now.
It certainly wasn't all Derek wanted but it was more than he had with her in years. And he liked it.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
The last part of their ritual was that he would carry her bags off the plane, walking behind her always, and put his hand on her back. Today he told her, in the early morning quiet, "You did real good, baby girl. We couldn't have solved this one without you."
"Thank you, sweetness....." The way she said the words made it seem like she wanted to add more but she didn't. There was no offer to grab some breakfast at the local diner where they used to spend so many hours they had their own booth, and the senior citizen waitress was convinced they were married. There wasn't a mention of maybe seeing a movie during the three days they were going to have off. They hadn't done that in years either.
Derek missed those non-date dates they had. He missed having sweat shirts that smelled like her because she borrowed them when she was cold and hanging out at his house. He missed teasing her when she put on his thick white socks because her feet were freezing in the middle of winter. He missed making grocery lists that had Garcia stuff on it, so he could have what she liked when she stopped by to hang out. He missed her being there when his mom called and him putting it on speaker phone. He missed getting calls in the middle of the night from her. He missed so much that he never knew he was about to lose that night two years ago when Battle put a bullet in her.
Or maybe Derek lost it all before that. Lost her on some night when he should have kissed but he was too stupid to know it was his last chance. Or did he lose her in the middle of their fight where he couldn't get a word in edgewise? He isn't sure. He only knows that when he finally looked up, months later, he saw she was gone. She wasn't spending her days and nights crushing on her Hot Stuff anymore.
She moved on.
(It took awhile for her to figure out she could run
but when she did
she was
long gone
long gone, long gone.
-
Ah, she's gone)
Standing in the parking lot, since they were told to head home and do the paperwork when they got back to work, Derek said "See you later, Garcia. You get home safe, girl."
"You too, sweetness."
At that moment all he wanted was to be taking her home with him but he felt like he blew all his chances to make that happen years ago. He hadn't wanted to give up his freedom. To risk a broken heart.
Well now he had all the freedom and space he could stand. And a broken heart to go with it.
(Nobody's ever gonna love me like she loved me
And she loved me
She loved me
-
God please, just let her know
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
-
Baby, yeah,
I'm down on my knees
-
She's never coming back to me)
At least when she traveled with the team Derek still had his baby girl, just the way he needed her most, for those few precious hours when they were heading home together.
THE END
Inspired by Where You Are. Song by Jessica Simpson. Mvid by carenashley.