Chapter Twenty One

"He's not talking to me again!" Gimli declared in exasperation poked a little too vigorously at his peas, causing a couple to fly up and hit Kili in the face. They were the only two schedule for the second lunch period. And though Kili wanted to be a good friend, he really didn't know what he was supposed to do in this situation.

"Any idea why?" he asked carefully, assuming he was talking about Legolas. Considering the blond boy had been complaining yesterday about the redhead while they were practicing archery, he figured it was a pretty good assumption.

"Gah!" Gimli growled, throwing his hands up in frustration. "Who knows? He doesn't talk to me. Does he think I'm supposed to read his mind? And whenever I ask because I know something's bothering him, he just gets madder at me!"

Kili winced in sympathy. "Legolas doesn't like confrontation," he commented weakly, stomach twisting in knots. He was getting a bad feeling that an ugly break up was on the horizon.

"Well, he's going to have to deal with it whether he likes it or not," Gimli grumbled.

He took a bite of his chicken instead of saying anything else. If a break up was coming, he definitely didn't want to be caught in the crossfire.

Thankfully, lunch ended soon enough and Kili was able to escape any further conversation. Mercifully, the only one in his afternoon classes was Faramir. He, at least, would want to stay as neutral as Kili did. Tauriel had to take Legolas' side, him being her pseudo-brother and all, but Kili just wanted to come out of whatever was going to happen without losing any friends.

Kili bolted from his last class as soon as the bell rang, not bothering to wait for any of his friends let out and instead almost running to the corner where he and Fili always met after school. For once, he beat Fili there.

The blond frowned when he finally walked up. "How'd you get here so quickly? My school is closer."

"I made a quick getaway," Kili explained as they turned towards home.

Fili gave him an understanding look. "Gimli and Legolas fighting again?"

"It's all they do anymore," he whined. "Why do they fight so much? They didn't use to."

Fili shrugged. "I don't know."

"Do relationships always make people fight?" Kili asked in concern.

"I don't think so," he replied thoughtfully. "Dad and Pop don't fight."

Kili rolled his eyes. "They fight."

"Not seriously," Fili protested, bumping their shoulders together. "And they always talk things out afterwards."

"So you think we should get Gimli and Legolas talk it out?"

"I don't think we can make them do anything," Fili said with another shrug.

"What if they break up and aren't friends anymore? What if they make us choose sides?" Kili asked worriedly as they arrived home. "I don't want to lose a friend."

"I don't think either of them would make you choose between them," he assured, opening the front door and stepping inside. "You—"

"Fili?" Thorin called out from the second floor landing, poking his head over the railing. "Can I talk to you up here, please? Alone," he said pointed, giving Kili a look.

"Did you do something?" Kili asked him in a low voice as he closed the door.

"Not that I remember," Fili muttered, climbing up the stairs with a frown.

"Kili!" their dad called from the kitchen. "Can you come in here?"

"Looks like I'm not the only one in trouble," Fili told him with a smirk.

He stuck his tongue out at him before making his way to the kitchen. "I didn't do it!" he protested immediately, causing Bilbo to raise an eyebrow.

"Your guilty conscience is something we can discuss later," he quipped with a shake of his head.

Kili flushed. He had been sure Bilbo had found out about him breaking the desk lamp in the basement. He had tried to put it back together after he took it apart, but he must not have done it right because now it wouldn't turn on. Thankfully, the lamp was very rarely used.

"How are things going with you and Fili?" Bilbo asked.

He furrowed his brow in confusion. "What do you mean? We've been spending time apart like you said…"

"And I think that's been very good for you, but that doesn't mean I don't support the relationship between the two of you," his dad told him.

"We're not in a relationship!" Kili protested, slightly panicked for a reason he couldn't explain.

"I didn't mean a romantic relationship," Bilbo was quick to assure. "But that doesn't mean there isn't a relationship between the two of you, as friends, brothers, or whatever else you want to be."

"What else is there?" he persisted, unclear what this whole conversation was about.

"Well—you know, it doesn't matter. That's not what I wanted to talk to you about," his dad said dismissively. "I wanted to talk you about your sleeping situation."

"I thought you wanted to talk about Fili," Kili said, completely lost now.

Bilbo sighed and leaned against the kitchen island. "This isn't going very well," he muttered to himself before looking at Kili and straightening up. "We need to discuss the fact that you're still sneaking into Fili's bed at night."

"Oh." Kili lowered his gaze to examine the patterns in the granite countertop. He didn't want to talk about this. He didn't want Bilbo to tell him he couldn't do it anymore.

"Can you tell me why you do?" his dad asked.

Kili shrugged, not really knowing what to say.

Bilbo frowned. "Do you have nightmares or feel scared for some reason at night? Is that why?"

He shook his head. "I just like being close to Fili," he muttered.

"I know you do, Kili, but you know it has to stop, right? The both of you are getting too old to be sharing a bed," his dad told him gently. "We probably should've stopped you a long time ago."

Tears welled in his eyes but he blinked them back. "I understand," he said thickly.

He knew he was too old to be sneaking into Fili's bed. It was just… It felt nice to be held by Fili at night. He didn't really want to give that up.

"I know you're upset," Bilbo said, walking around the island and wrapping his arms around him. Kili leant into him and just let himself be held by his dad. "But I promise you'll understand that your pop and I are just trying to do what's best for both of you when you're older."

"I hate it when adults say things like that," Kili sniffed.

His dad chuckled. "So you've told me. But some things you have to learn on your own."

Kili gave him a weak smile as he pulled away. "I'm gonna go do my homework now," he said.

"Okay, but, Kili, I hope you know how much I love you. I'm sorry I have to make you do this," Bilbo told him.

"I know," he stated. "I just… don't want to talk about it anymore, okay?"

Bilbo nodded as Kili turned and fled upstairs. Fili's door was wide open and his room was empty, so Kili assumed that Thorin and he were behind the shut door of their parents' room.

Figuring he might as well get a jumpstart on his algebra homework since Fili was otherwise occupied, he shut himself in his room and got to work. He was just finishing up the last problem when his bathroom door opened and Fili walked in.

"Dad tell you to stop sleeping with me?" Fili asked before making a face and falling back onto Kili's bed.

"Yeah," Kili said, throwing his pencil down and joining Fili on the bed. He curled into the blond's side and hid his face in his neck, smiling as Fili's arms wrapped around him. "I don't wanna."

"It's probably for the best," Fili commented. "I might not like it, but we might be closer than brothers should be."

"You always said we were more than brothers!" he protested, sitting up and glaring at Fili. "Who says how close we should be anyway?"

He was pouting and he knew it, but he didn't really care. Fili coaxed him back down and into his arms.

"We can be close without sharing a bed," he told him. "We were close before when we used to live in different apartments! I think we can survive sleeping in two different rooms."

"Why does everything that is supposed 'good for us' make me spend less time with you?" Kili asked morosely. "How is that a good thing?"

"I don't know, Kee, but how about this," Fili said, pulling away to turn on his side and look at him. "Since tomorrow is Saturday, how about we spend the whole day together? Just you and me?"

"Really?" he said, a grin spreading across his face. "Just you and me?" When Fili nodded, Kili leaped forward to tackle him in to a hug. "Yes!"

Fili laughed and caught him easily, obviously expecting Kili's enthusiasm.

To say Thorin was surprised when Kili bounced into the kitchen bright and early on a Saturday morning was an understatement. When Fili came in not too long after he had settled at the table with his cereal, their pop was downright flummoxed.

"Who are you and what have you done with my sons?" he asked in mock-suspicion.

"We've got big plans for the day," Fili said smugly, giving Kili a wink. He grinned back at him and dug into his Cap'n Crunch with gusto while Thorin looked between them with a raised brow.

"Anything I should know about? As, you know, your parent and all?" he asked sarcastically.

"I was thinking we'd go see a movie, get a late lunch, and then go paintballing. Is that okay?" Fili gave Thorin his most charming smile, which Kili secretly didn't know how anyone could say no to. Their pop, though, didn't look that impressed.

"That seems like a pretty full day," he commented mildly.

"Please, Pop, can we go?" Kili begged.

Finally, Thorin cracked a smile. "As long as you both wear old clothes. No getting paint on your good clothes," he warned.

"We promise!" Kili said, jumping up and putting his bowl in the dishwasher before bolting upstairs to change, Fili right behind him.

Today was going to be the best day ever!

The day definitely didn't disappoint, either.

Kili relished having Fili's attention fixed solely on him. When they went to the movies, he had let Kili pick a seat all the way at the top of the theater in the back row and didn't complain when Kili pushed up the armrest dividing their seats and leaned into his side. It reminded Kili of when they would have sleepovers, before they moved in together, and curl into each other as they stayed up late watching movies.

Back when nobody seemed to think it was odd that the two of them were inseparable.

Kili was happy to note, though, that the other patrons of the movie didn't seem to think they're seating arrangement was that weird. A couple of girls had even smiled at them as they scooted past them to sit a few seats away from them.

Fili grabbed his hand and pulled him up as soon as the credits were rolling, keeping a hold on his hand as he led him out of the theater.

"Food?" he asked with a grin and Kili nodded.

He followed Fili to a Chinese place a couple of blocks away, smiling happily as he noted that Fili hadn't let go of his hand. He didn't normally do that, always careful to not touch Kili too much around people they knew. Kili understood his reasons. Too much touching made people uncomfortable. Legolas and Gimli had taught him that. Still, it was nice to hold hands while they walked.

Lunch was awesome. For the first time in what seemed like forever, they didn't have to share each other with anyone else at a meal. They didn't talk about anything in particular, but it seemed like they talked about everything, sitting and laughing for hours as the lunch crowd thinned out around them and the early dinner crowd started to trickle in.

Fili looked sheepishly at his watch after a while. "I don't think we're going to have enough time to make paintballing," he said apologetically.

"That's okay," Kili replied easily. "We can save that for next time. We should do this more. I like spending time away from home just with you."

"Me too," the blond said with a happy smile. "How about we grab some ice cream before we head home?"

He agreed eagerly, not ready for the day to end yet. They quickly paid for lunch before heading to the ice cream parlor, where Kili insisted he pay.

"You paid for both the movie and lunch," he argued, handing the cashier the money. The girl behind the counter hid a smile before handing him his change. "It's only fair."

"I'm better at saving my allowance than you are," Fili quipped, taking a lick of his mint chocolate cone.

Kili had to tear his eyes away from his lips as he ate his ice cream, feeling hot for some reason. He quickly ate some of his own ice cream to cool off. "I don't see how you can eat that," he said after he found his voice once more. "It tastes like toothpaste."

"Some of us are more adventurous and like ice cream flavors outside of chocolate and vanilla," he shot back with a grin, holding the door open for Kili as they walked out onto the street.

Kili took a big bite of his vanilla cone in response, cringing as he swallowed it too quickly and got a brain freeze. Fili laughed at him, causing him to shoot him a glare. "Not nice," he ground out, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly as his brain finally thawed out.

"Sorry, Kee," he replied, not sounding sorry at all. Kili was mollified, though, when he switched his cone to his other hand and took Kili's hand as they began to walk.

They made it home not long after they finished their ice cream, much to Kili's displeasure.

When they walked in, Bilbo and Thorin were in a deep discussion about the wedding over a pile of various papers and materials in the living room while Frodo watched them looking amused.

"Why do we have to invite him?" Thorin was asking as they snuck up the stairs and into Kili's room. Frodo followed them both soon after.

"Where have you two been?" he asked slyly, jumping onto the bed between them.

"We were just hanging out together," Fili said casually, reaching up and messing Frodo's curls. Kili bit his lip at Fili's answer. It certainly felt like more than "just hanging out." At least it had to him. "I'm going to take a shower."

Kili frowned after him as he left before turning to Frodo and plastering on a smile. "What was all that downstairs about?"

Frodo rolled his eyes. "Pop doesn't want to invite Thranduil to the wedding. I think Dad is winning, though, especially when he mentioned that you'd probably want Tauriel and Legolas around."

He shrugged. "I wouldn't care either way. I mean, Fili'd be there, so I wouldn't be bored."

"True," Frodo agreed before giving Kili a mischievous look. "So with all the wedding stuff, have you thought about what it'd be like if you and Fili get married?"

Kili jerked his head to stare slack-jawed at his little brother. "W-w-what?" he asked once he could speak again.

"You're in love with him, right?" he asked bluntly. "I know you are because you look at him just like Dad looks at Pop."

"Frodo!" Thorin shouted from downstairs. "Get down here and clean up the mess you've made!"

Frodo made a face before scurrying out of the room, leaving a dumbfounded Kili behind him.

He didn't look at Fili any different than he looked at anyone else. Did he? He guessed it was possible because he'd be the first to admit that he loved Fili more than he loved anyone else but that didn't mean anything.

He wasn't in love with Fili, right? He loved Fili, yes, but that was different, wasn't it? People in love wanted to spend every moment together and hold each other and kiss and…

He thought about today and how much he loved being alone with Fili. How much he always wanted to be with him. How upset he was that he couldn't spend every night wrapped in Fili's arms. How much he couldn't stand the thought of Fili loving someone more than him. How happy he'd been just holding hands with Fili today and talking and laughing…

But it wasn't like he wanted to kiss Fili?

But didn't he? He thought back to that one kiss they had shared when they were younger. Well, two, really, but the first one was so bad that it didn't count. The point was, he had enjoyed it. A lot. There had been a few times since then that he had wished he could do it again.

But it wasn't something brothers did. Just like brothers weren't supposed to fall in love with each other.

How had he messed up so badly?

With a start, Kili felt tears slipping from his eyes. Frustrated, he scrubbed his face with his hands vigorously, not wanting to have to explain to Fili when he came back why he was crying.

Because he couldn't tell him that he had realized he was in love with him. Because he wasn't supposed to fall in love with Fili. They were supposed to be brothers!

But he had.

He'd fallen in love with Fili, and he really didn't know what to do about it.

Tbc…