Disclaimer: Stephanie, she can have Edward and all that comes with him since she obviously is in love with him lol. If she hadn't been so prejudiced we might not be writing the fanfictions!

Chapter 21

Once

Edward's skin, the surface a glaze of thousands of tiny diamonds, his eyes golden topaz enamored, enraptured…

Edward's arms wrapped around my waist, his frozen lips caressing mine…

His eyes cold as he left me alone, shattered, wandering blindly in a forest, where all I could see was his face…

He was thin and sickly pale, yet he still gleamed of thousands of tiny diamonds in the sun before an endless sea of red robes and I could not be late...

Edward's embrace wiped away my own tears as I realized I had almost lost him, us, eternity…

"E-edward…" I stuttered as I was pressed against his cool body, now wrapped about mine.

"Bella…" He choked, inhaled deeply and my chest gave way.

I shivered, ensconced in what felt like ice after being drenched in fire. "Edward, w-what?" I was still in shock after the past two days spent in Jacob's sweltering heat.

Edward tensed, rigid against me and suddenly flew backwards through the air in a defying leap. He crashed against the wall with a venomous hiss. Thank God, Charlie was staying the night at Sue's.

I breathed in again and drank in the scent of my sun, my Jacob, that permeated not only my clothes, but my very pores. I cringed, realizing what had caused so violent a reaction in my ex boyfriend. I lifted my ochre gaze to face his accusing topaz orbs fixed on me in nothing short of horror and I stumbled back until I sat upon my bed and braced my hands over the violet comforter. I opened my mouth to speak and tears blurred my vision. He knew. And after all this time, after everything, the sight of Edward's pain still tore deeply at my soul…

His navy button-up shirt and dark pants were slightly haggard, I noticed, his bronze hair disheveled. Had he run the whole way here? And from where?

"You smell like him!" His voice raw with pain and he moaned, "Oh God…" His eyes darted about madly for a moment. His face twisted as though he was uncertain of how to react. He clung to the denial in his voice. "Bella, please tell me—I beg you, please tell me you have not—given yourself to that mongrel!"

"Don't call him that," I hissed. All pity I might have felt for him, fled with his words. My fists clenched into themselves.

Edward rushed to stand before me, hands clasping mine as he bent over closer. His features were dazzling, mesmerizing as ever, though I noticed his effort not to breathe in Jacob's scent clinging to my body. "Forgive me, love."

His jaw clenched with the effort as he allowed himself to draw in air, breathe my scent underlying Jacob's. His long eyelashes fluttered a moment, brow furrowing, before he opened his topaz gaze once again and his grip upon my palms eased.

"I had not intended to dredge up the past between us…" he began.

"Then don't," I interrupted, cringing at the pain in his face. I was surprised that felt I was capable of pity after so much anger. Edward had tried to seduce me once, to change the future Alice could no longer see. He thought making love with me would seal my fate to his and I thought, with a mixture of sorrow and overwhelming thankfulness, it might have.

If there wasn't the memory of him. If I hadn't clung so tightly to Jacob's touch, kisses, look, words, his warmth in my dreams.

"Edward, what are you doing here?"

His eyes darkened, literally fading to black a moment as his grip on my hands tightened, murderous in his fury. "I came to protect you Bella. Grateful as I am to the dogs for saving you, I cannot allow mere children take charge of your life!"

My eyes narrowed. "My life? Edward my life hasn't belonged to you for some time now. Did you forget that? You went to England to forget, didn't you?!"

His fury was replaced by shock. His hands released mine as if my touch burned him. "I left because you wanted me to leave Bella. I thought you despised me. Had I known I had even a chance…"

A fresh wave of determination lit his eyes from within. I cringed, thinking I should have kept my thoughts to myself.

"But I never thought you would keep something like this from me, from us! Bella the Vampires who attacked you would have murdered you, or worse…" he shuddered, "stolen your soul. You have no idea what you are dealing with. You're not as strong as us. The next time they come for you, I promise they will not fail. You cannot honestly believe the wolves will stop them again."

"Why did Seth call you?" I frowned, changing the subject to my obvious vulnerabilities.

Edward froze, his face an emotionless mask. "I made contact with Seth shortly before I discovered you were returning to Forks, Bella."

"What? You asked him to spy on me for you?!" I could not hide my pain at the thought all the moments Seth had stood by my side these past months were connected to Edward. Yet I remembered Victoria, how Seth remained behind with Edward and me, how unlike the rest of the pack Seth's thoughts had been the most pure, his intentions true. Did Seth do it solely for Edward?

"No, not spy, Bella. I asked him to be my eyes, to protect you in ways I could not. And to let me know if anything happened as you seem to continue to remain a danger magnet." His voice barely hinted his irritation at my anger.

I held back my wild emotions, hid behind the mask he had, in a way, taught me. "Why stay in London when you could have followed me to Forks?" My words thick with sarcasm, as I lashed my frustrations on my former fiancee. His mouth turned up in the half smirk I had once found so endearing.

"Bella, did you really believe I could forget you wherever I fled? Wherever I went, your face, your voice, your scent remained with me. You are ingrained in my very soul, Bella, no matter who you choose. I cannot erase my feelings, any more than you can yours for the dog." The last he ground bitterly, cynically as the Edward I had heard the Cullens mention of, but never truly known myself. He sat down upon the rocking chair that had been in my room since my birth, his face pensive.

"When Seth called me I told Carlisle," he said. "We've been frantic ever since. Mostly because Carlisle does not believe the Volturi were responsible for what happened. Bella, you have to tell me everything that happened, everything that was said and done. The wolves keep watch. Their patrols are farther than before and more attuned. I barely managed to sneak in here without them catching my scent. But Seth said there were three that escaped. Faster than any he had seen, even me.

Carlisle said there is no logic in this attack. If Aro had been that interested in you, he would have brought you to Volterra, or extended an invitation in person, instead of murdering Renee and leaving you to slowly turn in an alley. He told Carlisle orders were given to check on you and be certain you were turned. But he had no knowledge of anything after that. Carlisle does not doubt his words."

"Carlisle talked to Aro?!" Panic at the thought of the red eyed monsters who haunted my dreams, austere and coldhearted.

"Yes." Edward moved to my bed, sat at the end of it, his eyes pleading. "Carlisle said something else Bella. That Aro actually sounded afraid when Carlisle described your change, and the attack. He's hiding something, but that isn't the most disturbing truth." He shuddered, an amusing sight, for a supernatural creature whose body felt frozen to the human touch.

Fear and terror flooded my mind along with the images of both nights. And so I told him everything. The odd attacks on animals and people in the woods and the packs reluctance to tell me their fears. Of the strong hands that grasped my neck in the alley I turned and the deep velvet voice, speaking as I watched familiar faces in a sea of unfamiliar dark robed figures.

"And I am afraid, my dear, I cannot let you go now that I have you."

Edward's expression was mercurial, from fury and outrage, to fear and loathing, to curiosity and determination. By the end, I was trembling from the upheaval of emotion. Edward's thumbs were making slow circles over my hands. I indulged in the small comfort, conscious of how Jacob's face continued to play through my thoughts.

He let go of my hands to pace again soon after with movements to fast for the human eye to see, but relatively normal to mine. "I have to tell Carlisle…" he spoke low. "There is more to this than we thought," he said, turning his fierce gaze upon mine. "Bella I promise you I will not rest until I have discovered the truth. If this Vampire is as old as the Volturi elders, there may be more at stake than even your life…" He frowned, but did not continue his thoughts. "You must come home with me until it is safe again."

His hand was upon mine.

I jerked it from his grasp. "No! I can't just leave like this Edward!"

Pain and anger filled his golden orbs. "Why? You're not safe here."

"Charlie's getting married in three day,s Edward. I'm not leaving."

We glared back at one another for a moment that felt an eternity until the hard lines of his face seemed to soften.

"Fine. But the moment the wedding is over I need you to promise me you'll come. Just for a little while until we can figure this out."

I cringed.

"Bella please. Are you willing to endanger his life too?"

I froze. Rain that fell as ice hit the glass of my window. The clock downstairs ticked away the minutes, the hours that were so meaningless to me in contrast to the eternal life I was damned. I longed to be fully human, to treasure each second of life as it was intended.

"Bella?"

"Alright. Give me a week." I shut my eyes, wondering how I was going to explain this to Charlie, to Jacob…

I had told Sue I was only staying for the wedding. I could use that as my excuse. Say the Cullens had moved and needed my help sorting through things anyway. I frowned as I remembered Edward's earlier statement, fear of Jacob's reaction pushed aside. "Why did Rose say they moved to Canada? What happened?"

Edward's eyes darkened. "Emmett slipped. She was a singer."

My heart broke. I knew how tortured Emmett must feel. If I had known, I might have left, if only to see my brother, to help him.

"Fortunately, we already had a cottage down south and no one was suspicious. It's only a couple of hours away from Forks actually."

No one was suspicious. The weight of my thoughts struck me deeply. No one would ever find Renee's murderer either…

"Can—can you be sure to have Esme send me directions?"

Edward nodded. "Of course."

Murderer…

I had to change the subject or I knew the screaming hole in my chest would demand to be satisfied. I could not face the consequences of what my train of thought would bring. "Are you going back to London soon?"

"No. Not until this matter is settled."

"Did you—did you enjoy Oxford?"

"In a way." Edward moved to sit beside me so our backs were against the base of my bed. And I remembered all the other countless nights we had shared like this one, talking into the night. When our cares had been far simpler. "I enjoyed the atmosphere, far more sophisticated than nearly anything in America."

"Did you make friends?" I knew Edward's control of his thirst was second only to Carlisle. I was an exception to the rule, of course. I wondered if my blood still sang for him?

He glanced at me. "Not exactly. Not that there weren't plenty of people who tried. I transferred to Edinborough in the summer. And the weather up there is much more accommodating after all."

"What about the…the women?" I wondered at the curious frown on his face, as though he were reluctant, or confused himself.

"None can compare to you Bella. I cannot change my heart." He turned his face to mine and we were only inches apart. His features were perfect, desirable. Yet he was cold to the touch even now. He was the moon, cold and distant, unattainable…

His expression suddenly changed as he continued, "Alice wanted me to tell you hello by the way. She wants to apologize to you about things in person, but did mention you're going to forgive her eventually." He laughed lightly. "She'll be glad to see you again…we all will. Bella, won't you come now?"

I sat up and frowned. "No. This isn't a good time Edward."

"It's because of that dog isn't it?" His voice, often smooth as velvet, lowered to a rough hiss.

I could not meet his eye. His hand was upon my cheek and my eyes widened in surprise and fear.

"Then I shall wait, love. Remember your promise. Three days, or I come back for you. Remember this isn't only your life at stake."

He smiled, pressing a finger to the small crease between my brows, nearly hidden beneath Vampire beauty, yet perfectly visible to his perfect eyes.

"I love you," he whispered and then I felt a blast of winter wind, saw my open window and he was gone. My eyes lifted to the clouded heavens, the full moon hidden by thick black clouds.

Review: I'm sure many of you are wondering wtf? But hang in there. Things are not always what they may seem.

Thanks to everyone who has written amazing, beyond flattering or worthy reviews about FD lol. Questions will continue to be answered, opinions are welcome and criticism, always valued and considered. Keep reading and dreaming of our Jacob! I know I will tonight! ;)