DEADLY MISTAKE
****THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION! I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS, THEY BELONG TO EL JAMES. THE STORY LINE DETAILS BELONG TO ME***
Chapter 21
(C POV)
I was finally admitted and being prepared for the surgery. My family decided all to come down at the same time, even though I insisted they can come by later. Ana has not left my sight for one moment. I can see the mask of bravery she is deeply trying to hold on to, but I can see right through her. I have so many things I want to tell her just in case, but on the other hand, I don't want to put any negativity inside her head. When I was in my office last night pretending to work, I was actually writing a letter to every family member in case the worst happens. I only informed Taylor of these letters and he promised to hold for safe keeping and give them to each person in the case it was necessary. Talking to Taylor was difficult last night. We are not accustomed in deep emotional conversations. I wanted him to let him know that he was more than just my personal security, but I considered him and Gail, even Sawyer, as family. Talk about seeing a shocked look. He promised to watch over my family and making me proud.
Discussion with Carrick
I did have a discussion with everyone individually the night before. That was one of the most emotional days of my life. I decided to speak with my father first. I thanked him for everything and never giving up on me and loving me unconditionally. I let him know that he was the best father anyone could ask for. My dad had embraced me without any boundaries and reminded me that he still wasn't giving up on me. He told me that he was more than sure that everything would work out, but not to worry if things did not happen as we hoped, because he would always look over Ana. My father and I held each other silently and aware that we were saying more to each other how we felt this way, than with words itself.
Discussion with Elliot
Speaking to my mom and Ana would be the most emotional, so I decided they would be last. I am used to Elliot always being cheerful and trying his hardest on pissing me off. The Elliot in front of me with this serious and heart breaking face, is too hard to talk to. We both just hugged without saying a word. He finally told me that he loved me so much that not to worry about my car collection because he would be careful driving them every day. The days when Kate was too much to handle, he would come see Ana and making sure she was being taken care in every way and winking at me the same time. I punched him in the arm hard because I informed him that Kate was always too much to handle, so Ana would never be alone! He had suddenly stopped joking around and told me he loved me and that Ana would always be cared for and not to worry. He suddenly hugged me again and started pretending to look for my wallet needing some gas money because he was mapping out the scenic drive he had planned and the frequent trips with Ana.
Discussion with Mia
Speaking to Mia was as if I was on an emotional roller coaster. I reminded her that from the moment I first saw her, I knew I loved her with all my heart and would always protect her throughout her life. I thanked her for bringing me out of my shell and always loving me unconditionally. She cried a lot when she was informing me of the love she felt for me. She reminded me that Ana was her sister and she always looked out for her family. Mia had me crying and laughing throughout our conversation. I told her she had an attention span of a child with ADD, which I recommended that she got tested as soon as possible due to the fact her conversation was jumping in every direction, making me want to write notes or something so I could figure out later what the hell she was talking about. She pretended to pout and then we gave each other a long hug and not saying a word knowing that our hug would silently give us the strength and hope we all desperately needed.
Discussion with Kate
I even had a conversation when Kate. I may not get along with her at times, okay that is an understatement, but she is part of my family now. Kate wasn't in her feisty mood towards me and I found myself wishing she would start acting that way so it wouldn't be so awkward between us. I was stunned when she starting crying and just kept looking down the whole time. When she got a little control of her voice she told me that she was sorry for always being a bitch towards me, even if she knew I deserved it most times and unable to hold back the smirk. She thanked me for making her sister/best friend extremely happy. She has known Ana for many years and the moment she met me, she became a different person but in a good way.
I apologized for all the stupid things I had ever done to Ana and I was glad she had someone watching out for her. I didn't want to go into detail the day Ana confessed her true thoughts, but not in so many words I asked Kate to always watch over Ana and always making sure Ana is handling everything clearly and using the right judgment at all times, especially when she is alone. I needed Kate to pay attention to her hidden emotions and always stay one step ahead of her. I encouraged, with a broken but much necessary heart, to help Ana move on when she was ready and not to suffer being on her own.
Kate being Kate understood what I was trying to get across and broke down again. She knew and understood Ana probably more than myself, and she knew Ana would already be preparing herself for the heartbreak that she knew it would be almost impossible for her to live through. She promised me that she would never allow Ana to go that route and remind her of my promise, which I never admitted to, but Kate knows me just as well. We actually hugged for a long period of time and I remembered to thank her for making Elliot happy and changing his whorish ways after all these years. I couldn't hold back my smirk. She said I wasn't one to talk due to my stalking tendencies and controlling behavior. She got up and started heading out saying she needed to speak with Ms. Steele about this article she read last night about the signs to look for to see if you are in a relationship with a stalking/controlling husband or boyfriend. She winks back at me before she leaves, having me laughing alone in the room.
Discussion with Grace
I had taken a short break hanging out with everyone before I invited my mother to the other room. We sat there holding hands in the balcony from her bedroom enjoying the gorgeous view. My mother starting talking about our journey from the moment I arrived into her life. She told me the day we met was a blessing in disguise in every way possible. The day I arrived at the hospital was actually her day off, but decided to cover for a friend at the last minute, leaving Carrick at home with a sick Elliot. She told me how she called Carrick an hour after I arrived and informing him that she wanted to start the process of adopting another son.
She admits how difficult the beginning was for all of us, especially during my teenage years, but she would go through every second of those moments in a heartbeat. She told me how proud she was of all my success, but she was most proud of finding one of the best daughters in laws possible. I pulled her into a strong hug and we held each other crying. I apologized, even when she tried stopping me, for the hardship I have ever caused, especially when it came to Elena. I thanked her for never giving up on me and giving me a second chance in life.
She promised to always keep an eye on Ana. She admitted seeing the all the signs Ana was trying to hide from everyone. She found Dr. Flynn in the living room the night she decided she was going to leave a note in my office that we needed to talk in private. She was proud on how we handled everything on our own. She also has a feeling that we both are hiding something from her, but assumes it was too private of a moment and if it was something we couldn't have handled, she knows that we would have contacted her. I now realize how observant she always has been and it makes me curious if she knew more about Elena, but starting doubting herself, trusting my deceitfulness throughout the years, making me feel like crap once again. She than gives me a stern look and without one word telling me that I better stop at this moment, only making me smile as if I was a child once again.
Discussion with Ana
I was finally alone with Ana at our own home. Spending time with the family has been great, but we now needed this time alone. I could tell that she was looking forward to our time alone, but I also saw the internal tension it was causing her. I served us a glass of white wine and asked her to join me on the sofa. I don't think either of us knew what to say at this point. I wanted to make love to Ana more than anything, but right now was not the moment. Ana started talking about any and everything, I guess she just wanted to relieve the stress and worry we were both experiencing.
Somehow she had me speaking about everything I have been rushing on getting prepared. This time around Ana was able to handle it much better. She asked me if I was a little concerned that she may end up bankrupting my company and sell everything instead of buying. I see her trying not to smile, but failing miserably. I remind that I have taught her well and she was almost as good as I, which was impressive due to short period of training. In reality I now had my back up when Ros decides to retire or when Ros and I had to go out of town at the same time. She told me after we negotiated the terms of her income and percentage of the company, maybe then she would think about it, as well as, making sure that she has an office on a different floor, better yet, in a different building. Ana was concerned that we may end up fucking all day instead of working, than I would for sure go bankrupt, but I told her it would be totally worth it.
Ana asked me if I remembered to speak to Gail and my other employees as well, which of course I did. I notice her double checking almost everything I did, which I understood due to do the memory lapse at times. It was hilarious at times watching Ana trying to hide the fact on what she was doing, thinking I would get upset.
I noticed she would ask Taylor for some assistance at times. I remember noticing Taylor's internal debate with himself while he was driving me to the office. Taylor knew that if he didn't follow her orders, Ana would not hold back on giving him a piece of her mind. On the other, he was afraid of the betrayal that I may feel for following those orders behind my back. I am more than sure the "old Christian" would have been beyond upset, due to not wanting to look weak and not in control. When we stepped out of the vehicle I turned to Taylor unexpectedly, catching him off guard.
"Just go with what she says and trust her as you trust me." I inform him with a smirk knowing that I caught him off guard.
"Yes Sir" Taylor responds trying to look serious but only to be successfully failing.
I only witness the love and devotion she has towards me and our marriage. I kissed her head and told her thank you for loving and putting up with all my fifty shades. She said she loves me unconditionally, even though she may have been tempted on kicking my ass at times, but for future references, if the time comes and she accidentally puts me on my ass again, she wants me to always remember that it was out of love and nothing else. She said the response I would give every time it occurred would be:
"But I love her officer and she said that it wouldn't happen again."
We laughed so hard that I started tickling her and wouldn't stop and out of nowhere she began doing the same to me and had me laughing uncontrollably and trying to get away unsuccessfully. She finally stops and just looks at me without saying a word and I go to her thinking I did something wrong. She makes me aware of this being the first time in my life that I allowed anyone to do that and then we just hold each other on another first.
Now we find ourselves thinking what charm we should get. She told me she was still scared of losing me, but with me being so hard headed, she had a great feeling everything would turn out fine. She brought up our promise on her own, and would do everything in her power to never go back on that promise, even if it meant having Dr. Flynn and his family move in. I love how her crazy mind works.
I start telling her how much I love and care for her, to the point I start crying from the fear of leaving her or her leaving me someday when it would be her time. She pulls me into a tight embrace allowing me to cry and letting me know everything will be fine. I was supposed to be comforting her, not the other way around. I have realized from the moment she fell into my office, that even though I was helping her up, it truly was the other way around. She helped and changed me into the person I am today with the one touch of thinking I was helping her, when in fact it was the other way around.
We had a combination of both that night in our bedroom. It was one of our best and sweetest since the day I first made love to her. How I got so lucky, I will never comprehend. I just know that I am truly the most blessed man alive and I intend to stay that way. We finally fell asleep spooning and me staying in my favorite place in the world, deep inside her all night with my arms wrapped around her, as well as, nightmare- free. Before falling asleep I remember thinking if I had to die, I would want to go this way. I know she would say that was even too perverted or freaky for my fifty shades of grey, but that it was sweet as well.