Nightwing stared at the door where moments before Raven stood and rebuked him. His face was expressionless and what she had said before leaving slowly began to sink in. He picked up his towel and slung it over his shoulder as he made his way to the door.
"Yeah, I know, I fucked up … I'm sorry." He mumbled to himself as he trudged back to his room. As he walked down the hallway he ran into Cyborg. The Tin Man looked mortified. Grayson glared at him.
"I hope you're happy." Nightwing seethed.
"Hey, I didn't screw Raven … you did."
"I know, it was a stupid, boneheaded mistake. Why do you think we kept it a secret? Now, thanks to your stupid serum a lot of lives were ruined."
"How was I supposed to know you and Raven were covering up something like that?"
"Forget it, what's done is done … so, did Star really leave?"
"Yeah, she isn't in the Tower, and neither is B. I don't think he's ever gonna come back."
Grayson snorted. "He'll be back. The Doom Patrol disowned him, remember. And he does love her."
"He does, but he's hurt, man; he's in pain."
"He'll get over it and when he realizes he's got no one else, he'll come crawling back to her."
Cyborg shook his head. "You don't know him."
"And I suppose that you do?"
"Actually, yeah; I do. And that was your problem; you never took any time to get to know us … well, except for the ladies."
Grayson frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Cyborg scowled back at him. "Why don't you figure it out? You were trained by the "world's greatest detective" after all, and speaking of which, he's on hold, waiting to talk to you."
Grayson felt icy fingers run down his spine. "Batman's on hold?"
"Yeah, along with the new Robin. And some old Brit butler geezer and he looks really pissed too."
"Great." Grayson muttered under his breath as he pushed his way past Cyborg. "Now even Alfred hates me."
Nightwing dashed into his office and flipped open the video phone. The first thing he saw was what looked like a 12 year old in a Robin costume.
"Who the hell are you? And where's Tim?"
The boy snickered before he grinned. "You are clueless."
"This is Master Damien Wayne." Alfred's voice interjected. "Master Tim has gone his own way, much like you did. He is now known as the Red Robin."
Nightwing did a double take at the kid in the Robin costume, which was very similar to the one he wore when he founded the Titans.
"Damian Wayne? What the hell are you talking about? Bruce doesn't have any nephews or kids of his own."
"Actually, I do. Damian is my son." Bruce came in the camera's view.
"Your son? Since when do you have a son? Wait … don't tell me that you and Selina …"
"Don't be stupid, Grayson, even if it does suit you. Catwoman is not my mother." Robin sneered.
The kid's insolence was getting to him. "So if isn't Selina, who the hell is your mother?"
"Talia is his mother." Bruce interrupted.
Nightwing became slack jawed. "Talia? You mean Talia al Ghul? Ra's al Ghul's daughter? What the hell, Bruce? How come I'm just learning about this?"
Bruce's stern face filled the screen. "Maybe if you stayed in touch you'd know about this, but that's not why I called."
Nightwing face palmed. "Spare me, Bruce. I don't need a morality lecture from you."
"Be quiet, lad. You've caused enough grief as it is." Alfred reprimanded him in a curt and clipped tone.
"Like either of you are angels. Who do you think I watched to learn how to deal with the ladies?"
"There is an unspoken rule among gentlemen, Dick. You don't mess around with your friend's woman, not even if she asks for it." Bruce replied in a deadpan.
"Yes, I know, you don't have to tell me. I screwed up."
"You did more than screw up. You destroyed your marriage and now Raven and Beast Boy's future marriage is in jeopardy."
"He'll come back to her, he always does."
"And if he doesn't, then what?" Damian interjected.
"Master Richard, you are going to get on your knees and beg your friend for his forgiveness and convince him to forgive his fiancée as well. And you will accept, with a smile, whatever punishment he sees fit for you."
"Now wait a minute!"
"Dick, if Logan's friendship means anything to you at all, you will do exactly as Alfred instructed you."
"You gotta be kidding? You actually expect me to kowtow to a loser like him? Bruce, he's lucky she likes him at all. If he's stupid enough to throw her away …"
"Will you shut up for once and listen!?"
Nightwing scowled at his old mentor. "No … I'm sick of you. You think you know everything, Bruce; but you don't! Why do you think I left the first time?"
Bruce crossed his massive arms. "I let you go, hoping that you might grow. And when you started the Titans I thought that had happened. But now I see that I was wrong. So you want to go your own way, do you? Fine, but this time you won't have my help. I helped you with money to get the Titans going, but not this time. I'm cutting you off, for good."
"I don't need your damn money; I still have the insurance money my parents left me."
"Good, because you'll never get another penny from me."
"Suits me fine … so are we done talking, or is there something else you want to tell me?"
Bruce's face became as hard as tungsten steel.
"Goodbye, Dick."
The connection was severed.
-( - )-
Nightwing stormed out of his office and almost ran into Kid Flash.
"You look like you're in a hurry."
Grayson gave him a blank look. "I'm going out on patrol … alone."
"But we don't patrol without a buddy, you made that rule yourself."
"I said I'm going out alone."
Wally raised his hands in mock surrender. "Fine, whatever, you're the boss."
Dick stormed off into the garage. He mounted his motorcycle and took off, vanishing into the rush hour traffic outside. He rode into downtown, where he parked his bike in a dark alley and using a grappling hook gun he climbed to the top of the tallest building, which happened to be the local branch of Sivana Industries. Upon reaching the top he crouched, where he remained until the sun set on the city.
The city, even though it was a kinetic sculpture of lights, felt empty to him. He was suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of loneliness as the bitter truth of his situation finally became real to him.
She was gone and would never come back.
Nightwing fell back, landing on his butt. He began to weep, bitter tears sliding down his face, as he choked back his sobs.
"Starfire …" He whimpered, before he resumed crying.
"How pathetic … I'm ashamed of you." A familiar baritone interrupted.
Recognizing the voice, Nightwing leaped to his feet and spun around.
"Slade!"
His arch-nemesis stood in a non threatening pose. "You should be ashamed of yourself, pining for a woman. What did I ever see in you, my former apprentice?"
"What do you want, Slade?"
The one eyed villain folded his arms behind his back and slowly paced around the rooftop.
"So … is it true?"
"What are you talking about, Slade?"
"Don't clever, boy; you know perfectly well what I mean."
"Do I?"
"Yes … you do. You have accomplished, in a single moment of carnal passion, what I could not do all these years … you destroyed your team. The changeling and the princess have abandoned you, and Raven will be soon to follow … well done, my apprentice, well done. You have demonstrated that it's not how hard you hit; it's where you hit that matters, and hit you have. The Titans are finished … how does it feel, Nightwing?"
"Why are you here, Slade?"
"You spoke with your mentor as well, didn't you? The message was encrypted, so I couldn't eavesdrop, but I didn't need to. I'm certain that the Bat is unhappy with you … let me guess, Nightwing; you had a falling out with him, am I correct?"
"It's none of your business, Slade."
"Oh, I disagree, vehemently."
"That's a surprise."
Slade approached the masked Titan, who adopted a fighting stance.
"Relax, boy; I didn't come here to fight with you."
"You haven't answered me. Why are you here?"
"Think about it." He droned in his monotone. "You have alienated your friends. Your wife has abandoned you, and your friends hate you for what you did."
"She's just as much to blame."
"Women always are, but that's irrelevant."
"Then what is your point?"
"My point, my former apprentice, is that you have burned all your bridges. It is only a matter of time until you are cast out of the team you founded. Remember when I told you that your friends were worthless, don't you? Well, I have been vindicated. They have turned their backs on you, and this time there will be no forgiveness or any reconciliation. They will soon demand that you resign, not only as their leader, but also as a Titan. You, my dear boy, are on your own."
"I'm losing my patience, get to the point, Slade, before I kick your ass."
Slade chuckled. "Without your friends to help you? I don't think so. But I will level with you boy … I'm here to make you an offer."
"What are you talking about?" Grayson's voice trembled.
"You already know, but I will spell it out for you, just so there is no room for any misunderstanding. Your friends have abandoned you … but I will give you another chance."
A look of sheer disgust appeared on Nightwing's masked face. "If you think I'll come back and work with you …"
"Not with me; for me, at least until your apprenticeship is complete."
"No. Way. You expect me to become a criminal, of my own free will?"
"What other choice do you have?"
"I have options!"
Slade laughed. "You mean like moving to Blüdhaven and chasing after petty thieves? Is that how far you have fallen? And yes, I know about Blüdhaven, I know that you've been scoping it out for some time, another city to save from itself, another hopeless cause like Gotham City. Maybe you're thinking of convincing Batgirl to join you there, but she won't … you're damaged goods. No one in the hero community will have anything to do with you from now on."
"I'd rather be alone than be a criminal like you!"
Slade waved his hand dismissively. "As you wish. I hope you find great meaning and fulfillment in busting pickpockets and pimps … farewell, my former apprentice."
Slade walked away, and after taking several steps he stopped.
"One last question … was she good? Was having coitus with her worth losing everything that was precious to you?"
Grayson threw a bird-a-rang in Slade's direction. It didn't find its target, as he had already vanished into the shadows.
-( - )-
The next day …
Steve Dunn handed Raven a steaming cup of herbal tea. She sighed unhappily after taking a small sip.
"I'm sorry this happened to you."
"I blew it. The wedding … everything … it's over."
"I know how much this all meant to you, but you have to remember that he doesn't define you. You are your own person."
She shook her head. "No … you're wrong."
"Raven, you need to accept that you might have lost him for good. But that doesn't mean life won't go on. You'll recover from this."
She shook her head. "No, you don't get it … Steve; I'm not just a girl who happens to have gray skin and purple hair. You know what I am. I'm never going to find someone else who can put up with what I am."
"Raven, you aren't damaged goods."
"Are you serious? Do you really believe that load of crap you just said? Steve, I was born damaged goods. I'm half demon. It doesn't matter how much I've come to terms with that or much I control it. I'm not like other girls. Who in his right mind would want me?"
"Garfield certainly did."
"He was the exception, the one in a million or maybe one in a billion. And I lost him."
"Raven, you need to let him go …"
"That's easy for you to say! You've been happily married for over thirty years! What would you understand? How could you possibly understand what it's like to be me? I'm supposed to let him go? You might as well tell me to stop breathing."
"Raven, I'm not saying that he won't come back. Maybe he will, but if he doesn't, you can't spend the rest of your life waiting for him."
Raven rose to her feet and began to pace around the room.
"I'm sorry, Steve; I'm wasting your time. I'll deal with this in my own way."
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"What else? I'm going to find him."
"But he wants to be alone now."
"I don't care. I'm going to find him."
"And what will you do when you do find him?"
She stopped moving and stared at the floor.
"I have no idea. Good bye Steve, I know you meant well, but this time you can't help me."
One of her dark hemispheres appeared and after a loud hum she was gone. Steve picked up her unfinished mug of tea and sighed.
-( - )-
"So what is this meeting about?" Jinx asked Raven.
"I have no idea … I didn't ask him."
"Raven, I know that what happened between you guys was really crappy, but you can't just stop talking with Nightwing; he's our leader."
"Wanna bet?"
Nightwing stomped into the conference room, with a grim look on his face. "I have news."
"It'd better be good news, I'm sick of all the bad news." Jinx crossed her arms and frowned.
Nightwing shuffled on his feet before replying. "You'll have to be the judge of that."
"So?"
Grayson placed his palm on the table, leaning on it. "Effective today I'm resigning both as your leader and as a Titan."
"What?" Cyborg shrieked.
A glimmer of regret flashed across Nightwing's face. "I'm sorry, but after everything that has happened I can no longer in good conscience serve on this team."
"This has to be a joke. We already lost Starfire, and B might not come back. If you quit …"
"I'm sorry, Cyborg. Perhaps I'm taking the easy way out."
"He's right, he should leave." Kid Flash interjected. Jinx gave him a surprised look.
"I'll leave sometime tonight … but before I go, I just want to tell all of you that I'm sorry … especially you, Raven."
The sorceress's face remained expressionless and she did not reply.
"If I could undo what happened that night, I would. And for the record, I think Garfield is an idiot for dwelling on that, but in the end, the responsibility for what happened lies with me."
He paused and looked around the room. Judging by the looks on their faces, he knew it was over.
"So … I'll give my last order as your leader … dismissed."
He turned around and without saying goodbye he walked out of the room. An hour later Cyborg, with his bionic eye, saw him on his motorcycle crossing the bay bridge.
He never returned to the Tower.
-( - )-
Cyborg made the nightly rounds, verifying that the Tower was secure before shutting it down for the night, until he bumped into Raven, who was carrying a knapsack on her back.
"And just where are you going?" He asked in a stern voice.
"Do you even need to ask?"
The tin man sighed. "Raven, I don't think it's a good idea to go after him now. He needs to work this all out, and he can't do that if you're there. What do you expect to accomplish, anyway?"
"I'm going to beg him to take me back."
"Raven … be patient … it's too soon."
"I don't agree, and you know what? Your advice sucks!"
Raven transformed into one of her black birds and phased through a wall, vanishing into the night. Cyborg slowly and sadly shook his head, then armed the alarm system and headed off to his room.
-( - )-
About a month later …
Raven kneeled over to wash her hair in the forest stream. She was attired only in her underwear and the two leotards she packed in her knapsack were hanging from a nearby branch were she left them drying overnight.
The forest was the first place she chose to search for him and as soon as he arrived she sensed his presence. That was when her wild goose chase began. After almost thirty days there was still no sign of him, though she felt his aura constantly, and today it felt especially strong.
Raven quickly dressed and ate a meager breakfast of raspberries she had scrounged from some bushes. There were no bathroom scales in the forest, but it was more than obvious that she had lost weight, judging by how loose her leotard had become. She had run out of the rations she packed two weeks ago, but refused to desist in her search and return empty handed to the Tower.
Today his aura was so strong that she could pinpoint its direction. She quickly packed her knapsack and levitated above the tree canopy. The aura was coming out of a small mountain range in the national park. Her heart sank as it would be hard work to comb through that section of the forest, but she took off anyway. To her delight as she approached the range she could sense him even more. He was feeling sad and melancholic. She, on the other hand, felt her heart begin to pound in anticipation.
She flew into the mountain range, zig zagging between peaks. His presence felt so strong that she felt as if she could reach out and touch him. As she flew around another mountain she saw it, a cliff that was almost unclimbable. She remembered when the National Park service closed it off to rock climbers after a rash of fatal falls. It made sense now, that's where he had to be.
She reached the giant stone wall and flew straight up like an old Saturn V rocket climbing to the heavens. Her heart continued to pound with excitement, she could almost taste his psychic presence.
She reached top of the cliff and stifled a gasp when she saw the scene before her. It was a small, hidden valley of such pure and unadulterated beauty that she paused and levitated while she marveled at the sight before her. For a moment she forgot why she was even there, that is until she saw him, not too far from the small lake in the middle of the valley. She took off like a missile towards him. He didn't see her until she landed before him. He raised his head and had an astonished look on his face.
"Raven?"
"Gar."
He was sitting in front of a campfire that had a small pot on it. He got up. "You look awful."
"I … I've been roughing it." She stammered.
He looked up and down her emaciated figure. "When was the last time you ate?"
"I just ate breakfast."
"Really? And what exactly did you eat?"
"Uh … some raspberries I found."
He shook his head. "You've lost a lot of weight … sit down." He gestured at a spot on the grass.
She complied and he returned to his pot, from which he scooped several helpings of oatmeal into a large metal bowl. He sprinkled some brown sugar and cinnamon on it before handing it to her.
"Gar, I didn't come here for breakfast."
"I know. Eat first … then we'll talk."
She looked down at the bowl and sniffed it. It was true, she was famished and she quickly devoured the huge bowl, which he took from her when she was done.
"Thank you. I guess I just ate your breakfast."
"No problem. I can make some more later, after we talk."
She nodded. "This is a nice place. You never told me about it."
"It's my secret place, I place where go when I want to be alone and think about stuff."
"I … uh … what have you been thinking about?" She asked with a hint of trepidation in her voice.
"I've been thinking about us." He replied as he poked at the embers in the campfire with a stick. "How long have you been looking for me?"
"Almost a month." Her tears began to drip. "Gar … I'm so sorry." Her voice trembled.
He nodded. "I know you are … and I forgive you."
"You do?"
"I do … and I forgive Jill for leaving me too."
Raven's heart sank. "Gar, I don't understand. What does Jill have to do with us?"
He pursed his lips before continuing. "Being out here made me realize that carrying a grudge doesn't do any good … you have to let it go to be free."
"I see." She murmured.
He sat up straight and made eye contact with her. "You came here to ask me to come back with you."
"Gar … I don't expect us to pick up where we left off … we can start over, from the beginning."
A sad expression appeared on his face and he shook his head. "Raven … I'm sorry, but that's not going to happen."
She scrambled to him and knelt down, taking his hand. "You know that I'll I never do that again. I swear by Azar that I'll always be faithful to you."
He gently pulled his hand away. "That's the problem, you see, I really don't know that won't happen again. Raven … I've been struggling with this for days. I still love you, but … I … I don't know that I can trust you anymore."
"You can! You can trust me! I've changed, Gar, you know that I have."
"Yes, I know you have. But you have to understand … from now on there will always be a lingering doubt in the back of my mind … and I know it will never go away. Don't you see Raven? I'll always wonder if there's someone else you run to when we have a fight."
"But there won't be!" She clenched her fists as she shouted. She then dropped to her knees. "Gar, right now, from now on I swear to forsake all others."
He shook his head. "It doesn't matter what you promise. Please understand, it's not you … it's me. I can't trust again you because of my own shortcomings."
She took his hand again. "Then let's work on them together. We can make this work, I know we can."
He withdrew his hand a second time. "I can't. I'm sorry Raven, I know I'm being unreasonable, but I have to be true to myself."
She sat back down on the meadow. "So … that's it … everything that we went through and shared means nothing to you?"
"I never said that. But our relationship's been damaged beyond repair. I hope that we can still be friends, Raven, and I'm not saying that, I really mean it."
She stood up and began to walk away.
"Raven?"
She turned around to face him. The look he saw on her face was one that would haunt him for the rest of his life, as she looked utterly destroyed.
"Good bye, Garfield." She resumed walking away and stopped a second time.
"I'll always love you … have a good life." Her voice warbled.
She began to sob and became airborne, flying away at breakneck speed. Beast Boy sat down, cradled his face in his palms, and began to weep.
-( - )-
Things are looking grim for everyone.