Nowhere is Safe: Edward Elric and the Order of the Phoenix

by GrievingAngel

A/N: My, my, I'm almost afraid I've made you guys like Lust too much. Just food for thought…

Oh, and BTW, I made art of the Dementor's Kiss scene on my deviantART ptofile, AngelG93. Plz go check it out. ^_^

And, and! I finally finished that illustration project that's been consuming the past two years of my life! YAYAYAYAYAY! This means I'll have more time from now on to write! Double YAYAYAYAYAY!

REVIEW RESPONSE TIME:

marichan96: Thanks for bringing up the Patronus. It didn't consistently have a corporeal form, so it mostly looked like white mist. Also, Al was only half-conscious when he saw it. Put together, Al didn't even recognize anything special about the Patronus.

Chapter 21

Trust

"But, why?" Ed demanded as the corners of his eyes began to sting with hot tears. "Why would you make me do that?"

"It will give me almost equal control over him as I do over you," said Father plainly. "If your safety is at stake, he will surely comply with any future demands I make. He's such a sensible boy, after all."

Ed hung his head; he would not let the Homunculus see him cry. Doing his best to hold in the tears, he found himself asking a strange question. "How could… something as sick and twisted as you… have ever… ever been created… from my dad?"

"Every human has their dark side," Father mused, patting the top of Ed's head like he had when they'd first met. "I just managed to free myself." As Father stood, the other Homunculi reentered, back in their human disguises. "He has his new orders," he concluded. "All of you should return to the school now."

"Yes, Father," Selim answered dutifully.

Solaris sat next to Ed and placed a soothing hand on his trembling back. A leeching, selfish vixen she might be, but at least she seemed capable of feeling his pain. Because of that sense of understanding, Ed didn't feel guilty as she half-cradled him in her smooth arms and the numbing serenity traveled from her skin into his. Through his heaving breaths, he could hear her trying to quiet him. "Shh, it's all right. You've been through a lot tonight. You don't have to tell him tomorrow, so put it out of your mind for now. Shh…"

Though no amount of commands or hormonal alteration could ease the pain in his heart, his breathing slowly returned to a regular pace. As Selim opened another doorway with his shadows, Ed's fatigue coupled with Solaris's lulling influence drew him into a troubled sleep. And, like most of his restless nights, this slumber brought with it a haunting dream.

He was Wrath again, back on the island where Azkaban stood. The cold aura of the dementors reached out for him even as he focused on the approaching figure of Alphonse.

"Al!" he called out involuntarily.

The suit of armor stopped and looked at him with a tilted head, as if he was confused. "There it is again. You called me 'Al.' Are you sure I don't know you?"

"Listen, Al, about that…" Somehow, he managed to find the courage to keep speaking. "Yes… I mean, no, I mean…" He sighed as his jumbled thoughts strove to form a coherent sentence. "You do know me. I know I don't look it right now, but… it's me. It's Ed."

Alphonse just stared at him blankly. "Ed? My brother, Ed?"

"Yes. I swear, there's a explanation for all of this, but-"

"That's not possible."

Ed halted mid-sentence and instead gaped, "What? Of course it's possible! I'm right here!"

"My brother would never look like a Homunculus. He would never help the Homunculi or Voldemort." Al towered over him menacingly. "And he would never… ever… fight against me in a real battle. Whatever kind of monster you are, you're not my brother."

"Al…" Ed was sure tears had leaked out of his horror-stricken eyes by now. "I know why you would think that, but-"

"My brother would never betray me by joining the enemy."

"Al, please!" His surroundings felt like ice as the dementors latched onto his despair, drawing nearer. "Al, can't you accept it? Accept that I did something you wouldn't expect me to?"

"What is there to accept? You're the enemy, a Homunculus… a monster. Nothing more."

"Al, just listen to me!" The dementors were closing in around him, cutting him off from Al.

"You're not Ed. You're a monster."

"Al! AL!"

Just as one of the dementors grabbed his face and clamped its jaw over his mouth, it was over... and he was safely in his four-poster bed. Someone (probably Solaris) had reattached his automail limbs, put him back in his normal sleeping attire, and even set his wand on the nightstand. Thinking about Solaris seeing him practically naked again made him shudder, but… it was like the Colonel had said to him after he'd slaughtered the former Wrath: "What's done is done; wallowing never did anyone any good." He stopped mid-thought as he realized that those words pretty much applied to his whole situation. He had made his choice, made it for Al's sake, no less. He would not let himself regret it; all he could do now was move forward and earn back his freedom… and Al's body. Even if I did regret making that contract, it wouldn't change the fact that I'm stuck now. Looking back would only slow me down.

Having thus reinforced his resolve, Ed thought the matter was settled, until a seed of despair spoke up. You might see it that way, but what about Al? Will he agree that the end justifies the means?

Of course he will, the main chunk of his mind retorted. He told me so himself; he's the one who convinced me to do it in the first place!

That's what you believed at the time, anyway. But, what if that Al really was just another trick, an illusion created by the Homunculus to get you to see things his way?

I can't accept that theory. That demon couldn't possibly make a convincing construct of Al.

That's just you clinging to a naïve comfort, the bitter realism in his heart delivered bluntly. Deep down, you know Al won't approve of what you've done, even though it's all for his sake. In fact, that's what will infuriate him: that you gave up your freedom for his body, that what should be his price in Equivalent Exchange is being taken from you.

I'm his big brother; it's my job to protect him, no matter the cost. As long as he gets his body back, I don't care what the hell the Homunculi do to me.

At this, the doubtful seed remained silent, not because it had no way of retaliating, but because it recognized that he was much too stubborn to be reasoned with intelligently.

When Ed finally descended to the Common Room, Solaris was waiting. The dementor incident seemed to have made her more sensitive to separation from him, a development he didn't at all find helpful. All the same, something else was different about her. Ed couldn't quite put his finger on it, and the closest word he could come up with was… calmer. Instead of impairing his ability to walk down a corridor by clinging to him, she simply slipped her hand into his and held it tightly, like a lifeline. As nice as this change was, Ed still had the feeling there was some ulterior motive behind it. Was she giving him space so that he could focus on his task of telling Al the truth? Yeah, that was probably it.

How was he going to tell Al? He hadn't thought that possible as recently as New Year's, and even though it was now an official order, could he really do it? As Ed mulled over these troublesome thoughts, he heard the most unexpected whisper of "Psst! Brother."

Ed nearly jumped out of his skin, and Solaris cocked an eyebrow.

"It's Al," Ed mouthed soundlessly. Taking the hint, Solaris squeezed his hand before letting it go. As soon as she rounded the next corner, Ed slowly turned in the direction of the voice. Al was standing in plain view, pretending to be just another suit of armor stationed along the hallway.

"W… what are you doing, Al?" Ed laughed nervously.

"I had to come tell you what happened last night. Or, I guess it was technically this morning…"

"Oh?" said Ed, feigning ignorance. "Go on."

Alphonse relayed how Mad-Eye had come to fetch him because the Homunculi had attacked Azkaban. Once there, Al had grappled with Sloth, and held his own pretty easily.

"But, then… that was when the new Homunculus butted in."

Ed gulped. "Th… there's a new Homunculus?"

Al nodded solemnly. "Wrath. He put up a much harder fight than Sloth did. He might actually have beaten me, but…"

"But what?" Ed pressed. Was there a chance that Al had been conscious enough to recognize the form of the Patronus? Did Al already have his suspicions, and that was the real reason he had come to talk?

"But my soul started getting pulled away, and then the dementors came. I thought for sure I was going to die as I blacked out. But, when the blood seal began to stabilize, I was still in one piece, and Wrath… Wrath was protecting me. I wonder why he would do that."

"You're one of their valuable sacrifices," Ed reminded, steering Al away from the painful truth.

"Oh, yeah. That would make sense, I guess." Al twiddled his thumbs, "But there's one thing I just don't get."

"What's that?"

"He called me 'Al,' so familiarly. None of the other Homunculi have called me that… so, why did he?"

Ed swallowed. Here he was, on the brink already… and he couldn't do it. "I dunno. Maybe it was just his way of getting your attention or something."

"That could be…" mused Al. He rose from his makeshift seat on the empty plinth and looked down at his brother. "…Ed? Are you okay? You look pale."

Ed hastily arranged his features into a convincing smile. "I guess I still have some recovering to do from the Kimblee incident."

"Please don't push yourself, Brother."

"Sure…" Ed traipsed down the corridor after Solaris, but Al called him back.

"Ed? Why were you holding that girl's hand earlier?"

"She was holding my hand," Ed corrected futilely. "Now, before you get any ideas, Al-"

"Winry's going to kill you."

"Then, don't tell her!"

Al gaped at Ed. "Are you… two-timing her?"

"No… Sol..." Ed halted as he remembered that Al would recognize Lust's pseudonym from her brief stint as Havoc's girlfriend, "This one's a clingy fangirl I can't get rid of, okay?"

"Do you need my help?"

"No, thanks. I'll come up with something."

Al sighed. "Okay… but I still think Winry will sense something when she sees you next and send a wrench flying at your head."

"Please don't make painful predictions like that," Ed shivered.

Al chuckled. "Well, I'll see you around, Brother."

"Yeah…" Ed was glad his little brother couldn't see his face as he walked away. "See ya, Al."

"Well?" Solaris asked as soon as Ed arrived in the Great Hall for breakfast.

Ed shook his head forlornly. "I… I couldn't do it." He slumped onto the bench next to her and played with a plateful of scrambled eggs.

"That's all right. There's always next time."

"Solaris, I don't know if I can do it at all. Since your Father said I could take my time, that's a loophole that could go on… forever."

"Father knows that… but he also knows you don't have the heart to lie to your brother forever."

Before Ed could come up with a reply, Luna took the seat on his other side. "Hello, Ed. You look especially filled with Wrackspurts this morning."

"Uh… thanks?" Even the closeness he'd felt to Luna was gone now, severed by the wall of his contract. Still, he did his best to smile and be interested as Luna told him about her daddy's latest findings on the Crumple-Horned Snorkack. Then, Solaris tapped his shoulder.

"What?" he whispered.

"Maybe what you need is some practice… on someone else."

"Huh? Who'd you have in mind?"

Solaris's violet eyes darted toward the Gryffindor table… toward Harry.

"No."

"Why not? He's on Father's list."

"What? Why?"

"Just another way of getting leverage in the right places. Look, we need you to help us break it to him anyway, so consider it an opportunity to prepare you for telling Al?"

"Nothing can prepare me for that," Ed insisted. "But… okay."

He stood and meandered across the Hall to the Gryffindor table. Looking up, Harry momentarily smiled, "Oh! Hey, Ed." Then, his attention went back to The Daily Prophet. "Have you seen the news? I can hardly believe it."

"Yeah, I've seen." Duh! I was there.

"I mean… this photograph makes it look like an entire side of the prison was just blown off."

"It was."

"What?"

"It does," Ed corrected himself. "It does look like that." He took a deep breath. "Actually, Harry, I need to tell you something related to that."

"To the prison break?"

"Yeah, but I'd rather it was more… in private."

Harry checked his watch. "Okay, I've got time. Sure."

Following Solaris's subtle lead, Ed directed Harry to the same unused classroom they'd utilized as a rendezvous point after he'd returned from Amestris… right after Father had tagged him like an animal.

"Um, Ed? What's your girlfriend doing here? What's she got to do with it?"

"Quite a lot, actually."

Solaris smiled at Harry before telling Ed, "Lenost will keep watch, and Selim and Kateus are already inside."

Ed nodded passively, turning to Harry in encouragement. "Come on."

"What's… going on here, Ed?"

"You'll just have to come in and find out, Harry," winked Solaris, taking Ed's arm and pulling him inside. The small blonde knew his wizard friend's curiosity had been hooked. He'd come in, all right.

"Why do you always have Lenost keep watch?" Ed asked while they waited for Harry. "I mean… aren't you worried he'll just fall asleep, or something?"

Solaris laughed. "Actually, that would just work to our advantage. Sloth's enhanced ability is something like a Muggle-Repelling Charm. He sends out subconscious suggestions, usually along the lines of, 'walking down this corridor would be a pain; take that other one, instead.' So, if he's asleep, that just makes the suggestions more effective."

Ed hopped up onto a desk and sat, letting his legs dangle off the side. "Oh… that's a little creepy."

"At least he can still be of some use that way," Kateus noted.

"That's cold. He's your brother, after all."

Selim snorted. "Our family doesn't run on the same principles as human ones, Edward. I would have thought that would be obvious."

"That what would be obvious?" Harry had finally entered.

"Oh, good," said Selim, disregarding Harry's initial question. "Get the lock, Edward."

Ed obeyed, closing and bolting the door with a spell under his breath and a flick of his wand.

"Ed?" Harry asked, worry seeping into his voice.

"Attention here, Harry Potter," Selim insisted. Once Harry was looking at him, the smaller Gryffindor continued, "I'm not going to waste time about this; our Father has given us permission to inform you about the truth of the current situation."

"You say you're not going to waste time," muttered Ed, "and yet you ramble on ambiguously."

Kateus nudged Ed in the ribs. "Shut up until I say otherwise, Smallric."

Ed would have retorted, but his voice submissively stopped working, as if Kateus had just cast a Silencing Charm on him.

"If you don't mind," Selim growled dangerously. Kateus gave his older brother an innocent "What did I do?" expression, which actually looked rather sickening. "As I was saying," Selim went on, "There's something important you need to know."

"Which is?"

"Edward's alliances have changed."

This sentence seemed to bounce off of Harry's brain unabsorbed. "Uh, sorry… what?"

"Dammit, this human's dense," Kateus snarled. "You could have warned us he wasn't all that bright, pipsqueak."

Ed threw the Homunculus a dirty look that said, "You never asked."

"Harry," Solaris trilled, trying to make up for her brothers' lack of tact, "didn't Ed tell you about the Homunculi?"

"Well, of course, but…" and then, it clicked. Harry backed away from Solaris and pressed up against the locked door. "Oh, my God."

"Now he gets it," Kateus groaned.

"But… Ed!" Harry rounded on the small blonde. "You said the Homunculi were your bitter enemies!"

Kateus elbowed Ed again. "Go on. You can answer him."

Gathering his courage, Ed looked Harry in the eyes. "I… I know this must feel messed-up, Harry. Hell, I still think it's messed-up… but it's the truth. Yes, the Homunculi were… are my bitter enemies, but… I've had to put that aside for the time being in order to get my brother's body back."

"How on earth does that…?"

"He's working for us to earn it," Selim explained. "Indentured servitude, of a kind."

"That's barbaric!"

"That's Equivalent Exchange," said Ed with surprising calm. "Harry, I knew about the Azkaban breakout because I was there. The explosion that blew apart the prison… I did that."

The anger in Harry's face was almost instantaneous. "That's not funny, Ed."

"And I'm not joking."

The next thing he knew, a Knockback Jinx had hit him squarely in the diaphragm, pushing all the air out of him and sending him toppling off of the desk. As his vision swam, he could see Harry trying to open the door, but Pride's shadows got there first. Within seconds, a wall of darkness had cut Harry off from his only exit.

"You're not going anywhere just yet, Potter," said Selim with awful finality.

Kateus snatched Harry's wand away and grinned, "Someone needs to mind his manners better."

Almost as soon as Ed got back on his feet, Harry rushed him. Just before the wandless wizard landed a solid punch to the small blonde, Kateus looped his arms around Harry's elbows, holding him back.

"Cool it, Potter!" he advised, but Harry wasn't listening.

"I TRUSTED YOU!" he screamed at Ed. "You're supposed to be on our side, Ed, not on theirs! NOT ON VOLDEMORT'S!"

"Ah, I see you need further clarification," interjected Selim. "If Voldemort is your true enemy, Harry Potter, then you, Ed, and I are all on the same side."

"Like hell we are!" Harry bit back.

"Well, you're going to have to accept that fact if we're going to work together."

Harry was so taken aback by this that he relaxed in Kateus's grip, but Ed was just as confused.

"What?" both boys ogled.

"Nothing as extensive as Edward's arrangement with us, of course," Selim appended. "Whether you believe us or not, we are going to betray Voldemort. So, it would be helpful if you would keep us informed of anything you learn through that connection you have to Voldemort's mind. We could know if he suspects us."

Harry's face blanched. "H… How did you know I have-"

"Because we're not stupid," Kateus snapped.

Ed cautiously raised a hand. "I didn't know about this." Was that why Harry had been able to sympathize with him before?

"Then I guess that makes you stupid, Smallric."

"Forget I asked," the young alchemist grumbled sourly.

"Can you two quit it?" Selim begged.

"Why would I ever do you any favors?" Harry demanded, his face set.

Selim's arrogant grim resurfaced. "Well… I could threaten to torture and kill your friends if you don't…" When Harry looked aghast, the eldest Homunculus finished, "but that would be unnecessarily extreme. You're a compassionate person by nature, Harry Potter, so… I really think I only need torture one of your friends."

The bespectacled wizard bit his lip, but refused to give. Chuckling in condescending amusement, Selim turned to Ed. "Give me your wand, Edward."

"Huh?" His brain had to catch up with his body as he handed the ash wand to Selim. "What are you going to use it for?"

"Now, Potter," Selim continued, ignoring Ed's question and facing Harry once again, "I know you must feel simply livid at Ed for helping us, but I also know you aren't so cold as to turn your back on him completely."

"You're entitled to that opinion," came Harry's icy reply.

"I guess we'll just have to see who's right, won't we?" With that, Selim pointed the wand at Ed. "Crucio."

It was as if Father's punishment had spread throughout his entire body… or maybe even worse. The pain reached into every nerve, twisting and stabbing. When the curse lifted, he lay on the floor in a crumpled heap; from the soreness in his throat, he knew he had screamed.

"Why the hell did you attack him?" Harry gaped. "He's your partner!"

Kateus cackled. "Partner? Please... He's our property, our dog that we can kick around however we please. You think he enjoys working for us? He hates every second of it. Love really does make you humans do stupid things."

Harry's expression grew troubled, but his true thoughts were unreadable. Ed's eyes drifted to Solaris… and what he found was a harsh slap from reality: she wasn't even looking at him. Oh, sure, she might have had a breakdown when she thought a dementor had sucked out his soul, but, if her brothers were the ones causing him pain on Father's orders, she could just pay no mind. How fickle could a woman get?

"It's such a small request, Harry Potter," sighed Selim. "Why not simply say 'yes'?"

"Because… I know you can't afford to kill Ed."

"That may be true… but we only need him alive. We never said anything about needing his mind intact. You saw what happened to the Longbottom boy's parents after enough exposure to the Cruciatus Curse."

Though Ed didn't exactly know what Selim was talking about, he got the gist of the threat. "Hey… you aren't… serious, are you, Selim? What about-"

"Even if you end up a vegetable, we'll still honor the deal." The violet eyes gleamed dangerously. "I am deadly serious."

He raised the wand again, but just before he repeated the curse, Harry cut in. "Wait!"

Selim cocked an expectant eyebrow, obliging to Harry's request.

"…Okay. Okay, I'll do it."

"Excellent," Selim smiled only slightly more genially. He tossed the ash wand to its owner and withdrew his shadows. "So, if you hear, see, or feel anything from Voldemort, just let me know."

Harry clenched his teeth. "Fine."

"Kateus, you can let him go now."

"Sure," complied the green-haired Mulus, releasing Harry, handing the boy his wand, and leading the way from the room. Selim quickly followed, leaving Solaris and the two boys.

The female Homunculus crouched by Ed's side as the small blonde started to get up again, but he swatted her hand away. "I don't want your help," he half-snarled. When she didn't move, he met her confused face with blazing eyes. "You're really a piece of work – you know that? You put on this big act to try and lure me in, but, when it comes down to orders, you're just as cold as your brothers. When it matters, I'm just another human, so maybe you should quit trying to convince me or yourself or anyone else otherwise."

Why did she have to put on that hurt, pleading expression? It was so infuriating! Who was she trying to fool? Still, Ed felt a twinge of guilt when she strode from the room with a trembling lip.

That left Ed and Harry alone, and the young alchemist could practically feel his friend's constrained anger radiating throughout the room.

"You can go ahead and hit me if you want to," Ed offered. "I deserve it… all of it. Kateus was right; I made a stupid, rash decision, but I can't turn back now." He stood and faced Harry with the strongest expression he could muster. "I'm going to make it right, Harry, I promise you that. I don't know what I can do about Voldemort, but the Homunculi… as soon as they give me what I want, all bets are off, and they're dead." It was strange how his words felt so similar to the way Selim and Solaris had justified their temporary alliance with Voldemort. Mentally shaking off that connection, Ed waited for Harry to say something… anything.

"Ed, I… I don't want to be a fair-weather friend… but you can't expect me to condone what you've done."

"I'm not asking you to. I'm not asking anything of you. Whatever you feel the need to dish out, I can take."

Harry sighed. "Does Al know about this?"

"Of course not… but that's gonna change soon enough. I've been given orders to tell him."

"Orders? Can't you just… circumvent them? Simply not obey them?"

Ed found himself laughing. "Harry, if I could do that, do you really think they could have forced me to tag along to Azkaban?" When the other had no reply, Ed unbuttoned the top of his shirt and showed Harry the Ouroboros on his chest. "This brand takes away my choice in the matter. Kateus – or Envy, really – called me their dog, and that description's alarmingly accurate. I sit and roll over when I'm told to; I have no control over it. If I'd known that going into the deal… maybe my decision would have been different."

A trace of what looked suspiciously like pity seeped into Harry's face, which immediately set Ed on edge. "Don't feel sorry for me. I made the choice; I'm going to handle the consequences." Trying to divert the subject, he smiled apologetically. "So, does this mean I'm kicked out of the Army?"

It took Harry a second to realize what Ed was talking about, but then, he shook his head. "No. I don't have a problem with you staying on… as long as they don't have to come, too."

"Kateus wouldn't be caught dead there. Selim just wouldn't care, and neither would Lenost. But, Solaris… I might not be able to persuade her to leave me alone for that long."

"That's… unhealthy."

"You don't have to tell me twice." Hoping to drop the conversation at that point, Ed passed Harry and headed for the door.

"Ed…"

"Yeah?" Ed replied, waiting.

"I… I just wish you had come to us – your friends – before you gave in. We would have done whatever it took to-"

"I appreciate the sentiment, Harry, I do, but this is something no amount of magic could have fixed. Alchemy is the only thing that can bring Al's body back, and I'm running out of time." Exhaling heavily, he turned his back on Harry and mused, "Maybe if you had a little brother, you could understand. I'd sell my soul to the devil, I'd throw myself into Hell if it would keep him safe."

On that somber note, they parted.

The less-than-ideal interaction with Harry did little to encourage Ed to break the news to Al. In fact, it nudged him toward putting it off. He tried to push it out of his mind for the next few days as he bulldozed through make-up homework. Solaris had become more distant after his harsh words to her, but that suited Ed just fine. Terry asked if he and his pretty girlfriend had run into a little lover's spat, a theory that Ed quickly responded to with, "We just need some breathing room."

"Still," Terry persisted, "don't let her breathe too long, or some other lucky fellow will snap her up."

Ed was tempted to say, "Help yourself," but he curbed his tongue.

A week passed, then two. Ed slipped into a dull routine of going to classes and, overall, behaving himself, but, all the while, he inwardly grappled about what he was supposed to do and when to do it. Soon, the end of January was close at hand, and still Ed had not found the strength to confront Al with the truth.

"You're going to have to tell him sooner or later," Solaris reminded him one evening. "The sooner you tell him, the more time he'll have to get used to the idea. Isn't that kinder than lying to him?"

Ed had no reply. He had no answers, no plan. What was he going to do?

At last, almost four weeks after the attack on Azkaban, Selim stepped in. "Edward, you need to tell him."

"I'm going to!"

"Today. Go to the Shack and tell him. The longer you dawdle, the harder it will be for both of you."

Ed opened his mouth in protest, "But-"

"Selim's right. Just go and get it over with," Kateus affirmed.

Solaris stroked the side of his face. "You can do it. It'll be okay."

Still, the three of them had to half-drag him to the Whomping Willow.

"We'll wait here," said Selim.

"But, I-"

"Go on," whispered Solaris, giving him a reassuring squeeze.

Slowly, Ed approached the tree. Hindering the swaying branches with a Freezing Charm, he pressed the special knot on the trunk and descended into the passage. As he made himself keep walking, he wished the darkness would swallow him so that he would never have to reach the end of the tunnel. Maybe Al wouldn't be in, or maybe the presence of some other Order member would prevent Ed from speaking freely. All too soon, he found these theories to be empty hopes; Al was quite alone in the Shack, and he immediately noticed Ed upon entry.

"Brother!" He scooped up his older brother in a crushing hug, but Ed barely felt the physical discomfort next to how much agony his heart was in. "It's been a while since you came to visit. Have you been really busy?"

"Y… yeah," Ed stammered, choosing simply to answer the question. "Lots of homework to make up for."

"Oh. That's kind of harsh, considering you were so badly hurt and all."

"Umbridge wouldn't even let my death be an excuse, so being comatose for a month counts for nothing with her."

"She sounds pretty mean."

"Teacher's a saint next to that hag."

"Wow… is it really that bad?"

"The woman is more evil than Voldemort!" Ed caught himself before elaborating on his encounter with the Dark Lord, knowing that wasn't the most prudent way to begin his truth-telling.

"Ed? Is something on your mind?"

The elder Elric wanted to respond with his usual defensive technique of, "No, Al. I'm fine," but that would only delay the inevitable. "…Yeah, there is. I just… I'm not sure how to start."

"Okay. Well, take your time," said Al. Ed glanced around the small house, as if the right words would appear to him if he looked hard enough. He couldn't help but notice that his little brother had really cleaned up the Shack. Ed wasn't all that surprised; Al always had been the tidier one. At last, he let his gut lead.

"You, um… you know how you told me about what happened… at Azkaban?"

Al nodded. "I've still been thinking about that. Some things still don't add up."

"Like?"

"There were definitely times before where the Homunculi held back in their attacks because I was a sacrifice, but none of them ever actively protected me. Lust even tried to kill me the first time we met. So then, why did Wrath put himself in danger for my sake like that? I don't even know what happened to him after that. For all I know, the dementors…" he shuddered.

"He's fine." Ed knew he couldn't stall. The urge to come clean was growing stronger by the second.

Al tilted his head in surprise. "What makes you say that? How do you know?"

Ed gulped; the moment of truth had arrived.

"Because… because you're looking at him."

One second. Two... five… and Al just stared uncomprehendingly at his big brother. Ed almost wondered if his soul had been pulled away, but then…

"What… are you talking about, Ed? You… you can't be serious. You're messing with me."

Ed shook his head, and a helpless smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "I'm Wrath, or… I was, that night, thanks to Envy and some Polyjuice Potion on steroids."

Al reeled, sinking into an armchair. "But… I don't understand. Ed… why? Why would you…?"

"That bit wasn't my idea. The others decided disguising me was the safest option."

"But, why were you even there in the first place?" Al asked, his voice unsteady. "Why did you just refer to the Homunculi as 'the others,' as if… as if you're on their side? That's crazy… right?"

"Al…" Ed bit his lip, but he had to keep going. He slowly unfastened his sweater and shirt as he forced the words out. "Al, while I was in that coma… I had a long talk with the Homunculus. He told me that your blood seal was weakening, that you were going to die if I didn't do something. So…" A narrow stretch of skin now showed down the length of his torso in-between the folds of his open shirt. "So, he made me an offer… and I took it."

He pulled the fabric aside, and hearing Al's horrified gasp was like being impaled by Kimblee again. "Ed! What have you done to yourself?"

Ed barely had time to put in, "It's Lust's handiwork, actually," before Al was on his knees in front of his elder brother, running a trembling finger over the burn. "It only hurt right when she cut into me," he added lamely.

Al grabbed Ed's shoulders in order to brace himself. "What… what was the offer?" When there was no immediate reply, Al shook him roughly. "WHAT DID YOU DO, ED?"

He had never heard this tone in Al's voice before. Even the boggart apparition had not exuded anger this… raw. Ed pushed past the lump in his throat and confessed the truth. "I… I sold myself to him. For my submission, he's promised to get your body back, to remove Dad's curse of immortality, to-"

"YOU IDIOT!" Al shoved him to the floor, as if enough physical force could bring his brother to his senses. "WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO DO THAT, ED?"

"Wh… what possessed me?" Ed couldn't explain why, but he laughed. "That's obvious, Al. Father possessed me. He won me over."

"NO! I WON'T ACCEPT THAT! I WON'T LOSE YOU TO THEM!"

"You're over a month too late for that, Al. I made the deal Christmas night."

Al's armor rattled as he shook with a whirlwind of emotions. "Then… you lied to me? On New Year's…?"

"I had to," Ed tried to explain. "Up until recently, I was forbidden from telling you about this."

"I'm your brother!"

"And I'm their slave." How was he so calm? He had thought he would be yelling, too, but his recognition of his situation somehow instilled a quiet apathy in him. "They give orders, and I follow them… like an obedient dog."

"So you attacked Azkaban on their command? You released Voldemort's followers? You fought me, lied to me?

"I did what I had to. I did it for you, Al."

"WHO EVER SAID YOU HAD TO DO ANYTHING FOR ME?"

"Because it's my responsibility to protect you, whatever the cost."

"I DON'T WANT MY BODY BACK IF IT'S GOING TO HURT YOU LIKE THIS!"

Ed finally raised his voice, "It's you or me, Al! We can't both get off scot-free! Equivalent Exchange doesn't work that way!" After a deep, calming breath, he continued, "And I'm not letting you pick which one of us gets off easier. I won't let you die, Al, even if that costs me my life."

Al clenched his fists as a heavy silence stretched between them.

Ed hung his head. "I… I knew you'd be angry… and I know it won't be easy for you to adjust to this, but… it's the way things are going to have to be for a little while longer. You won't lose me to them forever, Al. I'm going to make things right."

He left a pause, waiting for some response from his little brother, but… nothing. "Al? Can you… can you at least accept that?"

After almost another whole minute of tension, Al faced the opposite wall so that Ed could only see his towering back, and he finally spoke.

"…I… I need to be alone. Please… please leave."

"But, Al-"

"Just go." The metallic voice quivered with disappointment and betrayal.

Ed reached out for the armored hand. "Al, please-"

"Don't touch me! Go! GET OUT!"

It was like Al had just stabbed him… like Al had just killed him. With those words, something broke between them; the incident in Central Hospital all those months ago had been nothing next to this. No matter how forgiving of a person Al was, he was still a human, and like every human, he had a limit, a boundary in his heart beyond which those few things deemed "unforgivable" were placed. And Edward… had just been put there. Al couldn't forgive him; Ed could hear it in his voice.

Feeling as fragile as a china plate, Ed forced one foot in front of the other and left his brother alone in the cold darkness of the Shrieking Shack. He barely made it ten feet along the earthen passage before he fell to his knees. As the sobs racked his body, he longed to scream, to cry out, to show Al how strong his longing for reconciliation was, but he bit his tongue and held it in. It took so much effort that he couldn't take another step. Instead, he curled up in the dirt, knowing he deserved to die for causing his little brother so much pain.

Eventually, the shadows thickened.

"Edward?" Selim's voice echoed. "Did you tell him?"

The boy's half-audible moans of grief were answer enough.

"I see. Well, I guess it couldn't be helped. Come along now." The darkness wrapped around him like a blanket, carrying him to the other end of the tunnel. Once the shadows deposited him on the topsoil a little distance from the Whomping Willow, once Ed could be sure that Al wouldn't hear him, his strength shattered. Selim and Kateus instantly stepped back, not at all sure how to handle the Fullmetal Alchemist in tears. Ed buried his face in his hands; he had never cried like this before, not even when he had first lost Al to the Portal. Eventually, he registered the presence of a warm hand on his shoulder. Solaris, instead of staying back like her brothers, had seated herself in front of him. With her other hand, she ran a finger along his cheek, interrupting the flow of salty liquid down his face.

"I… I went too far," Ed choked. "It won't… we won't ever be the same."

She enfolded him in her arms. "I'm so sorry, Edward. All I can hope is that, when his body is restored, he'll change his mind."

"No… He'll never… ever forgive me; I know it."

He could feel her smiling sadly. "Ever the pessimist, my Fullmetal boy." She kissed the side of his head. "Go on and let it out. It's nothing to be ashamed of; even you can't bottle up your emotions forever."

Her words… they were so similar to the ones Al had said to him the night the boggart had terrified him. It was too much. He gripped her tightly and sobbed his heart out into her shoulder. Selim and Kateus left him in her care, knowing she was most capable of handling him in this state. For the first time, Ed was glad that she stayed by his side, that – for selfish reasons or not – she needed him so much, because now… he needed her, too.

A/N: Why do I have the song "Past the Point of No Return" from The Phantom of the Opera playing in my head? It's not applicable at all (other than the title)!

Wow, it feels like it's been so long since Harry was in the story… Selim learned all that stuff about the connection and Neville's parents from spying. Shadow powers are excellent for spying.

Remember how the wand didn't reject the Homunculi in Chapter 11? Blood ties + inhuman qualities + raw power = Homunculi can use Ed's wand.

Ed, having accepted that the Al he spoke to in his coma was an illusion from Father, now admits that it was Father he was talking to the whole time.

I really hope Al doesn't seem OOC… everyone has a breaking point, and – after being so far from Ed physically – for Ed to betray the "good guys" so utterly, that slap in the face pushes Al over the edge. There are those canon moments where he gets angry at Ed about things, so I just revved that up a few notches on the rage spectrum.

To succinctly explain the SolEd relationship from this point until… like… the end, it's based on mutual emptiness, on taking from each other, which only leaves both feeling unsatisfied, which leads to more taking. It's not a healthy relationship at all… make more sense? That's why you should be cautious about liking Solaris.