Everything Is Different Now
Chapter 20
May 11, 2013
Frederick Estate, Boulder, Colorado
JPOV
I'd been sitting here at Laura's bedside for going on 4 days now. She was still so weak and still
sleeping so long. Occasionally, she would wake and try to smile groggily at me. I've hardly let go of
her hand since I got her back to the villa. Marie and Barney and Phillip were all very tolerant of my
needs when it came to remaining at her side. What would I do if she suffered some sort of permanent
damage from her ordeal? How would I survive if she recovered but decided she was done with me?
The fact that my wolf had thought at the last minute to inform me that if I lost Laura I would die as
well, was a little more earth-shattering than I'd expected from this second imprint. Who could have
possibly known that a re-adjusted imprint was more than just eternal, it could potentially be fatal if
something went wrong? This was definitely the kind of knowledge that future Packs would need
documented for referencing. For me, the knowledge was much more than just in need of
documentation.
If Laura didn't come back to me, if she wouldn't take me back, it wouldn't matter. I would welcome
death.
I held Laura's hand, warming it between my own, and whispered words of love, devotion and passion
to her, willing her to open her eyes to me and accept me back into her heart. I spoke to her every
moment I got alone with her. Holding her palm to my cheek I spoke to her from the depths of my
heart in all its despair.
"Laura, I know I've not been fair to you. I've been so insecure about all of these revelations and, I
didn't know what to believe or how to behave. But I know one thing. I've been selfish and narrow-
minded and unfair to you. I know now that you didn't know about any of this shit before. I know you
didn't lie to me about anything. I'm sorry I didn't trust you honey. Laura, I can't make it without
you. You have to come back to me. Please. You've gotta know how much I need you. Honey, if you
leave me...there's no reason to go on. I mean it. Without you, there's no purpose for me. I have no
place. The world has no need of me without you."
I realized there was absolutely nothing she could do that would make me turn away from her short of
refusing to be with me and demanding that I leave. I prayed that she wouldn't want a resolution that
drastic. There was nothing that she could say that would cause me to doubt her love for me, ever
again, but I had my work cut out for me regaining her trust.
I left her side only for bathroom breaks and a shower or two. Marie brought food to me right there at
Laura's bedside, where I would anger the sweet little woman by only picking at her flavorful
offerings. My stomach could barely handle any amount of sustenance as long as my heart's own
spirit was struggling so valiantly there in the bed in front of me.
I talked to her constantly, desperately trying to coax her back from the abyss that threatened to take
her from me. I pressed a kiss to her palm every moment I was with her.
"Laura, baby, you're gonna be okay. Marie's brought warm broth for you every day. You need to
wake up so you can sip some and make her happy. Barney and Phillip are hovering too. They're
angry with me and want me to leave you alone and let you rest. But I can't, Honey, I just can't. You
have given me such a gift. You saved my life. It's just that simple and just that massive. I don't know
how much longer I could have lasted in that place, but I don't want to know what would have become
of me if you hadn't come when you did. I love you, Laura. Please, forgive me. Please come back to
me. I need you. I can't go through one more day without you and I won't leave you, ever. I swear
it."
Finally, on the fifth day after her ordeal in the cave, Laura stirred, opened her eyes and smiled at me
with some sparkle showing in them. I fell to my knees at the side of the bed and clutched at her
shoulders, pulling her into my arms, holding her close, drawing in her scent. My girl was going to be
alright! I wanted to pull her soft body underneath me right at that moment and take her again, mark
her again. I somehow managed to stop myself, warning my wolf that our mate was still weak and
needed time to recover before we jumped her bones. But, God, he was hard to hold back! She
needed time before we took her into our sex-starved embrace again. I needed her, I wanted her. My
wolf needed reassurance that she was safe, recovered and still his. I tamped him down with
admonishments of our woman's need for gentleness and compassion. He sulked in the corner and
grudgingly allowed me to care for her in my own way. I never dreamed how many backward steps I
had taken and how short-lived our joyous reunion would be.
Laura pulled away from me after only a few moments, without a word, scooting back into her pillows,
pulling the covers up to her chin and effectively slamming the door in my face. My wolf's irritation
with me was completely justified. I had fucked up, plain and simple. Sometimes I would glance up at
her and catch a flash of hurt and sorrow and, God could I believe this (?) fear, in her eyes and
marring her beautiful features. As the hours dragged on she hadn't spoken much to me at all. She
answered questions with short, quiet phrases. She was still somewhat withdrawn, but it was
specifically from me. She spoke more openly with Marie, Phillip and Barney when they came to
check on her. At first it was almost as if she was merely tolerating my presence in her room, the same
room I had thought was now 'our' room. Taking a cue from my wolf, I remained mostly silent as long
as she allowed us to stay near her.
After a couple more days, she accepted my hand and let me hold hers for some time. I felt like a
teenage boy again, rejoicing in such simple physical contact. I was definitely going to have to work
for this and rightfully so. I did everything short of begging. But I was prepared to do that too if that's
what would work.
Two days later, I was slumped over in the chair with my head on the mattress next to her arm. I had
one hand slipped under her shoulder and the other softly wrapped around her arm. Without any
warning, she woke from her slumber and turned her eyes to me. I lifted my head when I felt her
movement and she looked sad and depressed and my heart stuttered in my chest. I had done this to
her. She reached out her hand to me and I grasped it in both of my own as I dropped to my knees by
the bed once again and leaned down to place a gentle kiss on her fingertips. No words were spoken. I
didn't think I would be able and I didn't know if she wanted to hear my voice again anyway. She
reached out with her other hand and smoothed her fingers down my cheek, brushing away a tear I
hadn't known was there. I reached up and wiped away a matching, sparkling drop from the corner of
her eye. She caught my hand then and placed it over her heart so I could feel the rhythm of it. With
only the look in her eyes she told me that I was forgiven and had been accepted back into her heart. I
could only lower my head to her lap, letting out a long, shaky breath. Still holding my hand to her
chest, she leaned down and placed a tender kiss to my head letting her lips linger there a long time
and running her fingers so gently through the tangled strands of my hair. We had turned the corner I
hoped. Forgiveness is a wonderful and healing thing.
Finally, my mate wrapped her arms around my shoulders and buried her face in my neck. She
breathed in a huge gulp of air, as if she were drawing in my scent. It's what I would be doing to her in
just a few seconds.
She held my body to hers with a ferocity I didn't know she'd have the strength for. But she clutched
at me like a lifeline. She wrapped her arms around me as if she'd never let me go. That was just what
I needed, reassurance that she still needed me. She spoke to me in the barest of whispers.
"I love you Jacob," she murmured.
I whispered back to her, "I love you too, Laura, my angel."
We held each other closely, nose to nose, forehead to forehead, shoulder to shoulder. She wordlessly
urged me to climb into the bed beside her, which I did willingly and with hope blossoming in my
chest. I wrapped my arms around her soft body and we simply held each other closely. It was as if
we were re-introducing ourselves. Our hearts reconnected, more solidly than before. My mate had
returned to her wolf.
The next day I resolved to try to lift her spirits by bringing the newest member of the family to visit
my mate. The puppy could only be positive reinforcement and entertainment for her.
May 17, 2013
"Well, hey there little sweet pea. Come here, precious."
"She said she's been missing her Momma. She wanted to come see you."
"I've been missing you too Jasmine. My little sweetie."
"How are you feeling today my angel?"
"I feel like I can't stand another day of being cooped up inside and fussed over like an invalid and if I
don't get 'rider up!' on Rocky I'm gonna go berserk and hurt somebody."
"So...better then."
"Arrgh! Yes! Better! Lemme outta here, Jacob!"
"Very well honey. If you insist." (There's the fire I was longing to see re-ignited.)
"Insist?! Insist?! Who's the damn doctor in this establishment?"
"You have the title, but right now I'm occupying that position."
"By whose authority buster?"
"Um,...mine?"
"Thought so. Okay, that does it! I'm going for a ride on my boy Rocky. If you plan to keep me in
your line of sight all the time, I suggest you hustle your fine self out to the barn and help Barney
saddle up Snowball. NOW!"
"Okay! Okay! Geez! What a persnickety patient you are!"
"It's been TEN DAYS!"
"I know that. I can count! But I'm not taking any chances from here on out. I'm watching you like a
hawk for at least a whole month, to make certain you have no ill after-effects or lingering weakness."
"You just wait till you have another fever or get a scratch or a skin rash! I'll wrap you up like a
mummy and tie you to the bed!"
"Now, on the one hand, that could cause me to have an emotional relapse of catastrophic
proportions. On the other hand...that could be EXACTLY what I'm angling for doctor."
"Did anyone ever tell you that you have an Alpha complex?"
"You're kidding right?"
"Oh,...yeah,...okay. I give up."
"C'mere Honey. I need a check of the patient's temp. Taken through the lips."
"You don't play fair, 'doctor'."
"No...I just play 'doctor'."
"Foul! Cheat!"
"Never a cheat. Never. My angel. Are you sure you're up to a horseback ride? Would you settle for a
wolf back ride today and maybe a tête a tête with Rocky and Snowball this weekend? Please, baby? I
don't want you to rush it or overdo it."
"Hmmm, wolf back ride you say? That has a great deal of potential I think. Am I allowed to
commune with the wolf?"
"I think perhaps I could persuade him to that. I have some influence with him you know."
"Oh yes, I know, I know. So do we invite Barney and Phillip to join us or are we going solo duo?"
"We can invite them if you'd like. We've all been getting better 'acquainted'."
"Hmm, you must tell me about that. What is your status with the resident wolves?"
"Well,...um...that's something I've been meaning to talk to you about."
"Oh? Why?"
"Well...um..."
"C'mon Jacob! Out with it."
"Both of their wolves have recognized me as their Alpha."
"Really? Are you all certain?"
"Yeah. They both said they sensed me immediately when I arrived at the Estate. Phillip said he and
Barney discussed it and they both felt the same thing, that I'm not just an Alpha...I'm THE Alpha.
I'm just relating what Phillip and Barney said they 'felt'. I swear to you baby, I've exerted no
influence, forced no orders or commands, it's just what they tell me is flowing from my side to their
side. I can't help it I guess. I'm an Alpha, what can I say? I didn't know it was a universal
circumstance. I just thought it applied to La Push and that Pack. I don't know what it all
means...yet."
"So...it appears it's not just a bloodline thing huh? It's a hereditary, spiritual, personality, wolf
thing?"
"Yeah, okay, that sounds good."
"It's universal."
"That's what Phillip called it."
"Well,...that's...different...and unexpected isn't it?"
"Yeah, no kidding!"
"Well, hey, let's get our shit together and get out of here. We're wasting daylight. And I think
Jasmine is coming with us."
"Sounds like a plan. C'mon then."
We loaded up a backpack with food, water and Jasmine. The puppy had her own custom-made
pocket on the outside of the pack and was raring to go with her Momma person and her Alpha. Even
little Jasmine knew her Leader when she saw him.
We walked hand in hand across the back garden until we reached the edge of the woods. I did
another strip tease for Laura and phased to the sound of her whistles and applause. I went to my
belly and she climbed up to my shoulders, Jasmine yapping happily at the prospect of a road trip with
her Alpha Mommy and Daddy.
Soon I was loping through the estate's massive wilderness area. I made a beeline for one of our
newest 'spots' hoping to layer on some new happier memories for Laura and me. We had had a rough
patch or two, but we were recovering. We were headed toward smoother going and gaining a surer
footing for our relationship. Things could only get better now. But there were still surprises to come.
"Jake? Is that you? Jake, man, are you here? You're alive?"
"Embry? Holy shit buddy! Yes, I'm alive. Where are you?"
"I'm on the Rez idiot! Where else would I be?"
"Well, I don't know dude, but I never dreamed I could hear anyone this far away. I
mean...uh...shit..."
"What do you mean Jake? You're not home?"
"No Emb, no I'm not. Well, I'm not in La Push anyway. I had no idea the Pack Mind could reach
this far."
"This far? Where the fuck ARE you Jake? Where've you been, man? It's been years! We thought
you were...well..."
"What Emb?"
"We thought you were dead."
Oh hell, Embry! I'm sorry! I didn't know. No, I'm not dead, obviously. Part of the time I was
mentally out of it and locked up in an asylum. Part of it I was laying low trying to deal with my
fucked up life. I copped out, I wimped out. You guys deserve better though. I'm really sorry Emb."
"Don't worry Jake, I'm just stunned and blown away that you're still breathing. We'll get over it,
well, most of us will anyway. Sam and Quil are pretty pissed at you but they'll recover."
"Why are Sam and Quil pissed at me?"
"Well, to be honest, Sam is pissed because he's still Alpha. And Quil is just generally pissed that you
didn't say goodbye or leave any explanation. I haven't told anyone about the imprint. Even after
all this time, I kept my word to you dude. I did promise after all."
"I appreciate that Emb. I really do. Listen, I guess it's high time I let everyone know I'm still alive
and kicking. Pay attention for a few minutes, I'll fill you in on the last seven years."
I continued to stride smoothly with my imprint on my back as I replayed the time since the flash
flood cut off my communication with Embry. I opened up completely with my brother and shared
my whole new existence with him. Embry, needless to say, was utterly stunned at the revelation that
my imprint on the Cullen's baby daughter had broken and re-settled on an adult, human woman. He
was also speechless at the beauty, brains and strength of that new imprint.
"Damn Jake! You've been busy bro! She's a real looker! And SHE found YOU instead of the other
way around! Some guys have all the luck don't they? Well, I'll be damned! And are you for real in
Colorado? Right now?"
"Yeah, right now! We're just a few miles outside Boulder. It's really beautiful and I've never felt
more at home anywhere. I mean it. Even La Push doesn't hold a candle to this place. You gotta
come see us as soon as possible man."
"I'd love to Jake, but damn, a man's gotta work for a living now and then. I can't just up and take
off to Colorado on a moment's notice ya know. I've got a real job now. Quil and I have a garage
that's doing a booming business keeping us steppin' and fetchin'."
"Embry, I'm proud for you guys. But as soon as you can, I want you to come out here. You've got to
see this place to believe it. You need to experience the 'Rocky Mountain High' for yourself."
"I'll work on it. I'll see what I can put together for a couple three days off. Meantime, can I share
all of this with the rest of the Pack? Even the shit about the Cullens?"
"Absolutely. They all have a right to know. And now that I'm out of that funny farm, and I've got
some of my shit together, I'll call my Dad and let him know what's what. Listen Emb, I gotta go
now, but I phase pretty regular around here, so I'll be in touch with whoever's patrolling soon,
okay? Later, dude!"
"Yeah, later Jake. Take care buddy."
Narrator POV
But Jacob was already gone. He had reached the new spot he wanted to show Laura and had dropped
to the ground to let her climb down. She began spreading the picnic blanket after releasing Jasmine
from her traveling pocket. The puppy ran straight to Jacob and began licking his naked toes just as
he'd phased back to human. He reached down and scooped up the little dachshund and nuzzled her
nose to nose before placing her on his shoulders where she draped herself around his neck, perfectly
at home with her Alpha.
"You'll never guess what just happened while I was wolfing us here."
"What?"
"I heard from one my Packmates from Washington."
"Oh no! No!"
"What's wrong honey?"
"Are you going back home? You're going to leave us?"
"No! Baby, never! C'mere now, I'm here with you forever. I promised you that! Did you not believe
me honey?"
"Yes, I did. Okay, I'm sorry. I panicked there for a second. I didn't mean to freak out. Who did you
talk to?"
"It was Embry. It was amazing Laura! From Washington to Colorado! I could hear him like he was
right over there. I've never heard any of them before. I don't know what's going on. By the way, I
hope I didn't overstep my bounds; I invited Embry to visit us. Is that okay?"
"Of course it's okay. On one condition."
"Anything my angel. What is it?"
"If he tries to take you back with him, I'm going to rip off his tail."
"Whoa-hoh! Okay, then, I'll tell him to keep his cotton-pickin' hands off of me baby. Honey, you
should know by now, as well as you know your own name, I am not leaving you. If I leave Colorado,
you're coming with me. And to be honest, I would never ask you to do that because there's something
about Colorado that has wormed its way into my heart and I really don't want to leave, certainly not
to go back to Washington. My home is here with you. I promise. Please believe that."
"Okay, I will work on keeping that knowledge in the front of my mind. Now, I think this is a good
time for me to confess something to you, since you've heard from someone back in La Push."
"Well, that's cryptic. What is it honey?"
"Let me start by begging you please not to be upset with me, cause it's something I've been keeping
my mouth shut about because it wasn't the right time. Promise you won't be too mad at me?"
"I'll try. But now you've got me worried already. You better tell me what's going on Laura."
"Okay, here goes. I already had an idea about your Alpha status. Barney and Phillip told me they
were pretty sure what you were. I didn't know if it was definite and Barney and Phillip asked me to
wait about discussing it with you. They wanted to see how their wolves reacted to you first."
"Jacob, please say something."
"What do you want me to say Laura?"
"I don't know. Something that lets me know you aren't mad at me."
"No Laura, I'm not mad at you. But dammit baby, is there anything else that you're holding back
from me? I can't take this secrecy from you!"
"No, there's nothing else. I swear. I'm sorry. It's not secrecy. It's not always my decision whether or
not to share things with you. There are others I have to consider."
"Can't you consider me for once?"
"Yes, oh Jacob. Of course, I consider you. This is all new to all of us. Phillip and Barney have never
encountered anyone as powerful as you, not to mention your wolf. They were completely taken by
surprise by so many things about you."
"Oh yeah, like what?"
"Well, just about everything. They didn't know for sure if you were a shape shifter. They didn't know
you would imprint on me. They didn't even know what imprinting was. They didn't know I would
fall in love with you. They didn't know you were the ultimate Alpha that they'd heard about in
various legends. And they didn't know that you had a connection with an entire coven of vampires,
much less that you'd been so closely connected to a couple of them."
"Let me ask you this...you fell in love with me before you knew anything about me, beyond the
basics, right?"
"That's right. I just fell in love with you, only you, Jacob, the man."
"Baby, I'm not connected to either of those vampires. You know that don't you?"
"I do. I think."
"You think?!"
"Jacob, I know you're not connected to Bella or Renesmee. But here's the problem. You're going
through some massive changes right now. They are mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. I can
really only sit in the background, pray that nothing happens to you, and hope beyond hope that I
really am your soulmate. I really can't have any direct influence over what happens to you in the next
few weeks."
"Laura, honey, I love you. That's not gonna change. My wolf loves you. Not gonna change. I'm
staying here in Colorado, or wherever you are. Not gonna change. As far as what might happen to
me in the coming weeks, I guess you mean it's got something to do with this ultimate Alpha shit.
Well, so be it. If that's who I am, that's who I am. I'm also your mate, your wolf. That's not gonna
change. You are my world, my life. Wherever I have to go, I'm taking you with me. Unless you
refuse to go."
"Then what?"
"Then I stay. No brainer."
"Well then, I'll never refuse to go with you. Where you go, I go."
"That's better. Much better. C'mere Jasmine. Momma is gonna feed us now."
"Oh Jacob, you're such a hopeless romantic."
"I am, but my stomach is not. Neither is Jasmine's."
May 31, 2013
La Push, Washington
Residence of Embry Call
"Hey Mom, did you already bring in the mail?"
"Yes I did son. It's on the kitchen table. You've got something. It's kind of a big envelope. Looks
important. Official."
Hmm, let's see. Junk, junk, advert, junk, bill, junk, bill. Here it is. Hey, it's from Colorado. This
might actually be something. From United Airlines. Tickets. Holy shit! 50 tickets! Airline tickets!
Let's see,...round trip from Seattle to Boulder and back home. Open dates, use whenever. First
class! Hmm, nice! Hey, here's another letter from Boulder. Impressive, hand written on fine
stationery no less.
Dear Mr. Call,
My name is Dr. Laura Frederick. Jacob Black was my patient and is now, for lack of a better
term, my fiancé. Jacob, as you may know, is living with me on my estate in Colorado. He tells
me that he has 'spoken' to you and has invited you to visit him here. Please consider this as my
blanket invitation to you, your Pack and their families to visit us here in Boulder. Mi casa, es su
casa. As they say. Please accept these tickets as a gift of friendship. You and your Pack are
Jacob's family, and that makes you my family as well. Please call anytime on the enclosed cell
and let us know when we can expect you. We will be at the airport to get you and take you home
with us. Can't wait to meet all of you.
Yours truly,
Laura Frederick
I sat at the kitchen table in stunned silence. Digging back into the envelope I pulled out the shiny
black cell phone and its charger. We should call her when we wanted to come visit. She's pretty
special I'd say. Got some money too. Impressive. I hoped Jake hasn't fallen into a trap of 'money
can get you anything'. I shuffled through the airline tickets only to discover they were open ended.
We could use them one at a time; or all at once. We could use them any day, any time, any flight.
They had no expiration date, ever. How do you buy tickets like this? What had Jake gotten mixed up
in? This reeked of the Cullens and their rampant spending. I hope this had nothing to do with them.
God how I hoped.