Salem

All that registered was blinding pain. Liquid fire raced through my veins and I heard someone screaming…myself. My throat was raw and I tasted blood, thick in my mouth. My eyes flashed open, feeling as though salt had been poured into them. It was dark, cold, and there…there were hands…glowing hands…pressure on my chest.

Healing…magic…

"Salem, Salem, listen." a warm hand took mine and the scent of spring rain overwhelmed the stink of blood and fear.

Leliana.

I squeezed her hand, clinging to her, anchoring myself in her, biting back the screams in my throat. The pain faded as I became grateful for it, accepting that it was dragging me across the ever blurring line between life and death.

"Close your eyes, my love." she whispered, pressing her lips to my cheek. "Close your eyes. I am here and it's almost over."

You have…no idea…of the truth of those words, I thought as the pressure on my chest eased.

"Much better." I heard a voice equally as dear to me.

"Is she out of danger?" Leliana asked, and I could hear the weariness and fear in her tone.

"For the moment, yes." Wynne reassured her and Leliana's sigh of relief sent joy into my aching heart. "She will need time to recover fully. It is quite possible that the fever will return, but that is natural and should not cause too much concern. Your physician friend did an excellent job of repairing the damage done by the knife, but we will have to watch carefully for continued internal bleeding."

"Can she be moved?" Leliana squeezed my hand, a reminder to remain still, to hold on.

I felt the cold of the stone table beneath me and nearly wept with the knowledge that Leliana desired my comfort…even after everything I had put her through.

I have been so unfair…so selfish. How foolish was I to believe that I could carry everything myself, that I could let her go without protest. I need her, I love her, and I want to be a source of her happiness, not a constant cause of sorrow.

"Salem," Wynne's voice, close to me, "open your eyes, dear girl."

I opened my eyes and looked at Wynne, mustering an upward quirk of my lips. "Thank…you." I rasped, hoping that this would be the last time that the senior enchanter's eyes filled with tears for my sake.

"My pleasure." Wynne brushed the moisture from her eyes and pursed her lips, adopting the stern healer's countenance that I remembered so well. "You are ordered to rest, Salem Cousland. No work, no strain, no protestations that you are well enough to move. You will remain here and do nothing. In a few days, perhaps, you might be able to make your way to more comfortable accommodations, but in your current condition, you must remain still. Do you understand?"

"As…you say." I gasped, finding that any attempt to take a deep breath was thwarted by a deep ache in my right side.

Where Esmerelle drove her blade. That scheming bitch…no. No. Such thoughts can be put aside.

"Leliana, I will go and speak with the Chantry sisters and see if anything can be found to make her more comfortable." Wynne patted my wife on the shoulder and left the room, leaving us alone in the moonlight.

Leliana came to my side, her eyes wet with tears, ringed with the dark circles of exhaustion. Color had drained from her cheeks, leaving her pale. But, as ever, I saw only her beauty.

"Can you…ever…forgive me?" I whispered, watching her lips tremble, her eyes fill with tears.

"Salem, you…" her voice broke, choked off by a sob.

"Did wrong." I forced my hand to move, reaching up and grasping the sleeve of her shirt. "I…never meant…to hurt you and in…in that…I…I closed myself off…to everything. I…I'm sorry."

"Stop." she begged, taking my hand in both of hers and pressing her lips to it. "You…you almost died, Salem. Please do not burden yourself with guilt."

"Not…not guilt." I struggled to explain, even as pain fissured through my body and I coughed at the taste of blood and ash in my throat. "Truth. I…I love you, Leliana. I…I promise…I will…I will change."

Her eyes widened with realization, the realization that I had always kept my promises, that the dark-hearted, grieving, hell bent woman she had returned to would fade away. I had found life, I had found truth, and somewhere, in the back of my mind, I knew I had seen the Maker, that we had spoken, and that I had been heard, but that my own bitterness had driven away any reply.

I want to spend my time, however short it may be…I want to spend it in joy, in laughter, in love. Death can wait, for it is not peace, and it is not final, and I have been given such great gifts in this lifetime, gifts that I desire to hold close to me and cherish.

"Will you?" Leliana asked, a heartbreaking hope in her gaze.

I removed my hand from hers and propped myself up on my elbows. Pain exploded in nauseating sparks, but I smiled. A true smile, such as I had not experienced or offered since Leliana had departed with the Seekers.

"I swear it."

Pressure built in my chest and I started coughing, hard and harsh and brutal, gasping for breath as pain from the stab wound radiated down my weakened leg and through my spine. Leliana wrapped her arms around me, soothing her hand up and down my back until the coughing mercifully ceased. I leaned against her chest, shuddering as I attempted to breathe, hating that I could not take her in my arms and prove to her my promises.

Leliana eased me back onto the stone table. "Wynne told you not to move, you idiot!" she hissed, looking into my scarred eyes as her expression softened.

"Forgive me?" I smiled again, wincing as my side began to burn with an intensity that did not fade.

"Rest." Leliana placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. "Let me care for you."

"You…you look tired." I protested, wanting her to rest, to ease the lines of worry from her face.

"Watching your wife battle with death is rather stressing." she mitigated the harshness of her words with a gorgeous smile. "And I could not possibly rest when you are in obvious pain."

I opened my mouth to argue…stopped. This is the beauty of my revelation. I…I cannot keep forcing myself to pretend strength. I am human; I am vulnerable. I can accept love; I can accept forgiveness.

"As you say."

Comfort filled me as her hand stroked through my lank hair, as her eyes looked into mine, brimming with emotion. "How badly are you hurting?" she asked, full of care and concern.

"It's horrible." I managed to confess, without pretense.

"I'm so sorry." she whispered. "So sorry that this happened, that I was not with you, that I have not been with you."

"That…no longer matters." I felt time melt away to nothing, grievances and bitterness wash away. "Past…is past. Let us…begin anew. Please?"

Leliana left the table and returned with a cup that reeked of herbs. "Drink this." she lifted my head and lifted the cup to my lips. I drained the vile tonic and gazed with admiring eyes at my lovely wife.

"Yes." she set the cup aside and placed a tender kiss on my lips. "We will begin anew. Now please, please rest. The woman who nearly killed you still walks free, and I fear, if she discovers that you live, she will attempt to rectify her mistake."

"Do not…worry for that." I whispered, feeling the tension in my muscles ease as the herbs began their work. "It will…be resolved."

"Sleep." Leliana stroked her fingers along my arm. "Escape the pain, Salem. For both our sakes."

"Can you," I closed my eyes, as she wished, "sing to me? I…I've missed your voice."

She took my hand in hers and a gentle, soft melody filled the air, a lullaby in a language I could not understand, but that did not matter. It was an angel's voice, an angel's gift, and I had never been so blessed as I was now…in this moment.