Author's Notes: A reminder that I don't own Big Time Rush or any of the characters borrowed from the show. If I made money off this it would be a good thing, but I don't.

Huge, massive thank you's to kathrynew30 and Aranelle for letting me spam them with fic. I don't know what I'd do without you guys. Probably stop writing. So thank you.

I am so sorry it's taken me this long to update. Part of it is work, and part of it is personal issues that I won't bore you with. Needless to say, I'm ready to get back into this. This chapter was supposed to wrap everything up and take us to the epilogue, but I got sidetracked by the need to write a little Kendall/Katie bonding time. It's not much, but I love Katie and wanted a little more of her before I end it. I'm pretty sure the next chapter will be the last, though who knows what'll happen once I get writing? I tend to ramble. As you can see from what you're reading right now. :P

The picture of James that Kendall refers to is actually what inspired this entire story. I can't link you to it here, but I made it my bio pic in case anyone wants to see it, so all you have to do is click on my bio link. It's crazy how one pic turned into a story that's more than 200 pages. I still can't believe it went this far. I have to say, this one was one of my favorites to write. I've always said "I Would Scream to the World" is my favorite of my stories, but this one comes pretty damn close to it in my heart. Not quite, but pretty close. I'm happy it's one you guys seem to love, too. :)

Obviously I'm still behind on replying to reviews. I'm catching up slowly. I appreciate every single one of them, guys. Every single one. I've mentioned before how I'll be having a bad day at work and then sit down on a break and read one and suddenly I'm smiling again? Yeah. You just have no idea how much they mean to me. Thank you.

Kendall allowed James to sleep while he and the guys rose early to eat breakfast and tackle their homework. He knew James hadn't slept well, being nervous about the meeting today and about whatever his mother would have to say. There was a part of James that still feared his mother would somehow keep this from happening, and when James started tossing and turning Kendall distracted him, tiring him out until he fell into sleep each time. This in turn kept Kendall up half the night as well, but he certainly didn't mind.

Around ten James padded out to the kitchen in sweats and a sleeveless t-shirt, his hair mussed and his feet bare. Kendall thought he'd never seen anything so beautiful. "Morning." He lifted his face up for a kiss.

James grumbled but pressed his lips to Kendall's before asking, "Food?"

"In the microwave," Logan answered. "I saved you a plate."

"My genius cooked breakfast, dude. All my favorites. Mrs. Knight says we're welcome to stay every night if he cooks breakfast," Carlos laughed.

Logan rolled his eyes. "Not gonna happen, Carlos. I knew it was the only way to get you out of bed."

Carlos shrugged. "Whatever works."

James heated his plate and then took the chair next to Kendall. "Sorry I kept you up all night. I tried to sleep."

"I know, and I didn't mind. It'll get easier; right now you're in a strange place and have a lot on your mind."

"It helps, having you there."

"Good. Did you put the roses somewhere safe?"

James nodded, shoveling food in. "Logan, these are the best pancakes I've ever tasted. When Kendall and I are rich, can we hire you to be our cook?"

"Sorry, I've got plans for my future. Carlos will be the only one who gets to enjoy my cooking on a daily basis."

Carlos beamed. "I don't mind cooking for you sometimes, too."

"Yeah, that's okay." At Carlos' frown, Logan asked, "Remember when you tried to impress me with macaroni and cheese?"

"Come on, it wasn't that bad!"

"The clean-up was. I thought for sure your mom was going to ban us from the kitchen forever."

"She wouldn't. She likes it when you help her. So uh. Logan. You think today we should do it? Have the talk?"

Kendall and James both raised their heads, James setting his fork down.

Logan let out a deep breath. "I guess we could. No sense in putting it off if they know. It's just...scary, you know?"

"Yeah," Carlos agreed. "But Kendall said my dad's cool with it, and I'm pretty sure mom is, too. It's just your mom we have to worry about."

"I'm not really worried. She probably knows. It won't be an easy conversation, though. Talking to parents about sex and boyfriends never is."

Kendall nodded, taking James' hand in his. "My mom still wigs out a little. Can't blame her, it's kind of an awkward thing."

James pushed his empty plate away with a sigh. "I'm surprised my mom didn't ask me to give up Kendall. Not that I would," he added hurriedly in case Kendall was worried, "but I expected her to beg me to forget about him and come home. Instead she wanted to know more about him."

Kendall chuckled. "Mom thought that once they saw us together, your parents would be okay with it. I tried to tell her that wouldn't happen."

"Can't change people, I guess." James made a happy sound as he drank orange juice. "Dude, is this fresh?"

Carlos nodded with a grin. "We found some oranges in the fridge, so Logan made us juice. Isn't he amazing?"

"Carlos, it's just orange juice," Logan argued, but as usual he was flattered.

"Amazing," Carlos repeated, leaning over to peck Logan on the cheek.

The phone rang but they ignored it, Kendall knowing his mother would grab it. A minute later she poked her head into the kitchen. "Honey, is James still-oh, you're awake. Your mom's on the phone for you."

Face draining of color, James nodded. "Thanks."

Kendall reached over for the kitchen extension. "It's fine. She's probably just-"

"What if she says she changed her mind? And why didn't she call my cell?" James wondered. "It's in the room, though. Maybe she did." He took the phone and raised it to his ear, Kendall calling out that his mother could hang up the other handset. "Hello?"

Watching his face, Kendall held James' hand while Logan stood to clean up his empty dishes. Whatever she said had James frowning, then he looked like he was close to tears. All he said was, "Okay. I'm not surprised. I'll talk to Mrs. Knight and see if we can work something out."

Kendall was ready to rage at the woman. It didn't really matter what she'd said, only that she'd upset James. "Can I talk to her?"

James shook his head. "I know. See you at noon. Bye." With a sigh he hung up. "Dad shut off my phone. I didn't even look at it this morning."

Breathing his own sigh of relief, Kendall said, "Don't worry about it. Mom will add you onto our plan. You have to have a phone, James."

"But she's already doing so much for me. I can't ask for that."

"She'll want to know you're okay, trust me. That's why I have a phone, and why Katie does, even though she's only ten. It's hard to find pay phones so Mom got us our own. You're pretty much her kid now, you know."

Touched, James smiled and leaned into Kendall. "Still, that costs money and-"

"Mom!" Kendall suddenly yelled. "James' dad shut off his phone, can we get it turned back on?"

She joined them in the kitchen. "Your cell phone?"

"Yeah," Kendall answered. "He needs a phone, right?"

"Absolutely. Especially if he'll be gone so much. Don't even worry, honey, we'll get you set up. I like knowing where my kids are."

"Uh oh." Kendall stood up, knowing what those words would do to James, and sure enough James was making his way to the bedroom in a hurry.

"What? What did I say?"

"It's fine, Mom. James isn't used to people treating him like family. Thank you for being awesome." After kissing her cheek, Kendall headed down the hall and into his room, where James was playing with his phone. "You okay?"

James only nodded and Kendall smiled. "Told you. You're family now."

"It's just weird."

"Good weird?"

"Definitely." James bit his lip, finally looking up from his phone. "It's been a long time since I've felt wanted by a parent. I'm not used to it."

"But it wasn't always like that, right?" Kendall asked, walking to the dresser and pulling out the framed picture he knew James had hidden there beneath his clothes. James looked down again, and Kendall joined him on the bed. "When did it change?"

"When my grandparents visited once. I competed while they were here and I won, I kicked everyone else's ass but all my grandpa could say was 'You want to nip that in the bud now, son. You don't want him growing up to be a fairy.'"

Rage rose in Kendall and he wondered if he'd ever have the chance to punch all of these people who had hurt James so deeply. "His dad?"

"No. My mom's." Continuing to absently mess with his phone, James added, "My dad was never the same after that. I had a few great years skating, and then everything changed. Suddenly my dad was discouraging me, telling me I'd never make it and I should just give up, do something that I could go somewhere with."

"How old were you?"

"I don't know, like eight? My mom signed me up for skating when I was five because she loved to do it. It was our thing. She never wanted to make a career of it for herself, I don't think, but she loved to watch me skate. Told me I had a future."

"What the fuck, James? How do you go from supporting your son to just letting it drop?"

"It all changed when Dad wanted me to stop. She would never go against him, and while he was okay with it, everything was fine. When he wasn't, she didn't say much. I fought to keep skating through junior high, and the only reason I got away with it is because she said she'd sign me up for hockey, too. I guess she tried, in her own way."

"It wasn't enough." Kendall shook his head. "She should've told your dad to fuck off and taken you away. Look how it ended up, she totally lost you. It's her own fault." When James didn't respond, Kendall snatched the phone away and tossed it aside, forcing James to look at him. There were tears in James' eyes and again Kendall wanted to punch the people that put them there. "Listen to me. You are beautiful and talented and worth every single one of these people who love you. They're going to regret it someday, realize that losing you was a mistake, and when they do I'll be right there next to you because I'm not going anywhere. Through everything to come, your hockey-playing boyfriend will be at your side and watching you succeed and you're amazing, you're perfect the way you are and I'll tell you that every day if I have to, until you believe it and-"

He never finished, James' lips silencing him as his hands held Kendall close with a grip on his shirt. Kendall kissed him back fervently, trying to prove the words through it.

"I love you so much," James whispered as he pulled back some, slightly out of breath. "All of you, your mom and Logan and Carlos and Heather and even Katie. She let me use the last of the toothpaste yesterday."

"Wow, for Katie that's pretty good. She's warming up to you."

"I sure hope so," James laughed. "It sounded like she felt sorry for me."

"Take what you can get."

James hugged Kendall close with a smile, spying the picture next to him on the bed. He picked it up and studied it, one arm still around Kendall. "I'll never have this again. I gave up on it a long time ago, but I still need to let it go."

"Replace it with new memories. A new family. Give me your phone."

"It doesn't work, babe."

"Just give it to me."

James had to search for it, as Kendall had tossed it up near the pillows, but he found it and passed it to Kendall. He watched Kendall play with it, then Kendall wrapped his arm around James and leaned his head on James' shoulder, lifting the phone up. "Smile!"

James laughed and Kendall took the picture, then grinned. "Aww, look at us! We're adorable!"

"Oh my god, Kendall, shut up. Let me see." James dragged Kendall's hand closer and smiled. "We are, aren't we? Too bad I don't have any service or I'd send that to your phone. Maybe I should send it to my dad," he joked.

"Don't tempt me." Kendall dug out the tiny memory card and replaced the one in his own phone with it. "Saving it to mine in case you can't get this phone working again. Wow, you don't have a lot of pictures on your phone."

James shrugged. "Just a few of me and Heather and-oh shit, give me that." Panicked, James tried to grab the phone.

"Wait, what?" Kendall stood up, turning away and hunching in to keep it from James. He scrolled through a few pics of Heather skating and then his eyes widened. "James. Is this from my first day?"

Blushing, James shrugged. "I thought you were hot."

"How did you take this?" It was a picture of Kendall sitting alone at a chemistry table, eyes down on his notebook as he was most likely taking notes and trying not to stare at James.

"It wasn't hard. Just aimed my phone and went for it. Had to be sneaky and twist weird, and I was terrified you'd catch me."

"And Carlos didn't notice? Then again, it's Carlos." Kendall suddenly cracked up, pulling James into his arms. "Fuck, I love you. Where's my memory card?" James found that on the bed and handed it to Kendall, who switched them out. "Come look at this."

James wrapped his arms around Kendall's waist and looked down over his shoulder while Kendall pulled up the pictures on his own phone. "This isn't from my first day, but pretty close."

This picture showed James walking on campus with Brock, heading toward Kendall as Brock scowled. His hair was windblown but as always James was breathtakingly gorgeous. "I wanted you, no matter what I said."

Shaking his head, James kissed Kendall's neck. "I remember that. I had no idea you took a picture. We're crazy."

"We just knew it was right. There was a reason I couldn't stop thinking about you. One night I laid in bed and actually tried to figure out how to stop thinking about you."

"Really?" James asked, amused.

"Yeah. Didn't work."

"Thank god." James spun Kendall around and kissed him. "Don't ever do that again."

"With you right next to me? I think that would be impossible."

"Good. I'll make sure that's always the case, then."

"And you say I'm a sap."

"Whatever. You made me this way."

Kendall gave James a soft kiss and whispered, "Winning you over is my greatest achievement."

James seemed to melt in his arms. "I love you, Kendall."

"Exactly. You ready to go make your dreams come true?"

"Not really. I feel kind of sick about it."

"That's just the orange juice," Kendall teased. "Come on. Get in the shower and make yourself prettier."

With a blinding smile, James did.

Stephen's office was small, only boasting two chairs other than his own. He gave it up to Mrs. Knight and offered to get another, but James quickly shoved Kendall into one and sat on his lap, saying they were fine. Kendall knew James was only doing it to make a point to Mrs. Diamond, who was seated in the third chair, and tightened his arms around James' waist to pull him back. When Mrs. Knight gave them an exasperated look, Kendall grinned at her and pressed a light kiss to James' shoulder.

They talked for two hours, planning out James' daily schedule and making sure everyone understood what this would entail. Kendall had known James would be devoted full-time to skating, but it still seemed crazy that he wouldn't see James at all until the afternoon. He'd be sure to make hockey practice every day, not only because of James but because as captain he needed to. It didn't hurt knowing James would be in the same building and he could at least smile at James on his way downstairs for practice; maybe he could even coax James into a quick break so they could talk for a few minutes. While Logan, Heather, and Kendall would work with James (as well as Carlos) in the evenings, Mrs. Knight and Mrs. Diamond both insisted on the tutor giving him lessons at least three times a week, which Stephen agreed to. James brought up the money issue and he was hushed by all three adults, who told him it would be taken care of.

This surprised Kendall, mostly because he didn't see how Mrs. Diamond would be any help in that area and knew his own mother could only contribute so much. She'd been talking about getting a job now that the kids were settled into a routine and while Kendall was more than happy to devote any money to James he could, he understood it wasn't his mother's responsibility to fund James' career. Then again, Stephen did have money put aside, so there was that.

James wouldn't be entered into any competitions for at least a month to get him back into the groove both mentally and physically, and Saturdays would be half days because Stephen knew James would want to watch Kendall play. This made Kendall extremely happy, and it got better when Stephen suggested Sunday as a full day of rest. "Sundays will be our day," Kendall said softly, hugging James to him.

James smiled and leaned back against him, squeezing his hand. "I hope there are some Chargers games coming up on Sundays. That was a lot of fun."

"Yeah, it was."

"Will you help me if I need extra practice? Maybe sometimes we can come out here after dinner if your mom lets us and I can try new moves out, show you the routines and get some feedback?"

"Of course." Kendall gave his mother hopeful eyes.

She rolled her own eyes but couldn't keep a smile away. "Once in a while, boys. Don't make it a habit, I don't want you out too late. And you'll both need time for homework."

"Don't worry, Mom, Logan will make sure we stay on track with that. Trust me." He felt Mrs. Diamond's eyes on him but ignored it, not wanting to know what she might be thinking; she'd brought this upon herself.

It was decided that the official training would begin Tuesday morning, contingent on Mrs. Diamond getting James set up with the schooling. She seemed more than willing to move forward with it, and the more they talked the faster Kendall felt James' tension rolling away—she wouldn't be an obstacle. As she had been his last fear on stopping it from actually happening, James knew this was going to work. Now all he had to do was be the best.

"You know," Kendall murmured as the adults wrapped up their conversation, "you don't have to win. I think you will, and I think you know that, but even if you don't-living the dream is enough, right?"

James considered it and nodded. "Yeah. It is. As long as I'm out there doing what I love, I'll be happy. But you know what it's like to be the best, of course you want it."

"Of course," Kendall agreed. "But either way, I'll be right there next to you. So win or lose, you've still got me."

"Then I definitely win."

Would Kendall ever get used to James tossing out romantic comments like that? Probably not. And that was perfectly fine with him.

"Kendall, go get your sister, we're almost done here."

Nodding at his mother, Kendall stood and moved toward the office door, James about to follow until Mrs. Diamond asked to speak to him. He smiled at Kendall before giving her his attention while Kendall's mother spoke to Stephen.

Kendall found Katie skating with a boy who looked about fourteen. He called out to her that they were leaving and she scowled at him, then kept skating. He called her again and she sighed, saying a few words to the boy before joining him off the ice. "I think he was gonna ask me out, why'd you have to interrupt?"

"Because he's too old for you and we're leaving. It's my job to ruin your chances with boys."

"Oh yeah? Because I could make James' life very difficult, you know."

"But you won't. James says you're warming up to him."

Katie shrugged, sitting down to take off her skates. "He's not so bad. Showed me a few moves on my game I didn't know about. I don't think even the cheat guides have those. He's pretty smart when it comes to video games."

"Is he? We haven't played yet. Logan knows a lot but won't share because then Carlos wants to skip all the hard stuff and Logan says it helps him build character or something. I don't know. I'll have to play with James sometime."

As they walked toward the counter to return Katie's skates, Kendall asked, "So you approve then? Of James?"

"Yeah, I guess. I'd still rather have Carlos as a big brother, but Mom says you can't help who you fall in love with."

"That's the truth. If you could, James and I probably wouldn't be together. We didn't want to like each other."

"But you guys are good together. He makes you happy. So I guess everything works out eventually, right?"

"Yeah, I guess it does. Thanks for making him feel welcome. It's not easy for him right now."

"I know." Katie set her skates up on the counter. "Can you buy me a soda?"

"Where's your money?"

"Uh...I might've loaned it to that hot guy just now."

"Katie, don't ever go for a guy who asks for money."

"But he's hot!"

"I don't care. If all he wants you for is your money, he's not worth it."

"But he's hot," Katie repeated.

Kendall shook his head and put an arm around her shoulders. "Come on, let's go get a soda. I thought I had a few more years before you started looking at guys. What happened?"

"Hormones, dude. We all grow up sometime."

"You're ten years old!"

"Almost eleven. I'll be driving before you know it."

That brought Kendall up short. "You've got at least five years, don't rush it. Why are you in such a hurry to grow up? I don't even drive yet."

"You could. Get James to teach you. Then you guys could chaperone me on dates. It would be way better than Mom doing it."

"Don't bet on that. We'd probably make you sit three feet apart."

"Still, you're not a parent. And that way I'll know if my guy gets along with you. That matters, you know? My guy has to accept my bro and his boyfriend or he's out."

They approached the counter, Katie giving her order while Kendall stared down at her in surprise. Sometimes Katie managed to say just the right thing, exposing the heart under her tough exterior, and this was why they were as close as they were—when it mattered, they were there for each other. He was glad James would have Katie in his corner now, too.

"There you are!"

Katie ignored her while Kendall reached into his pocket for money, passing it to Katie before facing his mom. "Katie wanted a soda."

"That's fine, but we have to get home because now I have to cook. We've been invited to a barbecue at Carlos' house."

"Whoa, really? When?"

"In a few hours. They invited Logan's mom, too, want all of us to get together and hang out so we can get to know each other. Their place is easiest because they have the most kids to lug around."

That was a good sign, though maybe the boys hadn't had the talk with their parents yet.

"Also, we need to talk, Kendall. Apparently you left out some important information about Logan and Carlos that I might've needed to know before allowing a sleepover."

Or maybe they had. Kendall cleared his throat, nervous, but she didn't look particularly angry—maybe just a bit annoyed. "Um. Yeah, we can talk on the way home. Or maybe once we get there, without Katie around."

"You're helping me with the potato salad, so we'll talk in the kitchen. James can keep Katie busy."

"Okay, sure. Where is he?"

"Still talking to his mom. I had to leave to take the call from Sylvia." When Kendall started to move, his mother held him back. "Give them their time, honey. You can't be with James every minute."

"It's not that, I just know how hard it is for him to talk to her. She really hurt him, Mom. I won't let her do it again."

"Honey, she's his mother. She wouldn't knowingly hurt him." At Kendall's raised eyebrow, she amended her statement. "Okay, she made a huge mistake. But she realizes it and is doing her best to make up for it. You have to let her do that." When Kendall was still quiet, she added, "And if he decides to go home to her, you have to let him do that."

While the idea didn't sit well with Kendall at all, he conceded, "As long as she accepts me and welcomes me the way you've accepted him."

Kendall spun around, hearing James' laugh. He and his mother were approaching and James looked relaxed, more at peace than Kendall had seen him since they'd stormed out of his home. He knew his mother was right, and knew that James needed his own mother in his life, but he still felt that need to protect.

James slid a hand into Kendall's, squeezing. "You ready to go enjoy our Sunday together? It is our day, after all."

Grinning, Kendall replied, "I'd love to, except we have a barbecue to go to. Mrs. Garcia invited us all over. And I have to help mom make potato salad while you keep Katie busy."

"Oh. That's cool. Did they uh..." James trailed off, glancing at Mrs. Knight before looking back at Kendall.

"I'm pretty sure, yeah," Kendall answered.

James' mother pulled him in for a hug. "I'll see you tomorrow, Jamie. Be ready at eight, okay? And have fun tonight."

"Thanks, I will." James hugged her tight. "And thank you for everything else. It means a lot to me."

"It's what I should've done from the start." She stepped back and smiled at Mrs. Knight, then started to walk away but stopped when Mrs. Knight spoke to her.

"You're invited, too, you know. I don't know how comfortable you feel hanging out with all of us, and especially Officer Garcia, but when I mentioned you were here Sylvia told me to invite you as well. And I think it would mean a lot to James."

James nodded "It would, Mom. I want you to meet everyone. I told you, if you want to be part of my new life, you're welcome to."

Kendall had to look away from the emotions in her eyes, not wanting to forgive her but she made it hard when she loved her son so much.

"And if you want me to be there tonight, I will," James added. "That's more important right now."

What? What the hell was more important, Kendall wondered. He gave James a questioning look but James squeezed his hand, letting him know they'd talk about it later.

"No, I'm going to do this on my own. But thank you, Jamie." She stepped forward and kissed her son on the cheek. "You've become such an amazing young man, and I'm so proud of you. I'm going home to talk to your father right now and I'll call you and let you know how it goes. I have Jennifer's number in my phone. And let me know as soon as you have a phone, or we can do that tomorrow if you want."

"We'll work it out," Mrs. Knight commented. "Just call me and you can talk to James anytime before then."

"I love you, Mom." James hugged her tight again. "You sure you don't want me there?"

"No. Go have fun with your friends. I'll be in touch." She smiled at him after stepping back.

Kendall watched her walk away, James' hand safely in his again. "What's going on?"

Looking more than a little shocked, James replied, "She's moving out. Staying with her sister for a few days until she knows whether or not my dad's going to give her money or she'll have to fight for it in court. Basically she's leaving my dad and filing for divorce unless he changes his mind about me. And we all know that's not gonna happen."

"I don't know, James," Mrs. Knight argued, "if he stands to lose his wife that might wake him up and-"

"You don't know him. He's not gonna change."

Kendall nodded in agreement. "He's not, Mom. But James, she's really doing that? Why?"

"Because she loves me and isn't willing to lose me completely. So once she gets her own place she said I can live with her, but I don't know. I'm kind of happy where I'm at."

"Only kind of?" Kendall pouted.

"Shut up, I only said that for a reaction. The truth is I'm insanely happy where I'm at and I'll stay as long as you guys will have me."

"Which is forever. Tell him, Mom. Tell him it's forever."

Mrs. Knight gave an exasperated sigh. "Yes, Kendall, it's forever. We've established this. Although you kids will need to move out at some point. But not anytime soon," she added hurriedly. "And where's Katie?"

They glanced around in surprise, none of them having noticed her slip away. Kendall zeroed in on her near the ice, talking to that boy again. "Oh, he's gonna be trouble."

"Katie! We're leaving, let's go!"

She rolled her eyes and said her goodbyes, though Kendall noticed her slipping her phone into her pocket. They'd exchanged numbers? Oh yeah, this guy would definitely be trouble. "We need to watch out for that one, James."

"Yeah, I know that guy. He's a little sleazeball. Charms the girls into giving him money."

"I knew it!"

"Don't worry, I'll have a talk with him. He won't go near Katie when I'm done with him."

Kendall grinned. "This is awesome. Now we can double-team her."

"Boys, be nice. Katie, let's go! I have potato salad to cook, and that stuff takes time!"

"So did Logan and Carlos tell their parents?" James asked quietly.

"I think so. Mom made a comment that makes me pretty sure. She doesn't seem too mad, though. We're gonna talk about it while I help her cook."

"I hope she doesn't ground us."

"She might. But again—as long as I'm there with you, it doesn't really matter."

"No, I don't suppose it does." James leaned down for a kiss, Kendall melting into it.

He was going to love James' new life.