Disclaimer: I seriously do not own The Walking Dead, or anything in its relation. Seriously.

Warning: This is rated M for language, gore, and suggestive themes.

Note: This chapter is told entirely from Shane's point of view, just a head's up to avoid confusion.

"Quiet people have the loudest minds."

—Stephen Hawking

Shaken and Shattered

SPOV

Shane entered the crafts room, Rick following in after him, and his heart sank a bit more when the others looked up at them hopefully from where they all sat on the floor. Hungry, tired, scared. He wished he had more to offer them. Especially the kids.

He, Rick, Daryl, and Glenn had returned to the cars and grabbed everyone's bag, bringing them up to the crafts room where the others had all gathered. The other rooms in the upstairs hallway of the nursing home had been cleared, but no one seemed to want to venture away from the group, feeling safer together, he assumed. Even Jenna hadn't ventured off on her own, as he'd half expected her to have done by now, but seeing her free hand clasped around Dusty's, he thought he may have understood her reason for staying at her friend's side. Dusty had just lost Jacki, whom she'd been very close to from the beginning. Before Shane had even met them.

"They ransacked the kitchen," he told them regretfully, holding up the single can of garbanzo beans so they could see it. "All we found is the one can," he said, tossing said can to Daryl, who caught it readily before passing it to Glenn.

"They hit up the dispensary too—pulled the door off its hinges," said Rick. "Took everythin, except this," he said, handing the box of cough drops to Lori.

Glenn knelt down and busied himself with preparing plates of the miniscule amounts of food for everyone, dividing the beans up into equal proportions.

"Came back for cough drops an' garbanzo beans," said Daryl, shaking his head.

"Is there any water?" Sophia asked hopefully, peering up at Shane and Rick.

Shane pulled the bottle from his bag and handed it to the child. "Just the one bottle I brought," he told her as she took it gratefully. "Just a few sips, okay honey? Gotta make it last…"

She nodded eagerly and took a sip of water.

"Actually, here…" said Jenna's voice quietly from where she sat on the floor beside Dusty with Thao in her lap, and Shane turned to see her unzipping her bag. "Pass these around if people are thirsty," she said, handing Dusty a bottle of water, and then handing another to Dale in the other direction so the bottles could circulate around the group. She pulled out a third and tossed it over to Daryl across the room.

"Saved by the Mouse," said Daryl amusedly, twisting off the cap and taking a drink before passing the bottle off to Rick.

Jenna didn't seem to hear him, for she kept her eyes down, running her hand up and down Thao's arm gently. The faraway set of her eyes told Shane her mind was elsewhere. He wished she would be more in the habit of voicing her thoughts, as they were usually worth sharing, he'd noted. Why was she so willing to dive in and act, recklessly and dangerously, but unwilling to speak up? The woman was a bit of a conundrum.

"What else you got in there?" Dusty asked Shane, nodding at his bag, which he was still digging through.

He sat back down and pulled out a small bag of potato chips, waving it at her with a smirk, and she laughed.

"Salty snacks," said Daryl with amusement.

Shane laughed lightly in agreement as he tossed the bag to Dusty. "Courtesy of the CDC," he said, proceeding to toss each of the others a bag of their own. "Thought I'd be havin midnight snacks in my air-conditioned room…didn't know it'd be dinner." He reached into his bag then and pulled out a bottle of wine. "And this."

"Would you like to share?" Daryl asked hopefully, taking a seat at Shane's left.

"Seein as I owe you my life," said Shane, passing the bottle to him. "See, I, uh… See, I'ma go ahead and be nice to you from now on," he joked, and Jenna let out a small breath of laughter from where she sat, smirking, perhaps glad to see the two of them getting along voluntarily for once.

"Think I earned the first swallow," Daryl agreed, popping off the cap and pouring himself a cup. "Mouse, offer still stands," he added jokingly.

Jenna smirked again, glancing up at him. "I'll take a rain check," she said quietly.

Daryl laughed lightly as he passed the bottle to Dale. "Suit yourself, but I'ma get you one of these days."

She just breathed a short laugh, and returned her attention to her plate of food, moving the beans around on her plate with her fingers absently, seeming to be lost in thought again.

"Let's go easy on that stuff," said Lori in a mildly chastising tone as she opened Carl's bag of chips for him. "Let's not forget where we are," she said pointedly.

"Yes ma'am," Daryl replied sarcastically without missing a beat.

Dale stood and moved across the room, catching Shane's attention, and the old man made his way over to Andrea a bit cautiously, holding a plate of food out to her while she gazed ahead without bothering to look up at him. He knelt down in front of her, concern etched all over his face, and she reluctantly took the plate from him, though she refused to make eye-contact.

"You alright?" Dale asked her gently.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Andrea replied dully, setting her plate down beside her. "I'm spending the night in a building that stinks so badly of rotten bodies I wanna vomit up my guts, I'm dining on condiments, and hoping I don't get eaten by dead cannibal freaks before dawn," she said. "What's not to like?"

Shane noticed that Jenna's attention had apparently been snagged by the older woman's rant, for her fingers had stilled over the plate and her eyes had shifted over in that direction. Judging by her expression, she didn't seem to appreciate the older woman's pessimism too much.

"Thank you, Dale," finished Andrea, her eyes cold and hard as she finally met the old man's gaze.

Dale blinked, stunned, and rose to stand again before retreating from the room, bringing a plate of food out to T-Dog, who was keeping watch over the stairway. The room had grown tense and quiet, and Shane caught Jenna shaking her head slightly before stroking Thao's hair gently with her other hand.

A water bottle circulated around to Shane and he took a quick drink, wanting to make their scarce water supply last as long as possible.

Lori stood up and stepped over to Rick, who stood by the window, periodically peering through the shades to keep watch. There was a lot of truth in what Daryl had said earlier—they had more reason to worry about whoever had come in and massacred all of these people than they did about whatever walkers lurched around outside.

"What's next?" she asked him. "We need to decide."

Rick turned around and looked at Shane. "Fort Benning," he said, and Shane nodded. "I shoulda listened to you, Shane," he said regretfully. "An' you, Jenna," he added, looking over at her. She just glanced up at him for a moment before casting her eyes back downward. "Woulda saved us a lot of grief if I had," Rick continued. "Jacki would still be alive."

"That was her choice," Jenna voiced gently, running a hand up and down Dusty's shoulder soothingly as the other girl ducked her head.

"Man, do not take that on," Shane advised in agreement. "That wasn't on you."

"It was her choice," Lori agreed, placing a comforting hand on Rick's arm. "It was her decision to make, not yours, no more 'n it was with Jim."

Rick remained silent, and Shane doubted whether he took their words to heart.

"All these people," Glenn said after a pause, shaking his head. "Who would've done something like this? Just…come in here and murder everybody…even all the old people—how sick is that?"

"Glenn," said Jenna, gaining his attention.

He looked over at her and she made a quick slashing motion in front of her neck, displaying the universal sign telling him to cut it out. The boy nodded abruptly, and Jenna turned her attention back to Thao, running her hand across the child's shoulders in a gentle, reassuring motion when he peered up at her questioningly. She murmured to him in a low, soothing tone, her words to soft to carry beyond the little boy's ears.

"Is that somethin we need to be discussing right now?" Lori scolded Glenn, shooting him a stern look as she returned to her place on the floor beside Carl.

"I think it'd be best if we all got some sleep, hm?" Shane suggested lightly to the group, rising out of his seat.

He nodded at Rick and Daryl discreetly, and they nodded back, understanding. Rick turned to Glenn, gesturing for the boy to follow them as they made their way out of the room and into the dark hallway, just out of earshot.

"Hey," Shane said to Glenn in a hushed tone, "kids in there are terrified, an' the women," he told him.

"Guys, I'm really sorry," Glenn apologized sincerely, his voice heavy.

"Mouse's the only one in there who don't look scared," Daryl commented, referring to Jenna, Shane knew. Suddenly, she'd become Mouse to most of them, which he found to be mildly amusing.

"She doesn't look scared of anything," said Glenn, a hint of awe in the boy's voice. "I mean, did you see the way she took out those walkers earlier, when you were stuck?" he asked, looking over at Shane. "I wouldn't have been able to do it, not like that."

"Yeah, she's…full of surprises," noted Rick, nodding.

Shane turned to Rick then. "I say it's time we started listenin to her a little more, hm?" he suggested. "She what she's got to say?"

The little woman may have been frustratingly quiet and hostile when she felt threatened, but she had saved Shane's ass twice today, and he was not about to forget that in a hurry.

"Hell, you won't hear me complainin," said Daryl, taking a swig of wine from the bottle. Somehow, it seemed to have circulated back to him rather quickly.

Rick looked around at the three of them, seeing the general consensus among them, and nodded his agreement. "Glenn, you wanna go an' bring her out here?" he asked, and Glenn nodded before returning to the crafts room. "Did she tell any of you how she knew about Jenner's wife?" he asked Shane and Daryl. "How Jenner knew 'bout her boyfriend—Alex?"

Shane shook his head, but Daryl nodded.

"In the truck," he began, swallowing a second swig of wine, "I asked her about that too. She told me she talked to Jenner last night in the mess hall."

"She don't tend to share much information with others, does she?" Rick asked, frowning in contemplation.

"I don't think she's had much reason to up until recently," Shane replied reasonably.

Rick nodded in agreement. "You mind talkin to her?" he asked Shane. "See if she knows anythin else we should?"

Shane nodded a bit reluctantly, not liking having to play spy for Rick.

Rick turned around and Shane looked over his shoulder when Glenn returned down the hallway with Jenna by his side, a bottle of water in her hands. She approached them, coming to a stop a couple feet away, her eyes moving from each of them in question.

"We'd like to hear your take on things," Rick explained to her, and she turned her eyes up to him. "It's pretty clear that we can count on your judgment more often than not, if you don't mind sharin your thoughts."

She turned her eyes from Rick to Daryl and ultimately landing on Shane. Seeing the puzzlement in her eyes, he nodded encouragingly at her.

"Alright," she said eventually.

Rick nodded, and then addressed all four of them. "We're all rattled an' exhausted. No one's thinkin clearly, but we have to start. Our lives depend on it."

"Damn right," Shane agreed solemnly. "We can't ever let our guard down again…" He picked up a lantern that had been set in the hallway as they began to make their way toward the staircase where T-Dog was keeping watch. "Back at camp, havin us a fish fry, no one on watch. A lot of people died—people that didn't need to."

They came to a stop around the top of the stairway, gathering around, and T-Dog and Dale looked up at them. Jenna handed T-Dog the water bottle, and he took a drink gratefully before passing it back to her.

"Fort Benning," said Rick to them as a group, looking around, "that's the consensus?"

T-Dog shrugged indifferently. "Anywhere but here."

Rick and Shane looked over at Jenna, who had leaned her back against the wall where she stood between Glenn and Daryl, arms folded lazily over her middle, legs crossed causally at the ankles. She looked to be the picture of ease, but Shane knew otherwise. Group gatherings were not her favorite events.

"How about you?" Rick asked her. "Fort Benning?"

She quirked her closed lips over to the side and then shrugged slightly. "You don't wanna hear what I have to say," she said simply.

"No, Jenna, we do," Rick insisted, turning to face her more fully. "We should've listened to you before—I should've listened to you sooner. If I had, things woulda been different today."

She put a hand up lightly to halt him, shaking her head. "No, what I mean is…you're not gonna like what I have to say. And I don't exactly wanna rain on anyone's parade, especially not tonight. These people need something to hold onto—something to hope for," she said, jerking a thumb toward the hallway that led to the crafts room.

"I'd still like to hear your opinion," Rick told her honestly.

She sighed slightly and nodded, resigned. "Can't say I didn't warn you," she said dryly. "I'm a bit biased on this one, but…I'd rather not venture into anything the military's in control of."

"You don't trust em," Shane understood.

"No, I don't," she confirmed.

"What about your military boyfriend?" Daryl asked, puzzled, and Shane wished he'd kept that comment to himself. That was a bit harsh.

Jenna didn't even bat an eye, however, and just turned her gaze to him easily. "Dead," she said simply, "along with his family—courtesy of the military." Shane lowered his head solemnly, wishing she didn't have to share this with any of them. It wasn't their place to hear it. "None of them were touched by a walker, there wasn't a single scratch or bite between the four of them. I know this because that's how I found them. Their house hadn't even been reached by walkers, that whole block had just been massacred by the military unit that was in the area. It wasn't that different from what we found here. They were all shot, standard military protocol—two to the chest, one to the head."

Shane closed his eyes, trying not to recall the massacre he'd seen in the hospital back in King County.

"So no, I don't trust them, because that's the way I've seen the military handle things," she continued, and Rick hung his head. "But like I said, I'm biased here," she granted honestly. She paused and looked between Shane and Rick, her demeanor strangely calm. "If you guys truly believe Fort Benning is our best option, then I'm not gonna fight you," she assured them.

"Will you stick with us?" Shane asked, wanting to be sure of that. "If that's the way we decide to go, will you stick with us?"

She held his gaze for a moment, seeming to deliberate, and then nodded. "Unless I find a reason not to, I'll stick with you," she said honestly.

Shane nodded, accepting that that was the strongest guarantee they'd be getting from her, and she turned her eyes back over to Rick.

"You're agreeing to try for Fort Benning?" he asked, to be clear, and she nodded, albeit a bit reluctantly. "Alright, thank you," he said, seemingly glad to have come to an agreement, and then moved onto the next matter at hand. "We're wastin fuel drivin so many vehicles—we need to lose a few," he told them. "We'll syphon the gas outta whatever cars we don't take. That should get us free of the city."

"That'd be a start," Shane agreed. "Let's jus' try to get a little shut-eye tonight, okay?" he urged them, and they nodded, finding no desire to protest. "T," he said to T-Dog, "I'll spell you in an hour," he promised the man, who nodded again.

"I can do that," said Jenna. "I'm not tired—I'll be up."

Shane contemplated, and then nodded in agreement. "Alright," he said. "I'll spell you in two hours, then."

She nodded and patted T-Dog's shoulder as the rest of them returned the room with the others. Jenna moved over to Thao immediately, and removed her sweatshirt, folding it to form a makeshift pillow for the child.

"Time to go to sleep, alright?" she told him in a soft voice, stroking his hair back gently as he lay down, peering up at her. "I'll be right here."

The child nodded, content with that, and took hold of her other hand before closing his eyes. In a few minutes, he'd nodded off to sleep. Jenna continued to move her fingers through his smooth black hair, gazing off into the distance silently while the conversation in the room died down. Carl and Sophia settled down to sleep soon after, and the others tried to make themselves as comfortable as possible on the hard floor to do the same.

Eventually, most everyone had drifted off to sleep, no matter how uncomfortable their situation was—they were exhausted, physically and mentally. The only ones who remained awake were Shane, Rick, Daryl, and Jenna, not including T-Dog, who was still on watch. None of them spoke, and Rick continued to check out the window periodically.

Just as Shane was closing his heavily-lidded eyes, Jenna reached out and turned Dusty's left hand over. Checking the time on her watch, apparently, she turned Dusty's hand back over and gently removed her other hand from Thao's as she stood up. She checked the magazine in her Beretta before stowing the gun back into her belt, pulled the covered machete from her bag, and headed out into the hallway to relieve T-Dog of watch duty.

T-Dog entered the room a minute later and settled down to sleep almost immediately, thoroughly exhausted.

Shane closed his eyes, telling himself he'd just sit back and relax for a bit while he could. Before he knew it, he had drifted off to sleep as well.