The Bodyguard

Happy Hogan pulled the rented sedan over in the alley near the back door of Tony Stark's favorite restaurant in Chicago. Tony and the love of his life, Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark Industries, were celebrating a profitable business deal with a Chicago-based energy company.

They knew Carlo Benedetti would fix them a feast fit for Italian nobility in honor of their triumph. When Happy stopped, Tony slid out and offered his hand to the svelte, strawberry blonde who — God knew — put up with so much from him.

"I was good today, wasn't I?" he smirked, his dark goatee giving his lean face a sardonic air that was not misleading at all.

"You were very well behaved today, Tony," Pepper answered, seeking and achieving the tones of a kindergarten teacher praising a student. "Shall I give you a lollipop as a reward?" Her eyes sparkled.

Tony combed his dark hair with his fingers and replied with a roguish grin, "I can think of another reward I'd rather have."

"Mr. Stark," Pepper chided primly, but with a twinkle in her eyes. "Is that any way to talk to your CEO?"

"Only when the CEO is also my girlfriend," Tony answered. "Otherwise it would be creepy."

Though Tony and Pepper were heading for the rear entrance of the restaurant to avoid paparazzi, the alley was just off a well-traveled shortcut in this district of clubs, shops and restaurants. They didn't think anything about two men approaching, until one shoved Tony to the ground. When Happy leaped out of the car to come to his boss' defense, the other thug slugged him with a blackjack. The dazed chauffeur sagged across the driver's seat.

Pepper dropped to her knees when Tony sprawled at her feet. She clutched at his shoulders, helping him sit up. The two big, tough-looking attackers loomed over them.

"You're coming with us, Mr. Stark," one said gruffly.

It didn't matter in this case that Tony Stark was Iron Man. Though his portable suit was in the backseat, he'd never be able to deploy it before these men could kill him or, worse, hurt Pepper. But maybe the genius billionaire could get out of trouble when the superhero couldn't.

He fished his wallet out of his pocket, gripping it so tightly the silver monogram seemed to sink deeper into the leather. He tossed the wallet at the men's feet.

"Here, take the money and leave us alone," Tony said firmly. He felt Pepper tense at his back, but her hand was steady on his shoulder.

"We don't want your money, we want you."

In unison the men stepped closer. Then two hands emerged from the darkness behind them. One hand caught each head and clashed them together with a hollow thud like a watermelon dropped on pavement. The hands gripped outside ears and strands of greasy hair, then threw the men to either side behind Tony's newly revealed rescuer.

Big and blond with an amiable grin, the man wore a neat, dark blue business suit well fitted across broad shoulders and had a familiar face. He was well aware they'd attracted spectators and he spoke for the listeners' benefit. "Mr. Stark," Steve Rogers chided. "You shouldn't get so far ahead of your bodyguard."

He extended a hand to help Tony up, but his fellow Avenger perversely relaxed back on one elbow and shook a finger at Captain America in civilian clothes.

"That move was straight out of a 1940s comedy," Tony accused.

The man from the 1940s grinned boyishly. "I love those movies," he agreed. "Hope and Crosby, Abbott and Costello."

Since Tony made no move to rise, Steve offered both hands to gently raise Pepper to her feet. Still worried about their attackers, she looked around Steve's broad shoulders.

"What about …?" she started, but her words tailed off with an "Oh."

She and Tony saw that one thug had already disappeared. Two hands emerged from the shadows to grasp the second man's legs and drag him out of sight. One was a well-muscled man's arm, bare except for a wrist guard. The other was a slender woman's arm clad in black with a chunky bracelet encircling her wrist. That bracelet was a close-range taser, Pepper knew. She also knew that if Captain America was here backed up by Hawkeye and Black Widow, then SHIELD wanted Tony.

"Oh," she said in disappointment. "Who do you need, Iron Man or Tony Stark?" she asked quietly.

Steve smiled apologetically. "At the moment, we just need the genius. If I could leave the billionaire playboy philanthropist with you, I would."

"That would be messy," Tony commented, still relaxing on the alley floor, folding his hands and crossing his legs at the ankle.

Steve scanned the growing crowd. "That's all, folks. Nothing more to see here," he said firmly. "No pictures, please, sir. Thank you."

It only went to prove that Captain America was more than the suit or the serum. His politely commanding tone made it clear that Steve had the authority to give orders and his friendly, guileless blue eyes said he knew you were a good soldier and would obey.

The man put away his phone and apologized. It was a half an hour later he realized how much money he could have gotten from the tabloids for a picture of Tony Stark lying in an alley. Then he literally beat his head against the wall.

As Steve again offered his hand to help Tony up, he was tackled from behind.

"I got him, boss, run!" Happy said hoarsely. Blood ran freely from a gash in the chauffeur's head. His eyes were glazed but he held on grimly, certain he was restraining Tony's attacker; but, in fact, Steve had hardly budged under Happy's assault and it was Cap's grip that kept the injured man on his feet.

Tony sprang to his feet when Happy began grappling with the bemused super soldier.

"Happy, this isn't our attacker. This is Steve, my security consultant. You remember Steve?"

Happy blinked away his daze and realized he was looking into the concerned eyes of Captain America. "Ca…"

"Steve, Happy, remember?" Cap said before Happy could say more.

Happy flushed. He'd almost blurted out Cap's secret identity or Steve's superhero identity — that was too abstruse a conundrum for an injured man to deal with.

"Steve," he agreed. "Sorry."

Steve patted his shoulder and guided him to lean on the sedan. "It's OK. I'm surprised you can remember your own name. That's quite a knock you took." He examined the head wound, but it didn't seem too bad and the chauffeur already looked more aware.

Seeing that Happy seemed steadier, Steve reached down to pick up Tony's forgotten wallet.

"Don't touch that!" Tony, Pepper and Happy all cried at once.

Steve snatched his hand back as if the leather turned out to be a snake.

"I wasn't going to steal your money, Tony," he said warily.

"It's booby-trapped. Right now, only Pep, Happy and I can pick it up safely," Tony explained. He picked up the wallet and pressed the monogram until he felt it shift again. "OK, it's safe now." He tossed it at Cap who automatically caught it, juggled it nervously for a moment, then studied it when he realized it wasn't going to bite. "What's it do?"

"A high-powered taser, like the Bite," Tony answered, referring to the Widow's Bite, Black Widow's favored weapon. "Just because I don't have the suit, doesn't mean I'm helpless," he said aggressively.

"Never thought it for a moment," Cap answered, tossing the wallet back.

"You should see what he keeps on his key ring," Pepper contributed.

Steve didn't want to know.

"I figure, most attackers will take the wallet or the car keys," Tony explained, appeased.

"Then they'll be sorry they messed with the boss," Happy said proudly.

"Mr. Stark, are you and Ms. Potts all right?" The restaurant owner came out after an employee told him about the ruckus in the alley.

"We're fine, Carlo," Tony assured the man. "Happy's a little worse for wear, though."

"I've had worse in the ring, boss," the former boxer protested.

"I don't think I'll be staying for dinner, however. Something's come up."

"We already fixed your favorites," Carlo said. "It will only take a moment to package it to go." He turned and shouted orders at the kitchen.

Tony heard a hiss from the shadows. Natasha Romanoff's hand beckoned imperiously. She wanted Tony to come immediately. Tony deliberately turned his back, earning another hiss of displeasure.

"That's the double order of lasagna, right?" he asked Carlo. "Enough for four?"

"Of course, so you have plenty to take home," the chef agreed.

Clint Barton's hand came out of the darkness and pulled Natasha's back into hiding. Tony and Steve shared a quick smile. The way to Hawkeye's heart was through his stomach.

Then Tony frowned. Of course, if they have to share with Cap … The super soldier needed to eat twice as much as the other human Avengers. He was too polite to take more than his share of a treat like this and Tony didn't want him to go hungry.

"Add a couple of loaves of garlic bread to the order," he said. Carlo went back to the kitchen to organize the to-go order, leaving the Avengers, Pepper and Happy alone in the alley.

Tony turned to Pepper.

"Don't say you're sorry," she ordered. "If they need you, you'd better go."

"I was going to apologize for taking all the food, actually," Tony said with studied carelessness.

Pepper smiled. "Then I'll have the lobster ravioli and champagne to soothe my nerves," she retorted.

"On my tab, of course."

"Of course."

Tony turned back to Steve. "You know, Rogers, if you knew I was going to be attacked, a phone call would have been nice. Haven't you figured out the cellphone by now?"

"We didn't expect an attack," Steve explained. "SHIELD knew something was up in Chicago and we knew you were here, so Fury hoped you could help … track the chatter, I think he said. Is that like triangulating a radio signal?"

"Sort of, and sort of not," Tony answered. "Computer messages can bounce around, the way you make your shield ricochet, so it's not simply a matter of triangulation. But the outcome is the same, finding the source of the message."

Steve nodded. "So I just came to persuade you to help us, but someone else must have had the same idea. Bad timing on their part. And now we've collected two prisoners to question, in addition to our resident genius. If you're coming?" he asked anxiously.

"Of course he's coming," Pepper said. "So you put on that nice suit to drag Tony out of the restaurant?"

"It's a disguise," Steve said solemnly, but with a twinkle in his eye. "The red, white and blue can be a disruption sometimes."

"That was very thoughtful of you," Pepper said. "And the suit looks very nice on you."

Steve flexed his muscles. "A little tight around the shoulders, but I wasn't expecting any action."

Carlo returned with a pan of lasagna and a box of side dishes. Steve willingly took the delicious-smelling burden.

"Give Ms. Potts anything she wants. Happy, too. Sorry again, Pep."

"Business comes first," Pepper said. "Now shoo." She knew Natasha would be getting impatient.

As much to piss off Romanoff, as to reward Steve for the save — because he totally didn't need rescuing — Tony told Carlo to remember Steve.

"Anytime he comes in, feed him anything he wants and put it on my tab. Don't worry, I know he eats like a horse. In fact, if you can make him admit he's full, I'll pay double."

"Mr. Stark, you know that's not necessary," Carlo chided, as he reached out to shake Steve's hand. "But I will gladly attempt to fill up your friend."

"I may be in town for a week," Steve said, juggling his packages to take the chef's hand. "If I can, I will gladly accept the challenge. It's been a long time since I felt free to gorge myself."

"We really need to enter you in an eating contest," Tony sighed.

"You'd better go," Pepper pointed out, not wanting Natasha to get angry. Pepper would like to get Tony back in one piece, thank you.

"We're going and taking the food, Sorry, Pep," he gave her a peck on the cheek and then he and Steve disappeared into the darkness.

"Just you and me, Happy," Pepper sighed.

"Like the old days, Ms. Potts," the chauffeur said, reminding her of the time when Pepper was just a secretary.

"I think we'd better get you back to the hotel," Pepper decided, eying the swelling bump on Happy's head. "And I'll drive."

"Yes, ma'am." Happy sighed. "Some bodyguard I turned out to be."

"We're playing out of our league now." Pepper returned the sigh.

Happy eyed the dark shadows and the shapes of people passing on the nearby street. "Do you think we'll have any problem?" he asked, suddenly nervous. "Maybe those guys weren't alone."

Then Pepper was nervous, too, and wondered if the Avengers had made a mistake leaving them alone.

A small object bounced off her toe. She bent to pick it up. It was a blunt arrowhead with a note wrapped around it. The knockout arrowhead was reassuring in itself. The Avengers had left Hawkeye to watch over Stark's friends. The note just said, "Ravioli?" with four question marks.

"Carlo," Pepper called. "Please give me an order of spinach lasagna, a double order of spaghetti with meat sauce (Happy's favorite) and two ravioli samplers to go, with all the sides." The sampler had cheese, beef and butternut squash raviolis, each with a different sauce. The perfect dish for someone who couldn't make up his mind, or who hadn't specified what kind of ravioli he liked.

"Always keep your bodyguards happy," Pepper said with a wise smile.