A/N: Back to Tyler this time. Media to mention - Sunshine is the name of the movie in the chapter (released in July 2007), lyrics from Joni Mitchel's From Both Sides Now are referred to briefly, and the song at the end of the chapter is The Only Living Boy In New York by Simon and Garfunkle. Music that influenced me during the writing process was The Temper Trap's album Conditions (mainly Rest and Soldier On) and Zero 7's The waiting Line (from which the title comes). Please enjoy and feel encouraged to comment.

-Yve

***

My life was changing. I was twenty-one – as of May second. My sister had moved out and I was living with Abel. I was first shift manager at The Fly Leaf – which helped me buy my new, old car. I was growing up. And I had found the answer to stopping the dreams. Oblivion.

After work I would gather up my things, head out to my '98 Celica and drive to the grocery store a few blocks from the apartment. I'd pick up something for dinner – usually some of the prepared soup or sushi or a grilled chicken wrap from the café. Next to the grocers was a Spec's liquor. That was the gateway to a dreamless night.

I drank vodka mixed with just about any kind of juice, a few bottles of wine a week, and if I was being cheap, sometimes Smirnoff Ice. If I had my way, it would be scotch everyday, but that was getting to be an expensive habit. Vodka was middle of the road, and if I was worried about Abel noticing, it was easy to pour into an Evian bottle.

It was never really something I wanted to start doing, but once I found the magic potion, the nighttime hours passed me up in a blur. Unfortunately, if I wasn't relaxed enough the dreams would come anyway, and if I was too relaxed they became dark and violent and nothing could remove the memory of them for days to come.

I started drinking coffee like crazy and ended up on edge at work most days. But then, I'd been on edge as long as my nights had been continually interrupted.

Tonight I was going out with Abel and a friend of his from one of his courses. We were going to meet at the theater across from the shop after my shift ended, then grab a bite to eat and maybe go play some pool. I was starting to feel a little saner and any excuse to get away from the apartment and break routine sounded like a good idea to me.

It was late July – not even the hottest part of the year – and already the temperatures were stagnating around ninety-nine degrees. I had left the house this morning in a pair of relaxed jeans with the bottoms rolled up past my ankles and a dark green wife beater. I had grabbed a light cardigan before heading out, in case it was cold in the theater (or a stuffy customer decided to complain about my bare arms – while unlikely at FL, it happened every once in a while).

I was placing the last special order of the shift and gathering up some inventory counts to set on Austin's desk in her new office when Abel texted to tell me they were running late. I could go ahead and find a seat if I wanted to, just save two extras for them. I had to wait for Austin to get there anyway, so I went back to the front and purchased the tickets from the computer.

The shop was dead for the moment so I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes. I heard the door open and I sat up a bit straighter, "Welcome to Fly Leaf. Let me know if I can help you." I reached for my coffee on the edge of the counter – which was cold by now – and knocked over the cup in horror.

The woman – the blonde with the creepy smile from my dreams – was standing in front of me. The smile was the same, her hair was longer, she looked healthier and more beautiful than I had ever seen her, and her face was turning to ash. "Tyler." I stood and pushed the chair back, slamming it into the window behind me.

And she was gone. And there was coffee dripping down the front of the counter, pooling on the floor.

And that's when Austin walked in.

"What the hell, Ty? Get some paper towels or something!" She tossed her bag behind the counter and began moving a stack of new novels away from the spreading pool of liquid.

"Sorry." It was all the speech I could manage at the moment. I hadn't been prepared for what I had seen and at the same time I knew beyond a reckoning it was real. I cleaned up the spill, said my goodbyes, clocked out and hurried across the street to the theater.

I was shaking as I pulled the tickets out of the ticket machine outside. There was still twenty minutes till the showing started and I needed to calm down. I headed back down the stairs to the sidewalk and fished around in my purse for a cigarette (another habit I'd taken up with the drinking).

I put the little brown cylinder between my lips and puffed as I held the lighter to it's end. Holding my hand out in front of me, I exhaled the sweet clove smoke and watched the cigarette trembling in my fingers. I had goose bumps all up and down my arms even though it was warm enough for a sweat. I tensed all of the muscles in my right arm, willing my hand to hold still. The smoke began swirling up above my head and into the sky, and for a moment I let go and let my mind float away with it.

So many things I would have done, but clouds got in my way. I've looked at clouds from both sides now…

I shook my head to remove the phantom words. There was no one singing, no music playing. It was just in my head. My fucked up little brain.

I could see Abel walking toward me from the parking garage behind the theater and flicked what remained of my cigarette into the street. No chance for a mint or perfume now. Oh well. When I looked back in his direction, I noticed the girl gazing up at him, rather than where she walked. Oh, what luck. This must be his friend from school.

He came straight over and draped an arm around my shoulders. "Ty, this is Emily."

"Huh-Hi." It was the best I could manage. I was way more disturbed by Emily's presence than I had any right to be. She beamed back at me brilliantly. She was about five feet tall, with adorable, soft, dirty blonde curls cut short around her shoulders, and bright blue eyes. She also had a D-cup.

I realized I was staring and turned toward the stairs to the theater entrance. Shoving my hand in my pocket, I retrieved the tickets and handed two to Abel. "Let's find some seats."

I found I was gripping the armrest to try to stay in my seat. For some reason I felt like my head was about to spin clear off of my body. The theater was cooled to a pleasant sixty-eight degrees for the other moviegoers, but I was burning up, fanning myself with a piece of paper I'd located in my bag.

Snap out of it! I felt like the person behind me had leaned forward and screamed into my ear, but when I turned around there was no one there for two rows back. I sank deeper into my seat and tried desperately to concentrate on the movie.

"It takes eight minutes for light to travel from Sun to Earth. All you have to do is look for a little extra brightness in the sky. So if you wake up one morning and it's a particularly beautiful day, you'll know we made it."

We headed to Guerrero's after the movie, and I was fidgety through the entire meal. I was starving for some chorizo and rice taquitos, but when they brought the plate I was struggling to keep down the first few bites. Of course, Emily was a vegetarian, and she convinced Abel to eat a vegetarian meal too. That alone, was enough to make me want to vomit. The conversation was slow and terrible, and halfway through diner I had decided to forgo the pool hall in favor of the couch and a movie at home. Then my drink came.

It took the edge off, but I would definitely be needing more. I realized it had been nearly twenty-four hours since I had my last drink and passed out downstairs last night. I suppose I could head over to the pool hall with them. Show this little girl how to shoot. I had a feeling she'd never played the game in her life.

We paid the bill and headed out to Abel's car and that was the last thing I could remember.

The blinding headache and nausea came next. Somehow, when I opened my eyes, I was on the floor of my little bathroom in the apartment. I turned my head to the side and threw up in the bathtub – apparently not for the first time. "Uhhhg. Fuh…"

"A little more conscious?" It was Abel. I hadn't seen him leaned up against the counter earlier. Now I noticed his arm outstretched, a wet washcloth in hand. I accepted it gratefully.

"Where is Emily?" I asked, a little too harshly.

"She took a cab home from Slick Willie's – after you called her an obliviously obnoxious blonde twit." He flashed a gruesome smile. I didn't even remember going to Slick Willie's instead of Barney's, let alone insulting someone. Not just someone, I remembered, Abel's date. Fuck.

"I didn't!? Oh, Abe… Oh." I turned back to the tub and emptied my stomach once more. "Sorry. For that and for Emily." Abel shook his head and sat down on the floor next to me.

"You think you're through for a while?"

I certainly hoped so. I hadn't eaten much today. He was talking about me being sick, right? I nodded anyway. He sighed.

"Emily's been bugging me for a date for months. She's adorable. And smart – you were wrong when you said she's a twit. She just plays the dumb blonde, I don't know, cause she thinks people like that? But she's a little too perfect for me. Not my type."

He stood up then and turned the shower on, using the handheld to rinse the waste down the drain. Sweet guy, cleaning up after me. I leaned my head back against the cool wall.

"What's your type?" He didn't answer. After a while I heard the shower running steady. Then I felt his hands around my waist encouraging me to stand. I took control of myself as best I could to help him out. When I opened my eyes, his shirt and jeans were on the bathroom floor and he was standing in front of me in his boxers. There was steam pouring out of the shower from behind the curtain, and a sweet smell of eucalyptus in the room. "Hi." I swallowed hard, wondering if this was one of my dreams, soon to turn into a warped nightmare.

"Hi," he answered back. His hands brushed up my arms to my neck, gently pulling my hair back behind my shoulders. Then he brought them back down to my waist where they began unbuttoning my jeans. I don't know why, but I let them. I watched in horror and fascination as he slid my jeans and panties to the floor, then moved his hands up to pull my shirt off over my head. I was beginning to get very dizzy and I couldn't tell if it was the remnants of the alcohol or something else. Neither would have surprised me.

Once I was undressed he pushed his boxers down over his hips and took my hands to help me into the tub. I closed my eyes and let the warm water wash over me. It was a bizarre and amazing feeling. I let the water run into my mouth and rinsed out the foul taste from before. Still operating under the assumption this was a dream, I turned around and opened my eyes, expecting to be alone in the shower.

I wasn't alone.

He placed both hands on my waist and led me around to switch places with him. I was mesmerized as the water ran down his body in front of me. He reached around me for the shampoo and I watched him lather his hair. I watched him take my soap in his and wash his body. I watched him rinse off. The warmth from the steam and the heat outside kept me from shivering.

And I watched as he reached to pull me close to him. He repeated the process of cleansing, this time with his hands moving all over my body. They were soft, but confident. He took the handheld and rinsed the soap and shampoo away before placing it back on the shower wall. Then he pulled me to him once more, and finally, softly parted my lips with his.

We stood under the running water for a few moments after that first kiss, and then he guided me out of the shower and into his bedroom.

"Is… this ok?" It was the first thing he had said since he started undressing me. I tried not to giggle, and failed.

"Um. Yes." I felt a smile spread across my face. Hadn't we been staring at each other's naked bodies for the past fifteen minutes without protest? Apparently that was the right thing to say. He pulled me up against his chest and pressed his mouth hard against mine, tangling his hands in my wet hair.

We made it to the bed and collapsed in a tangle of limbs, laughing between kisses and I could feel his erection pressing against my abdomen. He pulled his face back from mine and brushed wet strands of hair out of my eyes. I held my breath and closed my eyes.

His mouth found mine again, but less frenzied this time. This kiss was deep and long, his tongue exploring my mouth. He moved his hand slowly down my side, up over my hip and between my legs. I gasped and he pulled away slightly. "So wet," he said, his lips moving against mine. He resumed his business with fingers and tongue, and I was lost in the feeling of him against me, and the vague concept that this would complicate things.

Without warning he removed his fingers and he was inside me. We both moaned at the relief of it. I relaxed beneath him and he began to move rhythmically, deep and slow. His face remained inches above mine and our lips began to meet with every few thrusts. I could feel the pressure building and I could feel him holding back, increasing his pace ever so slightly. I angled my hips up to meet his and he came, shaking with the intensity of it.

He lifted gently off of me and walked into the closet to grab a towel. After we had cleaned up he turned some music on at his desk and came to crawl under the old blue and grey striped coverlet with me. I curled into him as he combed through my damp hair with his fingers.

"Why did you ask me to move in with you?"

I had been humming along to The Only Living Boy in New York and stopped to think about it. Had I known on some level what would happen tonight? A deeper part of my consciousness was screaming, trying to say yes, but I wouldn't listen. Not now. I wouldn't ruin this.

"I don't know." I closed my eyes and floated away in the warmth of the body behind me, and the music filling the room.

Half of the time we're gone but we don't know where, And we don't know where.