A/N: Hey, long chapter to make up for slow posting! To keep you posted, this adventure is done and the next one has begun, so updates should be pretty regular. Warning: Silly Def Leppard references ahead. No, we're not sorry.

...

The arrangements for the Friday Knights were a bit more jumbled than usual, and as always, the confusion was primarily caused by Gwaine. His hand still injured from punching a wall (an event that Leon still couldn't bring himself to believe actually happened), Gwaine found himself able to contribute to the band in only two ways: by singing, or by playing the drums. The most experience Gwaine had with playing percussion was banging a tankard on the table to the beat of "Chug! Chug! Chug!" but Leon hoped that drums would put a bit of focus to Gwaine's abundant energy. Leon sang "Tainted Love" first, which had the easiest beat you could find in a chanconette, and Galehaut did a fine job filling in for Gwaine on the bass vielle. After that Elyan sang "Beast of Burden," but out of the corner of his eye Leon could see Gwaine champing at the bit to play something faster. Next up for singing was Lancelot, and Leon had to get out a pick to play the song he had chosen.

"Oh can't you see you belong to me? How my poor heart aches with every step you take…Every move you make, every vow you break, every smile you fake, every claim you stake, I'll be watching you…"

Leon was barely able to contain his embarrassment, especially since Lancelot kept giving Gwen meaningful looks as he sang it. Honestly Leon thought it was a relatively harmless song when he suggested it, but clearly he meant more by it than he originally let on. Galehaut plucked at the bass vielle sympathetically beside Lancelot as Gwen got more and more agitated. Lancelot clearly had the best heart of all the knights, and it hurt to see him torturing himself like this.

But Leon wasn't in a position to point fingers about getting overly-sentimental. He sang the next song, one he picked out just recently because he still couldn't get Elaine out of his head, even though he was fairly certain he didn't have much of a chance with her. But it still gave him chills down his spine and when Lancelot's angelic voice aided him in the chorus he found it extremely difficult to not look at Elaine as he sang.

"I'm in love, I'm in deep yeah, hypnotized, I'm shakin' to my knees…I gotta know tonight if you're alone tonight…can't stop this feelin', can't stop this fire…Oh! I get hysterical—"

"—Hysteria!—"

"—Oh can you feel it—"

"—Do you believe it—"

"…Ooh babe…Hysteria when you're near."

It was certainly true—he fell to pieces whenever she was around. As much as he liked her, what was the point in pursuing her if he couldn't even speak coherently to her? He wasn't comfortable around her at all, even if he did want to be beside her all the time. She was leaving at the end of the month, and that wasn't enough time to learn how to trust himself around her, not at all.

"That's enough of that sort of thing, I think," Galehaut said when Leon finished. "If we're going for the sentimental we might as well have fun doing it. Come on, Lance, get your rebec! It's my turn."

Lance laughed at Galehaut's unwavering optimism and played the trill opening note of "Foolin'", and Leon quickly started the introductory melody. Galehaut's voice, though not quite as stunning as Lancelot's, certainly had more energy and playfulness to it. Leon thankfully made it through the entire lute solo without botching a single note, which certainly put him into better spirits.

Still—the beat seemed to lag somewhat from how they had practiced it.

"I think the one-armed drummer might be holding us back," Percival said, putting down the cornetto he had been wailing on. It was more a joke than a real complaint, but Gwaine, in his usual practice of taking things personally and getting disproportionately offended for all of five seconds, tossed the drumstick away in a kind of fit.

"At least I'm not deaf!" he said, "I was getting tired of these old pigskins anyway. Move over, 'Hauttie, I'll sing the next one!"

"Excuse me, but Sir Leon got to sing two, I don't see why you think you can just muscle your way in—"

But Gwaine rarely took no for an answer, and Galehaut eventually left in a kind of huff that only noblemen can properly achieve as Gwaine smugly took center stage.

...

Merlin had hoped that if he beat everyone to the pub, they wouldn't notice that he still had a fine coating of flour adhering to his shirt and hair. But after that whole thing with the gnomes and the dead antiquarian and subsequent demands from a certain king that everything be cleaned up right now, he'd not had time to go back and do a spell to remove the flour. In fact, he was running late, and so he was the last to arrive.

He was happy, after the long day, to plunk down in the seat next to Gwen, well out of the way and where he couldn't be harassed into getting up for at least the next half hour. He noticed that Arthur had taken the corner seat on Gwen's other side, where he couldn't possibly get out unless everyone else also got up, and that would just be too much trouble. Gwen and Arthur both glanced over at him when he practically flopped down onto the bench.

"Nice shirt, Merlin," Arthur said with deceptive innocence, and Merlin leaned forward to look at him around Gwen before rolling his eyes.

"Is that…" Gwen started, and Arthur and Merlin both looked at her, one grinning like a fool and the other looking entirely too deadpan to be sincerely bothered.

"It's flour. Ask him where it came from," Arthur said, sounding like a gleeful five-year-old, and Gwen glanced from king to manservant with raised eyebrows. Merlin snorted.

"There were flour beetles in the—" he started, just for humor's sake, and, sure enough, he was interrupted by Arthur.

"Gwaine dumped a bucket of flour on him. They're having a prank war," he laughed.

"A prank war? With Gwaine?" Gwen asked, looking slightly concerned, "That doesn't sound like it can possibly end well." Having heard this sentiment several times by now, Merlin just grinned and shook his head a bit ruefully, though whether he agreed or disagreed with Gwen was unclear. Up on stage, Gwaine succeeded in chasing almost everyone else off stage so he could be the center of attention, and as those who were singing or playing converged on the table, Arthur and Gwen both stood to make room and then wandered off toward the bar. Merlin took over Arthur's corner seat and shortly found himself sitting with Lancelot, Galehaut, and Leon. Lancelot clapped him on the shoulder as he sat down and then sneezed at the inevitable puff of flour.

"Merlin, why are you covered in flour?" he asked in a bit of confusion.

"Gwaine. Prank war. I've already told them it's a bad idea," Leon answered before Merlin could say a word, sounding very put upon.

"It's just a prank war. We'll be fine," Merlin reassured the eldest knight, while Lancelot and Galehaut both looked at him uncertainly, clearly doubting the wisdom of this sentiment. Lancelot looked like he was about to say something, but he was cut off as Gwaine started singing, and they all turned to at least pretend to pay fleeting attention to the knight.

"...Luck and intuition, play the cards with spades to start
And after she's been hooked I'll play the one that's on her heart
Oh, o-o-oh oh, o-o-o-o-o-oh
I'll get her hot, show her what I've got…"

They all turned back around and fell to talking amongst themselves for a moment. Leon and Lancelot were immersed in some discussion of battle tactics or record-keeping (which even Merlin had to admit was boring) and Galehaut was left out, so after the briefest of forlorn looks at Lance, he turned to Merlin, who grinned his usual what-I-was-paying-attention-really grin.

"Was that Arthur and Gwen who just got up?" he asked, and Merlin nodded, glancing after the pair of them.

"Yes, I think Arthur got bored of bothering me about the state of my clothes…" Merlin remarked.

"He's quite fond of her," Galehaut commented, with just the briefest of glances at Lancelot, who caught him glancing at him and grinned briefly before going back to his conversation with Leon. Merlin wasn't sure who Galehaut was actually referring to with that "he," but he chose to assume it was Arthur.

"Well, they are married, so… that's probably a good thing," he laughed, and Galehaut's momentary frown told him everything he needed to know about the assumption he'd made. Not Arthur, then, which left Lancelot. Merlin chose not to say anything about that.

"...And baby when it's love, if its not rough it isn't fun…" Gwaine sang.

There was awkward silence as Merlin tried to calculate Galehaut's reaction and Galehaut looked almost forlornly between Gwen and Lancelot before turning back to the conversation.

"I don't know what he sees in her," Galehaut commented vaguely, and Merlin's eyebrows both went up.

"What Arthur sees in Gwen?" he asked, slightly aghast. Galehaut shrugged, and then nodded.

"Would you like a list?" Merlin responded. Gwen had been one of the first friends he'd made in this place. He could have listed off what Arthur—what anyone, really—might see in the kind-hearted, sincere, servant-turned-queen without even having to think about it very hard. Galehaut just huffed a put-upon sigh and continued glaring at the queen in a way that made Merlin kind of want to tell him to knock it off, even though he suspected it was jealousy talking, and not outright malice.

"No, thank you. I'd find it hard to believe, anyway. No one… no one can possibly be as perfect as everyone seems to think she is," he said sullenly with a nod in Gwen's general direction. "She must be hiding something." Stunned, Merlin just sat there awkwardly, really not enjoying the direction in which this conversation had gone.

"I wouldn't let the knights hear you say that," he said, finally, thinking perhaps the knight should be warned before he ran his mouth off and got himself in trouble. There were very few people of whom the knights were universally protective, and their queen was definitely one of them. Merlin had no doubt that things would get very ugly, very quickly if one of them overheard the newest knight bad-mouthing Gwen, no matter the sentiment behind the words.

"She's not even that pretty," Galehaut was saying as Gwaine and the others sat down, Gwaine gulping at his beer.

"Who's ugly?" Gwaine asked amiably, looking around excitedly. He happened to like ugly girls. In his experience, the ugly ones were better bedmates because they invariably tried harder.

Gwaine was sure he misheard the next thing out of Galehaut's mouth, so he asked for clarification.

"I said, I was talking about Gwen. I cannot see why Lancelot—"

"Yeah, I heard you the first time," Gwaine grumbled, as he tried to shift the conversation to another topic and turned his shoulder away from Galehaut. "Soooo, Merlin? Why do you still have flour on your shirt?"

"And she treats him like dirt. I've never heard a nice word come out of her mouth," Galehaut went on.

Everyone looked uncomfortably into their beers, trying to determine how best to handle the situation, since changing the subject wasn't working, and knights did not get into tavern brawls. Luckily, Lancelot was off in the corner tuning his stupid crumhorn, otherwise he'd probably be pissed to hear this. But Elyan was here, and he was twitching, and: "Hey, you want to knock it off? That's my sister you're talking about."

"Then why don't you control her more?"

"Sir Galehaut—" Elyan tried again, growling.

"No, no, let him get this off his chest," K encouraged, with an unreadable frown.

"She is clearly leading him on in the most cruel manner I've ever witnessed!" Galehaut went on, glad to have someone listening to him.

Gwaine groaned inwardly. Was the poor bastard drunk? Gwaine didn't think so. He'd need a better excuse than that for this behavior. But, still, Gwaine tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, and blinked.

"Wait, we're still talking about Guinevere, here, right? Like, the Queen of Camelot?" he said carefully, almost warningly, to give Galehaut a fair chance to reconsider what he was actually saying and maybe, if he wasn't a total idiot, to retract it...

"The Queen of Strumpets," Galehaut grumbled into his beer.

"Gee, Hauttie, tell us how you really feel!" K said with a laugh. But he was the only one who found this funny.

Gwaine stood up. His chair scraped across the floor loudly.

"Would you like to say that again, Sir Galehaut?" he asked.

"Gwaine..." Leon warned, but Gwaine ignored him.

"No, no, I want to hear him say it again, or decide he's being a fool and rescind it."

Galehaut waved his beer flamboyantly. "The Queen of Strumpets? I'd say that all day if—"

"STAND UP," Gwaine snarled, and the fire in his eyes slowly quieted the room around them, so when Galehaut slowly, eyes narrowed, less afraid and more concerned, got to his feet to stand over Gwaine, most of the bar was watching.

Gwaine wasn't sure exactly what came next. His instincts screamed at him that a broken glass bottle to the face would be the wisest tactic, but something niggling in the back of his mind called "chivalry" said something else. Wasn't a glove supposed to be involved? Gwaine wasn't sure where his had got to, so he snatched Percy's off the table and threw it down brazenly in front of Galehaut.

The room gasped collectively.

Galehaut had the audacity to smirk! Gwaine was going to enjoy teaching him a lesson. He eyed the glove sidelong. "You're not serious."

"Deadly," Gwaine said.

Galehaut raised his eyebrows. "To the death?"

Gwaine shook his head. "Nah. Just til I it pleases me to leave off kicking your pretty little arse."

Galehaut gulped a bit, but to his credit, picked up the glove. "Is this to be a brawl or a duel?"

"I don't even care. I'll get you one way or another, and teach you a thing or two about manners, probably won't even have to kill you—"

"Gwaine!" Arthur charged up. "Galehaut, what on earth are you?—Gwaine!" he said again, exasperated. It was a fine thing Arthur couldn't get a full sentence out, because Gwaine didn't want to talk to him, either. Why wasn't he fighting this duel? Why wasn't Elyan? Was he the only one man enough to teach this fruitcake a lesson about how Gwen was the most perfect creature in all of Albion and he better watch his step if he happened to be too stupid to agree?

"You better take your wife home, sire. With a face like that, she'd launch a thousand ships to war, apparently," Gwaine said, turned, and went back to the bar as Arthur turned to Leon for an explanation.

"Someone tell me what the hell is going on!" Arthur bellowed, though clearly he expected no one else to answer besides Leon.

"A challenge has been issued, sire," Leon said. He wasn't entirely sure whether he should explain why the challenge had been made, but Gwen, watching the scene awkwardly at Arthur's side, appeared to understand exactly what had transpired. He gave Gwen a pleading look.

"It is within their rights to duel if they want to," she said, "Isn't it? How does all this work?"

Arthur tried to explain. "Well, if a challenge has been issued, and Galehaut's accepted, they'll need to designate seconds."

"Someone uninvolved—like Lancelot, perhaps?"

"Yes, that's the idea—"

"Yes," Galehaut said, "Lancelot du Lac will be my second!"

The knights turned to where Lancelot sat on the far end of the table. He had been tuning his crumhorn and thus heard nothing of the altercation. There was a comedic honk from the crumhorn as Galehaut's shout disturbed him. "Eh?—oh, yes, if it is required of me—but, here now, what's all this about—?"

"Never mind that," Gwen chimed in quickly. "You're going to be Galehaut's second." Gwen did not wait for anyone to reply to that before she crossed over to Gwaine and said, "Why don't you take Sir K as your second?"

"Whoa, whoa—wait a minute!" Leon practically chased Gwen over to where Gwaine stood and interrupted her whispering into Gwaine's ear. "Excuse me, your Highness, but are you out of your mind? You know how Sir K fights—Galehaut was out of line but K is not the sort of person that should act as a second." He turned to Gwaine. "I'll be your second."

Gwen shook her head. "If you're Gwaine's second, Lancelot won't have any reason to worry."

Leon knotted his brow. "Why should Lancelot need a reason to worry?"

"Because, Leon," Gwaine said, "Galehaut fancies him."

"What? Don't be—"

Leon was interrupted by a shouting match between Lancelot and Galehaut. Sir K was standing nearby, looking a lot less guilty than he should.

"I beg your pardon?!" Lancelot was saying.

"I didn't mean to cause trouble," Sir K said, "But, Sir Galehaut, you didn't exactly try to keep your feelings secret, and I was just repeating what I heard, since Lancelot asked—"

Galehaut shrugged, but appeared very flustered. "I only meant, Lancelot, that Guinevere is—"

"I know what you meant! How could you have said something like that?—"

"I was defending you! Besides, you already agreed—"

"You know I won't go back on my word, but if you talk about her in that way again I'll challenge you to a duel myself!"

Lancelot stormed from the tavern. Galehaut sulked for a few seconds, then followed him out. Now that Gwaine mentioned it, the signs were easy to read.

"Oh," he said.

"Don't you see?" Gwen continued in a whisper. "This is a perfect opportunity to edge them together in the right direction. If you're Gwaine's second, Lancelot can still be angry without worrying about the fact that Galehaut tried to defend his honor.…"

"Defend his honor? But he called you a—" Leon knew he wasn't going to continue, and Gwen dutifully interrupted him.

"Never mind what he called me," she said. "He was just trying to say that Lancelot's love is misguided, which it is." Gwen's unbreakable determination to see the best in everyone came through yet again, and when she put it like that it sounded fairly legitimate: everyone tended to blame Lancelot for loving a married woman, which they of course should, but to a stranger sympathetic to Lancelot already, it was in fact pretty noble to try defending the man who no one else would defend.

Alright, it could only really make sense in Guinevere's all-loving, overly-accepting mind, but Leon couldn't argue with her of all people.

"If Galehaut is put in some real danger," she continued, "and with Lancelot watching, then perhaps…"

"Well?"

"…Well, it's not the best plan in the world, but I don't have much to work with at the moment," Gwen said, getting annoyed. "And it's a start, anyway."

"A duel isn't exactly the best way to gain true love," Leon said, and, as Gwaine started to open his mouth, "This isn't funny, Gwaine."

"No, of course it isn't," Gwaine said. "You know what else isn't funny? That my tankard has been empty for a full five minutes!"

And with that he wandered off to get more ale, again attempting to extract himself from the crowd that seemed determined to follow him. A moment later Arthur appeared and fixed Gwen with a look. Leon had never seen the "we need to talk" expression on the male counterpart of a married couple before, but he saw it then, and Arthur and Gwen walked off whispering at each other.

…Which left plenty of room for Sir K to saunter over.

"You'll have to explain all this dueling business to me, I'm afraid," K said with a smile. "Fighting a duel is not something I'm particularly familiar with."

"You seem to be very familiar with starting one," Leon said, happy he actually succeeded in coming up with an acceptable comeback. "But then you always were a good mixer."

"Oh, my dear Leon, don't be so upset! I only do it for the same reason I do anything else, which is the same reason that I would, say, marry the Lady Elaine, or bring down Camelot to its very foundations, or hide a baby scorpion in your boot." He grinned and laughed as if it was all a big joke. "I just like to have fun!"

Leon tried to not consider these as K laughed into the last of his tankard of ale, since it was obvious he just spouted a few things off carefully calculated to make Leon's blood boil. The man was insane! Camelot and the Knights had had nothing but trouble since he arrived with that stupid gnome….

"Sir K," Leon said as K lowered his tankard, "You wouldn't happen to remember where you got that gnome you gave the King, would you?"

"Oh, that old thing? No, I don't recall. I hope it's not defective in any way."

"No, it, er...seems to be doing the job splendidly."

"Well, that's a relief. Now, I think there's an ale over there with my name on it…"

Leon tried to read K's expression for something, anything that might give away, for instance, some secret plan to take over Camelot using gnomes and a silver tongue, but he gleaned nothing from K's smiling face before it turned toward the bar.

When all parties involved had either gone off in a huff or returned to the bar or sat back down, Merlin still stood there blinking and trying to make sense of what, exactly, had just transpired. Had Gwaine actually just challenged Galehaut to a duel? Merlin turned and looked at his friend as the knight returned to the bar, eyebrows raised slightly in concern. It wasn't that Gwaine couldn't generally handle himself in a duel, but then…mistakes happened. And Sir K acting as his second? Merlin understood Gwen's logic, even if he still thought it was a horrible idea, but that seemed like tempting fate in all kinds of dangerous ways.

Merlin was about to go to the bar and talk to Gwaine, but as if he'd been listening in on Merlin's thoughts, Sir K came sauntering past, clearly also on his way over to the bar.

"Merlin!" he said loudly as he clapped a hand over Merlin's shoulder, causing him to nearly jump out of his boots. "How are you, my friend?" the king's cousin asked, and Merlin grinned to hide the thought that'd just flashed right through his head—No friend of yours, certainly.

"Sir?" he asked instead, wondering what Sir K wanted this time. His armor was already clean, his horse was probably more well-taken-care-of than it had been in years, and his rooms were clean. Merlin knew, because he'd taken five minutes to go check earlier in the afternoon.

"'Sir'? Come now, you don't call any of the other knights 'Sir'. I heard you call Arthur 'clotpole'. Why the formality? My cousin didn't put you up to it, did he?" Sir K asked, and, convinced he was once again making himself look stupid, Merlin just shrugged.

"No, no one did. I just thought…" he said, trailing off. Sir K flashed that disarming grin that Merlin didn't trust as far as he could throw the owner, and Merlin again wondered what, exactly, K wanted, or if he was just trying to throw him off guard, or perhaps if he was going to try and get him to admit he had magic again. Merlin started looking for some avenue of escape.

"Well, don't think too hard. Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself," Sir K joked, his voice returning to a normal speaking volume. This sort of joke was funny when Arthur made it, and would have ordinarily been met with some equally cutting remark, but it wasn't half as amusing coming from Sir K, and Merlin bristled slightly. "So, Merlin, still haven't told Arthur about your magic?" he asked, and Merlin gaped. Was this man really idiot enough to mention magic in the middle of a crowded tavern? He wiped the look off his face and tried to look completely disinterested.

"I have not idea—" he started. K interrupted him.

"'What you're talking about,' yes, I've heard that. Honestly, Merlin, do you think I'm stupid? That's not very kind," K said, and he smiled. It was the smile of a snake. And this man was going to be Gwaine's second? This was a horrible idea…

"No, Sir K, never stupid. Likewise, I am not so stupid as to break the laws of Camelot," he said, but he was bad at lying, and his eyes skittered nervously off to the side as K stared at him.

"Ah, well, he'll find out eventually, right? Are you planning on telling him about the dragon, too, or are you afraid that might be too much? It would certainly be a shame if any of the knights found out, after what that beast did to the castle. And their friends. He killed a great many knights, didn't he?" he asked, glancing over to Leon. Merlin took the slightest step back. Well, yes, that would be awful. Leon would hate him forever. Gwaine might even hate him, for that one. But apparently K wasn't done talking yet. With another one of those snake-smiles, he added, "Then again, I imagine there are others who might like to know that Camelot has a sorcerer, wouldn't you think? A friend of mine, actually, might be quite interested, especially if she knew who it was. With that sort of information, she could cause… all sorts of trouble, I should think."

Merlin was done with any pretense of affability with Arthur's cousin. He glared at him. Was he actually threatening to tell an enemy of Camelot who Merlin really was? That would be a disaster, especially if it ever got back to Morgana. Unless… She could cause all sorts of trouble,he'd said. Surely he wasn't actually talking about Morgana. The thought was enough to make the color go from Merlin's face, and he knew that any pretense of denial he'd been keeping up was now rendered utterly pointless.

And Sir K found it absolutely hilarious. He laughed and clapped Merlin on the shoulder again.

"Merlin, the look on your face! It's comical, really. You're a funny one! Thank you for the laugh. Really, thank you," he said, and then turned around and hailed Gwaine, practically bounding across the tavern to speak with the knight about something that would no doubt be bad for someone or something's health, if his behavior so far this evening was any indication. Merlin watched him go. He wanted to say something to Gwaine, but he couldn't. He could've said something to Gaius or Lancelot, but what could they do? Tell him to be careful? Arthur wouldn't listen to either of them any more than he'd listen to Merlin. And he couldn't say anything to Leon, who would have believed the man's ill-intent, because Leon didn't know he could do magic. In short, no one he could tell could do anything about Sir K's threats, and anyone who could do anything about Sir K he couldn't tell. Wonderful.

...

"Are we sure this is a good idea?" Gwaine had settled with his elbows on the bar while the others finally left him alone to sort things out, when Gwen approached him, sweetly apprehensive as she always looked (especially when she wanted something from him).

Gwen sidled up next to him demurely. "Well, we've got to do something for Lancelot, don't you agree?"

"No," Gwaine said sullenly. "I don't care if he gets himself sacked."

Gwen pursed her lips. "I think you do care, Gwaine."

Gwaine answered that with a swig of beer.

"At any rate, I care," she said, as if this settled it, and Gwaine sighed.

"What do you want from me?"

"The first part's easy."

"Awesome."

"I need you to teach Galehaut a lesson."

Gwaine almost choked on his beer laughing. "Is the Queen getting vengeful?"

"Oh, certainly not," she said, with a small wink that said otherwise, "But I do hope it might evoke...protective instincts in Sir Lancelot."

Gwaine snorted.

"And then, when you beat him—though I'd appreciate it if you didn't kill him—"

"Aw, Gwen, you're no fun," Gwaine teased.

"—I want you to let Lancelot beat you."

Now Gwaine did spit out his beer. And that was alcohol abuse! "You want me to what?"

"Let him defend Galehaut, and let him win."

"But—" Gwaine stammered, "but that means—"

"Let him win, Gwaine. Do not make me insult your prowess by suggesting he might win, anyway."

Gwaine narrowed his eyes. "Ugh," he groaned, "lady!" he grumbled. "Milday," he added, petulantly.

"Thank you, Sir Gwaine," Gwen said, squeezing his arm. "I knew I could rely on you."

"Yeah, whatever," Gwaine said mildly, as he watched her leave, arm in arm with the king.

He finished his beer as K sidled up next to him with a new one. "Perfect timing," Gwaine said with a side grin.

"Not the only thing perfect about me," K said with a wink and a chuckle.

There was a comfortable silence between them.

"You don't mind being my second?" Gwaine asked. "You know I haven't even actually seen you fight, you might be rubbish."

"Oh, yeah," K laughed. "That's me, I'm rubbish at hand-to-hand. I'll be useless out there."

"Ha," Gwaine said. Then, "Thanks, K."

There was another silence as the two men considered the scene and considered their beers.

"Why does Merlin have flour on his shirt?" K asked, by way of changing the subject.

"Ha!" Gwaine chortled gleefully. "He's an idiot and challenged me to a prank war."

"Ha-ha! And here I thought he was smart," K chuckled.

"You thought wrong."

"I feel sorry for him. It's hardly a fair fight."

"Oh, it's fair," Gwaine assured him. "Like you said, he's smart. When he wants to be. I owe him good for the last one."

"Have you tried the wax on the soles of his shoes one? That's a classic."

Gwaine thought he couldn't love K more. "That's priceless! Wax on the bottom of his shoes! Next round's on me, mate, that deserves a drink!"