CWCollateral: A Tale of the Resistance
by Manajerkop
Chapter 16: Fly Me to the Moon
February 25, 2009, East CWCville, Lower East District, Wilderness, administrator meeting room, 11:37 p.m.
"How many?"
"No one knew this was going to happen, Commander Gee. You can't blame Kacey for…"
"How many did we lose?"
"Fifty-six dead," Kacey mumbled, reciting the numbers she had been given in the medical quarters. Her voice was soft and distant, a sharp contrast from the confident and calm demeanor she normally possessed. "Fifty-four Jerkops. Two Manajerks. Sixteen wounded. Four unsuitable for further combat duty."
"Which Manajerks?" asked Vivian.
"Joseph Bue, Deathbreakers, and Jasmine Wilson, BMPs." The Miscreant shivered. "Eliasson and Kouda survived, but each of them lost over half of their operatives. Thodt went berserk after three of her squadmates were killed. She's been deemed unfit to serve as a Manajerk for now, so her squad leader had to take her place. Albert Ledger was extracted by a team operating under Commanders Cash and Thaddeus." Sinking a few inches further into the chair, Kacey leaned forward and buried her face in her arms. "Arceus, I fucked up, Vivian. I fucked it all up."
"We've got the UAV tracking Cash's helicopter now," reported Bryan Bash from a screen on the meeting room's wall. With so much confusion spreading through the PVCC's radio network, the communications director had been forced back to his post in Wilderness's command and control room to maintain the order. "I've been trying to reach Giovanni, but there's no response."
"Christ. Patch me through to Slumberland," ordered the commander. Reaching up, she adjusted her headset microphone toward her mouth. "Giovanni. Giovanni, it's Vivian. Come in, over."
Only static greeted the Miscreants around the conference table. With Cash and Thaddeus unaccounted for, the council members had been cut down to Gee, Howell, Kathleen, Liquid, Kacey, Robotnik, Max, Tito, Jimmy Hill, and Robert Simmons. Wes Iseli and Megan Schroeder were coordinating their squads in ChinaTown, and the Library had already been mobilized. Only Slumberland had yet to check in, and the UAV feed wasn't the least bit reassuring in that regard.
"Keep trying," Gee snapped. Her appearance was growing more disheveled by the minute, and considering all that had happened to the PVCC since Hedgeclipper, it wasn't too hard to see why. "Arceus, it's never enough, is it? We take one step forward, we've got the chus in a panic and the Combo destabilized…and those cock-eating greedy assholes had to fuck it all up for us."
"We lost our momentum," Howell stated bluntly. "It was a good plan, but ultimately, it didn't work. There's no way for us to rally the same kind of civilian support after what just went down at the Plaza. And unless we pull some kind of PR miracle in the next hour or so, every CWCville citizen with two brain cells to rub together is going to be barricaded in his or her house, waiting for another June Offensive to happen." Interlacing his fingers, he glared across the table at Gee. "And it will happen unless we start taking action immediately."
"Fine, Jason." The commander stood slowly, rising from her chair and fixing the Miscreant with a cautious look. "Fine. We'll do it your way. Where would you start?"
"Mass deployments across the east districts, starting from here," answered Howell. "Three to five-squad platoons, operating under a Jerkhief or one of us, with heavy fire support from both ground and air Transformer units. Chandler's had more than enough time to organize the EHPF, and now that we know we'll be dealing with a three-way war, we need all the heavy armor we can muster if we're sending our operatives up against battle tanks and Shockers."
"You're gonna need allied chu support as well," Wes Iseli added from his screen, pointing to the Fireshock Pendant around his neck. "I'll cover a ChinaTown platoon, but I'd recommend getting Simonchu and the Asperchus back out there as soon as you can."
"Excellent." Howell glanced back at the council. "Unless our…supreme commander…would prefer to come up with a more effective strategy?"
"Spare me the mockery, Jason," snapped Gee. "This is the last real chance we have to take back CWCville. If it doesn't work, I won't have the history books say we didn't go down fighting."
"You know as well as I do that history is written by the victors," replied the 4-cent_garbage administrator coolly, pointing to a crudely-drawn picture of the Miscreants taped to the wall. It was one of the original pages of the Sonichu comic book, recovered from the Mayor's office by Allison Amber just before she had fled the Shopping Center. "If we lose, Chandler will make sure everyone remembers us the way he does…as nothing more than the villains of his story."
Several miles southwest of CWCville's border, Viridian Forest outskirts, 11:51 p.m.
Shivering against the chilly night and huddled together for warmth, a mother and father Pikachu and their three offspring scampered across the clearing. Light snow was beginning to fall, and the wild Pokémon had been searching for food since sundown. Most of the pecha berries and other soft fruit had long ago been eaten by the other hungry denizens of Viridian. Still, the family had managed to survive on hard berries like chesto and oran since the days turned cold.
"Pika-pika?" The female Pikachu's ears twitched as she picked up an unfamiliar sound echoing through the forest. It was a low, mechanical noise, like the kind she and her family sometimes heard from the human vehicles when they ventured near Route 2. Unlike the sound of traffic, though, this one was coming from above.
"Chuuu! Pichu!" squeaked the youngest of the litter, and fearfully scurried behind his mother. The other two Pichus followed suit as the roaring drew closer and closer. Unsure of what to expect, the Pikachus rose onto their hind legs and turned toward the incoming noise, just in time to see the beams of four blinding spotlights pierce the edge of the trees and sweep across the clearing. One by one, La Llorona and three Mi-8 transport helicopters painted with the Team Rocket logo appeared over the treeline. The small family of Pokémon instinctively darted away from the loud machines, their quest for berries temporarily abandoned. As the convoy of choppers descended from above and settled onto the deep snow, the rear bay doors dropped open automatically. Jerkops poured out by the dozens, nearly all of whom were clad in the distinctive red, black, and white combat uniform of Team Rocket.
Taking a hesitant breath of the icy air, Kevin stepped out of the Chinook and felt his boots sink into the snowy ground. It felt strange to finally be outside of CWCville again, especially after all he had been through earlier that night. But considering Dexter's return, Nate's safe delivery to Wilderness, the reunion with Allie, and Al's unbelievable rescue from the edge of death, the Jerkop was definitely in a better position than he'd been an hour ago. Even in their depleted state, the Honey Badgers were back together again, and that was more than enough for Kevin.
Moving quickly and silently, Steve and Al disembarked, followed by Kuri, Allie, Jexis, and Serge. SUZI and Sugarplum Fury followed after them, the former riding on the latter's back. Around them, the Jerkops in Martinez and Lopez's squad had also gathered, along with the six full squads of Team Rocket operatives. Despite technically being on the same side, Kevin still wasn't entirely sure about working with the same group of terrorists that had almost killed him in 1998…especially now that they were on a mission to rescue the same person who had almost killed him. That, and his own cousin was holding Naitsirhc hostage on Chandler's orders. He could only hope that Kel would see reason before…
"Move out and secure the landing zone!" Giovanni ordered, striding through the deep snow towards La Llorona while the collection of Team Rocket squads hurried into formation. "Cash! Thaddeus! Are you absolutely sure this place is out of range? What about Magi-Chan Sonichu?"
"We don't have to worry about that," Clyde replied as he exited the massive transport helicopter. "Trust us on this one. I'm pretty sure that Magi-Chan's out of the picture for a good long time."
"We can't afford to waste time, then," growled the Team Rocket boss in a threatening voice. "My son's in there, Cash, and you had better hope he's still alive by the end of all this."
"Remember our agreement, Mr. da Silva," Jack reminded him. "This operation is ours and ours alone. Just give us the fire support we need, and I promise, we'll get Naitsirhc out alive."
A dark expression spread across Giovanni's face. "Very well. Lead the w-"
Prepare for trouble! Make it double!
Prepare for trouble! Make it double!
We'll be the richest rogues of all time!
Creators of a grand design…
"Arceus." Shaking his head in irritation, Giovanni plunged a hand into his coat pocket and withdrew a cell phone, from which the musical ringtone was emanating. "Hold on. I'll handle this." He raised the device. "Yeah? Yes, it's the Boss. Well, who else would it be, you…"
"How's your leg?" Kevin whispered to Allie. Though Clyde had made sure to use Vejovis on each of the injured Honey Badgers and Chupacabras prior to their departure, the Jerkop still didn't fully trust the strange medical device's capabilities. "Any more pain?"
Allie shook her head in wonder. "Nothing. It's like I wasn't even shot." She hesitated. "Kevin, I'm just…I'm getting worried about this. We left all those wounded behind at the Plaza, and now we've got this machine that instantly heals people? How come the admins didn't use it before?"
"I don't think they even knew about it," muttered Kevin. "God, I don't know anything anymore. Let's just get this done, and we can worry about the device after we get Naitsirhc and Kel."
"It's fucking barbaric," Jexis growled. "All that time, they were keeping the greatest piece of medical technology in human history locked up somewhere in Slumberland. We could've saved Amanda with it. We could've saved Zoey. We…we could've saved Matt…"
Kevin felt like saying something comforting to his squadmate, but he knew that not even Vejovis could have saved his best friend from Sonichu. Still, he couldn't help feeling a heavy surge of frustration with the PVCC high command in the back of his mind. Why, why was it so important for the Miscreants to have kept the device a secret up until now? Hundreds, if not thousands of lives could have been saved by using it, and it was only being brought out at the last minute? Clyde and Jack had provided the Honey Badgers and Chupacabras with bits and pieces of the machine's origin story during the flight, but not nearly enough for it to make any sense.
"What? What do you mean, you lost them?" Giovanni hissed into his cell phone. "You…hold on, what are you talking about? What the hell does any of that have to do with…" He paused for a breath, then continued. "You can't be serious. It's a Pikachu. A single goddamn Pikachu. You're telling me…you're telling me that you still can't get your hands on a single fucking Pikachu?"
Utterly perplexed, Kevin turned back to the forest ahead of him. It was nearly impossible to see anything through the darkness, apart from the moonlight reflecting off the snow. The Jerkops couldn't run the risk of using their flashlights during such a delicate operation, and apart from a few sets of night vision goggles that they had managed to acquire from Slumberland, they were entering Viridian Forest relatively blind. It was shaping up to be a tough operation, for sure.
"Utter incompetence. That's all I can ever expect from you two anymore." Giovanni's face had turned a rather unsettling shade of red, and he was gripping the phone with enough force that the screen seemed about ready to shatter. "Look, just get back to me when you come up with a real plan. I've got bigger things to worry about than some meddling group of trainer brats." He made as if to hang up, then let out an annoyed sigh. "Yes, I know you do, James. Yes, goodbye. Ugh."
"What was that about?" Clyde asked.
"You really don't want to start asking about the people I work with, Cash," growled the Team Rocket boss. "Let's just find my son before Chandler decides he's not worth keeping alive anymore."
East CWCville, Lower East District, Wilderness, medical quarters, 11:58 p.m.
"Here we go. Last stitch, and…there!"
"Ffffffff…" Nate winced, biting back one final cry of pain before it could escape. "Ugh. That was horrible. Let's not do that ever again."
"You're the one who got yourself into this, kid," stated the PVCC medic, winding a gauze bandage around the stitched gash. "In any case, you're lucky it's just a flesh wound. All you gotta do is keep that on for a week or so, but apart than that, you're-"
"I'll be fine." The Jerkop sat up and gingerly began to massage his aching leg. "Go and help the others. I can show myself out."
The doctor nodded and quickly hurried away to find another patient in need of more urgent care. Moving slowly, Nate swung his legs over the side of the cot and stood up. It didn't hurt as much as he'd thought it would, but he wasn't about to do any sprinting anytime soon.
Throughout the PVCC medical quarters lay dozens of injured Jerkops, many of whom had been caught in the ambush at Anne Boleyn Memorial Plaza. Nate still couldn't believe that the True Blue had actually massacred over fifty of his comrades in the span of ten minutes, but the very thought of such a sickening betrayal was enough to turn his blood to ice. It was no longer about the loyalists versus the rebellion – no longer a war of black and white. Even the PVCC, or what was left of it, seemed to be disintegrating under an overload of conflicting interests, tearing itself asunder in the process. And as a former employee of both 4-cent_garbage and Robotnik Technologies, Nate Shaw had been shoved headlong into the middle of a conflict far beyond his understanding.
But in the end, Nate's loyalty all came down to family. Kevin was still alive, that much he knew. What he couldn't figure out was how his little brother had managed to go from a simple run-of-the-mill Jerkop to Christian Weston Chandler's ultimate rival in the span of one night.
Kneeling down beside his cot, Nate sorted through the pile of dirty gear until he had extracted his disassembled Barrett rifle, his pistol, his knife, and the winter coat he'd been wearing at the time of KCWC's collapse. The latter was a little torn and covered in ash and dust, but still wearable. Methodically, the Jerkop strapped on his gear and began following the signs to the main elevator. One way or another, he was determined to get some answers about Kevin's whereabouts.
"Attention. Combat operatives in the following squads, please report to your Manajerks for deployment. Fireshocks. Lunatics. Dire STRAIGHTs. All PVCC personnel, the facility is still on high alert. Secondary air support launches commencing in T-minus three minutes."
Nate emerged into the hallway, only to find himself caught up in a torrent of armed operatives, technical staff, and medics. Men and women rushed past him by the dozens, some shouting hurried orders to their comrades as they ran. He had never seen a single HQ this active before.
"You gotta be fuckin' kidding!" a husky-looking Jerkop shouted as the announcement played out again. He and about twenty other uniformed operatives were clustered around the armory doors, impatiently checking their weapons and trading loud, crude insults with each other. "We've been waiting four hours to get out and kick some ass! What's the fuckin' holdup, you faggots?"
Arceus. Nate rolled his eyes as he recognized the squad. Perfect. That's exactly what we need.
"What the fuck are we waiting for?" demanded a fat, bespectacled operative, clumsily turning his baseball cap around on his head. "I'm gonna kneecap that fat fuck and make him shove a million Roseys up his ass! Gonna show those Honey Badger pussies how real badasses do this shit!"
"Goddamn, shut your fuckin' face, LoGatto!" barked the BattleAXEs Manajerk. "I'm squad commander, so I got dibs on the manbaby! The admins just don't want us showin' 'em up, 'cause we're fuckin' bosses, that's why! Bunch of fuckin' fags!"
Eager to leave the pitiful excuse for a Jerkop squad behind, Nate doubled his pace. The elevator was only a few yards away now, and from what he could see on the display, it was currently on the HQ's third floor. Hurrying over to the panel, he slammed his fist against the call button and stepped back, waiting for the doors to open. Behind him, the BattleAXEs continued arguing over whatever reason the admins had for keeping them inactive during the uprising. Truly, they were the most utterly pathetic collection of rejects ever fielded by the PVCC. The last thing he wanted was to be recognized by any of them, and considering that the Jerkop had just gone down in history as one of Rosechu's torturers, it would be a miracle if no one recognized him on the…
"Going up, hombre?"
"Yeah," Nate muttered, oblivious to the speaker's accent. "What squad are you with?"
"Same one as you, estúpido!" yelled Nick Martinez, wrenching his squadmate off the ground and into a crushing bear hug. "You thought I'd let you greedy bastards leave me behind again, huh?"
"Arceus! Goddamnit, Nick, put me down!" Laughing in disbelief, Nate struggled to pry his way out of the Mexican soldier's grasp, but even his strongest efforts proved futile. "How the hell did you know I was here? Hold on, wait, you didn't see Kevin or the others, did you?"
Nick shook his head. "Nope. I've been asking around, and all I've got is something about them going on a secret mission with Commander Cash. I didn't even know you were here, man! What happened? Why'd they leave you behind?"
"Got my leg all busted up when KCWC collapsed," explained Nate. "Arceus. Everyone else's off on the revolution, the Battle Bus exploded, my little brother almost killed Chandler, fifty Jerkops just got slaughtered…and we're stuck here. I feel like a fuckin' liability now."
"Welcome to my world," grunted Nick. "My lung's all better, by the way. Didn't help much, though. Fucking bureaucrats wouldn't let me come along with you guys for Hedgeclipper." He looked around the hallway briefly, trailing a Jerkop squad as they hurried towards the armory. "So why were you heading up, anyway?"
"I need to talk to the admins," demanded Nate. "We're in the middle of the goddamn uprising, half of us don't even know what we're doing, and I want some fucking answers. You coming?"
Nick grinned and patted the shoulder strap of his sniper rifle. "Right behind you, amigo. I…"
"Perimeter breached," reported the HQ's automated warning system as a shrill electronic wail cut off the Jerkop mid-sentence. Wilderness's alarm network had just been set off, plunging the base into immediate high alert. "S.A.V. sentry units locked on and engaging target. Stand by."
The deafening rattle of autocannon fire sounded from above as the Transformer drones opened fire on the incoming hostile. Seconds later, the PA system activated, broadcasting Vivian Gee's panicked voice throughout the building.
"Attention! All Wilderness personnel, we have an unidentified vehicle inbound on the western garage! Any Jerkop squads in the vicinity, get to cover and prepare to engage! Everyone else, clear the area! CLEAR THE AREA NOW!"
February 25, 2009, Viridian Forest, near Kel's cabin, 12:01 a.m.
"Clear shot, straight to the back door," Steve murmured, passing his monocular to Al and petting Sugarplum Fury's ears absentmindedly. "Think we can make it? It's just Kel in there, right?"
"We don't know if she still has any of her Pokémon with her," added Kevin, and pulled his jacket tight around his chest to keep out the cold. The wind had been somewhat stifled by the thick evergreens of Viridian, but even so, the temperature was now hovering just above zero. "I remember that she had a Dragonite…and that she nearly killed me with it, too."
"What? When was this?" asked Allie.
"Back before I even moved to CWCville. Remember, that was how I met Rosechu?" Kevin let out a sentimental sigh. "Arceus, that was forever ago. I wish I'd been there to see her die."
Allie squeezed his hand. "Me too. Goddamnit, Al, why'd you make us leave?"
"Sorry," the Legend grunted somewhat sheepishly. "Thing is, I kinda got carried away. I mean, you'd want to kill her yourself too if you had the chance, right?" He knelt beside SUZI and picked her up gently, then placed the little robot on his shoulder. She was still a bit cranky after having her volume set to Mute, as a precaution against possibly compromising the operation.
"At least we'll always have the Hedgeclipper tapes," added Jexis. "I caught a bit of Robbie's death, but that's about it. Can't wait to see the whole thing once we get done with all this shit."
"Speaking of…" Steve gestured to his squadmates, holding up a hand for silence and dropping his voice to a low whisper. "Down. Contact."
Kevin dropped out of sight behind a snowy bush next to Allie, while the rest of the Honey Badgers took up hiding positions around the small cluster of trees. Through the thick forest, he could see a tiny glint of firelight flickering through the window of Kel's cabin, and an odd purple shimmer above the building. At first, he didn't know what contact Steve was referring to, until…
With a crackle of arcane energy, the purple shimmer expanded, and a single figure gracefully leapt down onto the roof of the building. Kevin quickly grabbed the monocular from Allie and peered through it. Even with her back to him, it was more than obvious who the newcomer was. After all, there was only one Rosechu in CWCville who would have picked such a ridiculous ensemble of clothes to use as her battle outfit of choice.
"I am Crystalina Rosechu, pretty sailor-suited champion of CWCville!" Crystal Chandler announced to absolutely no one, striking a ridiculous pose ripped straight from Sailor Moon as her miniskirt fluttered in the winter breeze. "In the name of truth and honesty, I will punish the PVCC for my dear brother Christopher!" She raised a hand to her tiara, and the air around her began to shimmer with malevolent purple energy. "CHAOTIC SCOUTS! POWER UP!"
Three more psychic signatures appeared on the roof, and three more Rosechus stepped forth from the energy portals. Holding his breath, Kevin scanned each of the new arrivals. All but one of them were covered in pink fur, and each wore a different variation on Crystalina's sailor suit. Before the Jerkop could even ask Al or Steve who the group of newcomers was, the trio of female Electric Hedgehog Pokémon conveniently introduced themselves, one after another.
"Agent of Fire and Attitude, formerly called Brit-Tay Rosechu!" yelled the red-skirted Scout, conjuring a fireball around her gloved fist. "FLAMIE ROSECHU! Fire Chaos Heart, Make-up!"
"Agent of Fluff and Cheeriness, formerly known as Moe Rosechu!" The Scout in the white skirt performed a swift pirouette, her odd hockey stick-shaped tailbolt nearly smacking all three of her comrades in the face. "FUZZIE ROSECHU! Love Chaos Heart, Make-up!"
"Agent of Lightning and Harmony, formerly Bride Rosechu!" the final Scout announced. Waves of electric energy coursed across her body as she charged a minor static shield, causing her odd light green fur to stand on end. "SPARKIE ROSECHU! Thunder Chaos Heart, Make-up!"
"The Mayor has given us our most important mission yet, Scouts!" Crystal explained, whirling around and placing her hands on her hips as she addressed her team. "The evil and nefarious Naitsirhc, son of Giovanni, has given his powerful trolling…uh…powers…to my brother's greatest nemesis!" She shuddered dramatically, as did the other Rosechus. "We've got to find the source of Naitsirhc's power, so that Christopher can rebuild his Heart Level enough to defeat his rival Kevin Shaw once and for all! In the name of truth and honesty, we will defeat him!"
"CHAOTIC HEART POWER GO!" With a single choreographed movement, the four Rosechus leapt from the roof, disappearing from the Honey Badgers' sight and landing on the other side of Kel's cabin. Even if any of the Jerkops could comprehend what had just happened, there were simply no words to describe the sheer level of face-palming ridiculousness they had witnessed.
"Greatest…nemesis?" Allie breathed, staring at Kevin in awe and confusion. "What?"
"Chandler's been after me ever since I left him that note and tried to kill him in the Shopping Center," the Jerkop whispered. "He's got me on top of his enemies list as his new rival."
"Arceus." Allie's face had turned several shades paler. "When the hell did this whole revolution get so fucking complicated? First KCWC, then the Pokémon Center, then that…that massacre at the Plaza, and now all this..." Squeezing her eyes shut, she fought back a shiver. "Everything just went batshit crazy after Hedgeclipper, Kevin. I don't even know what we're doing out here anymore."
"Me neither, Allie." Kevin edged closer and placed an arm across her shoulders supportively. "Me neither."
"Oh, son of a bitch," snarled Al. "Goddamnit, I just figured it out. That's what Schwartz did."
"If you know anything about this, Al, now's the time to start talking," Steve hissed, glancing at his squad commander from behind a tree. Ripping his walkie-talkie from its shoulder strap, he raised it to his mouth. "Chupacabra Command, come in. You seeing this shit, Martinez?"
"Wish I wasn't, Morrison," replied Joshua Martinez over the short range frequency. "New orders. We're staying on overwatch until Giovanni gives us the green light. You sure you want to take the breach? There's still time to change your minds. Over."
Steve shot a knowing look at Kevin. "Wouldn't miss it, amigo. Watch our backs, over."
"Copy. We'll be right behind you. Out."
"And that's done." The Manajerk turned back to Al. "What'd you say about Schwartz?"
"Remember what he told us while Kuri was interrogating him?" asked the Legend. "The day Chandler returned from the Time Void, Leary's Minnesota compound was attacked. Sonichu and Chandler ended up 'rescuing' four Rosechus who were being put through the Asperchu program. The process wasn't complete, so Chandler had Schwartz recondition the four of them into…these things."
"Huh. That's…" Steve looked puzzled for a moment, and quickly counted on his fingers. Suddenly, the color drained from his face. "Wait. Wait a minute. You said there were four?"
"Yes," remarked Serge. "We fight four traitor shock-pigs, clone Mayor shock-pig girl, and insane stalker girl, all at same time."
"Goddamnit. New plan. New plan." Al grabbed the radio from Steve and changed the channel to the rescue team's command line. "Commander Cash, Honey Badger Command. I don't know if you're seeing this, but the situation just escalated to a whole new level. We've got multiple enemy contacts in sight and are expecting heavy resistance and heavier casualties. Permission to revise the attack, over."
"Negative, Ledger," answered Clyde Cash. "We knew the Scouts were gonna be here, and as far as I'm concerned, this is all Giovanni's show from here on out. Just hold your position until the Team Rocket assault gets the green light. We'll draw them away from the house, you worry about getting Na-"
"All callsigns, this is the Boss," Giovanni's sinister voice snarled through the radio. "Snatch and grab is in effect. Rocket squads, circle your targets and engage at will. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT fire on the cabin!" He paused, letting the command sink in for a few moments. "I want my son back. I want him back alive, and I'm counting on you to get the job done. Team Rocket, prepare for trouble!"
"MAKE IT DOUBLE!" roared the Rocket squad commanders simultaneously. "OPEN FIRE!"
"ARROWHEAD! BREACH MISSION, ARROWHEAD!" Leaping upright, Al drew his M1911 and pointed toward the cabin, just as the sharp chatter of hundreds of gunshots sounded from the woods around the front of the cabin. Around the edges of the building, Kevin could see Rocket grunts advancing by the dozens, firing and hurling Poke Balls frantically into the fray. Almost instantly, the air came alive with shrill battle cries and flashes of lightning as the Chaotic Scouts and Crystalina Rosechu launched their counterattack.
The battle for Naitsirhc's life had begun. Now it was up to the Honey Badgers to make the save.
East CWCville, Lower East District, Wilderness, west garage, 12:03 a.m.
"How the fuck did they find us?" yelled Nick, hastily taking up a sniping position by some heavy supply crates as the autocannons continued strafing the unseen vehicle outside. "Nate, take the other side and go for the tires! If they get inside…"
"They won't," snarled Nate, propping his rifle's bipod on the cold concrete floor to steady it. The garage had been sealed off from the inside, but if a vehicle the size of the intruders' managed to get through the S.A.V.s' defensive fire, not even the heavy sliding doors would stop it. "Bet Schwartz gave 'em everything they needed to get through security. For all we know, every single HQ just got compromised because of that traitorous little shit. Don't know why they only sent one transport, though. Unless…"
"Unless it's a truck bomb." Nick drew the bolt of his rifle back and forth, ramming a bullet into the breech. Beside him, a small group of Jerkops from the Headhunters squad were setting up what seemed like a wall of heavy machine guns and RPGs. "Mierda. If they set that thing off inside Wilderness, we're fucked. Hit those bastards with everything you got, hombre."
"Shit! Goddamnit! Brian, dude, what the fuck happened to our grenades?"
Nate looked over his shoulder and instantly regretted his decision. The BattleAXEs had arrived on the scene with all the poise and subtlety of the average Michael Bay action film. The squad's Manajerk, Dallas Starr, appeared to be arguing with one of his squadmates, a pasty, dark-haired operative who looked like he was about ready to burst out crying. Ignoring the shouting and profanity from behind him, Nate busied himself with adjusting the scope of his Barrett.
"They're not stopping," muttered Nick. "They should've been vaporized by now. What's going-"
"I told you, I didn't lose them!" Brian stammered, attempting to save face in front of the other operatives in the garage. "Why the fuck can't you just leave me alone and-"
"Looking for these?" The Headhunters Manajerk unclipped a small spherical object from his belt and waved it at the BattleAXEs. "Here's a bit of free advice: never go in against the Highlander when you know you can't win, laddie."
"I'LL FUCKING BEAT YOUR ASS NEXT TIME, MACLEOD!" screamed Brian. He wasn't even attempting to hide the tears streaming down his cheeks now. "YOU HEAR ME, YOU FUCKING PUSSY? I'LL BEAT YOUR ASS SO HARD YOU'RE GONNA SHIT A HAGGIS!"
"Keep it up." MacLeod grinned and patted the handle of the katana hidden beneath his trench coat. "You'll have to put in some serious practice before you beat me. There can be only one, you know."
"You…you bet all of our grenades...on an MvC match...against MacLeod...and you lost?" Even Dallas was stunned by his squadmate's idiocy and utter incompetence. "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, YOU STUPID FAGGOT? WHY WOULD YOU EVER-"
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" roared Liquid Chris as he and Kacey burst into the garage, armed to the teeth and accompanied by Robert Simmons. "We've got an APC coming in and you fucking clowns can't even keep your fucking mouths shut for five fucking minutes?They just broke straight through the barrier! We're gonna have True Blue all over us if we don't take that thing out in the next thirty seconds!"
"Liquid, Kacey, come in!" Vivian Gee's voice crackled through the Miscreants' radios. "Target's still active and on approach! That armor's too thick for the autocannons to get through, and it keeps dodging our fire! It's all up to you now! Good luck!"
"We'll do what we can," Kacey growled. "They're not breaching Wilderness, that's for goddamn sure."
"FUCK YEAH!" one of the BattleAXEs yelled. "LET'S DO THIS, FAGGOTS! GET SOME!"
"Starr." Liquid didn't even bother to look at the fuming Manajerk, who was still glaring daggers at Brian. "Take your squad and guard the hallway in case they get through. You're our last line of defense, and everyone here's counting on you. Also…" He paused. "Double XP."
"WOOT! On me, homeboys!" ordered Dallas, suddenly encouraged by the Miscreant's blatant lie. "We got a fuckin' control point to hold, you pussies! GO GO GO!" He sprinted for the hallway, and was immediately followed by the entire squad of stampeding, whooping Jerkops.
"Thank fucking Christ." MacLeod let out a sigh of relief. "Commander Liquid, Commander Gee, we're ready to engage on your mark."
"Same here," added Nick. "Nate, you good?"
Nate nodded. He could still hear the BattleAXEs yelling from the hall, but at least he was still able to keep his concentration focused on the noises coming from the approaching transport.
"Commander Devoria to Overwatch," Kacey snapped. "Bryan, can we get a visual yet? Over."
A squeal of tires sounded from outside the sealed garage, and the engine's roar increased. The vehicle's driver had just gunned its engine. It was more than obvious that they were going to ram the door at full speed. Nate wondered if he would be able to roll out of the way fast enough to avoid being smashed against the floor like a bloody tomato. No matter what, at least he would be able to take some of the occupants out first. Even the strongest body armor was no match for a .50 caliber BMG round.
"Overwatch here," Bryan Bash responded hastily. "We're at max zoom on the UAV, Kacey. Image's coming in…wait for it…what? Holy shit, it's a school b-"
CRASH! CRUNCH! The doors buckled inward with a piercing metallic squeal as the armored behemoth plowed straight through, splitting the metal apart with the steel prow on its forward hull. Nick and Nate's momentary shock was immediately drowned out by a chorus of gunshots from the firing line around them. Bullets impacted against the vehicle's armored surface and reinforced windshield by the dozens, but apart from a few holes and cracks in the bulletproof glass, they didn't seem to be having much of an effect.
"What the fuck?" Nick shouted, lowering his sniper rifle to the floor in utter disbelief. "WHAT?"
"Duncan! Duncan, take it out! Take it out!" shouted MacLeod, waving to one of his Jerkops who was carrying an RPG. The man hurriedly raised the rocket launcher to his shoulder, drawing a bead directly on the inbound transport.
"NO! STOP!" Bracing himself for the explosion of pain in his injured leg, Nate pushed himself upright and tackled the Jerkop seconds before the RPG-7 round shot out of the launcher. With a loud whoosh, the rocket curved away and exploded harmlessly against the door, mere feet away from turning the vehicle's engine into a heap of burning slag.
"SHAW! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Kacey yelled, her face white with panic as the transport bore down upon them. "SHIT! FALL BACK! EVERYONE FALL BA-"
"MADRE DE DIOS! HOLD FIRE!" Nick shouted. "THAT'S THE FUCKING BATTLE BUS!"
Smoke poured from the armored school bus's tires as it braked and swung to the left, nearly tipping onto its side. The driver was locked in mortal combat with the steering wheel, barely managing to keep the mammoth vehicle from spinning out or flipping over. One by one, the operatives ceased their assault and backed away, all watching in anticipation to see what would happen. Just when it seemed as if the Battle Bus would crash into the barricade, it ground to a halt, its crippled frame creaking and its engine belching oily black clouds into the air. Only when the sounds of the last gunshot faded away did the Jerkops realize that it had been playing music.
…about his company,
Is what you say about society!
Catch the mist, catch the myth,
Catch the mystery, catch the drift!
"I thought you said it blew up at KCWC," Nick panted, helping his squadmate up off the floor as the Battle Bus's speakers sizzled out and died then and there. "Tom Sawyer" abruptly ended.
"It did," coughed Nate. "Who the hell got it working again?"
The door slid open, and Patrick Ryan promptly collapsed out of the bus and onto the concrete. The man's face was as white as a sheet, and he looked about ready to vomit then and there. If it hadn't been for the large cigar hanging from the corner of his mouth or the large pair of cracked aviator sunglasses covering his eyes, Nate might not have recognized him in this state.
"Holy shit." Liquid Chris stepped forward carefully and raised his walkie-talkie, motioning for the Jerkops to lower their weapons. "Vivian, the vehicle's a friendly. It's…uh…Patrick Ryan."
"What in the absolute holy mother of FUCK," gasped Ryan, hauling himself upright as Zero Sonichu and Sean Collins stumbled out after him, "do you assholes not understand about the term 'friendly fire'?" Drawing a Beretta pistol with the arm that wasn't currently wrapped in a sling of bandages, he pointed it toward the ceiling and fired, startling more than half of the assembled Jerkops. "Yeah! Good times, right? Hey everyone, let's all shoot at the unarmed school bus full of hobos and toys! Fifty points if you blast your own goddamn DJ in the face!"
"Stand down. Stand down," ordered Kacey. "Commander Gee, situation is under control. Repeat, situation is under control."
"Hey! Ryan!" Assisted by his squadmate, Nate limped toward the furious radioman. "Ryan, how the fuck did you…did you just…"
"Yeah," huffed Ryan. He still sounded immensely angry, but a small smile crept across his face as soon as he noticed the Honey Badgers. "We couldn't just leave her there, you know. I mean, she saved our asses and everything. Plus, it would've been kind of a dick move not to return it."
"Glad to see you made it out of KCWC." Nate grinned. "Any chance we can get her back on the road soon? Al's gonna shit his pants when he sees this, and I definitely want to be there for that."
Viridian Forest, Kel's cabin, 12:06 a.m.
"That's it! Stack up! Stack up!" Looking around at his squadmates, Al drew back the slide of his pistol and chambered a round. "Kevin, Kuri, breach and clear! SERGE, BATTERING RAM!"
"STAND ASIDE, TINY WEAKLINGS!" bellowed Serge. "INCOMING! YAAAAAHHHH!"
CRUNCH! The massive Russian hurled himself into the flimsy wooden door with the force of a charging Tauros, tearing the entire thing off its hinges in a shower of flying splinters and raising a beefy arm to shield his eyes. Without wasting a second, Kevin and Kuri each swung around the edges of the newly-created opening and tossed a flashbang grenade through. Two sharp blasts sounded from within, nearly inaudible beneath the hellish din toward the front of the cabin. As the two Jerkops rushed inside with their weapons drawn, a sizzling Thunderbolt arced through the shattered window, leaving a black scorch mark and setting some of the wallpaper on fire. Only a few bullets had struck the small house during the course of the battle, and Kevin wasn't exactly thrilled to be at the mercy of a few dozen Team Rocket operatives.
"Clear!" reported Kuri, signaling her comrades to follow them in. Al, Steve, Allie, Jexis, and Serge poured through the doorway, checking every shadowed corner for signs of movement. SUZI and Sugarplum Fury remained outside, a safeguard just in case Crystal or one of the Chaotic Scouts decided to see if there were any enemies coming from behind.
His heart pounding, Kevin cautiously made his way to the window and peeked out. The battle was in full swing outside, with teams of Rocket grunts engaging each of the Rosechus with a barrage of shotgun and SMG blasts. They were working tactically, keeping the sailor-suited chus from assembling and drawing Crystal away from the fiercest fighting in order to target the much weaker and far less competent Flamie, Fuzzie, and Sparkie. Despite their best efforts and the aid of a handful of Koffings, Arboks, and Golbats, the former terrorists hadn't managed to kill even one of the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. For all of their obvious flaws, the Scouts were unbelievably nimble, whirling through combat like lightning and repeatedly flashing their panties at their opponents before attacking with vicious Thunder Waves or spinning kicks. Flamie was doing the most damage out of all of them, hurling fireballs left and right and forcing the operatives to seek cover through the trees to avoid being hit.
But Crystalina was an entirely different problem. Even as a mere clone of Chandler, her fighting spirit had been roused, and aided by her Rosechu form, she was dealing out incredible amounts of damage among the Team Rocket squads. Kevin could only watch in fury as she speared an operative through the chest with her tailbolt and Thunderpunched another into a tree, snapping the man's spine like a dry branch. Yelling encouragement to her Scouts, she spun just in time to summon a Thunderbolt and blast a dive-bombing Golbat into little more than a cloud of ash.
"A…Arceus…" Kuri murmured, her voice racked with horror and disbelief as she stared at the floor. "I think…oh, fuck, I think that's blood…"
Kevin managed to tear himself away from the chaos outside. "What? What'd she find?"
"This isn't good. Fuck, this isn't good at all." Holding his M1911 at the ready, Al followed the dark trail of red stains all the way from the living room to where it disappeared underneath the door to the west wing of the house. "Everyone stack up again. Steve, Jexis, Serge, check the other side and keep your eyes open. We'll check these two and go through the last one together."
Dreading what lay behind the door, Kevin obediently pressed himself against the wall. The last time he had been in this cabin was over a decade ago, and the place seemed to have undergone a few serious decoration changes since then. It almost looked abandoned, with cobwebs lining the ceiling and a thick coat of dust across the furniture. The only real additions were a series of many, many photographs taped all across the walls. The subject of them was always the same. There was no mistaking that reddish brown hair, those crimson eyes, or that arrogant smile.
Naitsirhc, son of Giovanni. The walls of Kel's cabin were literally plastered with a twisted collage of the young Team Rocket heir's face. In many of the pictures, he either appeared to be asleep, wounded and beaten, tied to a bed, in a bathtub, lying unconscious in bed beside a grinning young woman, or even…
"Holy fucking hell," Steve groaned, averting his eye from the unholy spectacle of debauchery and focusing on a frighteningly creepy doll of Naitsirhc lying on a small table across the room. "This is…she made all of this shit. This is what she's been doing ever since…"
"Ever since Chandler killed Reldnahc and put Nait into a coma," said Al. "Let's hope they weren't smart enough to teleport him out before we got here."
"Breaching," announced Kevin, and gently pushed the dining room door open. While it was true that he had been expecting some frightening new display of Kel's madness, nothing could have prepared him for the unfathomable horror of what lay on the other side. A rush of warm, rancid air struck the Jerkop full in the face, and it was all Kevin could do to keep himself from fainting or vomiting. Holding an arm over his face to block out the stench of decay, he peered through the door...
...and instantly wished that he hadn't.
The bodies of six Pokémon lay strewn about the former kitchen and dining room, some of them reduced to skeletons, some with flies and maggots still swarming over their rotting flesh. Kevin scanned the room in shock, his eyes drifting from corpse to corpse. A colossal Lapras sat in the center, its head and neck severed at the base, its shelled torso stripped of meat. On the table lay the butchered carcass of a Rapidash, now little more than stringy bones and hooves. A Golem's stony shell had been cracked open to reveal the muscles and rotten organs within, and a Manectric was sprawled across the sink, several blades protruding from its shrunken midsection. The freshest kill was a Blissey, which looked like it had just been shot multiple times with a small-caliber handgun. But most sickening of all these horrors was the looming Dragonite corpse, its belly slashed open, its maggot-infested intestines spilling out of the yawning, ragged cavity. Even though it looked like it had been dead for months, the Pokémon's face was still frozen in a look of abandonment, of desperate, pleading betrayal.
David.
"Kevin?" Kuri coughed as she touched his shoulder, gently pushing him aside to look for herself. "What the hell is that smelLOHHHHH SWEET FUCKING ARCEUS, WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK?!"
"She…killed them…" Kevin breathed, backing away from the door with a look of disgust. "Son of a bitch…she did that…"
"Oh, it was all just part of the Mayor's plan for us," a rattling, high-pitched giggle sounded from behind the Honey Badgers. "I don't want my Nait-Nait to starve, after all."
Kevin spun around, his AK-47 raised to fire. The third and final door creaked open slowly, revealing a thin, emaciated figure with its face cloaked in shadow. Clutching a pistol in one hand and a bloody lock of hair in the other, the monster that had once been Kel Felix emerged into the light. Gone was the spirited, eerily cheerful young woman he had seen at Sonichu's Christmas party. In her place stood something from the realm of nightmares. Its lips and the flesh of its mouth had been torn away, and now hung in bloody ribbons from the exposed gums and pale bone of its teeth and jaws. Blood spattered its chest, dribbling down from the deep lacerations on its face. It was dressed only in torn shorts and a dirty bra, both of which looked as if they hadn't been washed in months.
"K…" he gasped, barely able to form the word through the waves of raw, cold terror pounding through his heart. "K…Ke…Kel?"
"It's so good to see you again, Kevin!" Kel giggled again, but it sounded more like the rustling of dead grass. "Nait and I have been waiting solong for you to come and visit us!" She gestured to the dining room. "Can I get you something to eat? You must be hungry!"
"You…fucking…bitch…" snarled Kuri, slowly turning from the massacre to face the girl who had slaughtered her own Pokémon so coldly and unquestioningly. Her hand began to edge toward the Great Ball clipped to her belt. "You…heartless...cunt…"
"Oh, that's not very nice behavior. Not very nice at all." Kel tried to purse her lips, but without any lips to speak of, this was essentially impossible. "You know, Mayor Chandler told me that some trolls were coming to take my boyfriend away and make him into a homo again." She shuddered. "Why? Why do you want to destroy our love and shatter our hearts? We were brought together in the eyes of God and the Bear, and you want to take that away from us?"
"It's not real, Kellie." Kevin stepped forward, holding out a hand toward his cousin. "Don't shoot. Everyone, hold your fire."
"Fuck that," Steve snapped. "Kevin, she's got a gun. She's got a fucking gun. What are you-"
"Kel, remember what it was like before the chus came?" asked Kevin, forcing himself to look the deranged girl in the eyes. If there was still some humanity left in her, he had to try and uncover it. "Remember when you were a trainer? Remember all the Pokémon you caught by yourself?"
A hoarse laugh began to build in Kel's throat, growing louder and more manic by the second. "Pokémon? I only ever had one, Kevin. I only had…Rosey." In a flash, she raised the pistol, taking aim at her cousin's face. "AND YOU MURDERED HER, KEVIN. YOU KILLED MY ROSEY AND BUTCHERED HER BABIES…YOU FUCKING TRAITOROUS MONSTER."
"Kel," Kevin begged, his voice trembling on the edge of desperation. "Kellie, please…don't do it."
"I'm sorry, Kevin." Kel's voice had diminished to mere sobs now. "He told me…I didn't have a choice. There were voices…all around me…they told me that I had to…stay with my true love."
"He's not your true love," retorted Kevin. "Chandler forced you to be with him…he had Magi-Chan brainwash you or something so he could get Naitsirhc out of his life, or...I don't know, but Kellie, look at me, we can fix this. Just…put the gun down."
"There's no fixing this now," sniffled the broken girl. "Rosey's dead, and you're here to take Nait away from me. And when he's gone, I…I won't be necessary anymore. He won't need me after that."
White-hot rage coursed through Kevin's veins. He had never before been so utterly ready to tear Chandler's flabby throat out with his bare hands. How dare he. How dare he ruin this innocent girl's life. How dare he corrupt her and transform such a sweet, energetic little Pokémon trainer into the sick, inhuman psychopath that stood before the Jerkops. But no. One way or another, everything that the Mayor touched eventually turned to madness. It was a constant, an absolute, an unbreakable law of whatever twisted reality CWCville existed in.
"I'll kill him for this," he promised. "I'll make him suffer for what he did to you. To all of us."
"You can't." Kel drew the hammer back with a sharp click. A tear trickled down her bloody cheek. "No one can make the voices stop."
"For fuck's sake, Kel, this isn't you!" Kevin shouted. The sounds of battle outside and the yells from his comrades behind him were fading away, leaving nothing but him and his cousin. "I can get you out of here! I can make the voices stop! I can help you, Kel! PLEASE!"
The madwoman's eyes locked onto his, fixing him with a steely gaze that held nothing but a mixture of hatred, fear, regret, and sorrow. For a second, something flashed behind the mask of insanity covering Kel's face, a look that only Kevin caught. It was an image that would stay with him for the rest of his life – the one sign of something true, something honest, something that had finally pierced the suffocating blanket of lies that Chandler had smothered her with for ten long, miserable years. Behind the monster's eyes lay a tiny piece of the girl she had once been, trapped, struggling, pleading, begging for her cousin to set her free.
In that instant, Kevin knew what he had to do.
"I can help you," he murmured, reaching out in a final attempt to salvage his doomed hope. "Kellie, I can...I can save you."
"Then save me," Kel snarled, and pulled the trigger.
East CWCville, Lower East District, Wilderness, administrator meeting room, 12:08 a.m.
"…and once Sean got her running again, we loaded everything and everyone onto the bus and got the hell out of there before Punchy realized what we were doing," explained Patrick Ryan, gratefully sipping from a glass of Jameson with his uninjured arm. "We ended up running that slanty-eyed bastard over a few times, though. It won't keep him down too long, but he's gonna be feeling that for the next couple hours, that's for goddamn sure."
"I'm more surprised by the fact that you even managed to make it all the way across the city in that piece of junk," replied Vivian Gee, clearly astonished by the radioman's survival. "Arceus, Ryan, we all thought you were going to die."
"Really?" Ryan glared at her. "Well, thank you so fucking much for sending in the cavalry, Viv. Next time, let me know before you decide to leave the whole 'evacuation' thing up to me and a bunch of hobos. Oh, and thanks, by the way, for that delightfully warm welcome."
"That wasn't our fault, and you know it." The PVCC supreme commander rolled her eyes. "I'm gonna be honest, Ryan, you picked a pretty good time to show up. We're in the middle of the single biggest Jerkop deployment in history, and we need all the help we can get." Interlacing her fingers, she let out a brief sigh. "We need someone to manage the comms, specifically, the ones between us and the Jerkop squads in the field. As of right now, Ryan, I'm appointing you as secondary director of communications. Think of it as an apology for leaving you out there."
"I…what?" The radioman's jaw dropped. "Wait, for the entire PVCC?"
"You'll be operating under Bryan Bash," explained Gee, handing over a radio. "This connects directly to our command channel. I want an update every five minutes, understood? Dismissed."
Ryan nodded and left the room, still speechless at his sudden promotion. Not wasting any time, the Miscreant turned to the meeting room's only other occupants – Nate Shaw, Nick Martinez, and Dexter Booth. Jason Kendrick Howell and the rest of the Miscreants were currently overseeing the final deployments, and most of them – including Liquid, Kacey, and Robert Simmons - were heading out into the field to launch the final push against Chandler.
"Now that's done with," she continued, facing the pair of Honey Badgers, "I suppose you two deserve a little explanation as to what happened to the rest of your squad."
"We just want to know where they are," snapped Nate, barely masking the impatience in his voice. "Commander, my brother's out there, and I just want some answers."
"Right. Here's what we know." Gee didn't even bother to reprimand the Jerkop for speaking out of turn. "Several hours ago, Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus took control of six squads, including yours, with the simple goal of evacuating KCWC. Then your brother disappeared off the face of the earth, and that's where things started to go wrong." She slid a handful of photographs across the conference table. "I don't know how, but Kevin Shaw ended up at the Shopping Center in the hands of a group of bounty hunters known as the TrollBusters. According to your friend here, he actually managed to take Chandler hostage."
"Yeah, and that's another thing." Nick glanced at Booth out of the corner of his eye. "How the hell are you still alive, anyway?"
"Long story short, it's really complicated," muttered Dexter. "Remember that purple Rosey we found in the lab last April? Her name's Aki, and she's the reason Kevin isn't dead now. She teleported right into the Shopping Center and got him out of there before Chandler killed him."
"And thanks to Booth's cooperation, we now know exactly why Magi-Chan Sonichu hasn't been interfering with PVCC activities since Hedgeclipper," added the Miscreant. "Please, tell them."
Dexter sighed. "She's his daughter. His cloned daughter. Don't ask, just go with it. Now he's trying to find her so he can transfer his consciousness into her body and cheat death. From what I can tell, Aki's been leading him on a chase across the city, drawing him away from the PVCC so that Chandler can't call him up for support. She can't beat him, but she can definitely stall him."
The two Jerkops instantly shot each other a look of utter confusion. This was the first they had ever heard about any of this. To them, Dexter was just rambling, but Gee seemed to understand.
"What the hell are you talking about?" asked Nate.
"I said, it's complicated." Booth shrugged. "If we ever get some downtime, I'll explain it more. So Kevin gets out, we head to the Pokémon Center together, and meet up with Steve's group and Clyde Cash. Turns out that Al's with another squad at the Plaza, and that's when things got…"
"…utterly fucked up," finished Gee. "Around the same time that Cash and Thaddeus returned to Wilderness for Schwartz's interrogation, a small army of former True Blue mercenaries launched a surprise attack on the Plaza. Cash and Thaddeus went silent, but Kacey reported seeing the Honey Badgers and Joshua Martinez's operatives extracting their three squadmates. Ledger had been shot, and seemed to be dying."
"WHAT?" Nick yelled. "No! Fucking hell, not Al!"
"Don't panic." The PVCC commander held up a hand for silence. "I don't know whether Ledger is alive or dead. We haven't had any contact with Cash, Thaddeus, or even Slumberland since that point. All we know now is that your squad and Los Chupacabras are currently operating under a pair of renegade Miscreants, and possibly cooperating with Team Rocket. Four helicopters were reported leaving Slumberland shortly after, in the direction of Viridian Forest." She leaned forward, fixing the Jerkops with a steely glare. "They're going after Naitsirhc."
"So…what does that mean for us?" asked Nate. "I need to get to my brother, Commander."
"No, Shaw, what that means is that you're going to stay right here," ordered Vivian. "You too, Martinez. I've already got Bryan and Howell working on it, and if all goes well, we should be able to get some idea of what's happened to the rest of your squad. For now, your orders are to remain at Wilderness until further notice."
Nate's jaw tightened, but he held back the angry retort. "Yes…Commander Gee."
"I'm sorry, Shaw." The Miscreant gestured for the two Jerkops and Booth to leave. "I truly am, but this city's falling into chaos, and we have a revolution to run. Dismissed."
Silently, the three men rose from their chairs and departed, leaving Vivian Gee to her own devices. None of them even spoke a word until they had all filed into the hallway, and were well out of earshot from any of the administrators.
"This is fucking loco," Nick growled. "What the hell are they doing? We're just supposed to wait for them to sort this all out for us? They can't even keep their own goddamn allies together!"
"It's…I just…" Dexter glanced at his feet and raised a hand to scratch his head. "I didn't know any of this shit was happening with Al and Steve and Kevin and…" He hesitated. "They've been interrogating me for an hour or so. I told them everything I could about what happened, but it just sounds like the whole command structure's falling apart."
"Yeah, you're definitely not alone on that one, Booth."
The Jerkops and Dexter looked back to see Patrick Ryan standing in the hallway behind them. The DJ's face was set in a confident smile, as if he was trying his best to keep himself from revealing some shocking secret to his friends.
"They really need to soundproof those walls," Ryan continued, pointing over his shoulder to the administrator meeting room as he fell into step beside the two Honey Badgers and Booth. "Heard everything. Sounds like you guys might need a hand."
"And what's that supposed to mean?" asked Nate. "Unless you've got a way to get us out…"
"That's exactly what I was about to say." The radioman held up his newly-acquired walkie-talkie and skillfully switched the dial to a channel that read I.R. "Ryan to Eggman, Ryan to Eggman, come in Eggman, over."
"It's Doctor Rrrrrrobotnik, you ignorrrramus!" an irate voice shouted back over the radio. "I'm very busy at the moment, Rrrryan! You had better have a good rrrreason for this interrrrruption, or I will make sure you…"
"Nice to see you too, Ivo," answered Ryan. "Listen, I'm calling in my favor. Vivian just put a few of my friends under house arrest, and they're gonna need that whole school bus fixed up and rearmed as soon as possible. And when I say 'rearmed', I mean it. Put everything you got into that motherfucker. Oh, and if you could do it in an hour, that would be even better."
"EavesdropPINGAS usual, I see!" The mad scientist cackled amusedly. "Well, you're rrrrrright about that favor, Rrrrryan, but I can't prrrrromise you any miracles with those meddling admins brrrrrreathing down my neck!" He sighed. "Well, get a load of this! Make sure you're at the east garrrrrrage in half an hour, and I'll see what I can come up with!"
"Got it." Ryan clicked the radio off and smiled at the two Jerkops. "Consider your ride pimped."
Viridian Forest, Kel's cabin, 12:10 a.m.
BANG! BANG!
The darkened interior of the small cabin lit up with blinding flashes as Kel loosed off two shots from her pistol. Hurling himself backwards in desperation, Kevin swung his AK-47 upright and fired off a three-round burst just before he slammed painfully into the wall. He could hear a faint, piercing whine ringing through his skull, muffling the surprised yells of his squadmates behind him. Everything seemed distant now, separate, as if a sudden rift in time had just opened around the two cousins. The gunshots' echoes began to fade, leaving utter silence in their wake.
Pain arrived moments later, as if a burning dagger had plunged into the right side of Kevin's chest. Wincing, he looked up to see Kel drop her pistol and crumple to her knees…slowly, gracefully, like a falling leaf. Two ragged holes had been punched straight through her torso - one in her belly and one just above her heart. Blood flowed from the wounds, sheeting down as the pallid skin of the girl's abdomen was swiftly covered by a dark coat of red…
Kel…
Trembling in horror at what he had just done, Kevin crawled forward across the pink carpet. He could feel warmth beneath his bulletproof vest, a wet, sticky warmth that soaked his shirt and the splattered remains of Robee Sonee. With a sudden lunge, he reached out and caught Kel before she could hit the floor, holding the dying girl in his arms as she shuddered and whimpered in pain. Her face was chalk white now, her skin cold, her eyes glassy and distant like those of a doll.
None of that mattered to Kevin in the slightest. Staring blankly into Kel's eyes, he reached out and pulled her into a final embrace, hugging her as hard as he could as her frantic heartbeat slowed to a crawl. He felt her fingers grasp his hand and squeeze with the last of her energy.
"K…Kevin…" she whispered, barely able to summon enough energy to speak. "Kevin…I…"
"Arceus. Arceus, no…" Kevin's words were only just barely coming through, and it was all he could do to keep from bursting into incomprehensible sobs. "Kel, I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…"
"Don't…" A faint smile spread across the girl's face, and that same expression of understanding seared through her eyes as she drew her last breath. "Kevin…thank you…"
The faint pulse ceased, and Kel Felix slumped limply into her cousin's arms. Kevin knelt there for another few seconds, then slowly raised a hand to her face and closed her eyes. Easing her body down, the Jerkop placed her on the floor, as peaceful and still as if she had only been sleeping. A strangely hollow feeling welled up inside him, and for some inexplicable reason, his eyes were devoid of tears. There was no sadness within him, no regret at what he had just done to a member of his own family. At last, the misery that had consumed him since that fateful day at the Shopping Center in 1998 had been snuffed right out, crushed beneath a rising explosion of pure hatred that threatened to tear him asunder from within.
There was no room for sorrow anymore. Now, only the fire remained.
"It's over…" he whispered, and looked down at his bleeding chest. "Goodbye...Kellie."
"GODDAMNIT, KEVIN, NO!" Al grabbed hold of Jexis's arm and pulled the medic forward, hurrying across the room in a matter of seconds. "Stabilize him! STABILIZE HIM! Steve, get me a line to Cash! I don't care what it takes, just get me that fucking medigun!"
"Commander Cash, this is Honey Badger Command!" yelled the Manajerk, ripping his walkie-talkie off his shoulder strap as Allie hurled herself toward Kevin with a panicked yell. "SHAW'S DOWN! SHAW IS DOWN! WE NEED VEJOVIS, I REPEAT, WE NEED VEJOVIS NOW!"
"FUCK! GODDAMNIT, MORRISON, HOLD YOUR POSITION! JACK, COVER ME!"
"Sit-rep, Jexis!" barked Al as he, Allie, and the teenage medic formed a hasty ring around Kevin's body. "How bad is it? Steve, Kuri, check the other rooms and find Naitsirhc! Serge, can you give the other squads any cover from here?"
"Is not good time for Baba Yaga!" the Russian Jerkop grunted, peering through the window at the battle outside. "Too many puny Rockets for Serge to shoot at sailor shock-pigs!"
"We just need to hold out long enough for Cash to get here," the Legend snapped. "Allie, for fuck's sake, get off of him!"
"No, I need her to keep pressure on the wound!" Jexis ordered her squadmate as she opened her medical kit and withdrew a thick gauze pad and a roll of tape. With her combat knife, she slashed open Kevin's shirt to reveal a bloody hole just below the Jerkop's right pectoral. "I think it went through one of his lungs and hit the ribcage! Fuck, he's bleeding out! He's gonna bleed out, Al!"
"KEVIN, NO! NO NO NO!" screamed Allie. "AL, WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO?"
"CHYORT!" roared Serge, retreating from the window. "INCOMING!"
CRASH! The huge Jerkop was flung mercilessly away from the door, tumbling head over heels as the entire front wall of the cabin exploded inward with a burst of fire and flying wooden shards. Smoke billowed from the massive opening, and the burning debris slowly settled around a pair of red high-heeled boots as the intruder stepped forth and struck a triumphant pose.
"Ha! Take that, JERK!" sneered Flamie Rosechu, raising her hand to hurl another fireball at the helpless Russian. "You should know thatnobody can sneak up on the Chaotic Sc-"
"HEY ASSHOLE!"
BOOM!
Al's mouth dropped open as the female Electric Hedgehog Pokémon was instantly killed, half of her skull exploding in a mixture of shredded meat and bone shards. Another thunderous blast of buckshot liquefied the rest of Flamie's head, messily painting the cabin walls with liquefied grey matter and sending the Rosechu toppling backwards to the floor.
"That's what I call a fuckin' makeover, bitch!" shouted Adrean Grace, racking a fresh shell into his shotgun as he and Lori Lopez stormed through the back doorway. The other Jerkops of Los Chupacabras were hot on their heels, hurriedly taking up defensive firing positions and helping Serge to his feet while the Honey Badgers looked on in astonishment.
"WHEEEE! YOUR HEAD A SPLODE!" SUZI giggled, clinging to Sugarplum Fury's back as the honey badger trotted into the room and obediently made a beeline for Steve. It was obvious that the LIESA unit was no longer obeying her mute command, despite Al's insistence.
"Good kill, Grace!" Joshua Martinez sprinted inside, yelling into his radio. "Chupacabra Command reporting one hostile down! We're in the cabin with Ledger's team, one Jerkop injur-"
"FLAMIE! NOOOOOOOO! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, TROLLS!"
ZZZZZAAAAAAPPPPP! Without warning, a Thunderbolt arced through the half-destroyed wall and missed Adrean's head by mere inches. A second sizzling crack rang out, and the surprised Jerkop quickly found himself hurled across the room by the sheer force of the Thunder Wave. Taken off guard, the Chupacabras who hadn't been thrown backwards in the blast immediately raised their weapons to target the attacker. Before they could even draw a bead on the Rosechu, another sphere of electricity burst in the middle of the cabin, expanding outward with a sound like a clap of thunder. Al impulsively raised a hand to shield himself, but the shockwave floored him and the other Honey Badgers nevertheless. Seconds later, he slammed into the wall.
"You villainous Jerkops will pay for your wickedness!" shrieked Crystalina Rosechu as she touched down on the front porch and stepped into the cabin. "In the name of True and Honest Love, I will make sure my brother Christopher punishes all of you for your evil deeds!"
Behind the Rosechu, Fuzzie and Sparkie were still facing off against the Team Rocket squads, keeping the operatives at bay with wave after wave of heavy electric attacks. With their leader's head currently reduced to pulp and their commander occupied with threatening the two Jerkop squads, the resolve of the remaining Chaotic Scouts now seemed to be faltering significantly.
Breathless and stunned, Al fought to push SUZI off of his chest and extricate himself from Sugarplum Fury. The honey badger had somehow landed directly on his face, and it was a small miracle she hadn't clawed his eyes out in a panic. Steve wasn't much better off, having softened the impact for Serge and Kuri after both of them had been flung straight into him. Given that the huge Russian had at least sixty pounds of muscle more than he did, the unfortunate Manajerk had suffered something close to being hit by a charging rhino. Allie and Jexis lay dazed against the fireplace, and only Kevin seemed to have avoided the blast…due to the fact that he was currently lying flat on the floor with a bullet in his lung.
"GodJesus, you jerks just never learn!" Crystalina continued haughtily, levitating off the floor with a forceful push of psychic energy and giving the shocked Jerkops a horrifying glimpse at her panties. "I'll deal with you later! But until then…" Raising a hand to her tiara, she conjured another rippling sphere in the center of the room, and her eyes flashed with violet light. "NOW!"
The sphere pulsed once, then expanded to nearly ten feet in diameter as the fourth and final Chaotic Scout materialized in Kel's cabin. At the same time, Crystalina blinked out of existence and reappeared on the battlefield just in time to deliver a flying missile dropkick to a Koffing and slash a Team Rocket operative's face open with her tailbolt. Emboldened by the return of their commander, the other Rosechus pressed their attack, cheering and spinning through combat as they fought to drive back their foes.
Kevin was nearly delirious from blood loss by now, but even he couldn't have passed off this new arrival as a hallucination. Standing at an imposing height of almost three yards, the armored behemoth of a Rosechu loomed above him, her entire body concealed behind layers of composite plating. It looked like the kind worn by EHPF Shockers, but significantly more advanced, with a heavy shock cannon mounted to its arm instead of a copper coil. The other arm bore a similar weapon, but it seemed to be fed by a pump mechanism and a tube of some sort. If it hadn't been for the translucent visor shielding the pilot's face, Kevin might have thought that Chandler had somehow created his own version of the infamous Metal Sonichu…except in female form.
"AGENT OF WATER AND PARAPLEGIA, FORMERLY KNOWN AS MARY ROSECHU…" announced the Scout, moving her Shocker armor into the same ridiculous pose as her comrades had displayed on arrival. Her voice was being broadcast from speakers in her visor, and sounded almost like that of a robot. "FOAMIE ROSECHU! WATER CHAOS HEART, MAKE-UP!"
"SUZI!" Al shouted, hurling the LIESA unit straight at the mechanized Rosechu's face. "SUZI, LAZ0R SPAM, NOW!"
"TAKE IT OUT!" roared Martinez. "FALL BACK AND FOCUS YOUR FIRE!"
"IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZ0R!"
Stretching his hand out weakly past Kel's motionless body, Kevin fumbled to grab the stock of his fallen Kalashnikov just as the Chupacabras and Honey Badgers opened up on Foamie. The sounds of gunfire and SUZI's laz0r had turned to a dull, steady pounding in his skull, and even with the hasty bandage on his chest, the Jerkop could still feel blood seeping from his injury. Through blurry eyes, he saw the armored Scout raise her arm cannon and unleash a pressurized blast of water that ripped a ragged gash through the side of the cabin, nearly decapitating Jexis and a nearby Chupacabra. Bullets ricocheted off her by the dozens, rebounding up into the ceiling and away into the walls, floor, and furniture. If Serge had managed to fire Baba Yaga, he might have been able to bring down Foamie through a concentrated barrage, but a swift Hydro Pump from the Rosechu knocked the minigun out of his hands before he could even spin up the massive weapon. The only thing that seemed to be having any effect against Foamie at all was SUZI's laz0r, due to the fact that she was loosing off blast after blast into the Rosechu's visor.
Even at point blank range, the Jerkops were severely outclassed by this new opponent. Blinded as she was, Foamie was still all but unstoppable, swatting at the hovering LIESA with her gauntlets while firing jets of water and electrical blasts at anything she could see. Without any real plan of attack besides "keep shooting until it stops moving or explodes", the two squads scattered, seeking cover behind the kitchen doorway and any furniture they could find. Seizing their opportunity, Steve and Kuri circled around and began emptying their magazines into the back of the Rosechu's head. Foamie let out an electronic shriek and staggered into the fireplace, missing Allie by a mere two feet as the Jerkop grabbed hold of Jexis and rolled out of the way.
"I WILL DEFEAT YOU, TROLLS!" screamed the armored Rosechu. Rising from the pile of smashed bricks and charcoal that had once been Kel's fireplace, she lifted an arm to block the incoming salvo and unleashed a sizzling Thundershock with the other cannon. "TAKE THIS!"
ZZZZAAAAAPPPPPP!
"GET DOWN! GET DOWN!" yelled Martinez as one of his operatives shuddered and collapsed in a smoking heap, cooked alive by the electric attack that had arced over her cover. "FUCK! GODDAMNIT, SHE GOT LIZ! MEDIC!"
"Go for the legs! Knock her over!" ordered Al, waving to the Chupacabras Manajerk from across the room. "Grenades! Use your grenades! Allie, Jexis, get Kevin out of here! Serge, go for Baba Yaga! Steve, Kuri, keep him covered!"
"Get behind something!" Martinez ordered. Three of his squadmates were already priming a high explosive grenade apiece. "FIRE IN THE HOLE!"
Two pairs of hands closed around Kevin's shoulders and legs, hoisting him off the floor and dragging him away into the room that Kel had emerged from. In his weakened state, it was useless to try to struggle free. Seconds later, three explosions rocked the building, followed by a panicked shout of "NO EFFECT!" from one of the Chupacabras. The gunfire resumed, as did the crackling roar from Foamie's shock cannon. He heard a Jerkop scream in pain, accompanied by the pressurized hiss of another water jet.
"Arceus," panted Allie as she and Jexis placed their injured squadmate down on the rug. "Jexis, come on, we need to stabilize him before…"
The medic didn't respond. She was currently staring at the bedroom's single occupant, her mouth hanging open in astonishment and disgust. As soon as Allie realized what she was looking at, she nearly froze in place herself.
Emaciated, scarred, stripped, and riddled with cuts and bruises, Naitsirhc da Silva lay on the bed, weakly gasping for breath. The young Team Rocket heir looked as if he'd been severely starved, and the skin of his chest was stretched thinly over his protruding ribcage like that of a famine victim. Blood trickled from the corners of his mouth and from the many, many deep gashes that Kel had obviously been inflicting on him with…
"Oh…my…God…" Jexis gasped as her eyes settled on a bloodied whip hanging next to the bed.
"It's okay. It's okay." Fighting to keep down the nausea rising in her stomach, Allie grabbed a clean sheet from the bedside table and flung it over Naitsirhc. "Just focus on Kevin. We can worry about this once he's stable, okay?" She sounded close to desperation. "Please, Jexis!"
The wall shuddered from another explosion. From the sound of it, Foamie was still wreaking havoc among the Jerkops. Even the fight against Angelica in 2004 hadn't been this difficult, and the Honey Badgers hadn't even had a full squad to deal with her. Then again, the Combo member hadn't exactly been equipped with a nine-foot-tall suit of heavy armor, either.
"What did you do for Nick?" Allie demanded, kneeling beside her wounded boyfriend. "He got shot in the lung with a fucking sniper round and he survived! We just need to stop the bleeding!"
"The bullet's still inside him!" Jexis snapped. "I can't stop internal bleeding, Allie!"
"Can we slow it?"
"What?"
"Clyde's got Vejovis," explained Allie. "He's going to bleed out in a few minutes, right? Is there a way we could just slow down the bleeding and buy some time for it to get here?"
"Not much…" muttered Jexis. "I'll do what I can." She looked down at Kevin, putting on the most encouraging look she could muster. Even then, it was more of a grimace than a smile. "Kevin? Kevin, just keep your eyes on Allie and try not to move. I'm going to have a look at y-"
CRASH!
"FUCK! FUCK!" Allie screamed, leaping upright and swinging Trogdor the Burninator off of her shoulder strap as Foamie tore through the bedroom wall like tissue paper. The armored Rosechu was nearly berserk now, screaming a tirade of self-bleeped curses and struggling to free herself from what looked like…
"I MUST BREAK YOU, COWARD!" bellowed Serge in what appeared to be an insane fit of battle fury. Fighting with nothing but his bare hands and beefy arms, he had somehow managed to lock Foamie's Shocker suit in a choke hold, despite the Scout's many efforts to throw him off. "TEN YEARS WAITING FOR WORTHY OPPONENT, AND NOW WORTHY OPPONENT COMES TO SERGE! AAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAA!"
"Serge?" Allie's eyes widened considerably as she realized she had accidentally pulled the massive flamethrower's trigger. "SERGE, GET-"
FWOOOOSH! Hungry flames exploded from between the consummate V's of Trogdor's maw, blasting forth and igniting both the mechanized suit of Shocker armor and the huge Jerkop clinging to it. Incredibly, Serge didn't seem to mind the fact that he was currently on fire, and only seemed to double his efforts on pummeling Foamie's weakened visor into oblivion with his bare, bloodied knuckles. The Rosechu, meanwhile, was being slowly roasted alive in her armor by the torrent of blazing fuel that Allie had just sprayed her with. Her hydro cannon had been ripped open by gunfire, and was now gushing water everywhere but the places she wanted it to.
"FUCK! HANG ON, SERGE!" Dashing toward the armored Scout, Steve ripped a cylindrical grenade off his belt. "Serge! Serge, turn her around! EVERYONE, COVER YOUR EARS!"
With a maniacal roar, the Russian fastened his hands around Foamie's plated helm and gave it a sharp turn to the left. In her blinded and burning state, the Rosechu didn't even see the flashbang until Steve shoved the grenade through the hole in her visor and hurled himself to safety.
CRACK! A burst of white light and a billowing cloud of acrid smoke erupted from the Shocker armor as the grenade detonated spectacularly. Serge toppled to the floor, stunned by the deafening noise. With the armor still intact, it was impossible to see what had happened to the Rosechu, but Allie could tell that Foamie was most likely going through the mother of all headaches at the moment. Distorted screams filled the cabin as the armored Scout staggered around, attempting to keep her balance while dealing with the flashbang's painful aftereffects.
"Don't shoot!" Al leapt to his feet as Steve raised his revolver for a headshot. "Push it over!"
"WHAT?"
"We're not done with this bitch yet!" Hurling himself at Foamie, the Legend slammed into the Shocker suit and pushed as hard as he could. "Kuri, Steve, give me a hand! Martinez, come on!"
"GET HER! CHARGE!" The Chupacabras Manajerk dashed forward, adding his own strength to the trio of Honey Badgers. Seconds later, Lori Lopez and Adrean joined them. Despite Foamie's frantic struggling, she appeared to be losing her balance. It wouldn't take much more to bring her down, and once she was, not even her armor could stand before the furious Jerkops.
"MOVE ASIDE, WEAKLINGS! YAAAAAHHHHH!"
WHAM!
"HAHA! NOT SO MIGHTY NOW, TINY GIANT!" snarled Serge, plowing straight into the Chaotic Scout as his surprised comrades parted around him. The Russian Jerkop's winter coat was still ablaze, and it was obvious that he didn't care in the slightest. Already off balance, Foamie hit the floor with a panicked scream and a heavy crash, her damaged armor sparking and riddled with impact craters. Gripping her visor, Serge placed a boot on the Rosechu and wrenched it off in a cloud of smoke to unveil his helpless opponent.
Beneath the heavy screen of bulletproof glass, most of the skin and blue fur of Foamie's face had been messily seared off by the immense heat of the flashbang. Her eyelids were scorched away, and the fused eyeball beneath was now a mess of bubbling, jellylike goo. The electrical organs in her cheekspots had also been exposed, leaving her only able to writhe and scream endlessly as the Jerkops surrounded her and pinned the Shocker suit against the floor.
"Good! Good job, Serge!" Steve leaned over the screaming chu and spat in her face. "Kill her."
"Hold that order, Morrison." Drawing his tapanga machete, Joshua Martinez advanced with a look of vengeful fury gleaming in his eyes. He raised a hand and pointed to the two fallen Chupacabras, one of which had nearly been flayed alive by the pressurized force of Foamie's hydro cannon. "This bitch killed Liz and Thomas. She's mine, you understand? Mine."
Steve immediately shut up and backed away hastily. Even he knew not to stand in the way of a Manajerk who had just watched two of his own Jerkops die horribly.
"LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU TROLLS!" shrieked Foamie, thrashing around violently. "Crystal will be here to save me and defeat you any second now! Just you wait! Good will triumph and-"
"Right, then." Martinez bared his teeth, reaching inside the reinforced helm to undo the locking mechanism that sealed her armor shut. "Let's see what you look like on the inside, bitch."
The Shocker suit hissed and split open, revealing the rest of Foamie. A network of wires and cables covered the Rosechu's arms, while her legs appeared to be firmly attached to the armor by screws. If she had indeed been paraplegic when Sonichu and Chandler had "freed" her and the other Scouts from Leary's compound, then it made sense for the Mayor to have made a custom powered Shocker suit to assist her in walking. Not that it would do her any good now…
"Looks like she's locked in there," Al commented, glancing at Martinez. "Need a hand?"
"Yeah, I guess I could," chuckled the Manajerk. "Khitrovo, help her out of there."
"Is Serge's pleasure," Serge grunted, and grasped Foamie around her torso. "One, two, three!"
"WAIT! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
CRACK! CRUNCH! The Rosechu's shrieks reached their apex as Serge ripped her straight out of the armored restraints, leaving a complete set of bloody arms and legs behind. Hurling Foamie's bleeding torso to the floor, he kicked it toward Martinez, who immediately and gleefully began carving his victim apart with the machete. It didn't take long for him to bring the total number of living Chaotic Scouts down a second notch, but he didn't exactly let Foamie die quickly.
"Arceus." Al took a deep breath, calming his heartbeat back toward a reasonable pace. "That was a fucking nightmare. Steve, Kuri, go find out where Kel was keeping Naitsirhc and…KEVIN!"
The Jerkops turned toward the hole leading to Kel's bedroom, just in time to see Jexis and Allie supporting their injured and bandaged squadmate between them. Kevin's face had gone pale and blood was slowly trickling out of his mouth, but there was no doubt that the Jerkop was alive.
"We're running out of time," Allie explained quickly, wiping the blood from her boyfriend's mouth with her coat sleeve. "Naitsirhc's in there! Al, we need to get them to Vejovis, now!"
"And what the fuck is taking Cash so long?" Steve hurried to the smoking ruin that had once been the front wall and peered out to see Clyde and Jack attempting to ensnare Sparkie with the medigun's intake beam. "Oh. Right. Goddamnit, they're not doing too well out there." His eye opened considerably wider as he glanced back to his still-burning squadmate. "Oh yeah, and by the way, Serge, HAVE I MENTIONED THAT YOU ARE ON FUCKING FIRE?"
"How do you want to do this, Josh?" Al asked as Serge, Steve, and Kuri hastily attempted to extinguish the flames on the Russian Jerkop's back. "We could hit them from behind, but we might catch the other squads in a crossfire. If we circle around and try to…"
"No. Fuck that. We're going right through the middle," snapped Martinez, wiping his bloodied machete off on Foamie's butchered carcass. "Somebody grab Naitsirhc and carry him. Everyone else, load up for assault! We'll come back for Thomas and Liz as soon as we get him to Cash!"
"I'll take him." Strapping his shotgun across his back, Adrean hurried to the bedroom and gently picked up Naitsirhc's starved, sheet-wrapped body before anyone else could volunteer. "Keep me covered out there, okay?"
"Will do," Al replied. "Jexis, Allie, you two okay with Kevin?"
The two Jerkops nodded worriedly. Their injured squadmate seemed to be growing weaker by the second. It would be a miracle if they managed to get him through the war zone alive.
"Then let's do this." The Manajerk sheathed his machete, raised his assault rifle, and turned toward the battlefield. "Chupacabras! Honey Badgers! CHARGE!"
Outside Kel's cabin, 12:25 a.m.
"No shot! Goddamnit, Clyde, I've got no shot from here!" yelled Jack Thaddeus, frenziedly switching from target to target with his P90 as the three Rosechus darted and leapt through the melee of Team Rocket operatives and attacking Pokémon. Despite heavily outnumbering Crystalina and her Chaotic Scouts, the assault was quickly turning into a bloodbath for the Miscreants, and they certainly couldn't risk a dash for the cabin. "We need to pull them apart!"
"Thirty percent!" Clyde glanced at Vejovis's tank, then switched the machine to heal mode and blasted a Rocket grunt that Crystalina had just launched a Homing Attack on. "I need to refuel her, ASAP! Try and pin down one of them so I can get a lock!"
"Well, well!" giggled a familiar, high-pitched voice. "If it isn't my brother Christopher's old nemesis, Clyde Raymond Cash!"
"SHIT! JACK, GET HER!" Throwing himself out of the way just in time to avoid the incoming shock attack, Clyde hit the ground and rolled as Jack sprayed the sailor-suited Rosechu with half a clip of SMG rounds. With a shriek of surprise, Crystalina curled into a ball and hurled herself upward, twirling acrobatically in midair before launching into a second Homing Attack straight down toward the Miscreant.
"CRO!"
WHAM! A purple, four-winged blur smashed into the descending Rosechu, knocking her out of the trajectory and sending them both crashing into the snow. Screaming in rage, Crystalina leaped to her feet before the Crobat could recover and slashed it in half with her tailbolt, then fired a bolt of psychic energy at Clyde's face. Only sheer reflexes and a heavy amount of luck saved the Miscreant from instant death.
"My brother swore to strangle you, Clyde Cash!" continued Chandler's clone, smirking with arrogant satisfaction as she strode across the battlefield toward the pair of PVCC admins. A trio of Rocket grunts hosed Crystalina with SMG fire from the right, but in the blink of an eye, she had darted up to them and fired off a Thunder Wave that catapulted all three men away a good thirty feet. "You think that you can defeat the powers of Honesty and True Love? HA!"
"Come and get some, bitch!" yelled Clyde, bringing Vejovis around and priming it. The Rosechu was still out of range, but maybe he could lure her into making a fatal mistake. The Miscreant was somewhat eager to see what the medigun could do against a chu as powerful as Crystalina. "You want to strangle me, huh? Here I am, you fucking abomination! COME ON! DO IT! DO IT! D-"
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHMMMMMMFFFFFFFFFF!"
"SPARKIE!" Crystalina whirled around just in time to see a pair of Arboks beating the Scout into the ground with their tails. Half the Rosechu's body had been drenched in acid from a lone Victreebel she had just electrocuted, and the dissolving flesh was now slowly dripping and melting away to expose her ribcage and pelvis. A group of Rocket operatives dashed in, each hurling a small object at her and drawing their Arboks back into their Pokéballs before Sparkie could recover from the beating. The grenades exploded at point blank range, blasting the Chaotic Scout into chunks and incinerating her body at the same time. By the time the smoke cleared, not much remained apart from a pile of bones and a massive red smear in the snow.
"GODJESUS! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!" shrieked Crystalina. Raising her fist, she summoned a ball of psychic energy and launched herself at Clyde. "HI-YAAAAAAAAAH!"
"THAT'S IT! KILL 'EM!"
Crystalina didn't even have time to turn before the hellish barrage from Baba Yaga churned up the snow around her. More gunfire from the advancing Honey Badgers and Los Chupacabras struck her in the back and across the shoulders, forcing the Rosechu to abandon her charge and weave back and forth through the chaos. Al, Steve, Joshua, and Lori stood at the forefront, laying down a suppressive barrage while their squadmates hauled Kevin and Naitsirhc behind them.
"There we go!" Clyde shouted, switching Vejovis to full power. "NOW!"
With a collective squeal of "DENIED!", half a dozen Devil Trolls burst from beneath the snow and opened fire with their stubcannons, screaming "DAKKADAKKADAKKA!" at full volume. Dozens of sizzling plasma bolts peppered Crystalina, leaving tiny welts and scorch marks in her fur as she promptly tripped and skidded out of control towards the cabin. Wasting no time, the pair of Miscreants rushed to intercept their wounded enemy.
"That's it! We got her!" roared Al, waving wildly toward Clyde. "COMMANDER! HERE!"
"Jexis! Hold him!" Allie shoved Kevin into her squadmate's arms, heaving Trogdor around to unleash a wave of blazing fury upon the inbound Rosechu. "I'll take her! Get clear! Get clear!"
BZZZZZZEEEEEEWWWWW!
Kevin's back arched, and his eyes snapped open instantly as the beam of crimson light struck him in the torso. Shocked, Jexis followed the trail of energy back to Clyde Cash, who was in the process of emptying the contents of Vejovis's tank into the injured Jerkop. Spasms shot through Kevin's body, growing more and more intense as the trickle of blood from his chest subsided. In less than five seconds, the pain had been reduced to a hardly noticeable ache, and the massive surge of weakness evaporated. He could feel his body mending, his regenerated lungs filling with icy winter air as he drew in a deep breath and exhaled a cloud of steam into the night sky.
Now, there was nothing holding back his vengeance.
"Keep that beam on me, Cash!" Kevin shouted, twisting free of Jexis's grasp. Before any of the Honey Badgers could stop him, he had hurled himself at Crystalina, tackling the weakened Rosechu to the ground and delivering blow after blow to her face. "ALLIE! TORCH HER!"
"WHAT?" Allie screamed. "No! Kevin, I can't!"
"DON'T THINK!" roared the Jerkop. "JUST DO IT!"
Squeezing her eyes shut, Allie flipped Trogdor's feed valve to SCORCHED EARTH and wrenched back the trigger. A deafening whooshsounded from the weapon's muzzle, and both Kevin and Crystalina instantly disappeared in a crackling wall of flames. Through the fire, Allie could see her enraged boyfriend punching the Rosechu again and again, protected against the immense heat by the regenerative power of Vejovis's field. Crystalina, on the other hand, was feeling the full force of the flamethrower's wrath, writhing and shrieking in agony while she unleashed Thundershocks and Thunderbolts into her attacker's body. Surrounded by a cage of unbearable heat, Kevin continued his assault, drawing on his near-inexhaustible supply of rage to fuel every vicious punch. Despite her own healing factor, Crystalina's nose had shattered, many of her teeth had been knocked out, and large pieces of her skin was flaking off and peeling away.
"KEVIN!" Al shouted. "KEVIN, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, GET OUT OF THERE BEFORE-"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, AL!" screamed Kevin, expending the last reserves of oxygen from the deep breath he had taken. "ALLIE, THE MEDALLION! GET THE MEDALLION!"
"What? OH!" Allie dashed forward, throwing Trogdor aside and thrusting her fireproof gloves into the inferno. Wincing against the wall of heat searing her face, she closed her fingers around the small pink clay sculpture and pulled backward with all of her might. The cord around Crystalina's neck snapped like dry grass, sending the Jerkop tumbling away onto her back.
As Kevin pushed himself off and rolled through the snow to extinguish the flames, the Rosechu's body shimmered with blinding white light and began to change shape. Her ears and headspikes vanished, her hedgehog features smoothed and blended together into a more humanlike face, and her tail retracted. The fire vanished from around her body as the transformation finished, leaving nothing more than a shrieking, shivering young woman clad in a striped shirt and a pair of jeans.
Crystal Weston Chandler had emerged at last.
Rising from the snow, Kevin staggered toward his fallen opponent. His face was covered in soot and black scorch marks, most of his clothing was now a smoldering mess, and the healing light of Vejovis no longer surrounded him. Clyde had expended all of the medigun's energy into the Jerkop, keeping him alive during the course of Crystal's beatdown.
"Arceus…" gasped Steve. "Kevin, what the hell were you thinking?"
Kevin didn't respond. Turning around, he locked eyes with Clyde Cash, just as the Miscreant and Jack Thaddeus skidded to a halt beside him and Allie. Across the battlefield, the only remaining Scout, Fuzzie, hadn't even noticed the defeat of her commander. As the Team Rocket soldiers and Pokémon closed in around her, she continued to battle on, screaming desperately for her dead comrades and Crystalina to come to her aid. Unbeknownst to the Rosechu, the only thing that was on its way to her was a very painful and very messy death.
"Good…good job, Shaw," panted Jack. Raising his P90, he drew a bead on Crystal's head. "Holy fuck, am I glad Clyde wanted to bring you along for this."
"So that's it, then," Kevin growled, wiping a mixture of blood, sweat, and ashes from his face. "All this time. You've been using me."
"I…" Clyde hesitated. "Shaw, Chandler made you his rival! If we can exploit that enough to…"
"You didn't bring us out here just to rescue Naitsirhc," continued the Jerkop in a low, dangerous voice. "You didn't care that my girlfriend, our medic, and our squad commander nearly died. All you wanted was me." Reaching out a hand to Clyde, he let out a half-crazed chuckle. "And as far as I'm concerned, Commander, I am fucking DONE. Give me the medigun."
"Stand down, Shaw." Jack shot a glare at Al. "Ledger, tell him to stand down."
"It's all right, Jack," said Clyde, shrugging Vejovis off as a look of realization spread across his face. "He's earned it. If this goes the way I think it will, we might push Chandler over the edge."
"You…" A weak gurgle rose from Crystal's battered body. "No…not Shaw…"
Wordlessly, Clyde set Vejovis's power pack down and passed the nozzle over to the half-burned Jerkop. Wrenching the device out of the Miscreant's hands, Kevin flicked the beam setting to INTAKE and aimed it directly down at the cloned woman lying at his feet.
"Hello, Crystal," Kevin greeted her, ignoring the yells of protest from Al, Steve, Allie, and his squadmates as they surged forward in an attempt to stop him. Clyde and Jack moved quickly, drawing their own weapons and shouting for the Honey Badgers to stand down. "Yeah, I'm still alive. Your brother could have left us alone. Your brother could have ended this anytime you wanted to. Your brother could have stopped…before it all came down to this."
"You'll…never…win…troll…" panted Crystal, feverishly crawling backwards as Kevin moved closer, one step at a time. "You can't…you can't do this! Christopher will come and rescue me!"
"Oh, really?" Raising his foot, Kevin drove it into the clone's stomach, knocking the wind out of her. "Can he feel that? Why don't you call him, huh? Call your brother, Crystal. Call him over."
"HUHHHHH!" Crystal whimpered, choking for breath as she closed her eyes and concentrated on delivering a psychic cry for help. To help her along, Kevin slammed Vejovis's barrel against her face, breaking her nose and instantly flooring her. "Huh…help…Christopher-"
"That's better." Kevin grinned as a violet glow filled his victim's eyes. "Hello there, Chris. It's been too long, asshole. Too long."
In the back of his mind, the Jerkop could almost hear Chandler's scream of pain and rage as his mind and Crystal's mind became one. For the first time in his life, the Mayor was experiencing what it was like to have a psychic link hijacked. In her panic, his clone had opened a connection, and now it was his rival's turn to use it against him in the cruelest possible way.
"I know you're listening, you fat fuck," Kevin snarled, his eyes blazing with fury, "and I just wanted to let you know a few things, Mayor. We rescued Naitsirhc. We slaughtered your Rosechus and stole Crystal's medallion. As for me…well, you just forced me to murder my little cousin. I gunned her down, Chris. I watched her die in my arms." He blinked, and unconsciously wiped away a tear from his cheek. "And you? Well, you just signed your own death sentence."
"CHRISTOPHER!" Crystal screamed silently, her desperate pleas echoing through the Jerkop's subconscious and back to CWCville, to the mind of her creator. "CHRISTOPHER! HELP ME!"
"You want to defeat me, don't you, Chris?" Kevin placed a boot directly on Crystal's chest and shoved the barrel of Vejovis into her face. "You want to know what you did to me? This is what you brought upon yourself. This is what you forced us all to feel like for ten fucking years." He wrenched the trigger back, relishing the cloned woman's screams of utter agony. "THIS!"
BZZZZZZEEEEEEWWWWW!
"KEVIN, NO!" screamed Allie. "KEVIN, DON'T DO IT! DON'T DO THIS! PLEASE!"
"This, Mayor," hissed Kevin, grinning maniacally as he watched Crystal's face being slowly peeled down to the bone by the medigun's merciless rays, "is the way your world ends."
West CWCville, Lower West District, ruins of KCWC Studios, 12:27 a.m.
"You arrived…just in time, Christian," lied a decidedly worse-for-wear Punchy Sonichu. The Mayor had arrived at KCWC about half an hour after the Combo member's unpleasant encounter with a school bus full of angry hobos and Irishmen had left him with multiple broken bones and a series of black tire marks crisscrossing his body. At the present, he was struggling to stand up, his healing factor having taken its sweet time in reversing the damage.
"Did...did anyone see the plates on that bus?" the Sonichu panted, trying to hold his shattered ribcage together with an equally broken hand. I hear they have some fine...CHINA! Heh heh." Despite his grievous injuries, Punchy's sense of random-access humor was as strong as ever.
"Well den, y'all seem ta have pushed through tha limit on dat dere, Punchy," Christian Weston Chandler sighed. When he'd checked up on the Sonichu's progress towards shutting down that dang slanderous broadcast…only to find out that his creation was under attack by a gang of JERKS, he'd been worried that Punchy had had a run-in with Shaw himself. There was no doubt that the Troll King had been responsible for this. No one had ever seriously harmed a member of the Combo before tonight, so it just had to have been him! Nobody else in the world had that kind of power! But at least he'd found Punchy alive, and as an added bonus, there was now nothing between them and shutting that dang broadcast down once and for all.
Gazing up at the ruined radio station, the Mayor shuddered reflexively. He'd never been too fond of blood and gore, and being on a relatively fresh battlefield near so many human, Sonichu, and Sonee and Rosey corpses was making him fear for the cleanliness of his briefs.
"Let's, uh, let's go an-, uh, we oughta check with Jamsta and Lolisa while we're here," he stuttered, eager to be away from any further bloodshed.
Upon entering the building, Chandler sighed once more. There were bodies strewn about inside as well, mostly hobos and feral chu larvae that had somehow gotten into the station. Trying his best to avoid stepping in any blood, he navigated his way towards the recording studio. It was slow going, but Chandler didn't mind. He already knew what he was going to find. No doubt Shaw had attacked the station, Jamsta and Lolisa had fought off his cronies with ease, and everything was fine. They certainly hadn't been kidnapped or killed by that stupid Jerkop troll.
"Goo-gee! YAY!" squealed a voice from behind the door. The Mayor smiled. Everything was fine. If there were still Sonees or Roseys alive in the room, then it was further proof that Kevin Shaw had once again been foiled. Sighing, he opened the door, freeing a small pack of bloodstained ferals who quickly scampered out with frightened squeals. The poor things must have sought shelter with Jamsta and Lolisa when Shaw had attacked the station. That was a good sign as well; it meant that Shaw couldn't have possibly managed to harm the musical couple.
"Dat, uh, dat was good thinking of you, uh, Jamsta an' Lolisa," Chandler stated as he made his way into the recording studio. "Do y'all have any idea how ta-"
Lolisa was dead.
Chandler stared at the Rosechu's mutilated, half-eaten corpse and blinked, hard.
Lolisa remained dead.
"Wha…OH, GODDAMNIT!" Chandler screamed. It couldn't be some random caught-in-the-wild Rosechu; he'd spent far too much time studying Lolisa's nude pictures from the infamous photoshoot to know whose body he was looking at. It looked as though something had been…eating her for a while, and a prominent bullet hole marred the yellow chu's forehead. How? How had they killed her with a simple gunshot? What had been eating her?
The Mayor heaved a massive sigh and forced himself to look away. Now he would have to go to all the trouble of cloning another Rosechu tonight, and Jamsta would no doubt start complaining about losing his heartsweet! And worst of all, he would have to draw this into theSonichu comic somehow! That god-danged Shaw had wasted even more of his time through trolling his-
"Suneeh!" squeaked a small Sonee as it waddled into Chandler's field of vision. Its voice was muffled by the long, limp, heavily burnt object that it was currently munching on. Well, that was a good sign. Shaw wouldn't have stopped until he'd killed or kidnapped all of the Sonees and Roseys in the area, which meant that since this one was alive, Jamsta was definitely still alive.
"Er, uh, widdle bay-bee?" Chandler inquired of the preoccupied feral. "Could y'all do, um, do y'all know where Jamsta Sonichu is at?"
The Sonee looked up at the big, fat smelly thing, and sniffed in confusion. For some reason, he could feel a tingling in his tiny brain, as if he somehow sensed that this human was supposed to have its needs catered to above the needs of all other forms of life. Taking another sniff, the baby chu was immediately reminded of his home in the sewers, except somehow even more fetid. Obviously, this was a feral sewer human of some kind! But why was the smelly thing talking to him? Did it want to know where he'd gotten the yummy happy stick candy? He hadn't found any aside from the one he was currently eating, but the human was still welcome to try finding more.
"Guh-guh! Suneeh!" the Sonee replied, and pointed its armstub across the room. Following the rough direction of his tiny guide, Chandler realized that he hadn't noticed Jamsta's noodle-like limbs resting upon the arm of the bloodied radio host chair. How had he missed that before?
"Dere, uh, dere is no need ta be all worried, Jamsta," he announced, walking over to the chair. Jamsta must have just been stressed from what had happened to Lolisa, and that was the reason why he was sitting down on the job. "I will MAKE PERSONALLY ENSURE dat Shaw is ESSACUTED for his const-…for his constant trolling harassments and diswrongful murders."
There was no response from the DJ.
"Um, uh, Jamsta?" The Mayor turned the chair around. "It's, uh, I can fix dis, I can use tha-"
Jamsta Sonichu's throat had been slit wide open, with only a few inches of skin left connecting his body to his oversized head. Both of his oddly-colored ears had been sheared off at the base, and judging from his state of undress, he and his co-host had been engaged in hanky-panky when Shaw had gotten to them. Due to his angle, Chandler couldn't avoid looking at Jamsta's exposed crotch…or rather, what was left of it. Something had torn apart the DJ's pickle so thoroughly that even his internal gonads were gone, and what was left was now a mess of blood and ash.
At that moment, Christian Weston Chandler began to feel a fear worse than any he'd felt in his life. Out of everything that made him stressed, the thought of dying prematurely frightened him more than anything…more, even, than losing Sonichu. Though he knew that he was destined to have a family with Lovely Weather so long as the timeline remained synced with the future he'd visited, he was pretty sure that his death could trigger an irreversible change to that future. In fact, that was probably Shaw's reason for wanting him dead! He was probably some ex-homo who wanted his sinful deviant life back! Well, he was NOT going to let a god-dang HOMO ruin the future and wipe out all of his hard work to save mankind!
But if Chandler failed, Shaw wouldn't kill him quickly or mercifully. He would tear the Mayor apart like the Voltorb had done to Simonla, or mutilate his genitals like what had happened to Jamsta! Worse, Shaw would probably execute him personally, with a trap directly plagiarized from the Saw films, and then he'd put it into HIS lame knock-off comic and trumpet it as a heroic triumph, even though the Sonichu comics were meant for children and those of all teenages!
Most disturbing of all, the Mayor still had no idea how powerful Shaw was. In a single night, he'd incapacitated three of his greatest heroes, kidnapped another four, and now had actually killed two of them! At least Crystal would no doubt report in soon to tell him that Shaw had an easily exploitable weakness that would allow him to be defeated in about a minute. Chandler still wasn't keen on the idea of facing someone that was aiming to kill him, not when he still had alternatives available. Still, what was taking Crystal so long?
The answer came in the form of a sharp, abrupt pain in his skull.
"Huh…help…Christopher…" Crystal's voice echoed through his mind. Immediately, the Mayor felt a prickling rush of absolute terror surge down his spine. Psychic links, Magi-Chan had once explained, could convey certain powerful emotions. If what he was sensing was Crystal's fear…
"That's better," a new speaker sounded from the link. This voice…if Crystal was feeling terror, then this voice belonged to someone feeling an emotion Chandler couldn't describe, even with his extensive experience with anger and frustration. It felt physically painful, like all the organs in his body were being pulled to a single point, and the emotion was so strong it threatened to overwhelm his ability to think clearly. What sort of monster could possibly feel that way?
"Hello there, Chris. It's been too long, asshole. Too long," Kevin Shaw growled. "I know you're listening, you fat fuck…"
"SHAW! DAT IS ENOUGH!" Chandler screamed, using his own psychic power to reply. "STOP TRYIN' TA…STOP KILLIN' THA…YOU DO NOT HAVE MY PERMISSION TO-"
"...and I just wanted to let you know a few things, Mayor. We rescued Naitsirhc."
"YOU DID NOT, YOU LYING TR-"
"We slaughtered your Rosechus and stole Crystal's medallion."
"Those are MY COPYRIGHTING PR-"
"As for me…" Shaw's voice dropped to a terrifying hiss. "Well, you just forced me to murder my little cousin. I gunned her down, Chris. I watched her die in my arms."
"Oh, BOO HOO, MISTER CRY-BABY! Y'all have NO IDEA what I have been through after-"
"And you? Well, you just signed your own death sentence."
"WAIT WAIT WAIT!" Chandler yelled over Crystal's panicked screams. "What do you WANT?"
"You want to defeat me, don't you, Chris?"
"WHY ARE Y'ALL GIVIN' ME SO MUCH STRESS?" whined the Mayor. "I NEVER-"
"You want to know what you did to me?"
Shaw interrupted again. "This is what you brought upon yourself. This is what you forced us all to feel like for ten fucking years."
"LOOK, WHATEVER Y'ALL HAVE BEEN TOLD ABOUT ME IS A DANG DIRTY LIE!"
"THIS!"
"NO, YOU SHUUUUEEEAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"
Pain. Chandler was in pain, and he couldn't get away from it. His tolerance for pain was notoriously awful-he couldn't even eat the hot sauce at Taco Bell without a glass of milk nearby. But this pain...this pain was well beyond the boldy spiciness of the condiment packets. It felt like his eyes were being skewered by knives drenched in acid. It felt like his teeth were being yanked out, and white-hot nails hammered in to replace them. It felt like his legs were being split down the middle and stuffed full of broken glass and scorpions. And all the while, the horrible flood of emotion remained, growing stronger and stronger as the pain increased.
"EEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUURRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH! BLLUUUUURRRRGGGGHHHHHH!" blubbered the Mayor as he ejected the last liquefied contents of his stomach and bowels almost instantaneously. The pain kept on going, one fresh horror after another, until after an eternity of hellish agony, it finally began to abate to the level where he could focus again.
Ha! Shaw had made a foolish mistake! Even now, Chandler could feel his clone trying to open a connection to him! Once it was up, he could teleport to her location and finish off the troll before he could cause him any more stress tonight! Smiling through the pain and tears, he prepared for the teleportation. He had been stressing out over nothing, and Shaw was just another two-cent…
"This, Mayor," snarled Kevin, "is the way your world ends."
The pain struck just as Chandler was about to teleport, disrupting his link. He abruptly found himself lying on the ground about three feet away, right next to a very confused-looking Sonee.
Not surprisingly, the feral was horrified. The smelly sewer human had gone crazy! He knew it wasn't safe to be around humans for long! For some reason, the mere sight of a Sonee or Rosey was enough to throw even their children into fits of murderous rage, despite their spunk and cuteness! He needed to run away too, before the sewer human got around to killing him horribly!
The Sonee waddled a few steps toward the door, then paused as a thought crossed his mind. If he could somehow defeat the big human, then he'd have his pick of any Rosey he wanted once he got back to the sewers! That was a much better idea than running for his life! He was a strong, brave Sonee, and he would NOT back down from this stupid troll!
"WAAAAAAHHHHH!" he screamed, and began to beat the convulsing Mayor in the face with the only thing he had on armstub…that is to say, the severed, burnt, and partially eaten remnants of Jamsta Sonichu's pickle.
Whap! Whap! Slap! Smack!
"GGGRRRAAAAAHHHHH!" shrieked Chandler, both through his voice and his mind. Through the blinding pain, he realized that something large and dick-shaped was smacking his face, which only served to make his torment that much more horrifying. Almost reflexively, he summoned up what little mental strength he had left and called out to Magi-Chan. The psychic Sonichu just had to get involved now! Nothing was more important than making sure that he never felt stress!
"MAAAAGI-CHAAAAAN!" he bawled silently. "MAKE IT STOP, DANG IT! MAKE IT STOP!"
"Your thought has been heard fully, and your ideas inputted for better improvement. Thank you for your time and efforts."
"NNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"Chandler screamed in frustration as the pain abated once more. Why was Magi-Chan being so useless tonight, of all nights? He needed him, dang it! Why were all of his friends being completely useless to him? Anna still hadn't done anything about the video, Sonichu and Rosechu hadn't protected their children like they were supposed to, and now Magi-Chan wasn't telling him what he needed to do to fix everything! Why was God still mocking him? Wasn't it enough that he couldn't get laid without resorting to time travel?
"Eeeeuuhhh! Heeeeeh! Haaaaah!" he gasped. The pain was definitely over. He could barely feel the terror coming from Crystal anymore. That could only mean that his Player Two, his eternal caretaker until such time that he obtained a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up of his own, was fine, and that he could certainly afford to wait a few more minutes before teleporting over to her.
It was at that moment that Punchy Sonichu plowed through a nearby wall, carrying a roll of toilet paper and a new pair of pants. The feral Sonee let out a shrill scream, but was quickly silenced when a loose section of the wall crushed both it and Jamsta's severed pickle into a bloody paste.
"Sorry I'm late, Christian! I heard you using the bathroom an-HUUUUURRRRGGGGHHHHH!" Punchy vomited, having noticed Jamsta's unclothed corpse. "WHAT THE HEAVY METAL R-"
"Dat, urgh, dat is appreciated much, ah, but dere is a most pressing matter at hand, Punchy!" Chandler gasped. "Shaw has kidnapped Crystal as well; I need time ta think of a plan ta deal with him, as Magi-Chan is STILL NOT ANSWERIN'! In tha meantime, I got a little sur-AAAHHH!"
The pain had returned, and with it, the Mayor's screaming did, too. He tried to shut it out as much as he could, but only managed to focus the majority of his agony squarely onto a single part of his body at a time…his limbs, his eyes, his stomach, and at last, his genitals.
"EEEIEIEIEIEIIEIEIEIEEIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEHHH!" hescreeched, his eyes crossing hilariously as his voice rose higher than it had ever risen before, to the point where it was bordering on the limits of the human voice box. In despair, he sent out a psychic distress call to someone, anyone, begging them to come and make the unimaginable stress go away. Unfortunately, the one and only recipient of this message was a sleeping Barbara Chandler, whose dreams took a turn for the bizarre when the piles of valuable bargains she'd accumulated over the years merged into a giant fighting robot that flew away to do battle with a giant flaming coffee machine.
"Umm…I am sorry, could you repeat that, Christian?" Punchy asked, scratching his head in confusion as he wiped his mouth and shuddered again. "Are you…are you all right?"
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHH!" continued the agonized Mayor.
"Sur...maaaahh...smash? You want me to smash things? Okay!" A spontaneous grin appeared on the Sonichu's face as he turned and charged away down the street, flipping cars and crushing mailboxes and garbage cans while loudly singing the theme song to Samurai Pizza Cats.
Eventually, the agony faded to the level where Chandler was finally able to clear his mind. The link to Crystal was still there, but there was NO WAY he was going near Shaw until he knew how to counter that horrible, horrible psychic attack! Still, he wasn't going to let the Troll King outsmart him again! This was where he was going to make his stand, and he'd make damn sure that Shaw would experience his first failure of the evening, with MILLIONS more to come!
Summoning all of his remaining psychic energy, Chandler reached out to his clone and her subordinates. Shaw wouldn't be kidnapping or killing anyone else tonight! Not on his watch!
"Heart Torch Glow Twin Sister Summon!" he yelled out loud, and felt a familiar surge of smug pride as he saw the five psychic ripples opening around him. Or at least, he would have felt that, had his mind not once again been overtaken by a massive psychic headache. With a sound that was like something between a sigh and a scream, Chandler crumpled to the floor in a limp heap of flab, sweat, and excrement. The physical strain of having to do so much work in such a short period of time, the sheer frustration at having to do any work at all, and Kevin Francis Shaw's determination to shatter his heart and copyrights had finally taken their toll.
By the time the bloody, mutilated remains of Crystal Weston Chandler and the four Rosechu corpses that had once been the Chaotic Scouts rained down upon him from thin air a full three minutes later, the Mayor of CWCville had already crashed into slumber.
Viridian Forest, outside Kel's cabin, 12:30 a.m.
"That'll give him something to think about when he wakes up." Leaning over the bloodied pile of bones that had once been Chandler's cloned sister, Kevin bared his teeth and spat a tiny metal object onto the skeleton's ribcage, then turned around and dropped Vejovis into Clyde Cash's hands. "You can have this back, Commander. I'm finished."
"That was good thinking with the link, Shaw." The Miscreant's mouth curled into a smile as he glanced to Jack Thaddeus and nodded. "Where's Chandler? Are you sure he's unconscious?"
"I didn't get a good look at where he's at right now, but he definitely will be," Kevin answered, his voice flat and emotionless. His eyes drifted towards the cabin. "Excuse me, Commander, but I left something inside. Don't touch the bodies – he's going to try and teleport them all back."
"Does that apply to this stuff?" Clyde asked, tapping the medigun's filled storage chamber.
The Jerkop shrugged. "Hell if I know. If it's reconfigured like you said, I don't think so."
"Fine by me." Raising Vejovis, the PVCC commander blasted Kevin in the chest, healing the cuts and burns that he'd sustained during his battle with Crystal. Pivoting around, he turned the medigun on Naitsirhc and Adrean, giving the Team Rocket heir's many grievous wounds ample time to pull themselves back together. The terror of Kel's insanity may have been over, but for Naitsirhc, the nightmarish memories of his captivity simply could not be erased as quickly and simply as his injuries had been. Still, he was alive, he was free, and his father was-
"Where is he? WHERE IS HE?" Giovanni appeared from the crowd of Team Rocket operatives that had gathered on the scene, shouldering his way through his minions in a frantic rush to reach his long-lost son. "NAIT! NAIT! ARCEUS, TELL ME HE'S ALL RIGHT!"
"He should be fine, Mr. da Silva," replied Jack as Clyde shut Vejovis down. Winded and weak, Naitsirhc stumbled away from Adrean and into his father's arms, only to nearly be crushed by Giovanni's embrace. "A little out of it in the mental department, yes, but at least he's not-"
"HOLD THE GODDAMN PHONE!" Al yelled, taking an infuriated step toward the Miscreants. "Commander, with all due respect, you owe us a fucking explanation."
"What's there to explain?" Kevin answered. Kneeling beside the skeleton, he reached between Crystal's ribs and retrieved the crumpled bullet that he had just coughed up. "She's dead. Kel's dead. Those Chaotic Scout bitches are all dead. And…Christ, this thing was in my lung?"
"He's right," Steve spoke up, placing a hand on the Manajerk's shoulder. "Al, seriously, the bitch was a fucking clone. Chandler's clone. You can't say she didn't have it coming."
"She was human." Kuri's eyes were fixed squarely onto Kevin, and the look of disbelief on her face was second only to the one on Allie's. "He just…Kevin just…"
"ENOUGH!" Giovanni roared. The Team Rocket boss was clutching Naitsirhc, tears of hatred and sorrow streaming down his face as he hugged his gaunt, emaciated child against his chest. "My son…what did that goddamn whore do to my son, Shaw? WHAT DID SHE DO TO HIM?"
"Only what Chandler and Magi-Chan brainwashed her to do, sir," growled Kevin, putting as much spite as possible into the last word. "I just killed my little cousin to save your son's life, Giovanni. Think about that the next time you even think of speaking to me." Turning his back on the gym leader, he walked away, spinning the bullet in his fingers. "Better yet, don't."
"Wait! Kevin, stop!" Allie called out, dropping Trogdor and rushing after her boyfriend while the Miscreants hurriedly began explaining the situation to Giovanni. The Honey Badgers seemed to be arguing amongst themselves as well, particularly Steve and Kuri. Further back, behind the commotion, a small group of Rocket grunts was taking turns stomping on the crushed and broken Fuzzie Rosechu, beating the carcass into jelly with their rifle butts. Before they could damage her corpse any further, five purple flashes of psychic energy exploded across the battlefield and the cabin, delivering the remains of Crystal and the four Chaotic Scouts right back to Chandler.
Slowly, without breaking stride, Kevin turned his head towards his squadmate. Allie's skin had drained of color, and he had never seen her this alarmed before. He nearly lost his composure at the horrified expression on her face, but before his emotions could set in, the image of Kel's body flashed through his mind once more.
"What?" he snapped.
Allie's mouth hung open. "What do you mean, what? Kevin, what the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Let me put this very, very simply," answered Kevin, and stepped through the smoking hole that had once been the cabin's front wall. "All this time, my little cousin was being mind-raped into a good little slave by Magi-Chan Sonichu…on Chandler's orders. She just shot me in the fucking chest, and I killed her with my own goddamn rifle." Wrenching the AK-47 off his shoulder, he heaved it across the room, where it struck the little Naitsirhc doll that Kel had made and smashed it to pieces. "She's been here since August, doing God knows what to the same person who got me into this mess. At least you got to keep your fucking job after that little bastard attacked the-"
"Wait, what?" The Jerkop followed him inside, still holding the Rosechu medallion that she had claimed from Crystal. "You think Naitsirhc's the one to blame? After Chandler fired you?"
"Well, he landed me in the hospital, nearly killed me in this exact same forest that we're standing in right now, and ruined my only chance of having a normal life before Chandler ever showed up." Striding across the room, Kevin knelt beside his cousin's body and heaved Kel up off the floor. "I'd say he's just about as guilty as the Mayor, if you take it all into account."
Allie shook her head. "Kevin, that's not the point. You've been acting like this since…"
"When?" Kevin's eyes met his girlfriend's, revealing a glint of rage. "Since I saw my best friend get zapped by Sonichu? Since I watched my other best friend get eaten on my first assignment? Since I just murdered my own cousin? Since the last person I care for beyond anything else in the world almost died at the Plaza, and I wasn't able to stop it? When, Allie? Since when?"
"Up until what you just did…" Allie choked back a sob. "I thought it was only about revenge for Matt and Jake. But when you took that thing and started ripping Crystal apart…" She swallowed. "This isn't for them. This is a vendetta, Kevin. You almost murdered Chandler, and you want more. And…when I saw what you did to Crystal…I didn't see you killing her."
"If you think…if you seriously think I can't tell the difference between a goddamn clone and you…" Shaking his head in disgust, Kevin strode across the room, picked up his assault rifle, and headed for the doorway. "Fuck, you're as paranoid as Chandler. You want my advice, Allie? You'd be better off knowing who your real enemies are."
"So would you, Kevin," Allie spoke up bitterly as her squadmate departed. "So would you."
Kevin didn't respond, but merely continued walking. It was clear that he was far past the point of listening to her…perhaps even past the point of no return. To Allie, the young man who had once been her loving boyfriend, her steadfast and courageous comrade…had been seemingly replaced by this cold, distant Kevin, as if some vengeful spirit had taken over his body and his mind.
Alone in the cabin, the Jerkop sighed and looked down at the Rosechu medallion in her hand. Tearing off one of her gloves with her teeth, she ran a finger along its surface, noting the cheap pink Crayola Model Magic that had been used in its construction. She knew the Miscreants would surely confiscate the medallion, but she still wanted to examine it before they did.
"Ow!" she exclaimed as a spark of static electricity leapt between her finger and the medallion. The shock had probably just been due to the dry air, or something like that. It didn't matter. Already, the PVCC and Team Rocket squads outside were gathering their dead and tossing red flares as La Llorona and the three other transport helicopters descended over the battleground. Al and Steve were probably wondering where she was, and she didn't want to keep them waiting.
Resolutely, Allie pulled her glove back on and stuffed the medallion into her pocket. Even if her boyfriend could no longer be reasoned with, she hoped to Arceus that at least some of the Kevin she had once known was still alive inside the bitter, merciless creature that had risen in his place.
For now, she could only wait.
East CWCville, Lower East District, Wilderness, east garage, 12:39 a.m.
"It's been a while, Doctor," laughed Patrick Ryan as he and Ivo Robotnik grasped each other's hand and shook it firmly. "How's everything going with your outside operations? You're not still trying to beat Sonic, huh?" He grinned at Nate, Nick, and Dexter. "I mean, last time, you kinda-"
"Don't even speak to me about ARK, Rrrrrrrrryan!" snapped the mad scientist. "Years of hiding from the world's rrrrrrretaliation, and every time I see that blasted blue hedgehog, I have to live with the fact that I, the most brrrrrrilliant scientist in the world…" He furrowed his brow, adjusting his glasses in frustration. "I blew up nearly half of the moon! I crrrrrreated Metal Sonic and the Metal Sonichu prrrrrrototype! And all that I can think of is the fact that I ended up help-"
"HelPINGAS usual?" suggested the radioman with an all-too-innocent smile.
Robotnik glared at him. "Yes. But only because…"
"Hey, cheer up, Doc." Ryan shrugged. "You helped save the world. Not too many people can say they did something like that, you know."
"That's beside the point!" Tapping the screen of his tiny wrist-mounted computer, Robotnik made his way over to where the Battle Bus stood parked after being towed out of Wilderness's western garage. "First you brrrrrrrrreak through my impenetrable security network, then you tell me you're calling in your favor, and now you want me to take time out of my own itinerrrrrrrrary to make this hunk of junk drrrrivable?" He kicked one of the bus's flattened tires, then leapt back in pain as his foot met solid metal with a loud clunk. "OUCH! GRRRRRREAT MOTHER OF-"
"You sure this is gonna work?" Nate murmured under the sound of Robotnik's profanities. "We don't want her to break down halfway across the city or anything."
"Trust me," Ryan whispered, then turned his attention back to the cursing scientist. "Listen, Doc, we're kind of on a tight schedule as it is. Just do what you can with what you've got. Fix her up, pimp her out, you know the drill. You can't tell me that the great Dr. Ivo Robotnik is seriously gonna chicken out on something as simple and easy as fixing a bus."
The doctor ceased hopping up and down and froze in place, still clutching his foot. His bushy mustache twitched of its own accord as he slowly looked up at the DJ and his companions. Nate wisely took a step back. He still remembered some of his former boss's earth-shattering fits of rage when he had worked at Robotnik Technologies. If there was one thing that the mad scientist hated more than Sonic the Hedgehog, it was having his genius questioned or threatened.
"You don't believe I can rrrrrrrepair this bucket of bolts?" barked Robotnik, furiously typing commands into his wrist computer. From their resting places in the rows of storage racks high overhead, a swarm of Badniks activated simultaneously and jetted down to the garage floor to join their master. "You're lucky I'm a man of my word, Rrrrrryan! Stand back!"
Ryan, Dexter, and the two Honey Badgers obeyed, their eyes fixed on the spectacle before them. Working in unison under Robotnik's direction, the Badniks extended a variety of tools from their mechanical bodies and set to work gathering together spare parts from around the garage, even cannibalizing a few destroyed Transformers. Buzzsaws whined and arc welders crackled as the drones began reconstructing the Battle Bus piece by piece, even replacing its damaged engine with the fusion cores of two Crackders and sharpening the forward prow into a vicious blade.
"Dios mio," Nick murmured in awe. "You sure she isn't going to explode when we start her up?"
"Hey, I used to work for the Doctor," answered Nate. "I think she's in good hands."
By this point, the vehicle was nearly unrecognizable as a school bus. Bits of blue, green, and brown plating from the scavenged Transformers covered its faded yellow armor, and if anything, it now looked more like a very long and very fearsome Humvee. Its wheels and tires had been replaced with heavy spiked versions, a radar dish jutted from its roof, and three autocannons stood where the SAW machine guns had previously been - mounted to the sides and rear of the Battle Bus. Most intriguing of all, though, was the fact that the Badniks had torn off the grenade launcher on top and replaced it with an entire plasma cannon they'd salvaged from a Crackder.
Over the span of ten minutes, the Battle Bus had been completely transformed into nothing less than a monstrosity of reinforced steel and advanced mechanisms beyond anything that the onlookers had ever seen before. The driver's seat now resembled the cockpit of an Abrams tank, with dozens of buttons spread across the control panels beside the steering wheel. Metal tubes and cooling vents decorated the vehicle's armored exterior, and the entire thing looked as if it could easily shrug off a direct hit from an airstrike. It was a wonder the tires hadn't popped under so much weight, or that the entire thing was even holding itself together.
"There!" announced Robotnik, folding his arms and stepping back from his creation in pride. "Let that show you what happens when you question the skills of Dr. Ivo Rrrrrrrrrobotnik!"
"Never doubted you for a minute, Doc," Ryan chuckled, still awestruck by how quickly the Battle Bus had been repaired and upgraded. "I gotta say, I'm pretty damn impressed." He turned to Nick and Nate, both of whom were staring at the armored beast before them. "Thoughts?"
"Looks like something Chandler would draw," Nick muttered bluntly. "I mean, come on!"
"Why, you ignorrrrrrant ingrrrrrrrrate!" Robotnik snapped. "I rrrrrrrrepair your blasted bus, I put my heart and soul and genius into this crrrrreation, and this is the thanks I get? Why, I ought to-"
"No, no, that's not what he meant," corrected Nate, hastily rushing to his squadmate's aid. "It's just…I think we liked it better when it wasn't so…uneven."
"The color. It's the color," added Nick. "I know it's silly to complain about at this point, but-"
"Bah! You simpletons are never satisfied!" shouted the mad scientist, quickly gesturing to his swarm of Badniks. "Very well! Get a load ofthis!"
The drones dispersed, and then returned carrying several buckets of paint and paintbrushes in their mechanical arms. They set to their task immediately, adding a fresh coat of yellow to the entire vehicle and topping it with a fearsome black and white drawing of a snarling honey badger along both sides. By the time they were finished, the refurbished Battle Bus looked as good as new, carrying the same nostalgic charm as before…as well as a significant increase in firepower.
"Yeah, I was right." Nate's smile held as much unbridled glee as a child opening presents on Christmas morning. "Al's not just going to shit his pants…he's gonna have a heart attack."
"One little problem, guys," Dexter cut in, scratching his frizzy hair concernedly. "They basically said that I can't leave the facility, and from what you told me, the same goes for you two. How are we gonna get out of here if Commander Gee put us all under house arrest?"
"Every Transformer unit is linked to the security mainframe," Nick explained without hesitation. Having spent the majority of his recovery time at the HQ since August, he had learned quite a bit about the layout of Wilderness. "They'll fire on anything that doesn't register as PVCC-friendly or civilian. I guess that's why they shot up the Bus when you brought it in, Patrick."
"Thanks for reminding me," the Voice of the Resistance muttered. "Seriously, that's not funny."
"They'll probably try and take out our tires if we just try and leave now," continued the Jerkop. "Except…I'm pretty sure that there's a way around it. Nate?"
"All Robotnik Technologies devices respond first and foremost to Dr. Robotnik," Nate recited from memory. "Holy shit, you're right. Shut off the turrets, and we can get the Bus out of here!"
"Now wait just a minute!" snapped Robotnik. "I put my rrrrrrreputation on the line just to answer your little 'favor', Rrrrrrryan! The Miscrrrrreants won't apprrrrrrove of me sabotaging their operrrrrations just to let you escape! Why, by all rrrrrrights, I should turn you in to them!"
"Listen, Doc, the city's falling apart and they need to get back to their squad," sighed Ryan as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a smartphone. "What if I said that I owe you a favor after this? Hell, I'll tell Vivian that it was all my idea. What's she gonna do? Fire me?" He smirked. "Not after she gave me that promotion. You know, I always thought she had a thing for me…"
"Not likely," Nick muttered under his breath, masking it beneath a cough.
"What was that?" Ryan glanced over at him, too preoccupied with dialing to listen.
"Sorry, dry throat." Coughing again, the Jerkop motioned for the DJ to continue. "Go on."
"So yeah. I take the fall for you guys, Robotnik shuts off the turrets, I owe him one, and we all meet up afterwards for whiskey and weed." Ryan stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Hell, if we survive this, I'm gonna bring you and the other Badgers down to Kansas City sometime. I swear, the barbecue they've got is gonna blow your fucking minds…even more than the booze."
"Oh, very well!" huffed Robotnik. "Wait for the perrrrrrimeter alarm to sound, then you should have apprrrroximately two minutes to get clear of the vicinity!" He snorted. "Good rrrrriddance!"
"And that reminds me…you three aren't going out there alone." Ryan held the phone up to his ear. "Yeah, Sean? It's me. We just got you a way out. East garage, look for a big-ass pimped out school bus tank. Oh, and bring those hobos we were talking to…George, Carl, and Missy." He waited, listening to the Fighting Irish leader's response. "Uh huh. No, Zero needs to heal. Right, see you in a few." Stowing the phone, he beamed at the Jerkops. "And…you're welcome."
"You sure they're gonna be okay with all this?" asked Nick. The extra fire support from the Fighting Irish and Kevin's three hobo friends was a welcome addition, but if the Jerkops and Booth were indeed going to defy direct orders from their supreme commander, they didn't want their act of disobedience to escalate into a full-blown insurrection. "I mean, we are technically committing treason if we go through with this. We'd be…rebelling from the resistance."
"Seriously, you're actually concerned with that at this point?" asked Dexter. "If I learned one thing from our little adventure back then, it's that you guys don't give a shit about rules. That and, well, there's also everything I learned about Aki, but you get what I'm saying, right?"
"Compared to sitting around and waiting for something to happen?" Nate nodded solemnly. "If it gets us back to Kevin and the others, I'm in."
"Sounds good to me." Ryan held out a hand to the Jerkop. "Let's break some rules, gentlemen."
Four miles southwest of CWCville's border, 12:46 a.m.
"We're soldiers. We've done worse shit than this." Shaking his head in disbelief, Steve gently picked up Sugar from the floor and placed the honey badger in his lap. "I don't fucking believe this. After what you did to Schwartz, you should be the last person to say Kevin went too far."
"Stop changing the subject!" snapped Kuri. "You know that smug asshole had information we needed, and besides, Steve, weren't you the one who volunteered me? Yeah, he was human, he was helpless, and I made him bleed and scream, but I sure as hell didn't murder him!"
"You would have, though," Jexis spoke up. She had remained quiet through most of the dispute, while Serge had only grunted and shrugged whenever either side asked him anything. "Don't try convincing us you're above this stuff, Kuri. We all know you would've done that if Ker…"
"Hey. No." Al interrupted the medic before she could say anything more. "This isn't about Kuri. This isn't about Schwartz. This is about our squadmate…our friend." He turned to where Kevin was sitting alone at the far end of the helicopter, silently staring out the window at the three Team Rocket transport choppers flying alongside La Llorona. The bodies of the two dead Chupacabras and Kel Felix lay in a row beside him, each one covered from head to toe with a black tarp and secured with duct tape. "Look, I don't know what they were originally planning to do with Crystal, but if what I know about Cash is correct, it sure as hell wasn't a plan that involved torturing and executing an unarmed prisoner like that."
"Well, what were we supposed to do with her?" retorted Steve. "You saw her! She would've killed us all if Allie hadn't taken her medallion away! Hell, she still had her psychic abilities! She could've called Chandler! We'd never have survived if he teleported in with the Combo!"
"We could've knocked her out," Allie argued. "We could've questioned her, or used her to lure Chandler away from us. But it doesn't fucking matter now that Kevin had to go and murder her."
"Yeah, it actually kind of does," said Al. "With Crystal dead, Chandler's going to go berserk. He was able to delude himself about the Sonichu brats and Rosechu, but after he sees what we did to his 'sister', that fat bastard's finally gonna realize that we're not fucking around. This could either be really good, or really, really bad, and I'm betting it ends up being the latter."
The Chinook's interior door swung open, interrupting the discussion before Steve could respond. Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddeus stepped into the bay, accompanied by a flock of Devil Trolls.
"Good news and bad news, guys," Jack announced, holding out the Rosechu medallion for the Honey Badgers and Chupacabras to look at. "After what happened at the cabin, I think it's safe to say that taking out Crystal Chandler is going to make Commander Gee's response a lot more favorable. We're splitting off from the other squads for this next part, so don't expect any more Team Rocket ground support. There's one attack helicopter, but that's it. Sorry, but Giovanni's got a 'family first' policy, and it looks like Naitsirhc's in for a long, long recovery."
A halfhearted muttering spread through the seated Jerkops. Neither of the two squads had had particularly good relations with any of the Rocket operatives, but then again, the additional fire support had been a welcome relief during the assault on Kel's cabin. Now their so-called elite task force had been cut down to less than twenty Jerkops. Even with the Team Rocket chopper, Vejovis, the Devil Trolls, and the Miscreants, the odds still weren't exactly in their favor.
"I know we're at a disadvantage now," continued the commander, "but Clyde and I managed to put together a plan. We're hitting CWCville Penitentiary with a combined aerial assault. Ledger, Martinez, your squads will rope in through the roof after our air support takes it out, eliminating any hostile forces on your way to the ground level. Once you're in the atrium, hold off any guards until we can drop in. As a group, we'll head down to the Abyss, free Commander Walsh, and return to the surface for extraction." He gazed around the room. "Any questions?"
"At what point," asked Joshua, "are my operatives going to be able to get some fucking sleep?"
"Just hold in there, Martinez," Clyde assured the Manajerk. "After Walsh gets out, we only have to find CWCSPACE One. Once that retinal scan gets us into the facility, we'll take care of all the technical stuff. Looks like Schwartz is gonna get to help launch a rocket before he dies, after all."
"And why, pray tell, are we launching a rocket in the first place?" Steve inquired exasperatedly.
"Need-to-know information," answered Jack. "You'll see. It's gonna be amazing, though."
"Wonderful. Fucking wonderful." Al buried his face in his hands. "Cut the bullshit already, Commander. If we're gonna play this kind of game, you need to start talking. First off, a little clarification on why you decided to let my operative murder Crystal Chandler would be nice."
"That's out of line, Ledger." Clyde's smile faded in a matter of seconds. He gazed across the transport bay, directly at Kevin. "Yes, the original plan was for us to tranquilize Crystal and dope her up to the point where interrogation was possible. But as we told you before, Shaw's become a valuable asset to us in terms of baiting Chandler. It was a split second decision, yes, and we ran a dangerous risk. But in the end, letting him execute the clone just might have bought us enough time to carry out the rest of the Loose Ends Campaign."
"So…what happens when Chandler wakes up and sees what we did to his 'sister'?"
"By that point, we hope to have Walsh out of jail and CWCSPACE One on its way to orbit," said Jack. "Leave the explanations to us once all this is over – as Jerkops, you won't be at fault for going against Commander Gee's orders. Hell, if we can't talk her down, Jason sure as hell will."
"Commander, what about the medallion?" inquired Allie. The Miscreants had confiscated it back at the cabin, but for some reason, she seemed to have developed an obsession with the little clay Rosechu trinket. "Couldn't we use it against Chandler? How do those things even work?"
"We don't even understand," Clyde said quietly. "All we know is that it's Crayola fucking Model Magic infused with some kind of Cherokian artifact or ancient shapeshifting technology, and that we're not going to mess around with it until we can get in touch with Wes Iseli for clarification."
"We'll be crossing back into CWCville momentarily," concluded Jack, gesturing to a few boxes of ammunition next to the door that had been provided by Slumberland. Beside them lay the case that held Vejovis, as well as the one labeled TESLA-CHU. "Ledger, Martinez, take whatever supplies you need for your operatives. Wait for our signal, and we'll see you on the ground."
At the rear of the Chinook, Kevin busied himself with tuning out the chatter from the Miscreants. It was just white noise to him – as useless and fleeting as smoke. Instead, his ears were filled with the sound of Crystal's shrieks, the gunshots that had claimed Kel's life, his little cousin's last, dying words…and the psychic wailing of Christian Weston Chandler. Despite knowing that the Mayor was currently enduring an immense psychological breakdown, Kevin still couldn't bring himself to let go of the hatred. A few brief minutes of mental torture were hardly enough to make up for ten long years of suffering and pain.
Massaging his forehead, the Jerkop looked over at where his girlfriend was sitting, between Jexis and Serge. Allie hadn't spoken to him since they'd departed the cabin, and frankly, he preferred it that way. His mind was a storm of uncertainty, and new problems kept popping up to replace the ones he was currently trying to forget about. Where was his brother? What had happened to George and Missy June? Where was Frank, and was the Arbok even still alive? How long would Chandler's slumber crash last for? What were the other members of the Chaotic Combo up to?
But most importantly…what had become of Sonichu?
East CWCville, Lower East District, Wilderness, command and control room, 12:49 a.m.
"About time you two showed up," snapped Vivian Gee as Patrick Ryan and Dr. Robotnik filed in to join her, Jason Kendrick Howell, Bryan Bash, and the nearly three dozen operators and technicians that now linked Wilderness to the rest of the PVCC. "Looks like we've finally got this show on the road. Liquid and Kacey just left with four squads between them, Marcus is leading a group to reestablish a hold on the Plaza, we've moved Schwartz to an isolation cell down on the sublevel, and the whole uprising's right at the end of its deployment phase." She motioned for the men to take their seats. "Ivo, I need you monitoring our Transformer support, especially in Factory – we don't want to lose that. Ryan, see if you can reach Slumberland, and let me know the second you get Giovanni on the line. Got that?"
"Yes, ma'am!" Ryan hurried across the room and dropped into his swivel chair, next to an imposing array of radio equipment, monitors, and phones. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Robotnik take a seat in the egg-shaped command pod that served as the central hub for all of the S.A.V. units, Punislavs, and Crackders operating under control of the resistance. Their duties to the uprising would have to wait another minute or so…just long enough for the Battle Bus and its occupants to break out of Wilderness.
"Anything from Booth?" the Miscreant asked, making her way to Ryan's station and pulling up a chair. "I saw you talking with him and the two men from Ledger's squad. What did he say?"
The radioman forced out a casual laugh, secretly cursing himself for forgetting about the CCTV surveillance. "Just wanted to see how I'd been since Occupation Day. I kinda accidentally ended up as his roommate back then, you know. Small world, huh?"
"Hmm." Vivian nodded, clearly uninterested. "He didn't mention Magi-Chan's daughter?"
"Say what?"
"The psychic Electric Hedgehog Pokémon larva? Aki?"
Ryan shrugged. "Yeah, he mentioned her, but nothing more. What the hell do you want with this particular Rosey, anyway? And why's Dexter so important to you guys?"
"Because right now, that particular Rosey is keeping Magi-Chan from fucking up this entire uprising." The Miscreant smiled. "And according to what we learned from interviewing Booth, Aki's actually not a Rosey after all. If he's right about her, we could be looking at a potential PR atom bomb for not just Chandler, but the entire Electric Hedgehog Pokémon species. And when the time comes to announce our discovery to the world, I hope you'll be up for the task, Patrick."
"Hey, I didn't become the Voice of the Resistance for nothing, Viv," laughed the radioman. "Listen, I really love our little talks, but you wanted me to get Giovanni on the horn, right? I…"
"EMERGENCY ALERT. EMERGENCY ALERT. DEFENSE SYSTEMS COMPROMISED."
"What the fuck?" Gee leapt to her feet, nearly falling out of her chair in surprise. "Jason, Bryan, what the hell's going on?"
"We got some kind of internal breach on the security network!" yelled Jason Kendrick Howell. "Ivo, see if you can isolate it! For fuck's sake, don't let it shut down our communications!"
"Rrrrrrridiculous!" Robotnik blustered, putting on an impressive act as he set about punching the rows of buttons that lined the sides of his command pod. "No hacking prrrrrrogram on Earth can overrrrrrrride my security measures! It's prrrrrrrobably just some trrrrroublemaker snooPINGAS usual or something! I'll just take a look and see what kind of prrrrrrrroblem we're dealing with!"
Beep! Instantly, all of the monitors bluescreened, leaving only the phrase COMPUTER OVER, VIRUS = VERY YES. The phones and radios still worked, but until the problem was fixed, the command and control center was effectively blind. Ryan began to wonder if this was just another part of Robotnik's scheme, or if he had actually crashed the entire PVCC system by accident.
"Oh. Uh, wrrrrrrrrong button!" announced the mad scientist, hastily working to fix his mistake. "There appears to be…WHAT? HOW? My Trrrrrransformer units are being overrrrrrrridden! This wasn't supposed to happen! How in the name of Wernher von Brrrrrraun did this happen?"
"PERIMETER BREACHED," announced the PA system. Over the wail of Wilderness's alarms, Ryan could hear the distant crashes and explosions of disabled Crackder drones plummeting into the city. Prickling waves of fear began to spread across the radioman's skin as he realized what was happening. Nothing was wrong with the plan…this was something completely different.
"Our air support's going down all over the place!" yelled an operator. "What's going on? What-"
"You bastards should've just ended me while you still had the chance," a pained voice crackled through the HQ's speaker system. "Did you really think…I'd just sit around here…and wait for you to finish me off? By the way…brilliant move…building the security mainframe down here."
"Son of a bitch." Grabbing a microphone off the nearby table, Gee hastily switched it to emergency mode to override the hijacked channel. "RED ALERT! SECURITY TO THE SUBLEVELS! SECURITY TO THE SUBLEVELS! BEGIN LOCKDOWN PROTOCOL!"
"Oh, don't worry your pretty little head, Vivian," Bill Schwartz snarled, this time broadcasting into the Miscreant's personal radio. "I've got security all nice and taken care of down here. Now let's see…oh, what's this? Deactivate perimeter defenses for Slumberland and ChinaTown?" A loud buzz sounded from the other end of the channel. "Oops. Aaaaaannnnd it's gone. Now let's just give the police a call, shall we? Nine…one…one…"
"GODDAMNIT!" screamed Vivian. "How did he get out? Who do we have left in the building?"
"Just our security detail, some Badniks, and the BattleAXEs," answered Howell. Rushing to a metal locker, he wrenched the door open and grabbed a pair of shotguns from inside, then tossed one to the PVCC commander. "Vivian, stay here. I'm going down to kill this motherfucker."
"Elevators are down!" another operator shouted. "We just lost control of the security doors on Sublevel Three and the east garage! Holy shit, we've got an outbound vehicle!"
"Fuck. Fuck! FUCK!" Gee sounded close to despair by now. "Tell me he didn't…"
"He didn't." Ryan pointed at his monitor, which now showed the Battle Bus barreling out of the open garage doors and into the streets of CWCville. "Schwartz didn't hijack the bus. Shaw, Martinez, and Booth did. They're heading to Slumberland to find the other Honey Badgers."
"Thank Christ," Howell breathed. "Get them on the radio and tell them to get back here before-"
As if on cue, the power went out, plunging the Miscreants, Ryan, and the PVCC operators into pitch darkness before they knew it. The constant hum of electricity faded, leaving only the shrill, annoying whine of the HQ's alarm system.
"I want Schwartz," Vivian Gee spoke slowly, her words dripping with uninhibited rage as the emergency lighting illuminated the command and control room in a pale white glow. "I don't care how, but I want that fucker's head on a plate. We're not getting down there to kill him with Wilderness dead in the water, but I think I know who can."
West CWCville, Upper West District, CWCville Penitentiary, 12:53 a.m.
Shielding his eyes with his free hand, Kevin braced himself against the side of La Llorona as a plume of orange flames billowed skyward. Beyond the sanctuary of the Chinook's transport bay, a salvo of missiles rained down upon the roof of CWCville Penitentiary, ripping off chunks of concrete and rebar with every thunderous impact. The bombardment stood no chance of damaging the building's stability, but any True Blue mercenary or Electric Hedgehog Pokémon who still happened to be in the atrium was about to receive the surprise of a lifetime.
"SkyRocket to Cash, all missiles away." The Team Rocket pilot's voice was barely audible over the explosions from below. "Clear to proceed, over."
"Copy that. Ledger, Martinez, get your operatives on the ropes!"
"Steve, you're going in with the first team!" insisted Al, grabbing SUZI up off the floor and unceremoniously tossing her out the open bay door. Giggling, the LIESA unit fired her repulsor jets and zipped down to join the flock of Devil Trolls that Clyde Cash had previously unleashed. "Kevin, Serge, stay with him! I'll bring the girls down once you're clear of the lines, got it?"
"Will do!" the Manajerk agreed. "Last call for ammo! Everyone set?"
Kevin nodded, focusing on the pillar of black smoke rising up from below. The Jerkop had only fast-roped a few times before, and his apprehension hadn't improved since the previous insertion to Anne Boleyn Memorial Plaza. Burning, acidic sensations filled his stomach, and had only been increasing since Crystal's death. Whether they were from lack of sleep, exhaustion, or stress, the cause didn't matter. He couldn't afford to suffer a lapse at such a critical time.
A red light flashed on overhead. The three Honey Badgers grabbed hold of the single rope tied to an anchor point on the floor, tossed the end out over the edge of the open ramp, then fastened their harnesses on securely. To their right, half of Los Chupacabras were doing the same, led by Joshua Martinez. Kevin couldn't bring himself to look back at Allie, but he had a pretty good idea of what to expect. The last thing he needed was another distraction.
"Remember, keep the rope between your knees," Al instructed, hurrying from Jerkop to Jerkop to check that each of the fast-ropers was wearing gloves to protect their hands. "Don't descend too quickly. Once you touch down, unclip yourselves and get out of the way for the next person."
"Is good advice," grunted Serge apprehensively. "Why do you make Serge go down rope first?"
"Let's just say we kind of want to avoid getting crushed, if possible," said Steve. "No offense."
"Green light! First wave, go, go!"
Swearing in Russian, the beefy Jerkop dropped off the ramp and plunged earthward, moments before Steve followed him down the line. Without time to wonder if it would hold all of their weight, Kevin spun around, grabbed hold of the rope, and stepped backwards into thin air. The cold wind slammed into him from all sides, biting at his face and the exposed skin around his wrists and ankles. Distracted by the initial fall, he only remembered to tighten his grip on the rope just a few feet away from colliding with Steve.
Instantly, the plummeting sensation ended, and Kevin's fall slowed to a more manageable speed. Looking around, he saw the Team Rocket helicopter hovering next to the Devil Troll swarm, its spotlight sweeping across the massive facility as the LIESA saboteur units began searching for suitable access points. Shrill warning sirens rang out in the night, and the air carried a distinct smell of ozone, like that of a grassy field just after a lightning storm. Kevin still remembered the last time he had seen the inside of CWCville Penitentiary, and the hectic series of events following the June Offensive. Now the Honey Badgers were returning to the Abyss, to the place where Amanda Taylor had drawn her final breath. And if Bubbles still happened to be there, the attack on the prison complex would be a perfect opportunity to avenge his squadmate's sacrifice.
The Jerkop's eyes began to water and sting as he slid into the billowing smoke. Blinking, he shielded his face with the back of his arm and continued the descent, only pausing to stop, look down, and readjust his hold. There was still nothing going on below, just a straight shot through the collapsed ceiling.
Wait a minute. Squinting through the cloud, Kevin nearly lost his grip on the rope as the scene below came into view. The atrium looked like it was in the midst of being torn apart by some vicious hurricane, with entire walls blown open and scorch marks plastering almost every visible surface. Streams of water poured and dripped from nearly every surface, forming great puddles and small lakes on the concrete floor of the atrium. Littering the room were dozens of bodies – both EHPF and True Blue, sprawled out between piles of rubble as the red glow of signal flares and flashes of lightning illuminated the battle in progress.
From what Kevin could see in the brief glimpse of the shootout, the mercenaries were pushing their way through to the armory, only to be met with heavy resistance by a trio of EHPF squads with three Shockers acting as heavy armored support. Further toward the front of the atrium, the True Blue had blown open the main doorway with explosive charges, allowing the few Humvees and APCs in the parking lot to roll in and lay down fire on the Sonichus. At first, it seemed as if the former loyalists had the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon outgunned…until one of the transport vehicles was unexpectedly picked up and hurled across the room by a pressurized blast of water.
"FUCK!" Steve yelled, clutching the rope to slow his descent. Bubbles Rosechu and Blake Sonichu dashed into combat below, holding hands as they charged the struggling True Blue. "WE DROPPED INTO A GODDAMN KILLZONE! ABORT! WE NEED TO ABORT, NOW!"
"TOO LATE! GET OFF THE ROPES!" roared Martinez. "EVERYONE OFF THE ROPES!"
Serge landed with a heavy thud and disconnected himself from the line, drawing his sidearm and rolling out of the way as a Thundershock sizzled through the air beside him. The Jerkop was up in a flash, blazing away with his Makarov at any flash of yellow fur that entered his field of vision. Steve was the next to touch down, and not a moment too soon. A few EHPF officers had finally noticed the new intruders descending on the atrium, but most of them were mercifully preoccupied with assaulting the mercenary squads. Kevin jerked back to avoid his squadmates, then plunged the rest of the way down and unclipped himself. Free of the rope, he leaped up, pressed the AK-47's stock against his shoulder and-
"SO…NI…CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"
A lightning bolt flashed right in front of Kevin's eyes, searing a bright patch of color into his vision. Temporarily blinded, he dropped to the floor just in time to avoid another electric blast, while Steve and Serge both opened fire on the attacking chus. Martinez's operatives were similarly engaged, firing outwards in a circle to push back the EHPF. Fortunately for the Jerkops, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon still didn't seem to have much of a sense for tactics beyond a constant stream of suicidal "heroic" charges and devastating shock barrages.
The same could not be said for Bubbles and Blake. As well-equipped and experienced as the True Blue were, they stood next to no chance against the combined force of water and electricity that the Combo member and her mate were currently raining upon them. Most of the mercenaries had abandoned their shootout with the EHPF altogether, and were now desperately focusing their fire on the two overpowered chus. Despite the furious salvo, the Rosechu appeared unstoppable, sweeping entire groups of True Blue aside with Surf waves and Hydro Pumps while blocking their incoming fire with a rippling shield of water. Blake was acting as her fire support, launching himself in Homing Attacks at any stragglers and occasionally summoning blasts of electricity to amplify his giggling sweetheart's water-based attacks.
Kevin glanced down at his belt. He had brought three 40mm grenades, as well as the one already in the AK's underslung launcher. If they ended up fighting Bubbles, at least the Honey Badgers could easily take advantage of her weakness to explosive weapons. It was only because of Amanda that they'd survived their previous encounter with the Rosechu, and Kevin intended to put every possible effort into seeing that his fallen squadmate was properly avenged.
At the moment, though, his primary concern was merely surviving the shootout.
"Al! AL!" Steve yelled into his radio. "Goddamnit, Al, tell me you're on the way down!"
"Roping in now," the Legend panted. "Keep 'em away from the lines!"
Four figures slid through the clouds of smoke overhead, materializing in the forms of Al, Jexis, Kuri, Allie, and Clyde, the latter of which was armed with Vejovis. The other half of Los Chupacabras emerged sliding down the second line, followed closely by Jack Thaddeus. Distant laz0r blasts resounded through the prison complex to the south, signaling the arrival of the Devil Troll swarm. Cash had dispatched the LIESA units to locate and hack the building's security systems, in particular, the elevator leading to the Abyss.
"Heads up, guys!" Kuri hit the ground, disconnected her safety harness, and dashed over to assist Steve with a group of Sonichus. "What's going on? What the hell are the mercs doing here?"
"No fucking clue!" shouted Steve, and flung an incendiary grenade out into the open. The blast of white phosphorous engulfed two EHPF officers, setting their fur alight and transforming both of the chus into shrieking, blazing fireballs. "Just be glad they're keeping those two occupied!"
"Good. I hope they all suffer," Jexis hissed, glaring at the distant battle as Bubbles and Blake continued their assault on the True Blue. Kevin had never seen her so detached and bitter before. Whatever the young medic had gone through at the Plaza, it seemed like the ambush had dealt her psyche a crippling blow. "Anyone hurt? Steve? Serge? Kevin?"
"We're good!" Steve fired off the remaining rounds in his assault rifle, then hurried to the rope and helped detach Al and Clyde Cash. "Commander, we're taking the elevator down, right?"
"Yeah, I've got the swarm hacking their way in!" answered the Miscreant. Unlatching a leather holster on his belt, he drew his S&W 500 and gestured toward the pair of heavy steel doors at the far end of the room. "Jack, we're gonna need to push through those Sparkies once the supply box comes down! Ledger, Martinez, get your operatives ready to move!"
Kevin scanned the atrium, counting up the few Sonichus standing between them and their goal. The Jerkops would have to move quickly to avoid attracting Bubbles and Blake's attention, but once the Devil Trolls bypassed the prison's security system, the descent into the Abyss would be a cakewalk. What awaited them beneath the surface, though…that was another matter entirely.
WHAM! A single large wooden crate hit the floor, suspended by a third and final rope harness dropped from La Llorona. Two of the Chupacabras hastily untied the supply box and removed the lid, revealing half a dozen M79 grenade launchers, Baba Yaga, Vejovis, a generous helping of 40mm grenades, and an incredibly irate Sugarplum Fury. The two Jerkop squads formed a protective circle around the supply drop, keeping the EHPF at bay with a thick screen of bullets while their officers unloaded the weapons and ammo.
"About time," Al muttered as Steve lifted the snarling honey badger out of the crate and placed her on the floor. "Allie, take one of those launchers and leave Trogdor. I know you love it, but it's not gonna do jack shit against something like Bubbles. Get one for me, too."
"All right, fine." Allie disappointedly shrugged off the massive flamethrower and placed it beside the box, then grabbed an M79 for a replacement and tossed a second one over to the Legend. Around her, Serge was gleefully loading Baba Yaga with an ammunition belt from the crate, while Lori Lopez passed out the other four grenade launchers to her Jerkops. Last and not least was Vejovis, which Clyde Cash enthusiastically retrieved. The medigun's tank was now filled to the brim with glutinous red liquid, most of which had been painfully extracted from the body of Crystal Chandler. It was reassuring to have the device on hand, to say the least.
"Everyone set?" Jack Thaddeus glanced around at the Jerkops, then looked at Clyde. "How much longer are they gonna take before we-"
"I'M IN UR PRISON, HAXXING UR DOORS!" a Devil Troll's voice squealed over the intercom as a burst of shrill feedback screeched through the atrium. "I can has homo music?"
"Excellent." Clyde grinned evilly, typing a command into his control pad. "Here…we…go!"
"GET 'EM!" roared Al, and vaulted out from behind his cover. Raising his M1911 towards the nearest EHPF officer, he dropped the surprised chu with a pair of shots and proceeded to empty the rest of his magazine into another as the room filled with music. It was a common practice for the PVCC to rely on certain songs as a form of audial warfare against the chus, but not even "Macho Man" came close to what Clyde Cash had just unleashed on every living Electric Hedgehog Pokémon in CWCville Penitentiary.
In terms of psychological destruction, "It's Raining Men" was the equivalent of a tactical nuke.
"Go! Go!" Steve shouted, firing off a long burst to suppress the attacking chus as Kuri, Serge, Jexis, and Allie sprinted out into the open. Kevin reloaded and charged, working his way up the atrium as the Chupacabras behind him focused their fire on the Sonichus in their way. Distracted and severely stressed by the booming music, several of the EHPF rolled themselves up to launch Spin Dashes at the Jerkops. In doing so, however, they had presented their foes with perfect targets. It was only a matter of gunning them down before they could reach full momentum, and to the seasoned operatives, the task was little more than child's play.
Switching to semi-auto fire as a Sonichu dashed headlong towards his squadmates, Kevin swung the Kalashnikov upright and fired twice, but his aim had been slightly off. Both rounds zipped through the air three feet behind the chu, and if Allie hadn't fired a 40mm grenade at the ground directly in front of its spinning feet, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon might very well have made it far enough to get within close combat range of the Jerkops. Unfazed by the explosive and unbelievably messy death of their comrade, two more EHPF officers charged with heroic cries, only to be met by a deadly hail of bullets from Jexis and Kuri.
ZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPP! A blast of electricity lanced across the room, forcing Kevin to seek cover behind a destroyed support column. Before he could trace the shot back to its source, the vicious roar of Baba Yaga cut through the din. Serge lumbered toward the offending Shocker, laughing like a madman and hammering his target with nearly two hundred heavy rounds per second. Between the strobe-like flashes of electricity arcing in front of him, Kevin could see the Sonichu's plated body progressively crumpling and buckling further and further, until not much more than bloody paste remained inside its dented steel shell. As the dead Shocker hit the floor with a hefty clang, the remaining Sonichus fell back in panic, preferring to take the easier and less stressful option and join Bubbles and Blake's assault on the True Blue.
Keeping a watchful eye on the retreating Sonichus, Kevin stepped out from behind the pillar and hastened across the last stretch of ground to join his squad by the elevator. Besides a few minor scratches and bruises, the rest of the Honey Badgers and Los Chupacabras were in fairly decent shape. If anything, the Wilderness squad seemed to have improved their combat efficiency since the deaths of their two squadmates during the battle at Kel's cabin. Despite the losses, Martinez's Jerkops were still fully focused on the mission at hand. The time for grieving would come later.
"Anyone hurt?" Clyde Cash slid to a halt beside them, still gripping Vejovis. "Ledger?"
"We're fine," reported Al. "Got the drop on them, anyway. Good kill on that Shocker, Serge."
"Is not problem," muttered the beefy Russian. "Serge could use sandvich now, though."
"We'll make you one when we get back to Slumberland," Steve replied, keeping a watchful eye on the battle taking place across the room. "Commander, how long do you think we'll have?"
"With all the noise they're making, I'd give us ten minutes at most." Clyde punched a button on his command pad, and was instantly rewarded by a loud DING! as the two steel doors slid open. "Fucking hell, right on time! Everyone inside!"
Kevin followed his squadmates into the elevator, suppressing his urge to recoil at the memory of the Honey Badgers' last two expeditions into subterranean facilities. Come to think of it, the entire squad seemed to be jinxed when it came to going underground, especially when their operations involved elevators. Jake had been eaten in the sewers under the abandoned zone, Amanda had died in the fight with Bubbles, Zoey had blown herself up on a one-way trip into a manhole, and Matt had almost made it out of Hogwash's elevator shaft before Sonichu had zapped him. What did that mean for the surviving members of the Honey Badgers, now that they were descending into the Abyss once again?
"Of course. Of course it's us who always get picked for this shit," Kuri muttered to Jexis as the elevator began its journey down into the prison's sublevels. "Fuckin' elevators. Why do we-"
"Don't…say…anything," hissed the Jerkop. It was clear that Kevin wasn't the only one thinking about Matt's death at the moment.
Floor after floor ticked by on the digital display, each one accompanied by a soft beep that only served to heighten Kevin's growing tension. He knew it was pointless to worry about what the other Honey Badgers thought of his actions at Kel's cabin, but he couldn't keep his mind off of what Allie had said. It was the first time in the course of their relationship that he had seen her so…disappointed in him. At least Kuri had been upfront with expressing her disapproval of Crystal's execution. Allie, though…he couldn't even begin to figure out why she was acting so afraid of him now. It had to be something more than just her uncanny resemblance to Chandler's clone. Something else was going on, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know what that was.
"Once the doors open, there's gonna be a hallway," Steve explained to Al, Clyde, Jack, and Joshua while Sugarplum Fury curled herself across his shoulders like a furry striped scarf. "No security or anything – just a straight shot to the Abyss. It's a big open space, full of these…well, these glass tubes full of water and…people." He gritted his teeth. "Trust me, it's better if we don't fall into any of the pools around the center. They're full of Sonees and Roseys. Sonees and Roseys that fucking swim. Don't worry, shooting 'em works fine, but for the love of Arceus, don't hit the goddamn tank walls or everyone here is gonna have a really bad time."
"We already know about the mutated Swampert, Morrison," replied Jack Thaddeus. "Relax. We've got enough firepower to fend her off if anything bad happens-"
"We're talking Godzilla-scale here," interrupted Steve. "Any chance you brought King Ghidorah or Mechagodzilla or Destoroyah along, Commander? No? Then we don't have enough."
"Funny you should mention that…" Clyde Cash reached into his coat, rifling around for some hidden object. "Damn it, where'd I…oh, come on! Don't tell me I left him in the chopper!"
DING!
"Sublevel 13. Please continue to processing room."
"Fuck it," finished the Miscreant, and abandoned his search. "Ledger, your squad's on point."
Al hurried to the front of the elevator, flanked by Steve and Kevin. As the doors slid open, the trio of Jerkops stepped out cautiously, sweeping the dark hallway with the flashlights on their weapons. Kuri, Jexis, Allie, and Serge were the next ones to disembark, then Martinez's squad, then finally the two Miscreants.
"Sugar, follow." Steve knelt and placed the honey badger on the floor, then proceeded down the corridor while the rest of the group followed his lead. Ahead, an eerie blue-green glow gently shone within the walls of Momma's immense tank, casting chaotic patterns onto the dark stone that surrounded the Abyss. Unlike the last time Kevin and his squadmates had visited Bubbles' lair, the leviathan was clearly visible through the glass wall, floating on her back and letting off low, rumbling breaths as she slept.
"Take it easy, Steve," Kuri murmured as she patted the blond Manajerk's arm reassuringly. "Hey. It's gonna be okay. There were only six of us last time, remember? We've got this."
"Right…no problem…" Al gazed around the room in awe. "Christ, just look at this shit…"
Illuminated by their flashlights and the rhythmic pulses from the lights on the wall, the band of Jerkops emerged into the glowing cavern. Kevin spotted the ring of hydrostasis tanks almost immediately, but nearly all of the special immersion cells were unoccupied and drained of their contents. Only one of the glass cylinder remained active, filled to the brim with cloudy greenish water and a single dark shape.
"That's her," Steve whispered, pointing across the room. "That's got to be her."
"Out in the open? No security or anything?" Jack Thaddeus stared suspiciously at the tank. "Doesn't it seem a little…strange that we got down here so easily? A little too easily?"
"These are chus we're talking about, man," Clyde reminded his friend. "They're not exactly the best at planning for the unexpected."
"Here's how we're doing this." Jack stepped to the front of the group. "Ledger, Martinez, secure that pool and get rid of any larvae. Clyde, how soon can you get your Devil Trolls down here?"
"I had them on their way down the second we stepped into the elevator," replied the Miscreant. "Give 'em a minute or so. There's no way we're getting any kind of radio signal down here, so I sent a few over to hack the communication network. I should be able to relay the signals back to the surface once they get through security. We'll also need to drain that tank, get Mary out, contact Vivian and Jason so they know what we just did, and…"
"Come on," the Legend muttered, heading for the pool that held Bubbles and Blake's stunted offspring. "Let's get to work. Steve, any ideas on how we could lure them up to the surface?"
"Yeah. Feel like going for a swim?"
"No." Al let out a dry laugh. "Nice try, dickhead."
Stepping to the edge of the water, Keving swapped out his AK-47 for the Beretta he'd picked up at Wilderness. The Miscreants' conversation behind him gradually faded away, until it had been replaced by soft splashes from the glowing blue-green water. Looking down through the rippling surface, he could already see hundreds of chubby, fuzzy blue and black blobs wriggling their way through the submerged network of tunnels that stretched around the Abyss. The numbers didn't seem possible…genetically altered or not, how on earth could one Rosechu have spawned so many offspring in just eight months? It would have been a foolish waste of ammo to empty his magazine into the water, and there was no way in hell that he was getting in there to kill them up close and personal…especially not after the last time.
"Aldo, Luxo, go!" Kuri tossed her Poké Ball and her Ultra Ball onto the floor, releasing the Murkrow and Lunatone while Jexis, Allie, Kevin and Steve lined up around the edge of the pool. The Chupacabras followed their lead, spreading out at equal distance until the large circle of water was completely surrounded by Jerkops.
"Drop frags on three," ordered Steve, and unclipped the last grenade from his belt. "Ready?"
"Ready!" Al, Kevin, Joshua, and Lori answered simultaneously. Around the pool, the operatives had each removed a single fragmentation grenade, and were now holding them out over the glassy water. Aldo, Luxo, and Sugarplum Fury kept their distance, hungrily waiting for the slaughter soon to come. Beneath the water, the miniature baby chus paddled and frolicked around in glee, completely unaware of the unholy doom about to rain down upon them.
"One! Two! THREE!" Ripping the pin out of his grenade, Steve hurled it down and stepped back as fast as he could to avoid the inevitable blast. A chorus of splashes sounded around the circle as each of the Jerkops did the same, depositing upwards of two dozen explosives into the pool. Surprised by the descending grenades, the school of aquatic Sonees and Roseys immediately split into groups and began prodding and batting them around with their armstubs. Unfortunately for them, playtime lasted a grand total of three seconds before it reached a rather explosive end.
BOOOOOOOOM! SPLASH!
Muffled detonations sounded off in a cluster beneath the water's surface, instantly displacing nearly half of its volume into the air. The baby Electric Hedgehog Pokémon who hadn't already been shredded to pieces were forcefully catapulted out of their pool by the immense blasts. Much like the tried and true process of dynamite fishing, almost every Sonee and Rosey in the vicinity was now either dead or too stunned to swim away. Helpless, the survivors floated limply at the surface, or else had been tossed up onto the edge of the rapidly-reddening water.
"Nicely done." Al drew his pistol and beckoned to the other Jerkops. "Finish off the rest of these little bastards and let's get back to Cash and Thaddeus. We're getting the fuck out of this place before Mommy shows up and-"
"SWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM…"
Kevin spun to face the tank, just in time to see Momma stirring from her slumber. The massive Swampert's yellow eyes snapped open as she began searching the Abyss for the source of the sudden noise. It wouldn't take her very long to realize that there were intruders in her midst.
Beneath the floor, a soft rushing noise drifted upwards from across the massive room, rapidly making its way toward the central pool. Serge, Al, Jexis, and Los Chupacabras looked around in confusion, but Kevin, Allie, Steve, and Kuri knew exactly what was coming.
"Well, that definitely got their attention," Steve snarled somewhat needlessly, backing away from the water's edge and grabbing his XM8 off the floor. "GET BACK! EVERYONE BACK!"
"GOO-GEEEEEEEEEE!"
With a shrill chorus of squeals, the hungry remnants of Bubbles and Blake's litter spewed forth from the bloody pool, wriggling across the slippery wet stones like a swarm of plump furry piranhas while the startled Jerkops backed away from the edge. Kevin's stomach nearly dropped out of him as more and more of the baby chus emerged…more than he'd ever thought a single Rosechu – birther-class or not - was capable of producing in ten lifetimes. Somehow, Bubbles's freakish reproductive system had managed to repopulate the Abyss with a small legion of Sonees and Roseys…more than enough to potentially strip a Wailord to the bone.
And every single one of them was heading straight for the group of Jerkops.
"Clyde? Jack?" Al called over his shoulder, his air of confidence rapidly giving way to one of absolute panic. "WE'VE GOT A MAJOR FUCKING PROBLEM HERE, GUYS!"
East CWCville, Lower East District, Wilderness, Sublevel Three, security mainframe, 12:55 a.m.
The entire room shuddered as a muffled blast rang out, but apart from a sizable dent, the thick security doors remained intact. Paying no heed to the unsuccessful breach attempt, Bill Schwartz grimaced and continued tying a piece of torn fabric around his empty eye socket. The crude bandage was only a temporary measure, but once he was safely among the chus and loyalists, he could attend to the wound in a more thorough manner. It wouldn't be long before the Chaotic Combo showed up to liberate him, and cut out the very heart of this insurgency once and for all.
In truth, Schwartz could hardly believe how easy it had been to work his way free of both the handcuffs and the detention cell, using only a simple paperclip as his "skeleton key". In his weak state and with severely limited vision, he wouldn't have stood a chance against any guards. Once again, though, the sheer incompetence of the simpletons in the PVCC had proven to be a blessing in disguise. With such lax security and most of Wilderness's Jerkop squads already deployed into CWCville, it had only been a matter of sneaking his way through the detention block to the security mainframe, locating a suitable terminal, and proceeding to wreak untold destruction upon the HQ from within. By the time Gee and Howell had realized their mistake, it was too late.
Sealed in his impenetrable fortress of steel, glass, and silicon, the injured scientist now held free reign over almost every technical aspect of the resistance. Already, he had successfully taken out a third of their Crackder support and locked down every S.A.V. and Punislav within his control. ChinaTown and Slumberland were about to face an all-out assault from the EHPF due to him disabling their defense grids, and the Miscreants were suffering the biggest panic attack of their lives. Just thinking about the chaos he had caused was nearly enough to drown out his own pain.
Kuri Tatsuno…that slut…that psychopathic bitch would pay for what she'd done to him. All he had ever done to her – the experiments, the analysis, the…domestication…all of it had been for the sole benefit of science, and how had she repaid him? Mutilation, humiliation, and torture! Well, she would certainly suffer, along with the rest of them…Gee, Howell, Robotnik, Giovanni, all of the utter simpletons who had been too naïve to see the genius in his work, too selfish and greedy to give him the credit he so richly deserved for such brilliant, innovative-
A pulse of violet light blinked into existence, directly in the center of the room. Bill rose from his chair, a smug smile spreading across his bloody face as he turned to receive the newcomer. His plan had been successful after all, and now either Chandler or Magi-Chan Sonichu was arriving to rescue him. There was no denying it now - Wilderness would surely fall, and he was going to witness it firsthand. At last, the bitter revenge he'd planned for so long would come to fruition.
Almost on cue, a second sphere expanded beside the first. Two more psychic signatures appeared around the first pair, followed by another two, and another two. The momentary grin of triumph died on Bill's face as eight Electric Hedgehog Pokémon – six Sonichus and two Rosechus - teleported in the room, materializing in a circle around the traitorous scientist.
"Hello, Doctor," chuckled the foremost Sonichu. "Expecting someone? The Mayor, perhaps?"
Even if Bill had possessed the reflexes of a cat, he would never have dodged the whirling vines that fastened around each of his limbs and hoisted him off the ground, or the spiked fist that slammed into his gut, shattered three of his ribs, and sent the breath rushing out of his lungs in a wheezing gasp. When he finally stopped writhing long enough to open his eyes, the results didn't exactly do much for his confidence. Standing before him was a near-perfect replica of Wild Sonichu, only clad in a rather unusual choice of clothing for Electric Hedgehog Pokémon – a tailored suit and tie. Four thick green tendrils protruded from its shoulders and back, all of which were currently wrapped tight around Bill's arms and legs like an octopus's tentacles.
"Do the honors, would you, Bobby?" asked Michael Sonichu as Whispy Sonichu, Kitty Rosechu, Mitch Sonichu, Trisha Rosechu, Swift Sonichu, and Simonchu circled around to face the struggling traitor. "Can't have our old friend running away on us, now can we?"
SNAP! CRACK! SNAP! CRUNCH!
"No, we can't," agreed Bobby Sonichu, loosening his vines and dumping the shrieking scientist onto the concrete floor. Schwartz's limbs now resembled half-cooked noodles, the bones having been effectively reduced to splinters beneath the crushing force of the green Sonichu's powerful grip. Taking a moment to adjust his tie and brush a few flakes of ash from his suit, Bobby disinterestedly stepped away from his victim and rejoined the group of Asperchus.
"Well done." The mechanical gauntlet strapped to Simonchu's wrist activated, transforming into a whirling steel drill as he advanced on Bill with a look of savage, vengeful glee. "Mitch, would you kindly remind the good doctor what Commander Gee's orders were?"
"Subdue the target," answered the Sonichu wearing a plaid jacket. "By any means necessary."
"Any means necessary," Kitty Rosechu echoed. "Absolute freedom, Doctor. Freedom to show you how much we appreciate what you've done for Chandler…and what you did to your allies."
"WHAT I DID?!" screamed Schwartz, violently shaking in agony and impotent rage. "I GAVE THEM A CHANCE TO DESTROY SONICHU! I CREATED BLACK SONICHU, AND THEY STOLE MY GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT TO MAKE…YOU! YOU WOULDN'T EVEN EXIST WITHOUT ALL THE WORK I'VE DONE FOR THOSE UNGRATEFUL THIEVES!"
"Funny how that works, Doctor," replied Simonchu. "Thing is…Alec, Sean, Mao, and Evan were better at doing your job than you ever were. But you couldn't have that, could you? You just had to have everyone praise your creativity, when all you did was engineer an utter failurethat led to the PVCC's greatest success." He nodded to the Asperchus. "Swift, bring them in."
The psychic Sonichu obediently vanished in a burst of purple light, then reappeared a few seconds later with Vivian Gee, Jason Kendrick Howell, and Dr. Ivo Robotnik in tow. The three Miscreants' looks of surprise at their sudden teleportation quickly gave way to relieved smiles as they realized what had happened to Schwartz. It didn't seem possible for the wounded scientist to look any more pathetic and helpless than he currently did, but the sight of his former superiors materializing on the scene was enough to shatter what little fighting spirit remained within him.
"Well done," chuckled Howell, nodding in satisfaction as Robotnik hurried into the control terminal and began working his way through the many damages that had been inflicted on Wilderness's security mainframe. "Ivo, get our communications grid back online. We need to warn Slumberland and ChinaTown about this little incident before it's too late."
"As for you…" Gee prodded Bill's limp, shuddering body with her foot. "Your time just ran out, you backstabbing piece of shit. "After the stunt you just pulled, I'm just about ready to let the Asperchus dispatch you themselves. A fitting end, really."
"Why must things go so damn wrong?" The scientist's face contorted in pain. He could hardly keep his voice steady enough to speak. "After all of this betrayal and mistreatment, I just wanted things to go right for me. Leary and his lackeys piggybacked off my greatest achievement and got all the praise and adoration possible! All I wanted was a bit of recognition for the projects I spent so many years working on…and now I'm in this position. How the hell was I not supposed to feel rage with every fiber of my being?"
"Oh, shut up!" snapped Vivian. "Don't try starting a goddamn pity party on us, you self-righteous little bastard. You think you're the victim here, Schwartz? You could've just walked away! You could've been happy with what you were given! But no, you wanted more, and you decided that your precious credit was worth going turncoat on the entire PVCC! If you hadn't been so goddamn egotistical and self-centered about it all, we wouldn't even be here right now."
"Chandler would have given me the acknowledgement I deserved," spat Bill. "Idiot though he is, at least he was smart enough to recognizesuperior genius when he saw it. You just wait, you fucking cowards. You arrogant fools. You just wait. You're all gonna burn when Chandler-"
"When Chandler does what?" Howell murmured in a terrifyingly passive tone. "Saves you? He couldn't even save Sonichu's family. He doesn't care about you, Doctor…only about the people who still have some use to him. And right now, your usefulness to us has ended. But I think we can still find a way for you to help someone out." He smiled down at Schwartz, then nodded to Simonchu and the Asperchus. "He's all yours. Do it quickly – we need you back in the field."
"With pleasure," replied Michael. "Swift?"
Extending a hand, the purple Sonichu closed his eyes and summoned a sphere of energy from his palm. Bill let out a shuddering groan as a prickling sensation spread across his skin, pulling him out of Wilderness's security mainframe, out of the material world and into the psychic void.
The frozen ground rose to meet him half a second later. Rolling onto his stomach in immense agony, the helpless scientist raised his head from the snow, only to be greeted by the sight of a single monolithic gravestone towering over his prone, broken body. The dark granite slab was lit by a single flame burning at the base, and as Bill's remaining eye adjusted to the flickering light, he could see a series of four names carved into its surface.
ALEC BENSON LEARY (1964-2008)
SEAN AUGUST WATLEY (1975-2008)
MAO LING (1979-2008)
EVAN CHRISTOPHER GEORGE (1983-2008)
SCIENTIA VINCERE TENEBRAS
The ominous scraping of metal on concrete cut through the silence, sending fresh chills rushing into Bill's heart. Behind him, Mitch and Whispy were dragging a rusted iron manhole cover off of the ground, exposing the yawning black pit below. Panic set in immediately, a raw, primal terror that was only amplified by the ever-present feeling of helplessness attacking him from all directions. Now he understood where the Asperchus had brought him, and why. It was obvious that he was still inside CWCville, but only one place in the entire city was this dark, this quiet, this desolate. There was only one place where someone could dispose of a body so efficiently.
"And so we reach the end, Doctor," muttered Simonchu as he knelt beside the sobbing scientist. "I can tell you this much – my brothers and sisters and I are very interested in conducting a little, well, experiment on you. We're going to take you apart and see how long you can stay awake before your body gives out. Think of it as…a vivisection. For the benefit of science, obviously."
"NO!" Schwartz let out a terrified sob, blubbering helplessly as Bobby's vines heaved him into the air once again. "NO! PLEASE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Or," Simonchu continued, "you can give us one easy little piece of information, and we'll send you back to those abominations you love so much. Your choice, Doctor." Powering up the drill attached to his hand, he raised the tip to an inch away from Bill's crotch. "Gotta think fast!"
"WAIT! WHAT DO YOU WANT? WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
"You brought Sandy Rosechu into this world," growled the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. "You were there when Wild's little pride and joy hatched. You helped Chandler force her evolution, and he thought that no one in CWCville would ever know how special she really is." He spat in Schwartz's face. "Pathetic. The first shiny Rosey in history, and he covered it up so that all the chus would think that Magi-Chan and Rosechu's bastard baby was all special and pwetty."
The Asperchus broke into derisive laughter, particularly Swift Sonichu. Bill could only hang there in Bobby's vines, crying and sniveling as his broken limbs dangled beneath him.
"But that's beside the point, now that Christine's dead." Simonchu edged the drill a centimeter closer, pushing the tip against the zipper of his victim's pants. "I want the failsafe phrase. You built one into Blake, you built one into Simonla, you built one into all the Chaotic Scouts, and you sure as hell built one into Sandy. You give me that, and I swear on my father's grave, we'll send you back to the chus, alive. It's more than you deserve, but I want that code."
"All right! All right!" The scientist squeezed his eyes shut, causing a trickle of blood to seep out of his mangled socket. "I'll give you the goddamn failsafe! Magi-Chan put it in her just after she hatched! Just say it to her, and you'll override the mental conditioning! I don't care! Just let me-"
"Go ahead, Doctor," insisted Simonchu. "We're listening."
"The failsafe is…" Bill hesitated, then let out a trembling breath. "Evan killed Mommy."
The chuckling ceased. All at once, the group of Electric Hedgehog Pokémon looked toward their leader, whose triumphant grin had transformed into a cold snarl at the utterance of those three words. Of all the Asperchus, Simonchu had been the hardest hit by the horrific execution of the Asperpedia Four – especially his surrogate father. Now the man responsible for Evan's death hung before him, waiting for the end to come. He had promised the traitor a quick death, but…
"He's telling the truth," Swift confirmed, pressing a finger to his temple as he scanned Schwartz's thoughts. "We're done here. Do it, Simon."
"Gladly," growled Simonchu, glaring into Bill's eyes with white-hot rage. "For Father."
VRRVRRVRRVRRVRRVRRVRRVRR!
Pain seared through the scientist's stomach as the steel drill shredded the front of his lab coat and plunged into his abdomen, churning its way through muscles and intestines until the sharp tip burst from the center of his back. As darkness spread across his vision and death rushed to claim him, Bill felt the vines retract from his arms and legs, sending him plummeting into the abyss that lay within the open manhole. The impact against the concrete floor shattered what little remained of his spine, and in his final, excruciating moments of life, he could see Simonchu looking down at him with vengeful contentment, along with the rest of the Asperchu Combo.
Then, with a hollow clang, the circle of steel slid back over the hole, plunging the dying man into utter darkness. The last thing he heard before he crashed into unconsciousness was the shuffling sound of many pairs of little stumpfeet, and the hungry squeals of approaching Sonees and Roseys. Dozens upon dozens of Sonees and Roseys, all of whom had been born and bred in the single harshest environment CWCville had to offer – the one and only abandoned zone.
"WOSEY! SEEEEEEEY!"
"YAY! GOO-GOO! YAY!"
"SONEE! YAY!"
"YAY! YAY! YAAAAY!"
Mercifully, by the time the swarm began tearing into his flesh, Bill Schwartz was already gone.
"It's over," Michael Sonichu announced as he and the Asperchus materialized in Wilderness's command and control center. Vivian Gee and Jason Kendrick Howell had both just arrived from the security mainframe, leaving Robotnik and several technicians down in the sublevels to deal with the aftermath of Schwartz's sabotage. "We left him at the Asperpedia memorial. The ferals should take care of whatever's left."
"Excellent work, all of you." The PVCC supreme commander sighed in relief and sank into her chair, while Howell did the same. "I'd usually give you a few minutes to enjoy yourselves, but we're seeing some heavy EHPF activity moving towards our squads in Factory and Sunnyside." She drew a laser pointer from her pocket and aimed it at the projector screen, marking out a few areas on the large UAV map of CWCville. "Swift, start teleporting them over to these parts of the city. Be sure and let the Jerkops know what Schwartz did to us…and what you did to him."
With a satisfied grin, the psychic Sonichu raised a finger to his temple and vanished, along with Simonchu and the rest of his brothers and sisters. As sweet as the Asperchu Combo's victory had been, the final battle for CWCville would not be won through Jerkops and Transformers alone. Ironically, they were now the PVCC's greatest weapon against the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon, and the key to victory.
"Bryan, Patrick, how's the radio problem coming along?" Gee inquired, turning to her two communication officers.
"Robotnik just got our broadcast tower back online!" yelled Bryan Bash from his control terminal. Beside him, Patrick Ryan was busy adjusting what looked like a solid wall of electronic equipment in an attempt to re-establish contact with each of the other bases across the city. "I'm gonna reset the whole system and get the squad links up and running, but we should have basic contact back by now!"
"Good! Good!" Grabbing her personal radio, Vivian switched to the emergency administration channel and lifted the receiver to her ear. No doubt the other commanders and Miscreants were curious as to why Wilderness and everyone in it had seemingly just dropped off the face of the earth. "All PVCC administrators on this frequency, this is Vivian Gee. Be advised, the state of emergency on Wilderness has ended. We're attempting to reboot our communications network at the moment, but for now, continue with your current operations as instructed." She paused, waiting for a response. "Arceus, tell me someone's listening…"
"Hello, Vivian."
Gee nearly dropped the radio in shock. Her face drained of color, and the breath seemed to freeze in her lungs as she struggled to form a reply. The voice on the other end of the line was one that she hadn't heard for months…one that she had been almost certain she would never hear again.
"M…" she stammered, fighting to hold back an explosion of disbelief and joy. "M…Mary?"
"It's good to hear your voice again, Vivian," Mary Lee Walsh laughed weakly. "I'm sorry to have to say this, but…I think your time as my replacement commander is coming to an end."
"Vivian, it's Clyde!" The Miscreant sounded out of breath, and in the background, Gee could hear a low, rumbling roar and several bursts of gunfire. "Look, I know you're angry about what we did, but just hear me out on this one! We're in CWCville Penitentiary! The whole prison's a fucking battlefield, but we got everyone down to the Abyss! I don't know how long the mercs are gonna keep Bubbles and Blake occupied up top, but we've got Mary and we're heading back to the elevator right now! We got mini Sonees and Roseys all over the damn place-"
A faint ding sounded over the transmission, followed by a menacing giggle and something that sounded like the splashing of water. Vivian's blood nearly froze solid as she recognized the high-pitched voice. Whatever Clyde and Jack had just gotten themselves into, there was no doubt in her mind that their present situation had just escalated to a level several miles beyond "fucked".
"Back for another beating, you silly little trolls?" Bubbles Rosechu sniggered. "You should have thought twice about coming down here again; no one is going to set Christian's nemesis Slaweel free while Blakey-boo and Momma and I have anything to say about it! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"SHIT! OPEN FIRE!" screamed Clyde. "EVERYONE, OPEN FIRE!"
"Christian. Have a seat. Put the Game Boy away, please."
"Ughhh…"
"Thank you. Now, do you know why you're here, Christian?"
"Because you are…because you will not facul-a-tate my Love Quest!"
"You're here because I've received several...complaints from female students that you've been harassing them with this...what did you call it?"
"That, uh, that is my Attraction Sign, an' I made it for tha expressed purpose of-"
"I know what it's for, and I want it to stop, now. Do you realize how much you're-"
"Look, is it SO WRONG for me to seek out TRUE LOVE and COMPANIONSHIP? Where do YOU get off, telling me that that is ILLEGAL?"
"This is not the way to do that. It's a stupid method for finding a girlfriend, and if you keep it up, there WILL be consequences. There is a zero tolerance policy for any form of harassment at PVCC, and we won't stand for it, no matter how many 'Respect Points' you offer us."
"DIS IS NOT HARASSMENT! I AM NOT HURTIN', NOBODY IS GETTING HURT!"
"Sit down and stop yelling, Christian!"
"Why would y- What d'you have against autistic children, huh?"
"Don't change the subject. This has nothing to do with autism. You're old enough to know better, and if you ask me, it's about time you showed your peers some actual maturity!"
"Ughhh… Well, I do not hafta listen ta YOUR opinion, Mary Lee Walsh! I have a witness who is FAR more experienced with tha understanding of my needs…Sonic tha Hedgehog!"
"What?"
"You're an evil, lying WITCH, Mary Lee Walsh! My buddy Christian would NEVER harass women! He has watched all of the episodes of my show, an' KNOWS WELL all of tha morals! An' furthermore, uh, Christian knows not ta touch a woman if she wouldn't want him to!"
"Christian, stop mocking me. How dare you!"
"Yes Sonic, I agree! She is not even giving me tha time of day ta state my case! I mean, I would understand if I had been HITTING a woman, but she has not even done her job as Student Dean of keeping boyfriend-free girls like my gal-pal Sarah away from JERKS like dat dang Wes Iseli!"
"Arceus, this is pathetic."
"Well then, she is just another lowlife scumbag like every other lame-o in dis dang school! Why else would she use such a stinks-on-ice security system dat requires you ta rememb…ta recall a whole EIGHT LETTERS? She is getting in tha way of your Love Quest, an' dat's NO GOOD!"
"That does it! Christian, you apologize this instant, or I will see to it that you're expelled!"
"Dat's right, Sonic! An' I think dat I know jus' what she deserves!"
"Sit down! What do you think you're doing?"
"CUUURRRRSE…YEEEE…HAAAA…MEEEE…HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"It…it didn't work, Sonic!"
"Get out of my office. NOW."
West CWCville, Upper West District, CWCville Penitentiary, The Abyss, 1:09 a.m.
The dream ended, and Mary Lee Walsh awoke.
Even in such a disoriented state, the PVCC supreme commander could tell that she was underwater. Her mouth and nose were covered by some kind of respirator mask, and a plastic tube had been jammed down her throat. Her limbs were held in a state of immobility within the hydrostasis cell, locked into a steel cradle while an odd mechanical hum sounded from below.
Confused, Walsh looked down to see a vent on the tank floor slowly sliding open. The water level had already begun to recede. Why were they releasing her? Had Chandler or Bubbles devised some new torture, or was there some other problem? It didn't seem right…why would they awaken her, when the loyalists knew what she was capable of? Already, Walsh could feel some of her latent power returning – mere vestiges of the psionic gift she had learned to master under Graduon's guidance. Hindered by the cocktail of sedatives coursing through her veins, it was unlikely that she would be able to summon enough energy without time to prepare first.
CLICK! The cuffs retracted, dropping Mary to the floor. Her legs buckled and gave out, the muscles severely weakened by half a year of inactivity. Unable to support herself, the exhausted woman collapsed onto her side. Raising a hand to her mouth, she wrapped her fingers around the plastic tube and pulled it out of her throat, despite a sudden urge to vomit. As she looked up, a pair of figures took shape through the translucent cylinder.
"Arceus, it's her." The first man rapped the glass with the barrel of his revolver. "Mary! Mary!"
"Get it open, Clyde!" ordered the second. "Hack the door! What the fuck happened to all our-"
"O HAI THERE! SHUT UP AND TAKE MY HAAAAAAAX!"
Devil Trolls? Mary wondered deliriously. How?
The doors slid open, and fresh air flooded the cell. Two pairs of hands grabbed hold of her arms and shoulders, hauling her out into the open and draping a thick grey winter coat across her shivering shoulders. The dull rattling noises thundering inside Walsh's ears instantly sharpened into loud bursts of gunfire, mixed with frantic yells and high-pitched squeals. The entire Abyss sounded like it had been plunged into a war zone, but all that she could make out through the blurry haze was a mess of black, blue, and flashes of white.
"Mary! Mary, are you okay?" Clyde Cash sounded nearly desperate with concern as he helped her into the coat. "Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. What the hell did that son of a bitch do to you?"
"I…" Walsh broke out in a sudden, savage coughing fit. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she shook the water out of her hair and collapsed against the side of the tank. "Nothing…I couldn't…survive…" She looked up, breathless and flushed. "Clyde…Jack…I thought you…"
"No, we're here," Clyde laughed gratefully. "Jason and Kathleen made it out too. We lost so much at 4-cent_garbage…but we escaped. Wehad to."
A weak smile spread across the commander's face. "Is Marty…"
"He's fine," replied Jack. "Ledger's squad took him in after you were captured. Just hold on a-"
"They're getting through!" a Jerkop yelled from the left. "LOPEZ, WATCH THE SIDES!"
BANG! Clyde raised his revolver and blasted a Sonee in its chubby midsection, turning the baby chu inside out as it and the Rosey behind it both exploded backwards across the black stone floor. Two more cannon blasts from the Model 500 disintegrated another of Bubbles Rosechu's miniature spawn, while Jack began taking pistol shots at the pack of larvae. A group of at least twenty Jerkops had formed a defensive arc around the tank in an attempt to hold back the tide. There wasn't much that Walsh could do besides cover her ears. Her mind was still too muddled.
"Back to the elevator! Go! Go!" Jack beckoned furiously to the operatives, then pointed to the hallway leading out of the Abyss. "Clyde, help me get her out of here!"
"Gimme a second!" shouted Clyde, and fired another round into the horde. Stowing the revolver, he heaved Vejovis off the ground and pointed it directly at Walsh. Before the PVCC commander could say a word, a red beam of energy streamed into her chest, enveloping her in the medigun's healing rays. Instantly, Mary could feel her strength returning, her atrophied muscles reforming and rebuilding themselves. Only her mind remained clouded, but she was working on that.
"Focus on a single point," she whispered, closing her eyes and attempting to block out as much of the noise as she could. Graduon may have been wiped from existence for months now, but the ancient spirit's voice still resonated within Walsh's memory. She had to take it step by step, or…
"Get up! Come on, Mary!" Jack hauled the commander upright, interrupting her concentration as he began dragging her away toward the Abyss's entrance. The line of Jerkops was falling back too, while the Devil Troll flock blasted away at Bubbles's babies with plasma and laz0rs. Sealed inside her tank, Momma was limited to slamming herself against the glass wall and letting out thunderous bellows, but could do nothing to stop the PVCC from leaving.
"Jack! Jack, wait!" Clyde grappled for his radio and summoned a Devil Troll, who dutifully pulled away from the fighting and alighted upon his shoulder to act as a relay. "I'm gonna try and contact Wilderness! We got it all set up - I think I can get a signal up to the surface and-"
"…the state of emergency on Wilderness has ended," announced a weary-sounding Vivian Gee. "We're attempting to reboot our communications network at the moment, but for now, continue with your current operations as instructed. Arceus, tell me someone's listening…"
"Hello, Vivian."
Jack and Clyde looked down. The commander seemed to be fighting off her stupor, and her frail voice had grown into a stronger, firmer tone – the kind she used so often during her time as leader of the PVCC. She beckoned to the Miscreant, who passed her the radio without question.
"M…M…Mary?"
"It's good to hear your voice again, Vivian," continued Walsh with a relieved laugh. "I'm sorry to have to say this, but…I think your time as my replacement commander is coming to an end."
"Vivian, it's Clyde!" yelled Clyde, leaning to the radio. "Look, I know you're angry about what we did, but just hear me out on this one! We're in CWCville Penitentiary! The whole prison's a fucking battlefield, but we got everyone down to the Abyss! I don't know how long the mercs are gonna keep Bubbles and Blake occupied up top, but we've got Mary and we're heading back to the elevator right now! We got mini Sonees and Roseys all over the damn place-"
Ding!
Surprised, Mary looked over her shoulder, down the darkened hallway that led to the elevator. Something wasn't right. Clyde and Jack were looking too, but with confusion, not the familiar chilling dread like she was feeling at the moment. Her memories of captivity might have been fragmented, but there was still one thing she did remember from those six months of hell. Like some kind of Pavlovian experiment gone horribly right, the sound of the elevator ignited Mary's panic response immediately, bringing her back to the rushing water, the immense pressure, the-
"Heeheeheeheeheehee!" Bubbles Rosechu giggled, slipping between the elevator doors as they opened to let her and Blake Sonichu through. "Back for another beating, you silly little trolls?"
The blood drained from Walsh's face, and the single point in her mindscape shattered, leaving only pitch blackness. Desperately, she tried to salvage her concentration, but the memories of Bubbles's water torture only grew worse and worse the harder she focused.
"You should have thought twice about coming down here again!" sneered Bubbles. "No one is going to set Christian's nemesis Slaweel free while Blakey-boo and Momma and I have anything to say about it!" Placing her hands on her hips, she threw her head back and let out a sadistic laugh that even Blake seemed to cower away from. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"SHIT!" Clyde snatched a handful of bullets from his coat pocket and began reloading the Model 500. "OPEN FIRE! EVERYONE, OPEN FIRE!"
"Get back! Get to cover!" yelled Jack, firing a burst from his P90 and pushing Walsh away as half of the Jerkops ceased their assault and reformed at the hallway entrance. Bubbles surfed towards them, laughing as she rose upon a miniature tidal wave she had just summoned out of nowhere. Behind her, Blake followed without a word, his cheekspots crackling with electricity. There was no sign of EHPF officers or any other Combo members accompanying them, but with two of CWCville's deadliest Electric Hedgehog Pokémon coming from one direction and a flood of their just-as-deadly spawn coming from the other, the PVCC had enough to deal with already.
Panicked gunfire raked the doorway as the pair of chus burst into the Abyss, but Bubbles was more than ready. Raising an arm as if she was dancing, she swept a wall of water in front of her like a legionary's shield to catch the few dozen or so bullets that zipped through the opening. A second gesture exploded the barrier, sending nearly a hundred gallons of water spraying across the gathered Jerkops just as Blake leaped into the air overhead to unleash his Thundershock.
BOOM! ZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
The black-furred Sonichu was hurled backwards through the air, slamming into the rock wall as an airborne 40mm grenade detonated in his face. Blake's electric blast went wild, searing the sides of the massive room with white-hot sparks and completely missing its target. Walsh scrambled to get clear of the fighting as Bubbles let out a scream and began firing off Hydro Pumps at any Jerkop in sight.
The Abyss shuddered. More and more explosions rocked the cavern, mingling with Momma's frenzied pounding from the colossal tank. The mutated Swampert almost seemed willing to bash itself to death in the attempt to reach her foes, but had only managed to put a single crack into the reinforced glass. Looking back to the shootout, Walsh nearly felt her heart stop as one of Bubbles' water jets ripped a Jerkop's chest and shoulder down to the bone. Before the man could scream, rays of red light enveloped him and sealed the wound. Clyde had stowed his revolver and was now firing Vejovis at any injured operatives he could see, all the while yelling orders to his Devil Troll swarm. Laz0rs and bullets flashed back and forth, and even though the PVCC were putting up one hell of a fight, they couldn't possibly last more than another few minutes.
Curling the fingers of her right hand into a fist, Mary raised it in front of her face and closed her eyes. The last mental barrier crumbled before her own resurgent willpower, and just like that, the psychic channel was open again.
Now all she needed was an exit point.
CWCville Penitentiary, ground floor, atrium, 1:15 a.m.
"Doctor Eggman had a farm, E-I-E-I-O! And on that farm he had a PINGAS, E-I-E-I…Ooooo, HI THERE! Hey, whatcha doin'? Can I hug yooooou? YAAAAY! Heehee, you dead."
"Guuuuggghhh…" The wounded Sonichu's eyes rolled back for the last time as a giggling SUZI sliced through his jugular, ushering forth a thick spurt of blood. Satisfied, the little combat drone sheathed her stub-blade and toddled away, leaving her victim to choke and bleed out while she searched for another one to play with. There were plenty of bodies lying around the atrium, but very few of the EHPF officers were still alive. The survivors had fled CWCville Penitentiary in pursuit of the retreating True Blue. As for Bubbles, Blake, or the PVCC operatives…well, SUZI didn't know where they were at the moment. She didn't actually know where anyone was.
Bored, the LIESA unit fired her repulsor jets and began zipping around the room at random. There had to be something she could do to pass the time until things got interesting again. Maybe some of her insane friends were nearby, and maybe they'd want to play with her!
No. No, they don't, SUZI realized seconds later, when she tried to open a link to the rest of the Devil Trolls in the prison and was instead greeted by the shocking image of a man stretching his rectum to a circumference that many would have thought inhumanly possible. Sighing, she stashed the Goatse jpeg in her memory bank and carried on scanning for other signals. All of the Devil Troll ones seemed to be several floors below her, out of her reach. All of them, except one.
SUZI jetted over to the source of the signal – a large wooden crate sitting on the floor right below the hole in the atrium's half-destroyed roof. Trogdor the Burninator and a collection of Styrofoam packing peanuts lay scattered across the floor adjacent to it. Oddly enough, the signal seemed to be coming from inside the box itself. Never one to waste time when there were lulz to be had, the LIESA unit raised an armstub and blasted the side of the crate with her dual machine guns, then punched her way through the hole. Instantly, she found herself buried in an avalanche of Styrofoam, along with a metal case, just about her size and labeled TESLA-CHU.
SUZI gently prodded it with one of her stumpfeet, but to her vast disappointment, the case did not explode, nor did it transform into a device capable of sapping an automated sentry turret. She pushed the top of the container open, then stepped back to examine it. Inside lay what looked like a metal Sonee, or some kind of new LIESA variant. The normal parts were all there, but its ears had been replaced with some sort of extended power nodes, or something of that nature. Its oddest feature, though, was a small mustache-like speaker attached just below its nose. All in all, the machine didn't look particularly threatening. In fact, it actually looked…familiar.
"HI THERE!" she exclaimed, and poked it in one of its eye-screens. "Wanna play with me?"
The mustached robot failed to respond. Either it couldn't, or it was ignoring her. SUZI pulled it out of the case and dumped the whole contraption onto the floor, then flipped it over onto its back. There was no power switch, but the machine's belly bore a hinged flap, presumably to allow its owners to tinker around with its inner workings. jammed her stub into the gap and activated an electrical jolt through the blade. Maybe it hadn't been charged, or maybe it was…
The prototype's eye-screens flashed green as it booted up far more quickly than any Devil Troll or LIESA normally could. Unsure of what to make of this, SUZI stepped back and watched the machine rise from the floor. It looked around, blinked once, let out a sigh, and shook its head.
"Direct current," it scoffed, its voice bearing an Eastern European accent. "How humiliating."
"HI THERE!"
Startled, the robot nearly toppled over, teetering on its stumpfeet as it spun to face the LIESA unit. SUZI could feel it attempting to access her with some kind of wireless scanner, but the process quickly ground to a halt when it reached the nearly 27 gigabytes of gay porn that she had accumulated in her memory over the years. The security scan promptly ceased.
"What on Earth…" The prototype stared, dumbfounded. "You're not…wait, who are you?"
"MmmmmMMMMmmmm…" SUZI shrugged. "I dunno, lol. I'm SUZI! Wanna play with me?"
"My name is TESLA-Chu, and I can think of several things I would much rather do than playing with the likes of you," replied TESLA-Chu."Locating my missing pigeon friends, for one. Then of course, there's the matter of finding out what has happened since that devil woman put me into hibernation…"
CRACK! A violet flash exploded through CWCville Penitentiary, and suddenly, the atrium filled with people, Devil Trolls, and a honey badger. Mary Lee Walsh stood at the center of the group, shivering from the mass teleport she had just managed to pull off. Many of the Jerkops around her looked as though they had been right in the middle of a shootout, and as such, were naturally surprised to find themselves transported thirteen vertical stories up to the surface.
"Okay, what just happened?" Joshua Martinez shouted, looking around in confusion. "Where-"
"I don't believe it!" Laughing, Clyde Cash hurried to Mary's side and hugged her gratefully. "You want to know what happened? Commander Walsh just saved all of our lives, that's what!"
"Someone had to," added Walsh, dusting her jacket off as she straightened up and surveyed the carnage. "Arceus, look at this mess. You had to shoot your way through all of this?"
"The mercs and EHPF were already fighting each other when we dropped in," Kevin spoke up. "It's, uh, that's actually kind of my fault, Commander…but it's a long story."
"Save it for debriefing, Shaw." The PVCC supreme commander glanced at her subordinates. "Jack, Clyde, I hope you thought of a fast way out of here. I'm not sure I can pull off another one of those." Snapping her fingers, she summoned a Devil Troll and headed straight for the armory. "Get us out of this hellhole, and make sure you cut the elevator. I don't want them following us."
"Already on it." Jack held up his radio. "La Llorona, come in. We're set for extraction, over."
"Hey, SUZI!" Al knelt beside the little combat drone and patted her on the head, then looked down at TESLA-Chu as Steve, Kevin, and the other Honey Badgers gathered around to examine it. "Hang on…what the hell is this thing? Where'd you find it?"
"I am not a 'thing'!" announced the prototype, brazenly glaring at Al. "I am TESLA-Chu, the next stage of LIESA development, engineered to exterminate the biological abominations known as Electric Hedgehog Pokémon. My superior knowledge of electrical currents allows me to-"
"HE'S MY NEW BEST FRIEND!" squealed SUZI, cutting off TESLA-Chu's speech with a hug. "Can we keep him? Can we keep him? PleeeeeEEEEEase?"
Kevin heaved Trogdor off the ground and passed it back to Allie without a word as Al struggled to pull SUZI off of the very distraught TESLA-Chu. He didn't know what to make of this new development, but everything was happening so quickly that it wasn't really affecting him anymore. Had it really only been less than half a day since Operation Hedgeclipper?
I should have killed Chandler back in the mall, he thought, grimacing as the memory resurfaced. I had him. I could've cut his throat and ended it right there. Next time, I won't fuckin' hesitate.
"You okay, Kevin?" Allie touched his arm gently. She sounded worried, but at least she wasn't shutting him out like before. "Hey, it's gonna be fine. We're almost out of here, remember?"
"IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZ0R!" A sizzling energy blast sounded from behind the two Jerkops, followed by a metallic shriek and a crash far below. The Devil Trolls had cut the elevator cable, stranding Bubbles and Blake in the Abyss and giving the PVCC a few precious minutes to make their escape. Outside, La Llorona had touched down on the asphalt, its rotors whipping the snow into a flurry around the helicopter.SkyRocket hovered overhead, keeping watch from the air.
"Never again. We are never doing that again!" Steve opened his revolver's cylinder and shakily began inserting fresh bullets. "Hey, Al, next time anyone asks us to go into another underground facility or some shit like that, tell 'em that they can kiss my fuckin' eye socket."
"No argument here," Jexis panted. "We just need some sleep, that's what. Tonight was-"
"…a Grade A clusterfuck," Al finished for her. "And as of right now, I am done. Fuck the rocket, fuck the satellite, and fuck all of this Loose Ends shit. We killed Sonichu's family, freed Naitsirhc, murdered Crystal, and got Walsh back. You think that's enough for one night?"
"Nearly enough." Mary Lee Walsh had returned, wielding her trident and wearing her purple combat outfit. Her horned battle helm was tucked under one arm, and the jetboard folded across her back. "Arceus, I hope these still work. At least Schwartz never got his hands on them."
"Commander!" The Legend saluted. "It's good to have you back in the fight, ma'am."
"I knew Vivian wouldn't let me down," sighed Walsh. "You too, Albert. If Jack was telling the truth…Arceus, you actually managed to pull off Operation Hedgeclipper?"
"It's a thing of beauty, Commander," Al smiled wistfully. "All three babies and Rosechu. We got the whole thing on camera, but I wouldn't recommend eating anything before watching it."
"We've got…a lot to go over with you, Mary." Jack Thaddeus reappeared behind the group, accompanied by Clyde Cash. "Once we get everyone into the chopper-"
"Damn it," Steve cursed under his breath. "So close…"
"…we just need to swing by the Lovely Weather Hotel," finished Jack, shooting an irritated look at the Manajerk. "Chandler had Schwartz build him a rocket after the defection, and we're gonna do a little tinkering with it before we launch it to orbit. Should be enough for the broadcast plan."
Walsh nodded and looked down at TESLA-Chu, who was currently glaring up at her with a look of utter frustration. "I'm guessing that the prototype has something to do with all of this?"
"That's why we brought it along," Clyde explained. "Alien technology or not, it's decades ahead of anything we've seen before. If we're going to pull this off, we can't afford to put the operation in the hands of, well…" He nodded to his flock of Devil Trolls. "Just saying, anything goes."
"What on earth are you talking about? I never agreed to this!" objected the robot. "My creator clearly stated that I was built specifically for combat support duty and scientific missions…"
"This is a science mission, TESLA-Chu." Mary interrupted. "Trust me, you'll have a blast." She turned to the pair of Miscreants. "And while I respect your plan, Jack…I think it's time we all brought this campaign to an end. As of right now, I'm taking control of this operation. You and Martinez's operatives will return to Wilderness, immediately. As soon as you're in the air, dispatch the second helicopter to the Lovely Weather Hotel. I may not be able to gather enough power to transport everyone there, but I can definitely manage Clyde and a small squad."
"Let me guess." Kevin's face hardened into a frown. "Our squad."
"Well, thanks to you, our dear Mayor's either crashing into slumber or crapping into his briefs," said Clyde, reaching into his coat pocket for the Ziploc bag containing Bill Schwartz's dislodged eyeball. "Or both. And thanks to Tatsuno, we've got access to Chandler's launch facility. By the time he and the Combo realize what we did, CWCSPACE One should be well on its way up."
"You've all been through a lot tonight," Mary murmured. "I can't even begin to imagine what you went through to rescue me, but all I'm asking for now is one final push. If we get Chandler's satellite under PVCC control, we can send out a broadcast and show everyone what's happening. The world needs to know. They need to see all that we've endured…and all that we've lost."
"They'll never know all that we've lost." Al's voice was weary, but determined. Though his gaze was locked on Walsh's, Kevin could tell that the Legend was speaking directly to every member of his squad. "We can tell them what happened, and they'll still never know what it's like to live under Chandler's reign." He fixed his gaze on Kevin, then Steve, then Kuri, Jexis, Serge, SUZI, and Sugar. "But we got this far already. What the hell's stopping us from going all the way?"
"Good." Passing her jetboard over to Jack Thaddeus, the PVCC commander's eyes filled with violet light as she began summoning energy for another teleport. "Take the board and the rest of our supplies to Wilderness, Jack. See you there, and be sure to tell Vivian I'll be back shortly."
"Will do," replied Jack as Los Chupacabras and the Honey Badgers began exchanging hasty farewells. "Martinez, Lopez, everyone head to the extraction point! Move!"
"Right," ordered Walsh. "Brace yourselves…this isn't going to be completely stable."
Kevin barely had time to grab Allie's hand before the world folded into itself once again, pulling him, his squadmates, Clyde, Mary, TESLA-Chu, and the Devil Troll swarm into a psychic void. Disoriented by the sudden rush of blood to his head, he closed his eyes and forced himself to keep taking deep breaths. Through the roar of energy around him, he could actually hear voices echoing in the immaterial tunnel. One of them was clearly Aki's, but the other…
"Abomination." Magi-Chan Sonichu's voice sounded like it was being projected from several miles away. An image flashed through Kevin's mind, and for a second, he was standing on top of a Soup Hotel, face to face with a tiny floating sphere of purple light. "Go ahead. Run. You know I'll find you in the end. The Passage will be completed, and my final ascension shall begin."
"Enough, Father." Aki sounded nearly out of breath, yet her resolve was still as strong as ever. "You and I both know that this duel is pointless. I don't want to kill you. I just want answers."
"It's no use trying to delay your fate any longer, child," the Sonichu snarled. "TAKE THIS!"
"Kevin!"
Kevin blinked, and suddenly he was lying on cold concrete, blankly gazing up at the concerned faces of his squadmates, Clyde Cash, and Mary Lee Walsh. Sugar trotted up to him and nuzzled against his arm, as if checking to see whether he was okay or not.
"You okay?" Allie asked, grabbing the Jerkop's hand and helping him back to his feet.
"Yeah…" mumbled Kevin, still reeling from the psychic vision. "I think…I saw Magi-Chan."
"Christ, don't tell me he's hallucinating." Clyde tapped the depleted gauge on Vejovis's power pack. "I've only got enough juice left for a few quick heals. Is he gonna be okay, or should we-"
"He's telling the truth," Mary interrupted. "I told you it was going to be unstable." She hefted the trident across her shoulders and looked around, surveying the long, circular corridor. "That actually worked better than I thought it would. I aimed for an exit point inside the hotel, but we must've ended up in the facility itself."
"Wouldn't there usually be…well…EHPF or something in here?" asked Kuri.
Al shrugged. "Must've been called away because of the uprising, or the True Blue. Either way, I don't think Chandler was expecting us to hit CWCSPACE One tonight."
"Right. Clyde, start hacking this place and get us a floorplan," ordered Walsh as she picked up TESLA-Chu. "Everyone, keep your eyes peeled for a control room, or a security terminal."
Drawing Origin, Kevin slung the AK-47 over his back while each his comrades did the same, except for Allie and Serge. At such close quarters, assault rifles would be more of a burden than a blessing, but it was still comforting to have Trogdor and Baba Yaga available to take out any lingering chus if they had decided to stick around the facility. At Clyde's command, the Devil Trolls dispersed in all directions, leaving SUZI and TESLA-Chu behind with the Jerkops and Miscreants as the group began making their way around the circular corridor.
"Okay. Question." Al fell into step beside Mary, eyeing the prototype LIESA suspiciously. "Where did you get this thing? Is it one of Robotnik's?"
"I beg your pardon?!" retorted TESLA-Chu, clearly offended.
"Not quite." The commander shook her head. "Much as he'd like to convince us otherwise, Ivo isn't anywhere close to reaching this level of engineering. I know you're not gonna believe me, but we actually picked this up about a week before the June Offensive. I'd imagine your LIESA unit would most likely have gone missing around that time, is that correct?"
"Yeah…" Al looked quizzically down at SUZI. "She did. Where were you, anyway?"
"Heeheeheehee!" The combat drone giggled. "I went to Mars! There's lotsa SCIENCE there!"
"Long story short, we had a…visitor," continued Walsh. "For lack of a better word, we'll just call him...it…that. A visitor. We don't know how or why it ended up here, but it tried to sneak into Slumberland after you. I had it interrogated, and most of what we learned was deemed 'need-to-know' information, so I assigned a specialist team to keep an eye on it. The next thing I know, they disappear and return that night with your LIESA, the medigun, and TESLA-Chu."
"So that's where she was," Al muttered. "What about the visitor?"
"Gone. Back to wherever it came from." Mary shrugged. "According to the team's report and a note they received, the visitor engineered this prototype based off of your LIESA's framework, but far more advanced. For some reason, it also believes that it's Nikola Tesla."
"I do not merely believe. I know I am," stated TESLA-Chu. "But what I would like to know more is why you chose to put me into hibernation for so long, Commander. Why would you suppress such superior technology when it could have been used for your benefit?"
"I wish we could have," sighed the commander. "I'm sorry I had to order your deactivation, but you and Vejovis were too valuable to risk." She looked at Al. "We had the Asperpedia team run tests on them at Menchi-Nasu until Chandler came back from the Time Void. After that, well…"
"It's okay," Steve said understandingly. "It wasn't your fault. We've been taking care of Marty in the meantime, and let me tell you, he is in for one hell of a surprise once we get out of here."
"I'm looking forward to it, Morrison." Walsh glanced over her shoulder at Clyde. "How's it going, Cash? Do we have a map yet?"
"Yeah, looks like this is one of the outer rings, right around the launch hanger." The Miscreant scrolled through a digital floorplan on his command pad, then held it up for the commander to see. "We're here. The control room is just up here. I can't get access through the Devil Trolls, but we've got access to minor doors, lighting, viewing windows…"
"Open it all up," ordered Mary. "I want to see what kind of space program we're dealing with."
Clyde tapped a spot on the display. A low rumbling rang through the corridor as the metal panels that covered the inner wall started to retract, exposing a line of thick glass observation windows. Inside the ring stood a colossal structure, just over 300 feet tall, connected to the Lovely Weather Hotel by a series of scaffolds and supports. Floodlights flickered on around the launch pad, illuminating the entire rocket. A conical command module covered its tip, while the main body was composed of several stages of liquid fuel tanks and engines. The strangest features, though, were the two large spherical solid fuel tanks attached at the base, directly opposite each other.
"OoooOOOoooo…" SUZI jetted up to Al's shoulder for a better view. "It's a PINGAS rocket!"
"It's…so…beautiful…" gasped TESLA-Chu, pressing his armstubs and face against the glass.
"How the fuck did they build this?" Steve yelled, gesturing at the ridiculously phallic spacecraft. "No way! Even with Schwartz'z help, there'sno way Chandler built this in six months!"
"With the Combo's help, I'd wager it only took 'em six weeks," countered Clyde. "We always thought the project was under the Shopping Center, but there was no way in hell we could've hit that successfully. Look what happened to you guys last June."
"Yeah, thanks for the reminder," growled Al. "Now can we just launch this damn thing already?"
The Jerkops and Miscreants dashed around the ring, followed by Sugar, SUZI, and TESLA-Chu. Looking out the window, Kevin could see little clusters of Devil Trolls flapping around the rocket's base, sniggering and drawing little curly hairs onto each of the fuel tanks with their plasma stubcannons. Thankfully, even the saboteur drones knew better than to laz0r the rocket.
"I don't even want to know how you got Schwartz," commented Walsh as they rounded the last stretch of corridor and stopped in front of the control room. A heavy security door lay between the rebels and their goal. The only way of accessing it seemed to be by an alphanumeric keypad and a retinal scanner. "I hope you left him alive. If the codes don't work, we're fucked."
"Sonichu…ChrisChan…1982," Clyde muttered to himself as he keyed in the same password he and Jack had used to open Mary Lee Walsh's hydrostasis cell. "Come on. Come on. Come on."
Entry code accepted, the electronic lock read. Awaiting retinal identification.
Dumping Bill Schwartz's bloody eyeball out of its Ziploc bag, the Miscreant held it up against the scanner's eyepiece and watched as a tiny grid of lasers crisscrossed the pupil and iris.
ID accepted. Welcome, Dr. Schwartz. The door clicked and swung outward, revealing a small control room with a single console at the center. Schwartz had designed the launch system to require as little effort as possible in an attempt to make it idiot-proof for Chandler and the Combo. It was a useless endeavor, but the Jerkops certainly didn't mind.
"Right. Clyde, get them into the rocket and prep the launch." Mary pointed at TESLA-Chu. "CWCSPACE One will be in our control as long as we're within range, but after it passes out of that area, it needs to be controlled from the inside." She smiled. "This is where you come in."
"Are you…are you implying what I think you are?" If the prototype had a jaw, it would most likely have dropped to the floor by now. "You want me…to pilot this spacecraft…into orbit?"
Walsh nodded. "I would never want to waste so much potential, Tesla. Come on, get moving."
Without a word, the little robot waddled over to Mary, hugged her ankle, then retreated to SUZI's side and reluctantly held out an armstub to her. The LIESA unit obediently grabbed TESLA-Chu and fired her skirt jets, carrying her new friend out of the control booth and up toward the towering rocket. At the tip of CWCSPACE One, the Devil Trolls had opened the main hatch and were climbing in, all shouting a mix of space-related memes and Uranus puns.
"We're sending the Devil Trolls into space?" asked Kuri, looking somewhat crestfallen. "Why?"
"This rocket was designed with two missions in mind, Tatsuno." Mary stepped up to the console, raising her hand above a large green button labeled PUSH THIS BUTTON TO LAUNCH. "One was to place Chandler's satellite in geosynchronous orbit above the city, and the other…"
"Hang on." Al peered out the window as a hatch opened on the side of the rocket. "Is that…"
FWOOOSH! A multicolored waterfall of drugs cascaded out of CWCSPACE One, piling up on the launchpad beside it. The rocket's payload had been a full sixteen tons - sixteen tons of marijuana, cocaine, heroin, crystal meth (in both clear and sky blue varieties), and enough illicit pills to make Hunter S. Thompson cower in fear and Charlie Sheen rethink his entire life.
"WHAT?" shouted the Honey Badgers, almost in unison.
"…was to send all of CWCville's drugs into the sun," finished the commander. "Chandler's been gathering this shipment for close to ten years now…he had to get rid of it sooner or later." She paused. "Well, it's not going there, that's for sure. I have a rather different destination in mind."
"Huh?" Clyde looked up confusedly. It looked as if something was dawning on him, but Kevin couldn't even begin to guess what that was. "Wait, what destination?
"Something I've been trying to reach for a very, very long time," replied Walsh, and slammed her hand against the button. "T-minus five..."
"Wait a minute!" yelled Al as the scaffolds retracted. "SUZI! WHERE THE HELL IS SUZI?"
FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! The glass polarized almost instantly, blocking out the blinding flash of light as the rocket's engines ignited and vaporized the drug pile. Belching flames from its "balls", CWCSPACE One slowly rose from the launch pad, ascending through the hollowed interior of the Lovely Weather Hotel. High above the awestruck PVCC operatives, the skyscraper's roof split open and pulled back, allowing the airborne metal phallus to pass beyond the building into the winter sky.
"SUZI!" The Legend sprinted to the control panel and grabbed hold of the microphone. "SUZI, get out of the rocket! GET OUT OF THE ROCKET NOW!"
"Teeheehee! I'm in ur PINGAS, flying to SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! WOOOHOOO!"
"We don't have time for this!" snapped Walsh, beckoning to Clyde and the other Jerkops. "Everyone in CWCville just saw that! The Combo's going to be coming down on us if we're not out of here by then!" Holding up her own walkie-talkie, she began heading for the exit. "SkyRocket, this is Walsh - we need an evacuation now! What's your ETA? Over!"
"Evac acknowledged, Commander, inbound on the roof. One minute and counting, over!"
"Good! Good! Everyone stay on me!" Whirling her trident around to fire, Walsh stopped in front of the corridor's end and blasted the wall with a bolt of searing energy. The resulting explosion decimated a good nine feet of drywall, wood, and sheet metal, sending the hidden door clattering to the ground in a shower of dust.
"PVCC! EVERYONE DOWN!" roared Steve, charging through the billowing cloud as Kevin and Al followed. "GET YOUR HANDS WHERE WE CAN…where we can…wait, huh?"
It was difficult to say who was more lost for words: the Honey Badgers or the pair of startled janitors - one blond, one with unkempt brown hair and a goatee - who had been mopping the lobby floor when the back wall exploded. Both were dressed in bright green uniforms, which were now covered in a layer of white dust. Apart from the two men, the entire lobby was empty. If Kevin had to, he would have guessed that the Lovely Weather Hotel's inhabitants were currently barricading themselves in their rooms, or else had fled the premises altogether in the wake of the Operation Hedgeclipper broadcast.
"Sorry," Steve blurted out before anyone on either side could say anything. "Elevator?"
The blond janitor didn't reply, but simply pointed to the left. Without a word, the Jerkops, Clyde, and Mary sprinted for the indicated elevator. Allie reached it first and punched the call button. The third set of doors slid open, allowing the group to pile in. To everyone's relief, the usual elevator music adapted from Christian Weston Chandler's favorite songs didn't appear to be working at the moment, leaving only the shrill howl of approaching EHPF sirens in the distance.
"Wonderful." Jexis rolled her eyes. "We can't catch a break tonight, can we?"
"Great attitude there, Cadet," remarked Steve. "Still, you're right. What if the chopper-"
"Backup plan." Clyde drew the Rosechu medallion from his pocket and handed it to Walsh. "We took this off of Crystal before she died. Jack and I thought it would be best if you kept it, Mary."
"How?" The commander held up the clay sculpture, examining it closely. "How the hell did you get hold of this…wait, Crystal Chandler's dead?How did you even manage to-"
"I didn't," Clyde corrected her, nodding to Kevin. "You can thank Shaw for that."
"You?" Walsh stared, her face locked in a mixture of disbelief and admiration. "But…"
Ding! The doors opened, and a wash of freezing air surrounded the Jerkops without delay. The Team Rocket attack helicopter was already hovering into its descent, blasting the roof with a chilling downdraft from its rotors. Apart from the pilot and copilot, there didn't appear to be any other personnel inside SkyRocket. It would be a tight squeeze, but with a small squad, the Miscreants and Honey Badgers would still manage to fit in. Further up in the cold blackness, the tiny dot of light from CWCSPACE One grew smaller and smaller as it rose into the atmosphere.
"Thank fucking Arceus," panted Al. "Goddamnit, I can't believe we left SUZI in there…"
"Worry about it once we're out of here, Ledger," snarled Mary. "Walsh to SkyRocket, we've got all operatives safe in the evac zone. Proceed with the landing, over."
"Copy that, Commander, we've got eyes on…FUCKING HELL, HANG ON!" The helicopter banked to the left, nearly spinning out of control in its desperate dodge as a feathered white blur shot past. SkyRocket dropped and skidded across the roof, but miraculously didn't flip over. Unfazed, the attacker spread its wings and dove, plummeting straight toward the Jerkops.
"I'VE GOT THIS!" yelled Walsh, pointing to the helicopter. "GET TO THE CH-"
WHAM! Angelica Rosechu smashed into the roof, whirling around like a dervish and scattering the group of operatives and Miscreants with her wings as if they were bowling pins. The breath left Kevin's lungs as he felt himself slam into Allie and tumble towards the landed helicopter, followed by a sharp pain in his ankle as it twisted the wrong way. Sparse bursts of panicked gunfire echoed across the roof as Kuri, Steve, and Jexis engaged the White Reaper, but the Rosechu's rage was nigh unstoppable. Raising her sickle, she hurled herself at Clyde Cash with a scream and knocked Vejovis away, then slashed the Miscreant across the shoulder. Al and Serge were back on their feet in seconds, but their vengeful barrage only drove Angelica into the air.
"ELECTRIC HEDGEHOG POWER!"
Kevin and Allie spun towards the shout. The pink Rosechu medallion now hung from around Walsh's neck, but despite pressing it as hard as she could, the PVCC commander didn't seem to be transforming as Chandler, Crystal, Naitsirhc, and Wes Iseli had done many times in the past. Desperately, she shook the clay head and yelled the transformation phrase again, but to no avail.
"No…" Allie's frightened gasp broke the silence. Kevin looked back to see her staring at her own hand with a look of sudden realization. "Oh no…"
"Is that all, witch?" scoffed Angelica, hurling Jexis and Serge aside with a double spinning kick that sent even the mighty Russian reeling backwards in pain. "Is that all you have to say?"
"You and me, Angie!" shouted Kuri, lunging at Angelica from the side. "DIE, YOU FUCKING B-"
Without even glancing at her assailant, the Rosechu furled a wing and smashed her opponent in the chest. Kuri hit the ground, sobbing as blood trickled from her mouth. A single flap from Angelica's wings, and the Jerkop was blown away by a sudden, powerful gust of wind. Dropping his empty XM8, Steve charged toward his fallen squadmate with a panicked scream, leaving himself completely exposed to attack in the process. Angelica's sickle lashed across his face, opening a jagged cut from temple to jaw. Dark droplets of blood spattered the Manajerk's white jacket as he collapsed on top of Kuri, clutching his mutilated cheek and yelling in pain.
"DO IT, ALLIE!" Al shouted, struggling to lift a half-conscious Clyde Cash to his feet. "ALLIE! ALLIE, BURN HER, GODDAMNIT!"
Heaving Trogdor upright, Allie squeezed the trigger and launched a stream of fire at the Rosechu, but Angelica was ready this time. Launching herself off the edge of the roof, she rose, spinning, her wings extended as the windstorm snuffed out the blast as if it had been no more than a candle. Trogdor the Burninator sputtered and died, its fuel supply exhausted at last.
"MARY!" roared Clyde. Grabbing up Vejovis, he briefly turned the beam on Kuri and Steve before emptying the remains of the tank into his own injuries. "MARY, TELEPORT!"
"I can't!" screamed Walsh. "Clyde, I need…"
"There's no time!" Clyde yelled. "We have to go now! DO IT, MARY! DO IT NOW!"
"We're not leaving them!" bellowed Al. "KEVIN! ALLIE! OVER HERE!"
"TOO LATE!" Steve waved desperately to the pair of Jerkops. "RUN! GO! GET TO THE CHOPPER!"
A blast of purple light bathed the roof, transporting Mary, Clyde, Al, Steve, Kuri, Serge, Jexis, and Sugarplum Fury back to the immaterial world. Kevin's heart dropped out of his chest as the last traces of glowing energy faded from the teleport's epicenter, but before he knew it, Allie was grabbing his arm, pulling him into the helicopter as Angelica searched madly for her vanished prey.
"What happened?" the pilot yelled as the two operatives climbed in. "Where's Walsh? Where-"
"GO! JUST GO!" screamed Allie, shrugging off Trogdor. "TAKE OFF! TAKE OFF!"
Wasting no time, the Team Rocket attack chopper lifted clear of the skyscraper's roof and spun towards the east, carrying the pair of Jerkops away from the site of their defeat. Grabbing an M16 from the weapon locker in the rear of the helicopter, Kevin passed it to Allie and quickly reloaded his AK-47. Angelica had to have noticed them now, and she couldn't be far behind…
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
It was as if a string of firecrackers had just gone off within his skull. Kevin let out a pained yell, but just as suddenly as it had arrived, the flare of agony gave way to a relentless headache. The pounding in his head failed to subside, in fact, it actually seemed to be growing in its intensity.
"Kevin!" Allie was at his side in seconds, trying to hold him down as he thrashed and kicked against her panicked grip. "Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Kevin, what's wrong?"
"NO HEATHEN SHALL ESCAPE THE JUSTICE OF THE LO0RD!" shrieked Angelica, tearing SkyRocket's cockpit apart with a vicious Steel Wing. Before the two Team Rocket pilots could draw their sidearms, she had messily gutted one with her sickle and thrown the other out into empty space. As Allie and Kevin struggled to hang on, the entire helicopter tilted sharply and plunged sideways, spiraling over the city toward the darkened shores of CWCville Beach.
"SHOOT HER! ALLIE, SHOOT HER!" screamed Kevin. Black clouds were spreading across his eyes, and in the midst of so much pain, it was all he could do to hang on to the plummeting helicopter. Fighting to concentrate, Allie drew her pistol and emptied the magazine into the front ofSkyRocket, but only managed to score two direct hits. Angelica lunged with a scream, and if Kevin hadn't pulled her back, the gleaming sickle might have sliced Allie's throat wide open. In desperation, the Jerkop reached for Trogdor, hooking her fingers around the flamethrower's strap and heaving the entire thing off the floor as the Rosechu pushed her way out of the cockpit.
"Judgment awaits you, Shaw!" Angelica hissed, keeping her balance despite the helicopter's rapid descent. "Your vile serpent was no match for a true and faithful servant of the GodBear! In the name of the Lo0rd and true Christian love, I shall smite you and your whore from this earth!" The silver sickle flashed in her hand, its surface marred by bloodstains. "DIE, UNBELIEVER!"
BANG! Kevin's eyes seared with pain as a blinding light exploded through the falling helicopter. Angelica screamed and reeled backwards, her fur and feathers smoldering in a dozen places. A second gunshot rang out, peppering the shrieking Rosechu with a dozen glowing, sizzling shards of shrapnel. Stunned, the Jerkop looked to his right to see Allie loosing off blast after blast from Trogdor's secondary barrel, transforming the front of SkyRocket into a blistering firestorm.
"AAAAGGGGHHH! NOOOOOOO!" Struggling against the immense heat, Angelica folded her wings and launched herself backwards, out of the chopper and into the night. Like a falling star, she plummeted into the ocean and vanished beneath the surface, extinguishing the flames in sub-zero water before they could consume any more of her body.
"Kevin, she's gone!" Allie released her grip on Trogdor and whirled back to Kevin, panting as the adrenaline surge dissipated. "Come on, we need to stop this thing before it cra-"
The Jerkop's words died upon her lips as she looked at her boyfriend's face. Twin streams of crimson oozed their way down Kevin's cheeks, flowing from reddened eyes. He could hardly speak through his chattering teeth, as if he was fighting off the mother of all fevers. The headache was still getting worse and worse, threatening to tear his skull wide open from within.
"FUCK! HOLD ON, KEVIN!" Allie hurled herself into the fire, fighting her way through clouds of billowing smoke from the magnesium "dragon's breath" shells she had just unloaded into Angelica. Even with her fireproof suit, the cockpit felt like the inside of a blast furnace. Grasping the yoke, she pulled back hard and to the right, trying to counteract the out-of-control spin. The altimeter continued to drop rapidly as the Jerkop fought for control, ticking steadily downward to zero.
Allie had never flown a helicopter before, and it was clear that her frenzied efforts weren't exactly helping their plight. Punching the auto-hover control, she felt the chopper stabilize slightly, but it was still falling towards the beach. Panic began to take hold as she yanked back on the flight controls. SkyRocket's nose pulled upward, and miraculously, the aircraft's descent began to slow. It wasn't enough to save them from crashing, but maybe there was still hope. Glancing over her shoulder, she could see Kevin lying motionless on the floor of the helicopter. Abandoning the cockpit, Allie dashed out of the inferno and pulled a cargo strap across herself and her squadmate to act as an impromptu seat belt. The ground was rising rapidly to meet them, and all she could to at the moment was pray that she had managed to slow it down enough.
CRUNCH! SPLASH! SkyRocket plowed headfirst into the beach, sending a deluge of frothy water cascading across its armored surface. Allie barely had time to brace herself before she and Kevin were flung forward against the wall by the heavy impact. Stars and colored lights danced across her vision, and she felt her lungs empty of breath as the wind was knocked clean out of her. The burning chopper slid another thirty feet, bounced once, and tipped over onto its side, its rotors shattering as they sliced through the wet icy sand. The last thing Allie saw before she was briskly hurled into unconsciousness was the side of the aircraft collapsing on top of her.
The chorus of grinding metal and crackling flames faded and died as the minutes ticked on and on. High above CWCville, the outbound rocket continued its ascent, carrying its cargo of Devil Trolls far away into the heavens. Silence reclaimed the beach, and SkyRocket's rotors finally ceased their spinning. Freezing waves rocked the fallen helicopter as the tide continued its way in, gently lapping against the two unconscious Jerkops and extinguishing any remnant embers.
Gradually, Kevin's fevered eyes drifted open, revealing the scene of destruction around him. Allie lay beside him, half-crushed beneath a heavy chunk of steel and glass, her left arm dripping with blood from where a white piece of broken bone had plunged outward through her skin. Her face was ashen, her skin clammy and cold, her eyes squeezed shut in what seemed like death…
"Allie," he coughed, reaching out with a trembling hand to touch her burned face. "Allie!"
"Hello, murderer."
Kevin's chest tightened, as if it was locked in freezing talons. There was no mistaking that voice. Of all the times to be hearing it, this had to be the absolute worst. No way. There was no way…
"You thought you beat me, didn't you, Shaw?" Sonichu growled as he advanced on the fallen Jerkop. The Electric Hedgehog Pokémon's feet were no longer burned, his sneakers no longer fused together. He looked healthy, strong, brimming with enough vengeance to wipe out a small town. "You thought you'd gotten the best of me? You thought you could win against me?"
There was no point in even trying to reach for his sidearm. Defeated, Kevin let his head drop to the floor of the helicopter. Stinging tears poured from his eyes as the footfalls grew closer, carrying his executioner toward him one step at a time. There was no smug, victorious gleam in Sonichu's eyes, though…only the same bitter stare as his Jerkop nemesis.
"You butchered my wife, Shaw," snarled the Hero of CWCville. "You massacred my children. Rosechu. Cera Rosey. Christine Rosey. Robbie Sonee. You killed them. You killed them all, and now not even Christian can bring them back." Reaching down, he grabbed Kevin's arm and hauled him from the wreckage, pausing only to examine Allie's motionless body. "I should have killed you long ago, you monster. You heart-shattering, greedy, child-murdering JEW bastard!"
Kevin could hardly believe what he was hearing. Had Sonichu…the Sonichu…just cursed?
"I remember you," Sonichu continued. "I remember you…the day Christian returned, you told me we'd meet again, and that I'd know what it was like to lose the ones I treasured the most." His eyes narrowed as he dropped Kevin to the ground and turned to face Allie. "After what you did to my family, I think it's only fair that I returned the favor."
"No…" Kevin croaked as blood dribbled from his mouth. "No…not Allie…"
"Oh, I won't kill her, Shaw. I'm not a villain like you." Gripping the girl around her waist, the Electric Hedgehog Pokémon heaved her off the floor. "But Christian needs a Sweetheart from the Ground-Up, and you just volunteered this boyfriend-free girl as the perfect candidate." He placed Allie down gently on the sand, then knelt beside Kevin and ruffled the Jerkop's hair with a gloved hand. "When we meet again, Shaw, it will be the last time. Until then...SO…NI…CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"
The beach, the crash site, and Sonichu vanished in a flash of electricity. Kevin felt himself hurled into the air by the Thunder Wave, spinning violently until his battered body slammed against the ocean with a colossal splash. Cold water shrouded the wounded Jerkop like an icy blanket, and the black fog returned to his mind. Death was calling once again, but this time, there was no one to save him. It felt like his blood itself was turning to ice. His limbs were paralyzed, and what little energy remained within him was being rapidly depleted with each frantic gasp for air.
Closing his eyes, Kevin lay back and allowed the freezing sea to take him. There was no point in fighting it…from the moment he'd hit the water, his fate had been sealed. Soon his body would shut down, and he would fall into the last sleep of his life. Already, darkness was washing over him, shrouding his mind in peace and bliss. The futility and despair vanished, leaving only…
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
"And so it ends, pawn," an ominous voice echoed through the Jerkop's mindscape. "Your part in this tale has reached a close. You've done well, no doubt, but I believe my time has come again."
How… Kevin thought, slipping into insanity as his last thoughts flickered out. You're dead…
"Hardly," chuckled Count Graduon, enveloping his victim's consciousness in a blanket of psychic energy. "Merely awaiting my cue, pawn. Now sleep…there is still much to be done."
End of Part Four