a/n: So the first thing I'd like to say is completely unrelated and it's asdfghjk thank you!! :D With the last chapter the story alert count for this fic went over 100 – over 100 people get an email every time I update :O – and that chapter received 19 reviews which is more than anything else I've ever written! Thank you so much, everyone!! It's incredible and I really hope you like the rest of the story :D And if you noticed me asking on my livejournal how old you thought Fye was then I had this all thought out long, long before it suddenly occurred to me that people might not know x.x

When Fye came through into the living room, he was flicking his fingers anxiously against his passport and treading with the lightest pace, eyes drifting over the room silently and soberly, taking in everything with a certain reflection, a warm sadness as he smiled softly down to Kurogane and padded over to the sofa. The room was sparingly lit, that single lampshade on the table giving out a meagre glow that pooled across the room and cast a golden hue over the sparse furniture, over the odd corners of mess and Kurogane's skin. He was hunched over in his seat, staring towards the TV with an empty gaze as though locked in a battle with his own thoughts and slowly sinking as he struggled with a very simplistic, a very natural mess.

Carefully and preciously, Fye smiled and set his passport down on to table in a neat and clipped manner before stepping over and gently laying his weight on to the sofa as if scared to ripple the silent, tense air between them, make a sound in a room so muffled. Kurogane was staring at him without any certain emotions, expecting him to speak or explain or hand over the passport.

There was nothing urgent to be voiced in Fye's mind, nothing small or conversational and the emptiness preyed on him for a moment, brewing with questions and confessions minutes earlier. He sat there for a moment, sighing and gazing down to his fingers, twisting anxiously as he wondered what he needed to say first, what could possibly lift this frustrating weight hovering over them.

He nearly jumped as he felt Kurogane's fingers touch against his leg, snapping him to attention, and he whipped round to feel that hard and pressing stare of Kurogane's, asking him to face a wordless demon without fear.

Instinctively he smiled, wide and relaxed, lifting his hand to brush his fingers lightly along his jaw, touching delicately as though still strangely uncertain. He shifted his knees to the side, bringing them up on to the sofa and shuffled nearer him, coming closer to Kurogane before kissing him tentatively, laying a long, soft peck like a gem on his cheek close to his lips while the TV nattered nonsense about the weather in the background, his heart beating loudly in bliss and protest as Kurogane's fingers curled about his arm.

Fye slowly tilted his head and brought his lips to Kurogane's, starting the process all over again, feeling Kurogane's arm slip about his back and his lips shifting and playing against his as though in sync, warm and beautiful. Time became engulfed and they began to lose themselves in its gentle ebb, softly separating only to breathe and fall into the other again, something beginning to unwind and set itself at ease inside them despite guilt and confusion picking at their insides. Fye had barely ever been kissed so gently, so preciously. He'd happily wallow in the happiness and warmth it evoked for as long as he could be allowed.

When they finally separated, Fye gave a smile, whole and satisfied, at peace with himself somehow and Kurogane flicked off the TV as Fye fell on to the back of the sofa, a keen and sparkling smile playing on his lips.

"Do you want to know something more about me?" Fye asked gently and slowly, his voice seeming to slip and slide in the atmosphere between them with his head held in hand, comfortably lying there.

Kurogane found himself smirking, finding something irresistible in that tone, something startlingly new and different in the way he softly pressed himself into the padding of the sofa. "Okay," he prompted.

"Mmmm," Fye hummed thoughtfully, tapping a finger against his cheek lightly, slow and metronomic before breaking into a smile, lips curving smoothly, eyes digging deep into Kurogane with an endearing glitter, a wondrous expression. "I'm a twin. I'm adopted. I liked art and drawing when I was a kid. I stayed in a town less than an hour away from Hamburg… I used to have a cat called Moko. Her favourite food was tuna. My brother and I were always together. It was difficult to separate us." He smirked, broken from a drifting and disjointed train of thought. "He always had crazy ideas. He still does. He wrote a lot of stories and pretended to be monsters. I was a lot quieter but I still liked to explore and to see new things. We both had bikes and I'd take us out and we'd mess around in parks on the other side of town." He seemed to snap from his daydream then, to catch his voice drifting dreamily away, and continued in a much more solid voice, still silk smooth and captivating. "I've had two proper boyfriends before. One was when I was eighteen and we were only together for three months. I was only with the other for seven months. Neither was too special to me in the end. So…" He sighed, smiling happily, reaching his hand across and taking Kurogane's, his fingers slipping beneath his rough palm. "Still want to know more about me?" he asked, an enigmatic sparkle in his eyes.

Kurogane clenched his fingers about Fye's, slowly and pensively, touching upon his flesh as though immersing himself in new dimensions, new emotions and possibilities and feeling Fye stare, painfully still and cautious. He nodded.

"I like both coffee and tea. I hate answering phones. I liked my lab classes at university, not so much writing about them. I have online friends in Italy, America and Australia. I love very quiet and peaceful nights and I like films and books more than going out. I suppose I'm very simple that way," he laughed, smiling across to Kurogane and then allowing his eyes to flick over to the curtains, the night and darkness beneath them, flickers of lights interrupting the swathe of black. The lamps about them seemed to glow golden on their skins like an old and worn photograph, a vintage sepia tone.

Kurogane wordlessly leant over to clasp his shoulders in his palms, kissing him softly and momentarily on the lips. Fye himself remained almost frozen, perfectly still and seemingly lost, though he smiled delicately, warmly, something beautiful and precious gleaming in his eyes as Kurogane drew away.

Kurogane frowned, running a hand across the back of his head, feeling Fye's blonde locks slip and spill over his hand and through his fingers, and Fye brought himself across, kissing him deeply, as if testing the romance that had blossomed so suddenly between them, as if indulging in it. Even so his body felt stiff to Kurogane, felt awkward beneath his fingers and soon Fye pulled away, lips separating slowly and brushing moistly against his mouth.

"How old did I say I was?" Fye seemed to breathe against Kurogane's lips, eyes still closed though they opened slowly and flicked hesitantly towards Kurogane's, guilt ticking anxiously away inside.

"Twenty-four," Kurogane muttered as his arms slipped off Fye's shoulders, a tight frown developing suspiciously on his face.

"Mmmm," Fye sighed, resting his hands against Kurogane's arms, his posture straightening and becoming stiffer, his expression both apologetic and alert. He smiled softly; he leant forward to press a sorry and heart-felt kiss to Kurogane's cheek. "I'm twenty-one," he revealed in a voice, pained and small, skimming across Kurogane's skin before he drew away and continued. "I was twenty when we met. My birthday was about three months ago."

Kurogane's frown deepened, a tight and judgemental glare running over Fye uncertainly as he turned the fact over in his head. "There's eleven years between us…" he calculated.

Fye nodded, a soft and gentle bob, his smile curving into something very delicate and beautiful. "Do you mind?" he asked, his voice fragile and thick with care and apology though still strong, hopeful.

It seemed as though Kurogane paused for a moment but he shook his head very definitely, firm and certain. "I guessed you were still a student when you told me about your brother."

Fye smirked, dropping his head and allowing it to lie against Kurogane's chest for a moment, settling there comfortably and peacefully, his hands drifting, touching against his arms as Kurogane sat perfectly still and observant beneath him. He let himself sink into the feeling for just a moment, wonderfully warm and comforting, protected from everything, all of his secrets and lies and mistakes. It felt like it had all become meaningless somehow. And the weight began to lift, his body against Kurogane's.

"My name's not Fye," he blurted out, muffled slightly by Kurogane's shirt.

Kurogane tensed slightly, frowning down on him as though trying to judge whether to be annoyed or accepting. "So what is it?" he asked gruffly, pulling Fye away from his body slightly to stare him harshly in the eye.

"Yuui," Fye responded, smiling lightly, apologetically, almost challengingly towards Kurogane, "Fai is my brother's name." He stared straight into Kurogane, daring him to accept and move on, daring him to snap and yell at him for tricking him all this time, smiling weakly as though pleading him not to…

Kurogane's lip twitched as he spat, "Tch," closing his eyes as though deliberating how to react. "I'm still calling you Fye," he muttered awkwardly, a grumble of aggravation rumbling low in his voice though unspoken, without words.

"You've never called me Fye," the other responded with a slight laugh, grinning widely, tensely, reaching out and tapping his nose. "You called me 'you'. Which is very close."

"Fye," Kurogane said to him stubbornly, just to make a point, "Shut up."

Fye gave a small laugh as he shuffled himself away and shook his head, brushing loose strands of blonde from his forehead as they tossed about, a shuffled dance. Kurogane's frown merely deepened, granting his laughter no notice, blanking it out and suddenly Fye's heart sank like a stone, something sharp seeming to hit him and pierce him. It chilled him and he gave a sigh, closing his eyes and bringing his feet up on to the sofa to hug his knees to his chest. "I'm sorry," he said, genuinely and painfully, looking so lost and young.

"Don't apologise," Kurogane stated roughly, bitterly, and Fye's brow twitched a little in guilt.

"I deceived you. You don't deserve that," he explained, staring him firmly in the eye, serious and sorrowful, and he received no response other than a long, uncertain stare.

The silence between them was heavy and consuming as they both sat there, trying to force the perfect words into their mouths but in the end Kurogane heaved a breath, folded his arms. "... Apology accepted," he grumbled, lightly shutting his eyes, reluctant to dwell on the subject and forgiving the actions of a troubled soul, lost within the streets of Tokyo.

Fye gave a small, grateful smile, a little ripple of hope through the tension, and he sighed, slipping his palm awkwardly over Kurogane's, steadily taking in their differences, their sizes - his thin and pale and Kurogane's tan skin, his stronger, roughened hands beneath. The weight clenched inside him began to alleviate – emotions and lies and time... "How long do we have before I leave?" he asked nervously, a strangely small and clipped voice.

"Depends when you want to leave," Kurogane responded, his brow furrowing into a stiff frown.

Fye paused and pulled his hand away, blue eyes glinting fearfully, taking in that calm and patient stare of Kurogane's. Finally he gave a sigh, leaning in and pressing a sweet kiss to Kurogane's jaw in a resigned apology before uttering sadly, decisively, "Soon."

"Your brother?" Kurogane asked almost tentatively, watching Fye's expression carefully, his distant eyes and unfeeling look as he nodded. "It's fine. It's important," he tried to assure Fye though his voice was surprisingly weak, uncertain.

Fye gave a small smile, wrapping his hand about his arm again, that reassuring strength washing into him again and he felt something very small begin to break inside of him – regret blossoming like a gradual and tearing crack through his body.

Kurogane reached over for his passport, snatching it up from the cluttered coffee table and flipping through it with curious fingers, shining emblems he failed to recognise printed and stamped on the front, on the patterned pages streaming through his fingers. He landed on the back page and stared into the basic details of the lodger he'd known for 5 months now and yet reading through the information before him it was like staring into the life of a different person. Yuui Flowright; birthday: 2nd October; newly 21 years old and in the photo he looked so much younger - a bright, warm smile gleaming emptily and a hesitant stare, his face so rounded and premature, two glowing beads of translucent blue against a mop of blonde hair with a long fringe brushing against his eyes and youthful, unrefined skin: the teenager Fye had been not so long ago and painfully so.

Kurogane shut the passport book with a frown, a bitter stab, and went to start up his computer, carefully slipping Fye's hand from his arm, tenderly loosening his grip.

"Why lie about your age?" Kurogane asked as he patiently waited on the loading screen – a glowing blue against ticking time – and Fye smiled as Kurogane ducked the emotional mess that was the theft of a precious name. Like he already understood that tangled, throbbing conflict in him.

"Because I don't want to be 21," he answered, head tucked into the sofa and voice mumbled, drifting. "I don't want to be half-finished my degree or searching for boyfriends and trying to be a person. I want to be ... an individual... *und ich fühle mich so... so unwichtig, so eingeschränkt und hilflos und ich kann nur warten... I can only wait. I just want to be old enough so that it's all finished... I'm tired of waiting for that freedom." His eyes were empty and distant as though somehow ashamed and vulnerable. He gave a sigh, lost in an ocean where only he could feel the swell and the tide so acutely, and began picking at the material of the sofa, detached from Kurogane's strong and judging gaze.

[*(and I feel so... so unimportant, so restricted and helpless and I can only wait...)]

"You are yourself and you make choices. You have that freedom already. Use it to make yourself happy," Kurogane said abruptly though not harshly and span back to the computer screen, missing Fye's expression entirely – eyes staring widely and fondly into his back as though warmed to the core, mouth trembling a little sadly as though setting ripples in that hopelessness in his mind, pushing him further into unobtainable dreams. They were so painful because they were so questionable.

"I don't know what I want," he said clearly and calmly, pushing himself off the sofa and stepping closer to the desk, padding across the carpet as though empty of emotions and their pressing weight.

"You want to see your brother and you want to be different from him. That's enough for now," Kurogane reasoned, inclining his head just slightly as he opened the internet window and his voice ran low with the wisdom of years.

Fye's lips twitched slightly, breaking into a grin and he bent down to press a warm, wet kiss to Kurogane's cheek, his smile only widening as he registered how silently flustered the other man had become. "Thank you," he simply said and turned his attention to the screen, eyes picking through the flight details as he was guided home, feeling as though it were beyond his powers.

***

"The kids can't know anything," Kurogane stated severely, throwing his breakfast bowl down on to the draining board. "You leaving is bad enough. I don't want them getting confused or telling their mother about you."

Fye nodded carefully. "Understood."

"So…" Kurogane let out a heavy breath, falling against his usual place at the sink against the worktop. "They can't know."

Though Fye's mind seemed to be floating about somewhere completely different. "This is the last time I can see them," he sighed, clasping his head in his hands on the table.

"You're coming back," Kurogane muttered unsympathetically, "you'll see them again."

"I think of all people, you shouldn't be the one who tells me it doesn't matter," Fye muttered tensely, frowning tightly towards him. His expression slowly softened, eyes glimmering gently as he rolled a spoon about in his hands. "And you're right but I'll miss them…" He started to lightly tap the spoon against the table, a distraction, airy thoughts, a saddened sigh... "We don't know when I'm coming back either, they'll probably be big by then…"

There was an awkward pause as words became jumbled and misaligned in Kurogane's mouth. "I'm sure they'd want to keep in touch…" he grumbled roughly, avoiding Fye's eye contact as he folded his arms, knotted them firm and tight.

Fye laughed; a bright beam of a smile, something wondrous and joyous in that beautiful grin. "Is that the same for Kuro-tan?" he sang, setting the spoon down with a ring and standing up, sauntering over.

"Yeah maybe," Kurogane muttered, shifting his eyes over suspiciously to Fye as he leant against the worktop beside him.

"I'd like that," Fye stated softly, sending Kurogane his kindest smile, the warmest glow in his eyes.

"… I'd need an address," Kurogane said reluctantly, feeling his voice catch rather than run smoothly. He glared towards Fye as his smile grew wider still but the look was quickly ignored as Fye skimmed over to the fridge, ripping a piece of paper off the magnetic notepad stamped to the door.

He snatched a pen off the table and scribbled two addresses on to it in looping and sweeping handwriting. It seemed to dash and scribble yet glide and dance, catching Kurogane somewhere in the chest as he realised this was the first time he'd seen Fye's handwriting. But before he could work out what was so strange, so personal about this, Fye had finished and handed the piece of paper over to him, clutched between two fingers.

"The first is my flat in Hamburg though I'm not sure if I'll be staying there anymore or not," Fye explained as Kurogane took the note from his hand, eyes skimming over it in vague interest. "The second is my parents' house so I'm sure if you address it to me, they'll pass it on."

Fye frowned, his lips slid to the side and he pouted, staring towards this piece of paper which he snatched back, hastily flicking it from Kurogane's fingers and scrawling a quick note at the bottom as a footnote:

Yuui Flowright
- aka Fye ;)

"My name," he said with a smile as he returned it to Kurogane.

He smirked, staring at the name and wandering over to the note-board in the corner where he plucked out a pin and set it on top of office dates and appointments.

"I hope you don't ignore it like everything else up there," Fye teased, wandering over and carefully touching a hand lightly to his arm, smiling preciously towards the board as though it symbolised everything he had found those past 5 months in Japan, every moment of happiness and each revelation to him.

"You'd make it hard," Kurogane grumbled roughly, his mouth nearly twitching into a smirk as Fye's fingers slowly slipped over his skin, gaining confidence and wrapping them about his arm, coming close to holding him.

"Definitiv," Fye laughed sweetly with a squeeze to his arm and reached over to peck him on the lips.

In the background a bell rang, just as Kurogane's fingers reached to touch his shoulder.

"I should go," Fye breathed with a mischievous smile, a twinkle in his eye. He set another kiss against Kurogane's lips, lingering for slightly longer this time before he unlatched himself from him, backing out the room and into the living room.

Kurogane was left in the kitchen, feeling the corners of his mouth twist, feeling lost and unnatural, a strange warmth rising within his chest, and then tried to push it back, shake it away before he turned to answer the door.

a/n: Sorry if that seemed a little short but the kids make an appearance next chapter! *sits and waits nervously for response*